Twelve Embryos!!!

They wrote on my discharge instructions that they'd call "late morning" on 4/30. I was about to lose my mind by the time they called at 2:30pm. I had been carrying the phone around all day. Well we got GREAT news!! They actually decided that 13 of the 14 eggs were mature. They injected all 13. Guess what - all 13 fertilized!! Unbelievable!! Last time of the 18 injected only 7 fertilized. One of the 13 already stopped developing (only divided once). So we currently have 12 embryos. I was almost in tears yesterday when they said we "only" had 14 eggs. I thought it took 26 last time to have 7 embryos so I was scared we'd only have maybe 3 embryos this time. I never would have dreamed we'd have 12. The other surprising thing was that they are still leaning toward a 3 day transfer even though we have more than 10 (10 is usually their cut off). They said it was because only 1 of the 4 made it from day 3 to day 5 last time, but I said but that one was Nadia! Schedule wise a Saturday transfer is better for us in terms of bedrest for me, but otherwise I'd prefer a 5 day transfer. They said they'll reevaluate tomorrow after they see how the embryos are doing. I said if we still have 12 on Saturday wouldn't we wait until Monday? So anyhow I am praising the Lord that we have 12 little babies right now!!! Please pray for them to keep growing, and pray for the doctors to have wisdom regarding when to do the transfer. Thanks!!

Gratitude

I admit that yesterday afternoon/evening I was tempted to throw myself a little pity party. I was feeling very lousy, and I kept thinking that for most people conception and pleasure go together whereas for me that's definitely not true. Dr. N asked me about my ectopic pgcy, and for whatever reason I was feeling really emotional about that. I definitely felt very sad when we lost that baby, and now that we have a baby I actually sometimes feel that pain in a different way. It's more tangible now. I look at Nadia and feel the grief a little differently over having lost that baby in 2005 plus the other 6 embryos in 2007. It also hit me last night that yesterday was the first time in 10 months Paul & I went anywhere together without Miss Nadia. I wouldn't call an egg retrieval a date, LOL. We need to go on a date again. So I think it's time to focus on blessings...

1. The weather yesterday was gorgeous. I know some people love the 90's, but I thought it was perfect yesterday afternoon when it was about 70 degrees. Nadia and I enjoyed hanging out on the back porch, and then 2 girls from our neighborhood came over and played with Nadia on the swing set and slide.

2. I am glad that IVF exists. We wouldn't have Nadia without it, and hopefully this will lead to a brother or sister for her in 2010.

3. I am glad that we had the money in a CD to pay for the IVF. I shouldn't take that for granted. I am sure there are many who would love to do it but can't afford it.

4. Nadia's 3rd tooth broke through yesterday (top right), and I think the 4th will break through today (top left). I am glad that she hasn't been as fussy getting these two top teeth as she was with her first two bottom ones.

5. I am glad that the bloating has gone down considerably. Last night I looked very pregnant. Not many people look 3 months pg on the day of conception, LOL! Thankfully my belly has gone down in size as my clothing was way too tight last night.

6. I am grateful that Dr. N gave me a medicine for the nausea so that the recovery process was much better yesterday than in 2007.

7. I am very excited that in 9 days we'll be flying to Antigua. YAHOOO!

8. I am glad that the spring semester is over and that I get 3 weeks off of teaching.

9. I am glad that 12 of the 14 eggs they retrieved were mature since that was a better % than last time.

10. I am glad I get a break from all shots and needles today. The bleeding from yesterday's procedure has stopped, and hopefully the bruising on my arms will go away as I get a break from b/w for a couple of weeks until the Beta.

11. I am grateful Paul's parents could watch Nadia yesterday morning. It would have been nuts to try to watch her at the hospital.

12. I am glad I got some sleep last night. It was a challenge between the physical pain and also the emotional stress over the fertilization process. I prayed for our embies all through the night!

Retrieval is done

Last night I had one student still taking the exam at 8:20. Some had finished as early as 7:05. I let him know he had 10 more minutes. I've never had to do that before, and if it was the morning or afternoon I probably wouldn't have, but I was tired. At 8:35, I told him his time was up. I felt badly to stop him before he was done, but the final exams are two hours long. I got home about 9:15, ate a little oatmeal, and went to bed. I don't usually eat at that time of night, but I knew I wasn't allowed to eat after midnight, and usually I eat at 6am while I feed Nadia her oatmeal.

Paul's parents arrived at about 7am, and we left at 7:25am. Denise (the nurse) succeeded with her first attempt at putting in my IV (whereas it took 2 people a few tries last time). She told me that Dr. A had said yesterday he didn't want to give me anything preventatively for the nausea. I was not happy about that! Thankfully Dr. N (who is in her 2nd year of her fellowship at this clinic) was the one to review my medical history and such, and she immediately put in an order for a drug for my IV for the nausea. Yay for Dr. N! I heard her defending her decision later to Dr. A. I made sure she knew how very grateful I was.

Dr. N did the retrieval on the left ovary which from the u/s over the last week didn't have as many follicles. However it proved to be the more productive ovary as she got 10 eggs from that side. Dr. A did the retrieval on the right ovary which ended up having only 4 eggs. She said that although the right ovary did have more follicles than the left one, the largest ones were on the left side. After they got 10 out of the left side they said it looked like they'd get as many as last time (26) since they were expecting to get more from the right than the left, but that isn't what happened. I wonder why it was so different. My E2 was about the same. I was on a lower dosage of Follistim for the last 7 days of stimming so maybe that's why I only had 14 eggs this time? Of course 12 is actually the number they shoot for in an IVF cycle at this clinic so it's not like it's a bad number.

I was only in the recovery area for 2 hours this time. I actually was discharged 4 hours after I arrived (compared to being there 8 hours last time). I didn't throw up until we were in the car (twice on the way home). I never fainted either (fainted twice last time). I was able to walk to the car instead of being taken by wheelchair. Big difference! I attribute it all to being on the medicine Dr. N ordered for me. :-) They prepared and inspected all the eggs and declared 12 of them to be mature. They injected each one of those (ICSI). Last time 18 of 26 eggs were mature and 7 fertilized. So the good news is that at least a higher % of the eggs were mature this time around (12/14 vs. 18/26). They said overall the eggs looked to be of a better quality this time around. So hopefully our fertilization percent will be better this time around. Last time it was 7 out of 18 which was really low. They'll call tomorrow with that report and depending on what it is that might determine when the embyro transfer will be. So please pray that those eggs will become embryos and grow, grow, grow!!!! As Paul said, Nadia is proof that it only takes one. :-)

Paul had to leave about 3:30 for a meeting at PSU this evening. So I'm home alone with the peanut. Normally I wouldn't mind that at all, but I don't exactly feel great right now. I am very, very sore. My ovaries are very bloated, etc. At least I kept down the egg salad sandwich and grapes I ate a couple of hours ago. Nadia and I had those for "lunch" (around 2:30pm). She loves grapes and also egg salad sandwiches - a girl after my own heart. :-) I napped on the couch during her 2nd nap, and I plan to go to bed right after I put her down at 7pm. I graded a few exams in the hospital after the IV was hooked up, but I think the rest will have to wait until tomorrow.

Thanks for praying for my retrieval, and I would greatly appreciate prayer for the fertilization process and development of any embryos that we might have!!! The photos today are of another tulip that opened in the front yard yesterday, and of Pop Pop walking with Nadia outside today.

No Shots!

I get a break from shots. Yay! Today I get an entire break from needles. Tomorrow I won't have any shots, but I will have an IV. Hopefully they will have an easier time getting it in than they did 2 years ago when it took a few different people stabbing me multiple times before they succeeded. Not Fun. I think Thursday will be "needle free" as well. I believe the PIO shots will begin on Friday. At least they are only once a day (compared to twice a day with a FET). Those definitely hurt more as they are IM shots (much bigger needles than the ones I've had the last 3 weeks).


Either I misheard her, or the nurse misspoke, but my E2 was 1,936 on Saturday. I thought she said fourteen hundred. I was a little surprised when she said that as that would have been a very small jump from Thursday. Nineteen hundred makes more sense. My E2 hasn't been jumping as fast as 2 years ago when it used to double every two days, but I've been on a lower dose of Follistim. I think in part that's because Dr. A is in charge, and he's more conservative than Dr. G who was in charge in 2007. In the end though my E2 is almost identical. It was 3,224 after 10 days of stimming in 2007 and 3,198 after 10 days this time around. I hope that means they'll be able to retrieve a similar number of eggs. :-)

I actually stayed up until 11pm last night in light of the shot. I woke up rather tired and said I would take a nap during Nadia's first nap, but I ended up choosing to grade final exams during her first nap. Maybe I'll nap during her second nap. The Ovidrel was really nice. It's much easier than hCG - no mixing involved and it's a subq rather than an IM injection.

