Commutes

Well I decided to skip ladies Bible study this morning. It was a tough decision as I had to miss last week (since we were moving), and this study is just 7 weeks long so missing 2 out of 7 is a lot. In addition to the fact that I feel I have other things I need to do this morning, I also haven't done any of the lessons. Hopefully I can get caught up with that by next Tuesday. This study is by Beth Moore (she's my favorite Bible study author) on the Psalms of Ascent. Hopefully I'll be able to make the next 5 sessions. Maybe I'll even put Nadia in the nursery. So far she hasn't been to a nursery, but at some point I'll start putting her in the nursery when I'm at church.

Now that we've lived here a week (has it been that long?) we are starting to get a feel for how long it takes to get to various places. Paul's commute to PSU was 95 minutes (to the parking lot - takes quite a bit longer to get to the bldg) and is now 65 minutes. My commute to work was 15 minutes on average (sometimes as little as 12 minutes) and is now at least 35 minutes. I was hoping the commute to church might be a little less, but it's actually just about exactly the same (25 minutes). At least it's not longer. Our gas bill will go down in the spring when I'll only be driving to campus 2 days a week. I'll still be going 4 days a week for the rest of this semester, and on some days I'll probably go twice in one day. For example this Friday I'll go in the morning and then go back in the afternoon for faculty meeting. My friend Donna will be watching Nadia Friday afternoon. Thanks, Donna! :-) I am tempted to attend a workshop on either Friday morning or Thursday afternoon. Once a year they bring in a nationally known speaker for the faculty, and this year's speaker sounds like he'll be really good. I know though that this is something I need to say "no" to. I'll spend the time with Nadia instead!!! :-) She's 14 weeks old today. Wow.

In terms of our family coming to visit us, we now live farther from Paul's parents. It took Paul's mom 70 minutes to get here yesterday (it took her 30 minutes to get to our last home). I forgot to ask my parents how long it took them to get here. I am guessing it's about 3 1/2 hours. It's probably actually about the same distance for them but the route is a little different.

Last night was the first night in awhile that Nadia woke up for two middle of the night feedings. She went down at 7:30pm and woke up at 11:30pm. I wasn't too pleased especially since I had gone to bed at 10pm (almost half-time). She woke up again at 5:00am and that feeding it took longer than 30 minutes to get her back down. Well hopefully last night was a fluke.

When I went to get Nadia at 7:00am she just BEAMED at me from her crib and also on her changing table while I changed her diaper. I just melted. I have to say seeing those smiles of hers just makes my day!!! She also has gotten to the age where she thinks it's funny when Mommy "eats" her belly. What fun!

Dedication

Life has continued to be SUPER hectic, but hopefully things will calm down soon. On Friday I told Ashley that Nadia wouldn't be there for her to babysit any more. Although I did get the letter from the President on Friday approving my 50% reduced work load from October 1 to May 22, I still didn't tell my students. I was afraid of getting choked up or actually crying in front of them. So I sent them an email over the weekend. I also emailed Angela (the other babysitter). In her reply to me she said she was going to miss Nadia a lot. :-( The babysitters both took really good care of Nadia in my opinion. Paul's mom came up this morning to babysit Nadia as Friday was the last day she was allowed on campus and my leave doesn't begin until Wednesday. Paul left about 11am and I got home about 1:15pm. Wednesday I plan to leave here at 6:40am and get back by 9:30am.

Thankfully we haven't had any additional disasters around the house lately. Paul replaced the outlet for the dryer on Saturday, and the appliance guy came today and for about $70 fixed our dishwasher and the ice machine in our frig. This is the first time I've owned a frig that has an ice machine. Plus we made a LOT of progress with unpacking on Friday and Saturday, and my dad helped hang a lot of pictures and curtains on Saturday. By the time we left for church on Sunday morning the house no longer looked like a disaster area. Of course not all the work is done, but I no longer feel surrounded by chaos. I need to do more unpacking, decorating, and such, but I don't feel the sense of urgency I did before. I also need to do a LOT of work outside as no one had lived here since May. The grass really needs to be mowed, the shrubs need to be trimmed, etc.

My mom and I went shopping at Target on Saturday night after I put Nadia to bed and we bought fun things for the bathrooms. Although the penguin stuff doesn't totally match the colors in the flooring in the 1/2 bath, we got them since they were Paul's favorite. I picked out the monkey theme for Nadia's bathroom upstairs. I think it matches well and is very fun.

Part of the reason for the attempt to get the house fixed up ASAP was that Nadia was being dedicated at church on Sunday. She wore the dress I wore 36 years ago at my dedication. She's the 6th girl to wear it (my sisters and I plus my two nieces). Eleven people came for her special day - my parents, Paul's parents, Paul's brother, Paul's grandmother, my friend (Cheri), and Paul's four nieces and nephews. Nadia was good as gold and just looked up into the Pastor's eyes while he held her and prayed for her. He always does an acronym based on the child's name. I remember that the "n" was for "nice" and the two "a's" were for "attentive" and "attractive, but I don't remember what the other letters were for. I will order a CD of it so I can listen to that part again. I shed a few tears during it all; sometimes I still can't believe that this miracle has finally happened. I am a mother! Since Sunday was "Family Fun Day" lunch was served at church after the service. Seven of those who came for her dedication stayed for the lunch, and then six of them came over to our house after that.

Nadia is doing a great job sleeping. The longest stretch so far was 9 1/2 hours (Thursday night). She is averaging 10 hours total. For example last night she slept from 7:30pm to 2:00am and then 2:30am to 6:30am. Usually she doesn't wake up that early (2:00am), but her arm was stuck between the crib and the wall. I didn't get her a bumper since I had read it's not advised due to SIDS, but she often gets her arm or leg stuck between the slats. Any suggestions? I am tempted to buy a bumper. Would that be unsafe??? She's also doing a great job playing in her gym alone for 30 minutes or more at a time. She loves batting the toys in her gym with her arms and feet and in her bouncer with her arms.

Dr. Manning called on Friday to say the lab had only tested Nadia for an allergy to whey. So we still don't know yet if she's allergic to dairy products yet. She said she'll call us when she gets those results.

Three Months Old!

Yesterday Nadia turned three months old. Wow! I think the photos show how much she has grown! She now sleeps 10 hours total each night with one feeding after she's slept 7-8 hours. If I were going to bed closer to when she went to bed I'd be getting the amount of sleep I used to get before I became a Mommy. So I think once the unpacking is over I shall be able to get my normal amount of sleep even with being up 30-60 minutes at some point in the early morning hours (last night I was up with her from 2:30-3:30am for example). She also is doing much better at playing by herself in the bouncer or gym for extended periods of time so that Mommy can get some work done. I look forward to having more time to play with her in the near future! Unfortunately she is STILL congested. I'd have to look back, but I think it's been 8 weeks now! I called the doctor today, and she is not allergic to dairy products which is a relief to know I don't need to eliminate those from my diet, but it's frustrating not to know how to help her. Since we moved I need to find her a new pediatrician, and I'm hoping the new doctor will be able to clear up her congestion.

