Farewell 2008

Well many of you will probably be staying up late tonight. Not me, LOL! I remember in 2001 I asked Paul to wake me up a little before midnight so I could see the fireworks (we were in downtown Chicago), but the last few years I have been content to forego seeing in the new year. I have been trying to stay up a little later though. My body has gotten used to going to bed at 8:30pm (or earlier). I am trying to switch my body to a 9pm bed time. 9:30 used to be my usual bedtime prior to becoming a Mommy.

2008 has been a GREAT year for us. "Smaller" blessings would be my promotion and tenure and Paul's completion of his master's degree and beginning his PhD at PSU. In a "normal" year those would be considered BIG blessings, but in comparison to Nadia, they seem small. What a blessing Nadia is! For 20+ years I have longed for the day I'd become a Mommy, and on June 24, 2008 I finally held my baby in my arms. Paul wasn't sure I'd remember that as I was still coming out of the anesthesia (although this was 4 hours after her birth), but I certainly remember it!!!!!!!!! I know others think the year wasn't that great due to the economic woes and such, but that stuff really is unimportant in my mind compared to the birth of our sweet little girl.

She's grown SO much in 2008. On 12/24/07 Dr. A said she was 1.25 inches long (crown to rump so she was a bit longer head to toes), and on 12/30/08 she was 26 inches long! I am quite certain she won't grow 2 feet any other year of her life. :-) This morning she was using her hands to take each of the rings off the classic Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack toy. Her use of her hands has improved tremendously the last couple of months! And the list could go on. That's just one small example. I rarely take photos w/o her clothes on, but I took this one this morning to #1 show her four bandaids :-( and #2 to show how her belly button now almost looks like an innie which is such a big change from when she was a few weeks old and it looked like SUCH an outie.

Of course she's not been feeling that well since her shots. The upside is that Mommy and Daddy have been giving her lots of TLC - extra cuddling time. :-) She didn't do badly last night considering. She went down at 6pm and then woke up at 9pm and Daddy fed her and then Mommy rocked her. Then she slept until 6:45am. Today her nap schedule has been totally out of whack, but we're just going with the flow since she's recovering from her shots.

Today I met my new primary care doctor. I like her. I was impressed that she had studied my chart prior to meeting me. I had a tetnus shot today (also diptheria and pertussis) that they had recommended I have soon after delivery and it never happened. I can't remember when I had my last tetnus shot, but I don't think I've had one in PA which means it's been more than 12 years. She gave me a referral to see an Orthopedic hand doctor (my appointment is scheduled for February 10) and also had bloodwork done today to check my thryoid as evidently that can cause carpal tunnel as well.

One of the toys I ordered Nadia after Christmas came in the mail today. I think it's really neat. I hope she likes it! It's called the Mozart Magic Cube. It plays 8 different Mozart compositions. There are 5 different instrument buttons - harp, flute, French horn, piano, and violin. If you press one instrument then only that instrument plays the song. If you press another button then that instrument joins in. If you press an instrument already playing then that instrument stops playing (but the others that you have pressed keep playing). The sixth side is the orchestra button which plays all instruments. Each side also lights up when played, and there is a picture of each instrument on each side. I like that it goes through 8 different pieces (March in D, Der Vogelfanger, Non Pie Andre, Landler, etc.) as the Mozart song that came with her gym is one I have heard WAY too many times, LOL.

She nursed for 14 minutes this morning! When she was really little 45-60 minutes was the norm, but for a few months the norm was 20-30 minutes. The last couple of weeks 10 minutes would be a LONG time. The length had been dwindling each day, but thankfully now it's increasing. I was pleased yesterday morning even though it was less than 10 minutes; so I was really pleased this morning with 14 minutes. I think that means my milk supply must be increasing. I sure hope so as I am getting very, very tired of pumping. I hope all this work pays off and we can start decreasing the amount of formula she has each day in the very near future.

2008 will be a year I will not forget. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so very grateful for this precious gift from the Lord. I look forward to making many precious memories with her in 2009. As 2006 came to a close I was very, very, very, very, very, very discouraged. As 2007 came to a close I was filled with great hope as I knew this little one was growing inside me. As 2008 comes to a close, I am filled with great joy over Nadia Renee, whose name means "hope reborn." I admit now that I am not so sleep deprived, I find myself hoping more and more for a sibling for Nadia, but the desire to ttc #2 is not filled with the desperation I felt after years of unsuccessful attempts to conceive or adopt #1. I do hope and pray we have or adopt another baby some day, but I can handle only having one child much better than I handled not having any. I am so glad to be entering 2009 as a Mommy!!!!

6 Month Doctor Visit

I am so thankful that Nadia has only been going to the doctor for her well baby visits. What a blessing that she hasn't been sick at all the last few months. PTL! I was right in my estimation of Nadia's length - 26 inches (49th %ile) which means she's grown 2 inches in the last 2 months and 6 3/4 inches she was born. She weighed 15 1/2 lbs. (37th %ile) which means she's grown about 3 lbs. in the last 2 months and exactly 10 lbs. from her lowest weight at a doctor's office. Her head circumference was 17 inches (64th %ile). She had 4 shots and one oral suspension. The extra shot was a flu shot. Thankfully she didn't bleed this time! She goes back in one month just to see the nurse for the 2nd half of the flu shot, and she goes back in 3 months to see the doctor for her 9 month immunizations. The doctor said she looked very healthy and that she was right on target developmentally - she sat on her own briefly for the doctor, supported her weight while standing, etc. She gave her an Rx for flouride. Is this really necessary???

Paul's advisor wrote him back and said it was fine if he was on vacation May 9-16. So I booked a 2 bedroom suite (it also has a living room, kitchen, and two bathrooms) for the five of us in Antigua! It will be fun to plan the vacation the next few months! I have almost as much fun researching and planning the vacation as actually going on it, LOL.

A lactation nurse called me back, and she said I can get my milk back up to where it was. Her instructions were to take 3 fenugreek 3 times a day for 3 days (27 total capsules). I am also supposed to pump every 2 hours if possible the 3 days I'm on the fenugreek (I had been pumping every 3 hours the past 3 days) and also do what she called a "power pump" once or twice a day where I pump 10 minutes and then rest 10 minutes and then pump 10 minutes for a total of an hour. She thinks I should see a drastic increase in my milk supply about 5 days from now. Once that happens, I'm supposed to call back and get advice on how to get Nadia to be more accepting of nursing. I've had 9 capsules of fenugreek today and done one "power pump." Here's to hoping and praying all this works.

Spilled Milk

You know how they say not to cry over spilled milk? Well I almost cried over it yesterday, LOL! I don't think they were referring to "mommy milk" which the lactation nurses refer to as "liquid gold." I spilled some yesterday, and with how little I get from pumping these days, it does seem like gold to me. I didn't cry though. Yesterday morning I called the lactation nurses at the hospital; their line was busy so I left a message. They haven't called back yet so I might try again. My sister and an online friend both emailed me and suggested I take Fenugreek. I actually used to own 3 bottles of Fenugreek and 3 bottles of Blessed Thistle, but I gave those to an online friend this summer who bought my (unused) supplemental nursing system from me as she wanted to nurse her adopted son. I didn't think I'd need them, and I didn't the first 5 months. If I could go back in time, I would have pumped more when school was in session. I called Paul yesterday and asked him to stop at the GNC in the mall in State College and get me a bottle of Fenugreek. So he did, and so I took 6 of those this morning. It's supposed to start working in 24-72 hours.

