Good Girl

I have to say that Nadia always seems to be very well behaved in church. She never makes a peep, and she usually sleeps through the sermon (pastors might not like it if adults do that, but they certainly don't mind if babies do!). I have been "church shopping" lately. I thought I'd keep going to the same church as although we live farther away in terms of miles, it still takes about 25 minutes to get to church as it has the past 4 years since we are traveling on an Interstate highway most of the way now. Well we decided it would be better if we went to a church closer to home. Part of the reason is that we are both spending a lot more time on the road traveling to school than we did the past 4 years. Additionally, if we keep going to the same church, I doubt we'll meet anyone who lives less than 30 minutes away from us. I would like to make some friends who live closer than that. I also think I'll be more involved if we lived closer. Of course this has been a very hard decision to make as I love the church I've been a member of the past 4 years. I've really enjoyed singing in the choir, playing in the handbell choir, playing my flute regularly, and participating in ladies Bible study. They also have a wonderful pastor, a great library that is continually stocked with new books that I enjoy reading, and I completely agree with the church's doctrinal statement. I also was really touched at how people prayed so fervently during the IVF process and pregnancy. I've never in my life had so many people at church praying for me, and their prayers were answered!!! So in the past two months I've visited 3 different churches (3 different denominations actually). One was only 1.1 miles from our home. Let me tell you that was a big plus, but in the end I don't think I'll pick that church although I might have Nadia go to AWANA there on Wednesday nights when she is old enough as I don't see a reason to take her to AWANA at the church I think I'll join since it's farther away. So probably this next Sunday will be my last going to the church I've been going to since July 2004. We have our Christmas concert at the 8:00 and 10:45 services. I am playing two flute solos and also playing a couple of songs with the handbell choir. It's going to be emotional for me I am sure. I was a bit emotional last week when we went there as everyone loves to see Nadia when we go there. As one choir member said to me,"She's our baby." Although people at these other churches tell me how well behaved she is and how cute she is, they don't have the attachment to her that the folks at my church do since they prayed for her for so long.

Last night Nadia woke up every 4 hours instead of every 2 hours which was appreciated. She cried when I put her down after nursing her each time which she usually doesn't do, but altogether she didn't cry very much last night. I did let her get up for the day at 5:55am though which is earlier than I'd like. Yesterday and today her first nap was over an hour (closer to 90 minutes) so maybe we have finally broken the 45 minute nap barrier? We shall see. I was going to go to an early service this morning, but since her nap was twice as long as I expected it to be and I didn't want to wake her, I went to a later service. That was probably a good thing as the roads were snow covered this morning.

Nadia LOVES to stand, and she will stand for quite a long period of time these days. The people around me at church this morning were amazed at how long she stood on my lap during church. Sometimes she laughs she is so happy to be standing (not at church though, thankfully). She supports her weight very well. She also is getting closer to sitting without assistance. She can hold her own for a few seconds now, and she's using her hands a lot more to hold toys in her bouncer and gym. She hasn't been rolling over or cooing as much lately; we really miss the cooing! She still laughs when Mommy eats her belly or cheeks. :-)

Take-Along Songs

The two books that Nadia has the longest attention span for are "Farm Songs" and "I Love You Songs" which each have an accompanying CD. I have other books that came with CDs such as Sing With Me's "25 Silly Songs" and "25 Nursery Songs," but those books are not board books and although they are also large books the majority of each page is devoted to the music for the song. The Take Along Songs books feature nice large pictures and only the lyrics are on each page. Although I play the other CD's while she's playing in her gym, the books themselves don't grab her attention (at this age anyhow). Well I am getting a bit weary of the Farm and I Love You songs as we do those each multiple times a day. I had purchased them at Ollies for I think $3.99 each (CD + book for that price). I looked online today and found that there were 7 total titles in the series. I know I had purchased at least one of the other titles as a gift for one of my sister's children, but I hadn't purchased an extra one for myself. I should have! Well since these books are SUCH a hit with Nadia, I thought it would be well worth paying a little more than I did at Ollie's to buy the other ones. I was able to buy 4 other titles in the series on eBay for about $10 each (including s/h). The only one I couldn't find anywhere was Bible Songs. Well I found used copies of it without the CD, but I only want to buy it if it comes with the CD. Yesterday when I was buying a book for another family member I needed to spend a little more to qualify for free shipping, so I bought a set of 4 Curious George board books for Nadia. So I am done Christmas shopping for her. Of course she won't really be in to opening presents until Christmas 2009, but Paul said we still needed to buy her a few gifts. I think though I won't wrap up all of the Take Along Songs books as Mommy really would like a new one ASAP to add some variety. I don't want to wait until Christmas! Hopefully she'll like these new ones (Learning Songs, Silly Songs, Bedtime Songs, and Songs That Go) as much as she likes the two we already have.

Last night involved a LOT of crying on Nadia's part. She keeps waking up every 2 hours but the soonest I will feed her is every 4 hours. The first time she cried for about an hour and I finally caved and fed her although it wasn't quite 4 hours yet. Thankfully the other two times she woke up too soon she only cried for a few minutes (less than 5) and went back to sleep. The good news is she didn't get up for the day until 7:10am and I only fed her twice during those 11 1/2 hours (she went down at 7:45pm), and she was fine with nursing those two times (which is the norm but that other night she wanted a bottle at 4am so I wasn't sure what to expect last night). The frustrating part is she used to have a stretch of 5-7 hours and that has disappeared. Also, although I might not be getting up, those stretches when she cries are still "awake" times for Mommy so the longest stretch I'm getting these days is 2 hours. Ugh.

700th post

Well it's been almost 2 years since I started this blog (12/22/06). I thought it would be about our experiences adopting 2 children from Ukraine plus one newborn in the US, but so far it's turned out to be about our little Nadia from a FET.
Thanksgiving was really special last year since I was pregnant and also got to see my sister, Yvonne, and her family whom I hadn't seen in awhile. This one was also very special since it was Nadia’s first Thanksgiving! We enjoyed spending time in person with both of our families the last two days plus some time with my sisters’ families via webcam. We sang Happy Birthday to Joe over the webcams as it was his birthday yesterday, enjoyed hearing Susie (age 4) and Jenna (age 6) read books, and got to see our 3 day old nephew, Nathan, for the first time as well. Speaking of books, my mom was impressed with how long Nadia will sit on someone’s lap and look at a book while the music that accompanies the book is being played on the CD player. I often go through two books at a time with her, and each book has 10 songs (most with multiple verses). She studies each page of the book intently and is content to stay on one page for an extended period of time.

My parents and brother were at our house from 1:30pm on Wednesday to 1:50pm on Thursday. I cooked a turkey dinner for them on Wed (including stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, rolls, pies, and ice cream). They ate leftovers from that meal on Thursday before they left so they still got to eat turkey on Thanksgiving. :-) I usually love to make yeast bread for holidays, but with a baby I went the easy route and just bought rolls and pies that were ready to go in the oven. My mom made the gravy as that’s not my specialty. Paul’s sil (Millie) cooked a great meal yesterday that we enjoyed with Paul’s family. Of course both families enjoyed seeing Nadia. :-) On Thursday I got to play games with my dad. I beat him in Boggle twice (twice we played to 200 points), and I would have beat him in Racko if we had stuck with the plan to play to 200, but when I saw the official rules say to play to 500 I suggested we play to 250, and he was the first to pass the 250 mark so he beat me in Racko. I am looking forward to playing Boggle with more people at Christmas. It’s my favorite game!

Today I am hoping to get Nadia back on schedule. I didn’t want my parents or brother to be kept awake while she cried it out on Wed pm so that meant I fed her almost every 2 hours and also let her get up for the day at 5am although lately I hadn’t been letting her get up before 7am. This then through her nap schedule off although thankfully she slept as we drove to and from Paul’s brother’s house (70 minutes each way). I had gotten her down to 8 ounces a day of formula (she had been up to 12 a day), but last night after I changed a poopy diaper at 4am she just refused to nurse so Paul gave her a bottle instead. I constantly go back and forth between wanting to wean her off of formula since I’ll be home with her for a month in between the semesters and bottles won’t be necessary, and then other times I just get so stressed about it I just feel like telling myself it doesn’t matter how much formula she gets each day and not to worry about it.