I don't have time to go into all the details, but let's just say this has been a VERY rough week. The movers brought the wrong size truck which meant we weren't out on time which meant the real estate agent and buyers were NOT happy with us at all and we almost weren't able to close on our new house because they wouldn't release the check until we were out and the movers only got the last few things out very shortly before our second closing. The problem was that they had to make two trips. This also meant that we had to pay twice as much as they estimated our cost would be as more than half the bill was for their time on the road. They spent more time driving back and forth than unloading and loading. They went back to pick up only a couple of pieces of furniture, but it's not like I wanted to leave our sofa behind as that's the only one we have! They brought the size truck you'd use for an apartment move, and I told them we had seven rooms of furniture to move. We had already moved the boxes ourselves on Monday, but we didn't end up saving any $$ like I was trying to do. Paul and I had gotten up at 3am that morning to finish the packing and we worked like crazy until 9:30am when we left for the first closing. That was SUCH a long day for me as I was teaching until 7:30pm and then had a longer drive home and nursed Nadia before finally crashing in bed. I teach at 8am on Wed so I had to be out the door by 7:00am. So far the only thing I've discovered that was broken during the move was Paul's computer monitor (we moved that ourselves). So I guess he's going to get a new one (his monitor is 10 years old as we didn't get a new one when we got a new computer 4 years ago). I'm sure he'll prefer a larger, flat screen monitor, but we weren't expecting to have that purchase right now.

Since we moved in it seems to be one catastrophe after another. Paul smelled natural gas on Wed

am so we called the gas company and they found a leak. So I left school earlier than usual to be there when the plumber came. Then we tried to run the dishwasher and it flooded water all over the place. This morning we could still smell natural gas so we had the plumber come back. He said he couldn't smell anything. I called the natural gas company and they came back and said yes there is a second leak so the plumber came back for the third time in two days to fix the other leak. Someone is supposed to come on Monday to fix the dishwasher and the ice maker in the refrig (that's the only thing we KNEW was broken before we moved in). We asked the plumber to fix a couple of faucets that were loose and he said it would be VERY expensive to fix them (tear through walls etc).

The movers threw away the duct for the dryer so I couldn't do any laundry. My mom went and bought one this afternoon, and Paul spent 90 minutes getting it hooked up only to find out our dryer cannot plug into the outlet this house has for the dryer. So I cannot do the laundry or run the dishwasher until Monday at the earliest. And the list could go on. It's been very stressful trying to teach this week plus care for sweet Nadia plus unpack millions of boxes plus continue the process of notifying everyone we must notify of our address change (still haven't called for our vehicle registration, car insurance, etc. yet). My mom was a huge help. She came up Monday afternoon and left this afternoon. We wouldn't be nearly as far along if she hadn't helped with unpacking, cleaning, ironing, etc. We also did some grocery shopping yesterday but still the frig, freezer, and pantry are pretty bare. Sometimes I just look around and am not sure what I should do next as I am also very behind in my schoolwork right now.

Tomorrow I am teaching from 8-11 and have meetings from 11-1. It will be Nadia's last day of going to school with me and my next to last day of teaching FT. I must tell the babysitters and students tomorrow that I am going on reduced time parental leave starting Oct 1 although I still haven't received the official word regarding that request. The cable was installed today. It was strange to not have any internet for three days. Well I am sure life will be much calmer one week from now. The to do list will be much smaller by then. Right now it's REALLY long. Speaking of long, I wish the previous owners had mowed the grass. It's really tall. I mowed the lawn for our buyers, but the favor was not returned for me. Thankfully this is a MUCH smaller lawn although we sold our riding mower. Well it's time to put Nadia to bed and do some more unpacking before I hit the sack. Hopefully we won't have any other disasters in the next couple of days.

One More Night

Tonight will be our last night sleeping in this home. We moved here in July 2004, and I was sure we'd live here for decades. I Was Wrong! I know not to think that this time as we could easily be moving again in 4-5 years when Paul finishes his PhD. I remember being sooo tired after that last move. Packing and unpacking a house is Not Fun. However I had it easy then as it was the first (and since then still the only) summer I didn't work since I was a teenager as I was in between two jobs. In contrast with this move I am juggling a FT job and a 2 month old baby in between packing the house and also doing all the paperwork associated with selling/buying homes and also moving (change of address stuff). Honestly, I think the past 13 weeks qualify as the most stressful 13 weeks of my life. It started with the week in the NICU which was definitely stressful for me and while I was in there I was also grading papers to get my grades submitted on time for the summer session. Then within 2 days of coming home our house went under contract and the paperwork madness began. Of course that buyer ended up backing away. Also during this time Paul was writing his entire thesis which was stressful for both of us and then he had his entrance exams the first week of August at PSU. Then I went back to work and since then have needed to make a big decision about whether to keep working FT or not, and the list could go on. The good news is that the end is in sight (I hope!) to when my stress level should come DOWN. By tomorrow afternoon we'll be moved into our new home. Unpacking always goes more quickly than packing does, and my mom is coming up today to help us until Thursday. I will need to tell the babysitters and my students this week about the changes happening next week; so that unpleasantness will be over soon as well. Paul's commute is about to become shorter so hopefully that will decrease his stress level as well.

Yesterday Paul's family came up and we loaded a trailer and his Dad's pickup truck with our boxes and other stuff (like the grill for example). Paul's brother will be driving it to our new home this afternoon, and he and Paul will be unloading it (alone unfortunately for them). Then they'll come back and load the truck with a few pieces of furniture we're giving them. Tomorrow morning the movers will load up the furniture and move it to our new home. We have the closing to sell our home at 10am, to buy our home at 2:30pm, and then I teach tomorrow night. What a day that will be. I am hoping to go grocery shopping in between the two closings as we have VERY little food. I have no idea where the closest grocery store is to our new home. So many things to learn. For starters I need to learn how to GET to our new house, LOL. I truly don't even know how to get there yet. I am teaching this morning and taking a load to Salvation Army and then coming home to finish packing and cleaning while my mom takes care of Nadia.

I am sooo glad she has been sleeping well. It hasn't translated to extra sleep for me since I've been using that time to get more work done for packing, but it does mean once we're settled in the new home that I can get more sleep. She's getting one stretch of 6 1/2 - 8 1/2 hours (only went over 8 hours once and 7 is about the norm) and then nursing 30 minutes and then sleeping another 1 1/2 to 3 hours. Normally she's going back very easily (Saturday morning was the exception when she got up at 4;30 and was up for 2 hours) and normally she's going down very easily at night between 8:00-9:00 (the exception was Friday night when it took forever to get her down but thankfully that's now the exception).

Jealous

Okay, I know it's not good to be jealous, but I admit I am feeling jealous because Paul and Paul's mom have both heard Nadia laugh and I have not. Well I've heard her laugh in her sleep, but I haven't heard a purposeful laugh yet. Paul got her to laugh on Wednesday night while I was at work doing peer observations (a new responsibility since only tenured faculty do them). He said he was imitating the sounds different instruments make. Paul's mom got her to laugh on Thursday while I was at the dentist. She smiles for me a lot and coos, but she hasn't laughed for Mommy yet. She smiles when I kiss her, and that melts my heart. I can't wait til she gives ME kisses too! Hopefully soon I'll get to hear her laugh.

This morning the babysitter was running a little behind so I brought Nadia to my classroom while I was getting set up for class (the babysitter arrived before class began). One of the students asked what the doll was for and then realized this "doll" was my daughter. I do call her my doll baby. :-) I was going to tell the babysitter today that she'll only have one more day to babysit Nadia (29th), but when I came back at 10:50 (and Nadia was sound asleep in the pack n play) she was showing me photos of Nadia on her Blackberry and I just couldn't do it. I am also dreading telling Ashley who will be babysitting her twice next week (not on Wednesday as Grandma Harton will take care of her that day). I think part of the reason leaving is so hard (aside from the fact I'm leaving in the middle of a semester) is because the current arrangement seems fine to me. I keep reminding myself that if I kept teaching FT not only would she be off-campus all the hours I teach but also all the hours she's normally with me on campus. I am sure I wouldn't like that At All.