Regina is having her ER on Thursday. Please pray for her as well! They believe she has more than 20 mature follies which is amazing considering her last ivf cycle was cancelled (not good enough to even convert to iui).

Trigger Tonight!

At 11pm tonight I'll have my 42nd belly shot (just counting this month). I'd like to say it's the last one I'll ever have, but that would only be the case if we saw a heartbeat in a few weeks AND didn't have any frozen embies. So I'll just say it's the last belly shot I'll have for at least a few weeks. It's the first time I've had a trigger shot that was subq. The nine trigger shots I've had thus far were IM (in the butt). This one is Ovidrel whereas the other 9 were hCG. We left the house a little before 8am, and Nadia slept almost the whole way there. She was awake during the 45 minutes we were at the hospital, and she cried part of the way home until she fell asleep again.

My retrieval is set for 9am on Wednesday. We are to arrive at 8am so they can get the IV going etc. Paul's parents are going to come up and watch Nadia. We're supposed to be done around 1pm. Last time we left a lot later than that since I was throwing up for 5 hours and fainting every time I stood up. I was about to be admitted overnight, but I asked if I could be taken to the car by wheelchair. Please pray it will go more smoothly this time, but actually the most important prayer request is for the fertilization process on Wednesday. We want to hear a good report on Thursday that we have some embryos!!!

90 degrees in April?!?

It feels like summer is here already. I hope we get a few more weeks of SPRING temps (60's-70's)! I just don't expect the temps to get into the 90's in April in Pennsylvania! In light of the warmer than usual temps and the fact that Nadia was on my back in the Snugli, I didn't mow the whole lawn yesterday. I asked Paul to finish the job. There are moments when I wish we hadn't sold our riding mower to the people who bought our house. I have no regrets over selling the snow blower as our driveway here is MUCH shorter, and Paul only had to shovel once this winter. Our last house had over 2 acres, and this one has a little less than 1/2 acre so after you subtract the part of that which the house occupies, it didn't seem like that big of a lawn. Well most of our neighbors have riding mowers, and their properties are about the same size as ours. I prefer exercise where you are actually accomplishing something to say doing aerobics in front of the tv which is part of the reason I thought we should sell the riding mower. Well hopefully we'll enjoy the exercise of mowing this summer.

It was so hot yesterday and today that we needed to water some of the flowers today. I was able to salvage some hyacinth (mostly white and one is pink) and a few other perennials when we dug up the ground cover. I was waiting to see what color the tulips would be, and one bunch is a beautiful shade of purple! YAY! I love tulips!!! We still need to tackle removing more ground cover and putting down more mulch one of these days. The trees have blossomed. I can't wait to eat some apples from our two apple trees this summer! One of our neighbors planted blueberry plants a couple of weeks ago. I wish I was more motivated to grow more fruits and veggies, but I'm not. For now I'll stick with flowers and apples. I wonder if the owners of our two previous homes are enjoying the perennials I planted. I miss the phlox. I need to plant some of those so I can enjoy them next spring.

Yesterday in addition to mowing the lawn I typed up 6 documents for the packets of the 3 candidates we hope will join our department in the fall. Today I finally finished grading the papers I started grading last Wednesday. This week I'll be grading final exams and then calculating and posting course grades.

Yesterday was the monthly ladies breakfast. I couldn't attend due to the RE appt. I told the lady in charge the reason why and asked her to mention my prayer request to those who attended. I told the choir this morning that I was doing ivf and would appreciate prayers for the ER and ET which hopefully will take place this week. I figure I won't be at choir rehearsal on Wednesday due to the ER or church on Sunday due to being on bed rest after the ET. Assuming we find out tomorrow that the ER will definitely be on Wednesday, I want to make sure we have someone who can watch Nadia that day. Then once we know how many embies there are I'll schedule a massage for either Saturday or Monday (3 day or 5 day transfer). I had a massage right before the last two embryo transfers. I have begun taking baby aspirin. My RE doesn't suggest it, but most do. I didn't take baby aspirin with the fresh transfer, but I did remember to take it with the FET, and since that transfer was a success I want to take it again in case that is necessary for me to get a BFP. The first time I took baby aspirin during a cycle was the first time I got pg (miscarriage in 2005) so maybe baby aspirin is important for me to take! I need to buy some more as I only have a few left from 2007.

Nadia is teething again. I think the two front teeth (top) are going to break through in the next few days. She's a bit fussier due to that unpleasantness. I need to buy some more Tylenol or Motrin for her. I hope they come in before we go on vacation. Two weeks from today we'll be in Antigua!!

E2 Levels

Last night Nadia did sleep the whole way home, but the problem was that I wanted to be sleeping too! I won't leave that late again if I am traveling alone with Nadia. If Paul is with us, that's fine as he can drive, but if it's just Nadia & I, I need to leave earlier than that especially considering they are doing road construction all over the place. The trip took longer than usual which didn't help. Nadia woke up when we got home, but Paul took over and I went straight to bed. He said it didn't take him too long to get her back down. That time of being awake around 11pm helped her sleep in until 7am which was appreciated! This also meant her naps were more at a reasonable time today (9am and 1pm) whereas usually they're about 8am and noon. My brother took issue with the fact that Nadia went down for a nap at 8:15am yesterday at about the time he was getting up for the day, LOL.

In 2007 this is the pattern my E2 went when I was on 150iu both of Follistim and Repronex (the number in parentheses indicates after how many days of stimming): 22.9 (-1), 166.6 (3), 444.3 (5), 1,043 (7), 1,612 (8), 3,224 (10). This is how it's gone so far this time around during which I started at the same dosage of Follistim and Menopur as 2007 but then dropped to 75iu on the 4th day: 8.7 (-2), 511.8 (3), 693.9 (4), 1,267 (6), and fourteen hundred something or other (8). I expected it to be higher than it was today, but it was actually good that it wasn't. If it had been as high as Dr. A & I were expecting, then I would have triggered tomorrow night and had the ER on Tuesday. An ER on Wednesday is better for 2 reasons. First of all my last exam is Tuesday night, and more importantly Dr. A thinks I'll have a greater number of mature eggs at ER if we can hold off until Wednesday. He said it was dependent on my E2 level. During the u/s he measured 21 follies that were between 11-17mm. Many of them were about 13mm. There were only about 5 that were 15-17mm which is why he was hoping my E2 wasn't so high that I'd have to trigger tomorrow. He wanted to give the other follies more time to grow. So I am to stay at the same dosage and come back on Monday morning. They are expecting I'll trigger Monday night (in 2007 I also triggered after 10 days of stimming) and have the ER on Wednesday. When he looked at the screen and saw soooo many follies (there were more than 21 - those are just the ones he measured), I said well you retrieved 26 eggs from me in 2007. He said it looks like I'm heading toward about the same number. I am glad since it took 26 eggs to end up with one baby that time. So please pray that lots of these eggs will be the "right" size on Monday morning when I have my u/s. I will run out of Menopur on Sunday night, and I really don't want to deal with the hospital pharmacy on Monday. I already have my trigger shot. If I need to stim one more night (Monday night), I am hoping that I could just do Follistim as I still have plenty of that at home. Well hopefully I'll trigger Monday night instead of having more stims. The only downside of not triggering tomorrow is that it means my poor arm has to be stabbed yet again on Monday morning. It was very painful today, and normally b/w doesn't bother me at all. That poor vein has been stabbed 4 times in 6 days. Well if this leads to another little one in our arms, it will all totally be worth it!

10 months old!

Yesterday my E2 was 1,267, and thankfully my P4 was very low (less than 1) which is what they want to see at this stage. Dr. A measured 7 follies (6 on the right and 1 on the left) that were 11-13mm and said there were lots of small ones on both sides (he considers small less than 10mm). I go back tomorrow morning for b/w and another u/s. I am guessing I'll trigger on Sunday or Monday and have the ER on Tuesday or Wednesday. The phlebotomist tried to use my right arm, but only one little squirt of blood came out. So she had to use my already very bruise up left arm. It's now green, yellow, purple, etc. Dr. A wanted me to stay at the same dosage (75iu of Follistim and 75iu of Menopur). Although Menopur is a little easier on the belly than Repronex, it still burns the most of the 3 different meds going into my belly. Dr. A said he expects to see many more follicles over 10mm tomorrow. He seemed pleased which was reassuring to me. Tomorrow Paul can watch Nadia at home during my appt. Let me say it's a challenge to hold a baby in your arms while your legs are in stirrups. She'll sit in the stroller while my blood is drawn, but the u/s takes too long so I didn't put her in the stroller yesterday during my u/s.

