Adjustments

As the ancient Greek philosopher said, "the only constant in life is change." Although we didn't end up moving even though we had our house on the market for 6 months (for which I am grateful), I am definitely adjusting to big changes this year. I am adjusting to life with my mother in Heaven. I miss her very much. I wish I could call her on the phone, but I am also relieved that she is free from physical suffering. The tears I (still) shed are proof of how much we loved each other. That is a gift not to be taken for granted. There are people who experience little to no grief at the news of a relative's passing because they didn't have a good relationship. Of course the adjustment is MUCH greater for my father.

I am also adjusting to Paul's job change. I was expecting him to be gone from home a lot more (because he had worked at the family the first 4 years of our marriage), but I had no inkling he would be gone as much as he actually has been the past 2 1/2 months. It's such a dramatic change from having the summers off as a professor to the other extreme of being away from home as many as 18 1/2 hours a day six days a week. For the first almost 15 years of marriage I was the one going to bed first. Now we either go down at the same time or he goes to bed first as he goes to bed between 9:30-10:00 these days, which is very wise considering he often leaves for work before 4am (sometimes as early as 2am). For example this Wednesday he left for work at 4:00 am and got home at 8:00 pm while I was at church picking the kids up from their summer musical. He was in the shower when we came home and while I brushed the kids teeth and such. He had about 30 seconds with each boy that night to tuck them into bed.  On Monday and Tuesday he got home at 7:00 pm each night while the kids were at VBS. He picked them up at 9:00 and helped me brush their teeth and get them into bed Yvonne suggested I move the kids bedtime back later so that they could have more time with Daddy, but I haven't done so because #1 I do not think they will sleep in later if I do that and #2 if Paul gets home at 8:00 and goes to bed at 9:30 that only leaves him time to shower, eat dinner, and watch a little television. He usually watches something on Amazon Prime or a DVD from the library each night. We usually get our cable tv hooked back up in September (for football), but we are doing it a month early so we can watch the Olympics. So in the near future he'll have a lot more choices of what to watch on tv (until we disconnect the cable again once the NFL season is over). Anyhow, it has definitely been an adjustment for the kids and I. Oliver is oblivious, but Nadia and Ian have definitely noticed the change and miss their dad.

The swimming pool where the kids have taken lessons the past six years made a change this summer from offering three two week sessions to offering one week sessions almost the whole summer. When Nadia was in Level Two their schedule didn't work for us so I signed her up for one week of private lessons instead. At the end of that week the instructor said Nadia had mastered Level 2 and had almost also mastered Level 3, but I put her in Level 3 last year, and this year she was in a class for levels 4-6. Ian passed Level 1 last year in the two week session, but this year one week was not enough for him to pass Level 2. I asked him if he wanted to wait until next year to take Level 2 again, or if he wanted to take a second week of lessons the first week of August while Nadia was having her diving lessons, and he said he wanted another week this  year so I signed him up. I am not going to sign Oliver up for another week though in light of the $45 charge involved. I will sign him up for Level 1 next summer. He needs to work on being brave enough to submerge his head under water. Oliver's teacher on Tuesday-Thursday was better than the one he had on Mon/Fri in my opinion. He had a private lesson on Thursday as the other boy didn't show up. Ian needs to work on giving more eye contact to his teacher when she's talking. Oliver's personality is SO different from Ian's. He was very verbal and very vocal in ideas of what they could do next during the lesson. Ian has never been like that. The three kids are not three peas in a pod that is for sure. God has made us each very unique! I am missing Miss Nadia so much. I am VERY glad I do not need to get used to her absence in our home yet. I know that day will come all too quickly, but we should have another 10 years before that happens. I will be hugging my girl tomorrow morning!

