Letting Go...

If you are doing your job as a parent well, you are ever so gradually preparing them to be independent. What a transformation that really is when you consider how they are 100% dependent on you at the very start. Well mine weren't 100% dependent on me since they were in the NICU, but they were definitely 0% independent. The first big act of "letting go" is leaving them with a babysitter. Nadia's first babysitters watched her in my office while I was teaching. It helped knowing she was still in the same building. The next big step for me was putting them in the nursery for Sunday School and church. I delayed that as long as possible. Each mom is very different in this regard. There's a mom whose baby just turned 3 months old, and she's already been dropping her son (firstborn) at the nursery for a few weeks, and there's another mom, whose baby is 7 or maybe 8 months old, and she still keeps her daughter (also firstborn) in the service with her.

The next step for me was Nadia's first VBS. Normally if she's doing something apart from me, I'm still in the same building (ex. at church or at gymnastics class). VBS was different as it was the first time I was dropping her off and picking her up 2.5 hours later 5 nights in a row. It also felt like a bigger deal because it wasn't at our church. I didn't know many people there at all. Dance Camp was a similar situation (3 hours long). This week she's been at her second VBS, and I don't think I know anyone at this church although I did meet the pastor when I went to a Zumba class there once. When I pick her up 2.5 hours later I feel the need to shower her with hugs and kisses. Thankfully she's still at the age where she very willingly accepts all that affection. Part of me wants to scream - "you're growing up too fast for me to be dropping you off and picking you up somehwere!" and another part of me feels really proud of her when I get such good reports from several adults. I get this small sense of the baby bird taking tiny little steps out of the nest and have very mixed emotions. I do think it's helpful that I am not sticking around for VBS because I find my presence can be distracting at swim lessons. She often feels the need to look for me and say something to me when I want her to be 100% focused on what Melissa (the lifeguard who is teaching her class) is saying.

Ian ended up going with us to Nadia's swimming lesson because Karen (OT) called yesterday morning and said that she and Chris (Speech) wanted to have a joint session with Ian to coordinate their services. Since they made the joint appointment for 11:45, it meant I was able to take Ian with me, and the three of us were able to swim a little at our pool before scurrying back for Ian's appointment. I know that speech therapists do deal with feeding issues also (they are often on feeding teams), but to be honest I don't think yesterday's session was very beneficial. Actually I haven't found the speech therapy to really be helpful beyond the tips she shared at the very first session. She hasn't given me any additional suggestions of what to do with Ian since then, and what she does with Ian (plays with him and reads to him) is what I do all the time. She's a really nice person, and it's more complicated as I knew her from the church I used to go to. Hopefully as time goes I'll see this service as beneficial, but right now I can't say that I do. Karen hadn't been to our house in a month, and frankly that hadn't been a problem either. I don't think weekly sessions are actually needed, but she definitely gives me more tips than Chris does.

I did decide to take her advice yesterday to start letting him CIO for his nap. She suggested starting on Friday since we'll be in the car a lot on Thursday due to seeing the allergist. I decided to start today although tomorrow he won't have a nap in his crib. Even if he gets in a good rhythm, there are going to be times when he's not going to be able to sleep in his crib for his nap, such as when we're on the road for many hours for a doctor appointment. The last two days the only place he slept was the car, and since our longest trip was 20 minutes, he didn't take any nice naps the last two days. He hasn't taken a nap in his crib in a few months, but today after screaming for 50 minutes he fell asleep in his crib. I suspect that each time he'll cry a little less until he goes down easily like he already has been doing for quite a while at night. I was nervous that Nadia wouldn't be able to fall asleep with him screaming his head off in the room beside hers, but amazingly she did fall asleep through part of his tantrum. I got a little weeding done that I had been wanting to do for several days. I won't know what to do with myself if this becomes the norm because I have been used to having almost constant contact with Ian for at least 12 hours straight every day (from when he gets up at 6:30am until Paul comes home). I love the guy dearly, but I'll be able to get more housework and schoolwork done if he'll take a nap in his crib. Unfortunately he only slept for about 20 minutes. I let him cry again as Karen had said it is reasonable for him to spend 2 hours in his crib each afternoon, even if he's playing with stuffed animals for part of that time. He cried for another 20 minutes and then fell back asleep. That crying bout woke Nadia up, but she also fell back asleep. He then slept for 55 minutes. Since he had been in bed for 2.5 hours at that point, I got him as soon as he woke up. I fed him, and he fell back asleep in my arms. Well it's progress anyhow. Some day he'll learn to take his whole nap in his crib.

