Busy Day!

 Yesterday Nadia slept too much during the day - particularly in the early evening. We went on our first walk as a family of three yesterday afternoon. Paul carried her in the Snugli. It was her first time being in the Snugli. Boy am I out of shape! I think we went about 2 miles RT and that was enough for me. I will gradually build myself up to our usual route. Unfortunately whatever calorie benefit I got from the walk was probably cancelled out by dinner at Applebee's as they were having the 3 course deal for $9.99 which I couldn't resist as I love their chocolate mousse. :-) It was really nice to have dinner out though. It felt like the first time in along time that Paul and I could have a long conversation together about this and that. She slept through the walk, Applebee's and Walmart so that was too much sleeping in the late afternoon/early evening. Thanfully Paul stayed up with her from 9:30pm - 12:30am so I could get some sleep. I fed her when she woke up at 1:15am and again at 2:15, 3:00, etc. So it wasn't a great night, but since Paul stayed up with her those first 3 hours that meant I did get a decent amount of sleep altogether.

Anyhow today was a busy day as Paul's mom and niece came over for about 90 minutes this morning during which time they babysat Nadia so I could do some cleaning for the party. Brandi also helped me some with cleaning, and they gave Nadia a bath so she'd be ready for her pictures. Then I took Nadia with me to my hair appt. My beautician wanted to meet Nadia. She gave me a baby gift - how sweet and unexpected! Paul came and got her part way through the appt (I called him) as she wasn't sleeping well in the car seat that I brought into the beauty salon. I got home and changed really quickly and then we left for the photo appt at Sears.

Nadia had been screaming at home when Daddy changed her diaper and her clothes (maybe in part bc he had her dress on backwards? LOL), but she was a GEM for the photos. She was sleepy so her eyes weren't always open, but she was very good and we only needed to use the pacifier to help her stop crying at the very end. Then she slept while we picked out which photos to purchase. It was hard to decide. The special effects they do to the photos were nice but too pricey in our opinion so we narrowed it down to just the regular ones. I had a coupon to get one 10x13, one 8x10, two 5x7, 8 wallets, and 16 mini's for $10 total which seemed like a good deal, but all of those had to be from the same pose. We ended up picking one where she was lying on a white blanket with her eyes open (total body shot). I had ironed her dress that morning, but it wrinkles easily. I should have waited until we got to Sears to put it on her. Lesson learned! The peter pan collar also was a challenge to keep down (didn't want it hiding her face!) so again lesson learned; I will stick with dresses without a collar for future photo shoots. The other shots I really liked were one of Paul kissing her, one of her hand wrapped around one of my fingers, and one of me looking down at her. Paul really liked this close up photo of just her face (her eyes were opened for that one also). So we ended up buying for ourselves (we'll give most of the other photos away to friends and family) one sheet that is a collage. The big picture is of the three of us (not the best of Paul but they only took one shot of that pose of the three of us), and then on the right there are three different small photos. The top one will be of Paul kissing Nadia, the middle one the close up of her face that was Paul's favorite, and the bottom one of myself & Nadia. They had taken two poses of me with Nadia and surprisingly they both were nice (I usually don't like pics of myself). The collage was $30 so that was our splurge, but I think it will be really nice. So altogether we spent $42.38 which wasn't too bad considering the first packages we were offered started at $120 and went up from there! I figure we can do the hand photo at home. They also had one of her feet in Paul's hands which we could pose ourselves as well.

I think I'll take her either back to Sears or to Walmart in late November for a Christmas photo. She'll be 5 months old then. Wow. I remember someone told me that she almost had the "perfect birthday." This person said that the perfect birthday is 6-25 as it's exactly 6 months before/after Christmas. It is nice to have more separation between Christmas and one's bday. Paul's bday is Jan 3 and that's not the greatest day to have one's bday although not as bad as my friend, Sharon, whose bday is December 25.

Five Weeks Old!

Well last night was a case of "three steps forward, two steps back" with last night being the "two steps back" part. I honestly have no idea how I functioned on 2-3 hours of sleep a night those first few weeks as I probably got 5 hours last night and I feel awful. Unfortunately she woke up EVERY hour with the exception of the last stretch when she did go 2 hours (4-6am). There was one point in particular when I wanted to pull my hair out. I had fed her for an hour and changed her diaper and she was wide awake. I let her cry for a really long time and even that didn't work. I finally nursed her in bed, and she fell asleep with us. Paul carried her to bed when he got up at 3am to keep working on his thesis defense. Hopefully tonight will be a better night.

We planned to go to the defense together (the 3 of us), but then Paul made an appointment to meet with his advisor again this morning and he also is going to a dinner this evening that a student is hosting for the chemistry grad students who defended last week or are defending this week. So I would have needed to drive there separately. If Nadia would sleep in the car, that would work fine, but after our experience on Sunday where she screamed almost the whole way to and from church, I wasn't up for potentially 90 minutes (RT) of her screaming. My plan had been that Paul would drive, and I would sit in the back seat and give her a bottle or pacifier if she was unhappy. So anyhow I am rather tearful today as I really wanted to be there even though I know I wouldn't understand much of his presentation. I am very proud of him. He got all dressed up - he even took a tie with him and he usually only wears a tie when attending a wedding or funeral. Well I will certainly be praying for him at 1pm.

Today I dressed Nadia in the green polka dotted dress that I brought to the hospital to be her "going home" outfit. It was given to me by the senior choir and handbell choir. It's size 0-3 months, and it's still too big for her, but I am afraid that she won't grow into this size before the weather gets cooler, so I decided to have her wear some of the 0-3 month clothing from time to time. At least a dress is more "forgiving" than say a short outfit. I don't think it's supposed to go all the way to her ankles though. :-) Paul likes the ladybugs on the dress. I will take a photo later of her and add it to this post.

Napping in the pack n play didn't work this morning BUT napping in the boppy on the couch did. That seems to be progress as at least she's not in my arms, and I can get up and do stuff. Thanks for the input on which dress to have her wear on Thursday afternoon. Although I like the white & pink flowered dress better, I agree that the purple polka dotted one would be better for the photos. Plus Paul likes purple on her a lot more than pink so purple dress it is!