We arrived at my parents' house at about 2:45pm. She slept the first 45 minutes of the trip and then stayed awake and was happy for another 90 minutes as long as I periodically reached back and fed her a few Cheerios and kept singing songs along with her CDs which I had brought for the trip. Around 1:15 she started screaming. I thought maybe she'd fall back asleep, but once I was certain she wasn't, I pulled off at the next exit and we spent some time in Wendy's where I changed her diaper, fed her a banana, and let her get some wiggles out. She cried a little once we got back in the car, but then she slept about 40 more minutes. She woke up just a little before we got to my parents' house. She enjoyed playing with Grandma's toys (some of which were mine as a child and others were purchased when my brother was a baby) and of course enjoyed chasing their cat, Patches. Patches got her exercise running away from Nadia.

Then we celebrated my bday at a Mexican restaurant. The food was delicious although I ate too much! We shared an order of sopapillas for dessert; I hadn't had sopapillas in years. We used to eat them when we lived in Texas (1978-1980). Then when the waiter found out we were celebrating my bday, he came back with a sombrero for me to wear while they sang to me and presented me with fried ice cream (complete with a candle!). So then we shared that dessert. Nadia liked the vanilla ice cream. :-) When we got back home I opened my presents. Maurice got me a book for Nadia about Beluga whales, and my parents got me Steeler stuff (a polo shirt, socks, plastic sign for my office, and a Hines Ward jersey). I am very glad to have the polo shirt as it's something I could wear to school if the Steelers win a playoff game or something like that. I really wanted something to wear to work after the last 2 Superbowl victories and didn't feel a t-shirt was appropriate attire.

This morning I left about 7:30am to take the Metro into DC to the Convention Center. The first session I attended was excellent. The second one I could have done without. I spoke at 12:30 and about 60 people attended my session. I think probably more would have come, but they didn't give a lunch break, and I think many were going to lunch at that time. I am not saying I think over 1,200 would have come to my session as was the case for the 1st one I attended, but I do think I would have had over 100 if mine had been in the morning. After my session I went back home. I missed my girl!! She turned 10 months old today!! She did really well for my mom except she cried a lot before her 2nd nap (only made one whimper when my mom put her down for her 1st nap). A couple of pastors and their wives from the church where my Dad is pastor are coming over for dinner. I plan to leave about 7pm so that Nadia will hopefully sleep all the way home. I'd stay longer if I didn't have a b/w and u/s appt tomorrow morning at 9am.

Meow!

The first animal sound Nadia learned to say is "meow." Let me tell you I am definitely jealous that not only has she said dada for months before saying mama, but meow came before mama, and we don't even have a cat! If we had a pet, I'd understand this more. Oh well. Some day (hopefully soon!), she'll say mama. I know I'm her favorite person on the planet even if she doesn't say my name yet. :-) I noticed she was making a sound similar to meow after hearing it on the "See & Say" toy. So I pulled the lever to have the dog, bird, etc make their sounds and sure enough she only made her little meow sound after the cat. Later in the day if I said "meow" she'd say it back to me. It's soooo cute!!!

This morning we're headed to the RE for an u/s and b/w. I can tell there are a lot of follicles growing as my ovaries are getting very tender. My left arm is very bruised. I am definitely offering the phlebotomist my right arm today. Hopefully she won't have trouble getting blood out of it. That arm is not nearly as "cooperative." My belly is fairly bruised up also. I've had 29 shots in my belly so far this cycle. Tonight's shots will be #30-31. I should be getting near the end of belly shots though. I would think the latest I'll be stimming is Sunday. Presuming the RE says I don't have to come back tomorrow (I'm assuming Saturday will be my next appt), I'll be driving to MD from the RE and hopefully arriving by 2pm. My parents are taking me out to eat tonight to celebrate my bday. At first I was leaning towards Olive Garden as that would be better for Nadia (I'm sure she'd love the breadsticks and I know she likes pasta), but I think I'll pick a Mexican restaurant as Paul doesn't like Mexican food so I can easily go a year or more without going to one. I may not have been to an Olive Garden in a long time, but I have had pasta more recently.

Tomorrow morning I'll be headed to the Convention Center in DC for the NCTM annual conference. Another prof told me on Tuesday that this one pays you $2 per person who attends your session. I've never been paid to speak at a conference before. I hope lots of people come to my session. Sometimes I have less than 10 people, but the last time I spoke at this venue (a different conference however) I had well over 100 people attend my session. Maybe that will happen tomorrow! :-)

The weather didn't cooperate yesterday as far as taking a walk, and I didn't finish the grading like I hoped to, but I did accomplish my other goals. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous starting tomorrow, and in fact they are forecasting a high of 87 on Saturday for our area in PA. Unbelievable! I am not really wanting the 80's yet, but considering how cold it was on Monday this week, I won't complain. :-)

Thirty Seven

Well I can't say if I had my choice I'd pick to spend 90 minutes at the hospital and 6 hours at work on my bday, but it's still a very special bday since it's the first one to spend with my daughter!!! I became a mom in June 2005 so April 2006 was really my first bday as a mom, but last year was the first that I really felt like a mom as I could feel my little girl kicking inside me. Oh how I used to dread bdays for awhile there. I just couldn't believe I still wasn't a mom yet. It's so nice not to feel depressed about my bday this year! It still bothers me a little in the sense that I know that "clock" is really ticking in terms of having any more children, but that is NOTHING compared to wondering when I will finally hold my first little one in my arms. She's the best bday gift possible!!! This morning she was nice enough to wait until 6am to wake up. The only other day she slept in that "late" in the past more than a week was on Saturday. She was nice to Daddy and slept in until 6:30am (he gets up with her that day and I get up with her the other 6 days of the week). I opened 4 presents this morning - 2 from my sister who lives in Turkey (a picture frame and a purse) and 2 from my hubby (a curling iron as mine is broken and a camera mask to take pictures while snorkeling in a few weeks). Nadia still hasn't quite figured out the whole tearing wrapping paper off gifts thing yet. I'm sure sometime in the next year she'll figure it out. :-) Last night when I got home from class I mentioned that my Aunt Tina had called to wish me a happy bday. Paul said, "But your bday isn't until Wed." I said my bday is tomorrow! I am glad we had that conversation last night! He hadn't forgotten that my bday was on the 21st, he just though the 21st was on Wed. OOPS!

As I reflect a little on my bday I was thinking about the fact that 5 years ago I was supervising 20 student teachers at another university and we had recently done our first round of inj (Bravelle). Ten years ago I was the principal of a Christian school, working on my doctorate, and had been dating Paul for 2 years (we got engaged in 2000). Fifteen years ago I was teaching middle school in Maryland and working on my master's degree (which I completed that summer in South Carolina). Twenty years ago I had one month left of high school and was doing a lot of babysitting. Back then I probably thought a 40 year old was "middle aged." I don't think that any more! Actually I haven't thought that for at least 10 years now. Frankly 50 is starting to sound pretty young these days. :-) Isn't it funny how your perception of what age is "old" keeps moving as you grow older? Of course 37 is 1/2 of 74 so it's possible I am not too far from the middle of my life, but I refuse to consider myself middle aged much less "elderly" even if that's the label on my medical record.

The doctor appt went well this morning. The only hassle was at the pharmacy. Calling in my refill did me no good as even though there was no one in front of me and they went to check to see if they had 2 vials of Follistim right when I checked in at 8:30, they still didn't give me my 2 vials until 9:22. I wasn't a very happy camper trying to keep Nadia entertained without toys after the Cheerios ran out. I need to find a new pharmacy. The hospital's is just plain annoying. They gave me 1/2 of the Rx for the Menopur the first time (10 out of 20 vials), but they are only giving me 2 vials at a time of the Follistim even though my Rx was for 12 vials total. If they had given me at least 4 vials last week (1/3) then I wouldn't have had to come back today. Well hopefully 4 will be enough ,and I won't need to go back. The u/s showed lots of small follicles (the biggest were 9-11mm). The RE said what he wants to see now is quantity and not any that are really big. He was pleased with the number and the fact that none were big yet. YAY!

