A few years ago we showed up at the library story time the Friday before Halloween and discovered almost all the other children were wearing costumes. Oops! The next year I knew to have the kids in their costume for the story time closest to Halloween. This year the kids wore their costumes first at the Halloween party we attended a couple of weeks ago. Then they wore them on Sunday evening for the Trunk or Treat event I took them to at a church close to our home. If ballet hadn't been cancelled yesterday because of the hurricane, Nadia was supposed to wear her costume to class. A mom on Facebook asked the teacher if the kids could wear them next week instead; so our days of wearing costumes out in public has been extended. Although Nadia rotates between her princess dresses here at home (she wears one almost every day), she has only wanted to wear her Ariel dress for all "Halloween" events this year. Last year she was Snow White at ballet. When we were getting ready for gymnastics this morning, I packed their costumes so they could wear them at the library. They were the only kids wearing costumes at story time today. Last week Nadia brought home a flyer describing the special activities for Cubbies tonight - hay ride, crafts, games, etc. It was called a "fall festival," and there was no mention of costumes. When I dropped her off this evening, I saw all the kids running around in costumes. Oi vey. I hope it didn't bother her too much. I guess in future years I'll keep a spare costume in the van for the month of October so we'll always be prepared sunce I seem to be totally out of synch. I had gotten Ian a Thomas the Train costume at a consignment shop, but he's only wanted to wear the pirate costume this month. I feel confident that Ian and/or Oliver will enjoy wearing the Thomas one at some point.
Two days ago when Nadia and I were playing Candyland (it's her favorite game this week) she said to me, "Mommy you should concentrate." I was puzzled because I had been drawing cards and moving my piece in a very efficient manner throughout the whole game, even though I was holding Oliver at the time. She saw my puzzled face and said "or you'd be winning." Here I thought the reason I wasn't winning (at the moment) was because I had just drawn the ice cream cone card that sent me back near the start of the game! It turns out the problem was a lack of concentration, ha ha. This morning I told Nadia that the Giants and Steelers would be playing each other on Sunday. I asked her which team she was going to root for. She said she'd cheer for the Steelers with me, and then she added that Ian and Oliver should cheer for the Giants with Daddy. She said the girls will root for the Steelers, and the boys will root for the Giants. Works for me!
The last two weeks Oliver slept in the Weego during gymnastics and I nursed him at the library. That worked out well. He usually gets up for the day sometime between 5:50-7:00am. This morning he slept until 8:10. I nursed him for 15 minutes (much shorter than usual) and then gave him his bottle before we left. He screamed all the way to the gym. Holding him at the gym wasn't enough. I had to nurse him, and it's difficult to help Ian around the gym while nursing Oliver. In the future I guess I'll be waking Oliver up at 7:00am on Wednesdays, although at that point he only had slept a total of 6.5 hours so I can see why he slept another hour this morning.
Ian didn't wake up dry this morning, but he wasn't totally soaked either, and he asked to go to the bathroom as soon as he got up (and he went #1 and #2 on the potty). So I think he stopped himself in bed. I am pleased with his progress.
Paul didn't meet his advisor's deadline. This afternoon he asked her for a one day extension, which she approved. Although the last week has been very stressful, I have to say I am actually glad that she made the deadline 12 days before the deadline when he has to give it to all 4 committee members. If he really does get the draft to her tomorrow, I am confident he will meet the November 12th deadline as typically she doesn't have too many revisions that she wants him to make. He told me that he's also been working on the powerpoint for the oral part of the 11/26 defense. He didn't come home tonight. I want him to do whatever he needs to do in order to finish his PhD in 4 weeks, but I have to say I cannot wait until this time of being a single parent is over. I am exhausted. It drains me emotionally to hear Oliver screaming, but there are times I have to put him down and let him scream so I can take Ian to the bathroom or help the kids in some other fashion, and this happens more when I'm on my own 24 hours a day. Oliver was none too pleased with our trips to Cubbies this evening either. He only took one nap today (1:00-3:45pm) so he went to bed at 7:30pm (although his first stretch was less than one hour long). The upside of his early bed time was that Nadia and Ian's bedtime routine was far more peaceful. Yesterday I had to keep raising my voice when reading the devotional so that the kids could hear what I was reading over Oliver's crying (in my arms).