She nursed longer than usual this morning (still not very long but an improvement over what she's done lately) so I didn't get as much with the first pumping. The reason she nursed longer is she slept through the night!!! She went down at 7:15pm and made not a peep until 6am. I haven't been letting her get up that early, but since she hadn't gotten up all night, I decided it was fine. Well silly me she actually was NOT awake. I woke her up when I came in and turned on the light! OOPS! So who knows when she actually would have gotten up this morning. Anyhow I am proud she slept almost 11 hours without waking up. Way to go, Nadia!!

This morning we went to the Post Office and submitted Nadia's passport application to the Postmaster. Paul said her photos look like a baby mug shot, LOL. I wasn't exactly sure what to put for her height. I put 2 ft 2 inches. We'll see later today how accurate that was. It didn't ask for weight. I put blonde for hair color and blue for eye color. As far as her weight goes, I am guessing she weighs about 16 lbs. She seems to be in a growth spurt right now. I'm going to try the trick of giving her some Tylenol before her appointment to see if that helps. I figure it can't hurt! Hopefully she won't be gushing blood like she did with her 2 month and 4 month shots.

Passport Photos

I've been doing research lately to try to pick where to go on vacation this summer. Usually we go on vacation once a year. There were two years in our marriage where we went on two different trips in one year such as we went to England and France in June 2002 and then to Mexico 5 months later. There was one year where we didn't go on any trips. We had planned to go to Puerto Vallarta (we haven't been to the Pacific side of Mexico) in July 2007, but that week we paid for wasn't used as I was asked to teach another summer class, and even though we lost the money we paid for the resort, I made a lot more than that by teaching 9 credits that summer. Our last vacation did technically start in 2007 as we left in late December, but most of the trip was in January 2008 so I think of it as our 2008 vacation. So we have the itch to go on a vacation again as it's been a year! I am hoping to teach both summer sessions although I am only scheduled to teach the first session right now. My final exams will be given on April 27 & 28, but PSU's finals are May 4-8, and they don't post the final exam schedule until part way through the semester. My summer class starts the week of May 18. So to play it safe I figure we should plan the vacation between May 9-17.

Currently we are leaning toward Antigua with the Bahamas as our second choice. There are more interesting historical sites on Antigua such as Nelson's Dockyard, and the resort that we are looking at for that island is in a gated community with a one mile long beach. We asked Paul's parents if they'd like to join us. We said we'd pay for a 2 bedroom suite (living room, kitchen, and two bedrooms) that the 5 of us could use. They are interested as that means lots of time with Nadia! :-) Paul is checking with his advisor to make sure that week is okay. Assuming it is, I will be paying for our 7 night stay at the resort (May 9-16). So today I took Nadia to CVS to get her passport photos. I am sure I could have figured out a way to do it cheaper myself, but it's done. Tomorrow morning we have an appointment at our town's Post Office to turn in her application. Both parents must be present to get a passport for a child. I was impressed that our town's Post Office accepts passport applications (given our town has a population of about 2,200). It's exciting to think about taking Nadia on her first vacation although she won't remember it, LOL. We were talking about places we want to take her once she's old enough to enjoy things and San Diego was one we discussed - the zoo, LegoLand, Sea World, etc. Of course I am sure we'll be going to Disney World some day as well. :-) So I think my birthday wish list is going to contain things Nadia will need for our trip like a bathing suit and a swimming vest.

Last night Nadia went down at 7pm and got up at 7am. She only woke up once during that 12 hour span and that was around 3am. The poor thing had a very leaky wet diaper. That hadn't happened in a few months (never in this house) and never with this brand of diapers (Parent's Choice which is the Walmart brand). Her onesie and pjs were soaked. Poor girl! So I changed her diaper and pjs while Paul changed her sheet and matress pad and then I nursed her a few minutes and she went back down easily thankfully. The reason I think she is ready to sleep 12 hours without nursing is I am certain she is getting very little milk from me when I nurse her (probably 2 ounces at the very most). During the day she usually needs at least 6 ounces at a feeding. As for me, I drank 128 ounces of water yesterday and pumped 4 times and got more milk than the previous day when I pumped 5 times. I wish I had been better about pumping back when school was in session. I used to have enough milk. If I hadn't allowed her to have formula, I am certain my milk supply would be fine now. Basically I am trying to reverse the weaning process right now. I do feel encouraged that it's going back in the right direction, but I just have no idea if it can go back up to where it used to be or not. The one good thing about pumping is that at least she's getting some of my milk by bottle each day, plus I am still nursing her a little each day.

The other appointments on the calendar for this week are her 6 month shots (tomorrow afternoon) and my appointment for my left wrist on Wednesday morning. The pain level has gone down during the day, but it's much worse at night. Many times the pain keeps me awake, and now it shoots all the way down to my elbow. My fingers are numb in that hand when I wake up during the night.
Paul is at PSU today, but it's the only day he's going in this week. YAY! It's been nice to have him around the last 10 days. Well since Paul isn't home and Nadia's nap will end soon, I had better go pump while I have the chance...

Family Time

This afternoon Paul's parents came up to our house and brought their other two grandchildren along as well (see the photo below of Nadia on her cousin Shawn's back).

Last night Nadia went to bed at 6pm which is earlier than we usually like her to go down. So I was expecting her to want to get up for the day around 6am. Well I nursed her around 1:30am. She had a hard time going back to sleep (ie cried a lot) but then she slept until 7:15am. WOW! So she was in bed for 13 hours and slept well over 12 hours! I plan on weaning her off the one remaining night time feeding sometime in the next 3 weeks.

As for pumping, yesterday I drank about 112 ounces of water, and I have already had more than 100 ounces today, and I am not done yet. I pumped 5 times yesterday and didn't get much milk. I can see why Nadia doesn't nurse very well lately. I have only pumped 3 times so far today (will get one more in before I go to bed), and I already have pumped more than I did yesterday so things are going in the right direction, but I have a long way to go before I get anywhere near what she needs in a day. I am going to keep up this drinking a lot of water and pumping 4-5 times a day routine until January 4. I will then reassess the situation on January 5th. I am hoping my milk supply will be a lot closer to what she needs in a day by then. Does that seem possible?

Last Sunday was the first time Nadia was "talking" a little in church. Unfortunately she didn't talk during a time when people were singing but rather when the pastor was preaching. No one seemed upset. Some people just looked and smiled. I was sitting near the back. If she had been crying, I would have slipped out. I had a feeling that her days of going with me to the service were drawing to a close. I knew it was going to be "dangerous" today since I woke her up at 10am part way through a nap to take her to church. So I knew church time would be awake time. She was quiet for most of the service, but I did slip out and take her to the nursery part way through the service. I am really going to miss having her with me. I have really loved it. I think part of why it's so special is when I'm at home we're usually playing, or I am getting other work done. Church services were one of the few times I didn't feel guilty just sitting there holding her. The good news is that I really, really like this church. I have made my decision where to go, and feel relieved that my days of church shopping are over.

Paul watched Nadia roll over 4 times yesterday (two times each direction), and Paul's mom saw her roll from her back to her belly today. So now I am not the only person to have witnessed this feat, LOL.

Week in Review

Monday we spent time with my parents and brother and enjoyed dinner at the Texas Roadhouse (Paul & I had never been to one of those before). I can honestly say the "loaded" sweet potato I had there was the best sweet potato I've had in my life. I ate my side salad, rolls, and sweet potato and was so full I brought the rest of my meal home to eat the next day. Paul, my dad, and Maurice watched Prince Caspian that night. I went to bed at 8pm as I was pooped from going to bed so late the night before. My sister and her family arrived at my parents that night having spent all day in their car driving from IL. My mom commented that their driveway looked like a Corolla dealership as there were 4 Toyota Corollas out there as that's what we have, my sister's family has, my brother has, and what my mom has. The one from IL was the only one with snow on it though. :-)

Tuesday and Wednesday I had fun playing with Adam & Susie - reading books to them, painting Susie's finger and toenails red, etc. On Tuesday afternoon Paul, my dad, and Drayton went bowling, and that night Drayton, Wendy, my dad, and I played a game of Boggle. It came down to looking up one word in the dictionary to see who won. My dad had mispelled the word "reak" as "reek," but it turns out "reek" is a word meaning "prank." So our scores were tied. We suggested playing one more round to determine the winner, but he said he was happy to end with a tie (between he & I).

