Not Going Home

Today is my 17th day of being hospitalized since May 30. I honestly had no clue this might happen. I had no knowledge that sometimes women are hospitalized for weeks or months at a time due to pregnancy complications. Yesterday they brought me back to the same room I was in for 30 minutes on Friday evening. The room has a nice view (although of course not nearly as grand as the "penthouse suite" I was in the first time I was on this floor), and I learned that there is a way to turn off the night light that annoyed me during my 3rd stay on this floor. I've now spent at least one night in 10 different hospital rooms - 1 at our local hospital, 5 on the 8th floor, and 4 on the 9th floor.

They bring meals earlier on the 9th floor, which is a definite perk over the 8th floor. My breakfast was served at 8:15am (compared to 10:50am yesterday), and my lunch was served at noon (compared to 12:50pm yesterday), and they have been bringing me what I requested. YAY! The nurse on the 8th floor figured out yesterday what had been happening. They had been giving my tray to the woman in L&D room 4, which is the room I started out in this time around, but after the bleeding episode on Friday night I was moved to room 3. The nurse said the woman was surprised because she had been told she couldn't eat (because she was in labor), and she really enjoyed my breakfast. You think they'd be careful about checking to make sure the name on the tray matches the patient's name. What if that person had a food allergy or was diabetic or something? Similarly, when I was here for the fetal blood transfusion, they tried to bring me breakfast AND lunch even though I knew I wasn't allowed to eat after 4am that day. I told them I wasn't allowed to eat, even though I was starving and really wanted those trays of food! Anyhow I'm grateful that I've now had 4 meals in a row in which I received the right tray of food.

I definitely slept better last night than I had on the L&D floor as they don't come in your room during the night as often. They woke me up at 11pm for vitals and at midnight for my dose of Procardia. I was awake when they came at 6am for the next dose. The vitals are definitely more complicated when I'm on Procardia because they have to take my blood pressure a bunch of times to get it to a number that doesn't scare them. They have me try all different positions to see if the number will go up. One downside of this floor though is that it's lonelier. I got to know the nurses a lot better on the 8th floor because we had much more contact and would chat more. Maybe in part it's because today is my 5th day in a row of being hospitalized, but I'm feeling a bit stir crazy today. I'm trying to pace myself with the books Paul brought me. Yesterday I told myself to only read one book, and that's what I did. But by noon today I had already finished the book I started this morning. I'm pretty sure I will finish another book today, but I can't keep at a two book a day pace because I have only five more books to read, and if they don't discharge me, I won't get any more books until Saturday or Sunday. If I find out they're keeping me here until the baby is born, I'm asking Paul to bring me a radio as I think having some music playing would help me feel a little less lonely. With two little kids at home I am not at all used to being in a quiet room all day long.

I had an ultrasound this afternoon, and for the first time since the transfusion (13 days ago), Oliver was back in the mild anemia category. His number really jumped up a LOT over the past 4 days. Actually his number today was what it was 2 weeks ago when they said he needed a transfusion, but the number is expected to go higher throughout the pregnancy so although 50 was "moderate/severe" two weeks ago, it was only "mild" today. My next ultrasound will be on Wednesday. Seeing Oliver's cute little face on the ultrasound helped remind me of why I am here. It is incredibly hard for me to be separated from Nadia and Ian this much, and it's hard on them as well, which breaks my heart. I know in the grand scheme of life this is not a big deal, but at the moment it's difficult. The pictures in this post are from June 17th. Paul grabbed the camera and snapped a few pictures when he noticed Nadia was looking at one of my magazines while eating her breakfast. The apple doesn't fall from the tree, lol! I guess she's going to be a multitasker like her Mommy.

I wrote the above part of the post earlier today. The doctor just did her rounds and told me I'm not leaving the hospital until I deliver. I am totally overwhelmed. Please pray for me. I'm in tears. I asked her what's the longest they'll have me go, and she said 36 weeks. She said it could be sooner if I keep bleeding or if Oliver needs a transfusion past 32 weeks, then they'll just deliver him rather than doing another transfusion. She said they were already leaning towards keeping me here and that the bleeding episode on Friday sealed that decision. That means I could possibly be here for 8 1/2 MORE weeks. I am not sure how I am going to bear seeing my kids for a couple of hours a week for 2 months. I miss them so much already.