Did you know that no one has taken my temperature, oxygen saturation level, or blood pressure in more than 24 hours? Amazing! It feels so nice to be OUT of the hospital. I was discharged a little before 7:00 last night, but Paul and I didn't arrive at his parents' house until about 8:30 because we had to stop for gas and also at a pharmacy to pick up my Procardia, as I needed to take the next one at 10:00pm. The first pharmacy that the doctor tried to call it into didn't have any. The second (Rite Aid) said they did, but when Paul's dad went to pick it up, he found out they didn't have it, but they said another Rite Aid in another town had it. So we made a detour on our way home to go to the other Rite Aid. I got to see the kids for a few minutes before they went to bed. Paul stayed until about 10pm. I decided to try sleeping with Nadia again. I thought it would go better than it had on July 4 because she was asleep before I went up, but she just wanted to snuggle right beside/on me, and she was at an angle across the bed so I had hardly any room. The whole night I felt like I might fall off the bed. I also had many nightmares that I was bleeding. I think that happened because the last time I slept there I did bleed in the early morning. Tonight I'm going to sleep downstairs on a couch by myself. I think I'll sleep better there.
Dr. Martinez had told me at 4pm yesterday that my next appointment would be on Thursday, but when Dr. Taboada did my discharge at 6:30pm she told me I needed to return for an 8am appointment on Wednesday. She felt it was too long to wait until Thursday, and she said all three doctors would be in the office on Wednesday, which meant if necessary I could even have a transfusion that same day since I was being seen at 8am. Dr. Martinez will be on vacation for two weeks starting on Monday. The nurse who wheeled me out of the hospital commented that she didn't comprehend the purpose of discharging someone for just one day, but I told her I would gladly take even just one day of freedom from the hospital, even though if I go back I probably won't get a room on the 9th floor because they are currently SWAMPED with antepartum patients. Someone from the 8th floor was getting my room, and there are 9 antepartum patients on the 11th floor waiting for a room to open up on the 9th floor. About 5,000 babies are born each year at this hospital (compared to about 1,600 a year at the hospital where I had Nadia and Ian). The hostess said she'd save my menus in case I was back later this week (I had turned in menus that would take me through dinner on Sunday), although if I'm having a transfusion they'll be starving me at first.
The best parts of being out of the hospital have been #1 spending way more time with Nadia and Ian than I have in 25 days and #2 being able to shop online. I bought a Bjorn carrier and letters for Oliver's wall on eBay today. I am also bidding on a "Big Brother" t-shirt for Ian. Nadia already has a "Big Sister" shirt, and Oliver can wear the "Little Brother" onesie that Ian wore in 2010. I also pre-ordered two copies of the VeggieTales dvd that's coming out very shortly (one as a gift for Nadia and one as a gift for a niece). I have tried to take it easy, but I've still been sitting and standing far more than in the hospital (ex. I had to stand for my shower this morning whereas in the hospital I sit during my shower per the doctor's instructions). This has resulted in me having FAR more contractions than I did in the hospital (I averaged 2 an hour in the hospital). If I'm not readmitted to the hospital tomorrow, I'm going to ask about increasing the frequency of the Procardia as I used to take it every 6 hours. Every 8 hours was working when I was in a bed 23+ hours a day, but it doesn't seem like enough when I'm sitting in a lazyboy chair, kitchen chair, etc. for most of the day.
A friend I haven't seen in a couple of years will be picking me up and taking me to the hospital tomorrow. She has to be at Paul's parents' house at 6:45am. I am so grateful she's willing to do this for me, and I'm looking forward to catching up with her a bit. We worked together from 1996-2003, and she's currently teaching at the university where I taught from January 2003- May 2004. If I am readmitted for the transfusion, I plan on going back to our home whenever I'm discharged after that procedure. If I am not readmitted tomorrow, then I plan on returning to Paul's parents' house, at least until Friday night when Paul can take us all back home.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Two Ultrasounds
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| 28w2d - Sticking out his tongue! |
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| 28w0d - Waving "hi!" |
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| 29w2d - Cute little foot! |
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| 30w2d |
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Might be going HOME!
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| 20w4d |
Yesterday evening and the time today has gone faster than most days because I've had a few more things to do (go through the mail, write thank you notes, etc.) because of things Paul brought me yesterday and also my Aunt called me today. As illogical as it might sound, I think my better mood today is also due in part to the haircut. Plus people are more apt to play Words with Friends during the day on Saturdays and Sundays. I've actually done very little reading the past two days. Here's to hoping and praying I will be going home at some point this week!!!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
A Good Day
My sister and her family stayed for 3 hours. During that time I read some books to some of the kids, painted 20 fingernails and 10 toenails (Susie and Nadia), ate lunch, and got a haircut (thanks, Wendy!). My kids were here for a total of 5.5 hours, which was really wonderful for me. I think another reason I am in better spirits at the moment is simply because I was out of my room (in the lounge) a lot more than usual. Typically I am in my bed for 23.5 hours a day. Last Sunday when the kids left I actually felt much worse emotionally (even though I did enjoy seeing them) because I only had 75 minutes with them. Although it was still hard to see them go this evening, I wasn't in tears since I had gotten a lot more time with them today. Nadia didn't want to leave. Knowing how hard it was for her to leave helped me to control my emotions. I didn't want to make it any harder for her than it already was. Although I was hoping to avoid the NICU, I feel the most likely scenario is that he's going to be a 34 weeker like Ian. I'd love to be wrong, but one upside is I should be able to have a lot more contact with Nadia and Ian after he's born (even if he's in the NICU).
My sister gave me my belated birthday present and also (early) baby present for Oliver. This was his first gift! She gave him a cute little sleeper (size newborn) that has various types of balls on it. I'm sure that for many years he'll be wearing hand-me-downs from Ian, but I think it's nice for him to have a few things that are new to him (not that he'll care as a newborn but he might care somewhere down the road). My birthday present was a frame filled with four beautiful pictures of my kids (the photo above is of the 12 roses/4 lilies I got from my Aunt and the frame from Wendy). Wendy took the pictures on Wednesday. I was amazed that she had already edited them, printed them, and framed them! What a lovely surprise! I had made 3 different appointments to take the kids to Walmart for pictures in June (Nadia's 4 year pictures and Ian's 2 1/2 year pictures), but every appointment was cancelled due to doctor's appointments and hospitalizations. I am so grateful Wendy was able to get some pictures of them since I am unable to take them for pictures this summer. After Wendy sends me the digital files, I'll be sure to share them here!
Paul brought me my point and shoot camera. I was going to take a little video of Nadia, but I decided to wait until next week to do that. I am going to use the camera to take pictures of some of the ultrasound pics. This blog has gone without pictures for too long!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Severely Anemic Again
Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was missing my kids and husband in such an intense way that I felt I couldn't take it any more. If I had access to a car, I am quite certain I would have left the hospital yesterday. It's a good thing I have no way to escape.
A friend from church came and spent 3 hours with me today. That was GREATLY appreciated. I hadn't had any visitors since Sunday. She also took a bag of library books and a bag of dirty laundry. Paul will return the library books and bring me clean clothes tomorrow. I also received another flower arrangement today. This one was from my Aunt. It is absolutely STUNNING - pink roses (my favorite when it comes to roses) and white lilies. The other arrrangement that I received 11 days ago is still looking pretty also (carnations and daisies). I can't think of another time in my life when I had more than one flower arrangement at the same time.
I was praying that today's ultrasound would be more decisive (a smaller range between the numbers), and the Lord answered that prayer as the results ranged from 62-70. I had a feeling that the 67 on Wednesday was probably the most accurate one (even though the tech picked 42), and it seems I was probably right given where the numbers were today. The tech picked 66 today because it was the only number she got twice AND because it was the median. All of the results were in the severe category. 62 was at the very bottom edge of severe, and the other numbers were well up into that area of the graph. I was expecting them to say the transfusion will be tomorrow as the last two times once it got into severe, the transfusion was the next day. Dr. Martinez told me that he wanted to wait a little more because with the first transfusion Oliver was really anemic (needed 30% of his blood replaced), but with the second transfusion (when he was just barely into the severely anemic category), he didn't need nearly as much blood (so probably that one could have been held off for a few more days). He said he didn't want to wait too long, but that he also didn't want to do it too early. I asked if they were trying to wait until Dr. Tressler's return on Tuesday, and he said he didn't think we'd be able to wait that long. He told me he has done transfusions before. This contradicts what Dr. Tressler told me. Dr. Taboada told me last week that she had never done one before.
The bottom line is I'll have another ultrasound tomorrow, which will help determine if the next transfusion will be on Sunday or Monday. I am not in a hurry to enter the operating room again. I just want whatever is best for Oliver. Hopefully it will be very clear to Dr. Martinez tomorrow when the next transfusion should take place. The first two transfusions were 16 days apart. Tomorrow it will be 16 days since the last transfusion. The more we push it off then the greater the likelihood that this third transfusion will be the last, but also the greater the likelihood that they'll deliver him as early as 33 weeks. If the last transfusion didn't take place until 32 weeks, I think we'd have a much better chance of making it until 35 weeks for the c-section. Of course the upside of him being born at 33 weeks is that my bed rest would end sooner, but I know all too well how stressful the whole NICU experience is so I'm not eager to go that route although 33 weeks is FAR better than 22 weeks (when this whole saga began).
A friend from church came and spent 3 hours with me today. That was GREATLY appreciated. I hadn't had any visitors since Sunday. She also took a bag of library books and a bag of dirty laundry. Paul will return the library books and bring me clean clothes tomorrow. I also received another flower arrangement today. This one was from my Aunt. It is absolutely STUNNING - pink roses (my favorite when it comes to roses) and white lilies. The other arrrangement that I received 11 days ago is still looking pretty also (carnations and daisies). I can't think of another time in my life when I had more than one flower arrangement at the same time.
I was praying that today's ultrasound would be more decisive (a smaller range between the numbers), and the Lord answered that prayer as the results ranged from 62-70. I had a feeling that the 67 on Wednesday was probably the most accurate one (even though the tech picked 42), and it seems I was probably right given where the numbers were today. The tech picked 66 today because it was the only number she got twice AND because it was the median. All of the results were in the severe category. 62 was at the very bottom edge of severe, and the other numbers were well up into that area of the graph. I was expecting them to say the transfusion will be tomorrow as the last two times once it got into severe, the transfusion was the next day. Dr. Martinez told me that he wanted to wait a little more because with the first transfusion Oliver was really anemic (needed 30% of his blood replaced), but with the second transfusion (when he was just barely into the severely anemic category), he didn't need nearly as much blood (so probably that one could have been held off for a few more days). He said he didn't want to wait too long, but that he also didn't want to do it too early. I asked if they were trying to wait until Dr. Tressler's return on Tuesday, and he said he didn't think we'd be able to wait that long. He told me he has done transfusions before. This contradicts what Dr. Tressler told me. Dr. Taboada told me last week that she had never done one before.
The bottom line is I'll have another ultrasound tomorrow, which will help determine if the next transfusion will be on Sunday or Monday. I am not in a hurry to enter the operating room again. I just want whatever is best for Oliver. Hopefully it will be very clear to Dr. Martinez tomorrow when the next transfusion should take place. The first two transfusions were 16 days apart. Tomorrow it will be 16 days since the last transfusion. The more we push it off then the greater the likelihood that this third transfusion will be the last, but also the greater the likelihood that they'll deliver him as early as 33 weeks. If the last transfusion didn't take place until 32 weeks, I think we'd have a much better chance of making it until 35 weeks for the c-section. Of course the upside of him being born at 33 weeks is that my bed rest would end sooner, but I know all too well how stressful the whole NICU experience is so I'm not eager to go that route although 33 weeks is FAR better than 22 weeks (when this whole saga began).
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
30 Weeks!
I'm so glad Oliver is still kicking (and hiccuping) within me. The eight weeks of bed rest haven't been easy (particularly the 32 days I've spent in the hospital thus far), but if I hadn't been on bed rest, I doubt I'd still be pregnant. I'm past the half-way mark with the bed rest since I have at most 6 weeks to go. I'm not at the half-way point as far as days in the hospital, but I'll hit that mark on Monday. I really, really can't wait until we are home. I couldn't believe it when someone today referred to my stay as a "vacation." I didn't say a word. I've never been in jail, but it feels far more like solitary confinement than a vacation. At home I get to spend LOTS of time with Ian and Nadia every day, hang out with Paul for a couple of hours each evening, sleep in my own bed, eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it, drive a car, go to church, go shopping, go to whatever website I want, etc. I won't miss telling nurses my birthdate several times every day, having my vitals taken a few times a day, taking pills several times a day, wearing an ID bracelet that gets scanned multiple times a day, etc. I also can't wait to regain a sense of privacy! Jo, you asked why they won't let me go past 36 weeks. The reason is that if I went into labor, I would start hemmorhaging because of the complete placenta previa; they would like to deliver him before I go into labor. At 36 weeks they consider the risk of prematurity to be less than the risk of me bleeding to death (and actually a severe hemmorhaging episode can also lead to "fetal demise"). In light of the fetal anemia, I probably won't make it to 36 weeks anyhow because they don't do fetal transfusions past 32 weeks.
I emailed someone in this MFM clinic this morning with three insurance/billing questions. One was to ask for their help with appealing some bloodwork that the insurance initially refused to pay for. The insurance told me they might pay these if a doctor can convince them the tests were medically necessary. The charges for the bloodwork that they declined thus far total $3,799.98. I'm really hoping the insurance ends up paying for most (or all) of these tests. Thankfully we don't have to worry about any bills after July 1. I keep checking the insurance website to see if they're paying the bills from May and June. At least they've paid the really big bills thus far (those greater than $6K).
Dr. Martinez told me yesterday my next ultrasound would be on Thursday, but then at 12:30 today an aide came to my room with a wheelchair to take me for an ultrasound. Typically there is a small range in the MCA numbers, but today there was a HUGE range. The highest number was 67 (and the previous transfusions were done when the number was around 55), and the lowest number was in the high 30's. She ended up recording one of the middle numbers (42). The only times his number has dropped from the 50's back down to the 30's or low 40's was after a transfusion. All of the numbers were between 50-56 last Friday and again this Monday. The doctor said that the numbers were probably all over the map today because baby was probably moving while they were being measured. He thinks that Oliver is okay. Personally I think today's ultrasound was totally uninformative. The next ultrasound has been scheduled for Friday. Hopefully we'll get a more consistent result that time. It looks like we'll be able to wait for Dr. Tressler's return to do the next transfusion. Whew!