Nadia's bloodwork is STILL in progress. That's a long test! I told the dr that Nadia had now been congested for 6 weeks, and she said that some c-section babies are congested for up to 6 months.

Way to go, Nadia!!!

Last night Nadia slept from 9:15pm to 5:45am - that's 8 1/2 hours. WOOHOOO!!! I slept 7 of those as from 4:15 on I couldn't sleep as I was in too much pain. I kept thinking if I went to pump then she'd wake up. Hopefully my body will get the message that she's sleeping more at night and chill out some on the milk production during those hours. She also did such a nice job this morning playing in her gym and sleeping in her bouncer so that I could get a shower, do some packing etc. A friend from choir came this morning and we spent 2 1/2 hours packing up Paul's books. Then Paul's mom came about an hour later and brought Nadia several new long sleeve pant outfits (0-3 months) and a new dress also in that size. I plan to have her wear her new dress on Sunday to church. :-) Paul's mom watched Nadia while I had a dentist appt, and then when I got back Nadia was asleep in her arms so I also did some weeding of the flower beds. Then Paul came home so I did some mowing until Paul's mom left as then I needed to care for Nadia so Paul could take a nap as he had been up most of the night doing school work.

At first Paul didn't want me to continue teaching the 8 or 9am classes although I would be home in time for him to leave for his classes. Then this morning he agreed I could just keep teaching the 8am class in Oct/Nov. So I'll cut back to 50% instead of 25%. I'll be teaching Tuesday nights and MWF from 8:00-8:50. The only bad part of this is that I'll be driving about as long as I'll be there since we're moving farther from my school. In the spring I'll also be at 50%, but I'll be teaching two night classes that semester (Monday and Tuesday) so that will be less driving time. Of course I wouldn't have minded being able to get up whenever Nadia gets up, but financially it will be better for me to keep teaching 2 classes, and she'll be with Daddy which is a good place for her to be in my opinion! I'll get home about 9:30am those days. I am still teaching FT until Sept 30. The parental leave begins Oct 1 presuming it's approved. I asked for a 50% reduced time leave from Oct 1 to May 1 as the spring semester ends on May 1.

One funny thing about my dentist appt was that the receptionist asked me about my baby as she remembered I was pg at the last visit. She asked to see a picture of Nadia, and I didn't have one on me. She said she was surprised as new moms always carry around a picture. As I walked to the car it hit me, I am rarely separated from her so that's why I've never been asked for a picture before. Usually she's right there for them to see in person! I guess I should start carrying a picture of her also just for these times when she's not with me. :-)

Only 5 more nights sleeping in this house, and in 6 days Nadia will be 3 months old. WOW! I called the doctor today to check on the b/w results for Nadia, but they said the allergy test is still in progress. Hopefully we can get the results tomorrow. The poor little girl has now been congested for SIX weeks straight! One last bit of news would be that I weighed myself earlier this week and was happy to see I'd lost another pound. That's 22 lbs total of which 5 lbs were lost in the last 4 weeks. I still have a lot to lose, but I'm going in the right direction! :-)

Fall weather

It has been unseasonably warm lately, but today it feels like fall weather. I like spring and fall weather the best so that's fine with me! In the morning (especially at say 7:30am) it's rather cool now so today I had Nadia wear a sweater for the first time. I will take a picture as she looks so cute it in. It's size 3-6 months but it worked just fine (not that she's ready to move into that size in general by any means). It has a hood to keep her head warm also. She slept SO well last night. Three cheers for Nadia!!! She slept almost 7 hours and then after only nursing for 30 minutes she had been sleeping for 3 hours when I had to wake her up to change her diaper and take her to school. I pumped since I wasn't able to nurse her before we left (I didn't have the heart to wake her up to feed her since I just did that on Monday). What I pumped was almost enough for the babysitter. She only had one ounce of formula with Angela. So she slept almost 10 hours last night! Wow! I almost got 8 hours. Well I was in bed 7 1/2 hours but with everything going on it was hard to go back to sleep after I nursed her in the middle of the night. She is definitely in a routine now of at least a 6 hour stretch. What a blessing!!! Everyone was right when they said it would get better around 12 weeks as she hit 12 weeks yesterday. :-) I think the fact her weight has doubled also is helping a lot with sleeping more.

From the way I read the CBA, childrearing leave (after a child is one year old) requires permission but parental leave does not, but the Dean is saying they will let me know their response to my request. The CBA says we must give notification which doesn't seem to imply asking for permission (for parental leave). My dept chair asked if I would be willing to switch one of my daytime classes to an evening class for the rest of the semester if the students could do that, and I said yes. Later when driving home it hit me that since Paul dropped his 9am class I could teach the 8am class as his first class now isn't until 12 something or other. So I sent an email when I got home saying I could keep teaching that class. My dept chair said they had found someone to teach my 10am class. I didn't tell the babysitters or my students yet. I was afraid I'd cry. I figure I should wait until I hear the official word from the Provost & Dean before I tell them. Nadia and I got home about 1pm and then at 4:30 I am heading back to work to do two peer observations. Hopefully Paul will be home by 4:30. Thankfully I don't need to go to work tomorrow. I will be packing and have a dentist appt also.

Two Weeks

Well I received the response from my Dean, and the last day Nadia is allowed on campus at all is Sept 30. Then she's not allowed back on campus until she's 18 years old. So I am asking for 75% reduced time parental leave for the remaining 2/3 of the semester (beginning Oct 1) and 50% reduced time parental leave for the spring semester. I would like to keep teaching my Tues pm class this semester and teach on Monday and Tuesday nights in the spring. I was scheduled to teach one night class and 3 afternoon classes in the spring, but I changed that with my dept chair this morning to two afternoon and two evening classes before I got the letter from the Dean. I feel badly about leaving my students in the middle of the semester, and I find it ironic that I will have worked FT during the time of the move and then PT after we've settled in our new home (as life will be a lot less stressful for me then). I know I won't regret my decision though. My daughter comes first over my job.

Today was a busy day as I had a curriculum meeting with my dept chair and Dean at 9:15 and then a meeting with the psych dept (regarding curriculum changes) at 10:00 and then took Nadia to the doctor for her bloodwork (OUCH for Nadia!), and then Donna came and helped me pack and clean the stove and refrigerator before I went back to work for office hours and teaching (then Nadia was home with Daddy). I am currently the chair of my dept's search and screen committee (chairing four tenure track searches that we are trying to fill by January) and the co-chair of our curriculum committee. I plan to stay on the committees but resign as chair from both of them in light of cutting back to 25%. So my days won't be so hectic starting October 2. I will wait a bit to tell my students. It's going to be hard to tell them without getting emotional. That will be my goal though. I don't want to stand up there crying. I cried enough in my office last Wednesday when I got the first email from the Dean about this. It is wonderful to be able to spend more time with my daughter. We can swing it financially with 50% of my salary plus Paul's stipend. I have no idea who will teach my classes, but I guess that's not my problem. I asked permission for this arrangement in February and was only told in September that it's not allowed.

Last night Nadia had another 6 hour stretch. Unfortunately I was doing school work and then wasn't feeling well (intestinal issues) so I only slept 4 hours of that time, and she got up at 5:30 so I only got 6 hours total. Still I am very pleased that 6 hour stretches are becoming the norm. I don't mean to sound "greedy" but now I'm hoping that might extend to 7 hours. :-)

What a trouper!

