Merry Christmas!

Yesterday evening we were packing for our trip to MD and also our trip to the Virgin Islands (very different types of clothing needed). I thought I should try on my shorts before packing them. They didn't fit! There were 2 pairs of shorts I didn't wear this summer because they were too big; they were the only pairs I could button/zipper BUT even those hurt. The only ones that I can really wear are the ones with elastic waists. So I am not taking too many pairs of shorts with me! If I could have run out and bought a few pair of maternity shorts, I would have, but they are not for sale in PA in Dec, LOL. I didn't even bother trying on my capri pants. I found one sundress that still fits and packed that for any time we want to eat dinner at a nice restaurant. At least my t-shirts and short sleeved tops still fit, LOL! So although I am not yet "showing" my abdomen is definitely increasing in size. Normally this would bring me to tears and I'd start dieting right away. I had to keep reminding myself last night that it's bc I am pg that nothing is fitting. I've heard people talk about the stage in pgcy where you just feel fat before you start obviously having a pg belly. Well that's where I'm at! Thankfully I have a few pairs of winter pants that have elastic waistbands, or I'd already be in maternity pants as pants that button/zip up just don't fit any more! I'm not taking the computer on our vacation so there won't be any posts between Dec 29-Jan 8. I might post from MD though in the next couple of days. Hope you and your family has a very Merry Christmas!

What an amazing day!

I've had many days over the years where it seemed like everything went wrong as everyone does from time to time. I often call them "horrible, terrible, no good, very bad days" from the children's book about Alexander who had a day like that. I have to say though I don't ever remember having so many GOOD things happen in one day, and I mean really good things. Is there a title of a book about a day like that? Of course by FAR the highlight of the day was seeing our baby moving around. Nothing could top that. Then Paul decided to take the day off (he's still been going to school every day) and after the u/s we went and had breakfast at Cracker Barrell together. That was really a nice treat to have breakfast out with my hubby.

Then I checked my work email this afternoon (hadn't checked it for over a day which is rare for me), and yesterday I had gotten an email saying an article I submitted for publication this summer was accepted! This is also VERY good news. I am going up for promotion and tenure (will find out this spring if I got either or both of them), and refereed articles are HUGE. This is my 5th in the last three years, but it had been quite a few months since my last acceptance (and quite a few rejections in between).

I am in shock. All this good news is overwhelming (in a good way of course). What a wonderful day!!!! Thank you, Lord!!!!!!!!!!

Baby waved at us!

Baby is growing like a weed! He/she is now 31.9mm (crown to rump - they measure babies that way until about 20 weeks when they switch to measuring them crown to heel). By measurement that equals a gestational age of 10w4d which would mean an EDD of 7-17. When I had my first u/s I was assuming I was 6w4d and by measurement I was 6w1d and Dr. Awad said I was 6w2d. At the second u/s I measured at 8w2d which was exactly how far along I was according to Dr. A. Today according to Dr. A I am 10w1d, but baby measured at 10w4d, and by my calculations based on when I had the emryo transfer I'd say I'm 10w3d so my date (7-18) seems closer now than his (7-20). Well I will wait and see what Dr. Owosu says my EDD is, and I'll stick with whatever he says. Of course these dates are just estimated. Only God knows what day baby will be born, but we can say most likely it will be in July! :-)

Dr. A gave me a hug at the end (which he's never done before). When I thanked him again at the end he said something like God did this to which I said I completely agree. I thought that was really cool he gave God credit. I noticed in the waiting area that in front of the Christmas tree they had a nativity, and also that in the section of books on infertility they had one I had read which is by a Christian author (Ache for a Child). Dr. A said he's going to miss me (I've been his patient for 3 1/2 years now). I said I promised to bring our baby by this summer and show him or her off to everyone. He said I should take three more estrogen shots (last one will be Jan 1 when I'll be in my 11th week), and he said I should stay on the suppositories for two more weeks. So we went to the pharmacy and got another 30 suppositories as I only had 5 left.

The absolute best part of the day though was the ultrasound. This time when he pushed on my belly that DID get baby to move. Baby put on quite a show for us! Baby would rest a little and then start moving again without him jiggling me around. At one point Dr. A said to us that baby is waving at us, but Paul said it just looked like the baby was stretching. Dr. A said it was very impressive that the baby had three episodes of moving in such a brief amount of time (said it is unusual). He/she is quite the little swimmer! Anyhow it was utterly amazing to watch our little one move around. I should have brought my camera and filmed a little video of it!!!

The receptionist asked who was going to be my OB, and I said Dr. Owosu and she said he's her GYN. She said we'll love him! She said he's a big guy with huge hands but super kind and gentle and very warm and caring. She said he's a Christian. I thought it was surprising that she'd give me that bit of information on him. So anyhow I am glad I am being passed off to someone who sounds like a really nice OB. Now I have to wait 3 weeks and 1 day for my next appointment. Probably I won't get an ultrasound at that point. Probably he'll just listen to the heartbeat by doppler. I imagine my next ultrasound will be the BIG one around 18 weeks when we (hopefully) will learn the gender of our baby. Dr. A teased us today and said "it's a boy" but the "extremity" he was pointing to was really the umbilical cord. We all laughed.

My heartburn came back on Friday afternoon after a 2 1/2 day reprieve, so I asked Dr. A today if there was anything other than Tums I could take. He said he'd rather me not. He doesn't feel enough tests have been done to prove some of the more powerful heartburn meds are safe for baby. Which is of course fine with me. Better safe than sorry!!! I am hoping that I'll be one of those who "outgrows" at least the nausea when I hit the 2nd trimester, but if I need to have heartburn and nausea for 9 months, so be it! My appetite DEFINITELY increased on Saturday and yesterday was no different. I can't believe how much I have to eat to get my stomach to stop growling!!!

Well again I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Tears of Joy

Well it's funny as I expected to have tears of joy if I ever was pg, but in actuality it wasn't until 10 weeks along that it happened! I thought *maybe* I'd cry tears of joy if I saw 2 lines on the hpt. I didn't. I think maybe it was in part because I had cried the night before the BFP when I found out the woman in FL didn't pick us (again...). So I don't think tears and happiness could be associated together for me at that moment. I was *sure* I would cry at the first ultrasound when we saw that little heartbeat. I didn't! I haven't cried at one yet (watch and today will be the first, lol). I was beaming though. I couldn't have been any happier!!! So I had thought well I guess the first (and only) time I guess I'll cry tears of joy will be when I give birth. Surely then I will cry tears of happiness. And I think that will prove true. I just think that experience will be completely overwhelming emotionally in a very good way of course.

It turns out though I cried tears of joy for the first time during church yesterday morning. About maybe 3-4 times a year our pastor doesn't preach a traditional sermon. Instead he comes out dressed in the costume of a biblical character and does a monologue speaking as if he were Paul or Peter or whomever. One time is always around Christmas, and he picks a different character to portray. Sometimes there are other actors involved so it's not a monologue. Yesterday he played the part of Joseph, and although he was the main character, Mary, Gabriel, and baby Jesus also were involved. Well it was "baby Jesus" that brought on the tears. They used a very young baby for the part; I would guess by the baby's jerky arm motions that the infant was 1 month old or younger. My pastor also has a gorgeous singing voice, and it's during these types of services that is usually the only time in the year that he sings a solo. Yesterday he sang one solo plus a duet with "Mary." Well while he sang "Joseph's song" (sung first I believe by Michael Card many years ago), tears just ran down my face. I'd like to say it was because I was touched by what Christ did for us - that he was willing to humble Himself and come down and take the flesh of a tiny, helpless babe. That truly is amazing! Such love!!! But that wasn't it yesterday morning. All I kept thinking was - I'm going to have one of those!!! And the tears fell. For some reason that tiny little baby just stirred up so much emotion, and I was overwhelmed at the thought that there's a little one growing right now inside me, and in less than 7 months I should be holding him/her in my arms. That thought just blew me away yesterday morning! I actually had to stop and think about something else or I was going to totally lose it emotionally I was just so overwhelmed with emotion. I kept thanking the Lord for allowing this miracle to occur within me. I am still in shock that I am 10 weeks pregnant! Amazing! This is the best Christmas present possible and in about 90 minutes we get to see our sweet little one again. You can be sure I'll post photos later this morning!

Merry Christmas to you ALL and again from the bottom of my heart let me say how greatly I appreciate your support, encouragement, and prayers. It's so special to have both people I know in real life and also people I only know online sharing in our joy!!!! I feel like shouting it from the rooftop - I am going to have a BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soooo hungry!

I do declare, I cannot seem to eat enough today to make my stomach stop growling! I just had a grilled cheese sandwich. I had a bowl of cereal when I got up and then in between breakfast and lunch ate a banana, an apple, and a cereal bar. I had a PB&J sandwich for lunch and since then a pudding, granola bar, and grilled cheese sandwich. And to be honest, I am still hungry! Yikes! I hadn't weighed myself in a couple of weeks, but I weighed myself today, and I haven't gained any weight so I guess baby needs me to eat this much!!! Baby also needs me to sleep a lot. I am averaging 10-11 hours of sleep a night! Only 2 more days until we see our precious baby again!!!

Shot #110

Well today I had injection #110 since I started them up on September 28 for the FET. Of course the pace has gone down drastically since Nov 27 when I went from 16 a week to 2 a week. But I wonder if today was maybe my last injection? I'll find out on Monday when we see the RE. I noticed there are no more refills on my progesterone suppositories which will be finished part way through next week. Of course if baby needs me to continue either or both, then I will gladly do so!!! But if I don't need to take suppositories or needles to the Caribbean, that would be awesome!

Crockpots are bad!

What was I thinking to make something in the crockpot today? This was NOT a smart move! Crockpots produce aromas...for HOURS! EEK! And I have been home all day today! My poor tummy... well I think I shall retreat upstairs. Maybe the smell isn't as strong up there. Plus I think I'll try to take a nap as most nights I've been going to bed by 8:30pm, and if I do that tonight I'll miss almost the whole football game. Gotta keep my priorities straight, LOL!