Progress!

Well Nadia took 45 minutes of a nap in her pack n play this afternoon. It's been quite awhile since she's slept more than 5-10 minutes in either her pack n play or crib during the day. I keep thinking why is it no problem for her to sleep in her crib at night but it is during the day?!? This morning she didn't sleep in bed with me at all either which was also a good thing as usually her last stretch is with me. I even tried letting her cry it out in her crib earlier this afternoon to no avail (of course I caved after 5 minutes so maybe it would have worked if I hadn't caved so soon). I am going to borrow a swing from Allison (Thanks!) to see if she likes them or not. I am grateful she'll stay in the bouncer for a few minutes, but it's usually only about enough time for me to go to the bathroom and make a short phone call or something like that. It would have been nice this morning for example when I was giving Paul a haircut if she would have enjoyed staying in the bouncer. A lot less crying would have been involved!

We got good news this morning that the appraisal hadn't taken place yet on the house we were hoping to buy (it had already taken place on our home). So that means if we aren't eventually able to buy that house, we're "only" out the $430 we paid for the inspections. That's not wonderful, but it's better than being out $730! And maybe we will buy that house some day so we won't be out any $$ over this failed offer on our home. The realtor is suggesting we lower the price on our house again. We've lowered it twice so far, but it's been awhile. I agree with her but want to discuss it with Paul tonight (he's at school) before I answer her email.

Tomorrow Nadia and I will be going with Paul to his university to watch his defense. He kept working on his thesis this weekend, and it's now 102 pages long! My hubby does not like to write At All so that is truly amazing!!! Now he needs to finish his PowerPoint for his defense which is at 1pm tomorrow. I'm hoping he won't have too many revisions to make as I'm really hoping to see him a bit more Wed-Sun before he starts at PSU next Monday. Of course he also needs to study for his entrance exams which are next week so he'll be busy the rest of the week, but maybe he'll have time to take at least one walk with us and maybe we can go out to eat to dinner once to celebrate my promotion to Associate Professor and his completion of his Master's Degree? We're going to Sears for photos on Thursday afternoon. I am hoping Nadia will cooperate!

First Laugh!

I can't believe I forgot to mention it in yesterday's post, but I heard Nadia laugh for the first time yesterday afternoon! Of course it was NOT purposeful (she was sleeping), but it was such a sweet sound and such a sweet expression on her face! I can't wait until she smiles and laughs purposefully, but until then I will enjoy these!!! If only I had been videotaping her while it happened so I could share it with you all! :-)

Yesterday evening my friend, Cheri, her husband, Eric, and grandniece, Bianca, stopped over to meet Nadia. Bianca kept saying what a cutie Nadia is; of course I agree! :-)

We are now on a good roll as far as sleeping at night! Although the longest stretch was 3.5 hours, over a period of 11.25 hours I got 8.75 hours of sleep! That's the most I've gotten in one night in the last month!!! Naps aside from on Mommy are atill a struggle. I've tried the bouncer, and she'll stay in it for a few moments on vibrate, but that's it so far. I don't own a swing. If I knew she'd like it I'd buy one, but I'm having a hard time deciding given how $$ they are.

Another good night!

Nadia went to sleep at 8:30pm and didn't wake up for 4.5 hours! I nursed her from 1-2am, 4-4:45am, and 5:45-6:15am. I got up at 7:00am so that I could eat breakfast, shower, and get ready for church while she was still sleeping. She woke up around 8:00am. This means over a period of 11.5 hours Mommy got 8 1/4 hours of sleep and Nadia got 9 1/4 hours! How wonderful is that! I have to add that she never cried when I put her down any of those times either. :-) Now if she could just learn to nap somewhere besides on Mommy during the day! The sling only works if I am standing or walking and the car seat doesn't work At All. My mom is going to buy a sleep positioner at Target and bring that up on Friday so maybe that will help? I love snuggling with the gal but she needs to take at least some naps in either her pack n play or crib!

I was wishing our home was closer to church today as she screamed almost the whole 25 minute ride home. Stopping for gas and also going through the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts for lunch did not help. I had nursed her for about 15-20 minutes at church before we left and that was not enough!!! She did great during church though. The violin solo was much nicer than the trumpet solo last week. :-) Hopefully she'll like the solo next week because it will be played by her Mommy (flute).

I think she looks downright adorable in her new dress today (from her Great Aunt Debbie). I am hoping that the 3 of us will go to Sears on Thursday for her first professional baby pictures, and I don't know which dress to have her wear - the one she wore last Sunday (white with bright pink flowers) or this one that she wore today (purple with brown polka dots). I would appreciate your input!!!

FIVE hours!

Nadia went to sleep at 9:45pm (without ANY crying) and slept one hour (I slept 30 minutes of that time as we were watching Monk until 10pm and then I had to get ready for bed). Then she was up for an hour (I did try to put her down after 30 minutes and even let her cry 5 minutes) and then she slept for FIVE hours (no crying this time either). WOOHOO! That's a first!!! When I got her this time the poor gal was in a very messy diaper which had spilled onto her clothing, swaddling blanket, etc. She was again up for an hour and then slept THREE more hours! I only slept 2 of those as I got up at 7:45 thinking I could quickly eat my breakfast before she woke up as most days she seems to wake up around 8am. Well if I had known she was going to sleep another hour I would have stayed in bed also! Live and learn. :-)

I looked up Nadia's height & weight on a chart, and for a one month old she is in the less than 5th %ile for both. For a newborn (since she should only be 1 week old) she'd be in the 50th for length and 25th for weight. Will she hit the milestones (i.e. first social smile) based on her age or EDD?

Here are seven of the lessons I've learned in the last month (in no particular order). I am sure I have many, many more to learn over the next 18+ years with Nadia!