I did 2 loads of laundry and a little shopping online this morning, and next on my list is to do some grading. Between Paul’s family and my family, I have 22 people to buy Christmas presents for this year. I am about half-way done thanks to some shopping I did many months ago. I am one of those people who NEVER goes shopping on Black Friday. The bargains appeal to me, but the crowds do not, and now with getting up throughout the night to feed Nadia, the idea of shopping before dawn is completely unappealing. Well I hope everyone had a very nice Thanksgiving, and for those of you who participate in Black Friday, I hope you had fun shopping! :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Of course we should count our blessings all throughout the year and not just on Thanksgiving, but on this day I would like to remember some of the many answers to prayer we've seen in the past 12 months.

1. The top of the list is definitely NADIA!!! At this time last year, I was pregnant which was already a huge miracle, and our prayers for a safe pregnancy were answered.
2. Good health - Paul, Nadia, and I have been healthy - not something to take for granted.
3. Paul was accepted into Penn State's PhD program - our top choice!
4. I am able to keep working which is necessary financially, yet Nadia is able to stay at home and be cared for by her parents (and grandparents upon occasion).
5. I was granted tenure and a promotion to Associate Professor in August.
6. Gas prices have come down under $2 which is a big help to us given how many miles we each drive every week.
7. Paul is an excellent father; he even doesn't mind changing (wet) diapers! :-)

Strike Two

Well I had a better shot at getting her to smile for her last photos. That time she was smiling, cooing, and laughing all the time I was shopping in Walmart prior to her photos. Then she was smiled out. This time she had no smiles At All. Actually she started to cry a few times. She was tired as she wouldn't go to sleep when I put her down earlier, and then she fell asleep in the car, but the trip is only 15 minutes so she was interrupted from her nap. We were late on top of it so we had to wait a long time as we technically had missed our appt. I tried to do too much prior to 9:30am - shower and get myself all done up, bathe Nadia and get her all dressed up, give Paul a haircut, and stuff the turkey and get it in the oven. The last photo that I like of Nadia & I is from August. Barely any have been taken since then of she & I. It's been even longer since we've had any of the 3 of us. I plan to ask Wendy to take some of us in December when we're in MD. The poses we bought were the top two. They were the best of the 11 poses they took. I think we'll wait til she's 1 year old to try professional photographs again. Hopefully she'll smile then!!

Christmas Cards

The Christmas cards I ordered from Snapfish came in the mail. Paul picked the picture with her in the red dress, and I picked the picture used in the blue card. Thanks for telling us about this deal, Erica! For those of you on my Christmas letter mailing list, if you prefer one of these two cards, feel free to let me know so I can send you the one you like better. :-)

Today I picked up the two items from the frame shop. I'll post pics of them later this week. They turned out well (they sure better have for the fortune it cost to frame them!).

Paul & I worked on unpacking the boxes in his office today. I'll take pics of that as well. Everything else has been unpacked for awhile now, and once his books are unpacked we'll be done unpacking. Yay!

Of all the teachers I had from K-11th grade, Kathy Brown was one of my three most favorite. We've been praying for several weeks for her to be able to receive a heart transplant; they said she would only be "healthy" enough to be eligible to receive one for six months. PTL she got "the call" last night and had the surgery today. We are praying her body will accept this new heart. In 1992 I came back to teach at the school where I had been a student in grades 4-8, and she was my principal the 2 years I taught at that school. She was a great boss. I really hope and pray this heart transplant surgery is a success!!!

5 Months Old!

Today my little girl turned 5 months old. She is growing up so fast! Her hair that has been coming in lately on top is blonde, and the hair in the back that she was born with is still dark brown. Her eyes are still blue, and her laughter is still the sweetest sound in the world to me. She laughs louder and longer these days. Daddy says Mommy does the best job at getting her to laugh. She is grabbing at things more these days, loves standing up (with assistance of course), thinks patty cake is a great game to play with feet or hands, and has recently discovered that the thumb on her left hand is as yummy as the one on her right hand. She's forgotten how to say "hi" - she had gotten to the point where she'd usually say it when I'd say "say Hi," but now she doesn't say it at all. I'm working on teaching her to clap her hands. She still loves music. Mommy gets a kick out of hearing Daddy sing to Nadia rather frequently (since Daddy is a bit on the tone deaf side of things...he makes a "joyful noise").

I'm determined to shift her "get up time" to at least 7am. This morning I went and got her at 6:30am as she had already been crying for about an hour. She had been fed at 4am so I knew she wasn't hungry when she woke up at 5:30, but she just didn't want to go back to sleep. I know part of the problem is I have not been consistent, but I plan on being consistent from now on with not letting her get up for the day too early. I am also making sure she doesn't go down as early at night. Last night I put her down at 7pm for example.

I'm glad tomorrow is the only day I am going to work this week, and I am looking forward to spending time with our families on Wednesday and Thursday! Wed. morning we are getting our photos taken. I trimmed her nails again this morning so that hopefully she won't scratch her face between now and then, and I hope she SMILES for the photographer!! I was torn where to get them done. The photos were cheaper at Walmart, and I like some of the size options better, but I think the quality was better at Sears. We are going to a different Sears this time. I think it really comes down to the photographer; so hopefully we'll have a good one Wednesday morning! Paul is going to wear a long sleeve black collared knit shirt, I am going to wear a long sleeve red sweater, and Nadia is going to wear a short sleeved dress that is black on top and then has a Christmas plaid the rest of the way down. I think I'll have her wear red tights and black patent shoes as well. I love dressing my little doll baby up!!! In this last photo she's wearing a size 9 month sleeper and the sleeves don't even need to be rolled! She now weighs a little over 14 lbs.

9 Days Off

Paul has 9 days off for Thanksgiving (5 school days plus 2 weekends). How awesome is that! Often it seems like we are just passing Nadia off between the two of us and not having much time together especially since I go to bed and get up even earlier these days. He's awake when I go to sleep, and he's asleep when I am up in the morning. Allison's suggestion has been helpful. I've been letting Nadia's last nap take place later in the day which has helped shift her bedtime a little later. I need to keep working on that, but at least we're going in the right direction. Friday night was not a good night sleep wise. She kept waking up every 2 hours. When she woke up 2 hours after I put her down, I let her cry herself to sleep. When she woke 2 hours after that, I fed her since it had been 4 hours since I put her down. Then the same pattern continued where I let her cry the next time she woke up and then fed her the time after that.

Thankfully last night was a great night. We had dinner at Dave & Jen's house. Dave was Paul's advisor at Bucknell. Nadia fell asleep around 7pm in my arms while we were eating, and although she woke up briefly when I put her in her crib once we got home, she didn't wake up for a feeding until 2:45am!! That was awesome to have a one feeding night as the next time she got up was 6:15am. Although she still has some fussy times, she's been really good "in public" the last few days. Pop Pop (Paul's dad) said she was "an angel" when they watched her here at our house on Friday afternoon while I was conducting interviews. She was very, very good last night when we were with Dave, Jen and their 3 year old son, and she was very, very good in church this morning. I wish I could always have my little girl sleeping on me during church. It's the best feeling, but I know she'll be outgrowing that sooner than I would like.

First Snow

Well there has been a little snow here and there over the last few weeks, but at least at our house this is the first snow. Today was also Nadia's first time touching snow. I just opened our patio door and reached down and put some snow on her hand. She doesn't own a snowsuit or a coat for that matter (just a sweater and a hoodie) so she couldn't really sit outside in the snow, but it's not like she's old enough to enjoy it yet anyhow. Her Grandma is going to buy her a snowsuit; she's already gone shopping for one, but we aren't sure what size to buy. So when we go to Sears on Wed morning to get our family Christmas photo taken, we're going to have her try on a snowsuit or two so we know what size she should get.