Nadia went with my sister's family to Six Flags (in MD) today. I'm sure she had a blast! They were going to enjoy the water slides and such. Part of the amusement park has dry rides (roller coasters and such), and part of it is like a water park. My sister's family bought a season pass for their family this summer, and they get a free passes every Wednesday to share with others. I wish I was there with Nadia today, but I'm glad she could have a really special day with her cousins, aunt, and uncle. Joel (who turned 1 in May) and Ian stayed home with my mom. Today I've been reading, watching tv, playing Words with Friends, and grading. The online class I've been teaching will end on August 9. I have a feeling I'll be watching the Summer Olympics a lot more than I ever have before.
Ian has now learned how to feed himself a piece of toast or a sandwich, blow out birthday candles, and eat a banana without using any silverware. Way to go, Ian!!!
I emailed someone in this MFM clinic this morning with three insurance/billing questions. One was to ask for their help with appealing some bloodwork that the insurance initially refused to pay for. The insurance told me they might pay these if a doctor can convince them the tests were medically necessary. The charges for the bloodwork that they declined thus far total $3,799.98. I'm really hoping the insurance ends up paying for most (or all) of these tests. Thankfully we don't have to worry about any bills after July 1. I keep checking the insurance website to see if they're paying the bills from May and June. At least they've paid the really big bills thus far (those greater than $6K).
Dr. Martinez told me yesterday my next ultrasound would be on Thursday, but then at 12:30 today an aide came to my room with a wheelchair to take me for an ultrasound. Typically there is a small range in the MCA numbers, but today there was a HUGE range. The highest number was 67 (and the previous transfusions were done when the number was around 55), and the lowest number was in the high 30's. She ended up recording one of the middle numbers (42). The only times his number has dropped from the 50's back down to the 30's or low 40's was after a transfusion. All of the numbers were between 50-56 last Friday and again this Monday. The doctor said that the numbers were probably all over the map today because baby was probably moving while they were being measured. He thinks that Oliver is okay. Personally I think today's ultrasound was totally uninformative. The next ultrasound has been scheduled for Friday. Hopefully we'll get a more consistent result that time. It looks like we'll be able to wait for Dr. Tressler's return to do the next transfusion. Whew!
Nadia went with my sister's family to Six Flags (in MD) today. I'm sure she had a blast! They were going to enjoy the water slides and such. Part of the amusement park has dry rides (roller coasters and such), and part of it is like a water park. My sister's family bought a season pass for their family this summer, and they get a free passes every Wednesday to share with others. I wish I was there with Nadia today, but I'm glad she could have a really special day with her cousins, aunt, and uncle. Joel (who turned 1 in May) and Ian stayed home with my mom. Today I've been reading, watching tv, playing Words with Friends, and grading. The online class I've been teaching will end on August 9. I have a feeling I'll be watching the Summer Olympics a lot more than I ever have before.
Ian has now learned how to feed himself a piece of toast or a sandwich, blow out birthday candles, and eat a banana without using any silverware. Way to go, Ian!!!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
When will Oliver be born?
The OB had originally scheduled the c-section for September 24 (38w5d), but the MFM doctors have told me the longest they'll let me go is 36 weeks (which I'll hit on September 5 or 7 depending on if you use the egg retrieval date or LMP). I've also been told they won't do any fetal transfusions past 32 weeks. If my third transfusion was at 31 weeks, they might deliver him at 33 or 34 weeks if he was back in the severe anemia category. I had been hoping to make it until at least August 29, which is when I'd be at 35 weeks if you go by the egg retrieval date. Financially, it's best for us if he waits until at least August 27, as then I could use the full 8 weeks of paid sick leave. I know that if he makes it until August 29 that he won't automatically go to the NICU, but I also know from my experience with Nadia (who was born at 36w) that some babies born after 35 weeks still end up in the NICU. I've been telling myself that the best case scenario is that we'll come home the end of August, and the more likely scenario is that we'll come home the first week of September. If he was born at 34 weeks, he'd likely be in the NICU for 2 weeks, which means we still wouldn't be coming home until he hit what would have been 36 weeks. Obviously, it's better for him if he isn't born until 36 weeks. Between the bleeding (which is supposed to get worse as time goes on) and fetal anemia, I am dubious I'll make it to 36 weeks. I'm thinking the farthest he'll probably make it is 34 or 35 weeks since they don't do transfusions after 32 weeks, but I'd love to be wrong! I'm still hoping to avoid the NICU in part because I'm really wanting to have a smoother start with nursing this third time around. I added a poll to the blog; you can cast your vote as to when you think he'll be born. Sometime within the next 6 weeks or so we'll find out who was right!
The next ultrasound has been scheduled for Thursday. I'm guessing the next transfusion will be on Friday, but I'd love to be wrong because if Oliver can wait until next week, then Dr. Tressler can do the transfusion. Also, I'm supposed to have visitors this Saturday, and it's easier to have visitors when I'm on the 9th floor (and I'd be on the 8th floor on Saturday if I have the transfusion on Friday). We shall see. I've now gone 12 days since the last hemmorhaging incident and 7 days since the bleeding totally stopped. I've mostly been reading, listening to music on the radio, and playing "Words with Friends" on Facebook. I have been periodically checking to see if the channels had been restored. They weren't as of this morning, but as of 5pm this evening they were back! I am looking forward to being able to watch Dick van Dyke and such tomorrow. Of course what I really am looking forward to is being home with my kids (where I don't watch any tv aside from Steeler games), but tv does help to pass the time while I'm in solitary confinement.
Ian is now using a fork to eat peas (one at a time) and pieces of hot dog or a banana. He also ate his first sandwich! He also has learned to drink from a straw and blow bubbles. My sister is going to teach him how to wash his own hands with soap and water next, which would be amazing as normally he cries when I wash his hands due to his sensory issues. I can't believe how much progress he's made in the last couple of weeks!
The next ultrasound has been scheduled for Thursday. I'm guessing the next transfusion will be on Friday, but I'd love to be wrong because if Oliver can wait until next week, then Dr. Tressler can do the transfusion. Also, I'm supposed to have visitors this Saturday, and it's easier to have visitors when I'm on the 9th floor (and I'd be on the 8th floor on Saturday if I have the transfusion on Friday). We shall see. I've now gone 12 days since the last hemmorhaging incident and 7 days since the bleeding totally stopped. I've mostly been reading, listening to music on the radio, and playing "Words with Friends" on Facebook. I have been periodically checking to see if the channels had been restored. They weren't as of this morning, but as of 5pm this evening they were back! I am looking forward to being able to watch Dick van Dyke and such tomorrow. Of course what I really am looking forward to is being home with my kids (where I don't watch any tv aside from Steeler games), but tv does help to pass the time while I'm in solitary confinement.
Ian is now using a fork to eat peas (one at a time) and pieces of hot dog or a banana. He also ate his first sandwich! He also has learned to drink from a straw and blow bubbles. My sister is going to teach him how to wash his own hands with soap and water next, which would be amazing as normally he cries when I wash his hands due to his sensory issues. I can't believe how much progress he's made in the last couple of weeks!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Holding Steady
Friday night Paul's parents were down in the Harrisburg area for Aunt Debbie's birthday. They swung by the hospital on their way home, and Paul's dad ran up to my room to deliver a bag Paul had put together for me (library books, radio, more compression socks, etc.) and to pick up my dirty laundry. I wish I had enough maternity clothes to last two weeks, but I don't. Doing laundry has never been so complicated for me before. I think Paul will need to take a trip to a laundromat down here on Saturday. I didn't do laundry at the Ronald McDonald House, but I could have easily done it there. This is the first time in my life I have been staying for weeks (probably months) somewhere without access to a washing machine or laundromat. If they asked for feedback, I would suggest that they find a way to provide a laundry service for long term patients, even if there was a charge involved, I would definitely take advantage of it. Most of the women in this unit live less than 30 minutes from here so it's not as difficult for them to get their laundry done by a friend or family member. Some of them have the luxury of their husbands sleeping in their room with them every single night. The other service I would greatly prefer over "craft time" (on Tuesdays) and "group therapy" (on Thursdays) would be to bring in a hair stylist once a month or something like that. I'd gladly pay for that service. I've never attended a group therapy meeting, and I've only been to craft time once thus far, and I don't plan on returning.
Last weekend Paul had brought me some fingernail polish and remover. I painted Nadia's fingernails and toenails last weekend. It was something I could do while in bed (I was on the 8th floor then). It's been a very long time since I've painted my fingernails, but I usually have my toenails painted whenever it's warm enough to wear sandals. Saturday morning I used the remover to take the polish off my toenails. Normally I would have repainted them, but it seemed pointless since I'm wearing compression stockings all the time. My toes are almost always hidden. I did paint my fingernails. At home it seems pointless as it doesn't seem to last very long, but I have a feeling the polish will last much longer due to me being in bed 23+ hours a day. Nadia wanted me to paint her nails again yesterday, but there didn't end up being time for that. I did manage to clip their 20 fingernails before they left.
Saturday afternoon a colleague from work came by and spent 90 minutes with me. That was a special treat. Yesterday Paul's parents arrived with the kids and my clean laundry at 2:00. I hadn't seen them in 8 days. I was afraid I'd burst into tears both at the sight of them and also when they left. I didn't cry upon their arrival, but I definitely cried upon their departure at 3:15 with my parents (who had arrived at 2:45). It was wonderful to hug and kiss them. If I had a key and access to a car, I think I'd be walking out of this hospital. It feels like more than I can bear to be separated from them so much. I typically am with them 13 hours a day (7am to 8pm). Over a span of 13 days I will have spent 75 minutes with my kids and 0 minutes with my husband. I felt like my heart was breaking in a million pieces as they left yesterday. One blessing of having spent so much time crying yesterday was that I was totally exhausted and fell asleep very easily last night. I can't seem to sleep past 5am any more, but my definition of a good night's sleep has changed from 8-9 hours (at home) to 5-7 hours (in the hospital). I know they are going to have a good week this week playing with eight cousins, two aunts, three uncles, and two grandparents. I wish with all my heart I was there with my kids, parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews. It will probably be two years until we can all be together again. It's been 2.5 years since the last time we were all together. I haven't seen my sister or her family in more than 2 years. They arrived in the US the end of June, and if I hadn't been on bedrest, I would have driven down to Maryland to see them a few weeks ago. So close and yet so far.
I read online on Saturday that DirecTV signed a deal with Viacom on Friday. The blackout has supposedly ended, but as of this morning the only channel that has been restored here at the hospital is Nickelodeon, which isn't a channel I had been watching. TVLand and the Hallmark channel are two that I am hoping will be restored. They've been blacked out for 13 days thus far. Having a radio has been a huge help. I mostly had the tv on so that I wouldn't sitting in a silent room 24 hours a day. Yesterday I didn't have the tv on but just enjoyed listening to music instead. I also listened to a live broadcast of a worship service at 11am, and it happened to be from the church where I was a member from 2004-2008.
Oliver is quite the little acrobat. The nurses often refer to him as "naughty" because they have to keep moving the fetal monitor to be able to track his heartrate. I not only feel him moving, but most of the time I can also watch different parts of my belly moving. You wouldn't know he was anemic! I feel some sadness when this happens because for months Nadia has been looking forward to feeling him move, and it was thrilling to me to have her so excited about experiencing this. I learned when I was pregnant with Nadia that Paul could care less about feeling a baby kick within me. So it meant even more to me that Nadia really wanted to feel the baby move. I am certain if I had been home the past few weeks that she would have felt him move by now, but now I am very dubious that she'll ever experience it given how little time she and I are spending together this summer.
The good news would be that Oliver's anemia didn't get worse over the past 3 days. He's still in the "mild" category. I think it's still rather dubious that we can wait until next week for the next transfusion, but who knows, maybe Oliver will hold out until Dr. Tressler returns from vacation. It would be awesome if that happened.
Ian has made progress with his eating skills the past couple of weeks. He is now drinking his EleCare out of a regular cup! He's eating Oreo cookies without them being broken into pieces, feeding himself cream of wheat with a spoon, and he's using a fork to feed himself pieces of a banana! Wow! Karen (his OT) will be so amazed to see the progress. I can't wait to see it myself as I've never seen him use a fork or spoon before! One of my sisters used to be an OT before she got married, and she is working on his lips this week - kissing, using a straw, blowing bubbles, etc. as she says that will also help him with his feeding skills. It would be so wonderful if Ian was eating more independently before Oliver and I come home. She also found some bread that doesn't have milk, eggs, etc. in it. Kathy (at the feeding clinic) had told me that Ian wouldn't be able to eat any bread due to his allergies, but thankfully she was wrong! They are going to try to get Ian to eat some honey wheat or potato bread this week. I know we could get some sesame butter as a replacement for peanut butter. I tasted it at the feeding clinic, and it is very similar (in taste) to peanut butter.
Ian is definitely allergic to cats. They're trying to keep Ian outside as much as possible for his sake. Paul is also allergic to cats. When Ian was tested at the allergist, they said he wasn't allergic to cats, but that test obviously isn't 100% accurate.
Last weekend Paul had brought me some fingernail polish and remover. I painted Nadia's fingernails and toenails last weekend. It was something I could do while in bed (I was on the 8th floor then). It's been a very long time since I've painted my fingernails, but I usually have my toenails painted whenever it's warm enough to wear sandals. Saturday morning I used the remover to take the polish off my toenails. Normally I would have repainted them, but it seemed pointless since I'm wearing compression stockings all the time. My toes are almost always hidden. I did paint my fingernails. At home it seems pointless as it doesn't seem to last very long, but I have a feeling the polish will last much longer due to me being in bed 23+ hours a day. Nadia wanted me to paint her nails again yesterday, but there didn't end up being time for that. I did manage to clip their 20 fingernails before they left.