1. Stain remover should be put on clothing that has been in contact with poo - ASAP! The first time she had a poopy diaper that got onto her clothing (I think it was 7-3), I thought as long as I threw the items (onesie and outfit) into the wash in the near future that it would be fine. WRONG! Since then I have put color safe bleach on the spot as soon as it's discovered (after taking the item off Nadia of course) and so no more clothing has been permanently stained since then. This color safe bleach has a copyright date on it of 1993 so as you can see, prior to Nadia's arrival, I didn't use it much, LOL! I think it will be much sooner than 15 years before I buy another bottle. :-)

2. Nadia likes to be swaddled except she wants her hands to be free. Thankfully we now own two swaddling blankets so we have one to use even if one gets soiled. The BRU one is much cuter (butterflies) but actually the one from Walmart (yellow polka dots) is actually designed in a way that she doesn't work her legs out of it unlike the BRU one.

3. I should have gone "cold turkey" with the shield a lot sooner than I did. Tomorrow morning we can say it has been one week since we've used it. Moving them out of my reach was definitely the way to learn to go without them. Yesterday I nursed her easily in my office and also the doctor's office - without a shield or a boppy. I still use the boppy at home, but the fact I nursed her easily without any pillow or anything shows we've come a LONG way!!!

4. Nadia definitely knows I'm her Mommy. Although we could tell this even in the hospital, it's very obvious here at home. Unfortunately the main way we can tell is that she is very different with Daddy. She doesn't cry or squirm when Mommy changes her diaper but does with Daddy, etc. Daddy just hasn't had much time with her so hopefully once he does then she'll start to realize what a special man he is in her life!! Daddy hasn't been able to get a burp out of her yet either, but Mommy has figured that out.

5. Naps are VERY important for Mommy to take! Most of my life I took VERY few naps (maybe 3 a year?). Paul has always accused me of being "anti-naps," LOL. Well this was a lesson I learned in pgcy (how to take naps and enjoy them) and have continued to learn since she's been born. Even though I got 7 1/2 hours of sleep last night, I still feel tired and will take at least one nap today. Naps are good although I doubt they'll become permanent, but until I am regularly back to 8-9 hours of sleep a night, I will take a nap every day if at all possible.

6. I don't have to change the crib sheets as often as it seems most moms do (unless maybe this is normal for her age and will change in time?). It was suggested that I get sheet savers and more than one sheet and more than one mattress cover which I did. Well last night was the first night I wished I had placed her on the sheet saver as then that's all I would have needed to wash, but really considering we've been home for 3+ weeks, it was about time for me to wash her sheet and mattress cover! She doesn't spit up much (maybe twice total and neither time in bed) and if I keep a onesie on her then her diaper stays in place and rarely do we have leakage. That was my mistake last night - I went without the onesie under her long sleeve, footed sleeper. I won't make that mistake again any time soon as her diaper tends to migrate without a onesie.

7. I have learned to type blog posts & emails with one hand (R or L) while nursing. :-)

This photo was taken yesterday in an outfit from Great Aunt Debbie. Paul thinks Nadia is going to be like her Mommy & use her hands a lot when she talks. :-)

Sixteen Ounces!!!

Nadia gained an entire pound in the last 14 days. WOOHOOO! She weighed 5lbs 12 1/4 oz two weeks ago and 6lbs 12 1/4 oz today!!!! YAHOOOO! We don't need to come back to the doctor for one MONTH!!! What happy news!!! I have to say I think the way they measure the length of a baby seems rather innaccurate. We've had measurements over the past month ranging from LESS than 19 inches (to which I said - did she shrink? and then the nurse in the NICU changed the measurement) to as many as 21 inches. I didn't believe the 21" two weeks ago because 2 days before that they said she was 20", and I didn't think she grew 1" in 2 days. Well today they had her as 19 1/2" which is 1/4" more than they said she measured at birth.

I asked the doctor about her cold hands, and she said it was normal, that some even turn blue. Yikes I am glad that never happened! I also asked the doctor if there were any tips for getting Nadia to sleep in the pack n play or crib for her naps. She again said this is very normal for newborns and that some babies won't take naps in cribs until they are 4 months old. She suggested using a sling when I need to get work done. It is true she will sleep in the sling. She also suggested having her take naps in her car seat. I think we'll give that a whirl! My mom also suggested a sleep positioner. She did like them in the NICU so I think those are worth a try as well. Grandma will buy one at Target and bring it next week. :-)

I realized that I had been saying for the last month that I pushed for 3 1/2 hours when actually I pushed for almost 4 1/2! I was fully dilated by 1:15, and I pushed with every contraction from that point until they told me to stop when getting me ready for the c-section. I read that for the first time mother 1-2 hrs is normal and that "posterior babies may have a more difficult time passing through the pelvis, which may cause pushing to be more difficult or require more than 2 hours of pushing." Nadia was in posterior position. I wonder if there is a limit at how many hours they allow pushing to continue?

The sleep report for last night would be that although the longest stretch was 2 1/2 hours, she did sleep a total of 7 hours over a period of 9 hours. I got 6 hours of sleep as Daddy got me at 6am to help him on his thesis. Thankfully it was submitted by email this morning (about 90 pgs total).

Speaking of weight, I forgot to weigh myself at the doctor's office today. I admit I am a bit discouraged. My tops fit fine, but shorts that button or zip don't fit - even the ones that were rather loose last summer. Thankfully I own 3 pairs of shorts with elastic waistbands, but I'm getting a little tired of them! So how long does it take to fit back into pre-pg clothes? I guess I need to start exercising.

I have so many stargazer lilies in bloom right now. Besides the fact that they're gorgeous, they smell so pretty! It's a pleasure to walk by the front porch. :-)

One Month Old

Nadia is one month old today! I am very happy to say that she went to sleep at 10:30pm (after crying for 5 min) and didn't wake up for 4 hrs. Whew... Then she woke up on the hour three times in a row before sleeping another 2 1/2 hrs. The last 2 1/2 hrs she slept with me; the rest of the night she slept in her crib. And once again I managed her on my own so Daddy could keep working on his thesis. Today I helped him with that - did the page numbering, table of contents, table of figures, etc. Hopefully he'll submit it to his committee members this evening. There will be some relief once it's "off" but then he has to work on the PowerPoint for his defense and such so most likely I won't really get my hubby back until after that's over on Tuesday. I hope tonight he at least sleeps in our bedroom rather than the family room couch as I've now slept alone for a month (well I did share a bed with my mom for two nights in the NICU demo room but of course that's different).