In light of the snow, I decided not to go to the grant meeting especially since I would have been on the road for over 200 miles. I admit I am a chicken when it comes to driving in snow, sleet, or ice. I decided it was better to stay home than to take a chance on getting in an accident. Maybe if I had four wheel drive it would be different. I called Paul's parents to let them know as I was going to meet them at 8:15 at a McD's near the hospital where Paul's mom had her radiation treatment this morning. They should still get to see Nadia this week as they're supposed to come up around 1pm tomorrow so that I can make a 2nd trip to work for interviews. If the roads look okay later today, I might venture 10 minutes away to the frame shop as the guy called on Monday to say the pieces are ready to be picked up (cross stitch my sister made and one of my Grandmother's paintings).

From Nov 22 to Jan 11, I think I will only be making 6 trips to work - 3 for my 8am class and 3 for my Tues pm class (that includes the final exam). That is a very happy thought!!! I will need to prepare for my spring classes during that time (including one I've never taught before), but other than that I hope to be able to spend lots of time with my sweet little girl.

It's so easy!

Well Nadia has mastered the art of rolling over from her belly to her back. She now does it almost as soon as I get her on her belly. Rolling over from her back to her belly is still only done on rare occasions as for one thing she doesn't like being on her belly - so why should she roll that way?

I'm also happy to report that it's 5pm, and Nadia has only had 2 ounces of formula today (while I was teaching to supplement the 4 ounces I pumped last night). That's a BIG improvement. She has nursed much better today which is a big relief as lately she seemed to be showing a preference for the bottle. Well I'm sure she'll have lots of formula tomorrow, but that's because I'll be gone for 8 hours during the day. I looked for directions to my meeting tomorrow, and it's a little over 100 miles away (one way). It's going to be a longgg day. Hopefully the roads will be fine (in terms of snow).

Babywise revisited

It seems most people have a strong opinion about Babywise (if they're familiar with it) - either they think it's GREAT or they think it's AWFUL. I used to spend time on discussion boards, but since having Nadia I have stopped visiting any. I had to cut something out, and I would rather keep reading blogs than db's. Well I recently was invited to join "Circle of Moms" on Facebook, and I haven't spent time on it, but this morning I saw a post (as they sent a summary to my email) on sleeping through the night so I went and read the thread. MANY people responded and of course the usual books were mentioned by different people - Dr. Sears, Ferber, Babywise, Weissbluth, etc. and some people were again really in favor of Babywise and other cry it out methods and others posted that such methods are unhealthy for the child, etc.

I would say I am more neutral on the topic than most people seem to be. I gave it a try with Nadia. One thing I couldn't find in the book was how long to let her cry. When I read of someone letting their baby cry 5 hours, I think that's way too long. I could never let Nadia cry for 5 hours straight without trying to calm her down. Weissbluth says for a nap to let them cry at the most 1 hour. From ages 5-12 months he says there is no limit to how long you let them cry during the night. Of course all of this is assuming that baby's needs have been met (not hungry, not sitting in a poopy diaper, not sick, etc.). For ages 5-12 months Weissbluth recommends a bedtime between 6-8pm and a morning get up time of 7am (6am at the very earliest). He says that some babies need to be fed at most 2 times during that 12 hour stretch such as say midnight and 5am or something like that, but he says by 9 months old at the latest they should be able to go the whole 12 hours without any feedings. So that has been my current plan with Nadia is to make her go at least 4 hours at night in between feedings and to keep working towards 1 feeding and then eventually (by 9 months at the latest) no nighttime feedings.

If "sleeping through the night" means having one stretch of at least 5-7 hours, then she's been doing that most nights (of course not every night) since she was about 12 weeks old. When she was that young her bedtime was later so it felt more like she was sleeping through the night, but now that her bedtime has been earlier it hasn't felt that way to me, but technically she has been. Allison wisely suggested that I let Nadia have another nap at say 5pm and that would help push her bedtime back to 8pm instead of 6pm. Last night Paul let her have one last nap around 4pm so she didn't go to bed until 7:15pm. Unfortunately she had a poopy diaper a couple of hours later so last night wasn't a good example of having a nice long stretch. However, I am hopeful that if we can put her to bed later that she won't think 4:00am is the time to get up for the day. Yesterday when she woke up early I did nurse her but then she slept until 7:30 so that was pretty good. This morning she woke up at 5:40 and since I was leaving for work I decided to let her get up then so I would be able to nurse her. I think that's part of the problem. I know consistency is important. I want her to sleep in until 6 or preferrably 7am on T, Th, Sat, and Sundays but I don't mind when she gets up earlier than that on MWF as I prefer to nurse her before I leave rather than pump. So I really don't think we can work on this wake up time until the semester is over as then I can be consistent about not letting her get up before 6am, and I think I will shift that to not letting her get up until 7am if her bedtime is shifted to 7 or 8pm.

Anyhow it's not that I was opposed to Babywise when I read it, but it just didn't seem to work for Nadia. Maybe it was because she was premature and I was so worried about her gaining weight. I was scolded for letting her cry in the NICU as that would burn too many calories. I was encouraged to do demand feeding since we had to work so hard to get her to gain weight. As long as it took her to get back to her birth weight, technically she should have been labeled with "failure to thrive." Let me tell you I am VERY glad her pediatrician didn't use those words with me even though she fit the definition. If she had used those words, I am almost positive I would have given up completely on nursing. So I am glad no one used that label. I think it also had to do with her being rather fussy for awhile there - almost colicky. When I tried to let her cry to sleep instead of nursing her to sleep she would cry for an hour or more and still not go to sleep, and then she would be so worked up it would take me a long time to get her calmed down. Being overly tired makes it harder for little ones to sleep, and so it was a vicous cycle. She was getting almost no sleep during the day and not that much at night either. That was why I gave up on trying to follow Babywise awhile back. However, if we have another baby, I might try it again. I'm not opposed to it, but when Nadia was smaller it didn't seem to be what was best for us.

However, now I actually do follow some of the practices recommended by Babywise, Weissbluth, and others. For example, I carefully watch the clock but I also carefully watch Nadia. I have in mind based upon the clock when each nap time will start, but I adjust that in either direction based on her behavior. I look for things like yawns, rubbing her eyes, etc. as the signals to guide me, and nap times are now 90% of the time a breeze. Sometimes she doesn't cry at all. Most of the time it seems she feels the need to cry for at least a few seconds. It cracks me up as sometimes she really starts in a loud scream (not a little whimper) but by the time I have walked from her crib to the door of her bedroom she has already stopped crying. Rarely does she cry more than 3 minutes these days...except for when her schedule gets all messed up like yesterday when I went to the dentist. The same goes for when she is put down at night. I would say at least 90% of the time she puts herself to sleep these days, and 10% or less of the time she is nursed or rocked to sleep at any time of day or night. Her favorite way to soothe herself is to suck her thumb. She cries for a few seconds and then pops her thumb in her mouth and starts sucking away. It's sooo cute. Yay for thumbs! The only time she cries for an extended period of time is at night when she wakes up 2 hours after she has just been fed, and I just let her cry. Hopefully in the next few weeks that will stop being an issue as it is hard for me to listen to her cry that long, but I know she can go longer than 2 hours without being fed.

13 Pounds

Last night Nadia slept from 6pm to 1:30am, and then she woke up about 4:15am. I let her cry as that was only a little more than 2 hours after I finished nursing her. I am not sure how long she cried, but the next time I was aware of her crying (5:40), I went and got her and nursed her in our bed and then she slept another hour after I finished nursing her. I think it would help if she went to bed a little later. Any suggestions? She gets tired around 5pm, but we try to keep her up until 6pm. I really think she could just have one feeding a night if she'd go down a little later. I was talking to a friend in handbells who has an 8 month old, and she said she was told babies don't usually sleep through the night until they are at least 13 lbs so she thought it made sense Nadia hadn't been sleeping through the night previously. Her baby was over 10 lbs at birth so she was sleeping through the night by the time she was 3 months old. I guess that means Nadia's getting big enough now though. Well for now I'd just like to work on eliminating the second feeding.