I thank you for your prayers - they were answered! First I have to say CONGRATS to Nadia for sleeping 7 hours straight last night so I still got a 6 hour stretch even though I stayed up to watch the first half of the football game. :-) I felt so badly waking her up at 6:30am. I wanted to nurse her again before we left. I had nursed her from 3:45-4:45am and then let her cry a couple of minutes and she fell asleep. I nursed her from 6:30-7:00am and then she cried for about 30 minutes of the first 60 minutes in the car (off and on). She slept the rest of the way. I left early so that I would have time to nurse her again in the parking lot before going in for the mtg. I also planned to nurse her during the lunch break, but unfortunately it ended up being a "working lunch." Nadia slept a few times and was generally very well behaved during the 5 hour meeting. Four people asked to hold her at one point or another. Three held her a very short time as she cried and wanted Mommy, but Cathy put her to sleep once. :-) I planned to nurse her in the parking lot again before driving home, but she was asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake her even though it had been 5 hours since I nursed her and I was in PAIN. She slept 3/4 of the way home and only woke up because of construction. Thankfully she went back to sleep. Out of the 2+ hour drive home she only cried about 10 minutes total (cried 3 different times on the way home). I was sooo impressed!!! I still don't want to go to the wedding in Philly on Saturday though so Paul will go alone. When we got home although I was very hungry and also really had to go to the bathroom I decided the most pressing physical need I had was to nurse her as it had now been over 7 hours. I have never gone anywhere near that long before during the day without nursing her. OUCH! That's also an adjustment at night. I pumped at 2:45am on Saturday night because I was in so much pain (and then she woke up at 3:15). I assume in time my body will adjust to the fact she's sleeping longer and going that long in between won't hurt so much.

Another change with Nadia lately is that she'll play in her gym for longer and longer periods of time. I am glad that I finally can go do something for a few minutes without her crying. Whew... I know she's not purposefully trying to hit the toys that dangle down, but it almost looks like she is doing it on purpose (hands and feet). She enjoys being on her back more than on her tummy. She's growing up! I know to others she still seems small, but I think she now weighs twice as much as she did at her lowest point. :-) This was a very long, tiring day, and I am not wanting to have another day quite like that any time soon. All in all though she did a GREAT job, and the day went better than I expected it would.

Paul's mom had her scans today at the hospital and now has to wait until Sept 30 to get the results. We are praying that the chemo did what it was supposed to do!!!

One last bit of news would be that we found out recently that I80 will NOT become a toll road! WAHOOOO! The federal gov't said NO to the state's plans. :-) After we move both Paul & I will be taking I80 to school - Paul going west and I'll be going east. The cost would have been astronomical for us if we were both paying tolls 4-5 days a week. What a relief!!!

First Picnic

Well yesterday Nadia was outside for an extended period of time for the first time, and she wore tights for the first time. There are SO many firsts for little ones! Nadia was held by her cousins Brandi and Holly as well as her Grandma and Pop Pop. The picnic had a luau theme as you can tell by the leis Pop Pop is wearing. I weighed her today, and with her diaper and pjs she weighed 11 lbs! She's a growing girl!!

Here are two funny comments from her Daddy at the picnic. #1 When Brandi (age 14) was carrying Nadia he said, "Please don't drop our daughter, she's the only one we have." #2 Everyone always comments on how cute she is - even strangers at the grocery store, etc. Paul said that he's concerned that all these comments are going to give her a big head, and she already has to work hard to hold her head up, LOL.

Last night Nadia had a 6 1/2 hour stretch. This was her first time ever to have two nights in a row with a 6 hour stretch. WOOHOO! We picked up a pack of diapers at the grocery store (I had a coupon for a free pack) yesterday and didn't have any leakage last night. Hopefully tonight will be the third night in a row of a 6 hour stretch or more!

Nadia wore a really pretty dress from eBay to church this morning. Unfortunately she didn't want to pose for photos today so I am just posting one of her in the car seat after we got home. She cried in the car all the way to church but thankfully slept through most of the service and on the way home. I really, really, really hope she sleeps a good portion of the 4 hours she's in the car tomorrow. Please say a prayer for tomorrow to go well!

To answer questions posed in the comments, #1 Nadia's eye is fine now. The blocked tear duct problem was very short lived thankfully and #2 she still has a VERY "outie" belly button. :-)

Huggies???

Last week Nadia moved up to size 1 diapers. She had been wearing size "N." In the hospital they used Pampers and gave us some extras to take home, and I had bought Parent's Choice brand from Walmart as they were about $10 for 80 diapers. The only time I had any leakage was if she had a really big poopy diaper, and that hasn't happened since I switched to size 1 diapers (Pampers). Well aside from the Pampers that are at school, I am out of them at home so I recently switched to a bag of Huggies that I bought 3 1/2 years ago. During the day they worked fine, but last night she soaked through one - soaked her onesie, sleeper, wearable blanket, and crib sheet! This never happened with the other two brands of diapers. So my question is whether this is a problem with Huggies or is it just because they're too old??? I have been thinking about cloth diapers lately now that I see exactly how much we're sending to the landfill. If I go on parental leave I will definitely give them a whirl although it sounds like maybe the babysitters could handle Gdiapers? I know a few of you use cloth diapers so I'd greatly appreciate your feedback!!

Last night was the BEST night yet I do believe as Nadia slept 5h45m and then nursed for only 30 min before going back down for 1hr40m and after another short feed she slept another hour so I got about 8 hours of sleep!!!! May this become the norm!!! I think she definitely has allergies as she just sneezes SO much. At 4:00am when I was cleaning out her nose I got sooo much stuff out. She is so clogged up! I really enjoyed having Raisin Bran for breakfast this morning. I really hope she's not allergic to milk!

Yesterday I received an acceptance for my conference proposal for ACEI in Chicago in March. A couple of weeks ago I received my acceptance for my proposal for NCTM in DC in April. I have been to the last 4 ACEI conferences (held in New Orleans, DC, San Antonio, and Chicago) but never to a NCTM conference (which is for math teachers). My new selection criteria is which conference involves easy babysitting services. :-) Aunt Wendy can watch Nadia when I speak in Chicago, and Grandma Harton can watch her while I speak in DC. Although almost all my conference proposals have been accepted the past 5 years (only one rejection in that time period), I still feel a little thrill when I read "Congratulations! Your proposal xyz has been accepted for presentation at xyz." :-) Last November I was at my first NAEYC conference (early childhood) in Chicago when I found out I was pg. Since Wendy is pg with #3 (due the end of April) she won't be traveling to DC in March or May as originally planned, so that is another reason I am glad I am going to Chicago in March as otherwise I'd have to go a long time without seeing Susie & Adam (and their parents, LOL). I am planning to submit a proposal in a few months for NAEYC's 2009 conference which will be in DC. Conference proposals are usually due about 11 months before the conference so they definitely require advance planning! Hopefully going on parental leave doesn't affect my ability to receive funding for professional development travel. Speaking of finances, I got my first paycheck yesterday that is based on my new salary as Associate Professor, and it was a bigger raise than I was expecting which was a pleasant surprise! Of course my pay might be going down drastically soon if I have to go on leave, but still it means that even the portion I get paid per class will be higher this year for which I am very grateful. :-)

A friend from choir is coming over to help me pack on Thursday morning. I was thinking last night that packing books is probably a good project for her that morning. So I've asked Paul that instead of packing books this weekend if instead he could help me pack the basement and garage as that includes his tools and such. Only 9 days til we move the boxes and 10 days until we're in our new house! It will be SUCH a relief to me once this move is over and we're unpacked and settled in the new house.