Wednesday morning we planned to open our gifts after breakfast. Susie & Adam were already up when Nadia got up, so I got them their cereal so we could open presents before Nadia went down for her nap. I did succeed in getting Susie, Nadia, and Adam fed, but unfortunately the other adults weren't ready so Nadia was asleep during the gift exchange. I really wanted to have her with me as my arms were empty plenty of other years at Christmas, but the contents of our gifts made it obvious that our arms are no longer empty. She's too little to really enjoy opening presents yet anyhow but NEXT year she'll be able to help open gifts and won't be taking naps in the morning so I am sure she can join in the festivities next year.

We drove back home Wednesday night, and aside from a brief crying spell when we stopped to get a snack and go to the bathroom, she slept the whole way home. Driving at night is definitely the way to go, and since we left at 6:30pm it didn't interfere with her normal sleeping schedule. One of her gifts from Grandma was a toy for her to look at in the car (has a mirror, three animals dangling down, and it plays music). We made use of that on Friday. When we got home I nursed her and then put her right to bed.

Thursday morning we exchanged gifts, and she was awake and in my arms for this one! I had purchased 8 gifts for Paul for Christmas & his birthday, so I said he could pick any 4 to open (I wrapped all of them in snowman paper). He opened his NY Giants lamp, valance, and light switch cover for his office as well as the mug with Nadia's photo all over it. I think the mug was his favorite as he washed it and started using it that very day. :-) I'm hoping today he can install the curtain rod, and then I can put his three gifts to use in his office (and take photos). Paul got a lot of NY Giants stuff this year as in addition to what I gave him , my parents gave him a leather Giants steering wheel cover for his car, his Gram gave him a Giants ornament, and his parents gave him a Giants onesie/bootie/hat set for Nadia. Paul gave me two calendars (Monet for the refrigerator at home and Steelers for my office at work). He said part of his present to me was to cook me lunch so Thursday and Friday he made me a cheese omlette each day, and today he's going to make me a grilled cheese sandwich.

Then we drove to Paul's parents house. It was Nadia's first time to be in their house. We were all supposed to gather at 12:30 to open presents before a 2:00 dinner, but Paul's brother's family was running a little behind so we ate lunch first. Around 2pm Nadia was ready for her nap, but unfortunately Paul & I forgot to bring the pack 'n play so sleeping was a challenge for her. Eventually after a LOT of screaming she fell asleep on a blanket on the floor. So she missed this gift exchange time also. She will still be taking an afternoon nap next year so we'll have to make sure the gift exchange isn't during her nap time next year. She slept well on the drive home and then enjoyed playing with her new toys before bedtime. After she went to bed, Paul & I watched "Meet Dave" which was a funny movie we both enjoyed.

Nadia made out like a bandit this year! Her favorite toys so far seem to be Dot the Musical Dragon, the stacking/nesting cups, and the stacking rings. I must add that her other favorite "toy" the last two days has been her feet. She has played with them FAR more than usual. It's so cute!

Since I hadn't purchased any toys for Nadia (aside from books) the past 6 months, yesterday we decided to buy her some toys as well now that she has gotten to the age where she can enjoy them. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and to the bank while Nadia napped. She seemed to really enjoy the snow globe my mom got her, so I got another one (50% off) at the grocery store so she can enjoy one in her bedroom and one in the family room next year. The one I bought for $6 plays 11 different songs and the snow is moved by a fan (no water inside). I also bought her some Christmas window clings that I think she'll have fun playing with next year. After she woke up and was fed, Paul & I went to Target to get a wreath for our front door. We got one for $15 that was originally $36. It looks much better than the one we had been using which was too small. I also got some Christmas paper, envelopes, and address labels for next year's letter (all 50% off). We also got Nadia a few more bottles (as the ones we had before weren't BPA free), diapers, and a toy - a Fisher Price shaper sorter that is in the shape of a cookie far. Last night I also ordered her four more toys online so Mommy & Daddy did buy her toys for Christmas after all. They are just coming a little late (not that she cares, LOL). She also received 2 sleepers, 4 dresses, and one pant outfit (the one she was wearing in the photos yesterday). Nadia is one very loved girl!!!

Today my main goals are to get back to work on the new course (haven't worked on it all week), and to keep drinking lots of water and pumping. I would appreciate prayers that my milk supply will get back up to the point that we can stop using formula. I really hope to achieve that goal. Paul has agreed for the next few days to feed her the bottles, and I am going to pump whenever she is drinking a bottle. If it doesn't work, at least I'll know I gave it my best shot! Paul has to go to school on Monday, but other than that I think he'll be home until January 5th. It's great to be able to spend more time with him!!!

Six Months (and 2 days) Old!

On Christmas Eve Nadia celebrated her 1/2 birthday! See how much she's grown!

July



December


August


December

Eating: Nadia is doing better and better each day with solid foods although some days I forget to give her some. I want to start giving her some every day and reintroduce rice cereal. So far she has eaten carrots, sweet potatoes, pears, and apples. Next will be green beans! She is still taking 20-24 ounces of formula a day in addition to nursing a few times a day. I am going to try to pump after every feeding the next few days to make another attempt to get my milk supply back up and wean her off of formula. I hope I am successful! My milk is cheaper and better for her, and she might be my only child and so I want more time nursing her than I am getting now.


Playing: Sleeping on her belly has helped a lot as has her increased ability to sit and stand and use her hands. She enjoys playing with her toes and her new toys. She was laughing at her reflection in the mirror while sitting in her walker today, LOL! Of course she still loves music!

Sleeping: We are down to one feeding a night. The last few nights this has been sometime between 3-4am. There are still some days when she wants to get up at 6am or earlier, but it's becoming more frequent that she doesn't wake up until after 7am (yay!). The total amount she's sleeping at night is now usually (although not last night!) at least 11 hours and the record was one night at my parents she slept a total of 12 hours and 40 minutes. Wow! As long as we stick to the schedule (and don't forget to bring the pack n play to Paul's parents house - oops!) she does well with her naps. She usually has 3 naps a day of which 2 are 1-2 hours long and 1 is only 45 minutes. Some days she has only 2 naps and others she still has 4. Her naps keep getting longer and longer. The record is 2 1/2 hours - also in my parents pack n' play at their house this week.

Merry Christmas!

What a special Christmas this was for our family since it was Nadia's first! Of course she is our favorite gift. :-) I'll write more tomorrow and also take and post the 6 month photos (2 days late). Here are some photos from the last four days. I hope each of you had a very special time with your family this week!!! Merry Christmas!!!

Isn't she so cute in the outfit she wore on Christmas Eve at Ruth's parents' house? We were there from Sunday evening to Wednesday evening.


