Soccer Mom

At the end of this month I will have been a soccer mom for a full four years as Nadia started playing in the spring season of 2013. She played 3 seasons of U6, 4 seasons of U8, and now is in her first season of U10. For 1.5 years Nadia was the only one playing soccer, for two years I had two soccer players, and now this is our first season with three soccer players. Oliver technically missed the age cut-off by 6 days. If I had to do it over again, I would not have asked if he was allowed to play U6 this season or not. It would have been better to wait until next year. Live and learn. Nadia was clueless in the very beginning, and then she did fairly well the next two seasons of U6. She didn't score many goals (first one was near the end of her third season), but she kept up as far as running and was aggressive with trying to kick the ball. She had a rough start with U8 with the bigger field, but by her fourth season of U8 she was making some progress. I think she scored two goals during her two years of U8. She is again the weakest link in her U10 team. She seems to be more of a spectator on the field. When I was a child, I would never have kept asking to play on a soccer team if I knew I was at the bottom of the pile. I never expected to be at the top in anything athletic, but I liked to at least be in the middle somewhere - average was fine with me. However I have been fully supportive of her continuing to play. I realize someone has to be at the bottom, and I will cheer for her and her teammates if she wants to play soccer.

I was so clueless four years ago. I even put the shin guards on top of her socks the first time. OOPS! Along the way I learned how to do snack shack duty (I do it once per child per season - yesterday I did it for Ian's team) and what is expected when providing a snack/drink for the team (do that once per team per season also). Watching the games has become a lot easier now that Oliver is older. I enjoyed watching Nadia when she played U6 for 3 seasons. It hasn't been as enjoyable to watch her in U8 or U10 because I find myself wishing she could play closer to the level of the rest of her team. Ian was clueless his first season and

actually ran away from the ball (something Nadia never did when she was in U6), but then his second year of U6 he played really well, and it was a lot of fun to watch him as he actually was one of the better players on his team and he scored lots and lots of goals. I expected Oliver to be clueless this season, and I knew Ian wouldn't score as many goals in U8 as he did in U6, but I didn't expect him to go back to the bottom of the pile. It's hard to watch when every kid on Nadia and Ian's team is scoring goals except for Nadia and Ian. I'm hoping that Ian will play better next season. I know he has the capability from what I saw just last spring. Oliver seems to be fairly athletic so I'm also hoping in time that he will at least be an "average" soccer player.

Yesterday I was able to see all of Ian and Nadia's games because the Milton coach cancelled Oliver's game due to the threat of rain. It will be rescheduled for this week on Tuesday or Thursday night. It didn't rain during Ian's game, and it only sprinkled very lightly during Nadia's game. They may not be playing very well, but they do look cute in their uniforms!

Oops!

Originally I had planned a trip to Corning, New York in August, but then the kids and I ended up in Maryland that day helping go through my mother's things. Later I rescheduled that trip for October 10. I had planned to take the kids to the Corning Museum of Glass and the Rockwell Museum. Since the art museum is called the Rockwell Museum, I assumed it featured the work of Norman Rockwell. I got a variety of books from the library so I could prepare the kids for our field trip. When I got to the end of a biography about him, it listed several museums in the country that featured his work. I was confused as to why the one in Corning wasn't listed, and upon further investigation discovered my assumption had been wrong. This art museum is not focused on Norman Rockwell, although they do have ONE piece of his work on display. Oops! I had a good laugh over that mistake. Well teaching the kids about Norman Rockwell wasn't a bad thing  I had planned to study several different composers throughout the year; it is great to also study some artists, and the kids have never been to an art museum so I am still planning to take them to the Rockwell Museum on Monday. My other big "oops" moment yesterday was more physically painful as I went to sit down on my chair at the kitchen table while we were playing Yahtzee last night, and the chair had been moved and I just landed smack on the floor instead. Ouch!

Oliver is getting to the age where he is wanting to join in the activities that Nadia and Ian do. He asked me yesterday when he would be able to be in the homeschool gym class (next year is the answer). Although I don't think he has a comprehension of the word "science," he asked me a few times this week if he could do his science and his math. He has heard me use these words with Nadia and Ian. So he did a number train puzzle, and I had him color some pictures that focused on different types of weather. In a few months I want to begin the process of teaching him to read (working on sounds associated with letters first), but for now I am content with just letting him play while I do school work with the other two.