Saturday afternoon a colleague from work came by and spent 90 minutes with me. That was a special treat. Yesterday Paul's parents arrived with the kids and my clean laundry at 2:00. I hadn't seen them in 8 days. I was afraid I'd burst into tears both at the sight of them and also when they left. I didn't cry upon their arrival, but I definitely cried upon their departure at 3:15 with my parents (who had arrived at 2:45). It was wonderful to hug and kiss them. If I had a key and access to a car, I think I'd be walking out of this hospital. It feels like more than I can bear to be separated from them so much. I typically am with them 13 hours a day (7am to 8pm). Over a span of 13 days I will have spent 75 minutes with my kids and 0 minutes with my husband. I felt like my heart was breaking in a million pieces as they left yesterday. One blessing of having spent so much time crying yesterday was that I was totally exhausted and fell asleep very easily last night. I can't seem to sleep past 5am any more, but my definition of a good night's sleep has changed from 8-9 hours (at home) to 5-7 hours (in the hospital). I know they are going to have a good week this week playing with eight cousins, two aunts, three uncles, and two grandparents. I wish with all my heart I was there with my kids, parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews. It will probably be two years until we can all be together again. It's been 2.5 years since the last time we were all together. I haven't seen my sister or her family in more than 2 years. They arrived in the US the end of June, and if I hadn't been on bedrest, I would have driven down to Maryland to see them a few weeks ago. So close and yet so far.
I read online on Saturday that DirecTV signed a deal with Viacom on Friday. The blackout has supposedly ended, but as of this morning the only channel that has been restored here at the hospital is Nickelodeon, which isn't a channel I had been watching. TVLand and the Hallmark channel are two that I am hoping will be restored. They've been blacked out for 13 days thus far. Having a radio has been a huge help. I mostly had the tv on so that I wouldn't sitting in a silent room 24 hours a day. Yesterday I didn't have the tv on but just enjoyed listening to music instead. I also listened to a live broadcast of a worship service at 11am, and it happened to be from the church where I was a member from 2004-2008.
Oliver is quite the little acrobat. The nurses often refer to him as "naughty" because they have to keep moving the fetal monitor to be able to track his heartrate. I not only feel him moving, but most of the time I can also watch different parts of my belly moving. You wouldn't know he was anemic! I feel some sadness when this happens because for months Nadia has been looking forward to feeling him move, and it was thrilling to me to have her so excited about experiencing this. I learned when I was pregnant with Nadia that Paul could care less about feeling a baby kick within me. So it meant even more to me that Nadia really wanted to feel the baby move. I am certain if I had been home the past few weeks that she would have felt him move by now, but now I am very dubious that she'll ever experience it given how little time she and I are spending together this summer.
The good news would be that Oliver's anemia didn't get worse over the past 3 days. He's still in the "mild" category. I think it's still rather dubious that we can wait until next week for the next transfusion, but who knows, maybe Oliver will hold out until Dr. Tressler returns from vacation. It would be awesome if that happened.
Ian has made progress with his eating skills the past couple of weeks. He is now drinking his EleCare out of a regular cup! He's eating Oreo cookies without them being broken into pieces, feeding himself cream of wheat with a spoon, and he's using a fork to feed himself pieces of a banana! Wow! Karen (his OT) will be so amazed to see the progress. I can't wait to see it myself as I've never seen him use a fork or spoon before! One of my sisters used to be an OT before she got married, and she is working on his lips this week - kissing, using a straw, blowing bubbles, etc. as she says that will also help him with his feeding skills. It would be so wonderful if Ian was eating more independently before Oliver and I come home. She also found some bread that doesn't have milk, eggs, etc. in it. Kathy (at the feeding clinic) had told me that Ian wouldn't be able to eat any bread due to his allergies, but thankfully she was wrong! They are going to try to get Ian to eat some honey wheat or potato bread this week. I know we could get some sesame butter as a replacement for peanut butter. I tasted it at the feeding clinic, and it is very similar (in taste) to peanut butter.
Ian is definitely allergic to cats. They're trying to keep Ian outside as much as possible for his sake. Paul is also allergic to cats. When Ian was tested at the allergist, they said he wasn't allergic to cats, but that test obviously isn't 100% accurate.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Anemic Again
I had an ultrasound on Tuesday, and they said the next one would be on Friday. It seems they forgot, and I wasn't on the schedule for an ultrasound. I asked about it, and they took me down for one this afternoon. On Tuesday he was not anemic. In fact, the velocity of the MCA was almost identical to what it was on Friday (the day after the last transfusion). Over the past three days he became anemic again. The velocity jumped from the high 30's to the mid 50's. The other two times when it went over 50 I had a transfusion. However, as you progress in the pregnancy the numbers are allowed to get higher. He wasn't in the severe category yet. The doctor said she doesn't want to do a transfusion this weekend so she's just not going to have him checked (she admitted he might get into the severe category this weekend). She said we'll check him again on Monday. When I had the transfusion last week, Dr. Tressler said he thought we could go 3 weeks in between transfusions this time. Unfortunately, that seems very dubious. It seems it will be more like 12 days between transfusions this time (if I have my next one on Tuesday). I think the other reason he said 3 weeks is because he has been on vacation this week and will be on vacation next week as well. This means if I have the transfusion done next week, it will be done by a doctor who has never done the procedure before. Gulp. I think this also means the 3rd transfusion might not be the last one. Dr. Tressler had said if I made it 3 weeks then that would be the last one (at 31w) because they don't do transfusions past 32 weeks, but if I have a transfusion at 29w6d, then I could definitely be up for another one at 31 or 32 weeks. How many times will my back be punctured this summer? The answer might end up being seven times (I've had 4 lumbar punctures thus far).
Thursday, July 19, 2012
No more Phenergan!
Next month, I am definitely going to request my breakfast tray even on brunch day. We were summoned to the lounge at 11am, but I'm not exactly sure what time my plate was served. It was way too late for breakfast, especially as I had been up since 4am. I had eaten a banana at 5am and some cereal at 9am, but it wasn't enough. I had french toast, which I often have on my breakfast tray; so it didn't really seem that different than a normal breakfast. The potatoes were better than what they usually serve on the trays. I was one of nine antepartum patients there for the brunch. I hadn't eaten in the lounge since June 1 because the other Fridays I was either at home or on the 8th floor. Part-way through the meal I began to feel light headed, and finally I decided I just wanted to go back to my room. I had been trying to stay until the cinnamon rolls were served, as that isn't something we normally get for breakfast. They noticed that I wasn't feeling well and had me lie down for a minute on a couch in the lounge and then took me back to my room by wheelchair. By that time I also felt like I was going to throw up. They took my blood pressure, and it was up to 150. During the time I've been on Procardia (since July 5), my blood pressure rarely gets over 100. My top number is often in the 70's, 80's, or 90's; so 150 was a big jump. They turned out the lights in my room, gave me a cool washcloth, and said they were ordering me some anti-nausea meds for my iv. The next time they checked my blood pressure, it had come down a lot. They gave me a different anti-nausea medication than they gave me last Friday morning because they knew I hadn't slept well and Phenergan is supposed to make you drowsy.
Shortly after they gave me the medication, my mom and brother arrived in my hospital room. If I could go back in time, I would have either passed on any medication OR asked for the one they gave me last week. I didn't like the effect the Phenergan had on me. Maybe if I had been able to sleep it off, I would have felt differently, but I didn't want to take a nap when my mom and brother were here. Awhile later my mom gave me some Saltine crackers, and I felt much better after eating those. I truly think the Phenergan made me feel much worse rather than better. I felt better as the day went on, but I never felt back to normal. I went to bed before 8pm and thankfully slept until 5:30am (minus the 12am vitals and medication interruption). I woke up feeling back to normal. It was great to see my mom and brother. I only wish I hadn't been under the effect of Phenergan while they were here. I asked the nurse to make a notation in my record that I never want that medication again. The other one cured my nausea without any side effects. It was so nice to have some company after three days alone in my room. They brought me a stawberry milkshake from McD's. I enjoyed it later in the day when my stomach was feeling better. It was great to be able to see my brother one more time before he leaves to teach at Amazon Valley Academy in Belem.
I wish I had thought to give my mom my dirty laundry. She could have washed them and brought them back to me on Sunday when they come to pick up Nadia and Ian. Last weekend Paul took them on Friday and brought them back on Saturday after his aunt washed them for me. Originally, he was going to come down this Saturday and go back on Sunday so I thought my laundry could be done on Saturday night, but after realizing how stressed out he was, I suggested that he ask his parents if Nadia and Ian could stay with them Thursday morning through Sunday morning, and then they could bring the kids down to the hospital to spend a little time with me before they went to Maryland for six days with my family. This means he'll go nine days without seeing the kids and fourteen days without seeing me, but hopefully he can make a lot of progress on his article during those nine days. I hope so as I've never gone anywhere near fourteen days without seeing my hubby before!
This morning they needed to take my iv tube out. They were going to put a new one in, and I asked if I could go without any. Amazingly, they said yes! We shall see how many days I go without an iv in my arm. The next time I start bleeding or Oliver needs another transfusion, they'll be putting another one in. I'm going to ask today about discontinuing the Procardia. I don't enjoy the side effects, and preterm labor hasn't been my problem. I'll have my eleventh P17 shot today.
Yesterday I learned that we are allowed to request things from the 11th floor cafe. I was given a menu and told I can request something off that menu if I don't like any of the choices on the food service menus. I wish they had told me about this several weeks ago, but I'm glad to know it now. I had originally ordered a ham and cheese wrap for dinner tonight, but this morning I changed that to a taco chip salad and refried beans, which sounds yummy. It will be nice to add a little variety to the weekly routine because usually there's only one thing I like for each meal so I end up picking the same things each week. Now I know to ask for both menus each week. Maybe I should start asking for the menus today to make sure I get them on time.
Shortly after they gave me the medication, my mom and brother arrived in my hospital room. If I could go back in time, I would have either passed on any medication OR asked for the one they gave me last week. I didn't like the effect the Phenergan had on me. Maybe if I had been able to sleep it off, I would have felt differently, but I didn't want to take a nap when my mom and brother were here. Awhile later my mom gave me some Saltine crackers, and I felt much better after eating those. I truly think the Phenergan made me feel much worse rather than better. I felt better as the day went on, but I never felt back to normal. I went to bed before 8pm and thankfully slept until 5:30am (minus the 12am vitals and medication interruption). I woke up feeling back to normal. It was great to see my mom and brother. I only wish I hadn't been under the effect of Phenergan while they were here. I asked the nurse to make a notation in my record that I never want that medication again. The other one cured my nausea without any side effects. It was so nice to have some company after three days alone in my room. They brought me a stawberry milkshake from McD's. I enjoyed it later in the day when my stomach was feeling better. It was great to be able to see my brother one more time before he leaves to teach at Amazon Valley Academy in Belem.
I wish I had thought to give my mom my dirty laundry. She could have washed them and brought them back to me on Sunday when they come to pick up Nadia and Ian. Last weekend Paul took them on Friday and brought them back on Saturday after his aunt washed them for me. Originally, he was going to come down this Saturday and go back on Sunday so I thought my laundry could be done on Saturday night, but after realizing how stressed out he was, I suggested that he ask his parents if Nadia and Ian could stay with them Thursday morning through Sunday morning, and then they could bring the kids down to the hospital to spend a little time with me before they went to Maryland for six days with my family. This means he'll go nine days without seeing the kids and fourteen days without seeing me, but hopefully he can make a lot of progress on his article during those nine days. I hope so as I've never gone anywhere near fourteen days without seeing my hubby before!
This morning they needed to take my iv tube out. They were going to put a new one in, and I asked if I could go without any. Amazingly, they said yes! We shall see how many days I go without an iv in my arm. The next time I start bleeding or Oliver needs another transfusion, they'll be putting another one in. I'm going to ask today about discontinuing the Procardia. I don't enjoy the side effects, and preterm labor hasn't been my problem. I'll have my eleventh P17 shot today.
Yesterday I learned that we are allowed to request things from the 11th floor cafe. I was given a menu and told I can request something off that menu if I don't like any of the choices on the food service menus. I wish they had told me about this several weeks ago, but I'm glad to know it now. I had originally ordered a ham and cheese wrap for dinner tonight, but this morning I changed that to a taco chip salad and refried beans, which sounds yummy. It will be nice to add a little variety to the weekly routine because usually there's only one thing I like for each meal so I end up picking the same things each week. Now I know to ask for both menus each week. Maybe I should start asking for the menus today to make sure I get them on time.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Stressed out hubby
I'm glad I hadn't made tons of plans for this summer because I struggle a little emotionally with each thing that gets crossed off the calendar such as Nadia not being able to take her swimming lessons. She did make it to 6 nights of VBS this summer. Last summer she did 3 weeks of VBS (15 nights), and I had planned for her to do 2 weeks this summer. Last Saturday Paul and the kids were supposed to go to the "beach" (a state park that has a manmade lake) with several other families. It was an event planned by the church where Nadia is participating in the children's musical this summer. I had taken the kids to that state park the last two summers. Today I had planned on shopping at a HUGE used book sale sponsored by the library we've been going to lately. This Saturday we were all planning to go to a 50th wedding anniversary party for a couple I've been friends with since 1996. She was the principal of the school before me. Actually, I met her in 1993 as we took a graduate class together in Indiana. All four of us were planning to go to Maryland next week for the big family reunion. I haven't shed any tears over the fact I missed my 6 month dentist appointment or that we've cancelled Ian's OT appointments until I'm home from the hospital. The two that will be/were the hardest to miss include Nadia's first ballet recital (in June) and her first musical performances (August 11/12). I am very grateful I was able to attend her first gymnastics showcase, the Jonah production in Lancaster, and that I was home for her 4th birthday. I thought this summer we'd be heading to the playground most mornings and to the swimming pool most afternoons. I never dreamed I'd spend months on bedrest. As of today I'm 29 weeks along in the pregnancy and beginning my 8th week of bedrest.
