Not going home

My mom said that Ian was doing much better yesterday morning, but when I talked to Paul this morning, it was a very different story. Paul's dad is coming up to take Ian to the Pediatrician. I assume he also has RSV, but hopefully Ian won't need to be hospitalized for it. My dad isn't doing well either. He's seeing a doctor today. Hopefully Oliver, Ian, and my dad will be on the mend in the near future. At CHOP they only provided food for the patient (Oliver). If a parent wanted a tray of food, it cost $5. There was no way I was paying $5 for a hospital meal. I know from too much experience the hospital food isn't very tasty. Thankfully at this hospital they have been providing a "guest" tray for me since I'm in the room 24 hours a day and unable to get any other food. Yesterday I was able to fill out Oliver's menus for today, but I am not able to have any input in what I'm given. Every bit of my plate was covered in gravy at lunch yesterday (the stuffing, mashed potatoes, and the turkey had gravy on them). I do not like gravy; so I didn't touch any of the food on the plate, but I did eat the container of mandarin oranges and some soup from Oliver's tray. Dinner also had gravy on it, but I was so hungry I scraped off the gravy and ate it anyhow. I went to bed with a growling stomach. It won't hurt me to lose a couple of pounds that's for sure. Oliver has lost a pound over this illness. Yesterday he did want to drink apple juice, but he wouldn't drink milk or eat. This morning he is back to drinking milk and eating. They keep cutting back on how much they are giving him by iv.

On Monday the doctor said there was a chance he would be discharged on Tuesday. Yesterday he said he thought he could be discharged today, but this morning I was told that's not going to happen. Around 2:30am last night I felt like unplugging Oliver from all the wires and taking him home. Two children were admitted to the ward last night so the nurse wasn't able to come and deal with the beeping machines for quite awhile (pulse ox monitor and iv). Picture trying to sleep while a car alarm is going off 2 feet from your head. I tried sleeping on the floor and three different chairs in the room and as of 2:45am hadn't slept a wink although I started trying to go to sleep at 8pm. At 2:45 I asked the nurse to switch the sensor to his other foot as it hadn't been moved in 11 hours. That did the trick and the alarm was silent for a few hours, and I was able to get 3 hours of interrupted sleep (they still came in to check his temp and such). I have a very hard time sharing a hospital bed with a toddler, and the room is never dark and rarely quiet. I thought I was going to throw up from exhaustion, hunger, and a splitting headache. Oliver is doing much better today. He finally started smiling last night for the first time since Sunday. His fever is gone, but they can't get him off the oxygen. I'm praying that which ever nurse is on duty tonight won't object to Oliver sleeping in the crib. I had him asleep in the crib last night, but the nurse objected. I want to get home for so many reasons. I want Oliver to be feeling better. I want us both to be able to sleep in our own beds and get more sleep than we're getting here. I miss Nadia and Ian. I am feeling very cooped up in this hospital bed. Even going to the bathroom is tricky because I am afraid of Oliver climbing or falling out of the bed. We had special things on our calendar that are in danger of being cancelled - tickets to see the Barnum & Bailey Circus on Friday, Easter dinner with our extended family on Sunday, a dinner and dancing date with Paul on Saturday night to celebrate my birthday, Maundy Thursday service at church, etc. Hoping everyone is feeling better asap!