Reprieve!

I had decided Tuesday night that I was going to call the RE's office on Wednesday and ask if there is anything that is safe for me to take other than Tums for heartburn as I'd been having it almost 24 hours a day. Well wouldn't you know, but I didn't have any yesterday? Same goes for today so far! It's not that I'm a big fan of nausea, but if I had to pick, I'd take the nausea over the heartburn. So I am very grateful for the reprieve!! Only four more days til we get to see our sweet little one again! YAHOO! And then the next day will be the grand reunion of my WHOLE family! The Chicago four flew to MD today, but then they're heading to VA tomorrow. Christmas Day will be the day we'll all drive to MD (from our respective in-laws) to all be together for the first time in 2 years. We're having a family photo taken on the 26th. I can't wait til the day we take a family photo and OUR child is in the photo also!

Jeans don't fit!

Well I wore my jeans yesterday, but I don't plan to wear them for many more months. Technically they fit. I could zip and button them, and although I don't think they looked tight, they were tight in the waist and belly! So although I am not "showing" yet, there has definitely been some growth in my midsection as these jeans were very comfortable to wear a couple of weeks ago. This is the only thing I've "outgrown" thus far (that I know of anyhow) so I am not saying I'm ready for maternity clothes *yet,* but of course I am looking forward to the day when I do need them! Well if the 7-20 EDD is right then tomorrow marks the day when that day is only 7 months away! YAHOO! When I first found out I was pg my EDD was more than 8 months away. I've known I was pg now for almost 6 weeks as I found out at 4w0d if I go by 7-18 as the EDD or at 3w5d if I go by the 7-20 EDD. I will be hitting the double digit mark soon of 10 weeks!!!

Can't wait for Christmas!

December 25 will be the first time in 2 years that my WHOLE family will have been together. My sister from Turkey hasn't been back in awhile, and the last time she came back, my sister in Chicago wasn't able to be there at the same time. So it's been 2 years since we three sisters have been in the same place at the same time. We're each spending Christmas morning with our in-laws, but in the afternoon or evening we all plan to arrive at my parent's house. Growing up we were a family of 6, but now with spouses and children we have grown to 14 (well #15 will be there also but he/she will be nestled inside me!). We are all so excited that we will ALL finally be together. This is the longest we've gone before.  I can't wait to give my five nieces and nephews lots of hugs and kisses!!! We are also planning a trip to Christmas Candylane that week (at Hershey Park) with the 3 oldest which also should be a lot of fun! And even though I am pg I think it's safe to ride the kiddie rides with them.

No haircut

Well I haven't had a haircut in 4 months, and I have really been looking forward to getting mine cut today. The last couple of weeks while waiting for this appt my bangs have bothered me (down in my eyes). I usually trim them myself in between cuts, but I was trying to wait for my next cut. Anyhow I get to the salon at noon and she asks me "are you pg?" to which I said "yes, but how did you know?". It's not like I look pg yet! She said "you're glowing!" She's been my hairdresser for 3 years so she knows about our journeys with adoption and ttc. Anyhow she said then we need to reschedule. She is sick and didn't want to cut my hair if I am pg to make sure she wouldn't pass the bug on to me. So anyhow she qualifies as the first person who guessed I was pg without having heard it through the grapevine. I had planned to go right to work after the appt, but I had to go home as when I washed my hair this morning I hadn't blowdried it or anything, but had just put it in a ponytail. So I went home and made myself look more professional, and I cut my bangs because I just couldn't stand to have them in my eyes for 8 more days (when my appt is rescheduled). LOL! So this is the first thing that I was told I couldn't do bc I was pg. I know you can't have perms or get your hair colored, but I thought for sure you could still get it cut. :-)

Biggest Thrills

So far the absolute most awe inspiring moments of this pregnancy have been the ultrasounds. Wel the first most amazing event was seeing 2 lines on a hpt and watching those lines get darker. I would periodically pick up the hpt and just stare at it again to truly convince myself I really and truly was pg (which is why I never want to buy a fact plus brand hpt again since the line on that one disappeared within 24 hours!!!). Then I had the 3 Betas, and the numbers were so encouraging compared to the m/c 2 years ago. But none of that compared to seeing the little heartbeat on Nov 27 or seeing the BABY on Dec 11. Really there wasn't much to see on Nov 27 except for the h/b (which was truly amazing), but this Tuesday we saw our little one's head, arm, etc. So that moment now takes the cake for me in that it's the best moment so far. I keep thinking of that song "All I want for Christmas are my 2 front teeth" and I want to change the 2nd half of the sentence to "is to see my baby." I am so looking forward to seeing our little one again on Dec. 24. That will be by far the best Christmast present I will have ever received in my entire life, no question about it! What I am most looking forward to in the coming weeks are feeling the baby move within me, and seeing my belly expand (I want to look pg!). Right now I'd gladly pay $10 every two weeks to have an ultrasound every 2 weeks, but I am sure the insurance might start to have issues with that if the frequent u/s continued. I am glad though that they are taking place during this time prior to when I can feel the baby move.

I think part of the reason why I treasure the u/s so much is that I think at times I am still not 100% convinced I am pg. I am still in shock that this dream I've had for 20+ years has finally come true! You'd think the constant nausea and heartburn would convince me, LOL. I've never had heartburn in my life and now I have it rather frequently. Oh and I am sleeping more than I have ever slept before also! I often go to bed by 8:30pm! That's early even for me!!! I have no trouble sleeping 10 hours at a time nowadays and then I still might want a 1 hour nap the next day. That's a lot of sleep!!! Well anyhow any time I start to think - am I just dreaming or am I really pg, I just picture in my mind the ultrasound screen showing our precious little baby. What a gift!!!! Thank you, Lord!!!!

First prenatal visit scheduled!

Dr. Awad today said I should schedule my first prenatal appt for four weeks from now. I had decided to go to the hospital closer to work for my prenatal visits rather than the hospital where the RE is. The doctors I will be seeing work at BOTH hospitals, and I will deliver the baby at the bigger hospital where the RE is. I chose to switch hospitals because #1 it's a shorter drive from home and practically across the street from my office at work and #2 it's a smaller clinic, and I think the chances are greater I'll see an OB more often than a nurse midwife. This clinic has 4 MD's and 2 nurse midwifes (CNM). They only do their initial prenatal visits on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They said you are with the nurse for one hour and then the doctor for 30 minutes. I tried to schedule my appt for January 9 in the afternoon, but they only had morning appointments for that day. We can't due Jan 8 since we'll be in the Caribbean that day! I could have scheduled my appt for Jan 9 at 10:00 but it would have meant leaving Maryland really early that morning. So my appt has been scheduled for Jan 15 at 2:30 (nurse) and 3:30 (doctor) which is perfect as I teach a night class that night (6-9pm) and have office hours prior to class. Perfect timing! So my first prenatal visit will be at 13w2d. I will have gone 3w1d between appointments, but it's good to start spreading them out a bit as they won't be every 2 weeks the whole pgcy like they have been thus far! Only 13 days til we get to see baby again! I can't wait! I just love watching our little one and can't wait to see him/her move around like Dr. A said he/she will on Dec 24!!!!

Wow has baby grown!!!

Baby has grown from 4.9mm 2 weeks ago (measured at 6w1d) to 18.4mm today. Wow! Today baby measured at 8w2d which is exactly where I am according to Dr. A's calculations. So I guess I'll adjust my EDD from 7-18 to 7-20. Of course baby will come when he/she is ready whether that's before or after the EDD! I am not going to change the ticker until I have my first prenatal appointment. Dr. A said I should schedule it for 4 weeks from now. He wants to see me one more time (Dec 24), and then he said I should have my first prenatal appointment 2 weeks after that (when we get back from vacation). He tried REALLY hard to get baby to move around for us. He jiggled my belly and everything on the u/s screen was moving all around but baby just stayed in the same position. Of course the little heart was beating away like crazy!!! The h/b was definitely faster than last time although neither time did he give me a heartrate # like most doctors do. It was sooo awesome though as he pointed out our little one's hand, head, etc. The placenta at this point goes all the way around the gestational sac (which has grown quite a bit also to make room for growing baby!). The baby's head was pointed downward and the umbilical cord looks like it's coming out of baby's head (but it's not!). He said babies aren't always very active at 8 weeks, but he was very patient and gave me a LONG u/s trying to give baby a chance to cooperate. He said we should definitely see baby moving around at 10 weeks. I have to say this is the absolute best Christmas gift possible!!! We are having a BABY!!!!!!!!!

The pics are not as clear as looking at the screen while he was doing the u/s. He gave me five different u/s pics today. I'll just post two. The top one is from one angle which shows the baby better, and the bottom one is from the other side which shows the yolk sac (small circle) and baby's head (bigger circle). Thank you Lord!!! And I thank each of you for your prayers and support throughout this process!!!

Not an embryo any more

Well not that I'm crazy about the term "fetus" (sounds so impersonal compared to "baby"), but our little one is no longer in the embryo stage and is officially now in the fetal stage. So this is progress!!! Brainwaves should begin in just 6 days, and in just 5 days we get to see our little one again!!! I am grateful I can stay home all day today; so although I am getting work done (grading papers, wrote my tenure letter that is due by the end of the month, etc.) it's more relaxing to work from my living room couch. Smelling food is definitely what sets me off the most. I felt awful while my English muffin was in the toaster oven this morning. I also am learning to eat MORE in the morning than I have been. I don't mean eating more when I first eat but I mean in the next few hours. A pbj sandwich is what seems to work best at least yesterday and today anyhow. It seems so weird to eat that at 9am, but if it settles my stomach than so be it!!