Ruth's sister's family arrived in MD (from Chicago) on Monday night. It was great to spend time playing with Adam (22 months) and Susie (4 1/2 years old). When Susie showed me the message she created she imitated me by saying "Nadia, sweet, sweet, sweet Nadia" in the same intonation I use. :-)

We arrived back at home about 9pm on Christmas Eve and spent Christmas Day at Paul's parents' house. They gave her a walker - what fun! :-)

Once we got back home from celebrating with Paul's family, Nadia had some time to play with her new toys before going to bed. What fun!! Tummy time has already been going much better now that she sleeps on her belly, and she really enjoyed playing with her toys on her belly this evening and started to make attempts at scooting towards them. I think she's going to become more mobile very soon! Her sitting skills have also vastly improved lately. I think she'll be sitting unassisted within the next week or so.

To Grandmother's House We Go

We plan to leave for MD around 4:30 today. Hopefully Nadia will sleep most of the way. We're also going to stop at an Ollie's on the way down as I haven't been to one since before Nadia was born, and I am in withdrawal. Yes, this means more books for Nadia!!! :-) I'll probably also get some for Susie's 5th birthday even though that's not for several months. She LOVES to read!
Friday night I had planned to attend a concert at what I think will become my new church, but the roads were NOT good that day so I didn't want to venture out that night. Yesterday the roads were fine, but it's snowing again as I type. I really want to go to their service this morning as they're doing a Christmas cantata at 10:15. Of course the church could cancel the service for all I know. Paul is braver driving in the snow than I am, so maybe he'll take us if the service goes on as scheduled. Thankfully the snow is supposed to stop by 3pm so we should be okay driving to MD later today.

Friday night Nadia's first wake up was at 11:15pm which was only about 4 hours after she went down which made me nervous, but I nursed her a little and put her back down and she slept all the way until 7:10am!!! WOOHOO! I can tell that when she gets up it's not really because she's starving. A few nights ago when I gave her a bottle she only needed 2 ounces and that would never be enough during the day time. So these night time wakings are for other reasons - not that she is super hungry. I think she just wants to snuggle. So I was thinking that after we get back from MD I'd work on getting her to stay in her crib the full 12 hours. Well last night wasn't a good night. She went down at 6:45 and woke up the first time at 11:30. I thought it was early but thought it would just be a deja vu of the night before. However she woke up again at 3 something or other. I just checked to make sure I didn't smell a poopy diaper and then let her CIO. She then woke up again at 5:50, and after letting her cry 5 minutes I let her get up for the day. One thing I can say is that she is NOT predictable at night these days. One day she sleeps 11 hours straight, and the next the longest stretch is 4 hours. Go figure! Hopefully she'll sleep well in the pack-n-play at my parents as I don't want her crying to keep my parents or brother awake during the night.

Winter Wonderland!

We got about 5 inches of snow so this was our most significant snowfall so far this winter. I put Nadia's hand in it, but that's about it as far as her "playing" in the snow. It will be a lot more fun for her a year from now. I can't wait to build our first snowman together!!!

Yesterday Nadia's last nap ended at 3:30, and she wouldn't take another one around 5:00 so this meant she fell asleep in my arms at 6:10. So she went to bed earlier than I'd like her to. Then she woke up at 9:30. I let her cry and she fell asleep within less than 5 minutes. Then she woke up again around midnight, and this time I decided to feed her although it was earlier than she had been nursing lately. Since I had pumped before I went to bed, I didn't have enough milk for her (especially since lately she hadn't been nursing until 4am or later). So I ended up giving her two ounces of pumped milk in a bottle, and she fell back asleep and slept until 6am. So it was still a one feeding night although the feeding was earlier. One plus of her sleeping on her belly is that tummy time goes a lot better these days.

Yesterday and today Nadia has eaten a container (3.5 ounces) of sweet potatoes! YAY! Of course now this means her clothes are not staying quite as clean as they usually do. :-) I am going to try rice cereal again tomorrow now that she is doing so much better with eating solids although by no means has she mastered how to use her tongue for solids yet.

Getting Better

Well thanks to the encouragement from Regina and Lisa, I decided to try rice cereal again today (I didn't try it yesterday since she made such awful faces on Tuesday). It went much better! Of course a lot is still coming out of her mouth, but at least she didn't gag and didn't make those faces like I just put the most terrible stuff in her mouth. I am not saying a whole lot made it to her belly, but it definitely seemed like progress. We'll keep working on it!

Other changes with Nadia lately would be that her attention span when reading books to her is getting much longer. I can now read several books in a row - even ones that take longer. She seems to like the flap books in particular. Now when it comes to a book + music she's had a long attention span for quite awhile so I am referring now to books without music. Also she's getting better at sitting on her own. She doesn't topple over anymore, but she still is leaning forward quite a bit. I tried to get a pic yesterday of her sitting on her own looking at a book. It was so cute. I'll try again today. She does study the pictures rather intently!

As for sleeping, she went down at 7:10 and thankfully only cried 20 minutes last night. That's much longer than usual but a lot shorter than Tuesday night. It's so hard to listen to her cry, but I want her to learn how to put herself to sleep on her belly (since she keeps rolling over onto her belly now). Then she slept until 4:15am. I let her cry a few minutes, but it didn't seem like she was going back to sleep so I nursed her for about 15 minutes and she then slept until 7:05am. YAY! So altogether she got a little more than 11 hours sleep. The nice part about the one feeding being so late (4:15) was that it meant I got more hours of sleep in a row. YAHOO! I'd acutally prefer doing one feeding if it meant I could get up at 7am rather than 6am. Yesterday was an amazing day in terms of naps -she had one nap that was 80 minutes, two that were 45 minutes each, and one that was two hours! I wouldn't have given her 4 naps except she got up at 6am yesterday. It's funny because when they are younger they're supposed to get more sleep (as far as total hours sleeping per day), but she's definitely getting more hours of sleep total now than she did when she was younger. Well the naps are definitely helping me prepare for the new class. I forgot how much time it takes to write a new syllabus, course outline, PowerPoints, etc. However I am enjoying it. I think this will be a fun class to teach (graduate course).

I finally came up with a suggestion for Paul for Christmas. I asked him to get me a large mirror for the one bare wall in the dining room. He doesn't have many shopping days left as we leave for MD on Sunday so he really needs to finish shopping by Saturday as we'll get back late on Wed pm, and we usually open our gifts on Christmas morning. He's still been going to school every day although his exam was on Monday. He's started working on learning computer programming (necessary for doing computational chemistry). The three books I got him recently for that were on Fortran, Linux, and Perl. I think Fortran is the language he is learning. He said he wrote his first program yesterday. He never thought he'd be learning computer programming, but he is! I hope that before the spring semester starts he also finishes his master's thesis.

Kisses for Mommy

Well last night was the first night ever of no feedings during the night. I put her down at about 7:15pm and although she was very tired, it was about 8:00 by the time she fell asleep. She hasn't cried more than 5 minutes in a long time and in fact many times doesn't cry at all when she's put down, but she's having to learn all over again how to soothe herself now that she's sleeping on her belly. Paul wanted me to go flip her, but everytime I do she just flips right back, and I don't want going to sleep to become a struggle again. Naps have gone fine today so I think she is learning how to fall asleep even if she rolls onto her belly. Well she made not a peep from 8pm until 5:30am. I contemplated nursing her and putting her back down, but that didn't work on Tuesday so I decided to see if she'd go back to sleep and sure enough she cried about 2 minutes and went back to sleep. However when she woke up again at 6am I decided that was a big step of progress that she was in bed for almost 11 hours (and slept 10 of those). I nursed her in total darkness (for 35 minutes - she was hungry!), but she was WIDE awake so I let her get up for the day.