The last 7 weeks have been challenging for me emotionally, mainly due to being separated from my husband and kids, and there have also been times when it's been very unpleasant physically. The last 7 weeks haven't been easy for Paul either. Three overlap of three different events have made for a stressed out hubby. First, I am in the hospital so he has had to take on many additional responsibilities (laundry, mowing, grocery shopping, cleaning, spending more time with the kids than usual, etc.), and second, our neighbors moved to Oklahoma a few weeks ago. If they were still around, I am sure they would be babysitting the kids quite a bit. Third, he has reached a crunch time for completing his doctorate. That alone would be enough to have him totally stressed out. In general Paul is a pretty laid back person. It's hard to recall times when I felt that he was stressed out the first several years I knew him. The times I can recall him being the most stressed out were when he was preparing for/ taking the entrance exams for both his master's and doctorate as well as any time he has had a deadline approaching (such as a paper to submit or a conference presentation). Because he is both a procrastinator and a perfectionist, he goes into this mode where he gets very little sleep and works practically around the clock for days or weeks right up until the deadline.
Even if I were at home, he would be stressed out right now as he has started writing his final article (the last one he has to write towards his dissertation), and then after he finishes that he needs to work on his dissertation, which he hopes to defend in 2-3 months. However since I am not at home, he is getting less time than usual to do his schoolwork. Yesterday he had to pick the kids up from the babysitter at 4:15pm. Today he needs to pick them up at 5:15pm. When I am at home, he doesn't usually get home until sometime between 6:00-6:30pm. When I am home he also does some work on the weekends, but now (since he doesn't multitask) he can only get work done on the weekends when the kids are in bed at night. Hopefully he can make a lot of progress next week while the kids are in Maryland. Aside from chatting on the phone with me a little, he won't have any family distractions next week. If his advisor's funding wasn't about to run out, there could be more flexibility as to when he finished his degree, but since her grant wasn't renewed, he absolutely has to graduate in December. We will all survive, but the stress level is going to be high the next few months for our family. Also, Paul can see the ways my absence is effecting the kids, and this adds to his stress level.
Paul keeps wanting me to come home from the hospital because even if I'm on bedrest he can get more work done when I'm at home compared to when I'm in the hospital. Of course part of me wants to be at home also!!! Sometimes I think what is the point of me being here. I am not receiving any medical treatment aside from medications that I could just as easily take at home. I'm here just in case something horrible would happen (out of control bleeding). It feels strange to be in the hospital because something bad *might* happen. Usually you're in the hospital because something has happened or is happening. Thus far the bleeding has always stopped on its own. The only thing they can do to stop it is deliver Oliver. Part of me thinks it's not so risky for me to go home as I could get to Geisinger within 30 minutes if I started hemmorhaging again. Then I think of how many hours I would be the only adult in the house, and I'm not allowed to drive. What would I do if I started hemmorhaging at a time when Paul wasn't home? In the end our opinion doesn't probably matter one iota because I think even if we asked again, the answer would still be the same from the doctors. They use a 3 strike policy with bleeding episodes from previa (after the 3rd you're in the hospital until you deliver), and even if you don't count the spotting incidents, I've had 4 bleeding episodes already.
Sometimes the days all seem to blur together, but there are four things that will make today unique. The best is that my mom and brother are coming for a visit. He's leaving for Brazil in two weeks so this will be the last time I'll see him for 1-2 years. The more mundane differences include that one Wednesday a month we are served a brunch and every Wednesday we have our weekly weigh-in and urine test. The weigh-in went well. I didn't gain any weight over the past seven days. I'm so hungry right now that I'm thinking next month I'll ask for my breakfast tray even on brunch day. It doesn't help that I've been up since 4am. Last night wasn't a good night for me. Hopefully I'll get a lot more sleep tonight.
The last 7 weeks have been challenging for me emotionally, mainly due to being separated from my husband and kids, and there have also been times when it's been very unpleasant physically. The last 7 weeks haven't been easy for Paul either. Three overlap of three different events have made for a stressed out hubby. First, I am in the hospital so he has had to take on many additional responsibilities (laundry, mowing, grocery shopping, cleaning, spending more time with the kids than usual, etc.), and second, our neighbors moved to Oklahoma a few weeks ago. If they were still around, I am sure they would be babysitting the kids quite a bit. Third, he has reached a crunch time for completing his doctorate. That alone would be enough to have him totally stressed out. In general Paul is a pretty laid back person. It's hard to recall times when I felt that he was stressed out the first several years I knew him. The times I can recall him being the most stressed out were when he was preparing for/ taking the entrance exams for both his master's and doctorate as well as any time he has had a deadline approaching (such as a paper to submit or a conference presentation). Because he is both a procrastinator and a perfectionist, he goes into this mode where he gets very little sleep and works practically around the clock for days or weeks right up until the deadline.
Even if I were at home, he would be stressed out right now as he has started writing his final article (the last one he has to write towards his dissertation), and then after he finishes that he needs to work on his dissertation, which he hopes to defend in 2-3 months. However since I am not at home, he is getting less time than usual to do his schoolwork. Yesterday he had to pick the kids up from the babysitter at 4:15pm. Today he needs to pick them up at 5:15pm. When I am at home, he doesn't usually get home until sometime between 6:00-6:30pm. When I am home he also does some work on the weekends, but now (since he doesn't multitask) he can only get work done on the weekends when the kids are in bed at night. Hopefully he can make a lot of progress next week while the kids are in Maryland. Aside from chatting on the phone with me a little, he won't have any family distractions next week. If his advisor's funding wasn't about to run out, there could be more flexibility as to when he finished his degree, but since her grant wasn't renewed, he absolutely has to graduate in December. We will all survive, but the stress level is going to be high the next few months for our family. Also, Paul can see the ways my absence is effecting the kids, and this adds to his stress level.
Paul keeps wanting me to come home from the hospital because even if I'm on bedrest he can get more work done when I'm at home compared to when I'm in the hospital. Of course part of me wants to be at home also!!! Sometimes I think what is the point of me being here. I am not receiving any medical treatment aside from medications that I could just as easily take at home. I'm here just in case something horrible would happen (out of control bleeding). It feels strange to be in the hospital because something bad *might* happen. Usually you're in the hospital because something has happened or is happening. Thus far the bleeding has always stopped on its own. The only thing they can do to stop it is deliver Oliver. Part of me thinks it's not so risky for me to go home as I could get to Geisinger within 30 minutes if I started hemmorhaging again. Then I think of how many hours I would be the only adult in the house, and I'm not allowed to drive. What would I do if I started hemmorhaging at a time when Paul wasn't home? In the end our opinion doesn't probably matter one iota because I think even if we asked again, the answer would still be the same from the doctors. They use a 3 strike policy with bleeding episodes from previa (after the 3rd you're in the hospital until you deliver), and even if you don't count the spotting incidents, I've had 4 bleeding episodes already.
Sometimes the days all seem to blur together, but there are four things that will make today unique. The best is that my mom and brother are coming for a visit. He's leaving for Brazil in two weeks so this will be the last time I'll see him for 1-2 years. The more mundane differences include that one Wednesday a month we are served a brunch and every Wednesday we have our weekly weigh-in and urine test. The weigh-in went well. I didn't gain any weight over the past seven days. I'm so hungry right now that I'm thinking next month I'll ask for my breakfast tray even on brunch day. It doesn't help that I've been up since 4am. Last night wasn't a good night for me. Hopefully I'll get a lot more sleep tonight.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Thankful Tuesday
1. This morning I received an email from a woman who also taught middle school where I taught from 1994-95. I haven't seen her since that time, but we reconnected via Facebook a couple of years ago. Wouldn't you know but she ordered a book on Amazon for me and had it shipped to the hospital. It arrived at the hospital on June 12, but she used my maiden name so I got it this morning after I asked my nurse about it. I am so touched by the kindness, generosity, and thoughtfulness of someone I haven't seen in 17 years. She got me Karen Kingsbury's latest book, and Kingsbury happens to be one of my favorite authors (I've read more than 30 of her books over the years).
2. This afternoon I received a lovely arrangement of daisies and carnations from one of the Sunday School classes at my church. That was another totally unexpected surprise!
3. Nine of my Facebook friends have been playing "Words with Friends" (Scrabble) with me yesterday and today, which has helped to pass the time.
4. Although I'm awakened at 11pm for vitals and 12am to take a dose of Procardia, I am getting more sleep up here on the 9th floor than I was on the 8th floor. My bleeding hasn't totally stopped, but as long as it doesn't increase in quantity, they'll let me stay up here. I didn't have any ultrasounds Saturday through Monday, but today's ultrasound showed Oliver isn't anemic yet. We're hoping the next transfusion won't take place for at least 16 more days.
5. Paul's parents graciously watched the kids yesterday when we couldn't find a babysitter. Paul took them to Sarah's house today. A woman from church volunteered to watch the kids at her house tomorrow, and she is refusing to let us pay her. She has a one-year-old son. I was so grateful to find someone. We would have been very happy to pay her. It's so incredibly kind of her to help us out. Paul's parents will be watching the kids again on Thursday and Friday. I really wish I was the one taking care of Nadia and Ian, but I am very thankful that to know that they are being well taken care of in my absence. When I was growing up, I didn't see my grandparents very often because they lived far away from us. Nadia and Ian are blessed to be able to have such a close relationship with their grandparents.
6. I got an email yesterday evening from someone in HR at my university. She sent me the forms the doctor needs to fill out to request medical leave at the start of the fall semester. A nurse allowed me to forward the email to her so she could print out the forms today, as I don't have a printer in my hospital room. The reason I'm including this email on my list is because the first sentence was "I’m sorry you are having so many issues when this should be a very happy time for you!" This might not seem like a big deal, but the last several people I had emailed to inform them that I was in the hospital and would not be able to teach the first 4 weeks of the semester as planned didn't acknowledge my situation at all. These would include my department chair, Dean, department secretary, and the Dean's secretary. The irony is that I don't know this woman in HR at all. I've never talked to her, emailed her before, or met her. I have to say the responses I received from my Dean and Department Chair really hurt. Just one sentence saying something like "I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through" would have meant so much. Last Thursday I held office hours via Wimba only 2 hours after I left the recovery room after my surgery. I was so glad that I didn't start vomiting until after I finished talking with two students. I could have been using paid sick leave since May 30, but I have chosen to keep teaching my online classes even though I'm in the hospital.
7. No meals were delivered last week because it was VBS week at church, but this week meals are scheduled to be delivered Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This is such a big help to Paul! He's started writing his final article. Once he finishes this article then he can work on writing his dissertation, which he hopes to defend in two months.
This morning I was planning to put my contacts back in. I've been wearing my glasses because contacts and tears do not mix well at all. I thought surely I could make it through the day without crying, but it wasn't even 8:00am, and I was already crying my eyes out. I have really, really been missing my kids and husband. The first 10.5 years of marriage we were at the most separated for one week a year (many years not even that much). We were separated for 20 days in April when the kids and I were in Hershey, which was really hard. I had no idea then that 20 days would be a breeze compared to the separation we'd endure this summer. We've now been separated for 24 days, and most likely we have about 50 more days to go. I miss sitting on the couch together (even if we were doing different things) after the kids have gone to bed. This morning what I wanted more than anything else was for him to be here and hold me in bed. The last time I had even 5 minutes alone with my husband was 14 days ago. In light of how I was feeling this morning, the flowers and book were really an encouragement to me today.
2. This afternoon I received a lovely arrangement of daisies and carnations from one of the Sunday School classes at my church. That was another totally unexpected surprise!
3. Nine of my Facebook friends have been playing "Words with Friends" (Scrabble) with me yesterday and today, which has helped to pass the time.
4. Although I'm awakened at 11pm for vitals and 12am to take a dose of Procardia, I am getting more sleep up here on the 9th floor than I was on the 8th floor. My bleeding hasn't totally stopped, but as long as it doesn't increase in quantity, they'll let me stay up here. I didn't have any ultrasounds Saturday through Monday, but today's ultrasound showed Oliver isn't anemic yet. We're hoping the next transfusion won't take place for at least 16 more days.
5. Paul's parents graciously watched the kids yesterday when we couldn't find a babysitter. Paul took them to Sarah's house today. A woman from church volunteered to watch the kids at her house tomorrow, and she is refusing to let us pay her. She has a one-year-old son. I was so grateful to find someone. We would have been very happy to pay her. It's so incredibly kind of her to help us out. Paul's parents will be watching the kids again on Thursday and Friday. I really wish I was the one taking care of Nadia and Ian, but I am very thankful that to know that they are being well taken care of in my absence. When I was growing up, I didn't see my grandparents very often because they lived far away from us. Nadia and Ian are blessed to be able to have such a close relationship with their grandparents.
6. I got an email yesterday evening from someone in HR at my university. She sent me the forms the doctor needs to fill out to request medical leave at the start of the fall semester. A nurse allowed me to forward the email to her so she could print out the forms today, as I don't have a printer in my hospital room. The reason I'm including this email on my list is because the first sentence was "I’m sorry you are having so many issues when this should be a very happy time for you!" This might not seem like a big deal, but the last several people I had emailed to inform them that I was in the hospital and would not be able to teach the first 4 weeks of the semester as planned didn't acknowledge my situation at all. These would include my department chair, Dean, department secretary, and the Dean's secretary. The irony is that I don't know this woman in HR at all. I've never talked to her, emailed her before, or met her. I have to say the responses I received from my Dean and Department Chair really hurt. Just one sentence saying something like "I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through" would have meant so much. Last Thursday I held office hours via Wimba only 2 hours after I left the recovery room after my surgery. I was so glad that I didn't start vomiting until after I finished talking with two students. I could have been using paid sick leave since May 30, but I have chosen to keep teaching my online classes even though I'm in the hospital.
7. No meals were delivered last week because it was VBS week at church, but this week meals are scheduled to be delivered Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This is such a big help to Paul! He's started writing his final article. Once he finishes this article then he can work on writing his dissertation, which he hopes to defend in two months.
This morning I was planning to put my contacts back in. I've been wearing my glasses because contacts and tears do not mix well at all. I thought surely I could make it through the day without crying, but it wasn't even 8:00am, and I was already crying my eyes out. I have really, really been missing my kids and husband. The first 10.5 years of marriage we were at the most separated for one week a year (many years not even that much). We were separated for 20 days in April when the kids and I were in Hershey, which was really hard. I had no idea then that 20 days would be a breeze compared to the separation we'd endure this summer. We've now been separated for 24 days, and most likely we have about 50 more days to go. I miss sitting on the couch together (even if we were doing different things) after the kids have gone to bed. This morning what I wanted more than anything else was for him to be here and hold me in bed. The last time I had even 5 minutes alone with my husband was 14 days ago. In light of how I was feeling this morning, the flowers and book were really an encouragement to me today.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Moving on up!