I am also making adjustments based on our last minute vacation plans. Originally I had planned for us to go to Del Grosso's amusement park twice this summer, but then when I signed Nadia and Ian up for the baseball/softball clinic at Sunbury Bible Church, I decided we'd only go to Del Grosso's once. It was later that same day after I paid the $50 for the clinic that I found out about the proposed dates of a vacation in August, which would conflict with the second date for DelGrosso's. So it seems this year we are taking a break from DelGrosso's, but we will be enjoying a water park in Ohio that we have never been to before instead (at the Kalahari Resort in Sandusky). I had registered Nadia and Ian for Good News Camp the week we're now going to Ohio so they won't be doing that, but I only paid $30 total and it was to a very worth cause (CEF) so that's not a big deal. Next year all three kids will be old enough for that camp. None of them have done it before. I learned about it last year and it's less than 10 minutes from our house! Hopefully they'll all be able to do it next year. Speaking of growing up, I have been delinquent in teaching Oliver his alphabet. I worked with Nadia to learn her letters a few months before she turned four. Ian learned them on his own when he was two. I had intended to teach them to Oliver this summer, but we haven't spent much time on it (yet). I don't think we will achieve the goal by his birthday, but I think we can achieve it by the end of August. Here's a little video showing some of the ones he knows thus far.

Best Mail Ever

Most of the mail that passes through our mailbox goes straight to the recycling bin because it is junk mail, and we also get a few bills in the mail. Personal mail is much rarer and much more enjoyable. I received a few more sympathy cards in the mail yesterday, for example. But today I got the best mail possible - a letter from Nadia! It was short and sweet, but it is priceless to me. It said "Dear Mom, I love you. I miss you, but I am haveing fun. Love, Nadia XOXO" That's a keeper to be sure!

A couple of months ago I started looking for a kitchen table on sites such as Craigslist. Every time I found one I loved that came with 6 chairs, when I asked for the dimensions, I found it was too big for the space where I planned to put it. I wanted a new table because #1 the one I bought in 1996 only came with four chairs (we were using a different chair as the fifth one ever since Oliver outgrew the high chair) and #2 the table was showing more and more wear. If money were no object, I would buy a table exactly like the one that is in the kitchen at my dad's house. It has a formica top, has a center pedestal, and the chairs that come with it are very comfortable and they swivel. Some day maybe I will own a table similar to that one that I have sat at many times over the decades. The table I bought in 1996 was a similar color of wood and also had a center pedestal, but otherwise it was very inferior to their table. In light of all the craziness the past several weeks, I hadn't put any time into searching for a table, but on Tuesday night my neighbor happened to post a table on a Facebook yard sale page. I hadn't been on that page since May, but because she is my friend on Facebook, I was alerted to her posting. When I saw the picture of her table and saw it came with 6 chairs, I asked her for the dimensions and was thrilled to find out it was almost exactly the same size as ours (a little narrower but the same length with the leaf in place). It looks nothing like the table in my dad's house, but I like it. I paid $100 for the table plus 6 chairs, and I posted our old table (and 4 chairs) on a few FB yard sale pages. I asked for $75, but someone actually offered me $100 if I will deliver it to her here in  our town. Paul had planned to borrow his dad's truck to finish that tree project that we've been working on for two months so we can also deliver it tomorrow night. This means getting a new (to us) table and 6 chairs isn't costing us a penny!  Our "old" table matched the color of the kitchen cabinets, but I am very happy with my spontaneous purchase of the week. It certainly was easy to get the table here since it just had to come across the street.

Our "new" table also shows some signs of wear, but there are tiles in the table, which means no scratches on that part. The biggest drawback to me are the fact that it has four legs. I think it's so much easier to arrange 6 chairs around the table if it has a center pedestal. I love the color. The table legs and everything on the chairs except for the seats are painted dark green, which happens to be one of my favorite colors, and it also is the color of the counter tops in the kitchen. My mom gave me olive green curtains for my birthday, and those doors are right next to the table, and the tiles on the table are an olive green. In other words I think it matches the kitchen beautifully. Since Paul very rarely sits at the kitchen table (thus far this month the only day he did so was July 4), I am planning on keeping the fifth chair off to the side and pulling it up to the table when he joins us. The sixth chair is in the basement but can be easily brought up if a grandparent joins us. Next up is to finally order the new flooring for the kitchen. One perk of the new table is that the seats are a little higher than our old ones, which means Oliver doesn't need a booster seat, which makes him very happy!