Tear Duct

Yesterday and today Nadia has woken up in the morning with her left eye closed shut due to a lot of gunk. I called the doctor's office today, and they said if she has a fever, eye is puffy, eye is pink, or she's not eating well to bring her in as she probably has pink eye, but if it's just the discharge then probably she has a blocked tear duct. I didn't bring her in because she doesn't have any of the other symptoms they mentioned.
I hope her eye clears up soon. If it's not one thing it's another with this poor little girl!!!


I had written another email to her doctor yesterday about the congestion. I said it had been 5 weeks now and we hadn't seen improvement from the Zyrtec, soy formula, or me eliminating most dairy products from my diet. The doctor wrote back and said to continue to Zyrtec, but that I didn't need to keep eliminating dairy products from my diet. She said if we were really wanting to know if Nadia has an allergy to milk that we can have a blood test done. So I scheduled her to have that blood work on Tuesday morning. I had ice cream this evening. Yum! If the blood work shows she's allergic to milk, that is going to be even tougher than I realized. I knew it would be an adjustment to give up yogurt and ice cream, but I didn't realize how often I eat cheese in things like pizza, macaroni & cheese, breakfast bagels, pierogies, etc. It will almost mean a complete change to what I eat. We shall see. At least I can still have fruit and PB&J sandwiches. Those are also staples in my diet, LOL.


Last night she slept SIX hours the first stretch which was GREATLY appreciated. Then she was up for almost 2 hours and then slept for almost 2 hours. She was very good at school today - took a nice long nap for the babysitter and then another nap for me at school and later another nap at home. Woohoo! It was a long day at work again although I made it a little shorter than last Friday by leaving the last meeting early. Otherwise it would have been another 10 hour day for us. I just was tired of bouncing her around to keep her super quiet at the meetings especially as the Dean was speaking in the last one. My eyes are bloodshot and the area around my nose is bright red from blowing my eyes so often. The Claritin did help dry me up, but I felt a bit "woozy" from it. I am really, really, really hoping for a nice long stretch of sleep tonight.


The photo is of Nadia at her gym. She likes the gym better than the bouncer or swing. She hits the dangling toys with her arms and feet although of course not on purpose (yet). It's harder to get photos of her these days as most of them turn into action shots. :-) My mom has asked for a video of her cooing. I haven't been able to yet as she coos when I'm looking at her but if I bring up the camera she stops. So I need Paul to use the camera while I keep looking at her. One of the most predictable times for her to coo is when I'm changing her diaper. Hopefully I'll get that on video soon. It will be a precious thing to have and see again in the years ahead.


Yesterday I sent my email to the Dean with my "plan" as she requested. I said I would request a reduced time parental leave for the spring semester and that my first preference (plan A) was to finish this semester "as is." Then I said if it is acceptable for Nadia to be on campus when she is in MY care but not the babysitters, I would try to find a babysitter who lived close to the campus (plan B). I said that if Nadia cannot be on campus at all OR I was unable to find a babysitter near campus that I'd also request a reduced time parental leave for the remainder of the semester (plan C). So we shall see what her response is. My department chair says they don't have anyone available to teach my classes the rest of the semester.


I wasn't able to find a babysitter for Monday so hopefully Nadia will sleep some on the drive to and from Shippensburg as I think we'll be in the car about 4 hours together. Her longest drive so far has been 25 minutes. How that goes will determine whether or not we join Paul in attending the wedding next Saturday in Philly. Monday is going to be a really exhausting day as I'll need to leave earlier to allow time to nurse her once I get there and then I'll probably have to nurse her after the meeting before I can leave to go home so it's probably going to be an 11 hour day for us. I am not looking forward to it. Plus she and I will be in a meeting together for 5 hours so I'll be feeling the pressure to make sure she doesn't cry that whole time which will also be a challenge. The upside is of course that she'll probably take a nap on me, and I do love having her snuggle on me!!!

Paul hasn't done any packing yet, but he promises me he'll start working on packing his books this weekend. He has a LOT of books. I got some packing done yesterday, but it's a challenge to pack since my only chance is when she's sleeping somewhere other than on me. Tomorrow afternoon we're going to a picnic at the home of our oldest niece, Holly and her husband Quentin. Well Nadia went down about 10 minutes ago and seems to be OUT so it's off to bed for me too.

Health Insurance

I spoke with someone in HR last night, and even if I take time off (don't teach at all) we are still covered for our health insurance, and the percentage of the premium we owe (10% which is currently about $1,400 a year) doesn't change. Whew. I knew that PT profs pay 55%, but thankfully that doesn't apply to FT profs on parental leave. She said she'd have to look into the policy for health insurance while on childrearing leave (what you can take past the child's first bday), but until Nadia turns one year old it would be parental leave so I don't need to know quite yet the benefits available while on childrearing leave. Yesterday afternoon when Nadia was smiling at me (purposefully) my feeling was reaffirmed that I don't want to miss out on this time with her. It would be one thing if I needed to find somewhere for her to be for just 9 hours a week, but if she can't even be on campus with me it's going to be a LOT more than that (I was on campus 9 hours on Friday alone for example). Part of me is hoping to work it out to finish the semester "as is" in light of the fact the dept chair gave me permission in February and the Dean knew of my plans this summer yet didn't voice her objections until after the semester had already begun, and part of me feels a sense of relief to think I might be only teaching one class a week in the VERY near future. It will be nice to not have to have Nadia and I out the door by 7am on MWF for example. Time spent with her is worth far more to me than the $$ I'd make by continuing to work FT. I think the ideal scenario would be if I could teach 2 evening classes a semester. That should be possible next fall, but I doubt it's possible this spring. Living off Paul's stipend plus 50% of my salary would definitely be easier than living off his salary plus 25% of my salary, but I am a penny pincher and am confident I can make it work even on 25% of my salary.

Last night the first stretch was 4 1/2 hours and then she was up from 1:45-3:00am. Then she slept for almost 3 hours. So I got about 7 hours of sleep last night. This morning she took a nice nap so I got a little packing and housework done. I have to admit I am feeling a little overwhelmed at how few days are left before we move (10)! Also my allergies are really acting up. I think it's the usual seasonal allergies compounded by sleep loss and the stress of this big decision regarding work. I called my doctor today to find out what would be safest to take while nursing, and I was told Claritin would be safest. I plan to ask Paul to pick some up on his way home from school today. I don't see any improvement with Nadia's congestion so I am not sure if I should give up on the dairy product experiment or not. Maybe I haven't gone without for enough days? Today is the 5th day. I haven't had any cereal (milk), yogurt, or ice cream in that time. I still have had some cheese though. Maybe I'd have to also go w/o cheese to truly see if that's the problem? I just wish my little girl wasn't stuffed up. It's been FIVE weeks now of aspirating her little nose every day. :-( I will say I am amazed at how healthy I have been as usually when I miss sleep for just a couple of nights I get a fever etc. I am very thankful that up until recently I have been very healthy while getting far less sleep than usual.