Diaper Duty

While I was pregnant when I brought up the topic of diaper duty, Paul didn't even want to think about it or talk about it. I said well at least when you're watching Nadia while I'm teaching on Tuesday nights you will have to change her diaper! His first experience changing any diaper came in June in the NICU with Nadia. He actually changed one of her diapers before I did. I figured he needed the practice more than I did, LOL. Well since that point he hasn't complained about changing her diapers. She's been kind enough to time her poopy diapers so that Mommy has changed almost all of them. In fact I don't think he's changed a poopy diaper on his own yet although a couple of times when she had a HUGE one, he did help me out. Anyhow this weekend I heard him say something I never thought he'd say. I took Nadia upstairs to change her diaper. I didn't think to ask him to do it as I figure the only diapers he'll change are when I'm not home. He said to me when I came down that he would have changed it. He said that he doesn't mind changing wet diapers. The way he said it made me think he really wished he had changed her diaper - like he had missed out on something he wanted to do. Wow! I never would have thought he'd feel that way about changing a diaper. I don't expect he'll ever want to change any poopy ones when I'm available, but then again, who really does like changing those??? So I say way to go, Paul! He's such a great Daddy; he even seems to enjoy changing wet diapers. Amazing!!!

Last night Nadia slept a little over 6 hours the first stretch (from 7:15pm to 1:35pm). So I thought it would be a one feeding night. I should stop assuming that, LOL. She woke up about 4:20am which was only a little more than 2 hours since I finished nursing her. I let her cry a little, but at about 4:40 I went and got her and nursed her in bed awhile. Then I put her back down and she slept 90 more minutes (woke up right as I was leaving at 6:40am). I figured it was good if I nursed her once more before I left. I did pump for 10 minutes also before leaving. I am guessing I need to start pumping more if I want to get my milk supply up as drinking more water isn't doing the trick, and I haven't lost (or gained) weight recently so I don't think the problem is that I'm not eating enough. I really don't like pumping, but if pumping will get my milk supply up so that once the semester is over we can wean her off of formula that would be a good thing. I am kicking myself for throwing away all those $5 coupons I had for Enfamil. I falsely assumed those four cans of Similac would be enough. Nope. I already had to buy one can at full price, and I'd love to not buy many more if at all possible. When I start feeling badly about it though I just remind myself that for the first few weeks of the semester I was paying babysitters $72 a week; buying formula is much cheaper than that.

Ironic

I was thinking about how a few things that I desired in terms of Nadia's behavior in the past are now the opposite of what I desire. One example would be that the first few weeks of her life we had to work so hard to get her to want to eat. In the hospital while I nursed her my mom or Paul (whomever had pushed me in my wheelchair to the NICU), would jiggle her legs and arms and such in a struggle to keep the girl eating. She would rather have just slept. That has not been the case for a LONG time. The girl seems to want to eat ALL the time. Sometimes now I think - Nadia - you already want to eat again? Another example would be how it used to take forever to get her down to sleep at night. If it only took two hours that was a good thing. Now, I have to work to keep her awake! If she had her way, she'd go to bed at 5pm without any tears. I try to keep her up at least until 6pm. It cracks me up that I used to have to work so hard to get her to sleep, and now I have to work to keep her awake, LOL!

Friday night was a very good night. She slept 7 1/2 hours the first stretch so I thought it would be a one feeding night, but then she woke up only about 2 hours after the end of that feeding. I let her cry the first time she woke up (about 4:10am), but then when she woke up again an hour later I caved and went and got her at 5:15am. Mommy really didn't want to get up at 5:15 on a Saturday morning. :-( However that night was better than last night. She went down at 6pm and only slept 4 hours the first stretch, and then she only slept 3 hours the next. I let her cry for 30 minutes, but it wasn't working so I nursed her. I figured I was lying there awake listening to her cry so I would probably get more sleep if I just nursed her. However when she woke up again only an hour later, I let her cry that time. I got her the next time she woke up (6:00am). So at least we are down to two feedings a night, and I am still hoping we can get down to one feeding a night as I think that's all she really needs.

I'll add pics to this post later of Nadia in her dress she wore to church today. It's size 3-6 month and barely fits. She wore her shoes again. I love those shoes!!! I would like to get her some other tights. Before she was born I bought one pack of 3 pairs of white tights at Walmart; one has ruffles on the butt (rhumba tights). I would like to get her some different colored tights to match her different dresses.

Busy Day!

Last night Nadia went to sleep at 7pm and slept until 2:35am. WOOHOO! I nursed her for 30 minutes and thought this will be a one feeding night. Wrong. She woke up at 5:10am only 2 hours later. I was going to just let her cry a little so she could stay in bed until at least 6am as I know she can go longer than 2 hours between feedings, but since I was going to be away so much today, I decided I wanted to nurse her again. So I nursed her until 5:40 and put her back to bed. She slept until 7:30 so she got a little more than 11 hours of sleep last night! :-)

I left for work at 6:40am and spent about 30 minutes making copies of paperwork for the interviews. Then after I taught I drove home. Nadia was in the middle of her first 45 minute nap. After she woke up I fed her and then we headed to the grocery store. I used the Snugli for the first time. She liked facing out and seeing everything, and I liked having two hands free. She's outgrown the sling (at least the one I have). She started to fall asleep on the way home so I nursed her just a few minutes before putting her down for her 2nd 45 minute nap. While she slept I put away the groceries, made myself a sandwich for lunch, and made a chicken dish for dinner. Paul's parents came at 12:30. The doorbell woke her up. I changed her diaper and nursed her about 10 minutes before it was time for me to leave for work (again). She was unhappy. I assumed it was because I had stopped her lunch before she was done so I made her a bottle. She wouldn't take it. Let me tell you it was very hard for me to leave while she was so unhappy, but I had no choice.

I called on the way to work as I thought I had left the chicken in the oven. Well I had left it in the oven, but I had turned the oven off. So it was sitting uncooked in a cold oven. OOPS! Well that's better than burning it! Paul's mom said she cried about 10 minutes but then they were able to keep her happy if they walked her around the house. I left work earlier than planned as Paul wasn't going to be able to get home until after 6pm. I got home at 4:45 since I skipped the last interviews. I was sooo happy to see my little girl when I got home. I missed her!!! She was cooing and laughing for me. She was happy to see her Mommy. I am glad I'm not normally apart from her that many hours in a day.

I was supposed to go to a concert tonight. I had won a year's worth of free tickets from the local Christian radio station back in April. The first tickets were for the week I was in the hospital with Nadia after she was born. Paul's brother and niece used them instead. Tonight I was going to go with my friend. She called this morning and said something came up and she couldn't go. I haven't seen her in a couple of months. I guess I won't see her much any more now that we've moved. I was really looking to the concert also. She and I usually go to a few concerts a year, but I haven't been to any concerts in 2008. So anyhow I was really bummed as I was looking forward to seeing her and also really looking forward to the concert. These concerts really are a boost to me spiritually and emotionally. I could have gone by myself, but I would have felt really weird. Paul would have gone with me, but then we wouldn't have anyone to stay home with Nadia while she slept (she went down at 6:30pm). I called a couple of people to try to find two other people who wanted the tickets or maybe someone else to go with me, but the tickets just ended up in the trash can. It was too last minute to find someone else who could use them.

I wonder why it seems so awkward to go to something like a concert by yourself? Or maybe it's just me that feels too weird going alone. When I eat dinner alone at a nice restaurant (like when I'm at a conference), I bring a book to read while I eat and then it doesn't bother me as much to eat alone. Eating alone at home hasn't bothered me for years, but when I first moved to PA in 1996 I used to always read the newspaper while I ate dinner as that was a transition for me to eat my meals alone all the time. Of course I usually have company these days when I eat even if she's not exactly eating with me yet except for when I nurse her while I'm eating. :-)

Speaking of my little sweetheart, it was one year ago today that I found out my hCG had doubled (and was over 300). This was SUCH a relief as my hCG didn't go up properly with my first pgcy in 2005. I am still sooooo very thankful for our little miracle! Yes, sometimes I feel lonely as I go months without doing some like going out to lunch with a friend (and who knows it might be years until that happens again as I don't know anyone in our new area), but if I had to pick between having a close female friend or two to get together with now and then or a daughter - I'd pick a daughter any day of the week!!! Well speaking of my girl, since I'm not going to the concert I think I'll pump and go to bed. It's rare I stay up past 8pm these days. Once she starts sleeping through the night I'll probably shift back towards what used to be my usual bedtime of 9:30pm.