Yesterday my E2 was 511.8 (compared to 8.7 before I started the stimming). Lowering my dosage of Follistim helped as my E2 was 693.9 today (after 4 days of stimming). As a point of comparison, in 2007 my E2 was 166.6 after 3 days of stimming so you can see for it to be 511.8 after 3 days was a big difference. Last time I stayed at 150iu of Follistim and 75 of Repronex the whole time. I am not sure if the difference is Menopur is stronger than Repronex or if it's because I'm on a smaller dosage of Lupron or some other reason. Last time after 5 days of stimming I was at 444.3 and after 7 days at 1,043. I go back Thursday morning for b/w and u/s which will be after 6 days of stimming. I need to have them use my right arm that time as my left arm is REALLY hurting me today as I've only been using that one for the b/w. After the appt on Thursday, Nadia & I will be driving to MD to spend some time with my parents and brother as I'm speaking at a conference for math teachers (NCTM) in DC on Friday.

Shopping for Daddy

Saturday afternoon the 3 of us headed to the mall to buy some clothes for Paul for our vacation while his car was being inspected at Sears. The last time he bought swimming trunks was 2001 in preparation for our honeymoon. He needed a larger size; so Saturday we bought Paul 2 pairs of swimming trunks, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 t-shirts, and 2 short sleeved polo shirts all for about $100. I was tempted to get myself a new swimsuit also as I haven't had a new one in several years either, but we had already shopped for about one hour and Nadia was getting fussy. Since #1 I haven't reached my goal weight (although I have lost 30 lbs total and am currently 8 lbs from my goal) #2 I am hoping my belly starts expanding in the not too distant future due to being pg, and #3 shopping is a lot harder with a little one, I haven't been buying clothes for myself the last 10 months.

I had blood drawn at my primary care doctor at 10am. I guess I should have taken the 7:45 appt they first offered me, but I was trying not to interfere with Nadia's nap, and 10am is soon enough after her first nap is over that I knew it wouldn't interfere with her 2nd nap. In hindsight I could have gone at 7:45 by myself as Paul didn't leave until much later. The nurse called at 1:30 to say they didn't have my results yet so they were just going to assume that #1 I should stay at the same dosages and #2 that I should go in for my first u/s tomorrow. They had told me last week my first u/s would be either this Tues or Wed depending on the b/w results from Monday. Around 4pm as I was calling the pharmacy to refill my Follistim, they called back and said they did get my results and they were higher than anticipated. I usually ask for a precise number, but I figured I could just check online later. Wrong. My results aren't posted yet online! Ugh. They said to keep my Menopur the same (75iu) but cut back my Follistim from 150iu to 75iu. Wow, how high was my E2 for them to cut my Follistim in half? The last ivf cycle they kept it at 150 the whole time, but other inj/iui cycles it was cut back to say 125 or something like that. The last time my E2 was 166 after 3 days of meds. I wish I knew what it was today, but I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out. So please pray that my E2 doesn't go up too high. I don't want my cycle cancelled due to overstimulation. I wonder if it's because they cut my Lupron back from 20 units to 10 units a day?

My u/s and b/w is scheduled for 8:00 tomorrow morning. I am hoping that Nadia will sleep on the way to the doctor and also the way home. That still won't equal her normal morning nap (which has been 90 minutes lately), but hopefully her afternoon nap will be longer than usual tomorrow as it's only been 30 minutes lately. Not Good. Today it was only 25 minutes long!!! Tomorrow will be a long day as I'll be participating in interviews from 1:15-4:30 and then teach from 5:00-7:15pm. I am praying for good news tomorrow from the u/s and b/w.

Spring is Here!

Spring has technically been here for about one month, but it has really felt like spring the last few days. Yesterday I took great delight in wearing my new sandals to work (along with pants and a short sleeve blouse). I love it when the temps are in the 70's. I wouldn't mind living in a place where this was what the weather was like most of the year. I love wearing sandals as long as they don't have anything that's supposed to go in between my toes. I wear them as much as possible. I also like it when it's warm enough that I can wear them without nylons. This means it's time to start painting my toenails again. That task will be much easier to accomplish than it was at this time last year.

Nadia and I went for a walk again yesterday morning, and Paul's parents took her for another walk in the afternoon. She got to enjoy the outside for quite awhile with them on her swing, in her stroller, etc. I had meetings at work at 1, 2, and 3. I left the 3rd meeting at 4pm even though it wasn't over yet. I stopped and got pizza on the way home. I was home about one hour before I left again to go to the Jamie Slocum concert. I felt badly about leaving Nadia again as she was very clingy since I had been gone for 4 1/2 hours, but I really wanted to go to the concert. I was supposed to meet Cheri for dinner at Subway before the concert, but I was running late in part because Paul had trouble getting the Menopur shot ready. I gave myself the Follistim shot easily as I've been on Follistim 7 other cycles. The concert was nice, and we had a little time to chat before it started.

Estrogen Rise Here We Come

During IVF they really mess with your hormone levels. First, they use Lupron to make your estrogen lower than normal during the supression stage (which I've been in for 10 days). My E2 was 8.7 on Wednesday and normally (pre-menopause) it would never be that low. As a comparison, mine was 22.9 at the start of my fresh cycle in 2007 and 8.8 at the start of my frozen cycle a few months later that year. After 10 days of stimming my E2 was 3,224 with the first ivf. So in the next 10 days or so my E2 is going to sky rocket. As a point of reference, in an unmedicated cycle when a woman ovulates one egg her estrogen usually reaches about 200 around ovulation time. So that helps you understand that 3,000 is REALLY high. The fsh shots I am starting tonight cause the follicles to grow (with eggs inside), and as they grow they produce more and more E2. So the 2 ways of knowing what's going on in terms of follicle development are ultrasounds (to measure their size) and bloodwork (to see how much E2 is rising).

Yesterday Nadia and I enjoyed a walk around our neighborhood. In the past she'd start fussing before I got very far from the house, but yesterday she lasted 25 minutes before she started fussing. I'd like to take a walk every day whenever the weather permits. I think the fact that we could hear birds and such made the walk more interesting for her. It was in the high 60's yesterday, and it's supposed to be in the 70's tomorrow. YAY! That is just perfect weather in my opinion! We also spent some time on the back porch enjoying the sunshine.

I share most of my food with her these days. Yesterday I tore her grilled cheese sandwich into little pieces and put them on her tray. She fed herself the sandwich. :-) She also enjoyed sharing the quiche with me the last couple of days that I made on Wednesday. She also has enjoyed eating the ziti I made on Tuesday. She's not crazy about yogurt lately, but she still loves cottage cheese. I usually mix her daily serving of veggies in cottage cheese.

Unfortunately she's waking up before 6am again. This week she has been waking up sometime between 5:15-5:40am. I've tried putting her to bed earlier (6:45) and later (7:45), but still she's waking up very early. Last night she got less than 10 hours of sleep. That means including her 2 naps she's getting about 12 hours of sleep total. I wish she could go back to sleeping 11 hours at night and not wake up before 6am. Hmmmmm

Hurry Up and Wait

This morning Nadia had her very first eye doctor appointment. Given everyone in my family and Paul's family wears either contacts or glasses, I am quite certain she will be seeing the eye doctor many more times in her life. Paul didn't get his first pair of glasses until he was in his mid twenties, and I got them in elementary school. I didn't really think Nadia needed to be seen at this stage, but since I already declined to fill the Rx for flouride for Nadia I thought I had better not decline the opthamology referral from her pediatrician as well. I figured she'd either think I wasn't a very good patient or a very good mom. Well if I had to do it over again, I wish I had just skipped this appointment as we had QUITE the day. The good news is that she passed the eye exams with flying colors. He doesn't predict she'll need glasses at an early age. Although I don't want her to have keratoconus like Paul does, it would be nice if she could wait until her 20's to need contacts or glasses like her Daddy.

A friend of mine was going to come over for lunch so she could meet Nadia. She used to teach 1st grade at the school where I was principal, and we've stayed in touch although we only see each other about once a year. The last time I saw her was at Cracker Barrel when a few ladies gathered to give me baby gifts last year. This morning she called to say she wasn't feeling well and would need to reschedule. In light of that, I decided to call the RE to see if my appt scheduled for tomorrow could be moved to today since we were already going to be at that hospital today for Nadia's eye 10:40 eye appt. They said they had an 11:00 opening with a different RE so my appt was moved to today. It turned out to be a long ordeal....

1. We left the house at 9:50am as I wanted to get to the eye dr a little early to have a better chance of making the 11:00 appt on time as Dr. A is always very prompt so I figured it would be the same with Dr. O.