Sleeping has not gone well for Nadia today. She wanted to take her morning nap on me and since I was wanting a nap myself I let her. However when she woke up at 10:45 I decided her next nap would be in the pack n play or crib. Well I let her cry 5 minutes one time, 10 minutes another, and even 15 minutes one time and it didn't work. Eventually at 5pm I caved and decided it was more important she got some SLEEP as she hadn't gotten more than a couple of minutes here and there since 10:45am so I let her sleep for 2 hours (most of the time with me and some with her Great Aunt Debbie). Then I woke her up at 7pm as I could imagine that could have turned into our one four hour stretch which I didn't want to happen. She was very hard to wake up, but eventually I got her awake and fed her. So I am very open to suggestions as to how to get Nadia to sleep in a crib or pack n play during the day. I need to break her of this habit of sleeping on or beside me. The let her cry theory seems to work at night - at least it has 3 times now. Thanks to those who gave feedback. My mom and Lucia both said they waited until 3-4 months to let a baby cry and Lisa and Jo both said they let their children cry even at a young age. So far letting her cry has worked in the night time and has not worked during the day time. Hopefully tonight will be more like last night and less like two nights ago.

After Paul's mom had her 5th chemo treatment today (only one more to go!), she and her sister stopped by so that Debbie could meet Nadia. Debbie brought her two new outfits (newborn size) and some socks -the good kind! By good kind I mean the kind that stay on (bobby socks). :-) I also have learned what is the "good" kind of bottle for Nadia at least of the ones I own - Evenflo's Comfi bottles are the best for her in terms of milk not running out of her mouth. I bought those 3 years ago in preparation for adoption. One of the outfits Aunt Debbie gave her was a dress that I plan to have her wear to church this Sunday. It's purple, and she looks good in purple so she should look rather adorable again this Sunday! Nadia has 3 aunts and 4 uncles. She hasn't met any of them yet, but she's now met two of her Great Aunts (my Aunt Janet and Paul's Aunt Debbie). She's met 3 of her four grandparents; she has yet to meet Grandpa Harton but will meet him next weekend. She also has already met her only Great Grandparent. She's met 2 of her 8 cousins. She'll meet one more on August 2 - her oldest cousin, Holly who is in her 20's. It will be awhile until she'll meet her cousins on my side of the family.

We got the official termination of the contract today on the house. The realtor said in her almost 20 years of being a realtor she's never had a buyer terminate for such a low level of radon. Well obviously we need to put in a radon mitigation system which costs about $750 or so to do. The house we are hoping to buy has one installed and with that the radon level was less than 2 when we had it tested a couple of weeks ago. Maybe we'll still end up buying that house some day. Who knows. I am not nearly as upset about it as I was yesterday. Sleep really helps to improve one's perspective on life!

I was thinking today a lot about one month ago and the experience of being in labor. It's funny as with the fact we waited 6 years to have Nadia, you think I'd have it figured out that life rarely goes "as planned." I had thought through my "birth plan" in terms of not wanting to be induced, not wanting a c-section (so relieved when the placenta previa was resolved although in the end I would have been better off if it hadn't as then I would have had a planned c-section and avoided 19 hours of labor), not wanting to have an epidural, wanting to nurse her ASAP after birth, etc. Well a couple of things did go as I hoped - Paul was at home when I went into labor. I was concerned he might be at school (45 minutes away) and someone else might need to take me to the hospital. Also, I was hoping my water would break first so that it would be really obvious I was in labor. I wasn't wanting to keep going to the hospital for "false alarms." In hindsight, I had been having REAL contractions for a few days (very sporadic). I thought they were different than the BH, but since I hadn't been in labor before, I couldn't be sure. In fact on that Monday morning when I went to the doctor because of the bleeding, I had a real contraction while driving and immediately pulled over and asked Paul to drive the rest of the way as I realized I was not a safe driver while having contractions!

However almost everything else didn't go as planned or hoped for. I was hoping not to go into labor at night as I don't function well those hours. Even as a child/ teenager I didn't enjoy staying up late. I was always the first to sleep at a slumber party! Since I ended up going into labor prior to midnight, I changed my mind about the epidural as I wanted a few hours of sleep before the pushing began. But then I was told I couldn't have one because of my platlet problem. I still don't get that. I plan to ask the hematologist about it at my next appt. And although I didn't want to be induced - I did end up receiving three doses of pitocin. If I had to do it over again, I would have accepted the pitocin earlier in the day than when I did accept it. The timing of when they gave it to me was awful as the last dose was given very shortly before the pushed her head back inside me and told me to stop pushing. Let me tell you it is very hard to not push when you're fully dilated and having a contraction well it's even harder when you add pitocin into the mix. They were telling me - for your daughter's sake don't push. Again it's not that I wanted to do anything to hurt her but it was like trying to defy gravity to NOT push. Of course I ended up having a c-section. I wish they had told me before they asked me if I wanted "help" that if the vacuum didn't work I'd HAVE to have a c-section. I don't think I would have agreed to the vacuum had I known. I can tell you Paul would never agree to a vacuum attempt again after he watched that 3 times and thought Nadia's life was in danger! I never would have dreamed that both Paul or I would miss hearing her first cry and that I wouldn't see her for over 3 hours after she was born. Paul and his parents saw her a few minutes after birth, but I didn't meet Nadia until 9pm. And I looked AWFUL. Many women have nice looking photos of mom and their baby right after birth (or mom, dad, and baby). Mine look TERRIBLE and are only of me & baby. I haven't posted them on the blog. I am glad they were taken as they do memorialize the first time I laid eyes on Nadia, but wow do I look terrible after 19 hours of labor and then general anesthesia. One positive I have to say though is that I think this was my best experience ever with general anesthesia. I think every other time I have thrown up in the recovery room, but not this time! Amazing! I do remember that one of the first questions I asked when I "came to" was what her apgar scores were, LOL (9/9). I also remember that I got the nurses to laugh as they were arguing between themselves as to whether I was awake or not as they were wheeling me back to my room and one asked which room is she in, and I piped in with "5" and they laughed and determined I must be awake, LOL. As for nursing her within moments of birth, I actually didn't nurse her for the first time until two DAYS later.