Last week my sister called to mention they were trying to plan a joint vacation for the second week of August. At first it sounded very unappealing to me because of all the time I spent on the road lately driving to and from Maryland (4 round trips in 3 weeks). Plus I was feeling like I just needed some time at home to do things like weed my flower beds, clean the bathrooms, etc. But I know the kids would be so upset if they found out I passed on a chance for them to be with their cousins, and I know I will have regrets if we don't go. Now that I've had four days at home the idea is starting to sound better than it did last week so hopefully by August 8 I will be raring to go because we have made reservations for 21 of us (everyone except Paul) to spend 4 nights at a resort in Sandusky, OH (trying to find something that was a reasonable drive considering folks would be driving from MD, PA, and IL). I am sure we'll all have a wonderful time. My dad wants to have some time to talk with his four children about decisions he needs to make in light of my mom's passing, and soon we siblings will be heading different ways as Maurice moves to Texas prior to the 17th of August and Yvonne and her family will head back to Turkey on September 6. The last vacation the kids and I were on was with my parents in Williamsburg, VA. I had no idea at that time it would be my mom's last vacation. It was a good one to be sure, but I had no idea at the time it would be the last one with her.

Roller skating and swimming

I was very touched that two photos I had taken of my mom were featured on Saturday. A photo I took of my parents in 2014 was printed on the urn as well as on the programs handed out prior to the service, and a picture I took of my mom and Ian (at left) was featured on the laminated "prayer cards" given out to guests that morning. At first we were trying to get a picture of just my mom, but aside from one taken when she was six years old we didn't stumble across any, and then they tried to crop others out, but it just wasn't working. Having a picture
with my dad be the featured photo was certainly appropriate since they had been "one flesh" for almost 47 years, and showing one with Ian was also appropriate as she surely loved her fourteen grandchildren. Another one I really love of my mom was one I took in December 2014 of her, Maurice, and Jenna. I wish there was a somewhat recent one of my mom and I. There are some cute ones from my childhood, but I don't think a picture exists from the past 20+ years of just my mom and I. I do have many that I love though of her with my children. I am thankful for those. As I went through the

photo albums, I put some in my suitcase to bring home with me. Now I want to pick out of a few of those to put in frames around our house such as one from my parents' wedding which includes my parents, my two Grandmas, and my Grandpa.

Today the boys had their second swim lesson. Oliver had a different teacher today. He did a better job. There are two kids in his class and five kids in Ian's class. Ian had the same teacher today. In the past swim lessons lasted two weeks. We shall see if Ian can master the Level 2 skills in just one week. I might need to sign him up for the same level again next summer. After the swimming lessons I took the boys roller skating. It was free to skate from 10-12:30. Oliver has a pair of skates so I just paid $4 total for our adventure. Later in the afternoon I took them swimming for the first time in two weeks. The lifeguard asked where Nadia was. You know it's a small pool when the lifeguard knows your children's names.

Back to normal

Yesterday felt like a normal day except #1 I couldn't call my mom like I usually have the past 10+ years and #2 Nadia wasn't with us. Paul left for work before 3:30 am and got home around 7:00 pm, which has been the norm for him the past two months. He told me he slept more than 12 hours straight on Saturday night, which I am sure his body greatly appreciated. He drove for almost 8 hours total on Saturday to come to Maryland and also take Nadia to camp. He had planned to go to work on Sunday as he had on July 3 and 10, but he stayed home on the 17th to get some much needed rest. I was really worried that my day might start way too early because Oliver fell asleep almost as soon as we got in the car at 5:30 pm on Sunday night. I just assumed he would take a nap, but he slept the whole way home. When we arrived home at 9:00 pm, Paul took him to the bathroom, changed him into pajamas, and brushed his teeth. He went right back to sleep and slept until 6:50, which means he got more than 13 hours of sleep on Sunday night. I was very relieved that he didn't want to start his day at 4:00 am or something like that as usually he doesn't go to bed until 8:00 (and with VBS he has been going to bed as late as 9:00 many nights).