Ian didn't mind the vanilla flavored almond milk this morning. The EleCare arrived at noon. Had the seller shipped it when he/she said, it would have been here on Saturday, as it only took 2 days to arrive. I noticed at this grocery store that they had soy yogurt, which is WAY cheaper than coconut or almond milk yogurt. I'm going to ask the allergist about it tomorrow. He wasn't the one who told us to ban soy. That was the psychologist. I'm also going to ask about the Almond milk because it's only twice as expensive as cow's milk compared to EleCare, which is ten times more expensive than cow's milk (if bought on eBay or 100 times more expensive through Diplomat Pharmacy). I also bought some Veggie Sticks last night. You were right, Wendy, that Nadia liked them - even the spinach ones. Ian was happy to lick them, but they didn't inspire him to chew for the first time in his life like has happened with other children according to Dr. Williams. I wonder when Ian will discover how to chew. I never realized it could be such an ordeal to get a toddler to eat! I know you can relate to this, Regina.

19 Months Old!

1. Ian finds the word "phew" to be very funny. He laughs every time I say it! :-)

2. He voices his objections VERY strongly when he doesn't get his way. I'm looking forward to him getting to the point where tantrums aren't quite such a frequent occurence. Thank goodness his vomiting problem was corrected before he reached the tantrum stage!!!!!

3. The only word he says clearly is "no." He even says it when he's doing something he is not supposed to do, so he definitely understands what it means. He also says "ello" when he's playing with a phone, "ya" or something like that for Larry, "Doh" for "go" (when he's running), "Na" when pointing to a picture of Nadia, and "Ba" for ball and Bob (the tomato). He also sometimes says "woah" and "yay." So he's making some progress although he's still not where he "should" be for his age.

4. He's still only napping in either my arms, the stroller, or the carseat. Lately he's been back to taking two naps a day although some days he still has one long nap rather than two shorter ones. Ideally I'd prefer he had one nap that was during the time Nadia napped. For example on Sunday (thanks to Motrin due to his fever) he slept in my arms for 3 hours while Nadia was also napping. Yesterday he only took a 15 minute nap in the car. That wasn't good! I never thought I'd have a 19 month old who truly had no schedule when it came to naps, but that's exactly the situation we're in now. Karen (OT) said today that we should just start letting him CIO and get him to spend 2 hours in his crib every afternoon. Hopefully that will be a reality before he turns 20 months old

5. Sometimes he still wakes up too early (4:55 yesterday morning for example), but he generally doesn't cry very much before he goes back to sleep. Most days I go get him around 6:30am. He goes to bed around 7:45pm. I think the room darkening shade is helping.

6. He loves to run! Running around the dining room table is one of his favorite things to do. He thinks it's hysterical! It's a problem when we're at a place like the library as he just wants to GO no matter where we are.

7. He's doing better with me clipping his nails, but he still has a complete meltdown when I cut his hair.

8. He does well in the stroller and the carseat, but lately he's not doing well in the shopping cart. He wants me to hold him, and that's hard to do while I'm pushing the cart!

9. He weighs 24lbs 4 oz (23.5 percentile).

10. He'll watch whatever Nadia is watching on tv. He likes to stand right close to the tv (not good) so instead I try to hold him in my lap on the couch. I think his favorite show is Curious George.

11. Crying and laughing don't cause him to throw up any more. PTL! He might gag from time to time on something I'm feeding him, which he doesn't like, but as far as projectile vomiting goes, at the most he does that once a week.

12. He has six teeth - two on the top and four on the bottom.

13. He prefers to wear clothing that has animals on it.

14. He loves to lick finger food - saltine crackers, Wheat Thins, pretzels, Froot Loops, Cheerios, Puffs, etc. I am one who really, really hates to waste food. I am not sure why it bothers me so much, but it does. At first I was encouraged when Ian liked to lick something. At this point I just see this HUGE pile of food he goes through (it's really and truly a large quantity), but he doesn't consume any of it. He just licks it and then discards it, and I have to throw it away. It's starting to feel like a big waste to me, but I'm trying to remind myself that this too shall pass. Some day he'll be eating food not just licking it.