Answer is No

The Dean told me today that I cannot bring Nadia to campus any more and must let her know by Friday what my decision will be. I emailed her back to let her know I emailed HR on Saturday and the director told me yesterday she'll call me Thursday (tomorrow) to explain how a parental leave affects health insurance, etc. I told the Dean my husband and I cannot make a decision until we get this information. I also asked her if we could continue this arrangement the rest of the semester presuming that Nadia does not disturb the other faculty since I had asked for permission many months ago. The babysitters have been lined up since April. I feel badly for them if they were counting on this income. I also feel badly for my students to leave them in the middle of the semester. She already responded to my email that I cannot continue this arrangement although she did state it would be a hardship to my department. If I hadn't asked permission, I would feel badly. I did ask permission so I don't feel it is my fault that this hardship has come about. So please pray for Paul and I to have wisdom. Thankfully I was able to talk with the mortgage guy on Monday to change our mortgage to 30 years and reduce how much cash we were investing in the new house so that our payments will be less and we'll have more savings on hand if needed. I have meetings today through 2:30pm. Please pray if you read this now as I feel like crying and need to keep myself together. Nadia is sleeping peacefully in my arms. She's not disturbing anyone and is as safe as can be in my opinion. Time spent with her is priceless to me. I wish I didn't feel so guilty for making this decision to go on leave. I can never get this time back with her. I have plenty of years I can work in the future.

The picture is of Nadia sleeping on Grandma yesterday while I was packing. Last night she slept 4 hours and 45 minutes and then very little after that which wasn't good since she went down at 8:30pm. I guess that's why she's sleeping here so much in my office this morning.

SEVEN Hours!!!

Today Nadia is eleven weeks old! Yesterday I was thinking that it seemed unlikely that she'd be sleeping through the night at 12 weeks like seems to be very common since the longest stretch was 3 1/2 hours on Sunday night. Well I am very, very, very happy to say that she slept 7 hours straight last night for the first time ever. WOOHOOO! She took lots of naps yesterday, and so I planned to keep her up until at least 9pm as I didn't want "get up" time to be 4am again. Well she was just sooo sleepy that I actually put her to bed earlier than usual. She went down hmm I think it was about 7:30, and I went to bed at 8:00. She woke up at 9:15pm and I nursed her for 45 minutes. She was wide awake, and I was exhuasted. I particularly hate to be awakened when I've only slept a little bit. So I handed her to Paul and went back to bed. He said she went down around 10:40. She then SLEPT until 5:45am. WOW! Actually she might have gone a little longer, but I wanted to make sure she was okay and I think turning on the light woke her up. She woke up in a very good mood (no crying), and I assumed she'd REALLY need a diaper change since it hadn't been changed since 9:15pm. (Note - if you hate hearing about diaper stuff then skip the next paragraph)

I was wrong first of all, but I ended up having AWFUL timing. I had just opened her diaper when at that very moment she decided to start pooping. Don't ask me how but it literally was on me, the closet door, the wall, the carpet, the clothing & swaddle lying on the dresser, the bottle of diaper cream, the container of wipes, etc. It was up at least 5 ft high on the wall. Thankfully Paul hadn't left yet (I'm sure he wished he had!) so he helped me for a couple of minutes and then he HAD to leave for school as on T/Th he has to be there at 8am. I nursed her for 45 minutes before I went back upstairs to finish cleaning everything. We shall see how well the Zout did. The stain stick usually works better, but I prefer to use the Zout when I am applying it to wet items, and I needed to rinse them out first. I can always run them through the wash again with the stain stick if the Zout didn't get it all out. Oh and I should add that she also peed while this was going on. I must have the WORST timing. She hadn't pooped since Sunday afternoon and then she poops right after I unfasten her diaper!

8 years ago

Tomorrow marks the 8 year "anniversary" of the day Paul asked me to marry him. It was a Saturday, and I stopped in State College to see him on the way home from my doctoral classes at IUP. Every weekend I would drive out to IUP on a Friday night (4.5 hour drive one way), spend the night at a classmate's house, go to class all day on Saturday, and then drive home that night. Paul was at PSU working on his BS in Math. I was very surprised. I remember what surprised me the most was that he had figured out which weekend would be best for us to get married in 2001 based on his schedule of summer classes at PSU and my schedule as principal. Paul is NOT a calendar type of guy. I doubt he's ever owned one, LOL. Of course I almost NEVER leave the house without a calendar. I've been carrying two in the diaper bag the last several weeks - 2008 and 2009. :-)

The next time I came through State College we went to the Victorian Manor for dinner to celebrate. I had no idea how expensive it was. I just thought it looked like a really pretty restaurant. Actually the bill wouldn't have been AS absurd as it was except we got salads. When they brought caviar and crackers out with our menus I thought oops this must be a really expensive restaurant! Actually the main courses we ordered weren't TOO ridiculous, but when Paul was asked if he wanted a salad he said yes as he thought it was included with the meal. Nope. The salad we ate cost about $15 alone. It was a very special salad though as he ordered ceasar and they wheeled out a cart and made the salad from scratch (including the dressing) right in front of us in a very entertaining manner. It was the most expensive side salad we've ever eaten, lol. Actually we've never spent anywhere near that amount for a meal then or since, but getting engaged was pretty special so in my mind it was worth it. I don't think Paul agrees. He still talks about the size of that bill every now and then. :-) Well he might regret that we ate dinner there, but I know he doesn't regret that he asked me to marry him. :-)

The longest stretch last night was only 3 1/2 hours. She went down easily the first time, but then the second time she woke up (4:00am) she was up for good. Well she went to sleep while I showered and got ready for school. So that makes two days in a row of getting up at 4am for me and no naps and only 6 hours of sleep a night. I am surprised at how well I am functioning on 6 hours of sleep a night when I usually notice the effects when I get less than 8-9 hours a night. Nadia has slept a lot more during the day today than she did yesterday; so I am going to wait longer to put her to bed in the hopes that a later bedtime will mean a later get up time. I was only at work for 5 hours today which was a good thing. Tomorrow I'll be home until about 3:30 when Paul will take over caring for Nadia until I get home at 8pm. Paul's mom is coming over in the morning to spend some time with Nadia so I can get some packing done. Today I did some work for the move - filled out the change of address form (again!) for the Post Office, called the phone company, called the electric company, etc. We move two weeks from tomorrow!

I haven't heard back from the Dean. I think she might have forgotten except as I was leaving today she and I crossed paths (and of course Nadia was in my arms). She asked me how we had left things, and I said she was going to contact HR and let me know what they said. I heard back from the union today, and they said that if my Dean says I can't bring my child to work then I can't. I talked with my dept chair on Friday and he didn't think the Dean was actually going to say I can't bring her. We shall see. My guess is maybe she'll let me finish this semester (presuming Nadia is good and doesn't disturb the other faculty on my hall), but I think I'll have to either take a leave or make other arrangements for Nadia in the spring. Thankfully Nadia was really good today for Ashley. If I work FT this semester maybe I can just teach one course (evening) in the spring and we'd still be eligible for health insurance (albeit I'd need to pay more than we do now). I have asked HR for more info on how this would work if I took a leave next semester. First I need to hear back from the Dean and then we probably have decisions to make.

Nadia definitely sounds worse. Last night her coughing woke both Paul and I up. I've had to remove LOTS of white stuff from her nostrils today or she sounds like she's choking. So I am not too convinced that the Zyrtec or soy formula are doing much since she's been on those for over a week now. Today is my 2nd day of almost no dairy (just cheese). Let me say I am already in missing it! I will only try it a few days. If she doesn't improve then I'm back to eating yogurt, ice cream, etc. If I find she improves, then I'll need to evaluate my choices as a friend of mine told me she became lactose intollerant after she gave up dairy products at one point in her life. I wouldn't want that to happen! I feel so badly that she's been congested for sooo long!!! I hope she feels better SOON.