The boys and I first went to the library, then to swimming lessons (9:45-10:15), and then to the Lycoming Fair. It was Oliver's very first swimming lesson (preschool level). He was one of two kids in the class (both boys). He did pretty well although at one point he wandered off and tried to join Ian's (level 2) class, and at the end he had enough and got out of the pool a couple of minutes before the lesson was supposed to be over. Hopefully both boys will make progress this week in their swimming skills. I had planned for the five of us to go to the Lycoming Fair on Saturday, but when I found out it would be free on Monday thanks to a charitable organization, I changed our plans. We paid $2 for parking, $1 for two bottles of water, $1 for carrots to feed the animals in the petting zoo, an $1 for a hot dog which means our four hour adventure cost us a grand total of $5. First we walked through the buildings containing the rabbits, pigs, cows, horses, goats, etc. and also visited the petting zoo (which is also where they have camel rides but we passed on those this year). The kids enjoyed petting a 5 month old baby kangaroo. The rest of the time they rode rides except for 30 minutes when we had to take a break and wait for it to stop raining. Oliver kept asking to ride "just one more ride." After running a few errands (boys slept some in the van) and eating pizza for dinner at home, I took them to VBS. This will be their last week of VBS this summer. By Friday the boys should have done 12 total nights of VBS, and Nadia did 8 nights of VBS this year.

It was my first time taking the kids to the fair without Paul, but we managed pretty well. Some rides that they both needed an adult to ride with them I was able to ride with both of them at the same time. Once I found an older child who could ride the bumper cars with Ian while I rode with Oliver because both needed a "responsible person," and you can't have three people in one bumper car. Similarly, only two can ride together on the Ferris wheel. Ian graciously offered to sit on a bench beside the ride and wait while Oliver and I rode the ride together. I was willing to leave a 6 1/2 year old by himself for a few minutes (we waved every time we went past him on our way back down), but there was no way I would have done that with Oliver (almost 4). Ian is far more obedient for one thing! I didn't mention yesterday all the messes that Oliver got into at my dad's house. Let me tell you that it's better if Oliver and Joel play together. When Oliver and Julianna (2 three year olds) play together - some large mess is likely to be created. Joel, Ian, and Nathan went to Chuck E Cheese on Sunday afternoon with one of Yvonne's friends, so

Oliver couldn't play with Joel that day. On Saturday Oliver and Julianna spread toothpaste all over the carpet, etc. On Sunday they displaced a LOT of water from the half-bathroom sink (they were both totally drenched as well as the hand towels, floor rug, etc.). Then later on Sunday they decided to spread suntan lotion all over their hands, clothes, hair, and also on Uncle Maurice while he was sleeping on the couch. Let me tell you that it is NOT easy to get sunscreen out of hair. What a mess. I know this too shall pass. They will mature and not get into these messes. 18 months ago when the two were together our primary concern was whether or not Julianna would be pulling Oliver's hair. That is definitely already a thing of the past. Now we just need to learn not to make big messes.

Joe went back to Turkey yesterday. Please pray for his safety over there and that he will be able to come back to the US on the 29th..

Nadia with her counselor (Alysssa) and cabin mates!

All of the girls attending Camp Susque this week! (Nadia is on the front row)

Family Ties

Sometimes you live very close to your immediate and/or extended family, and other times you live geographically far apart. Some people live within a few miles of their family and yet are not close emotionally or in some cases sadly are not even on speaking terms with each other. Paul grew up with his grandparents living very, very close to him (in other words in his house or in the house next door). When I was growing up my cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles lived in other states, but we got together with them usually at least once a year. Once we reached college age, the visits became less regular as instead of getting together with extended family for holidays we have only been getting together for weddings and funerals. The last time I saw most of my relatives on my dad's side of the family was when we went to New York for my father's cousin's 70th birthday party nine years ago. I had seen two relatives on my dad's side more recently - my cousin, Brooke, stopped in to see me at the hospital 4 years ago when I was pregnant with Oliver and I saw my Aunt Janet several times between 2008-2010. The last time I saw any of my relatives on my mom's side of the family was at a wedding in August 2003. When we were growing up our cousins lived in New York (Long Island) and Virginia (Roanoke and Virginia Beach). My parents each had one sister, plus my dad also has a half-sister. His half-sister never had any children. My dad's sister has three children (no grandchildren), and my mom's sister has eight children and seventeen grandchildren. Growing up we also regularly got together with one of my dad's cousins who has three children and five grandchildren.