15. Just this week I switched him from a high chair to booster seat. He made that switch at a younger age than Nadia did. He was the one who let me know he wanted to sit in seat!

16. He loves his EleCare. It can be unflavored, but he prefers vanilla. It must be warm, and it must be in a Munchkin sippy cup. He'll just go hungry rather than drink from another one. Tomorrow we're going to learn if he'll drink Almond milk because we ran out of EleCare today because the seller on eBay said he/she would ship the case on July 7 but actually didn't ship it until July 11. I went ahead an ordered another case today so we should be set for a month once these two cases arrive. I'm going to ask on Thursday how long Ian is supposed to stay on the EleCare as it costs us about $210 a month.

17. He loves it when we read books to him.

18. He loves vehicles. It always cracks me up how when we go to the playground Nadia pays no attention to the cars, trucks, and motorcycles that go by on the road that can be seen from the playground whereas Ian spends a lot of time watching all the vehicles go by.

19. Ian is back to screaming with almost every bite. Maybe he'll qualify as the most strong willed child this psychologist has ever worked with. Sigh. He can now eat applesauce and baby cereal without gagging as well as small bits of fruit mixed in with that which has gone through the Magic Bullet. He's definitely making tiny steps of progress albeit eating table food seems light years away.

First Swimming Lesson

Nadia had her first swimming lesson this morning at the community pool. It was the first time we had been in that pool. In terms of the facilities, it's definitely a bigger, fancier pool than the one we belong to. They have water slides, a snack bar, ground nozzles spraying up water, etc. I'm still grateful we joined the pool we did because the community pool doesn't allow swim diapers in the main pool (only the kiddie pool), doesn't open until noon, and  gets rather crowded. I'm quite certain none of the lifeguards at that pool would have swum with Nadia like Joe and Kyle have done on many occasions. This pool is definitely better for giving swim lessons to preschoolers. Our main pool starts at 3ft deep. This pool has a section that goes from 1ft to 2.5 ft. Nadia could stand even in the deepest part of that section.

The lifeguard worked on a wide variety of skills during the 30 minute lesson including: blowing bubbles, kicking while on their bellies and their backs, jumping into the pool, moving their arms in the pattern used for breast stroke and freestyle, etc. Nadia followed the teacher's instructions most of the time. The teacher used the games "red light, green light" and "Simon says" during the lesson, and I don't think Nadia is familiar with how those games are played. We'll have to work on those at home. There were 6 kids in the class, and 2 of the moms got in the pool and helped the lifeguard. I wasn't able to do so since I was keeping track of Ian. He spent a little time in the kiddie pool, but the water was rather cold, and it went much deeper (2ft) than our pool's kiddie pool. He had fun playing with the water spouting out of the ground (like at a splash pad) at the entrance to the main pool. We spent some time at the playground before Nadia's lesson and then went straight to our pool to swim there for an hour after her lesson. We would have stayed longer, but Ian was ready for a nap. Tomorrow morning we'll only be going to Nadia's lesson because Ian has speech therapy and occupational therapy at our house tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some pictures tomorrow of her swim lesson since Ian will be home with Paul (and his speech therapist).

VBS Take Two

Ian woke up with a fever. Even his cute little feet were burning hot to the touch. He stayed home with Daddy while Nadia and I went to church. By this evening he seemed to be doing better. I'm hoping that he'll be fever free tomorrow as I was planning on going swimming at our pool after Nadia's 9:45 swim lesson at the community pool. He ate fine for his first two meals today (by fine I mean about as many tears as usual), but then he took a SERIOUS turn for the worse the rest of the day. Paul tried feeding him at 10am, and I tried at 1pm and 5pm, and in addition to shaking his head no and trying to bat the spoon with his hand (which he always does), he clamped his jaws shut. I really hope this was just because he wasn't feeling well! I wasn't trying to feed him green veggies - just a banana and some pineapple. He didn't eat much today in terms of solid foods. I am praying the EleCare arrives asap. I guess I should have kept one of the $40 cans that other pharmacy sent.