The other thing I would do differently if I could go back in time was I would have waited to push when I had a contraction. Once the doctors came into the room (about 5:15pm after having pushed for 1 hour by myself and 3 additional hours with Yvonne and Paul holding my legs), I felt very intimiated. There were about 7 doctors around my bed - some OB/GYNs and some NICU pediatricians. I felt badly making them wait in between contractions (albeit they were at most 5 minutes apart). Why it bothered me so much, I don't know, but I felt the need to push nonstop while they were all there staring at me. So sometimes I pushed even when I wasn't having a contraction. I wish I hadn't done that, but probably the end result would have been the same. Of course whether things went as planned or not doesn't really matter as the bottom line is that Nadia arrived safe and sound! The only decision of mine that negatively impacted her was my agreeing to the vacuum. That also probably lengthened our stay in NICU as the bruising raised her bilirubin levels. However we are both doing fine now and that's what matters most! I thank God for this precious gift of life He has bestowed upon our family. We love her sooo much!!

Well here's to hoping for a decent amount of sleep tonight, a buyer for our home, and Paul's successful completion of his thesis. Tomorrow is the big day in terms of Nadia's doctor appt. I am very curious as to her weight! It's hard for me to see a difference since I see her every day, but those who see her less often say they can tell she's gaining weight which is music to my ears!!

Napping on Mommy

Last night was a rough night. Between 9pm and 4:30am I got only about 90 minutes of sleep. I was determined not to pass her off to Paul at all in light of really getting to the last minute on his thesis. At 4:30 I decided to let her cry herself to sleep and thankfully after 5 minutes of screaming she fell asleep and then slept until 8:00am. She's had a rough time napping today as well unless she's napping on me she doesn't want to sleep in either the pack n play or crib. I tried letting her cry herself to sleep earlier and even that didn't work, but I just tried it again a little bit ago and this time it worked and finally for the first time today she is napping someplace other than on Mommy (however this time she only slept 20 minutes so it wasn'y really that succesful). Not that I don't like cuddling with her, but I don't think ALL naps should be on me! I had asked Dr. M about whether to let her cry herself to sleep a couple of weeks ago, and Dr. M said not to do that at this age. So that's why I had been very hesitant to let her cry. Ever since the time in the NICU when they were so cautious about how many calories she was burning, I have been paranoid about letting her cry. Well if I had to do it over again (last night) I would have let her cry herself to sleep earlier in the night. Of course I would only do that if I knew she had a clean diaper and her belly was full. So my question today is, how long do you let a 4 week old cry? I was comfortable letting her cry for 5 minutes (of course I don't enjoy listening to the little gal scream but I mean I thought it was okay for her to cry that long). Anyone know a good rule of thumb in terms of how long to let her cry? Once I know for sure we are out of the woods as far as her weight goes it will be easier to let her cry without worrying about how many calories she's burning. She gets weighed again on Friday.

To answer a few questions posed in the comments of other posts. No, I never got any stretch marks and my belly button never popped out. Of course it probably helped that I gave birth at 36w. It is nice to have my belly button back to normal. Nadia's is still definitely an outie though! As for nursing in public, I don't plan to do that but more just wanted something to use when I am at home and say my father-in-law or someone like that is here while I need to nurse her. Latching on at times is still a MAJOR ordeal (without a shield). Sometimes it takes quite a long time, and there is no way a regular blanket would work. It would definitely fall off!!! Sometimes I just want to throw the towel in when it comes to b/fing, but I know it's best for her plus a lot cheaper than formula.

Four Weeks Old!

Well I have been a bit delinquent in terms of taking photos of my flowers as they bloom, but these stargazer lilies are my favorite so I had to take a photo this morning.

Nadia is 4 weeks old today! She has changed so much already!! Her hair has grown quite a bit so hopefully she won't be one of those whose hair falls out. Nadia's eyes are still blue like her daddy's, but I know we won't know for sure if they're going to stay blue until a couple more months have passed. She's finally starting to grow some eyebrows also. Her nails are getting longer also, but I can hold off on trimming them. She is OFF the shield!!! Cold turkey was the way to go. It's been more than 48 hours since she's used one so I think it's safe to say those are "history" now. Yahoo! In many ways she takes after her Daddy, but I can identify at least two ways she takes after me - #1 hiccups a lot (my parents say I did that a lot as a baby also) and #2 has cold hands. Hopefully in time we'll learn some more "positive" ways she takes after me like maybe she'll also enjoy playing the piano or something like that. :-)

Friday and Saturday nights we didn't have any 4 hour stretches of sleep, but Sunday night she went 4 hours again at one point and then up once every hour after that. Last night was her BEST night ever. She slept for 3 hours and then another 3 hours and then 1 hour and the 2 hours. WOW! We've never had TWO stretches of 2+ hours in one night before. WOOHOO! I didn't go to bed right when she did but still I managed to get almost 8 hours of sleep last night!!! The odd thing is that even when I get more sleep I still feel tired. I guess it will take awhile til I'm "caught up" but still I am very, very grateful to be getting 5-8 hours of sleep on average compared to the 2-4 hours on average the first 3 weeks.

She also is staying awake a LOT more. Yesterday she was awake almost the whole morning while her Grandma and cousin, Brandi were watching her. While they were here I mowed the lawn (most of it anyhow) and did 2 loads of laundry. Then after they left Nadia and I took a 2 hour nap (she napped on top of me). She had been staying awake more and more each day, but yesterday was a very dramatic change in terms of the number of hours she had her eyes open.

I was going to go to ladies Bible study this morning as it's the last time they'll meet until mid September, but I changed my mind yesterday and decided I needed to just stay home today. Donna is coming over this afternoon to rehearse a flute solo with me (for August 3) and also to help me do a little packing. I haven't done ANY packing yet. I plan to do most of it August 4-8 since Paul's party will be on the 2nd. Nadia will get to meet her Uncle Maurice, Grandpa Harton, Uncle Al, and Aunt Millie that day! We are going to move our boxes and some small furniture to the new home on August 9 and then the movers will move the big furniture on the 11th.