Many times Ian has picked up on something without me realizing it because I was teaching it to Nadia. This summer I decided to have both of them work on their addition facts together, and then this fall I decided to keep that going and work on their multiplication facts together even though that isn't usually taught in first grade. They have learned the 1, 2, and

10 times tables so far. Yesterday I just started to introduce the 3 times table, which will be harder than the first three they learned. Sometimes when I am doing flash cards with Nadia and Ian Oliver will shout out numbers as if he is doing the flash cards. He has the most uncanny timing because quite a few times the first number he has said has been the correct one. For example, once he caught Nadia off guard because he shouted "16" when I showed her a flashcard of 10+6, and he gave the answer before she did and immediately she said "how did he do that?". It has happened like that multiple times, but the truth is that he doesn't know any math facts, and it's purely coincidental. He did it again last night when I was doing the multiplication flash cards. It is funny though!

Three Pumpkins

It has been a tradition to go to the pumpkin patch each October. Last year we skipped that outing to save some money, but we've been there several other times over the years. I was planning to try a different pumpkin patch this year, but a homeschooling mom arranged a field trip to Ard's (where we've always gone), and it was MUCH cheaper than what they charge the general public on the weekends. The four of us had a hay ride, the kids played in the maze park for almost 2 hours, and we came home with three pumpkins all for a grand total of only $15. Nadia would have liked it if I had paid more to do the corn maze. We'll have to make that a priority next year. The kids were also in the newspaper today as a photographer on Monday had taken their picture at the breast cancer awareness event in our town. Nadia was on the front page (at right), and all three kids were pictured in the actual article later in the newspaper (see the bottom of this post). Some day my kids aren't going to want to wear pumpkin shirts, but thankfully they still like them. Our three pumpkins are on the front porch, and later this month we'll carve them! 

Oliver did break my heart a little bit yesterday morning though. He had a boo boo of some sort, and I offered to kiss it, as I usually do. And he promptly informed me it wouldn't help. I knew the day would come when all three of my kids would outgrow wanting me to kiss their boo boos, but it was hard to hear those words. Thankfully he does love hugs and kisses even though he now realizes they don't heal physical wounds. This caused me to then reflect on how the relationship between a mother and child is constantly changing as they grow more independent. In the very beginning they need you for just about everything, and as time passes they learn how to do more and more things on their own. Then I also started contemplating how my relationship with my mom changed over the years and how even in my 40's I still felt like I *needed* her in my life although in very different ways than when I was four, six, or eight years old. The past 15 years my mom was one of my closest friends, which is not a title I would have used to describe our relationship when I was a child. I hope some day when my children are grown that I will be one of their best friends also. 

Some things hadn't ever changed. For all forty-four years she was my biggest cheerleader. Did we see eye to eye on everything all of those years? Of course not. But my mom had the gift of encouragement, and I miss that terribly. I knew there would come a time when my mom would pass away (unless the Lord came first), but I really wasn't expecting it to be this soon. In some ways it feels wrong to use the word "soon" considering she was 71 years old, but still many people do live beyond that age and I had assumed she would live longer than she did. Even though we had six months notice (it wasn't as if she passed away in a car accident out of the blue), it still feels like it happened very suddenly. One part of me accepted the reality very early on. I remember sobbing at a homeschool gym class in the winter and someone asked why I was crying and I said "my mom is dying of cancer." Yet another part of me still almost finds the whole thing surreal. I remember her functioning pretty close to normally at Christmas, and that makes it all hard to process at times. 

As I reflect, it would be a very long list if I wrote down all the ways she influenced my life. Physically I resemble my father, but my mother left many deep imprints on my life. I think of that when I am (for example) teaching my kids to play the piano just as she taught her four children to play the piano. Am I trying to do everything exactly the way she did it? Of course not. As one example, when I was a teenager she thought it was very important for me to wear shoes with a heel to church on Sundays. I vastly prefer flats. The last time I wore a true pair of heels (some of my sandals have heels but that's not what she meant) was at my wedding more than 15 years ago. Once I was driving back to college in Ohio on a Sunday and she insisted that I wear heels ("Sunday shoes") while driving that 8 hour drive (which made no sense to me since I wasn't even going to church that Sunday due to being in the car all day). We didn't always see eye to eye, but then again I don't think there are any two human beings on the planet who always see eye to eye. 

