35 Weeks

It may seem odd to still be keeping track of his gestational age since he's on day of life 22, but the doctors certainly deem it still important. They refer to it as his "corrected age." I made it to "9 months" pregnant with Nadia (36w), but this time I missed hitting the eight month pregnant mark by one day. Seeing how much trouble he's having with breathing, I am pretty certain he would have ended up in the NICU even if he had been born at 35w. I kept telling Paul that life would calm down either the last week of August or the first week of September. I had figured that either Oliver wouldn't be born until then OR if he was born earlier than that he still wouldn't come home from the NICU until then. I kept thinking that the first week of September was the most likely scenario and that the last week of August was the best case scenario. It seems I was probably on target with that although his discharge date is still unknown. I am getting the boot from the demo room today. I am grateful I was able to be here for three nights. Since I am nursing him more frequently (last week it was every 3 hours), I don't think it makes sense to check into the Ronald McDonald House. I'm just going to put my suitcase in the car, leave a few things (ex. the boppy) at his bedside, and then carry a few things (ex. this computer) with me at all times. I'm planning on sleeping in either the NICU or PICU lounge in between his feedings this evening. I'm hoping the nurse will call me if he wakes up crying at some point because it's hard to nurse on demand when I'm not within earshot of him.

His weight plateaued yesterday. That is better than losing weight, but he has to gain weight to go home. He had one tube feeding yesterday, and thus far today he's had two tube feedings. I attempted to feed him by bottle after nursing him at 7am, but that didn't go well. I wasn't really wanting to give him bottles anyhow so his rejection of the bottle helped me feel more firm in that. The doctor again laid out three options. He said that his least favorite was to introduce bottles because that could lead to a regression with the nursing. He said he was leaning towards doing the same as yesterday (pumping 1 ounce before nursing) in the hopes that he'll gain weight today, but he said I could opt to have more NG tube feedings today - this would be a more sure way of getting him to gain weight today BUT it could possibly lengthen his stay here (if Oliver would have gained weight today without NG supplements) because weight gain with supplements doesn't count in terms of meeting the requirement for discharge. Please pray that I'll have wisdom and also more importantly that Oliver will gain weight. I really, really, really want to be discharged sometime in the next five days. The lactation nurse is meeting me for his next feeding so she can weigh him before and after I nurse him. The doctor told me he doesn't put much stock in those weight measurements.

His oxygen has gone up from .025 to .5. He still has "lung disease." I'm also praying he'll start to show improvements with a decrease in his need for oxygen. I had my training yesterday on the oxygen and apnea monitor. It was rather overwhelming given how physically exhausted I am and also how emotionally distressed I was yesterday morning. I had to work so hard not to burst into tears while the man was explaining everything.

It's time for lunch. The Ronald McD House charges $15/ night, but I got free food there. It seems the cost is about the same either way as I'm spending about $15/ day on meals here at the hospital, but my lodging is free. I can say I'm going to be very tired of french toast by the time he gets discharged as there aren't many options for breakfast. I'm still looking forward to the day when I'm with my husband and three kids, able to sleep in my own bed, and have far more control over what I eat.