The pediatrician called yesterday to say that Ian's bloodwork showed he's allergic to peanuts, eggs, and wheat. I called the allergist because I wasn't sure if I should start eliminating wheat. He said that false positives are very common with the blood test for wheat. We see the allergist again on Thursday. It's so perplexing as the Pediatrician thinks that skin testing under the age of 2 isn't reliable. The GI doctor wants patch testing to be done. The Allergist won't do patch testing, but he does use skin testing. He only tested positive to eggs with the skin testing. The Allergist told us to eliminate milk, peanuts, and eggs. The psychologist asked that we add soy to that list because 50% of children who are allergic to milk are also allergic to soy. I am very confused! I hope I feel more confident of the "plan of action" after our appointment on Thursday.

Even though Nadia went to bed early, she still slept in later than usual. She was in bed for more than 12 hours whereas normally she sleeps about 11 hours. She also took a long (more than 3 hour) nap so I think she made up for missing her nap yesterday. She went to bed later than usual (8:40) because she started another VBS tonight. It goes from 6:00-8:30 Sunday through Thursday. Of course the first thing she told me was what she ate (pretzels, lemonade, and a popsicle). That's my girl, lol! She said she wanted to go back tomorrow. They gave each family a CD of the music the kids are learning this week. That was nice!

I'll Cry if I Want to

Paul and I had fun last night at the dance. There were about 10 couples there, and we were the youngest. I was the only woman not wearing official dance shoes. They were definitely the sort of people who take ballroom dancing seriously - lessons and such. The dance was for 3 hours, but we only stayed for a little more than 2 hours (38 of the 54 songs) because Paul came home right before we had to leave so he hadn't eaten dinner, and of course the longer we stayed the greater our babysitting bill would have been. We need to take more lessons. We are very rusty! The dance I couldn't seem to remember how to do at all was the cha cha, and that used to be one of my favorites! It cracked me up because the foxtrot was always my least favorite, but I remembered how to do it! I also remembered the rumba, waltz, and East Coast swing (jive). There were a few dances I have never done that we sat out - mambo, two step, polka, and West Coast swing. They do this once a month. I'm sure we won't go every month, but I'm sure we'll be back, and hopefully some day we can take more group lessons again. I definitely was using muscles I don't usually use as my legs were very, very sore by the end. I got somewhat dressed up (more than what I would wear to church), and that made it feel special. It's been years (probably at least 3) since I got that dressed up, and it was nice that everything I tried on (even size 10 dresses) fit. Yahoo! The dance teachers (husband/wife) seem really nice. He is a retired high school teacher who is now a Methodist pastor.

Today Nadia went to her second birthday party. It was the first one she attended for someone close to her age (Madison turned 4) as the first party she went to was for Gabby (13th birthday). The unique thing was that we've never met Madison or her family before. Madison's mom is Paul's dad's office manager. She's used to seeing pictures of Nadia and Ian all over the office, and so we were invited. It was very sweet of them to include us, and they were very generous toward all the children with many, many party favors being given. The party was held at a Children's Museum, which was a great venue for a party, and they had pizza, ice cream, chips, and cake. What more could you ask for? Well the only problem was the party started at 1pm. Nadia is almost always in bed by 1pm. Lately I've actually been backing her nap time up to 12 or 12:30 so that we can have more time at the pool in between her nap and dinner. In fact I have never before accepted an invitation to do something at 1pm with Nadia. Nap time is pretty sacred in my book, but Grandma and PopPop are very special people so I accepted the invitation.