Mommy's Coming

I think the cognitive development that occurs in very young children within such a short time period is just downright amazing. Language development is the most profound. I look forward to discovering what words are in her receptive vocabulary and then later hearing her use more and more new words in her expressive vocabulary. Even in these four months I have seen evidences of her cognitive development in terms of things such as cause and effect. One example would be that for the last couple of months if I say "Mommy's coming" when I hear her stirring in her crib, then usually as long as I don't dilly dally (I usually go to the bathroom before I go in to nurse her), she doesn't cry. She knows I'm coming. I'm not saying she understands the words I am saying, I fully realize she just recognizes my voice and has figured out when she hears my voice I'll be there soon. There are many other examples I could give. The first one that I noticed when she was only a few weeks old was that she'd blink when I made a certain sound which I usually made before I kissed her on her cheeks. She was reacting ahead of time to my face coming in close to hers.

Last night was the first test of my plan to only nurse her twice during the night. The other nights she had only awakened twice. Last night she woke up at 2:11am which was only about 2 hours since I had finished nursing her after her first awakening. I let her cry. It was really hard to do as she cried for 40 minutes. I know some of you probably don't agree with my decision. I hadn't let her cry more than 20 minutes in over 2 months. She did fall back asleep eventually and then slept until 4:55am when I was happy to nurse her. She got up for the day at about 6:30am. So she got about 10 hours sleep last night instead of her new usual of 11 hours since she was crying for 40 minutes in there. Hopefully that won't happen often as it was hard for me to hear her cry that long and not go feed her even though I know at 4 1/2 months old she can go longer than 2 hours between feedings.

This morning she took her usual 45 minute nap, and then I took her to the Toyota dealer as I had gotten a notice more than 6 months ago about a recall of some bolts. She was a very good girl while we waited for them to replace the bolts (took more than an hour). I was going to do a little Christmas shopping afterward as the dealership is right beside a mall, but she fell asleep as soon as we got in the car so I didn't have the heart to take her shopping. We went straight home instead and even with me transferring her from the carseat to her crib she slept a total of 90 minutes which was amazing! This afternoon she only had one 45 minute nap so I guess altogether she got the same amount of total sleep from her naps (3 hours).

Well I have 3 more grants to review (17 done thankfully), and I am not going to bed until they're done so I'd better get back to that as I don't want to stay up late. Tomorrow will be a busy day as I'm teaching in the morning and then coming home and then going back for interviews from 1:30-4:40pm (which means I'll be gone from 12:45-5:25). Paul's parents are coming up after his mom's radiation treatment to watch Nadia for me until Paul gets home from school (about 3:45pm). The next 8 days are going to be hectic, but hopefully after that life will calm down some. One thing that will be a challenge is the nursing. It's a challenge to pump at work when I have a meeting that lasts from 1:30-4:40 straight, and it's not like I want to delay my arrival back at home by pumping at the end of the meeting. I am finding that nursing plus working outside the home is a tricky combination. My milk supply is not up to Nadia's needs. Unfortunately she now needs 12 ounces a day of formula. :-( We are already on the last can. So my plan not to buy any more is out the window. Well I just keep reminding myself that she's getting a lot of her milk from me, and that's a good thing. I'm doing the best I can with all I am juggling right now. Hopefully once the semeseter is over I can get my milk supply up as she won't be babysat by others very much at all during that month and only two days a week once the new semeseter begins. I have been drinking a lot more water, but it hasn't seemed to help yet.

E-mail

The first time I really started using email extensively was in 1996 when I moved to PA. I didn't know a single soul and was living alone for the first time (in a 2 bedroom apartment). Prior to that I had lived with two other women in a 3 bedroom townhouse near Annapolis, MD. It was an extremely lonely time as I started working in the summer when of course the teachers and students aren't at school so I was alone at work (except for seeing my secretary a little now and then) and alone at home. I wasn't one for using the phone much, and of course my bill would have been rather high as all the calls would have been long distance. So I started using email, and I loved it. I referred to it as my social life. It really was my only contact with other human beings aside from say the lady scanning my groceries at the store. Well I still really enjoy receiving emails from family and friends although I don't write nearly as many now that I have this blog, and I am much slower to respond since I just don't seem to have the time these days. I do have time to read them though. :-)

Well my feeling toward work email is getting more and more negative. I almost want to say it's sort of a love/hate thing, but I know "hate" is such a strong word to use. Yet I fully realize it's a necessary evil. For example, as chair of the search and screen committee I have written MANY emails the last couple of weeks as I've been trying to find volunteers to pick candidates up from the airport, take them to meals, etc. Also right now students are scheduling so I am getting many emails from advisees, and in actuality it is good that a lot of communication can take place by email so that I don't need to meet with all (I think about 80) of them in person every semester. However I don't like how much of my time work email consumes every week. I would say on an average day I receive 50 emails, and I do mean seven days a week. Sunday afternoon I checked my email, but then I didn't check it later that day and Monday morning I was greeted by so many emails because I had gone "too long" without checking it. It feels like I can never get ahead. Yesterday I had gotten up to date before I headed to work at 3pm, but when I got home at 8:15pm and checked my email, my box had filled up again. I started replying to the messages, but while I was answering them more came in. It's very frustrating! Well the semester will be over soon, and the flow of email will slow down during those weeks we have off in between semesters.

I am happy to say that we have now had 4 good nights in a row. We haven't had another 8 hour stretch like we did a few days ago, but we are down to 2 feedings a night, and Nadia is now sleeping 11 hours total instead of 10. She has been getting tired rather early. I'd rather her bedtime be around 7pm, but she's been wanting to go to bed closer to 6pm lately. That's fine for now since I get up early for work, but once the semester is over I am going to work with pushing that back as Mommy would like to sleep in a bit more (7am sounds heavenly). The early bedtime does work well for Paul as on Monday I put her down at 6pm before heading to handbells, and last night it helped as he put her down at 6:15 and got back to grading papers. Last night she woke up at 10:30pm for her first feeding and 4:30am for her second feeding. The only problem has been that I have been pumping when I get home (since she's already in bed), but then if she wakes up that early I haven't had quite enough milk for her since less than 2 hours have passed so I've nursed her and then given some bottle at the first feeding. I am used to ALL night time feedings just being nursing. This morning she was WIDE awake at 4:30; when I went in to feed her, she squealed with delight and started cooing. I put her down at 5:00 expecting her to cry, but surprisingly she didn't. When Paul went in to get her at 6:15 she was cooing away. I find it hard to believe she was awake (and happy) that whole time, but who knows. We are sticking with the rule that she can't get up for the day until at least 6am (and like I said eventually I want that to be 7am).

Sunday afternoon and Tuesday afternoon she also took one long afternoon nap instead of two short ones. The total length was actually longer than what the two put together used to be. So I think that's a good change as well. The 2 morning naps are still short (usually 45 minutes but sometimes only 30). Hopefully eventually she'll take one longer morning nap also. I am just glad she is done with the growth spurt or whatever was causing the night time sleeping problems. Really she just changed on her own back to sleeping better. We haven't had to let her cry very much at all. She still usually cries when she goes down for a nap, but often it's less than 5 minutes.

My dad is in Romania this week. He flew over on Monday and comes back on Sunday. I'd appreciate prayers for his safety!

20 Weeks Old!

I have switched to celebrating her age by months not weeks, but 20 sounds like a big milestone so I thought I'd commemorate it today by reflecting on a few of the more subtle ways our lives have changed. I guess it's sort of "you know you're a mommy..." type post.