In the last week there hasn't been any change in terms of nursing. She's holding steady at how many ounces she takes by bottle every day (20-24). I am trying not to let it bother me. At least she isn't continuing to decrease how much she takes from me (yet anyhow). I tried her on solid foods again yesterday as she sees the Dr for her 6 month appt on Dec 30, and at the 4 month appt the Dr had said to start solids so I thought I should give it another try before her appt (she turns 6 months a week from today). She gets really excited when she sees me eating or drinking and looks at me like aren't you going to give me some? Well I tried the rice cereal again and again she made a face like I just put the most nasty stuff in her mouth and why would you do that to me Mommy? Should I just wait longer or keep trying? She likes to lick things like a cracker or a banana or a piece of bread, but of course she's not really eating when she's doing that.

If you can't already tell, I just love this girl to pieces. I keep trying to think of a suggestion for what Paul could get me (as he really would like an idea from me), and I honestly cannot think of anything. I just am so thrilled to finally have a sweet baby in my arms. I have waited so long for this. What more could I ask for? I love snuggling with her, tickling her, "talking" with her, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, and seeing those looks of love in her eyes. For months I've done a ritual of putting her (open) mouth up to Daddy's cheeks a few times a day as I say "kiss daddy." I rarely think of having her kiss Mommy although I've also had her kiss Grandma, Grandpa, etc (Uncle Maurice wasn't exactly appreciative of slobber on his cheek, LOL). Of course I kiss her hundreds of times a day. Well this morning she aimed her head in the direction of my cheek and planted a "kiss" on me. She was beaming after she "kissed" me. I just about started crying it was so sweet (and slobbery!). Even when she's napping and I'm busy working on schoolwork (I've been working on the new course this week), it just feels different than before. I know I'm not alone in the house, and I love that feeling.

I took two short videos of her laughing this morning. It's probably best not to look but just listen. The visual part is awful as my arm was bouncing around. It's a challenge to tickle a baby and film a video clip at the same time! I wanted to share the sweet sound of her laughter though. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUKQKIPvtps
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSH_2GzmY8A

Dental Decisions

Last night Nadia was well behaved at Red Lobster especially considering how late it was (for her). Paul had salmon, his dad had shrimp, and Paul's mom & I had chicken. I don't like seafood, but I agree with you, Erica, that their bicuits are very delicious! She cried some on the way home and then slept for maybe 10 minutes in the car. When she got home she had a second wind so I fed her and changed her and played a little. She didn't go to bed until 8:45pm. She hasn't been up past 8pm in a LONG time and in fact usually is in bed by 7pm. I was hoping this would mean she'd sleep in for Paul this morning while I was at the dentist as I had an appt at 7am. Well the good news was she woke up at 1am, but I decided that was too soon to nurse her so I decided to see if she'd fall asleep after crying less than 5 minutes, and she did. The next time she woke up was 5:40am. SO that means she went 9 hours between feedings! That was wonderful! The bad news was that although I tried very hard to keep her in "nighttime" mode (I usually turn the hallway light on but not her light when nursing her but last night I even left the hallway light off so I was nursing her in the dark) she decided it was time to get up. She cooed in bed for about 20 minutes and then switched to crying. After about 30 minutes of crying I rescued her. I think part of the problem is that she has trouble soothing herself when she's on her tummy and now she is on her belly more than on her back when we go to get her after a nap or during the night. Her crib sheet hasn't had many fluids on it the past 6 months (I'd say fewer than 5 times she's either spit up or peed on it), but now it gets soaked in tears. :-( Her usual soothing position the last couple of months has been to roll on her side and suck her thumb, and she can't suck her thumb while she's on her belly.

Flipping her over is pointless though as every time we do it she is back on her belly within a couple of minutes. Unless we want to stay in her room every time she's in her crib, she's going to sleep on her belly some. Paul seemed concern but I reassured him that he and I and almost every adult our age ALWAYS slept on their belly as that was what parents were told to do back then so I am sure she'll survive sleeping on her belly now that she's almost 6 months old. We still put her down on her back, but if she flips, she flips. So anyhow hopefully she'll get more sleep tonight. 10-11 hours has been her norm for about 4 months now, and she got 12 hours two nights ago so 9 hours was definitely too little. So much for keeping her up later helping her sleep in later! We were celebrating Paul's dad's birthday, but of course they came bearing gifts for Nadia. As Paul's dad said, it's their job to spoil her. :-) She received a cute lilac pant outfit that she wore today as well as a baby's first Christmas ornament.

TWELVE hours!!

Well Nadia got the most sleep last night - EVER. She went down at 7pm and surprisingly woke up at 9:30. I checked upstairs to see if she was on her belly or had a poopy diaper, but she was on her back and there wasn't any odor in the room so I let her cry a few minutes and she went back to sleep. The next time she woke up was after 1am. Yay! I nursed her and then the BIG surprise is (drum roll, please) she then slept until 7:30am! WOW!!! When I went in to get her at 7:30 she was on her belly, so maybe she will sleep better on her belly than her back? Altogether she got 12 hours of sleep! I think 11 hours total was the previous high. This meant that even though I stayed up late (10pm) to watch 1/2 of Paul's football game, I still got a good amount of sleep. May this become the new norm!!! :-) I told Paul that Nadia gave her Mommy an early Christmas present that I could stay in bed until 7:30am. Paul on the other hand stayed up the WHOLE night studying. He's driving to PSU right now to take his Quantum Mechanics exam. I'm praying for him this morning to do his very best!!! Go, Paul!

Tonight we are taking Paul's parents out to dinner at Red Lobster to celebrate his Dad's birthday which will be on Saturday. They haven't seen Nadia since Thanksgiving so I know they are looking forward to spending time with her. They miss her! :-) Paul loves Red Lobster so he'll also be glad we're going there. He always used to get a 6" lobster tail with his fish dinner, but he had to stop as lobster has given him horrible heartburn the last few years. He loves the cheesy biscuits they serve with the meals as well as the ceasar salad so it's still probably his favorite restaurant even though he doesn't eat lobster any more.

Of course she's at the stage where EVERYTHING goes into her mouth. So the photos here are from yesterday of her "eating" a weasel. What does weasel taste like? Chicken perhaps, LOL? Of course she's also been seen eating an elephant. She also loves to talk to the animals. Definitely the animal she talks to the most is the lion that hangs down from her gym. I have asked her if she's the next "Dr. Doolittle." :-) The only book she's tried to eat (so far) is her bath book which is a great relief to Paul. He is not very accepting of the idea that she's going to try to eat other books also. Ha Ha!

On Her Belly

Friday night when I rolled her back on to her back before I went to bed, she didn't wake up, and she stayed on her back. Last night Paul put her down at 7pm, and when I got home at 9:30pm I found her on her belly. This time she woke up when I rolled her over, but thankfully in less than 5 minutes she was back asleep. I pumped and then went up to go to bed and found she was already on her belly again. There didn't seem to be any point in flipping her over again if she was going to go back on her belly every few minutes I called my sister on the phone, and she said a friend of hers (whose dh is a doctor) said that if they're strong enough to roll over that the risk of SIDS is very small. So I let her sleep on her belly until she woke up about midnight. Now that had only been five hours, but since she was on her belly I decided to go nurse her. Well I shouldn't have pumped so late as she refused to nurse. So Paul gave her the bottle of pumped milk. She then cried at 3:30 and 5:30am. I checked at 3:30, and she was on her back thankfully. Those two times she only cried a couple of minutes and then went back to sleep, but starting at 6:15am she was crying more often than not so I went and got her at 6:50. That was the first time I went that long without nursing her (ever) since she refused me at midnight so I actually was leaking on my clothes for the first time in a long time. She didn't refuse to nurse this morning that is for sure, LOL!

So does anyone else have any input on a baby sleeping on her belly even though you put her down on her back? Paul says although he knows I think she's growing up too fast, this is one reason he's looking forward to her being out of this stage - he will be glad when she's totally past the risk of SIDS.