Tomorrow is the end of our 3 year contract with Lifetime. On November 19 our coordinator had said in an email, "A lot can happen in a short period of time. I hope to call you with a birth mother situation for you and Paul to consider." I knew not to hold my breath, but of course there was a small part of me still holding on to some glimmer of hope that they'd finally come through for us. Of course this would be MUCH harder emotionally if I wasn't pregnant, but it's still painful. We started our first home study in November 2004. Paul wanted to do IVF back then. Of course if I had to do it over again, I wish I had listened to him and done IVF back then. Ironically, I thought IVF was too much of a financial gamble and thought adoption was the "sure thing" although the timing would be more unknown. Well I was wrong. Over a span of 5 years we spent "only" about $11K on ttc of which about $9K was for the IVF + FET and that $9K investment has had a much happier ending than the over $23K we've spent on adoption over the past 3 years (of which about half was for Lifetime and the rest for Ukraine and Adoption Consultants). The smallest amount was for Mark Miller (about $330), and ironically it felt like we got the closest we ever got with adoption through him last month (although we have no way of knowing if any of the women Lifetime or Cathy have sent our profile were still considering us once they had narrowed down the pool).

Anyhow I plan on lifting the password requirement from my blog in the next few days now that our journey with Lifetime is over it seems. As for Cathy, I don't plan to tell her we are pregnant until a month or so - once we're in the 2nd trimester. Part of the reason for deciding to tell her then is our home study will expire on February 7, and I don't want to redo it right now. At that point we will have been under contract with her for 7 months of our 30 month contract. That means we can freeze our contract for up to 23 months and then start up again and have 23 months left. I don't think we'd keep it frozen that long, but I have no idea how long she recommends you wait before you start being presented again. I am doubting she would recommend being shown to birthmothers when our little one is only a few months old. I have to say I still would be thrilled if we got matched in the really near future. I still wouldn't mind adopting our first baby and then giving birth in July, but that seems unlikely given how hard the adoption path has been for us the past 3 years. I definitely do not view IVF as the financially riskier option any more that is for sure! For us, adoption has been far more of a financial loss than ttc.

Rough Morning

Last night I went with a friend to the Christmas candlelight service at another university (actually where Paul is a student). Their handbell choir is excellent, so members of my church's handbell choir like to go to this concert every year. I enjoyed the first part of the concert, but then my stomach got upset as I had gone too many hours w/o eating and also I just become utterly exhausted. By the time I drove home it was 10pm, and I figured it would be tough getting up at 6:15 this morning even though I went STRAIGHT to bed after eating 1/2 of a granola bar. This is the first morning since I can't remember when that my alarm woke me up. Usually I wake up LONG before the alarm goes off and turn it off. When the alarm went off it felt to me like it was still the middle of the night. Unfortunately this morning was also rough in terms of morning sickness. I thought I might actually throw up during my 8:00 class. I had to stop a few times, and I felt so awful I admit I felt like bursting into tears. When I am naseous I don't like to talk but teaching usually requires at least some talking! Thankfully I had planned to show a video during the second half of class or I don't think I would have made it. After sitting during the video and eating some more, I did have an easier time during the 9:00 class except for the fact a student sitting near me was drinking coffee and the smell of coffee set my stomach off again. I feel like I need to steer clear of anyone who is eating or drinking anything that smells when I am also not eating as that seems to be what makes my stomach turn the most. What I kept reminding myself is that I am only teaching ONE more morning (Friday) so the worst is almost over! I am giving an exam at 8:00 next week, but that will be much easier I am sure. The other thing I keep reminding myself is the very happy reason why I am feeling so icky. I told Paul that emotionally the morning sickness actually has a positive effect as it reassures me baby is doing fine, but physically it's not so fun especially when I'm trying to teach.

One more week

Only 7 more days til the next ultrasound! I think we should be able to see AND hear the heartbeat at this next appointment (whereas we only saw it the last time). I can't wait. I am glad I didn't get transferred to an OB/GYN yet as the visits wouldn't be this frequent! It was funny because at our first u/s I didn't bring my wallet with me. This clinic always has us prepay for a cycle, and the copays are deducted from that. Well this was the first visit coded as pregnancy not fertility (well actually the previous 2 Betas were as well but there's no co-pay for b/w), so the receptionist asked for $10, and I was so surprised, LOL. Thankfully Paul had his wallet with him so he paid the bill. I will remember in the future to have $10 with me! And it's WELL worth $10 for peace of mind. This is the longest we've gone so far in between appointments. The longest before that was 1 week. But it's good to start making the gaps longer or I'd be in serious shock once I started seeing an OB.

I've figured out (I think) that it's not so much WHAT Paul is eating but just if he is eating anything that smells at all while I am not eating, it makes me very nauseous. Last night and this morning it was an English muffin. And I've been eating those myself so it's not that eating one makes me sick. It's just smelling food when I am not eating that makes me feel ill. So it wasn't the pizza in particular last week. :-) Well I am behind in grading papers and the semester is ending soon, so I had better get back to grading!

Afternoon nap

Well normally on Mondays and Wednesdays I stay at work for 12+ hours, but I didn't have any appointments or meetings this afternoon so I decided to come home for a nap as I was really, really tired. I slept for two hours! I could have slept more, LOL! I also was FREEZING at work. I didn't take my coat off while teaching, and my office was even colder. So I also have changed into a warmer outfit and am bringing a space heater in for my office. I'll be heading back in about 45 minutes. I feel much better after the nap. It was a fun but hectic weekend, and I didn't sleep as much over the weekend as I have been sleeping lately so I think it hit me this morning. There are only TWO more days of teaching in the morning as the semester ends on Friday! I am assuming mornings will be better for me in the spring semester (will be in the 2nd trimester by the time it starts) plus I am teaching in the afternoons in the spring rather than the mornings. So this time of teaching at 8am while pg is almost over. YAHOO! Only 8 more days til we see our little one. I admit sometimes I feel impatient and want more b/w or an u/s before then just to make sure everything is okay, but I keep reminding myself that at least 90% of pgcies are successful after seeing a h/b plus it just means I pray more for our baby which isn't a bad thing! I am happy to also add that I ate a brownie today and didn't get heartburn! So I guess I can eat chocolate now and then and not suffer for doing so. :-)

One month

Well, our little one has been back within me for exactly one month now as the transfer was Nov. 1. Ironically, the retrieval was Aug. 1 so he/she spent exactly 3 months outside of me (left as an egg and came back as an embryo). Only 10 more days until we get to see our little one again!

I Love Lucy

Do you remember the "I Love Lucy" episode in which Ricky starts having sort of sympathy pains while Lucy was pg? Well actually I think it was a case of he was feeling ignored and needed more attention, but his "illness" was related to Lucy's pgcy. Well Paul has had the same thing this week, LOL! I teased him about having sympathy pains, and he agreed it did seem like that was happening as he's also been complaining of feeling nauseous. Well in that Lucy episode she starts having cravings for hot fudge sundaes with sardines. YUCK! I am sure I'll never have a craving for sardines. We shall see if I ever get cravings if Paul then has them also, LOL. Actually I DID have a craving for a hot fudge sundae yesterday. I stopped for one at McD's on the one way home, and I didn't get nauseous or have heartburn afterwards. Hmmm maybe I was too quick to say NO chocolate??? I had lunch with a friend yesterday and had split pea & ham soup which definitely hit the spot. The smell of pizza is still very sickening though. So it's just a case of live and learn to find out what foods taste and smell okay and don't cause either nausea or heartburn. And the most important thing is to eat MANY times a day. Well I'd better go get ready for our choir dress rehearsal although with the weather forecast I am not sure if we'll actually be having our cantata tomorrow morning after all as they're calling for snow tonight and ice tomorrow morning. I hope they're wrong as my mom was going to come up and Yvonne, Joe, and the kids were also going to come tomorrow morning as well for a brief visit. I am so happy to be 7 weeks pg. I'm more than 1/2 way through the first trimester! Well Dr. A says I hit 7 weeks tomorrow, and I think I hit it yesterday. Not a big difference really. :-)

St. Thomas it is!

Well after researching so many options we made reservations from Dec 29-Jan 5 in St. Thomas (USVI). We will also visit St. Croix and St. John during that trip. It seems the airfare is less if we add on a couple of days so we might make it a 10 day trip and come back on Jan 7. Paul's bday is Jan 3; this will be his first bday spent off the continental USA (although still within the USA technically). Yesterday I spent all my time researching cruises, and I had it narrowed down to three choices. I was leaning towards a Royal Caribbean cruise that left from Puerto Rico, but when Paul heard about the dress code for RCI cruises he was not interested in that! The idea of getting dressed up for dinner doesn't appeal to him at all! He's definitely a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. The Norwegian cruise would have been better for him as you can get away with khaki type pants and a collared knit shirt for all dinners on their "freestyle" cruises, but by last night their cheaper rooms were all booked up. Plus yesterday I almost threw up at the smell of Paul's pizza as he ate dinner. So I thought a cruise at the end of the 1st trimester might not be a good idea if my morning sickness is still here. And we can't wait later to go on a cruise as then school starts back up for both of us. So this morning I did more research into non-cruise options and narrowed it down to Puerto Rico (a different resort than the one that had been available the last week or so) or St. Thomas and we chose St. Thomas. Now the fun begins of planning the details of the trip! We paid $139 for seven nights at the resort this morning, and then at the end of our stay we'll have to pay a $126 "energy surcharge" to the resort. But I still say $265 for 7 nights isn't bad. The airfare is a lot more to St. Thomas than Puerto Rico (twice as much). That was a big "plus" in favor of going to PR, but we didn't go on any vacation in 2007 so we can afford to pay a little more for airfare for our 2008 vacation.