2. We arrived at the eye doctor at about 10:25 (after a long walk that involved 2 different elevators, etc.).

3. At 10:50 I could tell that we probably weren't going to be seen any time soon as there were MANY children in the waiting room that were there when we arrived who hadn't been seen by Dr. W yet. I mentioned to the nurse that I had another appt at 11:00, and she suggested I go to that appt and come back because they were really running behind.

4. I arrive at the fertility clinic 5 minutes before my scheduled appt only to find out Dr. O tends to always run really late (I've never been seen by him before). I have my b/w done. At 11:10 the receptionist suggests I go back to the eye doctor.

5. We arrive back at the eye doctor (keep in mind there is a very LONG walk involved between these two offices). After waiting a few more minutes, Nadia has her very brief (less than 5 minute) exam. Then after she has drops put in to dilate her eyes they suggest come back after I've had my u/s.

6. We arrive back at the RE at 11:40 and after waiting 10 minutes the receptionist says I should come back at 1pm. I have had a full bladder for the past 2 hours because that's needed for the trial transfer.

7. We arrive back at the eye doctor at about noon. I am hoping that we won't have to wait long for the 2nd half of Nadia's eye exam, and then I plan to take her to Donna's house so Nadia can take a nap and stay with Donna while I have my RE exam. Unfortunately we have to wait a LONG time for the eye doctor to give her another less than 5 minute exam. We didn't leave the eye doctor until about 12:50. I brought puffs for Nadia, and we had shared a banana earlier, but I am getting really hungry and have a bad headache from my blood sugar dropping.

8. When we left the RE at 11:50 I asked that they call in my Rx to the pharmacy so I can at least accomplish that while waiting for my 1pm appt. After we leave the eye doctor I stop at the pharmacy only to find out that they haven't filled it yet (one hour later). They said they have everything in stock except they only can give me 600iu of Follistim (the RE made first Rx for that for 1,200iu). I thought it would just take a few minutes since they had gathered all the meds to see if they had them in stock. So I went next door to the snack shop and bought myself some chocolate pudding to see if that would help my headache go away.

9. After eating my pudding, I check back at the pharmacy only to find out it's still not ready. It's now 1pm, and I'm supposed to be at the RE. So we never made it to Donna's house. Nadia sleeps in my arms while we walk back to the RE (and I'm pushing her empty stroller). We arrive at the RE, and Nadia stays asleep until the nurse asks me to disrobe for the exam. So I put Nadia back in the stroller and get myself up on the exam table. And we wait. We waited more than 20 minutes. My girl could have slept longer in my arms!!! I'm trying to entertain her while holding a sheet around my waist.

10. Finally the doctor arrives; so Nadia goes back in the stroller. She was happy during the first part of the exam while I made faces at her, but then she starts crying. Thankfully the receptionist comes and gets her and keeps her the rest of the exam. Dr. O did the trial transfer and baseline u/s. He tells me the thickness of my lining which I am used to, but this was my 13th baseline u/s and it was the first time follicles were mentioned (one as big as 12mm) and he even referred to one as a possible endometrioma. He's the 7th RE to do an u/s on me and the first to mention this. I've had one HSG (2004), two SHG's (2007 & 2009), and I don't even want to count how many u/s since we started fertility treatments in 2003. I admit I was getting a little stressed out that I wasn't going to get the "green light," but then they told me to start the stimming on Friday. Whew...

11. So we head back to the pharmacy (let me tell you I got LOTS of exercise today) and pick up the meds. I had asked for Menopur instead of Repronex this time. Wow is it WAY more expensive!! If I was paying for these myself, I would definitely opt for Repronex. I'd endure a few extra side effects to save over $1,000, but since the insurance is paying, I'll try the Menopur. The bill for what I picked up today was $4,008.42, and I was responsible for $80.27 of that. I am very grateful the insurance pays for most of it.

12. We were at the hospital for a total of 4 hours and including driving time were gone from home for 5 hours. During that 4 hours we were seen by doctors for about 20 minutes total. Nadia slept about 15 minutes in the car on the way home, and that messed her up enough that she wouldn't take a 2nd nap once we got home. I am glad tomorrow we don't have to go back to the hospital! My next appt is just for b/w on Monday morning at an office only 15 minutes away from home. I think on my way to work on Monday afternoon I'll need to stop at the pharmacy and get the other 600iu of the Follistim as I'm starting at 150iu of Follistim and 75iu of Menopur a day (plus continuing the Lupron).

Sorry the post was so lengthy. The bottom line is that Nadia's eyes are fine, and I got the green light to start stimming on Friday. Praying this leads to a BFP!

HPTs arrived

Recently I bought a pack of my favorite (FRER) hpts on eBay. It was a little less than $30 for 10 of them, and that's much cheaper than if I bought them at Walmart. Assuming things go "as planned," I will likely be about 17dpo the day we fly back from Antigua. I ususally cave around 12dpo, and I know there is NO way I could wait until 17dpo to find out even though my Beta will likely be scheduled for about 18dpo. When I look at hpts I have such a mixture of emotions. It's sort of a "love/hate" relationship. There's a strong emotional response to the result whether I see one line or two. For years I only had the negative response, but in 2005 and especially in 2007 I loved staring at those two beautiful lines. I still have some of those bfps in fact. Not too many people save something that has come in contact with urine, LOL! Looking at the hpts that came in the mail today caused my heart to race a bit. I am glad we'll be on vacation during the 2ww. It will really be a very wonderful distraction especially if I only see 1 line as I have most of the times I've used a hpt.

Yesterday I hit quite a traffic jam on the interstate on the way to work. I was late, but thankfully no students were waiting to seem me during my office hours. It was one of those times when I wished I had a GPS as if I had gotten off an exit sooner I wouldn't have been late (as it was I still got off one exit sooner than usual after taking 20 minutes to go 2 miles). Although I was annoyed at the time, afterward I thought that really it's amazing that this was the first time this happened to Paul or I since we moved to our new house considering how long our commutes are (especially Paul's). At least neither of us have been late for class or a meeting.

Nadia's runny nose started to clear up on Saturday (day 11), and it's almost 100% clear today. YAY! She's getting really good at standing without holding on to anything. She can bend down and pick up something without losing her balance. She often stands for a minute or longer without holding on to anything. A few times a day she takes a couple of steps without holding on to anything. She was really fussy yesterday for Paul while I was at work. Hopefully she'll be better for him today.

Ribbon and Crumbs

I have been sweeping the kitchen floor more frequently because a certain someone tends to drop things on the floor like Cheerios. Today I decided I need to be even more diligent in my floor cleaning efforts as Nadia is the human vacuum cleaner and proceeds to put in her mouth any little morsel she finds on the floor. Yuck!

She's still enjoying the goodies from her Easter basket. The one bag of yogurt melts is already almost gone! I am going to save the other bag of yogurt melts and the canister of puffs for the airplane. You know how kids sometimes enjoy the box as much or more than the toy that was in the box at Christmas or their birthday? Well Nadia really likes the ribbon from her Easter basket. :-)

Today is her first time of wearing a t-shirt. Unfortunately she wasn't able to wear the one Paul & I bought her in St. Thomas, and it's too small now. Carol (my former handbell choir director) gave me 3 shirts from Hawaii last year (before we knew the gender and I was really hoping baby was a girl as I wouldn't put these shirts on a boy). Nadia's wearing one of them today.

Today I put some jelly on her piece of rye bread for the first time. She approved!! I was thinking how our children's tastes are influenced by what their parents like and don't like. Strawberry jelly happens to be my favorite so that's what she got whereas other parents probably like grape (I don't) so their kids probably get that more often. We shall see what ends up being her favorite. I hope she does like pb&j sandwiches though (I won't give her peanut butter yet) as I love them and Paul never eats them.

I was pleasantly surprised when AF showed up this morning. Yes, I was happy even though the last one only stopped about 10 days ago. I was surprised as in the past 5 years the soonest it's come was 4 days after my last bcp (and sometimes 5 days later). My last bcp was Friday; so this was just 3 days later. I was praying it would start tomorrow or Wednesday. If it didn't come by Wed I would have had to postpone my RE appt scheduled for Thursday. Now I'm praying not to have AF again for many months. As long as I get the "all clear" on Thursday (which I have the last 12 medicated cycles), I'll be up to 3 belly shots a day on Friday. Even though in the grand scheme of things Nadia is still very young, she doesn't seem like a baby any more. I am looking forward to cradling a little tiny baby in my arms once more, Lord willing.