Nadia was yawning on the way there (and rather grumpy). She did okay at the party, but as soon as we got in the car she started wailing. We had a 45 minute drive from the party to the swimming pool, and she cried for the first 25 minutes and then slept for the next 20 minutes. I have no idea how Ian managed to sleep through her screaming, but he did. She cried a lot more at the pool, especially because I made the mistake of bringing her Dora bathing suit rather than her Ariel one. What a scene she made. Ugh. Finally when she realized that the options were sit and watch Mommy and Ian swim or put on the Dora bathing suit, she agreed to wear the Dora bathing suit. Thankfully Kyle (one of the life guards) took pity on her state (having had only a 20 minute nap as she woke up when I parked the car) and tickled her and such while he was on duty and then swam with her for about 30 minutes after he was off duty. I learned today that Kyle and Joe had a younger sister who died in 2000 at the age of 3 from leukemia. I can't even imagine going through that. Anyhow Nadia had fun in the pool (water temperature was 82 degrees today - the rain yesterday cooled it down 3 degrees), but as soon as we got back in the car she started fussing and crying and screaming, and she carried on like that for the whole (20 minute) ride home. Although she had eaten a fair amount at the party, I figured she should eat at least a little something for dinner since that meal had been at 2pm and it seemed unrealistic to think she could go until 7am without eating anything else. A yogurt is usually the easiest thing to get her to eat. Well she started complaining about her belly hurting, and at first I thought she was just being fussy (beacuse she was still crying over EVERYthing), but then I decided to take it seriously, and sure enough she threw up the chocolate cake she had eaten a few hours earlier. The crying pretty much never stopped until I put her to bed at 7pm (one hour early). I had listened to her cry for about 3 hours total and had enough! The party was fun, but I am now even more resolved to keep naps as a very important part of our day! She had slept 3 hours yesterday, and although she didn't sleep in her bed on Thursday, at least she had rested for 90 minutes, and obviously at least resting in her bed helps somewhat beacuse she wasn't this ill behaved on Thursday. This children's museum is very nice. We'll go back again some day I am sure. The kids have already been there once before although Ian was very young so he was just held the first time they went.

Nadia wasn't the only one crying a lot today. Ian's excuse was a different one. He woke up with a 100 degree fever. He was burning up all day long even with Tylenol and Motrin. He wanted to be held almost the whole day, and he slept far more than usual. I guess he got the fever that Nadia had on Tuesday. Hers only lasted one day. I'm hoping the same is true for Ian because I'm playing a flute solo at church tomorrow so I can't stay home, and Paul won't be happy if I leave Ian at home with him. I took Ian shopping during the first hour of the birthday party to try to keep him away from the other children so they wouldn't catch his bug. I bought a white t-shirt for Nadia for VBS (the registration form said she needed on), and I bought two things at Home Depot for Paul. I had to carry Ian while pushing the shopping cart. Can I say that is not an easy task considering he weighs about 25 lbs!

A Time for Dancing...

Today was a time for...

1. Helping Paul renew his passport since his expires this month and he's traveling to Italy in September. I wish we were going with him, but I just can't picture putting my munchkins through all those time zone changes at this stage of life. He got his picture taken at CVS today and put his application in the mail.

2. Going to a few yard sales. I spent about $35, and almost all of the items were $1 or less. The most I spent on any one item was $2, such as for a beautiful hardbook collection of 7 of Eric Carle's books (original price was $34.95). I spent most of that at our neighbor's yard sale. Her daughter, Madeline, is 1 year older than Nadia, and her son, Cooper, is several months older than Ian. She has really great taste in clothing. Most of her daughter's clothing is from Gymboree, Old Navy, etc., and she sells most things for $1. I have been buying shoes from her for a few years and some of the ones I have bought in the past that don't fit Nadia yet she uses as dress up shoes; so we're getting a lot of use out of these shoes already! The sparkly sandals (from Gymboree) that are Nadia's favorite shoes right now were ones I bought from her yard sale last summer. If I had more time, I could have visited several more yard sales within 1 mile of our house as one development not far from our house was having a community yard sale today, but I can only spend so much time going to yard sales when I have a 1 and 3 year old in tow.

3. Going to the library for story hour. I asked one of the librarians if the woman doing the program for birth to three is a school teacher, and they said she is. That's what I thought. She did an outstanding job again today although I had a hard time keeping Ian under control today. Paul had a hard time with Ian at another library last night. He took the kids to a puppet show. Ian just wants to GO, GO, GO! It was a blessing that he was a bit on the late side as far as when he started walking.