I have been going to bed between 8-8:30 lately. Two nights ago I slept 10 hours! I didn't sleep as soundly last night so I will try to stay up later tonight. I am definitely lacking in energy even with all this sleep! As far as eating goes, I lost 4 lbs from week 4 to week 5 but since then have maintained my weight which is my goal at this point (not to gain or lose weight). I am learning what I should avoid. Chocolate is a definite no no as it leads to heartburn right away. And really I am learning to avoid sweets altogether which is hard for me! Yesterday I was doing pretty well in terms of nausea and heartburn until after I ate dinner I had a handful of marshmallows (left over from making sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving) and immediately the nausea hit and didn't go away for awhile. I threw the rest of the bag away to remove the temptation! Totally not worth it! I have started eating 2 yogurts a day instead of my usual 1 to increase my protein intake since I rarely eat meat. My second dairy product each day used to be ice cream, but I've only had ice cream twice in the last 3 weeks. Of course yogurt is healthier than ice cream!

Today is the second day of no shots since Sept 27. Tomorrow I'll have one shot of estrogen. My butt is appreciating the reprieve and the nausea is reassuring me that baby is doing okay even though I'm only on suppositories now. Of course I keep praying for this little one many times a day, and I am sooo appreciative of all the other people who have also told me they're praying for this little one. This little child just has NO idea how many people are out there interceding on his/her behalf many times a day. Wow. It's hard to express my gratitude appropriately.

No shots today!

I started the daily injections for this FET on September 28 so that means I had at least one shot a day for two months (total of 103 shots). It felt so weird not to have an injection this morning, LOL! I would appreciate prayer about the progesterone level though. I need to trust the RE knows what he is doing, but I admit I would be less nervous if I was still on the PIO injections. The suppositories contain the same amount of progesterone (50mg); so I guess I shouldn't be nervous. Just means I am praying for baby even more today!!!

Now that we are not going to pay for another ivf/fet, we are planning on going on a vacation in early January!!! The first 5 years we were married, we went on 1-2 vacations a year (all happened to be outside of the USA). We didn't go on any this year due to the cost of IVF and adoption. Of course a vacation costs FAR, FAR less than a round of IVF, but it's just that was one thing we had to cut out to be able to afford it. So, it's very exciting to start to make plans for a vacation as we are in withdrawal as our last one was in the summer of 2006 to Aruba. Even Paul had been saying the last few months that we need to get back to the beach. :-)

Today's ultrasound!

The dark circle near the top left side of the photo is the gestational sac (filled with amniotic fluid). The little X's are marking the two ends of the baby (crown to rump as they say!). It was such a precious sight to watch that little heart beat away!!! The yolk sac was seen below the embryo on the screen, but is too small to be seen in this photo.

What a beautiful sight!!!

We saw our little baby's beating heart!!! What a precious sight it was!!! Our baby from crown to rump measured today at 4.9mm which dates the baby at 6w1d which is perfectly fine (as this method of dating is usually within 1 week accurate). Dr. Awad said I am 6w2d today which perplexes me as I think I'm 6w4d. He said my EDD is 7/22 and the u/s said it is 7/21 and the calculators online tell me it's 7/18. Well baby is going to come when baby wants to come. I figure I'll discuss it with the OB once I am referred to one, but a day or two in either direction doesn't really mean much. I asked him what the heart rate was and he just said it was good. I know that certain #'s are better than others so I was hoping he'd tell me it's 115 or whatever, but I asked him a couple of times and he never gave me a #. He printed out 5 pics. He said 3 were for us and one for each set of grandparents. :-) Everyone was SO happy for us. What a miracle!!! I am still in awe that our one little frozen embryo is still alive and growing. YAHOOO!

He said I need to continue the EV injections (which are twice a week), but starting this evening I can switch to progesterone suppositories instead of PIO injections. I asked him if these are just as good for the baby and he said yes. He said he was trying to give my backside a break which of course I appreciate, but I said if it would be better for baby if I continue the injections I would gladly do so. He said the suppositories will be just as good (twice a day). I am not sure how long I will continue the EV or the suppositories, but I will definitely be on them for at least 2 more weeks as that's when my next u/s will be. So shot #104 won't occur until Friday. After the u/s I went to the pharmacy and got the suppositories and only 20 more needles. I probably don't even really need 20 more. I figured I probably needed 10 more. The RX was for 100 more, and I told the pharmacist please don't give me 100 more! So she suggested 20 more. I will post a picture on the site later of the glorious little heartbeat but it doesn't show up as well on a picture than it did on the screen in motion. Dr. A encouraged Paul to also come to the next appointment as he said we will be amazed at how much the baby will grow in these two weeks. So thanks for your prayers!! They are being answered!! I am still in shock that after ttc over 5 years I am finally pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling icky

Well I have really tried to "chill out" the last couple of days. Saturday I was on the couch most of the day, and Sunday I was on the couch except for when I was at church in the morning and at choir rehearsal in the evening. Choir practice was a challenge. First of all there are VERY bright lights that shine down into the loft. I had a turtleneck & sweater on. I quickly left and shed the turtleneck, but at our dress rehearsal on Saturday I plan to wear a t-shirt as I was still dying. I sat through all the rehearsal except for when playing the flute. I still get cramps if I stand too much. Saturday night I went to bed at 8pm and slept for almost 10 hours, and I stayed in bed for almost 11 hours. Last night I just got 8 hours of sleep. The nausea seems to come and go. Some days I barely have any at all, some days just for part of the day, and some days are rough. Today (so far anyhow) is one of those bad days when I have heartburn, nausea, and a fever. I think it's not just morning sickness. I think I'm fighting a bug of some sort which isn't shocking since my sister's kids were rather sick last week with fevers and respiratory bugs. I just took 2 Tylenol and I hope it helps. I have a meeting at 3:30pm in which I am secretary (take notes on a laptop), and then I teach at 5pm. I have a feeling I might be letting that class out a little early as right now I just want to be in bed or at least curled up with a blanket on the couch. Well maybe I'll perk up before then. I feel like I've eaten enough crackers today to last a lifetime, LOL.

The happiest thought right now is that in less than 20 hours we will be seeing our little one (or little ones if the 3 who voted for twins are correct) on the ultrasound!!! I have had probably at least 75 ultrasounds in the last 5 years, and this should be the happiest one! I am stopping to see a friend on the way home from the ultrasound and also need to stop at the bank & Post Office so you'll have to wait a little bit for my results to be posted tomorrow. I promise though to post them as soon as I get home! ;-)

Shots #98-99

Today I will have shots #98-99 (just counting the ones for this FET). By the time I see the RE on Tuesday morning I'll have had 103 shots (the 104th will be that evening). He will give us instructions that day as far as how long the shots will continue and when I might be able to switch to suppositories. Normally when you ovulate the follicle after it releases the egg becomes the corpus luteum (hence luteal phase) which produces progesterone until either your body figures out you are not pregnant OR until the placenta is developed if you are pg. Also, the follicles produce estrogen while they are growing. With the fresh cycle in August, I didn't need t be on EV shots because my estrogen was very high (almost too high) because I had 30+ follicles growing. However I did need to be on progesterone because the follicles didn't go through the usual ovulation process as the eggs were retrieved by a needle. This time there weren't ANY follicles involved as my ovaries were put into a "menopause." So that's why I need both the EV and PIO injections because there isn't a corpus luteum involved to produce progesterone. So I need supplementation of some sort until the placenta is well developed (around the end of the 1st trimester).

Did you know that our baby's little heart began beating on November 17? Today is day #9 of cardiac contractions for our little one (or little ones if the twin theory is accurate). And on Wednesday (4 days ago) the limb buds began forming. Well the milestone I am looking forward to is seeing the little heartbeat or heartbeats!! Only two more days til that happy moment!!!!

It certainly shot up!

Paul & I can view our medical records online. One feature is you can see graphs (line or bar) of information like your weight, b/p, etc. Well I did a graph this morning of the last 10 times my hCG levels were measured. The first five are during the m/c in July 2005 and then the next two are from a failed inj/iui and the fresh ivf this summer. The last three are from this FET. :-) The number sure spiked up from Beta #2 to #3!! Happy Thanksgiving Day everyone!

Need to eat more!

Well I started weighing myself, and I lost 3-4 pounds over the course of one week. So I need to eat more! That shouldn't be hard this week as we're having Thanksgiving dinner with Paul's family at noon tomorrow and then at my house on Friday with my family. Tonight we're going to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate Jenna's birthday. She turns 5 tomorrow! I also have to say the exhaustion has really hit me. I took a couple hour nap this afternoon and still feel like I have no energy. In just two days I'll be 6 weeks pg. YAHOOOO! I can't wait til we see the u/s - less than 6 days now!!!

Baby still doing well!!!

The nurse called about 1pm as we were driving to MD with the very happy news that my hCG is now 4,592! WAHOOOOOOO! That is a doubling time of only 40.73 hours!!!! WOW! Usually the rate of doubling slows down, but it actually sped up! PTL!!!!! The ultrasound has been scheduled for 8am on Tuesday!!! I can't wait to see our little baby's heartbeat!!!! What a very happy Thanksgiving!!!!

hCG level info

I truly wish I was having an u/s today where you get an instant result rather than b/w. The other women on the ivf db only had two Betas and then the next week had an u/s. Well anyhow as I was searching for more hCG info I found a chart (I deleted some lines). First I find it interesting that at 14dpo it says the average is 48 in light of in 2005 they told me 100iu was what they look for at 14dpo. Anyhow my first Beta this time was at 17dpo and my repeat was 19dpo and my hCG was above the average in both cases. The chart only went to 24DPO and today I am 25DPO. However based on what they say for 24DPO it seems I want my hCG to be over 3,000? Well if it's even around 2,600 I think it will be fine.

*At 14 DPO, the average HCG level is 48 mIU/ml, with a typical range of 17-119 mIU/ml.
* At 17 DPO, the average HCG level is 132 mIU/ml, with a typical range of 17-429 mIU/ml.
* At 19 DPO, the average HCG level is 303 mIU/ml, with a typical range of 111-514 mIU/ml.
* At 24 DPO, the average HCG level is 2637 mIU/ml, with a typical range of 540-10,000 mIU/ml.