Trophies

Last night Nadia slept about 7 hours total which meant only 6 for me since I went to bed at 9pm. Since she was up for good after 4am (we both tried a few times to get her back to sleep), I decided to go to the 8:00 service. She slept through most of the service thankfully. We returned the swing we borrowed since she didn't seem to like it very much. Donna gave us more boxes. Thanks, Donna! Paul and I did a little packing. I decided to toss all my childhood trophies. Most of them were from the early 80's from school. Paul was amused by my bowling trophy as he doesn't view me as athletic. He's a much better bowler than I am! I've moved these trophies 3 times in the last 12 years, and they've stayed in the basement all those years. I decided not to move them a fourth time. Only 16 days til we move - yikes!!

There are 2 times when Nadia might have been in the car for trips that exceed 2 hours one way. I have a grant mtg in Shippensburg on the 15th, and we were planning to attend a wedding in Philly on the 20th. Since Nadia doesn't fare too well in her car seat, I've decided just Paul will attend the wedding, and I'm trying to find a babysitter for Nadia for the 15th although it will be hard to be separated from her for 9 hours!!!! Grandma can't do it as she has scans at the hospital that day to see if the chemo worked.

Gas Drops

Paul, Paul's mom, and I have all noticed the last few weeks that Nadia has a lot of gas. Her babysitter this week also noticed and suggested we try gas drops. I emailed the pediatrician on Thursday night about two things: her continued congestion and whether she thought it was good for us to try the gas drops with Nadia. She wrote back on Friday and said yes to the drops so I got some today. Hopefully they'll help her "toot" a little less. I think it does make her uncomfortable and might be the reason sometimes that she is fussy. Of course all these medications taste good so she doesn't mind!

As for the congestion, Dr. M said to keep using the Zyrtec. I said that for the last week we had also switched to soy formula. Nadia gets on average 4 ounces of formula a day. I have started pumping some, but I haven't been doing it enough to have enough for others to give her a bottle. She did seem a little better for a few days so we thought either the soy formula or the Zyrtec were helping, but Paul commented last night that she seemed to be getting worse again, and I agree. The poor girl has been having her nose suctioned several times a day for OVER four weeks now! She actually is somewhat used to the nose spray and doesn't cry every time with that any more. We have gone through TWO bottles of nose spray and she's not even 11 weeks old. So the next thing on the list to try to see if it will clear up Nadia's congestion is for me to give up milk. GULP! Now it's no problem for me to give up milk in particular. I never drink milk. However I usually have a yogurt as part of my breakfast every morning, and I usually have an ice cream treat sometime in the day. Literally there are probably less than 10 days a year when I don't have some ice cream that day. I buy novelties instead of half gallons because then I don't eat too much. It's easier to control the calories if I eat an ice cream sandwich or a Klondike bar than if I scoop out some ice cream into a bowl. Ice cream is just one of my MOST favorite foods. This is true love, Nadia! Although I am wanting her congestion to clear up, I hope we find the cause is something other than me eating dairy products. If it does prove to be the dairy products, I am not sure I'll nurse her for a full year as planned. We shall see. Let me tell you though after YEARS of having a yogurt and an ice cream almost every day, I am going to be in serious withdrawal, LOL! Now if she is allergic to say vegetables or meat, that would be MUCH easier for me! Fruit, carbs, and dairy are my favorite food groups. So anyhow tomorrow will be day #1 of no yogurt or ice cream for me. I'll probably still have a little cheese (such as on my breakfast bagel from Dunkin Donuts for lunch), but that will be it in terms of dairy products. We shall see if this leads to her congestion clearing up or not.

Last night the first stretch was 4 1/2 hours and then she was up for almost two hours (1:45-3:30am). That hadn't happened in awhile, and it was awful timing for it to happen on a night when I was dead tired after having worked 10 hours. The good part of it was that at least today was Saturday. The 2nd stretch was again 3 hours though so maybe we are starting a new trend as for weeks the 2nd stretch has always been at most 2 hours. Today she only took one short nap so I put her to bed a little earlier (8:15). Thankfully she went down easily tonight. So I'd better head to bed shortly myself. Usually I go down when she goes down, but I don't usually put her down at 8:15.

That dress she wore yesterday was size 0-3 months, and it was almost too small! It was the first time she wore it. It was the one dress I bought her while I was pg. It's crazy how much variation there is between clothes that are supposedly the same size. Some 0-3 months fits her perfectly, some are too small, and some are still way too big (mostly pants). The blue 3-6 month dress bought on eBay recently came in this week (for $5), and it is GORGEOUS and is such a great color for her. I can't wait until she's big enough to wear it! The sleeves are WAY too long right now. I weighed her this morning, and it seems she's about 10 lbs now! Our little girl is growing!

Our Little Princess

She loves to stick out her tongue!

Cooing at Mommy! :-)

Sleeping on the boppy at 6:30am while Mommy got dressed for school.

Last night the first stretch was only 4 hours, but then she went back down easily and surprised me by sleeping 3 hours the next stretch (after I just said yesterday that stretch is always 2 hours, LOL). It was a very long day at work - including driving time it was almost 10 hours. She was very good for the babysitter today. Yay! I had packed an extra onesie and dress in case she got poop on this one. I forgot to pack socks and that is the ONE article of clothing that she did get poop on, LOL. So now I know to also pack an extra pair of socks. So many lessons to learn as a Mommy! I am pooped as during all the meetings I was standing to keep Nadia content or keep her asleep as the case may be so I was standing (and bouncing most of the time) for 3 1/2 hours of meetings in addition to standing while teaching for 3 hours so my feet are sore! Paul is trying to put her to bed right now. Hopefully he will succeed as I am ready to crash myself. I am soooo glad tomorrrow is Saturday!!!!

Tough Decision

Last night Nadia slept almost 6 hours the first stretch and then went down easily after I nursed her and of course woke up 2 hours later. I could set my clock by that. She always sleeps 2 hours after I nurse her in the night! So that was a very good night. This morning Donna came over and brought LOTS of boxes and helped me pack. Thanks, Donna!!! The number of packed boxes in the dining room is growing day by day.

This afternoon Nadia and I went to the grocery store and then to meet with the Dean. She fell asleep in the grocery store and thankfully slept through my mtg. The mtg went as I expected in that the Dean doesn't want Nadia in my office. She's checking with HR to see if it would be okay if I signed something waiving all liability, but I think she wants this to stop ASAP even if I sign something. I have a feeling if I truly say then I will take a leave that they'll probably let me finish the semester with this arrangement as I honestly don't think they'd be able to find temps to teach my daytime classes (I'd keep teaching my evening class at least). We ran out of adjuncts this semester. I think I'm the only one not on overload this semester, and still we even had to ask 2 profs in another dept to teach two of our classes. However if I really did have to go on leave the plus would be more time with Nadia and a much less stressful schedule. The cons would be I couldn't apply for a sabbatical this year (which I would take during the year she was two years old) and of course the loss of the majority of our income plus needing to pay MUCH more towards our health insurance. Probably the one course would cover what we'd owe towards health insurance. I have contacted the faculty union to get input on this situation, and I am waiting for the Dean to get back to me after she talks to HR. Paul said "our little peanut has been expelled from the university." Daycare is just not something I am open to right now. She would be there FAR more than 9 hours a week as she'd be there during my office hours and also my driving time. So instead of 9 hours with a babysitter it would probably be at least 21 hours at the minimum (plus Tuesdays with Daddy). She kept saying she didn't think it was safe for Nadia. I really don't get how her getting one on one care around the corner from me is less safe than putting her in daycare. These babysitters both work in day care centers as a matter of fact (one of them works at the one on campus no less). So I'd greatly appreciate prayer for wisdom after I hear back from the Dean if she says Nadia can't come with me any more. I've waited sooo long and we've gone through sooo much to become parents. I don't want to miss out on all that time with her! If you think of us tomorrow I'd also appreciate prayer as Nadia and I will be at school from 7:15am to 4:30pm. I will be pooped tomorrow night!!!

