In the arms of Jesus

My phone rang at 4:22 this morning, and when I saw it was my sister, Wendy, calling, I guessed that she was calling to tell me that mom had passed away, and I was right. I had put most of these photos in this otherwise blank post last night, and part of me thinks I should change it out and just include pictures of my mom, but my mom loved her grandchildren very much so I think it is appropriate that I include these pictures from our time in Maryland last week. I will share more pictures of her in the near future. The three pictures in this post that were taken today (with my phone) are the ones of this beautiful flower arrangement that my friend sent me today and the two of Nadia below showing her wearing makeup at her dress rehearsal today for Little Mermaid.

 My dad always reads a little Scripture to my mom and prays with her before he goes up to his bedroom (I am referring to the past 6 months). My three siblings and I joined him when we were there. Wendy and I had been taking turns sleeping on the couch in the family room next to my mom the last few weeks. Last night my mom prayed out loud for the first time in awhile. She has not had the strength to talk much lately. It was physically difficult for her to do so, but she prayed for her children. And these ended up being the last words she spoke here on earth. Wendy spent the night next to her and said that at times my mom was really struggling to breathe and at other times she slept. The next time Wendy woke up and checked on my mom she discovered my mom was no longer breathing. My mom had wanted to die in her sleep, and the Lord graciously allowed that to happen. A hospital bed had been delivered on Sunday, but she hadn't been transferred into it. My mom had been in that chair for 24 hours a day for more than a week and had spent most of her time in that chair for a few months.

I wish I had not left Maryland on Sunday afternoon, but I didn't know she would pass away about 36 hours later. I wish I had been there on Monday night to hear her final words, and I wish I was there today to help my family with making the arrangements. I have been working on a slide show for her service. I have included 100 different photos of her in it (and while working on it discovered I have taken FAR more pictures of my dad than I have of my mom). Nadia and Ian are going to sing a duet of "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus," and I am going to play "His eye is on the sparrow" on the flute. If Nadia's musical wasn't THIS week, we could have stayed, but the rehearsals this week (M-TH) were mandatory for participation in the shows (Th/Fri night). Ian is enjoying the Good News Camp (he caught his first fish today, went swimming, etc.), and all three kids are enjoying VBS. I do find comfort in knowing that I was there for 12 of her last 17 days of life since I made three trips from June 25 - July 10. My mom knew I loved her, and I knew she loved me. Wendy told her yesterday of Nadia and Ian's plans to sing a duet, and my mom nodded her head of approval. I am very happy she knew of their plan. I was wishing last week I had brought my flute to Maryland as my mom enjoyed music so much her final days (violin, singing, and piano).

Oliver doesn't grasp that she is gone. Nadia will certainly miss her but has handled it very well. Ian is the one who was bawling his eyes out when I told him, and he was in tears various other times during the day. My heart breaks for him. My great grandmothers died when I was a young child, but I didn't experience the loss of a grandma or grandpa until I was an adult. I promised my mom that I will do all I can to help all three of my kids remember her in the years to come through telling them about her, showing pictures, etc.

I had planned to attend both of Nadia's performances, but those plans have changed. I traded some of our Friday tickets for Thursday tickets this morning. I will take Oliver and Ian to Maryland on Friday morning. Ian will skip the last day of Good News Camp. The service and meal will be on Saturday. Paul and his parents will attend Nadia's show on Friday night. Nadia will stay with Grandma on Friday while Paul is at work. Paul and Nadia will leave early Saturday morning and drive right to the church for the visitation and service and then leave and head straight to Camp Susque where Nadia will be spending 7 nights. The boys and I will return to PA on Sunday night. For the last 8 years I have distinguished between the two Grandmas by using their last names (we have a Grandpa and Pop Pop so there is no confusion there). It hit me today that I should just refer to Paul's mom as Grandma because she is the only one now. I'm grateful my mom is no longer suffering and very grateful that I will see her again in Heaven, but all of us will miss her in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. Her daily emails and our almost daily chats on the phone will certainly be missed by me. Last year my parents and brother came to see Nadia's Annie performance but for the past 6 1/2 months no one from my side of the family has been joining us for these special things as they have in the past due to my mom's health and now passing. Her presence will be missed on birthdays, holidays, soccer games, basketball games, musicals, programs at church, etc. I will say that I took the news today easier than I did on Sunday when I said goodbye to her. I think Paul was expecting me to fall apart. I shed some tears, but I was far more emotional on Sunday after I said goodbye to her. I'm very grateful that her time on hospice was very short. I didn't want her to suffer any longer than necessary. My prayers were answered. Also it is a blessing that she passed before Maurice moved to Texas. I think it would have been hard for him to move if she were still alive and yet very ill. God is in control of the details of our lives.