Before this walk down memory lane becomes too verbose, I will close with one more illustration. A couple of nights ago I had a very vivid dream regarding my pregnancy with Oliver, and most of the dream was about the blood transfusions. When I woke up I was thinking about the thing that was the most upsetting to me with the first transfusion was that I was going to be alone. The thought of going into an operating room without any relatives being in the hospital was very hard for me to accept. I got myself rather worked up about it. One nurse just stayed with me and held my hand. I was forty years old, and I didn't think I could go through a surgery alone. I think this was because growing up my mom was always there (and sometimes both of my parents). I knew she was out there waiting until she could join me in the recovery room. My husband didn't realize I had this expectation, and it caused an ordeal in January 2010 when I was in the hospital having a D&C to remove Ian's placenta. I had said he could go make a quick trip home (with Ian) so he could grab a bite to eat and also bring me back some pumping

supplies I needed, and we had a miscommunication. I thought he would be back by the time I was in the recovery room, but he wasn't. I went back to my regular room, and he and Ian still weren't back. I was convinced he had to have been in a car accident (couldn't reach him by phone) so I even called down to the ER to see if he had been admitted down there. I later found out that he had no idea I wanted him there with me in the hospital when I had a surgery and had been in no hurry whatsoever to return (which was also physically painful for me because my body badly needed to get rid of some milk!). I will say that I handled the second blood transfusion during Oliver's pregnancy much better than the first. I cried a little over the fact I was alone, but I was much calmer the second time around, and considering they knocked me out only a couple of minutes after telling me they were delivering Oliver, I had no chance to be concerned that I was giving birth without any relatives in the hospital. I think the fact that I remembered my mom being with me as much as possible during my many hospitalizations and surgeries is probably part of the reason I didn't leave the hospital when Ian and Nadia were in the NICU, and why it was so hard for me to leave Oliver for part of his NICU stay. My mom was deeply loved and is deeply missed. I am thankful for the 44 years we had together, and I am going to work hard to preserve my children's memories of their Grandma, who loved them dearly.

Thankful Thursday

1. Last Thursday I took the van for its annual inspection, and it passed. The dealer where we bought our cars does state inspections for free. It took longer than usual, but the kids did pretty well with waiting. The free popcorn helped some. Usually we ask for a (complimentary) ride to the mall, but I figured it was better financially to stay out of the mall and just wait at the dealer.

2. That same day we visited an Aldi's a little farther than the dealer. I bought SO much produce because it was SO much cheaper than at the grocery store - clementines, red grapes, pears, apples, etc. Yum!

3. I appreciated the ride Oliver was given to and from his game on Saturday, and since his shirt got soaked in the rain, she gave him a sweatshirt her youngest has outgrown, which was also greatly appreciated.

4. My dad had a safe road trip from Maryland to Tennessee to Texas to Kentucky back to Maryland. Whew. That was quite the road trip in just 9 days!

5. It finally stopped raining on Sunday (after raining off and on for three days), and I was able to go for a 3 mile run that evening. I ran 3 more miles on Tuesday during soccer practice this week. I wasn't able to do so last Tuesday because they were having a cross country meet at the same time. I mowed the lawn on Monday, and we walked to a playground yesterday. More exercise is a great thing!

6. Paul came home earlier than usual from work on Friday night (got home at 5pm instead of his usual 7pm) which meant we had dinner together and had time to do a puzzle, play games, etc. He also came home earlier than usual on Saturday and waited to have lunch with us when we got home from church on Sunday. That means we had five meals together, and over the past few months we have been averaging about 2 meals together a week so that was a big improvement. He is going to try to keep coming home earlier on Fridays and Saturdays, which will be a very good thing for the kids. I grew up having dinner with my

siblings and both of my parents almost every night, and I would like my kids to experience that at least a few days a week at the minimum.