I am thankful for several things. First, I received the meals I requested! Breakfast was really late (10:35am), but that was because the food service gave everyone in the hospital the "house" diet. Evidentely there was a computer error. My hostess (she services both the antepartum and Labor and Delivery units) went down and made trays for us according to what we had asked for (her own initiative). I was extremely grateful. Second, when the doctor visited me at 12:45 he said that I needed to stay here on the 8th floor another night. I made a sad face and told him that I don't sleep very well with these monitors on all night. He then said if I didn't have any bleeding today, I could move up after dinner. I had a little pink spotting once today, but other than that I haven't seen any blood since 11am yesterday. The nurse checked with him at 6:15pm, and he gave me permission to move upstairs this evening. YAY! Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. I got very little sleep last night. Then I asked him if I could take a shower, and he said I could have one down here. He said it would be a good test to see if I was ready to go upstairs. I have never thought of a taking a shower as a test before. The showers upstairs are much nicer, especially if you have to take one in the seated position, but that warm water felt heavenly. We shall see how long I can stay away from the 8th floor.
The nurse told me if I had a smartphone I could get on any website. I would be tempted if it weren't for the fact that I know you have to sign up for a one or two year contract. I'm not willing to pay the extra expense for that long just so I can get on more websites while I'm hospitalized. I did discover one Facebook game that isn't blocked - Words with Friends. I just wish there were some games I could play by myself that weren't blocked, but I'm glad to have at least one Scrabble game I can play online.
Paul took both kids to Sunday School this morning, but Ian was still screaming 10 minutes later so he took him home and came back for Nadia after Children's Church. Next Sunday the kids will be going to church with my family in Maryland. I am quite certain I've never missed so many weeks of church in a row in my entire life. I'm glad Nadia is still able to go while I'm in the hospital.
The nurse told me if I had a smartphone I could get on any website. I would be tempted if it weren't for the fact that I know you have to sign up for a one or two year contract. I'm not willing to pay the extra expense for that long just so I can get on more websites while I'm hospitalized. I did discover one Facebook game that isn't blocked - Words with Friends. I just wish there were some games I could play by myself that weren't blocked, but I'm glad to have at least one Scrabble game I can play online.
Paul took both kids to Sunday School this morning, but Ian was still screaming 10 minutes later so he took him home and came back for Nadia after Children's Church. Next Sunday the kids will be going to church with my family in Maryland. I am quite certain I've never missed so many weeks of church in a row in my entire life. I'm glad Nadia is still able to go while I'm in the hospital.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Still on the 8th floor
I was able to keep down some saltine crackers at midnight Thursday night, but yesterday morning (before breakfast was served) I threw up a few more times. At least this time I had a bucket to use so it wasn't an ordeal to clean me up like it was on Thursday evening. A little later I asked the nurse for some toast as I felt that part of my problem was that I hadn't really eaten anything (aside from saltine crackers) in over 24 hours. The toast seemed to help a bit. They were going to bring me a tray of clear liquids, but I asked for "my" tray and figured I'd pick at it over time. There is little variation in the menus from week to week. They have a seven day rotation for lunch and dinner, and there are more subtle changes in the choices for breakfast each day. I had selected a breakfast sandwich as my entree yesterday. It was rather tasty, and it was perfect timing as I don't think my stomach could have handled any syrup. Most mornings I pick either one slice of french toast or one Belgian waffle. I hope that breakfast sandwich shows up on the menu again sometime in the next couple of weeks. I still felt rather queasy so I asked for some anti-nausea meds. I had asked for these in the OR, but I am guessing I wasn't given any then. I got the approval to have a shot in my iv every 6 hours. I turned down the dose at 6am this morning as it truly didn't seem necessary any more. I felt like a new woman after that first dose yesterday morning.
I got barely any sleep on Thursday night due to feeling itchy, nauseous, and having a horrible case of heartburn. Thankfully I slept much better last night. I was really needing a decent night's sleep. I got more sleep last night than the previous two nights combined. I couldn't blame my lack of sleep on Thursday night on Oliver. Usually he moves all around at night, which means that the nurse has to constantly relocate the fetal monitor on my belly. Wouldn't you know that she never had to adjust the monitor even one time all night long! Normally the interruptions during the night are much more frequent on the 8th floor than the 9th floor, but I have to say that they have been very minimal the last two nights here on the 8th floor.
Aside from the nausea and a sore back (from my 4th lumbar puncture in 16 days), the other side effect I was experiencing from the surgery was dehydration. The vomiting probably also was a factor in this problem. I have been on an iv since 4am on Thursday morning, and normally when I am on an iv I have to go to the bathroom every 1-2 hours. This was not happening this time. My input was far exceeding my output, and without getting into the gory details, let's just say I'd never seen urine that color before. They tried increasing the amount of fluid I was getting by iv. It was coming at such a fast pace that my arm hurt. That didn't do the trick either. Finally during the night last night things got back to normal. Now I'm going to the bathroom about every 15 minutes to make up for lost time I guess. I'm definitely not dehydrated any more! I asked a couple of times if I could be unhooked from my iv, and they did agree to that earlier this morning. In addition to not wanting to go to the bathroom quite that often, it will also be easier to snuggle with the kids today if I'm not receiving iv fluids while they're here.
When the doctors did their rounds yesterday afternoon, I asked if I could shower (not yet) and go back upstairs (not yet). At that time I had gone about 15 hours without bleeding. Wouldn't you know that soon after the doctors left my room I started bleeding again? It wasn't another bad episode, but I did bleed a little for about 5 hours. I had assumed they'd let me move upstairs today, but now I'm not sure if that will happen or not. We shall see.
Yesterday morning I had an ultrasound, and Oliver was still doing really well in terms of the anemia. His number was much lower yesterday than it was the first day after the first transfusion. Hopefully we can go at least three weeks before I have to enter that OR again. I'm going to ask that we avoid the anesthesia through the iv next time since it made me so sick to my stomach. The spinal was very effective. I don't think anything else is really necessary. Yesterday when she was doing the 4D portion of the ultrasound he was sticking his tongue in and out. It was so cute! She printed a couple of pictures for me and then printed a picture for Dr. Martinez. Then she saved a 17 second video on the computer as she said Drs. Tressler and Martinez would get a kick out of watching Oliver stick his little tongue out. I'd share the picture with you, but I don't have access to a scanner or camera.
Paul and the kids spent about 2.5 hours with me yesterday. It's always so bittersweet. I give them as many hugs and kisses as I can, but then I feel so very sad when they leave. I had done well with previous visits in not crying while they were here, but yesterday I cried as they were leaving. Never in a million years did I anticipate a circumstance that would keep me away from my sweet little children. I only worked full-time one semester over the past four years because being at home with my kids was more important to me than making more money. I am being separated from them a lot more now than I would have been if I had been working full-time. I have to constantly remind myself why I am here. I am here for Oliver Elliot. He is definitely worth it. Most people who are in the hospital for weeks on end aren't here for happy reasons. They're here because they have cancer or something like that. Even though I'm here for a happy reason, it's still hard to be in the hospital for days and weeks on end, especially when I'm so far away from my family. I am not sure why they are able to do so, but two of the husbands are almost always with their wives up on the antepartum unit. Both of them are expecting their first baby, and both of them have been here since the end of May and will be here until they deliver. They're both due in September. One is a lawyer, and she's been married for 10 years. She's expecting a girl. She's been able to keep working from the hospital. Her law firm set her up with a printer, scanner, etc. in her hospital room. I am not saying what she's going through is easy, but I do know it would be easier for me if my husband was with me most of the time and it was my first pregnancy. I just have to keep taking it one day at a time, or I will spend most of the day crying. Paul needs to keep working so he can graduate in December. If I want to become a SAHM, he needs a job, and for him to get the job he wants, he needs to finish his PhD. Some day this extended hospitalization will fade from my memory, and in the long run it's much better for me to spend many weeks in a hospital bed than for Oliver to spend many weeks in the NICU.
I'm extremely grateful to my in-laws. I don't know what we would have done without them. On Thursday they took the kids and Shawn to the Ben Franklin science museum in Philadelphia. I'm sure the kids had a wonderful time. They're still at the age where it's hard to get much out of them. I never saw my grandparents very often when I was growing up as they lived far away from us. I am thrilled that Ian and Nadia are able to have such a close relationship with Paul's parents. Ian and Nadia are going to spend the last week of July with my family as that's when the big family reunion is taking place. Everyone (except for Paul and I) will be there, and it will likely be at least two years until we have such an opportunity again because Yvonne (and her 5 kids and hubby) only plan to return to the US from Turkey every 2 years, and Maurice probably won't be able to come up from Brazil for two years either. I really wish I could be there as well, but I'm glad at least Ian and Nadia will have a chance to play with 8 of their cousins as well as interact with their aunts, uncles, and my parents.
Yesterday I finally was given another week's worth of menus. I had been asking for them since Wednesday. The stack I was given started on Monday. I told the hostess that I hadn't filled out a menu for this Saturday or Sunday. She said they'd just use the ones in the stack that were dated for next Saturday and Sunday. I told my nurse that I fully expected to receive the "house" diet tomorrow as I know from experience the correct date must be on the menu. Unfortunately I was right, and the hostess was wrong. I received the house diet for breakfast (which always includes bacon and orange juice - neither of which I ever eat or drink and it never includes things like a muffin or fresh fruit, which I always request). At least it came with a slice of french toast this morning. That is something I'd order. I asked her to try to correct the situation for lunch and dinner today. I'm thinking of asking again for a menu for tomorrow. I have no idea why she didn't just give me two more menus yesterday. The solution seemed so simple to me. I had been craving a milkshake for more than a week, and Paul was going to stop and get me one yesterday. In light of my tummy troubles yesterday, I told him to skip it as the last thing I wanted yesterday was ice cream. I've also come to the conclusion that although the pizza on Friday is very tasty (not hospital food), the heartburn I get from eating it is just not worth it. It pains me to think I'm going to pick hospital food over food from a restaurant, but a few minutes of enjoying a tasty food isn't worth hours of awful heartburn (even Prevacid hasn't been enough). After I give birth to Oliver I can't wait to have a nice big hot fudge brownie sundae. I am in chocolate withdrawal!!!
I got barely any sleep on Thursday night due to feeling itchy, nauseous, and having a horrible case of heartburn. Thankfully I slept much better last night. I was really needing a decent night's sleep. I got more sleep last night than the previous two nights combined. I couldn't blame my lack of sleep on Thursday night on Oliver. Usually he moves all around at night, which means that the nurse has to constantly relocate the fetal monitor on my belly. Wouldn't you know that she never had to adjust the monitor even one time all night long! Normally the interruptions during the night are much more frequent on the 8th floor than the 9th floor, but I have to say that they have been very minimal the last two nights here on the 8th floor.
Aside from the nausea and a sore back (from my 4th lumbar puncture in 16 days), the other side effect I was experiencing from the surgery was dehydration. The vomiting probably also was a factor in this problem. I have been on an iv since 4am on Thursday morning, and normally when I am on an iv I have to go to the bathroom every 1-2 hours. This was not happening this time. My input was far exceeding my output, and without getting into the gory details, let's just say I'd never seen urine that color before. They tried increasing the amount of fluid I was getting by iv. It was coming at such a fast pace that my arm hurt. That didn't do the trick either. Finally during the night last night things got back to normal. Now I'm going to the bathroom about every 15 minutes to make up for lost time I guess. I'm definitely not dehydrated any more! I asked a couple of times if I could be unhooked from my iv, and they did agree to that earlier this morning. In addition to not wanting to go to the bathroom quite that often, it will also be easier to snuggle with the kids today if I'm not receiving iv fluids while they're here.
When the doctors did their rounds yesterday afternoon, I asked if I could shower (not yet) and go back upstairs (not yet). At that time I had gone about 15 hours without bleeding. Wouldn't you know that soon after the doctors left my room I started bleeding again? It wasn't another bad episode, but I did bleed a little for about 5 hours. I had assumed they'd let me move upstairs today, but now I'm not sure if that will happen or not. We shall see.
Yesterday morning I had an ultrasound, and Oliver was still doing really well in terms of the anemia. His number was much lower yesterday than it was the first day after the first transfusion. Hopefully we can go at least three weeks before I have to enter that OR again. I'm going to ask that we avoid the anesthesia through the iv next time since it made me so sick to my stomach. The spinal was very effective. I don't think anything else is really necessary. Yesterday when she was doing the 4D portion of the ultrasound he was sticking his tongue in and out. It was so cute! She printed a couple of pictures for me and then printed a picture for Dr. Martinez. Then she saved a 17 second video on the computer as she said Drs. Tressler and Martinez would get a kick out of watching Oliver stick his little tongue out. I'd share the picture with you, but I don't have access to a scanner or camera.
Paul and the kids spent about 2.5 hours with me yesterday. It's always so bittersweet. I give them as many hugs and kisses as I can, but then I feel so very sad when they leave. I had done well with previous visits in not crying while they were here, but yesterday I cried as they were leaving. Never in a million years did I anticipate a circumstance that would keep me away from my sweet little children. I only worked full-time one semester over the past four years because being at home with my kids was more important to me than making more money. I am being separated from them a lot more now than I would have been if I had been working full-time. I have to constantly remind myself why I am here. I am here for Oliver Elliot. He is definitely worth it. Most people who are in the hospital for weeks on end aren't here for happy reasons. They're here because they have cancer or something like that. Even though I'm here for a happy reason, it's still hard to be in the hospital for days and weeks on end, especially when I'm so far away from my family. I am not sure why they are able to do so, but two of the husbands are almost always with their wives up on the antepartum unit. Both of them are expecting their first baby, and both of them have been here since the end of May and will be here until they deliver. They're both due in September. One is a lawyer, and she's been married for 10 years. She's expecting a girl. She's been able to keep working from the hospital. Her law firm set her up with a printer, scanner, etc. in her hospital room. I am not saying what she's going through is easy, but I do know it would be easier for me if my husband was with me most of the time and it was my first pregnancy. I just have to keep taking it one day at a time, or I will spend most of the day crying. Paul needs to keep working so he can graduate in December. If I want to become a SAHM, he needs a job, and for him to get the job he wants, he needs to finish his PhD. Some day this extended hospitalization will fade from my memory, and in the long run it's much better for me to spend many weeks in a hospital bed than for Oliver to spend many weeks in the NICU.