I also need to get back to doing a little school work as I have two things I must submit by August 5. Paul is getting VERY little sleep these days as he works on finishing his thesis. He hopes to finish writing it today so that tomorrow he can work on formatting it, doing the table of contents, abstract, etc. It will be SUCH a relief when he submits it (hopefully tomorrow) and even more of a relief once his defense is done (next Tues). I can't wait for him to stop sleeping on the couch and start sleeping in our bed again for one thing! I miss my hubby!!

I'll close by sharing two funny things her Daddy has said to her over the past week. Once he was looking at her and said "if she's as smart as she is cute, she'll be like Einstein." I think that means her Daddy thinks she's awfully cute!! Then once last week when she was really screaming while I was trying to nurse her he said that he was going to have to send her to her room. LOL getting sent to her room at only 3 weeks old, and she was born prematurely at that! Of course she didn't actually get sent to her room. :-)

Magnet!

Well Nadia was like a magnet at church this morning, everyone wanted to meet her! I purposefully got to church about 20 minutes before the morning service as I knew people would want to see her. We also didn't leave until 12:30 as others came over to me to meet her after the service. One woman even shed tears of joy when she saw our precious little answer to prayer, and this brought happy tears to my eyes as well.

She wasn't too crazy about the trumpet solo this morning, and this woke her up so that I left the service to nurse her for awhile before I returned to the service. They have the sound piped into the room for nursing women so I was still able to hear the service while feeding her. I had forgotten the shield and of course didn't have the boppy so it was a challenge at first, but I found a pillow and that helped a lot. This experience made me decide that maybe going cold turkey is the best way to go as far as the shield so although she's shed more tears while nursing than usual, we haven't used the shield today and hopefully the cold turkey approach will work tonight as well.

Then Paul's parents and Grandmother came over. Nadia's Great Grandmother really enjoyed holding her. Before going to Cracker Barrel, we made a quick trip to Walmart. She sleeps when she's in the sling.

So it was a good day, but now I'm exhausted as I wasn't able to take any naps today. Hopefully she'll let me get a decent amount of sleep tonight. Paul's mom is coming over tomorrow to watch Nadia while I mow the lawn as it hasn't been mowed since my mom mowed it on July 1-2. Normally we couldn't go that long without mowing it, but it hasn't rained much at all so the grass hasn't grown much. Enjoy the photos of our sweet Nadia!

3 questions

Let me say she looks GORGEOUS in her pretty dress (peter pan type collar and it has a petticoat underneath!). We gave her a bath this morning (she didn't cry this time!), and she's dressed and ready for her first trip to church! I've been taking a nap most mornings so I hope I find another time to take one today as she didn't sleep as well last night although I did get at least 5 hours of sleep. Then this afternoon Paul's parents are coming over and she will be meeting her Great Grandmother for the first time. Then this evening she'll have her first trip to a restaurant as we are meeting Clark and his girlfriend at Cracker Barrel to celebrate his 40th bday. Whew... busy day considering most days Nadia and I just stay home all day and aren't on any schedule.

Here are my questions that I'd appreciate input from you experienced moms:
1. Do you have a particular nursing cover/privacy wrap that you recommend? I see some available at Walmart and BRU and wasn't sure if one kind was better than another. Just using a blanket does NOT work for me. She squirms too much especially in the initial latching on stage.

2. It seems EVERY time that I change her diaper, within 1 minute of getting the clean diaper on, I can hear her pooping. Is this normal? I was wondering if maybe the act of wiping her down there stimulates her body to action??? Of course sometimes she starts pooping before the clean diaper is on. Fun, fun, fun... LOL

3. For those of you who had a c-section, how long was it until you felt totally normal in the incision area? Also, did the scar remain and if so, how long until the scar at least faded (it's still bright red)? Of course I feel a million times better there than I did 3+ weeks ago. OUCH it hurt soooo much at first (especially doing things like getting in and out of bed).

This and That

Earlier this week Paul received a card and $75 from his graduate chemistry classmates. That was a pleasant surprise! Some of them are coming to his graduation party so they'll get to meet Nadia then. :-) Paul is still putting in very long hours working on his thesis. His defense is on the 29th, and he needs to submit his thesis to the four committee members a few days before that. His goal is to submit it to them by the evening of the 23rd. He has 55 pages written so far.

A week ago our mortgage broker did a credit check on me as a part of the mortgage application. He received 3 credit scores and is supposed to use the middle score. My middle score was above 800 which he said is very rare (the highest possible credit score is 850). He said anything over 720 is considered excellent. It's funny how happy it made me when he told me how uncommon my score was. I think it's because I haven't been a student since December 2002 when I earned my doctorate and so I haven't been "graded" lately and this credit score felt like earning an "A" on a test, LOL.

One story I keep forgetting to tell happened during our 8 night stay at the hospital. One day Paul and I went to the vending machines that were closest to the NICU to get a Snickers bar. It cost $1.25, but instead of using a dollar bill, Paul used all coins from my wallet to pay for it. It sounded like the coins were going back to where you could retrieve them, but the machine kept registering the correct value. So he retrieved the candy bar and then checked and sure enough the 5 quarters had been returned to us. So we had a free candy bar. Well we never went back to the vending machine again as to use it knowing it was broken would be stealing. Well others didn't feel the same way. Another day my mom watched as people were feeding one coin in the machine and retrieving it over and over again and taking lots and lots of chips, candy bars, etc. from the vending machine. My mom said something to some of the people doing this, and no one agreed that it was wrong. They felt justified since sometimes vending machines take your money and don't give you what you paid for. My mom even went and told a couple of hospital employees, but they also didn't see anything wrong with people getting "free" food from the vending machine. I think it's sad that so many adults and children didn't view this as wrong even when my mom pointed out to them that they were stealing.

Due Date

Well by my calculations (and those of a few websites), today was Nadia's EDD; the RE had set her EDD as 7-20. Either way she came 3+ weeks early. If she had come this week, she would probably have weighed at least 1 pound more than she did and we probably wouldn't have spent 8 days in the hospital, but she didn't want to wait to meet her mommy and daddy! :-) If she had known being born before 37w meant she had to do that 2 hour car seat sleep study, maybe she would have stayed in a few more days, LOL.