7. I love that all three of my kids are very physically affectionate. They all like to sit on my lap, be hugged, kissed, etc. Oliver is still the hand holder of the three. He's been like that his entire life. Ian still has the highest need for physical affection of the three, but all three soak it up. Many times all three are hugging me at the same time. I treasure those moments immensely.

8. Today we are headed to the pumpkin patch with some other homeschoolers. Last year we skipped it to save money, but the mom who organized it got a much better rate than what we've paid when we've gone on a Saturday. The weather has been gorgeous this week (highs in the low 70's) which is also terrific for this outing.

9. I love it when the kids ask for MORE. For example, Nadia said it yesterday when we were reading the book of Job. I read

chapters 1-3, and she didn't want me to stop. Ian often says it whenever I hit "pause" on the book we are listening to in the van (via cds from the library). Earlier this week Nadia asked me to read a third non-fiction book about Egypt (we have usually been reading two a day). Of course sometimes they have less than stellar attitudes about doing their schoolwork (they'd rather play the entire day), so I am always grateful when they ask for MORE. Ian has even asked to practice the piano more than I require which was also music to my ears.

10. The Steelers won on Sunday night, and it was a very resounding victory. They were ahead by more than 30 points so I went to bed at the end of the third quarter confident that they would win. Unfortunately Paul's game on Monday night didn't go as well. I was also thankful our games weren't on at the same time so we could each watch our game (as we only have one tv).

11. Our choir sings a wide variety of styles of music, which means that I like some anthems far more than others. Two of the songs that we rehearsed last night were simply gorgeous in my opinion. I wish we had sung one of those two the Sunday Nadia was baptized as that was the first time my dad had heard this choir. One of the songs is a song that Sandi Patty sang back in the 80's (pretty choral arrangement of it) and the other is a gorgeous new arrangement of the wonderful hymn "How Great Thou Art". If my mom had heard the latter, she would have gotten goosebumps (her measure of really liking a song).

Caramel Apple Pie

It was on this day four years ago at bedtime that Nadia surprised me by praying to accept Christ as her Savior as we were kneeling by her bed. I thought we were "just" having our nightly bedtime prayers, and I was surprised to hear what she prayed when it was her turn to pray. I wasn't sure she was really old enough to understand (albeit I was her age when I became a Christian). I didn't want her to have a false assurance, but when she kept talking to Ian (age 2 1/2 at the time) about his need to become a Christian, I realized that she understood. Growing up we celebrated our spiritual birthdays as well as our physical birthdays, and so today was Nadia's 4th spiritual birthday. Since Paul goes in to work before the rest of us get up, I let her open her present last night. Last year I got her a Bible for her spiritual birthday. This year I got her the latest Imagination Station book (about an orphan train). She has already read several chapters of the book.

Usually birthdays start with donuts, but I didn't make it to Dunkin Donuts yesterday. In hindsight I could have asked Paul to run and get some yesterday while I was at Sunday School and the kids were in their choir rehearsal. We got some today and will enjoy them tomorrow morning. Normally I let the kids pick their lunch and dinner menus on their birthdays, but today happened to be the annual breast cancer awareness event in our town. On that day many local businesses give free food at lunch time (hot dogs, soups, cookies, ice cream, pulled pork, pink lemonade, cupcakes, brownies, etc.). The kids

certainly had more desserts with their hot dogs than I would have let them have at home! We never have ice cream at lunch, but Nadia and Oliver shared a cup of strawberry ice cream, and Ian and Nadia shared an ice cream sandwich. Nadia and I were each given a pink carnation. I was thinking of the various kinds of cancer the kids' grandparents have had - skin, prostate, Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and ovarian. I still don't understand why breast cancer gets so much more attention than any other type of cancer. For one thing, there are means of screening for breast cancer which isn't the case for ovarian. Anyhow we enjoyed our lunch, and I also dropped off the paperwork at the bank to start the process of refinancing our house.