One thing I keep forgetting to mention is that a couple of weeks ago Nadia started to REALLY enjoy touch and feel books. They didn't amuse her in the past, but now the furry parts (like ducks, kittens, and dogs) cause her to laugh when she strokes them. What fun... :-)

Happy Easter!

He is Risen! What a glorious event we celebrate on Easter each year! This morning Paul and I got up at 4:50am. That is just TOO early. Those days of nursing Nadia throughout the night are already faded from my memory as it just felt cruel and unusual to step in the shower before 5am. I woke the little girl up at 5:30. I turned on the light in her room; that didn't wake her up. I said her name; she still kept sleeping. I had to start rubbing her back before she woke up, and she was none too happy that I woke her up. I don't ever recall waking her up in the morning since she usually wakes up pretty early on her own. Last night's plan to put her down early was a VERY bad plan. I will not put her down to bed early in the future. She went down easily at 6:20, but then she woke up at 7pm and acted like she had just awakened from a nap. There was a LOT of crying involved, and I wasn't able to take her back up and put her to bed until 8:15pm; so she actually ended up going to bed later than usual not earlier. OOPS! I'm not trying to pick on my hubby, but Nadia and I were waiting for him for 10 minutes. I find it amazing that I got myself and Nadia ready quicker than Paul got himself ready. :-)

We went to the 6:30am sunrise service at my previous church. It was a very nice service, and it was great to see people I hadn't seen in 4 months. We had breakfast there at 8am. Nadia was very good during the service, and she enjoyed eating breakfast potatoes during the meal. I realized when we were there that in the haste of leaving so early in the morning, we had forgotten my Lupron shot. I contemplated driving back after breakfast, but doing so would have added about 1 hour of driving to our driving today. So I decided it shouldn't be a problem to have the Lupron shot a few hours later than usual just one day. If I was in the stimming phase I would have driven back, but I figured in the "waiting for AF" stage it wasn't the end of the world to have that shot late. I hope I won't regret that decision.

Nadia fell asleep as soon as we got in the car (9am). They were having Sunday School and another service at 10:45, but we felt one service was enough for Miss Nadia as she'd already been awake 3 1/2 hours. She slept all the way to Paul's parents house, and we just sat in the car and chatted until she woke up. She slept almost one hour in her carseat. Paul's parents were at church, but they left their house unlocked so we could go inside. We saw Nadia's Easter basket right away! Grandparents are good at spoiling grandchildren! ;-) She got a book, a frog stuffed animal, shoes, sippy cup, links, and several snacks (yogurt melts, puffs, etc.). She had fun playing with their dog, Fergie. Paul's parents got home about noon and then later Paul's grandmother, brother, sil, and nephew came. We had a huge, very delicous meal - ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, deviled eggs, shrimp, baked beans, corn, etc. as well as many desserts later on - cookies, cake, brownies, cheesecake, etc. I ate too much, but at least the meal served as both lunch and dinner so hopefully I didn't overdo it too much. If you know me well, you'd know I only ate one of the meats (ham) as I'm not big on turkey or shrimp, but I love ham and don't have it often so it's always a treat when I have some!

We brought a chair that attaches to a table and our pack n' play today. Nadia sat nicely in her chair and enjoyed eating corn, mashed potatoes, and especially the new yogurt melts. She also took a nap (almost an hour) in the pack n' play we set up in Paul's parents bedroom. Everyone had fun playing with her. She was in a very happy mood. We left around 4pm, and she slept the whole way home. So I guess that is the one instance when she'll still take a 3rd nap - when one of them is in the car. She was very excited to travel all around our house once she got home since she hadn't played at home all day. She went to bed easily a few minutes before 7pm, and I don't plan to stay up much later myself as getting up at 4:50am has made me rather tired! It was a good day though. I got a LOT of positive feedback on the song I did in sign language (Watch the Lamb by Ray Boltz). The song is very powerful; many (even men) were in tears. It was wonderful to celebrate the Resurrection, see friends from church I hadn't seen in awhile, and spend several hours visiting with Paul's family. :-)

Cheerios and Toasted Cheese

Nadia can now feed herself Cheerios. I am not saying she succeeds 100% of the time, but she succeeds a majority of the time these days which is a big improvement. Picking them up has been easy for months. The problem has been releasing them once she brings her hand up to her mouth. In general she is preferring "grown up" food these days. For lunch Paul made her a grilled cheese sandwich on rye bread (just one piece of toast folded in half), and she ate the whole thing! Later I tried to give her yogurt + corn, which is something that usually went down easily. She did NOT want it. I finally mixed in a piece of rye bread, and then she ate it. I think the days of mushy foods are coming to a close although she still eats cottage cheese without any problems. She's doing well with peas and green beans these days also whereas those used to be harder to get her to eat.

I asked for prayer for Jo recently who is in the middle of ivf. Well she really could use the extra prayers right now as her doctor appt on Thursday didn't go well. She had 4 small follicles (5-6mm) and only 1 bigger follicle. If some of those don't "catch up" by Monday, her cycle will be cancelled. That's something that's really hard to take after you've given yourself shots for over a week and spent thousands of dollars on the meds. I had an inj/iui cycle cancelled once, and even though my insurance pays for the meds, it was still devastating. In my case it was becacuse I had WAY too many follicles. It was my first time on Follistim, and my response was totally different than the Bravelle I had been on previously so the dosage was WAY too high for me since I stimulate very easily. Speaking of cancelled ivf cycles, Regina's ivf cycle was cancelled (for the same reason as Jo) earlier this year, and she's starting her stims again a couple of days after me. If you can pray for a miracle for Jo that she her cycle won't be cancelled, that would be greatly appreciated!

We have officially said goodbye to the 3rd nap. Even when one or both of her other naps are short, she won't take a 3rd one any more. So I hope she starts taking longer naps as the last several days one of her naps (sometimes the first and other times the 2nd) has been only 30 minutes long. Ninety minutes of nap time just is not enough! It means she's awake for 11.5 to 12 hours a day which is a lot for a 9 month old! She wakes up a few minutes before or after 6am no matter when she goes to bed. She has a very strong internal clock! I put her to bed early tonight since I have to get her up very early tomorrow as the sunrise service starts at 6:30am and is 30 minutes away from our house.

Today Paul and I did a lot of yardwork. Let me say it is hard work removing ground cover. The previous owners had a couple of different types completely covering up the area in between the bushes in the front yard. I found some hyacinth, primrose, etc. buried underneath. I tried to salvage all of those, but we were digging up the roots on all the ground cover. It took us a few hours to do one section. Then I spread 3 bags of mulch over the area we had done. It's by no means done, but we did put a big dent in the project. Paul also chopped up the Christmas tree that the garbage collectors never took. He filled 3 large garbage bags with the ground cover and 2 bags with the tree. We are going to take as much as we can to Paul's parents tomorrow and dump out the contents of the bags into the woods so it doesn't have to be buried in a landfill somewhere.

Hot and Cold

Today it hit me that Nadia drinks warm milk (whereas people usually drink cold milk), and she eats cold food - even things like mashed potatoes. I don't think switching to eating food warm will be a challenge. Not everything is backwards. Most people do eat cold yogurt and cottage cheese. :-) I think though getting her to drink cold milk is going to be a challenge. First we need to keep working on that sippy cup. The fast flow nipples don't work for her on the bottle - milk just spills out all over the place. Well hopefully in the next couple of months she'll get the hang of it as I know they don't like babies being on a bottle once they hit one year old.

Last night I skipped choir rehearsal. The first reason was because tonight there is a Maundy Thursday service which I planned to attend. The choir is singing two songs. However I was forgetting that the earliest Paul gets home on a Thursday is 7pm, and that's when the service starts, and the church is 12 minutes from home plus of course the choir has to be there earlier than that. Since that's Nadia's bed time and they probably won't have a nursery, it just didn't seem like I could go. So because I won't be singing tonight or Easter Sunday (because I'm doing special music at my previous church), it didn't make sense to go last night since rehearsing the 4 songs for tonight and Easter would take up much of the time. The second reason was because I was exhausted. I put Nadia down at 7pm and was asleep myself by 7:30pm. She woke up around 6am, and that's when I woke up too. I was obviously very tired!

The nurse asked me last month what my main side effects were from Lupron the last two times I was on it, and I said exhaustion and headaches. She said the most common one is hot flashes. Nope. I've felt rather chilly lately. If I remember correctly, this exhaustion didn't last forever. I think it took a week or so for my body to adjust. Until then I think I'll be going to bed soon after Nadia each night. That's another good reason not to go to the service tonight although I know I would have enjoyed it. In light of my headache and exhuastion, the only thing on my to do list today aside from caring for a sweet little girl is to write a final exam for a new course I'm teaching this summer.