I didn't have much nausea at all yesterday just HUNGER. I did not bring enough food to work for lunch and dinner. Thankfully a friend of mine (a janitor) gave me some more food before my 5pm class as after I ate my oatmeal my stomach was literally still growling. I didn't have any cramping during the day until that 5pm class. By the time I got home the pain had increased more than on Sunday, but if I stayed in a seated position I was fine. I hope and pray this is just my uterus growing. I feel fine so far this morning except for being annoyed that I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't go back to sleep because yep my stomach was growling. I had even eaten some fruit before I went to bed to try to tide me over, and normally I don't eat anything that late at night. I feel tempted to ask for an u/s today, but if I had one then I couldn't make my 9:45 mtg in Harrisburg. I need to leave at 7am for my b/w and come right back home (RT plus the b/w will take about 1 hour) and then Paul and I will get in the car and drive to my mtg. He'll do some studying while I'm in the mtg and then at lunch time I'm going to leave the mtg early so we can drive to MD so I can see my sister, bil, and the KIDS!!!! I'll post my hCG results from their house this afternoon. Hoping and praying for HAPPY news to report.

5w3d pg

Well I got 8 hours of sleep last night for which I am grateful (although I was hoping for 9). I didn't go to choir practice last night at church as #1 the roads weren't that great due to the snow we got all day yesterday (and I am a HUGE chicken when it comes to driving on snowy or icy roads) and #2 the cramping made me think it was best just to camp out on the couch all day and take it easy. Last night I used my last hpt. At church people were asking when I had been checked last and I said Wednesday (last Beta) and they seemed surprised there was such a gap until my next appointment. Their nervousness increased mine, LOL! So I decided to POAS last night instead of waiting until the morning as then it would have interfered with my sleep. Well the test line popped up RIGHT away and in comparison the control line is rather faint. The difference between the two is even more than the previous hpt (which was last Tuesday). So that helped me feel reassured that our little one is doing okay. I know I am not alone in hpting after pgcy has already been confirmed since Ceci admitted to doing one after an ultrasound, LOL! I am hoping tomorrow's hcg will be at least 2,000 and of course higher than that would be fine with me! :-) I don't own any more hpts and do NOT plan on buying any more so this should be my last hpt photo. I am hoping in 8 days to be able to post my first u/s photo instead!!

Whose baby is it?

Well it was a great delight to go to church today and see all the joy on so many people's faces over our happy news (which they already knew about). I almost laughed when one lady in choir said that the choir feels like this is THEIR baby since they have been praying so much for this little one. The reason I almost laughed is I am quite certain the handbell choir feels the same way that this is THEIR baby as do the ladies in my Tuesday morning ladies Bible study group. Truly though I am in awe. So many have told me that they pray for our little baby many times a day. I just don't ever recall a time in my life when I knew that so many people were praying for me so many times a day. It's hard to express how grateful I am. I just can't wait for the day when I can place this little one in the arms of each of these who have prayed so diligently. I had never told so many about a fertility treatment, and I was definitely nervous about having to tell so many if we lost #7 also. In addition to many smiles and hugs and words of congratulation, I had tons of people making sure I am taking it easy. I was told not to cook the turkey dinner for example. :-)

I am having a lot of cramping. My first reaction is to be nervous, but then I remind myself I am supposed to feel cramping as my uterus is supposed to be growing right now. It's definitely hard for me to go 5 days without a pregnancy test (Beta or hpt) or an ultrasound. The fact that I keep waking up so early though is proof I am pregnant. I only got 6 hours of sleep again last night as I got up at 4:30am. I get so hungry and thirsty I just have to get up to eat and drink. I was tired but couldn't go back to sleep. I hope baby lets me sleep in til 6:00 tomorrow morning!

Good night's sleep!

I was exhausted yesterday. It was a long week. I had Tuesday off, but Thursday was a very long day as I drove for 4 1/2 hours (RT) for meetings. It was a 10 hour work day which was tough because Mon and Wed are always 12 hour work days but actually they were a bit longer than usual with a trip to the RE for b/w thrown in prior to my work day. Fridays vary; sometimes they are just a half-day, but this week it was again a full-day (10 hours). The good news is the worst is over! This coming week I'm only working 1 1/2 days due to Thanksgiving and I don't think I'll have any other really long work weeks between now and when the semester ends. Anyhow I could barely keep my eyes open last night at 6pm. I managed to stay up until 7pm, but then I went to bed for the night hoping for at least 10 hours of sleep. Well I got it! I slept soundly for 9 hours (til 4am) and then stayed in bed for 2 more hours and did get some sleep in there although I was waking up about every 10 minutes. But still I was at least resting in bed for 11 hours, and I'd estimate I slept for close to 10 of those. Sleep does a body good!!!

5 weeks today!!!

I know there are many weeks to go, but I am celebrating that we have made it this far! I am thankful for the nausea as otherwise I'd likely keeping taking hpts for proof I am still pg. Yet the nausea is manageable unlike the stomach flu last Sun/Mon. :-) I weighed myself so I can start tracking my weight. I had gained about 5 pounds over the last 3 months as I haven't exercised that much since I stopped during the ivf in August. Since I'm a little overweight (BMI is 26 and it's supposed to be 24.9 or lower if you don't want to be labeled "overweight"), my goal (after doing some reading) is not to gain more than 20 pounds during the pregnancy. Additionally, I am hoping not to gain any during the first trimester so I want to keep weighing myself to make sure I'm neither gaining nor losing weight. Sharon (a colleague at work) is treating me to lunch today at LaFontana (Italian restaurant). I am hoping it sits well and doesn't lead to heartburn. :-) I am looking forward to celebrating our happy news with her! Paul is having a harder and harder time finding a place to stab me that isn't already bruised. I must say I am back to being aware of my backside all day long and it wakes me up at night sometimes when I get in a position that puts more pressure on the bruises. But if our baby needs these shots then it's worth a black & blue butt!

China in May???

I had been planning to teach an early childhood course in Beijing from May 6-22, 2008. At first when I found out I was pg I thought I'd still do it because I wouldn't be at the stage where some airlines don't allow you to fly (for fear you'll go into labor), but now we are rethinking if this is a wise thing to do or not. Phil, the director, is one of those raising concerns so I know he won't be upset at me if I need to back out of my plans. Any thoughts?

Irony

It just hit me that today was SUPPOSED to be the day of my first Beta when in fact it's the first day in 7 days that I haven't done a HPT or a Beta, LOL! I do have one hpt left, but I don't plan to use it as I don't think the test line can be any darker than it was on Tuesday. :-)

Up too early!

Well baby isn't letting Mommy get a full night's sleep. Is this preparation for after he/she is born? LOL! Yesterday I slept from 10:30-4:30 and attributed it to #1 not eating enough on Tuesday and #2 nervousness about the repeat Beta. Last night I slept from 9:00-3:30 and rested in bed til 4:00. That's still just TOO early! I woke up at 11:30 with heartburn. I wasn't sure exactly what it was, but when I described it to Paul he said it was heartburn (which he gets frequently but I don't ever recall having). He got me two Tums and that helped a lot. I think it was from the cheese curls (chips) I ate last night. I never eat them (Paul loves them) and when he was eating some last night I thought - hmm that sounds good. Well I'm going back to never eating them as they didn't sit well at all! Pretzels don't wake me up and put in me pain.

Tomorrow I hit the 5 week mark! Pretty soon it will be only 8 more months. :-) I think if I had an u/s this Saturday my gestational sac would be visible (based on where I think my hCG will be that day). I am thinking my hCG next Tuesday (next Beta) will be over 2,000. And I am hoping my first u/s will be 10/27 at 6w4d pg.


Here's what's going on in the fifth week of pgcy: "The baby is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues. The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel. His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous tissue. The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job."

Clarification

I called the baby "Baby Kennedy" as Kennedy is our last name so nope we will NOT use that as a first name! If the baby is a boy his name will be "Ian Alexander Kennedy" and if the baby is a girl then we still have some work to do with picking a name. I do NOT want to be surprised about the gender at birth. I'd like to know by u/s if possible (hopefully baby will cooperate). So until we find out the gender, baby doesn't have a first name - only a last name! :-)

IT'S DOUBLED!!!!!!!!!!!

Yahooooooooooooo! PTL!!!!!!!!!!! So far so good!!!!!!!!!!! Beta was 187 on Monday and 396 today which is a doubling time of 44.34 hours and they like to see a doubling time between 48-72 hours so that is GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bummer news is that Dr. Murphy (the RE who is new to this practice) makes patients wait much longer for an u/s than Dr. Wittmaack did. I had an u/s at 5w0d back in 2005. Not going to happen this time! He wants me to have one more Beta. They wanted it in one week (next Wed), but I said I'd be in MD for Thanksgiving. So she said I can come in next Tuesday (20th). Then based on where my hCG is at next Tuesday they will pick a date the following week for my ultrasound. So the bad news is I can't have an u/s at the stage where only the sac is showing to prove baby is in my uterus, but the good news is at the first u/s we should already be able to see the baby's heartbeat. She said once they see the h/b they will refer me to an OB/GYN and tell me when to stop the EV and PIO or maybe if it's okay to switch to suppositories or something prior to the end of the first trimester. I had hoped today was the last day of anxiously waiting for the phone to ring (as I thought today would be the last Beta as long as it was good) but I guess I get to be nervous one more time (as we drive to MD next Tuesday afternoon). I expressed my fear about another ectopic and she said Dr. Murphy doesn't feel these #s are indicative of another ectopic so there is no need to have an u/s sooner. I guess I can wait 2 weeks. :-) I am getting good at waiting since I've waited 5 years to become pg with what seems so far to be a viable pgcy! What a miracle!!!!!!!!! Please keep praying for Baby Kennedy!!!!!!!!!!!

Suspense is killing me!!!