Our sweet little darling slept for 4 straight hours again last night (11pm-3am)! Thank you, Nadia!!! She didn't sleep as well from that point onward, but over a period of 8 hours I think I did get 6 hours of sleep. I am so happy to have these weeks at home with her. I admit right now I am wishing I didn't have to go to work in the fall, but I am very grateful that I'll only be separated from her about 12 hours a week. I just love snuggling with the little gal. She is soooooo cuddable!!! I can't believe I'm saying this as I was so glad to be told I didn't need to come back to the doctor for 2 weeks, but I actually wish I owned a scale that I could use to weigh her. I just want to be assured that she has continued to gain weight. However then I might stress over her weight too much so probably it's for the best to just wait until the 25th for her to be weighed again. I do wonder how much she'll weigh that day! Yesterday she went 18 hours straight without using the shield, but today we've regressed. Hopefully tomorrow that will go better.

The photo of Nadia was taken by Paul yesterday; that's the chair I place her on when I want Paul to watch her for a minute or two (the chair is near his computer). The photo below that is of a cross stitch that Nadia's Great Grandmother made. Paul's dad's mom is our only grandparent who is still alive. The top photo on the right is of a quilt that Paul's Aunt Diane made (she is one of his dad's sisters & lives in Florida). The photos under that are of the little bows that were on the first 2 dresses she wore this week. I love the little bows & frills that are on her clothing like today she's wearing the watermelon outfit she wore home from the hospital 17 days ago & I love the little ruffles on the backside. :-)

I was wrong about us not owing a dime towards the $70K+ hospital bills. We got our first bill in the mail today. Thankfully it was only for $11. Hopefully all the bills (if there are more) will be that small.

Three Cheers!

I want to give three cheers for Nadia - hip, hip, hooray, hip, hip, hooray because over a span of 10 hours I got 7 hours of sleep. That's 2 nights in a row!!!!!! Again Daddy was up with her some, but from midnight to 4am she SLEPT! I woke up at 3am as my body was ready for a feeding, but after seeing she was still sleeping I went back to bed. I'm still working on weaning Nadia off of the shield. There are some feedings when it is not used at all. At least a portion of every feeding is done without it. She's actually gone through several feedings now in a row without having used it. Hopefully in the next week or so we can completely ditch them!

Nadia has LOTS of clothing size 0-3 months. That's the size I got the most of in terms of gifts. Hopefully she'll grow into that size before it gets cold out. Thanks to my recent eBay purchases, I think she now has enough in preemie and newborn sizes except I want to buy one more pack of onesies in newborn the next time I'm at Walmart. I am very thankful for eBay as they don't sell much in preemie size at the mall nearest us plus I can shop from home and get really good bargains!!

Seven Hours!

I estimate that I got 7 hours of sleep last night over the course of 9 hours. Wow!!!! I hope this wasn't a fluke but rather might become the norm. We shall see. I thought I'd feel better this morning than I did in light of getting twice as much sleep, but I guess one night didn't make up for all the sleep I've lost the last 3 weeks. Paul's mom and Brandi came over for a visit, and I napped part of the time they were here. I should add that part of the reason I got that much sleep last night was that Paul helped some between 10pm and 1am. Thanks, Paul!!!

Two more preemie outfits came in the mail today from eBay. Tomorrow she'll be wearing jeans for the first time! I'll take a photo. It amazes me the great variation in size between clothing that is supposedly the same size.

Three Weeks Old!

I can't believe Nadia is already 3 weeks old. Wow! Although there have been some exhausting nights lately (like last night when I only got about 3 hours of sleep total), I still say I have felt SO much more relaxed since #1 coming home from the hospital and #2 finding out on Friday that she had gained weight. It's also been great to have Paul be able to hold her again as usually once during the night I hand her off to him so I can get at least a little sleep. She sleeps better during the day than at night. Hopefully tonight will be a better night.

This morning I gave Nadia a bath. It's the second bath I've given her since her stump fell off. She hates baths. Hopefully in time she'll grow to enjoy them. I also dressed her in a dress for the first time. :-) After feeding her we ran errands for 2 hours this morning, and she slept the whole time in the car seat and in the sling. First I went to the university as Paul wanted a book that my library has that his doesn't (which he needed for writing chapter 4 of his thesis). Then I went to the grocery store and then picked up some pizza at our favorite pizza place. I was so happy that she slept the whole time! I fed her again as soon as we got home (or I should say as soon as I had put away the groceries). So she had her first trip to a grocery store today. Now if only she could go 2+ hours in between feedings during the night (hasn't ever happened!).

One thing that is really special to me is knowing that she knows my voice. I feel badly for Paul as his voice has no effect on her (yet), but hearing my voice calms her down even when I'm not even in the same room with her. Of course she had to listen to me for many months in the womb so it's not shocking she recognizes my voice, but still I have to say it's very touching to me to realize she knows my voice and responds differently to me than to anyone else. It makes me want to cry (happy tears of course!). Thinking about this brought to my mind how the Lord said that His sheep know His voice. That verse has new meaning for me now. In time I am sure she'll get to know her Daddy's voice too. :-) Speaking of Daddy, he hasn't finished chapter 3 yet, but he hopes to finish it tonight. I'd appreciate prayers for him as we're now down to 7 days left for him to finish his thesis.

Much Better!

Well last night went sooo much better. There were two stretches where we went 2 hours in between the start of feedings, and then the rest of the morning she woke up every hour. I felt sooo much better this morning than I did yesterday morning. Hopefully tonight will be another good night because unlike Saturday and Sunday when I took LOTS of naps, I only got one nap today due to working on stuff for the house (mortgage application, etc.). I apologize that there aren't any new photos. I promise to take some tomorrow! Four dresses I bought on eBay came in the mail today, and they are preemie size so they should fit! I am excited to dress her in her first dress tomorrow! It's about time!!!