Priceless

Yesterday was quite an emotional day with various highs and lows. I'll start with the bad news and save the best (what was priceless) for last.

1. It was really hard to leave Nadia yesterday as she was upset when I left (Grandma was there and was about to leave and Daddy had just come home from school). It was the longest we were ever separated (6 1/2 hours). I am going to try really hard not to ever have a meeting to attend that early on a Tuesday again. I can't believe how much I missed her given she's only been in my arms for 10 weeks.

2. The worst news of the day was that the Dean wants to meet with me on Thursday to discuss Nadia being in my office. She's concerned about "liability issues." I refuse to put her in daycare at 10 weeks old so if this plan cannot work then I'll be taking unpaid maternity leave which will be great to be a SAHM for awhile but awful financially. I had asked permission MANY months ago of my dept chair if this would be allowed. I'd appreciate prayers that the mtg will go well with her. I am happy to sign something saying I'll waive any liability for the university for her. I burst into tears when I heard the message from my dept chair about this meeting. I wish we could just do it today instead of waiting until 3pm tomorrow especially as Nadia and I will have to make a special trip just for this mtg.

3. Nadia napped really well yesterday. Her first two naps were mostly on me which hadn't happened in a long time as I've been trying to get her to sleep in the crib, but I really enjoyed it. It's so special to have her snuggled on me. She then slept 2 hours for Paul in the crib when I was at school. Also she went down to bed VERY easily last night. I got home at 8:00pm and nursed her for 45 minutes and then put her in her crib awake and she "talked" in a happy voice for about 25 minutes and then fell asleep. NO crying. Wow. I wish it would always be that easy!!! She slept 4 hours and then I nursed her for an hour and she again went down easily. The problem was then she slept her usual 2 hours more which meant she woke up at 4am so I've been up since 4am. :-( Right now I am in my office and she's asleep on me. I will transfer her to the pack n play in a few minutes and hopefully she'll sleep the first couple of hours that Angela has her. Today is Angela's first day babysitting Nadia.

4. The moment which also brought tears but happy ones this time was when Paul's mom was watching Nadia while I was packing. I took a break and came over to say hi to my little girl and she LIT UP like a Christmas tree. I have never seen her smile so big so purposefully as she looked in my eyes and started cooing away. Of course I smiled back and then she smiled some more. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I wished for a camera to take a picture or a video. I hope I can etch it in my memory for years to come. Such a beautiful sight those smiles were and those beautiful little cooing sounds coming from her mouth. She loves me, and of course I love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was priceless. I'll take some photos later today of her in her jeans (the preemie jeans still fit her, lol) and post them. She fits in well with the average college student's attire except most aren't wearing a shirt that says "I love my daddy," LOL.

Double Digits!!!

Nadia is TEN weeks old today. Such a big girl! :-) I know to those of you who gave birth to 10+ lb babies she's still small, but considering she only weighed 5lbs the first couple weeks of her life, she seems big at 9+ lbs! Yesterday was a very rough day (lots of crying and very little sleeping), but I can tell today is going to be a MUCH better day. YAY! Maybe it's because she knows Grandma is coming today? :-) Really there have been only two days in the last 9 weeks since she's been home that she's cried a lot with me - last Thursday which I attributed to the shots and yesterday (not sure why). Usually as long as I hold her she's fine (can't say the same for Daddy unfortunately). It hit me this morning that both days she slept very little. So I think that's the key. She's in a VERY happy mood this morning. I could tell when I was nursing her at 5:45am that today would be a good day. I was even able to put her in her crib awake and she was making happy sounds while I got a shower. Wow. That is utterly amazing as usually she screams if she's awake and not in my arms.

Last night it was very hard to get her down, but once I got her down about 10:15pm (which meant she'd been awake for 8 hours!) she slept for almost 5 hours. The good news was that after nursing her an hour she went back down easily. I've decided that her sleeping through the night is not as big of a deal to me right now as her going back to sleep after I've nursed her an hour. If we could get into a routine of me nursing her one hour a night (say 3-4am) that would be fine. It's when it then takes me another hour to get her down that I get really frustrated and more exhausted. After that first long stretch then next stretch is predictably 2 hours at the most, but that would work out fine on days I am taking her to school. Tuesdays are the day that normally she won't come to school. I have a mtg at 2pm though today so either I'll need to pump at school OR she'll need to come with me and Paul will need to come get her at say 4pm and take her home then. I know I would be in pain if I didn't nurse or pump from 1:30-8:00 pm. I've never pumped at work before. Well we shall see which option Paul prefers. He's at PSU now. I didn't get any packing done yesterday, but I plan to get a lot done this morning while Paul's mom is here. I'll take a photo showing how many boxes I have packed thus far. I am making progress!
Now if we could just get Nadia's congestion to clear up! It's been almost FOUR weeks now of her being all stuffed up. :-(

I finally clipped her fingernails for the first time. I had been peeling them off before. She had scratched herself, Paul, and I with them so they definitely needed clipped. I am not sure why I was so scared to do it as it was very easy to use the little clippers on her while she was nursing. I won't wait so long to use them next time. Silly Mommy!

Scale

A couple of weeks ago I bought a new scale as the one we had didn't seem too accurate and it was very hard to read (especially without glasses or contacts on). So I bought a digital scale, and it seems to be pretty accurate both in measuring my weight compared to the doctor's office as well as Nadia's (when I weigh her with me), and even without glasses or contacts I can read it!  I weighed Nadia this morning, and I'd say she's gained 1/2 lb in the last 6 days as she weighed 9lb 9 1/2 oz with her diaper, onesie, and socks on. So she seems to be gaining at her usual pace of one ounce a day. At that pace she'll weigh about 13 pounds at her 4 month appt.

Today she's wearing a newborn size onesie (they still fit her but there's no room for growth whereas the 0-3 month size onesies also fit with a little room for growing) and 0-3 month pants. These pants are too big but unlike some of the other 0-3 month size pants I bought her on Saturday at least they aren't hanging past her feet by a few inches. Paul likes her outfit today. He prefers anything that's not pink. If she will have an expression other than crying later today I'll post a photo. It's been a very tearful day for her although FINALLY I got her down for a nap at 12:20, and she and I both slept 2 hours. Last night the longest stretch was only 4 hours. We went from a 6 hour stretch on Fri pm to 5 hours on Sat pm to 4 hours on Sun pm, and again it took us four hours to get her to bed. We can get her to sleep long before then, but she'll last anywhere from 5-20 minutes before she wakes up crying and we have to go at it again.

Putting her to sleep is a full-time job requiring FAR more than 8 hours a day of my time. It took me over 3 hours to get her down for her nap this morning. I took her in the sling for a walk and by 9am she was asleep and I kept walking for 20 minutes to make sure she was really out and then put her in the crib but alas she woke up less than 5 minutes later. I had her to sleep again an hour later but that nap was also very short (20 minutes tops). Of course I had tried nursing her in bed somewhere along the way (along with rocking in the rocking chair, etc.), but in the end that was the trick that worked (she slept in bed with me) when I went back to try it again. I never recall caring for a baby who took THIS much effort to put to sleep. For example I was up with her from 3-4am last night trying to get her back down after nursing her from 2-3am. Sometimes putting her to bed awake works (it worked at 4am) whereas others it doesn't (such as at 3am when I rescued her after she cried for 15 minutes).