My Aunt Janet (dad's sister) had made plans to fly to MD and visit my mom, but since she arrived on July 14, she wasn't able to see her one last time. She was able to stay until Saturday night which meant she was able to attend the family dinner at the church on Friday night and the visitation, funeral, and luncheon on Saturday at the church. My dad's cousin, Charlie, and his wife, Nadine drove from Pittsburgh and spent Friday night at their daughter, Samantha's home in Virginia, and the three of them were with us at the church on Saturday. My mom's sister, brother-in-law, and seven of her eight nieces/nephews came down on Friday night along with six of their spouses and nine of their seventeen children. Four of them flew from Indiana in the airplane that my mom's dad had flown for decades, and the rest drove to Maryland from Virginia, Ohio, and Indiana. Janet had met Nadia and Ian before, but none of the other relatives had ever met any of my children. It was great to see all of them however considering 28 relatives were there whom I hadn't seen in 6-13 years, I wasn't able to have lengthy conversations with too many of them. My cousin Katrina is the same age as me, and we naturally spent a lot of time together when our families were visiting each other, and I pretty much only had time to say "hi" to her, which was disappointing. I was sitting at the table for the luncheon with Janet, Charlie, Nadine, and Samantha so I was able to have longer conversations with them. My Aunt Janet also spent some time at my dad's house on Friday and Saturday so I definitely had more time with her than any of the other extended family. Hopefully so many years will not pass before we get together again with our relatives on both sides of the family. 

I wish I lived geographically closer to my siblings so that my kids could see their cousins more regularly, but it seems unlikely that will ever happen. I am thankful that we are emotionally close and do enjoy the times we can be together face-to-face. Yvonne and her family are staying until September 6 (my parents' anniversary). Joe might have flown back to Turkey today for ten days, although I am not sure if the attempted military coup altered his plans. Wendy and her family live in Chicago, and Maurice is moving to Texas in four weeks. My mom's emails always kept us informed as to what was going on in each other's lives. We siblings are going to need to reach out to each other by phone or Skype more often now that our mom has passed away. I have to retrain my brain to refer to the house as "Grandpa's house" after referring to it as Grandma's house for the past 8 years and my mom's house for more than 30 years before that. Old habits die hard. I also realize we no longer need to refer to Paul's mom as Grandma Kennedy any more. She can just be called "Grandma." That makes me sad. I know my mom is in a better place, and I'm grateful her suffering is over but she will be deeply missed by me and many others. I wish so badly I could just pick up the phone and call her right now. 

On Thursday the boys and I drove down to Maryland after seeing Nadia's first performance of Little Mermaid, Jr. She had a very small part - much smaller than last year. In hindsight I wish I had not signed her up. Last year the younger children were able to sing most of the songs and have speaking parts in Annie. That was not true this year. Plus the practices were held farther away than last year. Plus my mom passed away during "tech week" which ended up being the reason I wasn't there for her last 36 hours of life (of course I had no way of knowing when exactly she would pass away when I left) and also was the reason I didn't rush back to Maryland on Tuesday after Wendy called me with the news. I was able to help from a distance with the funeral website, write the life summary included on half of the bulletin for her service, and create five slideshows that were used during the visitation, funeral, and luncheon, but my heart was in Maryland that whole time. If I had to say right now I would say I absolutely want to look for opportunities in the future for Nadia to be involved in theatre productions, but at the moment I am not inclined to sign her up for that program next summer although it was an excellent (Christian!) theatre program, and next year she will be old enough to try out for parts and sing in far more songs. One upside to her not participating in that next year would be she could do the Good News Camp in Northumberland that Ian did last week. She really wants to do that.