When Paul gave me the shot this morning he made some comment about making sure he didn't get any female hormones on him. Well it's true that the other shots I'll take starting next week are female hormones, but these aren't. In fact Lupron is primarily used to treat prostate cancer. It says "oncology" on the box. So actually more men come in contact with this drug than women do. Isn't it weird how a drug used to treat a form of cancer only men get can be used for fertility reasons for a woman? Go figure.

It's a Small World

The internet truly has made the world seem smaller. Just the fact that I keep in touch through this blog with people all over the US, many of whom I've never met in person, is one example. The example that stood out to me yesterday was when I was checking an Antigua & Barbuda travel forum. I had learned a lot through reading various posts on that forum, and Sunday I wrote a few posts there to ask a few questions in preparation for our upcoming trip. What cracked me up was the woman who responded to all my posts lives in the UK. I was picturing that here I am sitting in the US and a woman across the Atlantic Ocean is answering my questions about our upcoming trip to the Caribbean such as whom to contact to reserve a crib for Nadia. Years ago I wouldn't have any contact with anyone in the UK unless I was over there on vacation.

I forgot to mention that a few days ago Nadia mastered the skill of climbing up the stairs. She can climb the whole way up the staircase. I don't let her do it unsupervised. Next, she needs to learn how to go down the stairs; even with "her" step in between the kitchen and family room she hasn't figured out that headfirst is not the way to go down. Another change is that she used to stay in the room where I was (although she'd explore every nook and cranny of that room). Now sometimes she will leave the room where I am to explore in another room. I bring her back or join her as she needs to be supervised unless she's in the pack n' play. She's definitely a girl on the go!

Today my goals are to grade the assignments I collected last night and get some cleaning done around the house. I have to admit that I have not done well lately with my goals for the year. I need to get back on track. The next day the weather is nice I want to work on the flowerbeds. I finally saw some evidence of some flowers coming up. Once I know what is here already then I'll know what bulbs I want to plant next fall. I think there might be some tulips in one of the flower beds which would be wonderful as they are one of my favorites!

Let the stabbing begin

Today I had my first shot for this ivf cycle. The last time Paul gave me a shot was 15 months ago, and the last belly shot was about 17 months ago. The needles for the Lupron shots are really tiny so they don't really hurt. I like Paul to give them to me in part because it makes him more a part of the process. So when he's around at the time I need them, I have him give me the belly shots. The area was itchy afterward, but it didn't last long. I don't recall that side effect from the Lupron, but maybe I've just forgotten. At times I still struggle with why can't we get pregnant the usual way that doesn't involve thousands of dollars and about 100 shots, but of course this way is far, far, far better than having no way! I'd greatly appreciate prayers that the Lord would use this process to bring Nadia a brother or sister in 2010. While you are at it, you could also pray for my friend, Jo, who is also in the middle of ivf #2 for a brother or sister for her son, Noah, who is 11 months older than Nadia. If there are others of you in the middle of ivf, let me know, and I can add you to my prayer list! :-)

Paul didn't have class today which worked out really well as I needed to be on campus earlier than usual for interviews. I participated in 4 of the 6 as 2 were in the morning, and I couldn't ask him to start watching Nadia that soon or he wouldn't have gotten much work done today. I left at 12:30 which was shortly before she goes down for her 2nd nap. In light of her illness, we have at times been letting her have three naps, especially if one or both of the first two naps is really short (say 30 minutes long). So far it seems we're judging it correctly as the days we've let her have a 3rd nap she's still not been getting up prior to 6am. I have given up on trying to shift her wake time to 7am or later. I'm just happy if she sleeps until at least 6am. Today she got up at 6:20 for example. Her first nap is often around 9am (or possibly a little earlier), and her second nap often starts sometime between 12:30-1:00pm. If she takes two good naps (at least 2 hours total between the two), then she doesn't have a 3rd nap.

Nadia's poor little nose is still very runny, and it's been wiped with a tissue so often that two little spots are red from bleeding. Poor girl! :-( I hope she starts feeling better soon. Today is the 7th day of this little cold. Thankfully she never developed any other symptoms (no cough or fever).

Babyproofing

I need to do some babyproofing. For one thing, Nadia has discovered electric outlets. The ironic thing is that all of our outlets that weren't being used had protectors in them for four years due to social worker visits for adoption home studies. During that time, no one under the age of 30 lived in our house. Now that we do have a little one, none of the outlets have protectors in them since our child ended up coming to us through a way that didn't involve a social worker inspecting our home. I need to go find those protectors and put them in the outlets since little fingers are exploring every nook and cranny of our house these days. :-)

This morning I had an appt at the RE at 9:30. To me the appt wasn't necessary. At this appt typically the husband and wife sign the consents, but we did that last month as I didn't want Paul to have to make another trip until the retrieval. The one other thing accomplished at this appt is they give the Lupron. My insurance considers it a medical supply so they give it to me directly (no Rx for it). I asked for the Lupron at the last appt, but no they insisted I come again just to get the Lupron. Oi vey. So we drove 1 hour (RT) so I could be handed a box that contains one vial of Lupron and 14 syringes. The RE who started this clinic many years ago has come back (after being away 15 years), and he thinks 10 units of Lupron is enough. I started at 20 units a day with the fresh and frozen transfers in 2007, and then at some point they dropped me down to 10 units a day. I asked if I'd be dropped down lower at some point, and she said they do with some patients and others stay at 10 units. My poor baby's nap schedule was totally thrown off by a 9:30 appt (since we left the house at about 8:50). She slept about 20 minutes on the way there. Then she was awake for 90 minutes. I went over and visited my friend Donna after the appt which definitely made the trip seem more worthwhile. :-) Then she slept the whole 30 minute drive home. I hope I can make my future appts at a time that won't be in the middle of her morning nap.

My next appointment is in 10 days for my baseline u/s and b/w and also the mock transfer since I didn't have that last month as planned. I'll also fill my Rx for Follistim and Menopur at the pharmacy after that appt. Tomorrow I start the Lupron (one shot in the belly every morning), and Friday is my last day of the pill. I need AF to come next Tuesday or at the very latest Wednesday. Then on the 17th I'll be up to 3 belly shots a day (2 in the morning and 1 at night). The belly shots really aren't TOO bad especially when Paul gives them to me. The only one I didn't like last time was the Repronex as it burned and bruised my belly, but I'll be on Menopur this time instead which isn't supposed to have those same side effects. If this all leads to me seeing TWO lines while we're in Antigua, it will all be worth it!!!

First Step!

Today Nadia took her first step! She was in the pack n' play that we use as a playpen at times. I was sitting on the couch right beside her reading a magazine and periodically watching her or interacting with her. Well I am very glad I was looking at that moment, for as far as I know, I think I saw her take her first step. She was standing in the middle (not holding on to anything) which has become the norm lately, but then she took a step. Way to go, Nadia! Let me say this girl is constantly on the go these days. She's discovering every little nook and corner of our house whether that means crawling behind furniture or whatever. It's very easy to tell where she's been as she leaves a wake of objects in her path. I can clean up the family room and within minutes it looks like a tornado struck as she pulls all the books out of the basket, removes items from the bottom shelf of the coffee table, etc. Of course some things she's "discovered" I'd rather she had no contact with such as the toilet bowl brush. Yuck!

She still has a very runny nose. She seemed better on Friday, but yesterday and today she's been very fussy. Paul and I both feel a little under the weather today as well. I plan to go to bed really early tonight (maybe 8pm) in the hopes I will feel better tomorrow. I have had a lot of fun the last couple of days doing research for our vacation. I am very excited about it, and at that point I should have a few embryos (hopefully growing) inside of me!!!

Yard Sale

I don't usually go to yard sales, but I had seen signs that the Christian school 1 mile from our house was having one today so I had been planning to go to see if I would find any clothes, toys, or books for Nadia. Well none of the books tempted me, but I did buy Nadia a dress (size 2T) and two toys. One toy is a little bowling set (the pins resemble different animals), and the other includes 3 cubes which do various things. Guess how much I spent altogether. The answer would be 50 cents. Wow! I guess I'll have to frequent yard sales more often. A lot of stuff wasn't in that great of shape, but I was happy with what I bought. The dress still had the tag on it! I scrubbed down the cubes with soap and water to make sure we're not passing on germs from another child to Nadia.