I'm extremely grateful to my in-laws. I don't know what we would have done without them. On Thursday they took the kids and Shawn to the Ben Franklin science museum in Philadelphia. I'm sure the kids had a wonderful time. They're still at the age where it's hard to get much out of them. I never saw my grandparents very often when I was growing up as they lived far away from us. I am thrilled that Ian and Nadia are able to have such a close relationship with Paul's parents. Ian and Nadia are going to spend the last week of July with my family as that's when the big family reunion is taking place. Everyone (except for Paul and I) will be there, and it will likely be at least two years until we have such an opportunity again because Yvonne (and her 5 kids and hubby) only plan to return to the US from Turkey every 2 years, and Maurice probably won't be able to come up from Brazil for two years either. I really wish I could be there as well, but I'm glad at least Ian and Nadia will have a chance to play with 8 of their cousins as well as interact with their aunts, uncles, and my parents.
Yesterday I finally was given another week's worth of menus. I had been asking for them since Wednesday. The stack I was given started on Monday. I told the hostess that I hadn't filled out a menu for this Saturday or Sunday. She said they'd just use the ones in the stack that were dated for next Saturday and Sunday. I told my nurse that I fully expected to receive the "house" diet tomorrow as I know from experience the correct date must be on the menu. Unfortunately I was right, and the hostess was wrong. I received the house diet for breakfast (which always includes bacon and orange juice - neither of which I ever eat or drink and it never includes things like a muffin or fresh fruit, which I always request). At least it came with a slice of french toast this morning. That is something I'd order. I asked her to try to correct the situation for lunch and dinner today. I'm thinking of asking again for a menu for tomorrow. I have no idea why she didn't just give me two more menus yesterday. The solution seemed so simple to me. I had been craving a milkshake for more than a week, and Paul was going to stop and get me one yesterday. In light of my tummy troubles yesterday, I told him to skip it as the last thing I wanted yesterday was ice cream. I've also come to the conclusion that although the pizza on Friday is very tasty (not hospital food), the heartburn I get from eating it is just not worth it. It pains me to think I'm going to pick hospital food over food from a restaurant, but a few minutes of enjoying a tasty food isn't worth hours of awful heartburn (even Prevacid hasn't been enough). After I give birth to Oliver I can't wait to have a nice big hot fudge brownie sundae. I am in chocolate withdrawal!!!
Friday, July 13, 2012
New Normal
As of today I've spent 3 full weeks in the hospital, and I'm not counting the one admission since it was only for 5 hours for the blood patch. Life is a lot different here than at home. Here are some of the differences:
1. I constantly have an iv tube inserted in at least one arm, hand, or wrist. Thus far I've had 8 different iv tubes inserted over the past 6+ weeks. I like the location of the current one. The other 7 were inserted by Labor and Delivery nurses, and they use a wider tubing. The 8th one was inserted by someone from iv therapy, and she used a much smaller tube, which is far more comfortable. Plus it's higher on my arm so I can wear my watch in it's usual place (left wrist). My arms and hands are sporting a lot more tape, tape residue, and bruises these days. Taking a shower is more complicated because they have to cover the iv tubing with plastic and lots of tape to try to keep it dry (although some water always manages to get inside). Of course my shower privileges are often revoked so I am very grateful when they let me take a shower. My new normal for showers is to take them sitting down, which was a big adjustment at first.
2. I have been wearing TED compression socks almost 24 hours a day for almost 6 weeks. I only take them off to shower. I've been given 5 pairs of socks thus far. Two pairs are at home, one are on my legs, and two pairs were thrown out (the pair I was wearing last Friday got blood all over them). I vastly prefer the socks to the compression cuff machine that they had me attached to at the first hospital. It was hard to sleep when hooked up to that contraption plus it meant I had one more thing to unplug before I went to the bathroom. I've gone many days over the past 6+ weeks without ever wearing a pair of shoes.
3. Going to the bathroom has become far more complicated. Many times I have to unplug an IV machine, fetal monitor, and contraction monitor before I can walk to the bathroom with my IV machine coming along with me. At times I've had a foley or straight cathether or have had to use a bedpan. Sometimes they've had a "hat" on the toilet as they've been keeping track of my input and output. I am expected to analyze the toilet paper after every time I wipe and report what I saw to the nurse. If there is red blood, I am to save the toilet paper for their visual inspection.
4. Privacy is pretty much a thing of the past. In addition to answering questions many times a day about any "discharge," I also have to report when I've gone #2 every day, and of course my belly is exposed a few hours a day, and there are times when I'm wearing almost no clothing whatsoever (ex. in the OR) or am absolutely naked (after a bleeding episode or vomitting episode). I am getting very accustomed to being covered in some sort of body fluid. Last night I threw up several times and everything was covered. They had to replace my hospital wrist band, all the tape over my iv (as there was food under it), my gown, sheets, blankets, etc. In fact they even had to replace the bands that hold the monitors in place, and those were under my hospital gown. I'm getting used to being cleaned up by wash cloth or wet wipes by a nurse since I'm not allowed to shower after these incidents occur.
5. My belly often has a liberal dose of ultrasound jelly each day (for the fetal heart monitor as well as the frequent ultrasounds). Although I try to keep my clothing out of the way, invariably I get some of it on my shirt, gown, and/or pants every day.
6. I have little control over what I eat and almost no control over when I eat. The times meals are served varies greatly from day to day. If it weren't for the food in the lounge, I would go crazy at times. I have been enjoying eating more fresh fruit than usual (when they actually bring me a tray that includes what I ordered), but I'm not eating nearly as many bananas as usual. For years I've had a banana almost every day. Here I probably average one banana a week. I'm getting accustomed to my stomach growling. Thankfully it didn't start growling until 11:30am yesterday, which was much later than the first time I had a fetal blood transfusion. The procedure was supposed to start at 1:00, but it didn't start until 3:40, which wasn't much earlier than last time's 5pm start.
7. I'm spending about 23 hours a day in a hospital bed. The times I'm out of the bed are when I'm in the bathroom or at an ultrasound appointment. I've learned that it's very hard to avoid spilling a little food on my clothing or sheets when eating in bed.
8. I'm getting on average 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Every once in a while I get more sleep than that, but many times I only get 3-4 hours of sleep, which is a lot less than the 8-9 hours I was getting on average at home. Sometimes I take a nap during the day. I've given up on Ambien. It doesn't help.
9. I'm reading and watching tv FAR more than usual although my tv viewing has gone down now that I can't watch "I Love Lucy," "Dick van Dyke," "Andy Griffith," etc. like I had been. I have tried some new shows that I've never seen before like "Hoarders" and "Extreme Couponing," but they haven't really grabbed my attention. I'm pretty much left with a few game shows to watch such as "Family Feud," "Who wants to be a millionaire," and "Jeopardy."
10. I'm crying a lot more than usual. This week I've also been less talkative. I attended the craft session on Tuesday (probably won't go again - just not my thing), and I found myself really quiet around the other ladies as I was so fearful that if I started talking about something (ex. my kids) I'd start crying.
11. I'm seeing my kids a LOT less than usual. Normally I'm with them for about 13 hours a day, but in the past 8 days I was with them for a total of about 4 hours. This is absolutely the hardest part about being in the hospital. I miss their hugs, kisses, snuggles, laughter, etc. I miss taking pictures of them, and I feel out of touch with what is new in their lives. I didn't even attempt to write a post for Ian yesterday when he turned 31 months old, and that made me sad to realize I wasn't too aware of all the ways he's changed over the past month since I've been apart from him most of that time. I'm very grateful that Paul is bringing them down for a visit today, and I'll see them again tomorrow as they're going to spend the night at Aunt Debbie's house tonight. Hopefully I'll be unhooked from my iv and back up on the 9th floor before they arrive.
12. I'm blowdrying my hair a lot less. It seems rather pointless when I'll just be in a hospital bed all day. I really, really need a haircut. I haven't had one for 3 months. The last one was done at the Ronald McDonald House in April in Hershey. If I can't get it cut for 2 more months it's definitely going to be longer that it has been in years. I can't wait until it's cut!
13. I'm talking to Paul on the phone a lot more than usual.
14. I'm popping a lot more pills and vitamins and having a lot more shots. Previously I had been taking 1 prenatal vitamin a day and having 1 P17 shot a week. Lately I've been taking 4 doses of Procardia a day, 4 vitamins a day, and 2 Colace a day. In addition to the weekly P17 shot, I've had 2 shots of Rhogam, 2 shots in the OR to prevent contractions, and 4 shots of steroids over the past 6 weeks.
15. My temperature, pulse, blood pressure, etc. are now taken many times a day. Sometimes I wonder why "vitals" have to be the same for every patient. I've never had a fever during these 21 days. Why do they still need to take my temp several times a day? It varies by nurse exactly what all they do during the vitals. Some of the check my reflexes. Many of them listen to my heart and lungs with a stethoscope. Some check the color under my fingernails. Some check my legs for swelling. The only time I really wish they'd skip the vitals is when they wake me up to do them. Not Fun.
16. It's much quieter and far more lonely. The only time in my life I can think of when I was this lonely was the summer of 1996 when I first moved to Pennsylvania to start my new job as a principal. The kids and teachers weren't in school, and I had gone from living in a townhouse with 2 roommates in MD to living in a 2 bedroom apartment by myself. Sometimes I have the tv on purely for background noise while I'm reading a book just because the quiet bothers me after being accustomed to the noise Nadia and Ian make throughout the day.
17. I'm getting accustomed to hearing people say something like "you should write a book about your experiences with this pregnancy." It caught me off guard though when the MFM doctor said that to me right before he started the transfusion yesterday. I figured my experiences were more normal for a 'high-risk" patient. I guess not! He said I was dealing with a wider variety of problems than even most MFM patients deal with at one time. I had forgotten how itchy I was after the spinal I had with Ian's c-section. I don't do well with Benadryl (which is what they offered me) so I'm just waiting for the itching to subside. Paul's aunt came to visit me last night, and I felt awkward because I was itching myself constantly all over while she was here.
18. I've worn my glasses FAR more over the past 6 weeks than I have in the past 20 years. I've also been wearing the same jewelry every day for the past 6 weeks, and normally I change my earrings almost every day and change my necklace, bracelet, and the ring I wear on my right hand a couple of times a month. When I go in the OR, all of it has to come off.
19. Paul hasn't gone to a barber in almost 11 years as I've been cutting his hair every since we got married, but I have been encouraging him to go to one in the near future as he's been needing a haircut for awhile, and I probably won't be able to cut his hair for a couple more months.
1. I constantly have an iv tube inserted in at least one arm, hand, or wrist. Thus far I've had 8 different iv tubes inserted over the past 6+ weeks. I like the location of the current one. The other 7 were inserted by Labor and Delivery nurses, and they use a wider tubing. The 8th one was inserted by someone from iv therapy, and she used a much smaller tube, which is far more comfortable. Plus it's higher on my arm so I can wear my watch in it's usual place (left wrist). My arms and hands are sporting a lot more tape, tape residue, and bruises these days. Taking a shower is more complicated because they have to cover the iv tubing with plastic and lots of tape to try to keep it dry (although some water always manages to get inside). Of course my shower privileges are often revoked so I am very grateful when they let me take a shower. My new normal for showers is to take them sitting down, which was a big adjustment at first.
2. I have been wearing TED compression socks almost 24 hours a day for almost 6 weeks. I only take them off to shower. I've been given 5 pairs of socks thus far. Two pairs are at home, one are on my legs, and two pairs were thrown out (the pair I was wearing last Friday got blood all over them). I vastly prefer the socks to the compression cuff machine that they had me attached to at the first hospital. It was hard to sleep when hooked up to that contraption plus it meant I had one more thing to unplug before I went to the bathroom. I've gone many days over the past 6+ weeks without ever wearing a pair of shoes.
3. Going to the bathroom has become far more complicated. Many times I have to unplug an IV machine, fetal monitor, and contraction monitor before I can walk to the bathroom with my IV machine coming along with me. At times I've had a foley or straight cathether or have had to use a bedpan. Sometimes they've had a "hat" on the toilet as they've been keeping track of my input and output. I am expected to analyze the toilet paper after every time I wipe and report what I saw to the nurse. If there is red blood, I am to save the toilet paper for their visual inspection.
4. Privacy is pretty much a thing of the past. In addition to answering questions many times a day about any "discharge," I also have to report when I've gone #2 every day, and of course my belly is exposed a few hours a day, and there are times when I'm wearing almost no clothing whatsoever (ex. in the OR) or am absolutely naked (after a bleeding episode or vomitting episode). I am getting very accustomed to being covered in some sort of body fluid. Last night I threw up several times and everything was covered. They had to replace my hospital wrist band, all the tape over my iv (as there was food under it), my gown, sheets, blankets, etc. In fact they even had to replace the bands that hold the monitors in place, and those were under my hospital gown. I'm getting used to being cleaned up by wash cloth or wet wipes by a nurse since I'm not allowed to shower after these incidents occur.
5. My belly often has a liberal dose of ultrasound jelly each day (for the fetal heart monitor as well as the frequent ultrasounds). Although I try to keep my clothing out of the way, invariably I get some of it on my shirt, gown, and/or pants every day.
6. I have little control over what I eat and almost no control over when I eat. The times meals are served varies greatly from day to day. If it weren't for the food in the lounge, I would go crazy at times. I have been enjoying eating more fresh fruit than usual (when they actually bring me a tray that includes what I ordered), but I'm not eating nearly as many bananas as usual. For years I've had a banana almost every day. Here I probably average one banana a week. I'm getting accustomed to my stomach growling. Thankfully it didn't start growling until 11:30am yesterday, which was much later than the first time I had a fetal blood transfusion. The procedure was supposed to start at 1:00, but it didn't start until 3:40, which wasn't much earlier than last time's 5pm start.