4. Napping. On Sunday Nadia didn't take a nap. It's the first time I ever recall her not taking any nap when I did put her down for one. Yesterday she was in bed for 90 minutes but didn't nap (she had napped Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday). Then she fell asleep yesterday on the way to the swimming pool, which proved she did need a nap. She woke up in a very grumpy mood since that nap was only about 15 minutes long, and she usually naps for at least 90 minutes, if not longer. Today she had no trouble falling asleep for her three hour nap. I'm relieved as I'm not ready for her to give up her nap yet. I still have a goal in mind of a day when BOTH of my children will be down in their beds for a nap at the same time. I'm praying that becomes a normal thing before 2011 comes to a close.

5. Reading. I have still been reading to Nadia every day, but we haven't been spending as much time reading with our trips to the swimming pool. It's raining right now so we're not going to head to the pool as I originally planned. Nadia had a blast yesterday as Joseph (lifeguard) played with her in the water for 30 minutes. I'd love to give him a "tip." Do lifeguards get tips? He definitely enjoys kids and goes way beyond the call of duty. On Monday he got quite a workout as he was playing with a bunch of young children (2 hours after his shift ended). He kept lifting them up and throwing them in the water (2 other lifeguards were on duty). The water temperature at the pool yesterday was 85 degrees - heavenly! Yesterday a book I had ordered came in the mail. it contains all 6 Madeline books. We didn't read all of it yesterday, but we'll have time for that today since we're not going swimming.

6. Dancing! Tonight Paul and I are going ballroom dancing. We haven't danced in years, and it's how we met in 1997. Of course it was a lot cheaper back then as we didn't need to pay a babysitter. Hopefully we still remember how to do the tango, waltz, rhumba, cha cha, foxtrot, etc. I'm really looking forward to it!

Psychologist Visit #2

This morning Gabby came over to babysit Nadia while I took Ian for his 75 minute feeding appointment. Thankfully the drive was a little less than one hour (RT) compared to 3.5 hours (RT) to his office in Hershey. I'm grateful for the Lord's protection as I was inches from a car accident on the way home. I was driving in the left lane on a one way street, and the car in the right lane decided to make a left turn from the right lane. We all slammed on our brakes and came to a stop just in the nick of time. Whew. I'm glad we didn't drive all the way to Hershey as the appointment wasn't very informative. He said Ian is far more strong willed than most children. Over the years he said he's only had a few other kids continue screaming for that many months. Most firgure out much sooner than screaming doesn't mean they won't have to eat. At least Ian is finally starting to get that. He said I should start mashing some food and mix that with what's gone through the Magic Bullet and gradually increase the ratio and also puree it less in the blender as time goes to get him closer and closer to food as it's normally served. He said he has to teach some children how to chew, but he thinks in time Ian will figure that out himself. He suggested I reintroduce Gerber puffs. Well I tried that this evening, and if I put them on his tray he will lick them but then take them off his tongue and put them back on the tray (as he does with Froot Loops, Wheat Thins, pretzels, etc.). I actually put one puff back near where his molars will be and although he didn't like it, he didn't throw up! He swallowed it! That is big progress as 2 months ago he would have thrown up. He suggested I buy veggie sticks (evidently they're in the snack food aisle) as he said many of his children have never chewed anything but they'll chew for the first time on one of those. He said in his opinion they taste like styrofoam, but he said kids seem to love them. He said they're in the shape of a french fry but made of vegetables. I'll have to see if I can find some of those as I'd love to see Ian chew something for the first time in his life.

I keep hoping he'll feed himself some (egg free) cake for his 2nd birthday. We shall see. We go back to the allergist next week. I told him that Ian gets so upset when he sees us eating something he can't have (such as a Dorito). He said we shouldn't modify our diet at all, but that Ian will have to learn that he can't eat everything everyone else can eat. It feels so cruel, but I guess he's right. My heart breaks for Ian when he wants something we're eating that he can't have. I hope he's not really allergic to milk, but he probably is.

The pharmacy had UPS pick up the EleCare today, as I didn't want to pay $80 for 2 cans when I was told I was paying $80 for 12 cans. I ordered more on eBay last night. Diplomat pharmacy told me that their cost is $36/can. Yet they charge $200 a can!!! We were charged $80 (20%) for two cans, whereas last night I paid $110 for 6 cans on eBay. If you buy it straight from the manufacturer (Abbott), it's $210 for 6 cans. I'm trying to see if the insurance will reimburse us 80% even if we don't go through Diplomat as it makes NO sense for us to go through Diplomat. He's gone through 15.5 cans thus far. Dr. Williams said he should stay on the EleCare until the next endoscopy is completed, provided that one comes out "all clear."