Usually the nurse calls around 1:30pm, but since she called at 11:45am on Monday I got my hopes up for another early call. :-) I have been waiting for my cell phone to ring plus hitting refresh on my online medical record every few minutes. I'm not able to get much work done right now. Thankfully I was teaching from 8:00-10:50 so it's just been the last two hours that have been nerve wracking. It was MUCH easier to teach today. I woke up really early (4:30) and couldn't go back to sleep bc I was hungry. I must not have eaten enough yesterday as that was only 6 hours of sleep and I prefer 8-9. I was a bit queasy from when I got up until I'd say about 9:00ish. Somewhere in my second class I started to feel pretty normal and stopped snacking. I munched throughout the morning on pretzels and graham crackers (plus had an English muffin at 4:30 and a yogurt at 6:00). When I buy yogurt the next time I won't buy the "lite" kind as I am going to try to avoid artificial sweetners while pg except for in chewing gum. The main things I eat with artificial sweetners are one yogurt each morning (it cuts the calories in 1/2), fruit flavored water at work that has zero calories (I'll just go back to plain water), and no sugar added ice cream for dessert with dinner (if I start to want ice cream again I'll just buy regular Klondike bars rather than the "Slim a Bear" kind). I don't think there's anything else in my diet that's taboo while pg as I have never been a coffee drinker nor do I eat fish (worries of the mercury level with some fish).

Baby aspirin

I keep wondering why my RE doesn't encourage all patients to take baby aspirin. The first time I took it was the inj/iui cycle I got the bfp in 2005. I forgot to take it with the ivf this summer, but I have been taking it for this FET (81mg a day).

Here's something I read about baby aspirin today (written by an RE):

"In a randomized, double-blind placebo-controlled study, 149 patients went through IVF cycles, with the only difference being the use of a single 100 mg aspirin (not available in the U. S.) a day in one group and placebo in the other. Patients in the aspirin group did much better than those on the placebo. Statistically, they had better numbers of eggs, higher estrogen levels, more uterine and ovarian blood flow, and almost double the implantation and pregnancy rates of the placebo group.

The authors concluded that one baby aspirin a day seems to be a useful and safe treatment for women who undergo assisted reproductive procedures. At Reproductive Partners, on the basis of early reports, we began recommending in early 1998 that all of our IVF patients routinely take baby (81 mg.) aspirin. At present there is no evidence to suggest that this recommendation should be extended to women trying to conceive without assistance, or using conventional fertility treatments."

This same RE said "In general, we look at one hCG level 16 days after retrieval and want it to be at least 100. We don't do more hCGs in that case. If the level is below 100, we repeat it in 4 days and if it does not double or go up at least 66.7% every two days, we feel that the prognosis is guarded." My hCG was done at the equivalent of 17 days after retrieval and was closer to 200 than 100 so I feel very encouraged. :-)

Shots #70-72

This morning I had shots #70-71 and will have #72 tonight. I have 2 a day 5 days a week and 3 a day on Tuesdays and Fridays. Let me tell you the shots are SOOOO much easier to take when I know they're not in vain. Although I look forward to the day when I can stop them, I would gladly do them the whole pgcy if my baby needed them! Now if we include the 59 shots I had this summer for the fresh cycle (which produced this embryo), I've had 131 shots for baby bean so far! But it will all be SOOOO worth it if we get to hold this little one in our arms this summer!!!!

Ginger Tea

Tea is soooo much better than soda. I have always really disliked carbonated drinks. They make me burp for one thing! I am still nauseous today but it's just like the m/s I had in 2005. If I just keep munching on crackers or pretzels I am fine. Paul was relieved I slept much better (as my lack of sleep also caused him not to get much either). I am relieved to know I won't be THAT sick during the first trimester. I can handle this level of morning sickness much better than what I thought was m/s but was really the flu. One thing that's different than 2005 is during that brief pgcy I really craved cereal. I was living off of it! It sounds revolting to me now. But at least my English muffin didn't sound revolting this morning whereas it sounded revolting yesterday. The one thing that cracks me up the most is I have NO desire for ice cream! I might break a record for how many days (or weeks?) I go without eating ice cream considering I usually have some EVERY day. Funny how a little tiny baby can change our food preferences! Paul was concerned about me mainly only eating crackers and pretzels, but I told him it's quite alright. The baby will get what he/she needs even if that's mainly what I eat for a few weeks. Paul doesn't have any signs of the flu so hopefully I didn't pass it on to him, and hopefully the four Benners are also starting to feel better as I am today.

I checked my calendar from 2005 and my first u/s with that pgcy was at 5w0d which is where I'll be this Friday. So who knows, maybe I'll have my first u/s THIS week??? I am sure they'll tell me tomorrow. Paul is stopping to pick up more PIO today at the RE's office (there's no RX for it - they just give it to me directly). I also want to ask when I get switched to an OB/GYN. I think maybe at 10 weeks? I'll ask tomorrow about that also.

Paul's next project (for me) is to massage away the lumps of medicine. I forgot to massage the injection sites while I was in Chicago. I am used to Paul doing this for me. :-) The lumps are on both sides and much bigger than before. He said the one almost feels like a bone it's so hard (but it's a lump of medicine). Sitting has been more painful lately so although the process of getting rid of the lump is painful, it's worth it in the long run!

Guess which line is darker???

The TEST line is now darker than the control line. WAHOOOO! It popped up first and is the darker line!!! It's now a toss-up to me which is the hpt that made me the happiest - the first one (Friday) or today's. YAHOOOOO!

I definitely had the flu yesterday. I should have stayed home! My students in my 5pm class said I looked awful. I was shaking my fever was so high. I let them out at 6:30 instead of 7:30 and all I did when I got home was take 3 Tylenol and write a note to Paul asking him to wake me up for my shot. I was in bed by about 6:50 and aside from him asking me to roll over for the shot I didn't wake up until 5:00am (and normally I pee a few times during the night). So I got 10 hours of sleep and woke up cool as a cucumber. I ate my normal breakfast (English muffin plus a yogurt) and I feel a little queasy - but just what is normal morning sickness for me (like in 2005) not like Sunday/Monday when I had the stomach flu. It's a relief to know morning sickness isn't THAT awful. But if my morning sickness ever gets worse I am prepared. Paul even stopped on his way home from school yesterday and bought me some ginger tea as that had been suggested and I don't like carbonated drinks so I would rather that than Ginger Ale. Part of the reason I tested this morning was I was worried maybe a fever is bad for baby, but baby seems to be doing just fine and dandy. I pray for little bean many times a day and am so thankful for all the others who are praying for him or her!!!

This little one survived being at -196°C for almost 3 months and then going through the thawing process and has hatched and implanted. So the next two big hurdles are #1 tomorrow that the hCG is going up properly (I think it is based on the hpts!) and #2 that the ultrasounds show he/she has implanted in my uterus (not another ectopic).

In terms of what can be seen by u/s, the gestational sac can be seen when the hCG is at least 1,000, the yolk sac at 2,500, the fetal pole at 5,000, and the heartbeat at 10,000.

For HCG levels <1200 mIU/ml, the expected doubling time is 48-72 hours.
For HCG levels 1200 to 6000 mIU/ml, the expected doubling time is 72-96 hours.
For HCG levels >6000 mIU/ml, the expected doubling time is >96 hours.

HCG levels peak at about eight to 10 weeks of pregnancy and then decline, remaining at lower levels for the rest of the pregnancy.

So if my levels doubled at the rates listed above (every 2 days and then every 3 days and then every 4 days) it would mean the gestational sac could be seen as early as this Saturday, the yolk sac by next Tuesday (11/20), the fetal pole by next Friday (11/23), and the hearbeat in 2 weeks (11/27). Of course sometimes hCG goes up faster than this. I have had friends who saw a h/b at exactly 5 weeks (which I will be this Friday). So maybe I'll get to see a h/b next week. I should definitely see it by the end of the month though if baby bean hangs on tight!!!

This is going to be a VERY happy Thanksgiving!!! First I am finally pg after ttc over 5 years and second my sister who lives in Turkey is flying in next Monday to MD and we're driving down to see them next Tuesday. I haven't seen Yvonne, Jenna, and Drew for 18 months, Joe for almost 2 years, and haven't met Josh yet (born on St. Patrick's Day). What an awesome Thanksgiving this will be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Might be the flu

Wendy just told me that all 4 of them in Chicago have been throwing up. So this might not be morning sickness. I guess I could have taken today off then! I kept telling Paul last night I didn't think I could teach today, but I thought if it was m/s that I can't very well take off for that as I might have m/s the rest of the semester (4 weeks including this week). Plus I had cancelled class last week Wed/Fri due to the conference so I felt I needed to come in today. The good news is that hopefully I won't feel THIS sick for another 10 weeks or so. We shall see. I guess there's no way to tell thus far whether it's m/s or the flu or a combination of the two. I'm going to take it easy tomorrow except for one mtg at school at 2pm although if I am still feeling sick I might just tell them I have the flu and not go (since I very well might!).

Beta is in

It is 187.8 today which the nurse said is good. I was of course hoping it would be a little higher, but she didn't seem concerned at all. When they called me in June 2005 to tell me my hcg was 11.8 at 12dpo they were definitely concerned. Of course they wanted to do my Beta on Thursday so I am sure today they were expecting a lower number than what they'd be expecting on Thursday since I went 3 days early from when they usually do a Beta after a FET. So the goal for Wednesday's Beta is 374 although I remember being told in 2005 as long as it went up 66% in 48 hours that was okay so that would mean we need it to be at least 310.

I just read one article from the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology which said that their cut-off level for predicting a viable pregnancy whether after a fresh or frozen transfer is 76mIU at 12 days past transfer, and today I am 11 days past transfer.

Another site said, "At 17 DPO, avg HCG level is 132 mIU/ml, with a typical range of 17-429 mIU/ml." That puts me above average. YEAH!

As a point of comparison, the highest my hCG got in 2005 was 168.2 on July 5, and at 17dpo (which is what I think I am today) it was 48.3 so it's a lot higher than it was 2 years ago! So anyhow it seems so far so good and we'll just keep praying for this little bean to keep growing and be a VERY sticky BFP!