7. I'm spending about 23 hours a day in a hospital bed. The times I'm out of the bed are when I'm in the bathroom or at an ultrasound appointment. I've learned that it's very hard to avoid spilling a little food on my clothing or sheets when eating in bed.
8. I'm getting on average 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Every once in a while I get more sleep than that, but many times I only get 3-4 hours of sleep, which is a lot less than the 8-9 hours I was getting on average at home. Sometimes I take a nap during the day. I've given up on Ambien. It doesn't help.
9. I'm reading and watching tv FAR more than usual although my tv viewing has gone down now that I can't watch "I Love Lucy," "Dick van Dyke," "Andy Griffith," etc. like I had been. I have tried some new shows that I've never seen before like "Hoarders" and "Extreme Couponing," but they haven't really grabbed my attention. I'm pretty much left with a few game shows to watch such as "Family Feud," "Who wants to be a millionaire," and "Jeopardy."
10. I'm crying a lot more than usual. This week I've also been less talkative. I attended the craft session on Tuesday (probably won't go again - just not my thing), and I found myself really quiet around the other ladies as I was so fearful that if I started talking about something (ex. my kids) I'd start crying.
11. I'm seeing my kids a LOT less than usual. Normally I'm with them for about 13 hours a day, but in the past 8 days I was with them for a total of about 4 hours. This is absolutely the hardest part about being in the hospital. I miss their hugs, kisses, snuggles, laughter, etc. I miss taking pictures of them, and I feel out of touch with what is new in their lives. I didn't even attempt to write a post for Ian yesterday when he turned 31 months old, and that made me sad to realize I wasn't too aware of all the ways he's changed over the past month since I've been apart from him most of that time. I'm very grateful that Paul is bringing them down for a visit today, and I'll see them again tomorrow as they're going to spend the night at Aunt Debbie's house tonight. Hopefully I'll be unhooked from my iv and back up on the 9th floor before they arrive.
12. I'm blowdrying my hair a lot less. It seems rather pointless when I'll just be in a hospital bed all day. I really, really need a haircut. I haven't had one for 3 months. The last one was done at the Ronald McDonald House in April in Hershey. If I can't get it cut for 2 more months it's definitely going to be longer that it has been in years. I can't wait until it's cut!
13. I'm talking to Paul on the phone a lot more than usual.
14. I'm popping a lot more pills and vitamins and having a lot more shots. Previously I had been taking 1 prenatal vitamin a day and having 1 P17 shot a week. Lately I've been taking 4 doses of Procardia a day, 4 vitamins a day, and 2 Colace a day. In addition to the weekly P17 shot, I've had 2 shots of Rhogam, 2 shots in the OR to prevent contractions, and 4 shots of steroids over the past 6 weeks.
15. My temperature, pulse, blood pressure, etc. are now taken many times a day. Sometimes I wonder why "vitals" have to be the same for every patient. I've never had a fever during these 21 days. Why do they still need to take my temp several times a day? It varies by nurse exactly what all they do during the vitals. Some of the check my reflexes. Many of them listen to my heart and lungs with a stethoscope. Some check the color under my fingernails. Some check my legs for swelling. The only time I really wish they'd skip the vitals is when they wake me up to do them. Not Fun.
16. It's much quieter and far more lonely. The only time in my life I can think of when I was this lonely was the summer of 1996 when I first moved to Pennsylvania to start my new job as a principal. The kids and teachers weren't in school, and I had gone from living in a townhouse with 2 roommates in MD to living in a 2 bedroom apartment by myself. Sometimes I have the tv on purely for background noise while I'm reading a book just because the quiet bothers me after being accustomed to the noise Nadia and Ian make throughout the day.
17. I'm getting accustomed to hearing people say something like "you should write a book about your experiences with this pregnancy." It caught me off guard though when the MFM doctor said that to me right before he started the transfusion yesterday. I figured my experiences were more normal for a 'high-risk" patient. I guess not! He said I was dealing with a wider variety of problems than even most MFM patients deal with at one time. I had forgotten how itchy I was after the spinal I had with Ian's c-section. I don't do well with Benadryl (which is what they offered me) so I'm just waiting for the itching to subside. Paul's aunt came to visit me last night, and I felt awkward because I was itching myself constantly all over while she was here.
18. I've worn my glasses FAR more over the past 6 weeks than I have in the past 20 years. I've also been wearing the same jewelry every day for the past 6 weeks, and normally I change my earrings almost every day and change my necklace, bracelet, and the ring I wear on my right hand a couple of times a month. When I go in the OR, all of it has to come off.
19. Paul hasn't gone to a barber in almost 11 years as I've been cutting his hair every since we got married, but I have been encouraging him to go to one in the near future as he's been needing a haircut for awhile, and I probably won't be able to cut his hair for a couple more months.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Fetal Transfusion #2
Yesterday 8 of the 34 channels the hospital had been providing vanished because DirecTV changed their rates. I was already bummed on Monday night to discover that they didn't have TNT (I had planned to watch the Closer at 9pm), but then yesterday channels I had been watching (ex. Hallmark and TVLand) were discontinued. Bummer! Regina, I can't do any shopping online as the hospital has all "shopping" sites blocked (eBay, Amazon, Target, Etsy, Money Saving Mom, etc.). They also have blocked Pinterest (they say it's a dating site?!?), online games (I thought I'd pass the time playing word games like Boggle), and streaming media sites (You tube, Netflix, etc.). At least they haven't blocked Blogger or Facebook like the first hospital I stayed in did. I read one book on Sunday, two books on Monday, and two books on Tuesday, but yesterday I had a hard time getting interested in reading although I had three books left. This is a bad combination to lose channels on the tv that I had been watching plus to lose interest in reading. Hopefully it's just that the two books I started reading yesterday weren't really my cup of tea and I'll get back into reading when Paul brings me fourteen more library books tomorrow.
It's a shame I don't have a hobby like knitting because I could accomplish quite a bit given all the time I spend in a hospital bed these days! I'm just not the artsy/craftsy type. I recently made a photo book, and not many pictures have been taken lately since I've been in the hospital so much. A photo book would have been a good project for me to work on during this hospital stay. That is one of the things I really have been missing lately - taking pictures of the kids with my camera. Photography has become one of my favorite hobbies, although I have SO much room for growth and improvement. I'm sure I'll be taking lots of pics in September once Oliver and I come home from the hospital. Paul is bringing me a radio tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to that because although they don't block K-Love, it often freezes up so it's difficult to listen to music through my computer in this hospital. The quiet really bothers me since I'm used to the noise of two little kids. Having music on in the background will be greatly appreciated.
Yesterday at 4pm they gave me another steroid shot since it had been 4 weeks since I had the last set, and they are only effective for 2 weeks. I had the second shot at 4am this morning; that's also when they started up the iv again as I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything after 4am. Normally they wait 24 hours in between the shots, but my transfusion has been scheduled for 1pm so there wasn't time to wait 24 hours. They did try to schedule it for 9am, but the blood bank said they couldn't be ready that early. 9am would have been awesome, but 1pm is better than 5pm (although it was technically scheduled for 3pm last time). It's still hard to skip breakfast and lunch, especially while pregnant. I don't usually eat anything between dinner and bedtime, but last night I went and got a bag of popcorn and some vanilla ice cream from the lounge around 8:30pm. At 3:00am I had some cereal. Hopefully this will hold off the hunger pangs as long as possible. I think my stomach has growled more over the past 6 weeks than any time in my life. I had planned to take an Ambien at 11pm with my Procardia because last time I couldn't sleep after the steroid shot, but I hadn't had trouble sleeping between 9:30-11:00pm so I decided to skip it. Unfortunately I woke up at 12:30am and could NOT go back to sleep - hence part of the reason I was up eating cereal at 3am. I asked the nurse for an Ambien with the second steroid shot at 4am. It didn't help at all. I'm functioning on at most 3 hours of sleep, and the bad news is that I won't be getting more than that tonight since I'll be undergoing 24 hour monitoring in L&D tonight.
The nurse and aide who were on duty when I was bleeding last Friday night were on duty yesterday. They hadn't seen me since Friday. The nurse described the bleeding as "horrific," and the aide said, "I've never seen so much blood before in my life." It was pretty scary for me also, but actually I lost more blood on May 30 than I did on July 6. I wish that Paul was able to come down to the hospital today. Dads are allowed to be in the OR during this procedure (unless general anesthesia is used). His advisor is out of town, but he didn't feel like he could come down since he won't be getting much (if any) work done tomorrow since he's picking up the kids at his parents' house and then coming down to visit me. It's just hard for me (emotionally) to go into an operating room knowing no family members are there in the hospital with me. Last time the transfusion itself only took 17 minutes (albeit I was in the OR for about an hour). They said it went as smoothly as possible because Oliver was in a great position. His bottom was on part of the umbilical cord, which helped to hold it in place after they partially paralyzed him. Hopefully it will go just as smoothly today. I'm also hoping that I can hold it together better emotionally. I cried off and on for a good 3 hours the last time. At least I'm not wearing contacts today, like I was last time. I have been emotional since they told me I wasn't coming home so I have just been wearing glasses since Monday because contacts and tears are a very bad combination. Today is day #20 of being hospitalized since May 30. Twenty days down and at the most 57 more days to go. I just need to take it one day at a time.
It's a shame I don't have a hobby like knitting because I could accomplish quite a bit given all the time I spend in a hospital bed these days! I'm just not the artsy/craftsy type. I recently made a photo book, and not many pictures have been taken lately since I've been in the hospital so much. A photo book would have been a good project for me to work on during this hospital stay. That is one of the things I really have been missing lately - taking pictures of the kids with my camera. Photography has become one of my favorite hobbies, although I have SO much room for growth and improvement. I'm sure I'll be taking lots of pics in September once Oliver and I come home from the hospital. Paul is bringing me a radio tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to that because although they don't block K-Love, it often freezes up so it's difficult to listen to music through my computer in this hospital. The quiet really bothers me since I'm used to the noise of two little kids. Having music on in the background will be greatly appreciated.
Yesterday at 4pm they gave me another steroid shot since it had been 4 weeks since I had the last set, and they are only effective for 2 weeks. I had the second shot at 4am this morning; that's also when they started up the iv again as I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything after 4am. Normally they wait 24 hours in between the shots, but my transfusion has been scheduled for 1pm so there wasn't time to wait 24 hours. They did try to schedule it for 9am, but the blood bank said they couldn't be ready that early. 9am would have been awesome, but 1pm is better than 5pm (although it was technically scheduled for 3pm last time). It's still hard to skip breakfast and lunch, especially while pregnant. I don't usually eat anything between dinner and bedtime, but last night I went and got a bag of popcorn and some vanilla ice cream from the lounge around 8:30pm. At 3:00am I had some cereal. Hopefully this will hold off the hunger pangs as long as possible. I think my stomach has growled more over the past 6 weeks than any time in my life. I had planned to take an Ambien at 11pm with my Procardia because last time I couldn't sleep after the steroid shot, but I hadn't had trouble sleeping between 9:30-11:00pm so I decided to skip it. Unfortunately I woke up at 12:30am and could NOT go back to sleep - hence part of the reason I was up eating cereal at 3am. I asked the nurse for an Ambien with the second steroid shot at 4am. It didn't help at all. I'm functioning on at most 3 hours of sleep, and the bad news is that I won't be getting more than that tonight since I'll be undergoing 24 hour monitoring in L&D tonight.
The nurse and aide who were on duty when I was bleeding last Friday night were on duty yesterday. They hadn't seen me since Friday. The nurse described the bleeding as "horrific," and the aide said, "I've never seen so much blood before in my life." It was pretty scary for me also, but actually I lost more blood on May 30 than I did on July 6. I wish that Paul was able to come down to the hospital today. Dads are allowed to be in the OR during this procedure (unless general anesthesia is used). His advisor is out of town, but he didn't feel like he could come down since he won't be getting much (if any) work done tomorrow since he's picking up the kids at his parents' house and then coming down to visit me. It's just hard for me (emotionally) to go into an operating room knowing no family members are there in the hospital with me. Last time the transfusion itself only took 17 minutes (albeit I was in the OR for about an hour). They said it went as smoothly as possible because Oliver was in a great position. His bottom was on part of the umbilical cord, which helped to hold it in place after they partially paralyzed him. Hopefully it will go just as smoothly today. I'm also hoping that I can hold it together better emotionally. I cried off and on for a good 3 hours the last time. At least I'm not wearing contacts today, like I was last time. I have been emotional since they told me I wasn't coming home so I have just been wearing glasses since Monday because contacts and tears are a very bad combination. Today is day #20 of being hospitalized since May 30. Twenty days down and at the most 57 more days to go. I just need to take it one day at a time.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Visitors!
Last night I gave a lecture on validity and reliability (I'm teaching an assessment course) from 6-8pm. I was praying all would go smoothly, especially since my most recent hemmorhaging incident had taken place at 6:45pm on Friday. I had told my nurse to please give me any medications, take my vitals, etc. before 6pm so that I wouldn't be disturbed during that time frame. I was praying my dinner would be served by 5:30 so that I could eat before teaching, and it was delivered at 5:20. The class went smoothly, but I did have three people come into my room during that time span. The first was Paul's aunt. I felt terrible that she came over to visit, and I couldn't visit with her because I was in the middle of teaching a class. I didn't know she was coming, and Paul forgot to tell her I was teaching. She brought me an apple pie from McD's, which I enjoyed eating after my class was over. She also took my laundry. I think she thought I had lots of laundry I needed done. My reason for asking Paul to do a load of laundry at her house this weekend was I knew I didn't have 2 weeks worth of clothing. However he only brought me these clothes on Saturday afternoon so I didn't have tons of clothes that needed washed on Tuesday. I felt badly that she came over here for nothing. It was so sweet of her to take the time to come visit me. The second visitor was a woman who had a dog with her for pet therapy. I just waved my hands and shook my head "no." I'm not really a dog person so I don't feel any loss for having missed out on the pet therapy (which happens once a week). The third visitor was another nurse (not mine) who had baked some cookies. Thankfully she just walked over, and I took a cookie off the tray and continued to teach my class. It's funny because the rest of the day the only time I had a visitor was my nurse OR the doctors when they did their rounds. I figured if I told my nurse that no one would come into my room. I was wrong!