1. When saying your husband's first name sounds funny because 99% of the time you now refer to him as "Daddy"
2. Ditto goes for hearing your own first name. (I am usually referred to as Dr. Kennedy at work and Mommy at home.)
3. When you go to bed at 7:30pm in the hope that maybe that is early enough to get 8 hours of sleep total before 5:45am when it's time to get up for work.
4. When you look in the rearview mirror and feel sad that the car seat is empty even though when the baby is in it she often cries.
5. When you can't recall the last time you pushed a shopping cart with two hands. (Today I was pushing a stroller with one hand and holding two large pizzas in the other hand, LOL).
6. When songs like "Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow" run through your head at various moments in the day.
7. When it feels strange to sit in church without a baby sleeping on your shoulder.
8. When you stop toasting your bagel for breakfast and start eating it cold every morning because toasting a bagel means baby will be screaming while she waits to be nursed.
9. When you refer to yourself in the third person all the time (Mommy).
10. When you get up in the night multiple times no matter what - either to nurse a crying baby or to check on a quietly sleeping one to make sure she's okay.
11. When you check the clock a million times a day to calculate how long baby has slept (for a nap or at night) and when is the next time to try to get her down for the next nap.
12. When you try to accomplish as much as is humanly possible in that precious 45 minutes while she naps.
13. When a smile or laughter or sweet cooing sounds from a baby just make your day.
14. When it becomes hard to go to sleep at night even though you're really tired just because your mind is going a million miles an hour.
15. When you are no longer able to sit down and read a novel because again your mind is going a million miles an hour with all you need to accomplish. (I haven't read a book in 3 months which is sooo rare for me, and I tried to read at Walmart while waiting for my oil change and just found I couldn't do it). I guess it's "Mommy brain" syndrome, LOL!
16. When you are constantly celebrating "firsts" like the first time pushing your daughter in a stroller and are also constantly looking forward to other firsts like the first time she'll taste a certain food.
17. When you take on average about 30 pictures a day (thank goodness for digital cameras!).
18. When you switch to referring to your parents as "Grandma" and "Grandpa" instead of "Mom" and "Dad" and your sisters as "Aunt" etc.
19. When you find yourself making up little songs all the time.
20. When the book you find yourself reading every day features an elephant named "Trumpety Humpety."

Mommy loves you, Nadia! I am sooooooooo grateful to have been a Mommy these past 20 weeks, and I look forward to many more weeks, months, and years as her Mommy in the future!

Eight hours!

Last night I put Nadia down at 6:45 pm and she slept until 2:45am - 8 hours straight without a peep! Paul went and checked on her sometime in the middle of that just to make sure she was still breathing. I was up a lot because my body wasn't used to go that long lately w/o nursing so I was in pain. So even though she slept Mommy & Daddy still didn't sleep, LOL. No really I am not complaining as I got far more sleep than usual, and I know my body will adjust and slow down the milk production at night once this becomes a pattern. I nursed her until 3:20, and she went down easily. Then she woke up only a little more than an hour later. I resisted the urge to go rescue her (which was a challenge for me!) and thankfully she didn't cry too long (maybe 10 minutes?) before she fell back asleep. Then she slept until 6:30am!! So she slept almost 11 hours total. Way to go, Nadia!!! The first part wasn't due to me doing anything differently (the first 8 hour stretch) but the next 3 hours were in part since I changed my ways and didn't go nurse her when she woke up only 1 hour after I had just finished feeding her. I am very, very, very glad we've had two good nights in a row! Yesterday she also had one really good nap (1 hour and 45 minutes long) which was awesome as mostly her naps are all 45 minutes long and sometimes as short as 30 minutes.

Her cooing is getting louder and some consonants are being added into the mix. The one I hear the most is "g." Sometimes she really talks up a storm for quite a few minutes! I'm posting another video on youtube of her "talking" with Mommy. Last night I had her laughing for a REALLY long time. It was the longest and loudest she ever laughed (several minutes off & on of laughing). ho

When Nadia wakes up I need to practice my flute as I'm playing with the handbells tonight, and I discovered one of the songs is too difficult to sightread. We'll see what she thinks of the flute. She definitely likes the piano. I play the piano FAR more these days as it's always a way to calm her down and keep her happy if she's in a fussy mood. She'll sit on my lap for a very long time while I play the piano. This is going to be a busy week as I need to review 20 grant applications by noon on Friday, and I have interviews on Friday afternoon (Grandma will come babysit while I go to those).

I haven't weighed myself lately, but I think I'm still losing weight. I noticed my size 12 jean skirt was getting rather loose, so I tried on my size 10 one and it fits. Yahoo for progress! I still have more weight to lose though that is for sure. There are plenty of clothes that still don't fit yet. Speaking of sizes, Nadia's shoes are size one. They stayed on her feet on the way to church and at church and fell off in her car seat on the way home. I agree, Jo, that I never have her wear shoes with her socks, but to me she looked funny with tights on and no shoes. I love those little black patent shoes!!! :-)

She SLEPT!

Last night was soooooo much better. What a difference from Friday night which was such an awful night. Last night she went down at 7:30pm and woke up at 8:30, but I didn't go get her and she fell back asleep after crying about 10 minutes. Then she slept until 2:15am WOOHOO! I nursed her for 30 minutes and then she slept until 5:15am. I nursed her for 30 minutes, and then after she cried for 20 minutes I went and got her, and she nursed and then played in our bed for 40 minutes. Then I put her back down at 6:45 and she slept another hour! So she slept 10 hours altogether which used to be her norm. On a normal work day I would have considered that a "one feeding" night as I usually get up around 5:45am anyhow.

To respond to the comments, I do keep the lights off in her room when I nurse her during the night. The first couple of months I did change her diaper a lot at night, but she pooped all the time back then. The last couple of months I either don't change it at all during the night, or I change it only once. I don't give her any eye contact either. I try to just nurse her and get her back to sleep within 30 minutes. Only on rare occasions the last month or so have I allowed her to nurse more than 30 minutes (about 40 minutes max). Sometimes she only needs 20 minutes. I usually put her down after 30 minutes ; most of the time she goes down without crying, but sometimes this means she cries for 3-5 minutes before she goes back to sleep. Usually I have been letting her cry if she wakes up less than 2 hours later, but Friday night I didn't go by that "rule" which was my mistake as it led to very, very little sleep for me that night. I need to stick with the plan of not nursing her so many times in a night, and hopefully in time she won't wake up so many times. What a difference a good night of sleep makes! I felt so "on the edge" emotionally yesterday.

Today she's wearing a new dress. Before I knew Grandma was buying her some new clothes, I had started bidding on some dresses on eBay as she only had one dress size 3-6 months. Her 3 new dresses arrived in the mail last week - two size 3-6 months and one size 6-9 months. The dress she's wearing today is the 6-9 month sized one. It fits! My little girl is growing up TOO fast!! Four months ago she was wearing preemie size and even newborn size was too big!!! Now 3-6 month pants are still too big, but 3-6 month dresses and sleepers are getting snug already. So she's wearing some 0-3, some 3-6 and some 6-9 month clothing. She won't be wearing 0-3 month pants for long though as they are getting rather tight around her waist. The one thing that never fits her in any size are the sleeves. She has short arms! I thought she looked SO cute this morning. It was her first time wearing shoes, and they were oh so very cute black patent shoes. They made her look so grown up though which I wasn't sure I liked! I love dressing up my doll baby! ;-)

Tired

I am really tired; I need Nadia to sleep more at night. I guess I have to let her cry more and not nurse her every time she wakes up??? With the exception of today (she's only taken two 30 minute naps today), she's napping well during the day (albeit 99% of her naps are 45 minutes long), and the first stretch is usually 4-5 hours long, but since I don't usually go to bed right at the same time she does, my longest stretch is usually only 3-4 hours. Last night she went to bed at 7:45, and I went to bed at 9:00 for example. She woke up at 12:30, 2:30, 3:15 (I changed her diaper and nursed her for only 15 minutes since she had only been down for 15 minutes), 4:45, and I let her get up for the day at 6:00. She wanted to get up earlier than that so she had cried off/on from 5:15-6:00. Her night sleeping just keeps getting worse. We went from 1 feeding a night to 2 to now 3 or more. I have been trying to nap during some of her naps, but that's also my only chance to get some other stuff done. I expected to be sleep deprived the first few weeks. I did not expect that I would go more than 4 months with only a few good nights of sleep.