Little bean is making me very sick!

It's kind of amazing how a TINY little embryo can make one feel so awful! I got about 2-3 hours of sleep last night although I was in bed for about 10 hours (minus the time spent in the bathroom). Paul didn't get much sleep either. He says he's sleeping somewhere else tonight. :-( I can't blame him though. He went to the mini-mart about 5 minutes from home at 10pm and bought me 2 small bottles of ginger ale. They didn't have saltines. I had forgotten to suggest pretzels. He made me some popcorn but that did NOT work. At 2:30am he got me some yogurt and I ate 1/2 of it and that helped and then at 4:30am I ate the other half. Then at 6:00am he brought me up a small dish of oatmeal which seemed to go down fine as well. So I haven't actually thrown up again, but boy do I feel terrible! Plus I have a fever like I always get when I am sleep deprived and I only have ibuprofen here at work which is a no no during pgcy so I need to bring in some Tylenol instead. At 7:00am I stopped at the grocery store in town (which was closed when he went out last night) and got pretzels, animal crackers, 2 liters of ginger ale, and some other plain type crackers. The pretzels are working well so far. It's really hard to teach though. I kept my 8:00 class the whole period but let the 9:00 and 10:00 ones out early as I felt like I was going to keel over or puke in class. I am quite certain I won't be keeping my 5:00 class til 7:30 like I usually do. Now I think I'm going to lie down on the floor of my office and use my coat as a pillow and try to take a little nap until the nurse calls me with the beta # (probably about 1:30pm). Emotionally I am THRILLED to be pg but physically I feel horrible. I am taking the advice some have given me and am trying to just eat a little bit all throughout the day and so far so good in terms of not throwing up yet today. No more meals just lots of little snacks for me!

Definitely pg

To be honest, I am no longer very concerned about whether my HCG is going to be high enough tomorrow or not. I am almost positive it will be. I am now throwing up. I said to Paul earlier this nausea was way worse than it ever was in 2005. I tried to go to bed at 8pm as I was feeling exhausted, but I couldn't sleep as my stomach hurt too much. I just threw up a LOT and will not go into the details but my sweet hubby is up there cleaning up after me. I am grateful for the reassurance, but I don't need THIS strong of a symptom, LOL. So a new prayer request is that I don't puke too much tomorrow as I have to be at school for 12 hours and don't want to run out of class too often to throw up. The last time I had the stomach flu was 1996. The only other time I've thrown up since then was after the egg retrieval. I am not accustomed to this! Now I'm not sure if I should eat something right now or not??? Any tips and tricks you all can share with me about how to decrease my odds of continued vomiting are greatly appreciated!!! At least now maybe I'll be able to fall asleep as the pain is a lot less now that I've emptied my stomach. Sorry this is so gross of a post but I really could use some advice!

Nausea has set in!

Well I woke up this morning and had the familiar feeling from 2005 that I need to eat NOW. And Wendy makes the most delicious homemade granola so I had a delicous breakfast. :-) I haven't actually thrown up, but I've felt icky all day. In fact I just ate a bowl of cereal for dinner and it didn't help whereas eating breakfast and lunch caused the nausea to subside for awhile. When Michael dropped me off at Cheri's house (where my car had been parked), he said that he hoped I felt better soon, and I said nope I was hoping to still feel icky if it means my little one is dong well! I am still in awe. Periodically I would say to Michael as we flew to BWI and then drove to PA, "I am pg!" What a miracle that the FET worked even though we only transferred one embie. I am in awe!!! I am not going to hpt tomorrow since I'm having the Beta.

A little darker!

Well I used a FRER again and the line is definitely darker. YAHOO! I am not sure if the difference will show up on the computer screen, but it does when you're looking at the actual hpts. Also, I should add that Wendy and Drayton have both said that the other two hpts look darker in person than on the computer. They haven't seen this one yet as it's only 5:28am here. Pretty soon we're off to the airport to fly to BWI and then drive HOME!!!

Sinking in

Well it's finally sinking in that I am pg. Wow. I guess although I was really, really hoping this little one would hang on, I truly didn't expect it to. I am so so so so thankful this little embryo hatched and implated. What a miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to come home to my hubby tomorrow. Drayton and Wendy have been terrific about celebrating this happy news with me, but it's the kind of news I want to celebrate first with my hubby! Wendy went to CVS today and got me 3 FRER's so tomorrow I plan to test with my favorite brand of hpt - the one I used on Friday. Hopefully the line will be a little darker, but from what I've read, the main thing is that it's positive. HPTs are more qualitative (yes/no) than quantitative in nature. Thankfully I slept well last night (probably 9 hours); I didn't think I needed a nap this afternoon, but I am very tired now so I wish I had taken a nap this afternoon. Maybe this is my first pg symptom? Thanks for all your encouragement and prayers. It means the world to me!!!

Here's some info on what my hcg "should" be on Monday (day 17). Drayton said the info from below would mean my hcg should be about 270 on day 17 (he's a math guy).

"A total of 53 patients did not have a fetal heartbeat at the end of the first trimester. Their mean [beta]-HCG levels were 56 mIU/mL on day 16, and 115 mIU/mL on day 18, with an average slope of 24 mIU/mL.

Levels and slopes were much higher for the remaining 269 women with viable pregnancies with mean levels of 216 mIU/mL on day 16 and 505 mIU/mL on day 18, with an average slope of 140 mIU/mL.

Most of the women, 180, had singleton pregnancies. Their average [beta]-HCG levels were 169 mIU/mL on day 16 and 401 mIU/mL on day 18. The researchers noted that the average slope of 111 mIU/mL was 4.62 times higher than in the pregnancies that were not viable.

For the 89 women who had multiple births, average [beta]-HCG levels were 348 mIU/mL on day 16 and 798 mIU/mL on day 18. Their average slope, 220 mIU/mL, was reported as 9.16 times higher than the slope in patients who did not have a fetal heart beat at the end of the first trimester."

Still positive

Well I wish I had purchased 3 more FRER yesterday instead of 4 Fact Plus hpts. The Fact Plus ones were on sale. :-) Anyhow the test is still positive and that's the main thing! It took longer to turn positive (the FRER popped up immediately and the Fact Plus took a few minutes). The instructions say as long as it turns positive in less than 10 minutes the results are accurate and it took less than 10 minutes although it felt like forever. And the line is fainter than yesterday's, but these tests aren't as sensitive. I must say this morning I was thinking, let's go back to CVS and I'll get a pack of FRERs, but the main thing is the test is ++. I am pregnant. We can't really know the # from a hpt. I'll just have to wait for the Beta on Monday. Hope the little bean is hanging on tight in there! Susie calls the little bean my "tummy baby." :-) The way to read a Fact Plus is there is supposed to be a vertical line in the control (C) window and if you are pg a + sign in the result (R) window on the left. If you are not pg, there will be a horizontal line in the R window and a vertical line in the C window. So the important line is the vertical one in the R window and that's the faintest line. It does say in the instructions that it doesn't matter which line is darker in the R window but I wish the vertical one was darker than it is. But hopefully little bean is doing fine. I'll test again tomorrow and Monday and then have the Beta on Monday also. Hoping and praying my HCG is at least 250 on Monday!!!

Wait until Monday

We went to a lab near my sister's home this morning, but two things caused me not to have a Beta done. #1 the cost was $105, and #2 my RE clinic said they wouldn't do a repeat Beta if the first Beta wasn't done in their lab. So if I was going to have it done elsewhere then I'd need to have two done there, and I can't do that since I am flying back Sunday morning (plus I sure don't want to pay $210!). So instead we went to CVS and I bought 4 more hpts - a different brand that came to $20 including tax which is 9% here in IL. So I hope to keep seeing 2 lines every morning, and hopefully the line will get darker. I hope I sleep better tonight though! I slept fine until I poas at 2:50am (CST) and after I saw two lines I couldn't sleep a wink! I was on my laptop in bed plus leaving Paul a whole bunch of messages on our answering machine. He finally called me back about 7:00am (EST) and then I called my parents also with the VERY happy news. I am in a state of shock. I don't feel pg at all. I'm so used to only seeing one line. I have looked at the hpt a million times today just to be sure it's real!!! I did take a nap this afternoon so that helped me catch up a little on the sleep I missed this morning, but I still am hoping for at least 8 hours tonight! Thanks for all your congratulations. I appreciate the support!!

PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a confession to make. I actually did a hpt on Tuesday (11dpo). While on bedrest I spent some time on an ivf site that had many, many db's all about ivf. Well quite a few of them got bfps at 10dpo or earlier (I was mainly on a FET db). In fact some said their RE's do their Beta at 7dp5dt. They said their RE's expect the HCG to be at least 50 at that point which makes sense since in 2005 I was told it should be at least 100 at 14dpo. So anyhow I figured at 11dpo mine should be above 11 (I got a bfp in 2005 at 12dpo with hcg at 11.8) if there is any hope of it being at least 50 at 12dpo. So I continued taking my shots, but I was 99% convinced I wasn't pg. I had decided to test again at 14dpo (today) and if negative I was considering stopping my shots today even though I couldn't have the Beta until Monday. I talked with Paul about that last night on the phone. I didn't tell TOO many people though about the BFN on Tues in part bc I thought they'd tell me "it was probably too early" and I thought that it wasn't too early. I was wrong!!!

So I tested this morning FULLY expecting to only see one line, but there were TWO! I thought I was seeing things. I put some more contact solution in my eyes (it was only about 3:00am here in Chicago or 4am my usual EST) and turned on a second light in the bathroom to be sure. Nope, there are definitely two lines!!! Now here's the scary part. I am worried my hcg is not at 100 yet. The line is definitely darker than it was at 12dpo in 2005 when my hcg was 11.8, but it's still on the light side. So please pray, pray, pray that this little one STICKS. I am going to ask Wendy if we can call around and find some place that might do a Beta for me today if I pay cash. It would offer tremendous peace of mind. Plus I will definitely be calling my RE's office to move my Beta to Monday!!! And I will be buying more hpts as I only brought one with me (I only bought 2 for this FET and so I've now used both).