Because she had another show on Friday night, she didn't go down with the boys and I on Thursday night. She and Paul went home and she spent the day at Grandma's house while Paul was at work. Paul and his parents went to see her show on Friday night. The four of them drove down (in two cars) on Saturday morning. Nadia and Paul arrived around 8:30 at the church so we could do a mic check for her duet with Ian. My mom did not want any eulogies during the service. We honored that request although the Pastor did share some of his reflections on her life during the message, and then we did give a time for others to do so during the luncheon in the multi-purpose room. During the service Yvonne and Jenna played a duet for four hands on the piano (Morning has broken), Nadia and Ian sang a duet ('Tis so sweet), the choir sang one of my all time favorites "The Majesty and Glory of your name" (with the orchestra), Adam and Wendy played a cello/violin duet (Old Rugged Cross), Wendy played a classical violin solo, and I played a flute solo (His eye is on the sparrow). The congregation sang "Great is thy faithfulness" (mom's most favorite hymn) and "Blessed Assurance." A pianist an the orchestra provided accompaniment for both hymns. I was invited to play the piano or flute for either of those, but I opted just to sing (and cry) instead. I am posting below the video of their duet. You can skip the first 30 seconds as Paul started recording before they started singing.

Paul and Nadia had to leave around 12:30 (after eating) to get Nadia to Camp on time. As it was she was the last one to arrive. We will be picking her up on Saturday morning. Hopefully she is having a fabulous time! Paul's parents were able to stay until the end of the luncheon (about 2:00). Drayton's parents (Wendy's husband) also came to the church on Saturday. As we were creating presentation boards with photos of my mom on Saturday night it hit me that planning a funeral is in several ways similar to planning a wedding only you have FAR more time to plan a wedding. The people at Grace Baptist went above and beyond the call of duty. They provided the meal for the extended family on Friday night as well as the meal for the luncheon (for hundreds of people to eat) on Saturday. The pastor did a great job with the message. We came home with food on Friday night, Saturday afternoon, and Sunday morning so the refrigerator, freezer, counter tops, and pantries are overflowing with food. We certainly felt very loved! I took apart the very large flower arrangements and placed the flowers in multiple vases to spread around dad's house.  I came home to six sympathy cards that had been mailed to me - one from a relative on Paul's mom's side of the family, four from families in the church we attended from 2008-2014, and one from a co-worker when I was a principal (1996-2003).

Sunday was Wendy's 40th birthday. I can't remember the last time prior to this year that I was with my sisters on their birthdays, but we were in the hospital together on January 21 (Yvonne's birthday) this year and together in my dad's house on Wendy's birthday yesterday. I had already mailed her gift to Chicago not knowing I would see her in person before then. Yvonne and I went through the scrap books and found pictures from her birth and her first seven birthdays (dad's idea) and he presented them to her on Sunday after lunch. Drayton and Yvonne started cooking around 6:30 to make a wonderful hot breakfast for all 20+ of us (pancakes, sausage, potatoes, and eggs). Drayton and Joe also made a wonderful lunch for us after church (grilled chicken, asparagus, Waldorf salad, potatoes, and rolls). Wendy wore one of my mom's dresses to church. She looked so beautiful in it. Eventually I want to pick some of her clothing out for myself. It will be a way to remember her in the months and years to come. My dad also presented Wendy with a bracelet and necklace of my mom's as her 40th birthday present, which was very special, I too eventually want to pick out some jewelry for myself and also some to give Nadia when she is older. I still think of my Grandma Lillian whenever I wear the ring that she passed on to me. I remember crying at my Grandma Lillian's funeral, but my mom's funeral was by far the hardest one I have ever attended in my life. I miss you so much, mom.

My tribute

Some of you knew my mom well and others of you never met her. Here are some of the ways I would describe her. Also, here are 10 of the 100 pictures I have put in her slide show thus far.

1. She loved the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. She taught her children about her Savior and served in a variety of ways (often behind the scenes) at church and also at Capital Bible Seminary where my dad worked for more than 30 years.

2. She dearly loved her husband. They would have celebrated their 47th anniversary this September. I never once in my life had any worries about my parents divorcing. They took their marriage vows very seriously. She loved to hear him preach or teach his Sunday School class. She looked forward to a date with my dad even if they were just going to the hardware store together.