At first Nadia picked goulash and carrots for dinner, but then she changed her mind and asked for pizza from Ciro's. Paul was very happy that she chose pizza. For her dessert she picked a caramel apple pie (Pioneer Woman's recipe except without the pecans this time as I didn't have any on hand). The last time I made that recipe was almost 2 years ago - Thanksgiving 2014. I remember how much my mom loved that pie. Apple pie was one of her most favorite desserts. Her mom used to make an apple rhubarb pie that my mom loved. It was hard not to cry as I was making the pie.  I haven't been crying *as* often lately, but it still amazes me what random things can trigger an emotional response. For example a few days ago we were playing "Max" a board game that my mom gave Oliver last December. It hit me that it was the last game we received from her. I am not one to keep too many toys, games, and puzzles once my kids outgrow them, but I can tell you I am not planning on giving this game away. Oliver now refers to the game as "Grandma Harton's game" which is fine with me.

I think all in all Nadia had a good day. I also let her skip spelling and piano today in light of it being her spiritual birthday. She was hoping I'd let her skip soccer. Nope. I asked her last spring if she wanted to do soccer again this fall and she said "yes" so she needs to stick out four more weeks. She says she doesn't like playing on a U10 team. She said the same thing her first season of U8 and then later changed her mind and wanted to keep playing. We shall see if this is her last season or if she continues playing soccer in the future. She says she wants to play softball in the spring. We shall see. Celebrating spiritual birthdays is a special memory of my childhood, and I hope the same is true for my kids. Ian's is January 20, and Oliver doesn't have one yet. Mine is April 28, but we just celebrate the kids' spiritual birthdays.

Love/hate

Most things in life have positive and negative aspects to them. Take soccer for example, I love that the kids get exercise, get to experience being on a team, can improve some physical skills, etc. It was also a lot of fun for me to watch Ian's games last year when he was scoring lots of goals. I also am enjoying being able to walk or run for an hour on Tuesday and Thursday nights during their practices. But there are also moments when I cannot wait for the season to be over such as when we are rushing to eat dinner and get cleats, shin guards, etc. on by 5:00 so we can head out to practices on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Saturdays also can be a bit crazy  now that we have three kids playing and only one driver. Yesterday morning I had to have all the kids dressed in their soccer gear and out the door at 8:45 so I could take Oliver to a teammate's house, as I had arranged a ride for him to his game. Prior to our departure packed drinks and snacks for all the kids on Ian and Oliver's teams. I gave Oliver's team's snacks and drinks to the mom giving him a ride. I also made sure the kids all had umbrellas because it has been very rainy the past few days. Their soccer practices were cancelled on Thursday because of the rain, but they decided to go ahead and have the games today (I thought they'd also postpone the games due to the rain).

After dropping Oliver off we came back home, and I packed lunches for the four of us. Not long after that I drove Nadia and Ian to our home field for Nadia's soccer game. We had to leave Nadia's game a little before it was over so we could pick up Oliver and get to another field for Ian's soccer game. The nice part of yesterday's schedule was that I actually was able to see almost all of Nadia's game and all of Ian's game. Most weeks I won't see two games in their entirety because I'll be driving back and forth between fields during the games. To be honest on a rainy Saturday, I would have liked to have just stayed home yesterday. They did end Ian's game after the third quarter because it was raining so hard. Well half the fall soccer season is done. Just four more games to go, and then we'll get a break before switching to basketball games which are easier because #1 they are all inside (we won't get rained on), #2 they are all the same location (12 minutes from our house), and #3 Oliver is too young so we only have two games each Saturday during basketball season. He'll be old enough next year.

I think the thing I have the strongest love/hate relationship with is Facebook. I have at times deactivated my account, and many other times I contemplate doing so again. For one thing it can be a time guzzler, and time is a precious commodity. Secondly, for months people have been posting a lot of political stuff, and I find the presidential race to be extremely depressing to think about. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control. I have tried not to discuss politics on my blog for a few years because once someone I really cared about whom I met online about 13 years ago stopped reading my blog because I talked about politics. So hopefully I won't offend anyone this time, but the bottom line is that I have a VERY low opinion of both candidates running for President this year.  I feel like we have ended up with two of the most unworthy candidates possible. Never in my life have I been so utterly repulsed by both candidates. I have never been a fan of Obama's political views, but to me he is a far more decent human being than the two current candidates. It saddens me. So posts in favor of either candidate make me want to stop using Facebook because I try to think about it as little as possible. Also, on FB people post about a wide variety of activities, and it's easy for me to start being overly critical of myself because I don't (for example) have a garden and/or make my own spaghetti sauce. The last two years I purposefully deactivated my account around my birthday because in the past I used to get together with friends for lunch or whatever for my birthday and now that my "in real life" birthday feels like a non-event it bugs me to be inundated with happy birthday messages on Facebook. I am sure most
people love the annual deluge, but I don't as bizarre as that may sound. Of course there are things I love about Facebook. Through FB I have learned about upcoming events that I have taken my kids to, have learned about coupons and other ways of saving money, felt more in touch with friends and relatives I haven't seen in many years, been encouraged by others in hard times (such as the passing of my mom), learned more about what is happening in friends' lives (ex. my neighbor posted yesterday that her mom passed away), and the list could go on. The election will be over in less than 2 months so hopefully at least the amount of political content on FB will decrease.