This was one of the reasons I wanted to start her on solid foods; people had told me that their babies started sleeping through the night when they started giving them rice cereal. I haven't given Nadia any rice cereal for a few days now. I have given her a taste of banana now and then, and she definitely likes bananas. So maybe whenever I try the rice cereal again she'll have an easier time with her tongue as hopefully she's starting to learn how to use her tongue to eat solid foods. This morning she rolled over from her tummy to her back, so I've now seen her roll unassisted in both directions. Good job, Nadia! My mom was interested in seeing the rattle shaking video. She's not smiling or cooing so I don't think it's nearly as nice as the other ones, but it does show her new ability to hold a rattle.

 

Rolled Over!

Well Nadia "accidently" rolled over when she was just a couple of weeks old. I didn't count that as her first time rolling over. She's come oh so close many, many times over the last few months. In my mind today was her first day of rolling over. I was thinking usually they roll from their tummies to their backs first? Well Nadia rolled over from her back to her tummy three times today. Unfortunately they were not happy moments. Twice this happened in her crib when she was having trouble going to sleep for naps (although I am happy to say right now she is taking her 4th nap in her crib today - every nap has been 45 minutes long thus far). Another time I was making a cake for our dinner guests. I tried putting her in various places so I could have 5 minutes to cook (ex. the bouncer, her high chair, etc.) and nothing pleased her. So I put her in the gym and let her cry as I couldn't hold her while putting a cake in the oven. Well when I came back to get her, I found her on her belly on the hardwood floor. I felt badly as I had left her on her back on a quilt on the floor (under the gym that used to be in my office). We shall see when she'll make it all the way over from tummy to back. She gets really close but hasn't gone all the way - at least I've not witnessed it. Another milestone for Nadia would be that she is enjoying rattles now. She'll hold on and wave the little toys all around. I took a little video of it, but it's probably rather boring to anyone but me so I didn't post it.

The weather the past 10 days or so has been GORGEOUS. Cracks me up that right before that in some places around here (although not right at our house) there was snow! It seems we've gone from one extreme to the other. Today it was about 70 degrees - in NOVEMBER! Wow! I love it!!! I wish I had thought of this earlier in the week, but today Nadia and I had fun outdoors. We sat on the glider on the back porch, I helped her go down the slide a few times on her swing set, and then I put her in her stroller and took her on a glorious walk around the neighborhood. I was wearing a t-shirt and very comfortable. Unbelievable!!! I wish this was the norm, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts. :-) I've noticed Nadia likes going outside. Sometimes at our old house I'd take her out to get the mail (which was a long trek) to calm her when she was upset. She seemed to enjoy our walk and her time outside today. I even sat her in the grass and had her touch the grass with her hands and she didn't seem to mind at all, whereas I know some babies don't like the feel of grass. I think she & I will be spending a lot of time outside together next spring and summer. I can get my exercise by taking her on walks which is more fun than doing aerobics inside the house (not that I've gotten going with that yet). Of course we'll have to buy a wading pool for her for our deck! What fun we will have!!!

This afternoon there was a faculty mtg at school. I skipped it. I was so frustrated last time to invest 3 hours of my time for a 30 minute meeting. Also, I need to go the next two Fridays for interviews. I am the chair of the search & screen committee, and we're interviewing 10 candidates over the next 2 weeks. So I figured I'd take this Friday afternoon off.

Dress up!

Right now I have fun dressing Nadia up, but I think some day she'll have fun getting dressed up herself. I decided to check out the Halloween clearance section at Walmart. The sleeper I got Nadia was now marked down, but they only had those footed sleepers up to size 9 months, and really she has plenty of sleepers up to that size (although I don't think she has anything bigger than that yet). They were so cute I thought they really could be worn any time of year not just Halloween. I looked at the other costumes, but I have no idea what Nadia will want to be next year. Then it hit me that I could use this as a chance to get started on her collection of dress up clothes. So I bought one long blonde wig that is for children and a Snow White dress (size 3T/4T). I know Snow White doesn't have blonde hair, LOL. They had the dress as small as size 18 months, but I decided to get it a bit bigger so it will last longer especially since the skirt part wasn't really that long to begin with (knee length not floor length). Most girls like to dress up like a princess so I hope she enjoys this costume some day! ;-) I also bought her her first pair of back patent shoes. Those are for dressing her up now. I thought it looked funny on Sunday with tights and no shoes. We shall see if the shoes stay on or not, LOL!

Reading to Nadia has been a lot more fun the last few weeks. Earlier she wasn't looking at the book when we were reading to her. Now she studies the pages intently. Paul thinks her two favorite books right now are Mr. Brown Can MOO! Can You? by Dr. Seuss and an elephant book about "Trumpety Humpety." I've been playing different CD's with her and she seems to really like "Sweetly Sings the Donkey" especially when Mommy does the "Hee Haw" part, LOL. I now have the funniest songs going through my head at various points in the day such as "Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow" - a song I don't ever remember even hearing before, ha ha! Well speaking of my girl - time to go read, sing, and play with her!

Daddy Time

Well a definite perk of the fact I am still working part-time (aside from the paycheck and health insurance, LOL) would be that Nadia gets more time with her Daddy. There are just twelve more days when I'll be teaching at 8am this semester as including this week there are 5 weeks left, but one of those is a short week due to Thanksgiving. I am not going to miss making sure I'm in the car by 6:40am, but I am sad that Nadia won't get that time with Daddy MWF morning. I'm gone for 3 hours those mornings, and he plays with her for usually about 2 hours of that time. He reads books to her, plays with her in her gym (tummy time and such), plays the piano with her (and he doesn't know how to really play himself, LOL), and of course has math time with her every day. She focuses on him so intently while he teaches her how to count. I had to get a picture of that so I won't forget how Daddy was working on her math skills when she was even only 3-4 months old. Paul loves Nadia soo much. She is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful father!!! She'll still get time with Daddy in the spring, but I'll only be teaching two days a week instead of four (which will help cut down our gas bill).

Last night was better as Nadia slept 6 hours the first stretch and then 2 hours each the next two so at least we were down to two feedings, and since each was only about 20-25 minutes long that also helped. She slept ten hours total which was good (7:15pm -6:00am with about 45 minutes of being up for feedings/diaper changing). It was a good step in the right direction, and I hope tonight the trend continues!

Vegetables

The advice some of you gave to introduce all veggies before any fruits makes total sense. I am surprised her doctor didn't say that and also that it wasn't mentioned in the literature I was reading on introducing foods. The doctor only said to wait 5 days before introducing each new food and to only introduce fruits, veggies, and cereal in the next 2 months. She also mentioned fruit juices, but I will not be introducing those in that time frame. Eating fruit is better than drinking it. I had read to wait on corn until at least 6 months. So am I forgetting any veggies? I am planning on introducing peas, carrots, green beans, sweet potatoes, and squash in the coming weeks (one at a time of course). I am planning to make the peas, carrots, and green beans from frozen veggies and the sweet potatoes and squash from fresh veggies. I'll make them and then freeeze them in an ice cube tray and then after they're frozen put the cubes of baby food into a freezer bag. Then once she's had all of those then I'll start on apples, bananas, etc.

Thinking about veggies makes me wonder how we'll handle these once she's eating table foods. Unfortunately Paul & I are not the best role models when it comes to eating veggies. Do I make veggies for her that Paul & I don't eat? Do I make myself eat them to be a good role model even though I don't like them? Hmmmmm well we have a little time to figure that out as Mommy and Daddy don't eat baby food. :-) Paul's mom fed her some rice cereal last night, and she mixed in a little formula and that made a big difference in terms of Nadia's reaction although of course she's still learning how to use her tongue when eating solid foods. I tried to do the same this morning, but she made the same faces (grimmacing) for me that she made yesterday.