Surprisingly her 2nd nap yesterday was an hour long, and thankfully she went down easily last night at about 7:15pm. Whew. I don't like listening to my baby cry! She woke up at 6am. Since I get up with her 6 days a week, Paul gets up with her on Saturdays so I can stay in bed until 7am. Yesterday she learned a new trick - clucking her tongue. She thinks it's quite funny! We had fun throughout the day clucking back and forth at each other. I'll try to get a little video of it. Another little game we've been playing for maybe a week or so is that when I nod my head "yes" she nods her head "no" (and smiles). She did that with a lady sitting next to us in church on Sunday, and the other lady thought it was funny also. :-)

At the grocery store yesterday I checked out the baby food jars of meat and quickly decided it would be MUCH cheaper for me to make my own. A size 3 jar of macaroni & cheese or meat and spaghetti was about 90 cents. First of all, she doesn't need her macaroni to be pureed, and second of all, I can make it much cheaper. So the only baby food I plan on continuing to buy is rice cereal and oatmeal. I'll make some meat for her, and I'll keep introducing her to more table foods. She always wants to eat whatever we're eating! Last night I shared some of my pierogies with her, and she loved them! Yesterday I also bought her some Kix cereal. She likes those and also loves to eat Cheerios as most babies do. I used to buy 14 bananas whenever I went to the grocery store, and now I am buying about 20 each time since I'm buying for three.

Nice LONG Nap!

Yesterday Nadia's naps were short. So short that I let her have 3 for the first time in a week, and even with 3 naps the total length was only 2 hours. She usually sleeps at least 2 hours total when she takes only 2 naps! In general she was in a good mood yesterday despite her lack of sleep and runny nose. We spent some time on the back porch to enjoy the sunny day (temps in the 60's). She's gotten better about Mommy wiping her nose (doesn't always cry when I wipe it any more). Last night though she struggled to go to bed again. I tried rocking, singing, milk, etc. and finally had to let her cry (a lot longer than she's cried in a LONG time). She finally fell asleep at 7:40pm. She had another restless night where she would wake up every couple of hours and cry for maybe 30 seconds. I assume her sleep will improve once her nose clears up.

She woke up for the day at 6:10am. Her nose seemed better this morning as it didn't start running until 11:00am! It seems she's over the worst of it which is nice. I was VERY pleasantly surprised when she took a really long nap this morning. Generally the longest she naps is 90 minutes. We can go many weeks without any naps being longer than that. I put her down at 8:15 and she didn't wake up until 10:30am! Wow! So she slept more in 1 nap today than all 3 put together yesterday, LOL. Right now she's taking her 2nd nap. I don't expect it to be very long in light of the long one this morning, but we shall see. I got soooo much done during that long nap! I finished reading a novel from the library (White Chocolate Moments) and then I finished revising 3 syllabi and 6 exams for the 3 courses I am teaching this summer. The only things I have left to do for my 3 courses and 6 individualized instructions (IIs) this summer are to create the Blackboard sites for the 3 courses and create 1 midterm and 2 final exams for the II's. I think before I start tackling the syllabi and such for the fall semester I will spend some time planning our vacation to Antigua since that's about 1 month away. YAY!!!!!

My mom has wanted to see a video of Nadia crawling up "her" step. So today I finally got around to doing that. She has two different ways of getting up there. This is how she gets up if she's near the toybox, and this is how she gets up if she's not. The second video also shows her crawling and pulling herself up to stand. Her newest trick is that she can now go from sitting to standing without using anything to pull herself up although if she's near something she still prefers that method, but if nothing is nearby that doesn't stop her from standing up any more!

Runny Nose

Nadia's streak of perfect health came to an end yesterday morning when she woke up with a really runny nose. I found the timing rather ironic given that she was scheduled to have her well baby visit yesterday afternoon. Of course you don't go to the doctor for just a runny nose and naturally the doctor didn't say anything about it. Since Nadia (like most babies) doesn't like to have her nose wiped, she's cried more yesterday and today than usual. However when I'm not coming at her with a dreaded Kleenex, she's been in her usual good mood. It seems to have interfered some with her sleep though as Paul had a hard time putting her down last night when I was at choir rehearsal. He said she fell asleep in his arms at 6:50 but then kept crying everytime he put her in her crib and nothing helped (rocking, singing, milk, etc.) so eventually he had to just let her cry herself to sleep (7:40pm). A few times during the night she woke up and cried for about 30 seconds so it seems she wasn't getting as good a night of sleep as she normally does. She woke up for good about 6:10am so she only got about 10.5 hours of sleep compared to the about 12 hours she had been getting a night lately. So far she doesn't have any other symptoms aside from a very runny nose. Hopefully it will stay that way and hopefully the "leaky faucet" will clear up soon. She has gotten a lot better about having her face washed after eating. That also used to produce tears, but it doesn't any more. Maybe in time a tissue wiping gunk off her upper lip also won't be so traumatic. :-)

9 Month Doctor Visit

This afternoon Nadia had her 9 month check-up. Thankfully there aren't any shots at this appointment although they did prick her heel to check for anemia. Her level was 11.6 which was just a smidge below the normal level (12-16), but they weren't concerned since it was so close to being normal. She weighed in at 18lbs 9 oz which is about what I was expecting (minus clothes); she gained 3 lbs since her 6 month visit. That puts her at the 38th percentile which is virtually the same as at her 6 month visit (37th). Her head circumference was 17.75 inches which is the 76th percentile; she was at the 64th %ile at her 6 month visit. I am questionning the accuracy of the length measurement as supposedly she only grew 1/2 inch in the last 3 months. I know in the first month of her life she had all different height measurements - sometimes supposedly she was shrinking, LOL. Given how the clothes that fit her 3 months ago do NOT fit now (in terms of length), I just don't think she grew only 1/2 inch. I think either the last measurement was inaccurate, this one was, or they both were. :-) If she really is 26 1/2 inches long then she's in the 12th percentile; she was in the 49th percentile for length at 6 months. I'd say about half of the clothes she wears now are size 9 months, and the other half are size 12 months. I don't think that puts her at the 12th percentile given she's 9 months old.

The doctor said she can start eating meat, and she encouraged us to wean her from the bottle to a cup which we have been trying to do. Today she did drink a few ounces from the nuby. After I first purchased the new ones (about a month ago), the nuk was the one she drank out, but now she won't drink from that one. We've transitioned her from the slow flow to medium flow nipples for her bottle, and today I bought some fast flow ones. I think if she gets used to those for her bottle that will help her with the nuby sippy cup. She didn't spill this time with the nuby (which she did a few weeks ago), but she was still gagged a bit from the speed of the flow.

I was able to say "yes" as far as what Nadia could do in answer to all the doctor's with the exception of waving "hi" or "bye bye" as she doesn't do that yet. She does sit, crawl, pull herself up to stand, cruise, and she says the word dada when she sees Daddy or talks to him on the phone. I also told the doctor that Nadia can stand without holding on to anything for maybe 20 seconds at a time. I didn't say anything to the doctor about this, but I admit I am starting to get impatient about waiting to hear her say mama. Hopefully that will be the next word she learns how to say. :-)

She again suggested I fill the Rx for the flouride for Nadia, but I think I'll still pass on that. She suggested also testing for lead in addition to the hemoglobin, but since our house is less than 10 years old I declined that test. Her final suggestion was for a referral for Nadia to see an opthalmologist. She is fairly certain Nadia's eyes are fine, but she couldn't 100% rule out a "lazy eye." She tried to show me, but when she repeated the test she said everything was perfectly symmetrical. She did the test about 5 times and only once thought maybe one was a little off. I'm not concerned At All, but I'll take her to the eye doctor just to be sure everything is fine.

She asked about Nadia's bms, and I told her that lately she usually has one poopy diaper a day, and usually it is within one hour of when she gets up in the morning. If she stays in this routine, then it will help when it comes time to potty training as I'll sit her on the potty after breakfast as she usually poops within 30 minutes of finishing eating breakfast.

Nadia did have a couple of short (10 minute or less) naps in the car this afternoon. It's nice not to be worried about those any more as I know they won't interfere with her sleep at night especially since her two naps today were shorter than usual. I have been trying to push her nap times back to 9am and 1pm. Yesterday I was aiming for 12:30, but at 12:00 she laid down (even her head) on the kitchen floor so I knew it was definitely nap time (see photo below). Last night she went to bed at 6:45 (and fell asleep a little before 7pm), and she didn't wake up this morning until 6:38am. WOOHOO! It was nice to stay in bed until 6:45am especially as I went to bed later than usual as Paul & I watched a movie (Marley & Me) after I got home from class last night. It's so nice to go from her sleeping 10 to almost 12 hours at night.