I am finally almost  caught up with pics. Many of these are from our vacation 2 weeks ago. The two soccer pics below are from Oliver's first game. I forgot to bring my good camera last week, and yesterday I purposefully didn't bring it because of the rain. Hopefully later this month I will get some good soccer pics of all three kids in action in their games!

Never bored

I have had some people ask me about my job search. Well I did have one day where I put some time into searching the job ads several weeks ago. It was the first time I had done that since last spring, but I didn't actually submit any applications, and I don't plan to do so even though Paul is making less money than he made the last couple of years (a lot less money than I used to make when I was a professor). I am sure I could find a way to make time to teach an online class from home if I had to, but honestly my plate feels very full at the moment. I can't really picture adding any more responsibilities to my schedule right now. The yardwork, cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, finances, homeschooling two kids, singing in a choir, and taking care of three kids for about 14 hours a day is enough for me. It is challenging enough for me to find time for things like making a photo book once every three months, doing my homework for my Bible study, editing photos, blogging, etc. I did actually read a book recently, which was a rare treat. I finished reading An Invisible Thread yesterday morning while Oliver played in the play land and the other two were in gym class. It's not that I didn't enjoy being a professor, as I enjoyed it very much, but I just feel already on the overwhelmed side of things with Paul's work schedule so I really don't feel it's the right time to add anything to my schedule.

One thing I have been working on lately have been some financial matters. For example, I updated the contingency beneficiary on our life insurance policies and retirement accounts.
I hadn't updated the beneficiary on my retirement accounts in thirteen years. I looked into borrowing some money from my retirement accounts to put toward the house, but eventually decided against it (in part because for a refinance they only give a maximum of five years to pay it off and I was counting on the ten years that you are given when buying a home). I also have been doing research on refinancing our mortgage because the interest rate we have been paying for the last 8 years has been literally double what
the rate has been for quite awhile. Plus we had a 30 year mortgage and I wanted to get it back to a 15 year mortgage. I had 15 year mortgages with the first two houses we bought. This action will cut seven years off our current mortgage and save us $200 a month, which is a step in the right direction toward trying to live within Paul's current salary. I picked up a mortgage application and filled it out and had Paul sign it. The current mortgage is in my name only because I was the only one employed in 2008, but the next

mortgage will be in his name only since I am unemployed. I plan to drop that application off at the bank on Monday.  Refinancing the house has been on my "to do" list since May. I will be so glad when that is crossed off my list albeit I am not looking forward to paying the closing costs of a home inspection, etc.

I also finally got around to scheduling my annual doctor appointment and requested that I be tested for the BRCA 1&2 gene

mutations. The nurse said that they used to do it through bloodwork, but now they do it through a swab in your mouth. I am contemplating having a hysterectomy in light of seeing what my mom went through this year, and I would like this information before making that decision. That is scheduled to take place in December.

Thankfully, I have heard my kids say the words "I'm bored" only a handful of times over the years, but that's a phrase I can't imagine saying myself. From my perspective there aren't enough hours in the day! I would spend more time locating new recipes to try and planning our meals as one small example. For now the priority is my kids. I know these years are just going to fly by far too fast! At the bottom of the post there is a video the church posted of Nadia's baptism. It didn't matter that Paul had a technological glitch with my phone. Yahoo! Now I know if any other kids get baptized at this church not to bother trying to get a video as the church will make one. What a relief!