3. She loved her children and grandchildren. Since we went to a Christian school busing wasn't an option, but I firmly believe that if it had she still would have opted to take us to school and pick us up herself. Time together as a family was very important to both my parents. We almost always had dinner together, and family fun nights were a priority, which might have meant doing a puzzle, playing Uno, coloring together, etc. My mom would read the same book again and again and again if a child requested her to do so. (I on the other hand am prone to suggest we pick a different book after reading it a couple of times.) She really wished that she lived closer to some of her grandchildren. She had 7
grandchildren in Turkey, 4 in Chicago, and 3 in Pennsylvania. My parents actually were planning to move to PA, but her diagnosis negated those plans. For example, she would come out to see one soccer game a season, but she wanted to live closer and come to even more games. I would have loved that, but it was not meant to be. Her 14 grandchildren adored her and will miss her very much. In particular I will miss her daily emails, our almost daily phone chats, her presence at my kids' birthday parties and other special
events, and her words of affirmation. She gave me more words of affirmation than anyone else in my life ever has. She had not emailed as regularly the past six months due to her weakness from the cancer and chemo, but we still did get an email now and then. One of the last emails I got from her she sent in June after she got home from what ended up being her second to last hospitalization. In that email she was telling me what a nice job she thought I did with painting some rooms in my house. I will deeply miss her words of affirmation. Those
 little words "I'm proud of you" or "I love you" meant so much to me.

4. She loved music. When she really liked a song (such as the choir anthem on a Sunday morning) she would get goosebumps. Growing up she taught my sisters and I how to play the piano, and we three still play the piano to this day (and are teaching some of our kids how to play the piano). She loved to listen to us practice our instruments at night even when we were practicing different songs at the same time (ex. Yvonne on the clarinet, Wendy on
the violin, and me on the piano). I loved to see her smiling face out in the audience/congregation. She always gave specific feedback afterwards. I don't get that any more, and it was an adjustment the first few times I sang in a cantata or played a flute solo and my mom wasn't in the congregation. I will always miss her beautiful smile and thoughtful, encouraging feedback afterward.

5. She loved vacations, holidays, and birthdays. She helped create special memories. When she was a
child vacations were a big deal to her. Her father had a twin engine airplane and the four of them went many different places on vacation. My mother loved planning our family vacations, and I have inherited that from her. She was generous and thoughtful when giving gifts. Even this past April when she was not able to go shopping or wrap gifts, she ordered some things online and had them shipped directly to my house. She was present at almost all of my three children's birthdays each year. She will be deeply missed when these special days come by in the future.

6. She made the house a home. She had a good eye for decorating and definitely had the gift of hospitality. I wish they had kept a record of all the guests who stayed in their house the past 35 years. It would be a very large number. Although she generally kept the house very neat
and tidy, she was flexible and comfortable with chaos when there were many grandchildren in the house at the same time. Their home reflected some of the things they each loved best which would include lots of snowmen for my mom and many different Pittsburgh Steelers items for my dad.

7. She loved others. My mom had a servant's heart. It was important that we went Christmas caroling to each of our neighbors each December and gave them a loaf of bread or some cookies. She loved helping in the nursery at church, counting pennies in VBS, serving in MOPS, serving funeral dinners, etc. She and my dad made countless visits to hospitals, nursing homes, and various people's homes over the years when people were facing a serious illness. She was very humble and did not want any undo attention drawn in her direction.

8. She loved our cats. The one in the photo at the top was named Patches. Patches died a couple of months ago at the age of 22. For many years Patches had been my mom's companion on my mom's favorite piece of furniture - a loveseat rocking chair my dad bought her early in their marriage.

Although there are many differences between my mom and I (I wish for
example I was as prone to hospitality as she was), I can also see several traits I have inherited from my mom. Like her I was a teacher. She taught in a public high school in Michigan before she married my father. Like her I am now a stay-at-home mom (she was for her entire marriage - I became one at the age of 40). I have a dislike for clutter just like she did. My dad's mom used to tease her about how prone she was to tossing things, and I have received the same comments from my husband who dubbed me "the chucker" years ago. I am homeschooling my children. My sisters and I were not homeschooled, but my mom homeschooled my brother from Kindergarten through 12th grade. She taught us all how to play the piano, and I plan to do the same (have already begun with Nadia). We both really enjoy planning vacations, look for ways to be efficient, hate to be late, etc. Of course what my mom cared most that she pass on was a love for the Lord, and I am forever grateful that I was brought up in a Christian home and came to know my Savior at an early age. I have the assurance I will see my mom again in Glory some day!