Paul said something to his officemate about not having Rx drug coverage, and she said we did have it. I went to Walmart and showed them our insurance cards again to see if CVS had made a mistake (as they told me in January we didn't have an Rx drug coverage). Walmart said we don't have any. So I asked Paul to go to the health office at PSU to inquire. I sent receipts of what we've paid over the past few months for medications (over $800), and also Ian's Pulmicort prescription to see what they'd charge if we filled the prescription on campus. Well he submitted the receipts yesterday. I'm praying maybe we'll get some reimbursement. He's thinking maybe we'll get 50% back, which would be wonderful. He was told they cover more of it if we get it straight through PSU's pharmacy. Well if that's the case I'll send ALL our prescriptions with Paul to fill them at PSU! I was only intending for him to inquire of the price of Pulmicort, but he actually filled the Rx. If they do cover most of it, that will be fine. My concern when he told me he filled the Rx was due to #1 the fact that PSU charges $100 more per box than Walmart (the bill was over $500 yesterday for 2 boxes) and #2 if we don't have Rx drug coverage (as we were told we didn't over the past 6 months), then I would assume eventually AstraZeneca will get their act together and send us some for free. If we actually do have drug coverage I will call AZ to cancel our application, and I'll also not request any (free) refills from Merck. It's been a very confusing situation to say the least. Right now I'm waiting to hear from the insurance about how to go about getting coverage for EleCare if we don't use the pharmacy they contacted and I'm waiting to hear about how much we are charged for the Pulmicort at PSU as well as if we get any reimbursement on the $800 we spent at pharmacies other than PSU's the past few months. It would be such a HUGE relief if I knew we had Rx drug coverage and all we had to do was get prescriptions filled at PSU.

Back to School

Last night I submitted the grades for the first summer session. I only was submitting grades for three students in two different courses (individualized instructions). Today the second summer session begins. I have about 60 students this session as I'm teaching two online courses (an assessment course that has both graduate and undergraduate students in it as well as an undergraduate social studies course). I also have three more individualized instructions. I'll be having office hours online via Wimba four nights a week. Tomorrow night we're having a two hour class together (all online at the same time) so I've asked Paul to take the kids to a puppet show at a library during that time span. I can grade assignments while watching the kids, but I can't teach and watch the kids at the same time! My 6 month break from teaching has come to an end as of last night. For the next 6 months (aside from a 2 week break in August), I'll be teaching 2 online courses.

Not that I liked the fact that Nadia had a 102 degree fever yesterday, but one perk of that was she went down for her nap at 11am, which meant we got to spend a MUCH longer time at the pool than usual. We could have stayed even longer but Ian got really fussy because he needed another little nap. Her fever came back yesterday evening, but so far today she's been fever free. Her appetite hasn't returned yet. She'll be getting another day off from vegetables because well frankly I'll just be glad if she eats anything! Last night her dinner consisted of one graham cracker and a few raisins. Since it's been so hot out lately (90's), we went to the playground early this morning as we didn't go on Monday or Tuesday. It was Nadia's idea to wear the hat and bring her matching purse, lol. Oh and the skirt she's wearing here is her favorite one. Right now she doesn't ever want to wear shorts, and she always wants to wear her Mermaid (Ariel) bathing suit to the swimming pool and her Disney princess nightgown to bed at night. She has other pjs and other swimsuits, but they aren't getting worn much any more. It's kind of funny that both kids hit the stage of being picky about what they were wearing at the same time considering Nadia is 17.5 months older than Ian. Ian wants animals on his clothing, thankfully Mickey Mouse counts as an animal.