Christmas Dinner

We don't have any Christmas parties to attend per se, but I had a Christmas luncheon at an Italian restaurant with my colleagues at work on Dec 5th, and tonight I am attending a Christmas dinner at another restaurant with the handbell choir. Paul was invited to the event tonight, but #1 we don't have a babysitter and #2 Paul really doesn't enjoy these types of events so he truly doesn't mind staying home and studying while Nadia sleeps. I plan to make the announcement tonight that we are leaving the church. I am not looking forward to that at all. Of course it's not like we've moved really far away and can't visit from time to time, but still it won't be the same. I've enjoyed playing in the bell choir the past 4 1/2 years. Even if we didn't switch churches, I don't think I could play with the handbells as with my schedule of teaching 2 nights a week I will likely be teaching on Monday nights for awhile.

Today I ordered some pictures from Kodak. It's wonderful being able to take hundreds (or thousands, LOL) of digital pictures, and I do weed out a lot of those even as far as what I save on the computer, but I also want some that I can have a copy of for a scrapbook (haven't started that yet) or for the frig or whatever. I think I ordered about 45 pictures which isn't bad considering I hadn't ordered any since July. I also ordered two photo gifts - an ornament that the whole thing will be covered by Nadia's picture on both sides (one of the recent photos of her wearing the My 1st Christmas outfit) and a coffee mug for Paul (I should say "tea mug" as he only drinks tea in it, LOL). The mug has his favorite photo repeated all over (one of the ones used for our Christmas cards). So I guess I wasn't done Christmas shopping yesterday! :-) Maybe now I'm done. I think he'll like the mug and ornament. It will be a treasure to hang that on our tree every year.

Nadia is weaning herself off of me. It's really sad. It's hard not to burst into tears as I type this. When she first came home we were giving her about 2 ounces a day of formula in addition to nursing and then gradually that went to 4 ounces. Then when I started teaching it went to 6 ounces that the babysitter would give her while I taught. That lasted for awhile and then she went to 8 ounces a day. I was hoping we could stay at that but for awhile she jumped to 12 ounces. Then over Thanksgiving I got her back down to 8 ounces. Well about a week ago for some unknown reason it jumped back to 12 ounces and then this week has jumped to about 22 ounces a day of bottle (18 of formula and 4 of my milk). I have NO idea why it's gone up at the very time I was trying to get it to go down. I was hoping to wean her off of formula starting this week and in fact the opposite seems to be happening. I was pumping 3 times a day in the beginning of the week but that's been tapering off as she just screams half of the time when I try to get her to nurse even times when I am SURE I have milk. She just doesn't want me any more sometimes. :-( She still nurses fine at the midnight or 1am feeding and also when she gets up at 6-7am, but the rest of the day it's hit or miss whether she'll nurse or if she'll just scream until we make her a bottle.

This has been very hard for me emotionally. Ironically the first two months, nursing was painful for me. Then finally it didn't hurt. Of course in the very beginning it was all so very stressful in light of her not gaining weight, trying to get her to nurse without the shield, etc. The last almost 4 months it hasn't been stressful or painful for the most part. The only time it's been painful recently has been when I've gone too long w/o nursing due to her sleeping more at night or me being away at work and unable to nurse. The real irony is that now I am at home with her all the time and in the next semester will only be away two afternoons/evenings a week so I could nurse her and definitely pump enough for those two days that she shouldn't need any formula any more. That was my goal. My other goal was to nurse her until she was 12 months old. I really feel so disappointed that it doesn't seem like that will happen. I'm going to keep nursing her in this supplemental fashion for as long as she wants to nurse, but of course I am not wanting the midnight feeding to continue forever so the amount of ounces she gets from me a day will decrease. Plus I have no idea if at some point she'll just reject me totally. So far she'll still accept me a few times a day. I don't know how many ounces she's getting a day from me. If I pump at night before I go to bed I still get about 4 ounces in 10 minutes.

Aside from the savings of $$ and also the fact that my milk is the best thing for her physically, it has been wonderful for me emotionally although not so for the first about 2 months. It's so special to feel so close to her, and over the last couple of months she often will pop off and give me a smile that is different from her other smiles and then gets back on (such a change from when it was SUCH a struggle to get her to latch on!). I wish I could have a photo of that smile but of course the photo would be indecent so no such photo exists. I am afraid the memory will fade. I am trying to hold onto it as long as possible. Also, I know that losing weight is going to be harder for me now. I had been losing weight without even trying, and then I think I got too laid back about watching what I was eating and I started gaining again. So I've been more careful lately and my weight is going back down again. I am not quite down to where I was at 13weeks pg, but I am almost there. However, I still really need to lose about 15 lbs as I had gained some in between the fresh transfer and FET. I'd like all my clothes to fit me, and if by any chance I do get pg again some day, I want to start a little lower this time than I did when I got pg with Nadia.

That's the other topic that comes up in my mind when I think my nursing days might end sooner than expected. I had thought we'd do IVF again after I weaned Nadia, but I was thinking that would be in the summer. So do we start the process sooner? I'll be 37 in April so obviously time is not on our side in terms of my egg quality so maybe sooner is better than later. Also, I have 18 weeks of paid sick leave accumulated at work so having a baby during the school year would mean I could use some of that (which I couldn't when I had Nadia in the summer). For example if I had a baby the end of February I could probably take almost a whole semester off using paid sick leave (in which case I would work FT that semester) as I would have March/April paid through the 8 weeks allowed post partum, and then I could probably have the month of February off as I imagine since I had Nadia almost 4 weeks early the doctor would probably want me to quit work earlier to try to avoid preterm labor with #2. Of course this is all presuming IVF #2 would work which of course it very well might not work at all, but if it would work then March might be the time to start the process up again since it takes about 2 months from the start until the transfer. Well enough of all that...

Last night Nadia did well the first stretch (didn't wake up until about 1am), but then after that there were MANY tears. I got her up at 6am as she had cried so much off and on since 3:30am. In light of her early wake up time, I did have her take 4 naps today (two long and two short) so tonight she should be able to stay up until 7pm which will hopefully mean she doesn't need to get up at 6am tomorrow. When I went to bed at 7:30 I noticed she was on her belly, so I flipped her but thankfully that didn't wake her up.

The next thing I need to video is her laughing. Sometimes she just laughs a loud laugh for a long time. It's the most beautiful sound in the whole wide world to me! What more could I want for Christmas than to hear my sweet girl's laughter and cooing and see her smile? :-)

O Christmas Tree

This morning I put Nadia in the Snugli and "we" put the ornaments and bows on the tree. Near the end I called Paul down to come join us so we could do it as a family for a little bit. My energy level is higher in the morning so I enjoyed it more this morning than I would have this evening. I am glad Paul really wanted to get a tree. If it was up to me, we wouldn't have gotten one this year. Usually we get our tree the day after Thanksgiving and decorate it the same day or the next day at the latest. This was the longest our tree sat in the living room before being decorated, and Thanksgiving was even on the late side this year.

Today I finished my Christmas and birthday shopping and also finished wrapping all the gifts that are in the house (some are en route)! There are several bdays in Dec/Jan/Feb so I shop for those gifts at the same time as when I do my Christmas shopping. I did some online and then went to Walmart for a few of the last items.