This morning I had three visitors, and I was ever so grateful for their appearance. The timing was perfect as I had just been wheeled back from my ultrasound (wasn't even out of the wheelchair yet) and in came Paul's dad pushing the kids in their double stroller. What a balm to my soul it was to hug, kiss, and cuddle with my two precious children. I miss them SOOOO much! Saying goodbye wasn't as hard today as it was last Saturday because I know Paul is planning to bring them down on Friday and Saturday. They were here for about 90 minutes. I read them a few books, fed them some snacks, and we watched an episode of Word World together. Bliss.
Oliver is back in the severe anemia category. I'm expecting the next fetal transfusion to take place tomorrow. They were waiting to talk with Dr. Tressler (the only doctor in the practice who does this procedure). I'm sure I'll find out the details when they do their rounds later today. I'm expecting to have the two steroid shots again today and tomorrow as it's been 4 weeks since I had them. According to my egg retrieval date, I am 28 weeks today. They say I'm 27w5d. They estimated his weight today to be 2 1/2 lbs, which is 10 ounces more than they said he weighed 15 days ago. If I have the transfusion tomorrow, the first two transfusions would have been 16 days apart. I've already requested that they schedule the procedure in the morning. Hopefully that will be possible.
This morning the hostess told me they didn't have any menus for me for today, but that they do have tomorrow's menus. I told her that the seven days' worth of menus were all stapled together, and I didn't unstaple them. I filled them all out. I didn't get what I wanted for breakfast so I got some cereal and yogurt from the lounge. I missed the fresh fruit and muffin that I always get with my breakfast. She did ask me at breakfast what entrees I wanted for lunch and dinner. I didn't get to select things like my dessert, but at least I got to pick my entrees. A trip to L&D is probably going to goof things up again (I have to spend a day in L&D after the transfusion). I really was surprised this morning. I falsely assumed things would continue to go smoothly with my meals.
This morning I had three visitors, and I was ever so grateful for their appearance. The timing was perfect as I had just been wheeled back from my ultrasound (wasn't even out of the wheelchair yet) and in came Paul's dad pushing the kids in their double stroller. What a balm to my soul it was to hug, kiss, and cuddle with my two precious children. I miss them SOOOO much! Saying goodbye wasn't as hard today as it was last Saturday because I know Paul is planning to bring them down on Friday and Saturday. They were here for about 90 minutes. I read them a few books, fed them some snacks, and we watched an episode of Word World together. Bliss.
Oliver is back in the severe anemia category. I'm expecting the next fetal transfusion to take place tomorrow. They were waiting to talk with Dr. Tressler (the only doctor in the practice who does this procedure). I'm sure I'll find out the details when they do their rounds later today. I'm expecting to have the two steroid shots again today and tomorrow as it's been 4 weeks since I had them. According to my egg retrieval date, I am 28 weeks today. They say I'm 27w5d. They estimated his weight today to be 2 1/2 lbs, which is 10 ounces more than they said he weighed 15 days ago. If I have the transfusion tomorrow, the first two transfusions would have been 16 days apart. I've already requested that they schedule the procedure in the morning. Hopefully that will be possible.
This morning the hostess told me they didn't have any menus for me for today, but that they do have tomorrow's menus. I told her that the seven days' worth of menus were all stapled together, and I didn't unstaple them. I filled them all out. I didn't get what I wanted for breakfast so I got some cereal and yogurt from the lounge. I missed the fresh fruit and muffin that I always get with my breakfast. She did ask me at breakfast what entrees I wanted for lunch and dinner. I didn't get to select things like my dessert, but at least I got to pick my entrees. A trip to L&D is probably going to goof things up again (I have to spend a day in L&D after the transfusion). I really was surprised this morning. I falsely assumed things would continue to go smoothly with my meals.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
What a relief!
Yesterday Paul asked me if I knew yet whether the insurance was paying for any of my medical bills from May/June. I hadn't checked for several days, so I decided to check last night. Paul asking me a question like that is rather unusual. Typically he never asks me anything that relates to our finances, but I've noticed over the past 6 weeks that he's been more concerned - ex. asking if we can afford to pay babysitters (yes). He's been worried that we were going to owe tens of thousands of dollars for the hospital stays that took place prior to July 1. They haven't paid anything (yet) toward any of my office visits to the MFM clinic (which started 10 weeks ago), but it was a BIG relief to see that we don't owe anything toward my first hospitalization here in Harrisburg. The bill was for over $11K, the insurance paid over $9K on July 5, and we don't need to pay the difference. This gives me hope that they will pay for the other hospitalizations that occured before we went back on Blue Shield.
They also paid part of the bill for the bloodwork I had done at Hershey in April. The weird thing is that they paid the entire bill when I had the same exact bloodwork done at our local hospital in March, but this time they said some of it wasn't covered under maternity benefits. The ironic thing is that the two places they MOST want us to go if possible are #1 the health clinic at PSU and #2 Hershey Medical (which is owned by PSU). So it's rather ironic that they are saying we owe about $200 for having the titers drawn at Hershey whereas we didn't owe a penny for having the titers drawn at our local hospital. Also, the bill would be lower if the OB nurse hadn't faxed the wrong orders to Hershey. She accidently faxed the orders from March (for both Kell and Fya) whereas the doctor had only ordered the Fya titer to be drawn in April, as we already knew at that point that Paul is also Kell negative, but I still felt some relief at seeing that they paid something toward that bill as they hadn't been paying anything for quite awhile. The original total from Hershey was for over $800 (seems outrageous for 2 blood tests, especially as the local hospital charged a fraction of that for the same 2 tests) so we could have ended up paying far more than $200.
I'm hoping they'll end up paying most of the bills. They paid for everything during the 7 months we were on this insurance in 2011, and Ian had a couple of surgeries during that time span. But even if they don't end up paying for some of the MFM ultrasounds, it's still a big relief knowing that they'll pay for the hospitalizations. Well the true relief will come when I see they've paid for ALL of the hospitalizations, but I have far more hope now that they will since they did pay for one. They still haven't paid anything towards Ian's feeding program, but I'm not worried about those bills (even though they total over $20K) because I know his Medical Assistance will cover them if the health insurance doesn't. Thus far I've paid $518 that I wouldn't have paid if we were on Blue Shield (for the ultrasound at Geisinger in February), which means that thus far it hasn't proven to be a mistake financially (since we saved $3K in insurance premiums). We shall see in the end if it was a mistake financially. Even if the medical bills total less than $3K, I still regret our decision due to the emotional stress it has caused. In the future, I will not go the cheap route with health insurance, if we have a choice and can possibly afford the more expensive option. My bigger concern regarding health insurance is that I don't know if we'll have any starting in January due to Paul graduating in December and my plans to resign in early January. Hopefully he'll be able to get a job in January that includes benefits (which would be unusual for a position that only lasts one semester).
We talked last night about Paul and the kids staying somewhere closer to the hospital one night on the weekend so that I could see the kids two times a week rather than only one time. I suggested they spend Saturday night at his aunt's house (she lives about 20 minutes away from where I am). Paul said that his advisor will be leaving for Seattle on Wednesday. So he's decided to only go to PSU three times this week (Monday-Wednesday). He's going to work from home on Thursday and come down with the kids sometime on Friday. He thought coming down on Friday/Saturday was the better option as that way Nadia can still go to church on Sunday. I agree! This past Sunday the two couples who have given Nadia rides to church the previous 3 weeks were out of town so Paul took both kids to Sunday School and children's church this past Sunday. I was glad because it was the first time in two months that Ian had been to church. Nadia went to another VBS on Sunday night.
Paul's dad came and got the kids on Monday morning so she didn't go to VBS last night and won't go tonight either. Today they'll be spending time with their cousin, Brandi, at Paul's parents' house, and on Thursday Paul's parents are taking Ian, Nadia, and Shawn to Philadelphia to go to the Please Touch Museum. I was crying last night about missing her first performance in a musical (August 10/11), especially as I don't think our camera will allow us to take THAT long of a video, but Paul said he thinks Oliver will be born before then. He doesn't think I'll actually be hospitalized another 8 weeks. We shall see. I just need to take things one day at a time. Last night I was thinking that if I don't bleed at all for the next week or so, that I might ask the doctors to reconsider their decision after Oliver's next transfusion. I'm not sure if they would actually be willing to change their minds, but it's easier for me to deal with this if I at least think there's a chance I might get to go home prior to his birth.
I had no idea when I packed my bag on July 4th that I might not be home for two months. I only packed a bag in case they were going to hospitalize me for 48 hours for a transfusion for Oliver. I keep thinking of the things I would have done had I known that I would be gone for so long such as sorting through his clothing to pack some clothes for Oliver to wear in the hospital. I also would have done some more shopping online as I can't do any online shopping here in the hospital. Thankfully, I had already done most of my shopping for him. I wish we had already gone paint shopping, but Paul is much better at selecting a paint color than I am. I'm sure he'll pick a nice shade of yellow for Oliver's room. I am going to contact some people at my church to see if they will help with moving the bookshelves from that room down to the main floor of our house. I figure the soonest that Oliver would come home would be the last week of August so as long as the nursery is ready by then we should be fine. One thing I wish I had ordered last week were the letters for his name to put on the wall. Oh well, I'll order them whenever I'm discharged, and maybe just maybe that will be before he's born. We shall see. Right now I'm counting down the days until I get to hug and kiss my sweethearts.
They also paid part of the bill for the bloodwork I had done at Hershey in April. The weird thing is that they paid the entire bill when I had the same exact bloodwork done at our local hospital in March, but this time they said some of it wasn't covered under maternity benefits. The ironic thing is that the two places they MOST want us to go if possible are #1 the health clinic at PSU and #2 Hershey Medical (which is owned by PSU). So it's rather ironic that they are saying we owe about $200 for having the titers drawn at Hershey whereas we didn't owe a penny for having the titers drawn at our local hospital. Also, the bill would be lower if the OB nurse hadn't faxed the wrong orders to Hershey. She accidently faxed the orders from March (for both Kell and Fya) whereas the doctor had only ordered the Fya titer to be drawn in April, as we already knew at that point that Paul is also Kell negative, but I still felt some relief at seeing that they paid something toward that bill as they hadn't been paying anything for quite awhile. The original total from Hershey was for over $800 (seems outrageous for 2 blood tests, especially as the local hospital charged a fraction of that for the same 2 tests) so we could have ended up paying far more than $200.
I'm hoping they'll end up paying most of the bills. They paid for everything during the 7 months we were on this insurance in 2011, and Ian had a couple of surgeries during that time span. But even if they don't end up paying for some of the MFM ultrasounds, it's still a big relief knowing that they'll pay for the hospitalizations. Well the true relief will come when I see they've paid for ALL of the hospitalizations, but I have far more hope now that they will since they did pay for one. They still haven't paid anything towards Ian's feeding program, but I'm not worried about those bills (even though they total over $20K) because I know his Medical Assistance will cover them if the health insurance doesn't. Thus far I've paid $518 that I wouldn't have paid if we were on Blue Shield (for the ultrasound at Geisinger in February), which means that thus far it hasn't proven to be a mistake financially (since we saved $3K in insurance premiums). We shall see in the end if it was a mistake financially. Even if the medical bills total less than $3K, I still regret our decision due to the emotional stress it has caused. In the future, I will not go the cheap route with health insurance, if we have a choice and can possibly afford the more expensive option. My bigger concern regarding health insurance is that I don't know if we'll have any starting in January due to Paul graduating in December and my plans to resign in early January. Hopefully he'll be able to get a job in January that includes benefits (which would be unusual for a position that only lasts one semester).
We talked last night about Paul and the kids staying somewhere closer to the hospital one night on the weekend so that I could see the kids two times a week rather than only one time. I suggested they spend Saturday night at his aunt's house (she lives about 20 minutes away from where I am). Paul said that his advisor will be leaving for Seattle on Wednesday. So he's decided to only go to PSU three times this week (Monday-Wednesday). He's going to work from home on Thursday and come down with the kids sometime on Friday. He thought coming down on Friday/Saturday was the better option as that way Nadia can still go to church on Sunday. I agree! This past Sunday the two couples who have given Nadia rides to church the previous 3 weeks were out of town so Paul took both kids to Sunday School and children's church this past Sunday. I was glad because it was the first time in two months that Ian had been to church. Nadia went to another VBS on Sunday night.
Paul's dad came and got the kids on Monday morning so she didn't go to VBS last night and won't go tonight either. Today they'll be spending time with their cousin, Brandi, at Paul's parents' house, and on Thursday Paul's parents are taking Ian, Nadia, and Shawn to Philadelphia to go to the Please Touch Museum. I was crying last night about missing her first performance in a musical (August 10/11), especially as I don't think our camera will allow us to take THAT long of a video, but Paul said he thinks Oliver will be born before then. He doesn't think I'll actually be hospitalized another 8 weeks. We shall see. I just need to take things one day at a time. Last night I was thinking that if I don't bleed at all for the next week or so, that I might ask the doctors to reconsider their decision after Oliver's next transfusion. I'm not sure if they would actually be willing to change their minds, but it's easier for me to deal with this if I at least think there's a chance I might get to go home prior to his birth.
I had no idea when I packed my bag on July 4th that I might not be home for two months. I only packed a bag in case they were going to hospitalize me for 48 hours for a transfusion for Oliver. I keep thinking of the things I would have done had I known that I would be gone for so long such as sorting through his clothing to pack some clothes for Oliver to wear in the hospital. I also would have done some more shopping online as I can't do any online shopping here in the hospital. Thankfully, I had already done most of my shopping for him. I wish we had already gone paint shopping, but Paul is much better at selecting a paint color than I am. I'm sure he'll pick a nice shade of yellow for Oliver's room. I am going to contact some people at my church to see if they will help with moving the bookshelves from that room down to the main floor of our house. I figure the soonest that Oliver would come home would be the last week of August so as long as the nursery is ready by then we should be fine. One thing I wish I had ordered last week were the letters for his name to put on the wall. Oh well, I'll order them whenever I'm discharged, and maybe just maybe that will be before he's born. We shall see. Right now I'm counting down the days until I get to hug and kiss my sweethearts.
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