I found myself feeling rather agitated by the time the day was drawing to a close. I think the two main culprits were #1 feeling like a broken record with Ian and Nadia all day long and #2 wearing jeans that are rather tight in the belly area. So I tried to think of what I could do to improve these situations. First, I realized that I need to implement consequences far more quickly so I don't continue to repeat myself 50 million times a day. For example, I must remind Nadia at least 30 times a day to sit properly in her booster seat at meal times. Starting tomorrow I'm going to buckle her in to see if that helps and also have told her there will be immediate consequences when she fails to sit properly. I'm not going to continue to repeat that instruction umpteen times a day. As for the weight loss, I've thought of two things to try to get that going in the right direction again. I'm going to switch to a small bagel or oatmeal for breakfast as I've been eating too large a serving of cold cereal, and I'm going to spend time rough housing each day to burn more calories (ex. giving the kids a horsie back ride, spinning them around, etc.) in light of far fewer trips to the playground lately due to the weather. I had quite a few different pairs of capri pants that fit me, but it's not really capri pant weather any more. I literally only have one pair of pants that fit me well plus one pair that are too baggy. The vast majority of my pants have zippers plus a button or snap and those are not comfortable to wear yet. I need to lose more weight asap. It's frustrating that it's so hard for me to lose weight after I give birth even when nursing, but Oliver is absolutely worth it, and at least I don't have nearly as much to lose this time around.
Three prayer requests that are on my mind a lot right now are #1 for Paul to finish his draft of his dissertation asap, #2 for the insurance to decide to pay for far more of the bloodwork (my OB finally wrote them a letter last week explaining why the tests were medically necessary), and #3 for Paul to get a job for the spring and also next fall. I'm hoping he'll submit far more applications by the end of this week. Thus far he's just submitted one for an adjunct position for the spring. I told my department chair a few days ago that we could possibly be moving out of state before the spring semester starts if Paul is offered a job in VA or WV. I told him I'd let him know ASAP once we know.
If Paul had been home or if the weather had been nicer, I would have taken the kids trick or treating tonight. I wasn't up to taking three small children trick or treating by myself in this cold weather. I feel a bit embarrassed about the fact that Nadia will be 5 years old before she goes trick or treating for the first time (since we have yet to take her). She doesn't lack for candy though since she got more tonight. Part of the problem has been that no one trick or treats in our neighborhood. I'd have to drive (5 minutes) into town and park and take her trick or treating there. They did cancel today's annual parade due to the weather, but the trick or treating went on as scheduled. Hopefully next year Nadia and Ian will go trick or treating for the first time. Thankfully they don't realize that they've missed out on anything.
1 comment:
Hang in there, Ruth. When Rachel was a few months old, I went through a season (about three months long) when my husband saw us only about 30 minutes a day.... I'd pack up all three kids plus whatever portable dinner I could throw together, and meet him in the courtyard at his school (on weekends too... although he did go to church with us, so that was our other window of time together), and then after our 30-minute window at dinnertime, he'd work some more, come home and crash in bed later that night without a single conversation with me. We went months without any normal "family life." I'm not bitter... just saying I've been through something similar to what you're going through, and it is TOUGH to shoulder 100 percent of the parenting and household work even for a season. All I can say to encourage you is that it won't last forever. There is nothing to make it easy at the time, but just hold out hope that you will enjoy a more balanced family life eventually, hopefully very soon. In the meantime, DON'T feel guilty about any "cutting corners" you have to do... i.e. skipping the trick-or-treating, etc. I remember one friend encouraging me at the time with the words, "Your main job is to keep those three kids alive." You may think, "DUH of course that's a given"-- but that in itself is a big job. Just plain survival takes so much time and energy when the kids are little. And your kids are getting so much more than that from you, even now in this crazy busy time. If Oliver has to do a little extra crying... he will survive. Don't feel guilty, and try not to feel angry at Paul (I don't think you are angry at him, I'm just saying, it's a temptation that can creep in at such times). There will be tears but everyone will survive, and it's a temporary situation. Don't worry about what other people think, don't worry about how you compare to your ideal vision of the activities you'd envision doing with your kids at this stage... just compare your accomplishments with a reasonable goal based on your resources of that particular day. Then your conscience will be clear before the Lord and you can cast the emotional burden of it all, upon him.
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