Last night I nursed her a little earlier than I'd like to, but she had already cried an hour. The good news was that when I put her back down at midnight, she slept until 6:30am which was awesome! I let her get up then since she did so well at sleeping 6 1/2 hours straight. One of the nice things of her taking longer naps are that now I can go to the store and come back before she wakes up from her nap (like when I went to Walmart today). Of course that's only helpful when Paul is home. :-)Sometimes what interferes with her sleep (at night or during naps) is that she rolls over. Although she liked sleeping on her belly in the NICU, she doesn't like it any more (which is good due to the increased risk of SIDS if she's asleep on her belly). Oh and speaking of rolling over, Paul finally witnessed her performing that feat, LOL.

My last update for the day will be that according to my scale - with clothes on (and a dry diaper), Nadia now weighs 15 lbs! She's a growing girl!!! Sometimes I wish she wouldn't grow up quite so fast.

3 Naps

I figured that we would be dropping a nap now that Nadia's naps are getting longer, and sure enough the last two days she's only had 3 naps even though she's been home all day (sometimes she misses naps because we're away from home). She's not 100% consistent as to which two are the long ones, but she is pretty consistent in having two long (meaning greater than an hour) and one short (45 minutes or less) a day. I would say that her total time sleeping during naps per day has actually increased a little.

Last night I was able to keep her up until 7:45pm, but most nights it seems that she is ready to conk out by 6:30pm. Going to bed later last night didn't help any in terms of when her first feeding was like I had hoped it would. Thankfully if she wakes up prior to when I'll feed her, she only cries maybe 2 minutes and then goes back to sleep. However that is not the case later in the night. Tuesday night I fed her a second time to see if doing so would enable her to sleep until 7am. It did no good whatsoever as she woke up only an hour later and then cried off and on for a long period of time until I went and got her at 6:30am. So last night I decided not to go get her until 7am. She cried quite a bit. I was about to cave at 6:30am, but just as I went to get her she fell asleep and slept almost an hour more. So she didn't really get up out of bed until almost 7:30am which is very late for her, LOL! I am hoping if I am consistent about not feeding her a second time and not letting her get up before 7am that there won't be so much crying involved. There are more and more times these days that she goes down for a nap or for bed without any crying which is very nice. I really don't like to hear her cry!!

We put lights and the star on our Christmas tree tonight. We've never had a tree this long before decorating it, and we still didn't finish. I am just lacking the desire to do it. Paul is taking the lead, and usually I'm the motivated one when it comes to decorating. I feel like a Scrooge or Grinch, but I'm just tired to be quite honest.

Snugli and Sleep

 

I did a little decorating this morning - put the Christmas tablecloth on the dining room table, put a wreath on the front door, put out the Christmas welcome mats, and put the skirt under the tree. I also started working on preparing for my spring courses by revising the syllabus of the course I have taught before (this will be my 9th semester teaching it). We also went grocery shopping. I took the Snugli. That works so much better to use that to carry Nadia as then I still have my two hands free. She likes facing out and seeing everything in the store.

The sleep update would be that yesterday we had a new record for the longest nap in a crib as her morning nap was 5 minutes shy of 2 hours long. Go Nadia! This morning she woke up after only 40 minutes but instead of going to get her ASAP as I usually do, I decided to let her cry up to 5 minutes and sure enough she fell back asleep in that time frame and slept another 45 minutes. She is now taking 2 longer naps and 2 shorter naps a day as long as her schedule isn't interrupted due to church or shopping or whatever. I can't say things are going better at night though. There is a lot of crying going on. I nursed her once last night at 1am (6 hours after she went down) and finally got her at 6am although she had been awake for quite awhile before that (crying off and on). I can't sleep through her crying any more even if her door and my door are shut. Her voice has gotten louder! I think I'd actually get more sleep if I kept nursing her twice as then she'd go back to sleep and my day wouldn't have to start quite so early, but I know she really doesn't need the milk as when I do nurse her that one time she only nurses a few short minutes and then falls asleep. I wanted to work on shifting the one feeding to 8 hours after she goes down, but she woke up a couple of times prior to 1am so I was thinking 6 hours was good enough last night. I love her soooooooooo much and would rather be not getting a good night's sleep than have empty arms like I did prior to her arrival, but let me tell you I am so looking forward to the night when I finally get to sleep through the night. I didn't realize it might be 6 months or more before that happened!

Upside Down

Well Nadia's newest pleasures include flipping herself backwards so her head is upside down, playing with her feet, and standing while holding on to something (for just a few seconds). Of the three activities I just mentioned, her favorite by FAR is being upside down. She's the backbend queen!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got a lot done today in terms of cleaning, wrapping presents, catching up on email, etc. I also did some more Christmas shopping. I have only 5 people left to shop for. Of course the best parts of the day were "talking" with Nadia, listening to her laugh, etc. :-)

Hard to leave

This morning we had our Christmas program at church at 8:00 and 10:45. Paul & Nadia were there at the 8:00 service. My mom was going to come (from MD), but she's been sick and of course didn't want to pass the bug on to Nadia. I played my flute for two songs and with the handbells for four songs. It was very emotional for me as who knows when I'll play handbells again. I had played in high school and then again after I graduated from college, but I didn't play them from 1994-2004. Who knows when I might play them again. I did play my flute a lot at this church also. I used to do flute solos at other churches, but at this church the senior choir and handbell choir directors picked songs that had flute solos quite a few times a year, so I have played my flute a lot more here. I will miss that also. Plus it takes awhile (for me anyhow) to make friends at a new church. It touches my heart sooo much to see how much everyone there loves Nadia. I will miss that. I'm such a wimp; I still have only told two people (the senior pastor and one friend) that I'm leaving. I plan to tell the handbell choir at our Christmas party on Saturday night. Pray I actually have the guts to do so. I know it wouldn't be right just to fade away without saying anything. Since the church has 2 services, it is possible to stop going and most people not realize it. No one has asked me where I've been lately, but I know the handbell choir would notice my absence although even if I kept going to that church I couldn't be in the bell choir starting in January as I'm teaching on the night we rehearse. I plan to join the choir at the new church. At least I get to keep singing in a choir. Not every church has a choir.

Visiting other churches has reminded me again of all the little ways churches vary from each other such as how dressed up they do or don't get, what style of music (choruses or hymns, praise band or piano/organ, etc.), do they sing the doxology after collecting the offering each week, how often do they take communion in a year, do they clap during the service, do families take babies into the service or put them in the nursery, etc. Sometimes it hasn't been really emotionally hard to leave a church, but this time it is hard. I think the preaching is excellent, love the music, and have made friends. However, there is only one person in the church whom I really have contact with outside of the church walls, and she says we'll still keep in touch even though we won't be in handbell choir together any more. I am grateful for that. She's a dear friend. :-)

Yesterday afternoon I finished grading papers. YAHOO! Tomorrow I am going to focus on cleaning the house - something I have been neglecting lately. Another goal for tomorrow is to start pumping after every feeding. I am going to try that for a few days to see if I can get my milk supply up. I can tell it's going in the wrong direction right now. If I can't, I might switch 100% to formula as it's not worth the stress even though I start to feel like a failure which isn't a good feeling. I really would love to nurse her until she's 12 months old, but maybe 6 months is as far as we'll go. We shall see if I can turn things around this week or not.

Tomorrow I also need to figure out what schedule to request for fall 2009. I already put my request for the summer in last week. Our department chair is setting the summer and fall 2009 schedules on Tuesday. He asked me on Friday if I am going to be FT in the fall. I couldn't believe I need to make that decision already. Paul and I talked about it this weekend, and we're hoping I can stay PT. I want to be home with our "peanut" as much as possible!!!! However, it's not a guarantee that the President will approve my request for childrearing leave (when I ask for it - I won't ask for a few months); so I want to figure out what schedule would be best if I had to be FT. I know I want 2 night classes in case my request is approved and I continue to have a PT schedule. For the summer schedule I asked to teach two classes (6 credits). I said I preferred to teach one class each session (there are 2 summer sessions), and I preferred to teach classes that meet two nights a week (5-8pm). I think my chair will grant those requests.