Nadia was very quiet most of the time Paul's parents were with us last night. We kept trying to get her to talk (coo), but she was silent until close to the time they left. Of course we were happy that she wasn't crying while we were at Applebee's. She was a good little girl. :-) We were celebrating Paul's mom's bday, but she was the one who came bearing gifts. I'll post pics later first of all the beautiful clothes Nadia received and also of her wearing her new red dress. I asked for sizes 3-6 and 6-9 month dresses for Nadia for Christmas. I should change that to only size 6-9 months because the 3-6 month dress was just barely long enough so she won't be in that size for long in terms of dresses. Grandma loves Nadia!!!

I am very perplexed about the sleeping situation. At 12 weeks old she was doing great at night (only one feeding a night and sleeping 10 hours total on average), but naps were a struggle and almost none were taken in the crib. Now naps are usually a breeze in her crib as long as we get her down after she's been up for 90 minutes. Right now she's taking her third nap that she's had in her crib today, and it will probably be her last as we try to keep her up for a longer period of time prior to bedtime. The first two naps were 45 minutes each, and really this is her 4th nap as she took a 45 minute nap in my arms during church (that felt so great - it's nice to have her still nap in my arms every now and then!!!!). I am not sure how long she would have slept yesterday afternoon. I woke her up after she had been asleep for 2 hours (at 3:15) as I wanted to nurse her before Paul's parents showed up, plus I didn't want her to sleep "too long" although I am not sure exactly what is "too long" as I haven't had to deal with that since naps are amost always only 45 minutes long. Anyhow the bottom line is that naps are going WELL these days but now night time sleep is regressing. Last night the longest stretch was 3 hours, but since I didn't go to bed at 7pm when she did, my longest stretch was 2 hours. :-( She did sleep 9 hours total so I'm still getting more sleep than when she was a newborn, but I know at 4 months old she should not be getting up so many times in the night. Any suggestions what to do if she doesn't start going back in the right direction on her own? I really want to get back to one feeding a night. Last night there were 3 feedings and then she was up for the day at 6:30. I was relieved though that her day didn't start until 6:30am (new time) as I was fearing it might start at 4:30am in light of the time change.

Yahoo!!!

I just had to say that Nadia is sleeping right now in her crib, and she's now been asleep for a little more than one hour. YAHOOO! She has been MUCH better lately about taking naps in her crib. My goal is to put her down 3-4 times a day for naps. Usually she cries only about 5 minutes now and the longest is about 18 minutes. I pick her up and try to help her get to sleep if she cries 20 minutes, but thankfully that is very rare nowadays. However we have still been stuck at 45 minute naps most of the time. Her first nap this morning (I put her down a little after 8am since she got up at 6:30 this morning) was only 45 minutes. So I am really happy this nap is lasting longer! Really this is such BIG progress for her to be taking naps in the crib. I know some books advocate allowing the baby to cry for up to one hour, but I haven't tried that for a couple of months, and so I am happy that she has learned how to take naps w/o experiencing such long crying spells. Now we just need to get her first stretch at night back to 6-9 hours like it was for awhile there. Mommy misses those! Eventually of course it would be nice if she'd sleep through the night, but right now I'd be happy to get back to just ONE feeding a night as we've been back to two or more, and I'm pooped!

One Year Ago

November 1, 2007 was the day my little sweetheart was thawed (went from negative 196 degrees Celsius to room temperature), put in a few different solutions to remove the cryoprotectant, warmed to body temperature, put in a culture medium, and finally sent through a catheter into her Mommy's womb. What a miracle!!! As I've said before, it's actually more than I can really wrap my brain around. It seems a little too much like science fiction for me, but that's okay. I don't need to understand it!!! I am just thrilled that God enabled her to survive the thawing process, implant into my uterus, and grow, grow, grow! Most places list the success rate of FET as 15-20% and that's when multiple embryos are transferred. She was our only one to make it to the freezing stage so this again shows what a miracle it was to give birth 7+ months later.

A couple of weeks ago I read about a BFP announcement from someone who was on bcp (and didn't miss any pills). In general, bfps have been much less painful for me than they were before Nadia came into our lives, but I have to admit there was still a bit of an OUCH with this one in light of the fact that they were trying NOT to have another baby quite yet (they have a daughter who is about 18 months old). The thought of "accidently" getting pg is just totally foreign to me. I can't relate at all. The 3 times I have been pg (I consider the time after my fresh transfer in August 2007 to be my 2nd pgcy) have all been after many shots, ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc. It's definitely not a "how did this happen" type situation when nurses, doctors, androglogists, etc are involved, LOL! I went off the bcp in May 2002 and yet have never had an "au natural" pgcy. Of course God could work a miracle, but I don't ever expect to be pg without doctors and embryologists being involved even though we never plan to use birth control again. Anyhow it just amazes me that some people take medical steps to prevent getting pg and yet they still get pg whereas others go through all sorts of medical stuff to try to get pg and still don't.

When I am feeling frustrated about how challenging it is for us to have children I am trying to focus on two things #1 that God has blessed us with Nadia when many others in our situation do IVF and still don't ever have a baby and #2 that there are many things I am sure I take for granted in my life that others wish they had such as a blind person wishing they had my vision or a deaf person wishing they had my hearing, etc. Many people take their fertility for granted just as I take my ability to walk for granted. So when I feel that jab of pain in my heart at the reminder that having kids is not so difficult for other people, I will try to focus on all the things I am thankful for such as the ability to see my sweet little girl smile at me. :-) Of course there is a point where the analogies break down as it's not like people take medical measures to prevent their ability to see or hear or walk and still are able to do it even though they didn't think they wanted to....

Well last night we didn't get any trick or treaters! I don't know if they did it a different night and we missed it, or if they don't do it in our neighborhood? I had already opened the bags of candy to be prepared to pass it out last night so I guess Paul and I will be eating it all. I am glad I didn't buy any more than I did, and thankfully I got kinds that we like (Snickers, M&Ms w/ peanuts, and Reese's peanut butter cups). Paul was really bummed that we didn't get to show off our Peanut in her costume. That's what we were really looking forward to. Well next year we'll have to ask around to find out what the deal is around here with Halloween. We noticed we were the only ones with our porch light on last night, so we gave up and put Nadia to bed as she was a very tired little bumblebee. Last night was rough. It was the first time in a VERY long time that I passed her off to Paul during the night at one point, but this morning she seems back to her normal self so hopefully the effect of the shots is over.

This morning she had her first solid food! She wasn't sure what to make of it, LOL. Later I put a little of the rice cereal on my finger and put it in her mouth and she took it much better. She wasn't so sure about that spoon. She made such funny faces I was laughing my head off. I have a feeling she'll like fruits better. I will stick with just the cereal for a few more days but then I think I'll either try carrots, green beans, or apples. I plan to make her baby food myself so I need to get going on that! Once she has apples or something I'll probably mix a little in the rice cereal and I think she'll like it better then. She definitely has a sweet tooth as she loves her medicine (like the Tylenol we were giving her for her fever after the shots). The first photo was before she ate any food (her first time wearing the Bjorn, thanks Lucia!) and the others were during/after she ate. As you can see, she wasn't too sure about this rice cereal.

I am a little concerned about the time change tonight. Paul LOVES this day every year. It's like a holiday to him, LOL. I am concerned though as Nadia is already getting up too early! I am going to try to keep her up a bit later tonight to see if that helps her switch times. I honestly don't like this switching our body clocks twice a year. It's always an adjustment for me and now it's going t be trickier with a munchkin. I am curious how long it will be until I get to sleep in until say 7:30. Well frankly at this point 7:00 would be a dream come true. I wonder what age she'll be when Mommy gets to sleep in that "late" for the first time in a long time? This getting up before 6am every day is getting old. To compensate I do give her two morning naps every day. The first one occurs 90-120 minutes after whenever she gets up for the morning.

Next Friday is Paul's mom's bday so we're treating his parents to dinner at Applebee's tonight. I hope she's in a good mood for her Grandma and Grandpa (and all the other people eating at Applebee's tonight, LOL). :-) They wanted to come up to see her last weekend, but we were in MD. I think this is the longest Paul's mom has gone without seeing her. I know she misses her youngest granddaughter! I am so thrilled that Nadia is loved so much by so many people!!!