I almost had a stroke when the UPS guy delivered Ian's EleCare today because the box only contained two cans not two cases (12 cans). They had said our $80 monthly copay would be for 2 cases - a 30 day supply. Two cans will only last 5 days. It would be MUCH cheaper for me to buy EleCare on eBay or Amazon than to go through the insurance if it truly was going to cost us $40 a can (that was only 20% of the cost so the insurance would be paying $160 a can on top of that!). After being on hold with the pharmacy for a very long time, they told me that the shipping department goofed and only sent us 2 cans instead of 2 cases. They will send the rest shortly. Whew. They sent the unflavored kind. I said that if it doesn't cost any more, Ian prefers the vanilla kind. He will drink the unflavored kind though. These 2 cans won't go to waste. Ian has been doing MUCH better this week as far as not crying very much when I feed him. The trick has been to sing to him plus always have finger food on his tray for him to lick (ex. a bagel, pretzel, Wheat Thin, etc.). Tomorrow morning he's seeing Dr. Williams again (psychologist).

Six Years Ago

July 5, 2005 was one of the hardest days of my life physically and emotionally as I was given shots of methotrexate to end my first preganancy because the baby hadn't implanted in my uterus. June 15, 2005 was one of the happiest days of my life as it was the first time I saw 2 lines. At that point I was 33 years old, and we had been trying for a little over 3 years. It seemed my dreams were finally coming true. Last month I ran into a colleague at the mall. We were pregnant at the same time. We had sat in the waiting room together, and later we sat in the lab area together. She was having her glucose test, and they were checking to see if my hCG had gone down all the way. Our due dates were only days apart. I've seen pictures over the years of her daughter (and son whom she had a couple of years later), but last month was the first time I saw her in person. I felt like my breath was knocked out of me. It was surreal to talk to a 5 year old who was born around the same due date of my first child. I have not forgotten that little one. Yes, the pain has been eased by giving birth twice since then, but that doesn't erase the fact that I never got to hold my first baby. I believe I will in Heaven some day. I wish I knew the gender so I could refer to that baby by name.

Ian slept until 6:35 today!! His blanket was still on his back when I got him, so he had slept rather soundly for 10.75 hours! Maybe the room darkening shade is working after all as over the past 8 mornings since it was installed he slept until at least 6:30 four of the mornings. Thursday through Sunday he woke up between 5:15-5:40. Nadia woke up and told me she had a fever. The thermometer confirmed that diagnosis (102). She doesn't have any other symptoms aside from being lethargic and not having an appetite. She was fine yesterday. Hoping she feels better soon! Nine of the past ten days she has eaten some vegeatables. I made an exception on Saturday at Friendly's. Today she'll be getting a reprieve since she doesn't feel well.

God Bless America!

Today started out as a very happy day for me because although Ian woke up at 5:40 (he's been waking up between 5:15-5:40 every day), for once he went back to sleep and didn't actually get up until 7:15! Yahoooooo! This morning we went to our town's 4th of July parade for the third year in a row. When she was 1 year old she was fairly oblivious to the event. Last year and this year she loved collecting all the candy that the people in the parade throw out to the children. Ian has never had a piece of candy, but he loves watching the tractors, fire engines, motorcycles, etc. that go by in a parade.

The kids and I went to the pool this afternoon. Both kids were sad when it was time to go, but I was hungry for dinner! Nadia had fun with Kyle, Joseph (both lifeguards), and a couple of teenage girls. Yesterday would have been a great day to go the pool as it was in the 90's, and I was really hot after mowing during Nadia's nap, but Paul doesn't ever go to the pool with us (aside from on Memorial Day), and if we went to the pool yesterday then Paul wouldn't have spent any time with Nadia yesterday as the kids and I were at church from 8:45-12:45 and then she took her nap. I suggested we walk to the ice cream stand and playground after her nap as I figured he'd join us for that. Normally, I won't walk that far when it's that hot out, but sharing a fudge boat with Nadia helped motivate me to endure the heat!


Nadia loved picking up lots of candy!



I'm very grateful that we live in the United States. I hope I never take our freedom for granted! We are very blessed. Sometimes I get concerned about the direction our country seems to be heading, but I'm hoping that our country will still be a great one when Ian and Nadia are adults.

Paul doesn't like fireworks, but I love them. I think next year Nadia will be old enough to enjoy them. I am thinking at this point the loud noise still might scare her. Maybe next year Ian can stay home with Paul, and Nadia and I can go see the fireworks. I hope the kids love them as much as I do! There are so many firsts to look forward to with children.

Ian did a LOT of pointing at the parade (as the various vehicles went by).