Yesterday we got our Christmas tree. As soon as it's decorated, I'll take some photos. In our previous homes we had the tree in a room where we saw it frequently, but in this house it's in our living room which we aren't in that often. We were surprised how expensive the trees were around here given we are surounded by Christmas tree farms. We paid about twice as much as we paid the last few years for a tree. We might need to get an artificial one in the future. I don't think Paul has ever had an artificial tree. Hopefully Nadia will enjoy looking at the tree once we get the lights up on it

Christmas Luncheon

Yesterday was a two trip day to work again, but the second trip was with Nadia as it was just for a 2pm luncheon at an Italian restaurant. We were there for 1 hour and 45 minutes, and she was great. She slept on the way there, and then was awake most of the time at the restaurant. She slept in my arms the last few minutes and then eventually fell back asleep in the car on the way home (cried quite a bit first). I dressed her up in the same outfit she had her Christmas photo taken in, and she looked adorable! Her first two naps yesterday were again 90 minutes each, and due to the luncheon those were the only naps taken in a crib yesterday. So she went to bed a little earlier (6pm).

I let her cry the first few times she woke up last night (first was 11pm), and each time she fell back asleep after crying less than 5 minutes. I nursed her when she woke up at 2:45am (almost 9 hours since she had gone down). Again she nursed a very short while and fell back asleep so this confirms in my mind she could go 12 hours without being nursed. The next time she woke up was 6am, and I let her get up then since I had put her down at 6pm the night before. So last night was just a one feeding night!

This morning I am headed off to dress rehearsal at church which starts at 8:30am for our Christmas program tomorrow morning. Today I plan to finish grading papers - only a few left! I also think we'll get our Christmas tree today. I am not really in the mood, but if we don't get it soon it doesn't make sense to get one at all. I think Nadia will like looking at the pretty lights, and we don't have to worry about her taking down ornaments until next year.

Daddy's Little Girl

Yesterday Nadia's first and second naps were each 90 minutes long. AMAZING!!! I had gotten some grading done, and I figured Nadia didn't need 4 naps since the first 2 were twice as long as usual, so I decided we'd go shopping. In the first store she was fine with being pushed around in the stroller, but that wore off part way through the second store. I need to start taking the Snugli with me or find another sling. The sling I used at first she doesn't like any more as that one doesn't allow her to look out which is what she likes to do. My wrist was killing me by the end of my shopping trip, and it was a challenge to carry my purchases in one hand and her in the other (particularly at Borders). I went to 3 stores. After Borders I made a quick stop at Dairy Queen (also inside the mall) for a Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard - my favorite which I hadn't had in many months.

Speaking of my wrist, I am wondering if I should go to a doctor. I am really glad I went to the dentist regarding my mouth pain. I really am convinced this tooth has been a problem in the past (such as in the spring). Although the root canal wasn't fun, I am very glad I had it done (well it's not complete but I already am free of pain). So I wonder if it would be the same about my wrist - that I'd be glad I went to a doctor. There are many nights it keeps me up as it hurts so much and I can't find a position where it's comfortable. In the morning (or when I get up to nurse in the middle of the night), I cannot even move any of my fingers in that hand at first.

Before we left on the shopping trip, I put the Giants hoodie on Nadia for the first time. It actually fit quite well which surprised me as it is size 12 months. So of course I had to pose her with her Daddy. The lady who rang up our purchases at Borders was very pleased to see Nadia's jacket as she is also a Giants fan. :-)

During the shopping trip Nadia got very tired as usually I put her down after she's been awake for 90-120 minutes. She did sleep on the way home but that was for only 15 minutes. So when we got home I thought she'd go down for a third and final (45 minute) nap as she had been up for 3 hours at that point. She woke up when I got her out of the car so I nursed her and then put her down but she cried. I nursed her some more and put her down again and she cried some more. So I figured she didn't need a nap. Surprisingly she was in a good mood and played nicely until almost 7pm when I put her down. That means aside from a 15 minute nap in the car she had been up for almost 6 hours straight. Yikes that's never happened! I am thinking that the norm for the next while will be that she'll have two long naps and one short one, but today she just had two long ones (as 15 minutes doesn't count as a nap in my book). It is SUCH a relief to me that now she is getting so good at taking naps. I'll be able to get more done (or get a decent nap myself) if I have 90 minutes rather than just 45. Hopefully she'll take a good nap for Paul this morning so he can get more studying done while I'm teaching my last class of the semester.

Last night her first stretch was almost 7 hours. She didn't cry At All when she went down a little before 7pm and didn't cry at all until she woke up a little before 2am. Yay! She cried a little(maybe 2 minutes) when I put her down after nursing her. Unfortunately the next stretch was only a little more than 3 hours and letting her cry didn't work so eventually I went and nursed her at 5:40, and she was WIDE awake and not ready to go back to bed so her day started earlier than I'd like it to, but we'll keep working on that. Yesterday she did better in that regard. However the fact she slept 7 hours the first stretch was very good! Go Nadia! :-)

Make that Two

Yesterday I do believe is the first day Nadia ever took two naps in her crib that were both greater than an hour long. The 2nd nap of the day was 90 minutes, and the 3rd nap of the day was 75 minutes long. WOOHOO! The 1st and 4th naps were 45 minutes or less as expected. I think two longer naps a day is the most she'll ever have. I would like to say I used the extra time I had to make a lot of progress with my grading, but I ended up working on our Christmas cards/letters instead. They are now in the mail! I wish I had ordered a few more cards. Also, I probably should have ordered 40 of the one with the photo Paul picked instead of 20 of two different designs as everyone seems to favor his choice. I'll just go with whatever he picks next year. :-)
Last night I made sure Nadia's belly was really full before she went to bed. I nursed her and offered her a bottle in case I didn't have enough milk to fill her belly which proved to be true as she drank several ounces of formula. She woke up as expected 4 hours after I put her down, but I let her cry and she cried only about 5 minutes and went back to sleep. YAY! She woke up again 2 hours later, and I decided to nurse her because I wasn't sleeping anyhow as I was too full of milk. The next time she woke up was after 6am. I let her coo in bed for awhile, and then decided to go get her at 6:40 even though it wasn't quite 7:00 as again I was very ready to nurse her as it had been about 5 hours since I had finished nursing her the last time. So I am very glad we only had one feeding (1:05-1:25am), and I am quite certain in the near future we can get her down to zero feedings. I want to make the transition a bit gradual in part for my body's sake. I honestly think she doesn't need the milk as she falls asleep after only nursing a couple of minutes. I think she's just getting up out of habit; so that's a habit I'd like to break over the next maybe week or so. For now I am going to stick with that the first feeding can be no sooner than 6 hours after she goes down. This is very exciting progress to me!

As I was looking through older pictures of Nadia yesterday, I realized that some changes happen in such a way that if you are seeing a child every day you don't really notice them. My mom noticed when they were up here for Thanksgiving that Nadia's belly button is no where near as noticeable as before (although it's still an outie). Another example would be her hair. Looking at photos I was amazed at how much hair she used to have. I didn't notice it falling out. She didn't lose all of it as the part in the very back at the bottom is still dark and long (what would go over the collar of a dress). I think part of why she still seems to have less hair than she did at birth is the new hair that has been coming in is much lighter in color.

Nadia's morning nap has already been 75 minutes long, and she's still asleep! Well I'd better get back to grading papers. I did get some done already this morning. I am determined to make significant headway today!