So I am in a state of shock at the moment and happy - very happy that our little # seven has implanted, but also rather nervous... I really want to HOLD this little one in my arms before he/she goes to Heaven like the other 7 babies we lost.

4dp6dt

Well my body hasn't switched to the new time since we turned the clocks back an hour. I didn't stay up late enough on Saturday night to make the switch (9:45 old time) so I wasn't surprised when I awakened at 5:00am on Sunday morning. However, last night I stayed up until 10:30pm (new time) which is late for me (especially as that's 11:30pm old time) but nope I woke up at 5:00am again. I usually get up around 6:00am so my body just hasn't switched yet. To make matters worse, tomorrow I am going into another time zone (CST) so if I don't adjust first to this change, I'll be two hours out of synch! Well I plan to stay up even later tonight as I'll be cheering on my team in Monday night football. So hopefully I'll sleep in later tomorrow morning especially since I don't need to get up AS early on Tuesday mornings as Bible study starts at 9am whereas my class starts at 8am this morning. I slept in my own bed last night. Ahhhh so wonderful to be in my cozy bed and have my hubby nearby. I usually get up and come downstairs to eat first, but I showered and got dressed first to eliminate one trip up & down the stairs. I have to say the shower felt equally as wonderful as I hadn't had one since Thursday morning although I had washed my hair in the kitchen sink on Friday morning.

So today is the big day when probably at the minimum I'll find out how many couples applied to be presented to Ann and possibly we'll even find out if she picked us today or if she has eliminated us in her process of narrowing down the pool. If we don't find out today if we were picked or not, we will most likely find out tomorrow. I definitely feel the suspense! Plus at the equivalent of 10dpo I definitely feel suspense in that regard as well. I'll keep you posted on both accounts!

2dp6dt

Well I've been on bedrest now for over 2 days. I have read two books from cover to cover, been on my laptop quite a bit, done my Bible study, and watched some tv. I am going to climb the stairs for the first time tomorrow night; so tonight will be my last night sleeping on the couch. I figure I have to climb the steps to get a shower on Monday morning so I might as well do it Sunday night and enjoy sleeping in our bed. The couch is comfy but not AS comfy as our bed! I read on one RE's website that they advise their patients not to climb ANY staircases in between transfer and Beta. Yikes! I haven't climbed any yet, but boy do I want a shower. Mine said no "heavy lifting" but didn't specify how many lbs that means. I searched on several different RE clinic websites and it seems most said 10 lbs and a few said 15 lbs. I am trying to err on the conservative side so I will try to stick with the 10 lb limit. That means I'd better not pick Adam up while in Chicago as my mom says he weighs 20 lbs! But someone can put him in my lap, and Susie is able to climb into my lap herself. :-) My mom wondered if my laptop is okay. Thankfully, it only weighs 6.5 lbs. I say thankfully because I've been lifting it a lot the last 2 days!

This next week is a big one. First we find out if Ann picked us or not, and then if our little one has implanted. I've been trying to keep my hopes "in check." I know if we had transferred 2-3 embryos our chances would be about 25% which isn't great, but with only one they are even less. So most likely I won't see two lines again. Of course I have some hope. It would be hard to bear all these shots w/o any hope. Plus I know many, many people are praying. More than ever prayed for me before in any other luteal phase. The women at ladies Bible study, the handbell choir, the senior choir, and the list goes on. And nothing is impossible with God. If He wants us to hold this little one in our arms one day - He can enable that to happen. And wow - many people will be giving Him the glory if that happens. It would truly be a miracle in my eyes.

Well anyhow I am having a little more trouble keeping my hopes in check because I am nauseous. Really nauseous. Last night when I asked for Paul to get me Tums and a trash can in case I threw up, I really didn't connect the dots in ANY way that this could be a pgcy symptom. Then as I felt nauseous again this evening (both days its only happened in the evening - yesterday a piece of toast helped but that trick hasn't helped tonight) I did a little research on the internet. I found out that an embyro needs to hatch by the 6th day. That's why they don't freeze them any later than 144 hours after conception because they can't hatch prior to transfer as that would be very bad (well they can START hatching but only if it's within a super short amount of time before transfer). Then I read (on the Chicago clinic's website) that they should implant within about 24 hours after hatching. So this tiny little one ideally would have hatched sometime on Thursday and then implanted Thursday or Friday. And hcg starts being produced right after implantation. And it doesn't take much hcg for me to be nauseous as I was very sick to my stomach at 11dpo and my hcg at 12dpo was only 11.8. So here's my newest prayer request - if I am feeling nauseous bc I am pg - then Lord let me stay nauseous, but if I am nauseous for some other reason, please let it go away ASAP so it won't cause me to get my hopes up more than they should be. I didn't have this in August. I know I'm on more PIO and also on EV which I wasn't on in Aug, but I've been on EV for 3 weeks and nothing til last night. I am trying to stay calm. The suspense is not easy though especially when I feel encouraged by the fact I feel so awful, LOL.

No scuba diving

I think the discharge instructions I received yesterday are humorous. It starts out with the 24 hours of bedrest instruction (may only get up to use the bathroom it says). Mid-way down the page (two lines above where it says to take the PIO two times a day and the EV on Tuesdays and Fridays) it says "No hot tubs/saunas/scuba diving." It's going to be a sacrifice, but I guess I can give up scuba diving for a couple of weeks. LOL I've never been scuba diving! I do enjoy snorkeling but who can afford IVF and also a vacation? Not us! The line below that ones says "Wear your seatbelt." I am not sure what that has to do with a FET. Maybe the hospital puts that on all discharge sheets? It's just a funny combination to me to see no scuba diving on one line, wear your seatbelt on the next, and progesterone in oil take 1 ml IM in am and 1 ml IM in pm on the next line.

I've been on the couch 99% of the time since I got home yesterday afternoon. Aside from going to the bathroom, I admit I did wash my hair. I had Paul bring me down some shampoo this morning (I slept on the couch last night). I sat on a chair and washed my hair in the sink while seated. The massage therapist had lotion on her hands which got in me hair when she gave me a scalp massage. My hair was just really gross, and I knew I couldn't wait til Monday morning to wash it. I didn't blow dry or anything like that. :-) Other than that I've been parked on the couch reading, watching tv, and using my laptop. I also talk to our baby now and then with my hand on my belly! And of course pray many times a day for him/her!

I'm PUPO again!

Thank you for your prayers! They were answered in two regards #1 the packet arrive in FL around 1:30 today so that was a relief and #2 more importantly our embyro is still looking good!!! She said the color was good (if it's brown it means it's dead) and she said when they first thawed it that it was all crunched up tight in the center which is good and that there weren't any ice crystals (which is bad). She said the embryo had been expanding (they started thawing it about 10am) and it hadn't reached the zona pellucida yet but she said it kept expanding like it should. I really like Teresa (the embryologist). She said, 'Your embryo says hi!" and I said "hi" and she said "Your mom and dad say hi" this was while she was tending to the embryo in the lab which is adjacent to the procedure room (where they do retrievals and transfers).

The transfer didn't happen until a little after 2pm. Let me tell you my bladder was about to POP. Dr. Awad was late (30 min) but then Dr. Murphy was even later (55 min). This was my first time meeting Dr. Murphy. It's just not nice to leave a woman on an operating table with a very full bladder for so long! But I made it. I didn't drink as much this time. I learned my lesson last time! At first Dr. M was doing the sonography while Dr. A was preparing for the transfer. He said something about an obstruction and I got really concerned and they switched places and Dr. A did the sonography and Dr. M the transfer. I asked if there was a problem and Dr. A said no your cervix is very tight and it keeps moving, but Dr. M had success and then Teresa brought in our precious embryo. They had the screen turned so I didn't see the "black dot" like in August when they pointed out the 3 traveling dots to me. And they didn't print a photo like the resident did in August who did the sonography. Hopefully I'll get a photo in a couple of weeks though which would be even better than the one I have from Aug of the three dots.

The nurse said my Beta will be on Nov 15. I can't believe they'd expect someone to wait until 20dpo (or past retrieval as the case may be!). Last time they had mine scheduled for 16dpo but I came in 2 days early at 14dpo. I plan to call next week to reschedule it to Nov 12 which will be 17dpo which is still later than when I had it this summer. I don't want extra shots for no reason if I'm not pg. Most REs usually do a Beta 9-11 days past 5 or 6 day transfer although some do it as early as 5-8 days past.

My bottom is also in a lot less pain today. Working on those "lumps" although it was painful to do has definitely decreased the pain level. I also have to add that I did end up having a massage today!! A friend (who is a nurse and her husband is a doctor) from handbells called me last night and I happened to mention how I had tried to schedule a massage this morning. She asked first if I had tried with the woman I had in August, and I said I did go to her in August before the transfer but she was booked today. Well she knew of another massage therapist in Danville that I didn't know of, and she called her this morning and got me a 10:30 appt. How sweet was that! Paul said the way I was talking at the end of the massage he thought I was half asleep so it was definitely relaxing.

He's been such a sweet heart. He went to Bucknell last night (late) so that he could be with me this morning and afternoon. He was looking forward to having breakfast together at Denny's prior to the transfer but the massage meant no time for that. Now he's at my university doing some work in the lab on a piece of equipment his school doesn't have (he was there yesterday and got a parking ticket but today he's using my car so he won't get a ticket), and he's picking up pizza on the way home for dinner. I really appreciate all he's done for me today and I know he'll keep helping me out during my 3 days of bedrest (or pelvic rest as the nurse called it, LOL).

Thanks again for all your prayers. Now I am praying the little embryo will break through the zona pellucida, implant into my uterus, and HANG ON tight!!!