Stayed Home

Well I was planning to take Nadia to church this morning, but last night was a rough night. I got about 2 consecutive hours of sleep and then maybe 1 hour cumulative the rest of the night. I felt miserable and decided to stay home. Hopefully next Sunday we'll be up to going. A big change with Nadia over the past few days is now she is staying awake more. Her days used to be filled with only eating or sleeping. It's fun to see her eyes open more!

Yesterday we got my billing info in the mail. My stay came to a total of $19,678.97. Thank goodness for health insurance. I don't expect Paul and I will owe a dime towards either bill (which now total over $70K!!). I don't think I mentioned it before, but I did have my 3rd Rhogam shot while in the hospital as Nadia has O+ blood (I have O- and Paul has AB+).

I would never have guessed that my daughter would be 19 days old & have not worn a dress yet. Well it was several days til she could wear any clothing due to the jaundice, but the problem since then is that the smallest dress I had was size 0-3 months. Donna bought her a newborn size dress this week, but even that is still too big at the moment. I have purchased a few things in preemie and newborn on eBay the last several days. Hopefully they will come soon! Preemie fits her perfectly and some newborn. There seems to be a big variation in what is "newborn" size (supposed to be for 5-8 lbs.).

Paul has been busy working on chapter 3 which he plans to send his advisor tomorrow. He has to send the entire (4 chapter) thesis to his 4 committee members by July 23 as he is defending it on the 29th. Paul's advisor's wife sent Nadia two gifts last week from our BRU registry which was really sweet (a wearable blanket and an inchworm toy).

What a relief!

I feel sooo relaxed today for the first time in 2+ weeks. It's such a relief to know Nadia is gaining weight and the next check up isn't for 2 weeks. Whew... There has been so much pressure with feeding her. In the NICU they'd empty her stomach to measure how much she got from me after I nursed her. Then there were all the weight checks. It still amazes me what a big deal the doctors in the NICU made the day she lost 5 grams. It was the first day that all her nutrition was from me (no IV, no formula by stomach tube). I think actually that was pretty amazing that she pretty much held her own that day. There are 28 grams in an ounce so 5 grams is really a very tiny amount!!! Even this Wednesday she was weighed before and after I nursed her. The second reason I feel very relaxed is that our house is under contract! We put it on the market almost exactly 4 months ago. It's so nice to know it won't be shown any more - no more getting everything "just so" and having to leave the house at random times. We were so excited about the offer, but we were nervous since Edward hadn't seen the house yet. It is a tremendous relief now that he has been here and the inspections have been completed (well we won't get the radon test results until Monday). We are soooo grateful that we can move on August 11 as it means Paul will only have a long commute to PSU for just one week! PTL! One thing we will probably miss about this house will be all the wildlife. I am doubting we'll see so much wildlife at our new house. Here are some photos I took yesterday of two turkeys with their babies (the baby turkeys are harder to see but there were quite a few in the photo) as well as of two fawns who were running around chasing each other in our yard several times throughout the day (and again this morning). You can see their mother was very aware of my presence! The other good thing is today I can actually take NAPS (I've already had one this morning!). The doctor appointments and house "stuff" were really interfering with my ability to take naps.

GAINED WEIGHT!

Nadia weighed 5lbs 12 1/4 oz at the doctor's office today. WOOHOO! This was 1.75 ounces more than she weighed on Wednesday and 1.25 more than she weighed when discharged from NICU on 7-1. We don't have to go back to the doctor for 2 weeks!! Today her SS# came in the mail, so I stopped at the HR dept at work after her appt to get her signed up for our health insurance. We definitely need her on our insurance as the statement we got in the mail yesterday for Nadia's medical bills totaled $51,096.48. YIKES!!!

The other good news of the day is that everything went well with the home inspection. All systems are go for the sale of our home! Our buyer even would like to buy our riding mower and snow blower which is an added bonus. We won't need either of these at our new property.

1/2 Ounce

Well Nadia had her first trip on campus today. I stopped in briefly to pick up my mail and introduce her to a few people before her doctor appt. In Nadia's first week of life she lost 7 ounces (probably a little more as the pediatrician weighs her w/ diaper on whereas the NICU didn't). In her second week of life she lost 1/2 ounce. Her weight this morning was 5 lbs 10 1/2 oz (she weighed 6lb 2oz at birth and 5 lbs 11 oz last Wed). She needs to start gaining weight! We go back Friday afternoon for another weight check. I'm praying she'll gain at least one ounce by then. They had me nurse her and then weighed her again. After nursing her about 30 minutes she gained 1/4 ounce.

The first photo is of a balloon I was given by my colleagues two full months ago. I can't believe it's lasted this long!!! The second was taken yesterday. Since Daddy can't hold her (due to poison ivy) when I've been holding her and need to do something (like use the bathroom) this is where I put her (with Paul watching her). She's wearing a preemie outfit that Donna (from church) brought yesterday when she delivered some groceries for us. Thanks, Donna!!! Her daughter had received this outfit, but it didn't fit her granddaughter (as a side note, I had Donna's daughter as a student at the university). The socks she is wearing here were a gift from Cheri. These socks win the prize as they NEVER fell off (and she wore them more than 12 hours). Wow! The other socks she owns tend to fall off pretty easily.

Tomorrow morning Paul will be at the house we are hoping to buy as the inspections (home, radon, pest) are being done. Yesterday he sent his advisor chapter two of his thesis which means he's half-way done. That chapter was 31 pages long. He has about 2 weeks to finish. The man buying our home will be coming to see it Friday morning (for the first time) and then in the afternoon he's having the inspections done (home, radon, water, sewer, and pest). We are praying everything goes well on Friday!!!

My shoes FIT today. WOOHOO! My feet are not 100% back to normal in terms of the swelling, but we're almost there. I weighed myself at the doctor's office and found that I have lost 10 lbs in the last week (water weight I am sure!). Last Tues I wasn't very happy when I was weighed and had only lost 8 lbs. So now I've lost 18 lbs since 6-23 (day I went into labor). I guess the rest of the weight will probably take a lot longer to lose. Once I feel up to exercising that should help. I think I need a little more sleep first though! It's amazing to me how well I am functioning these days on 1/2 the sleep I usually get. So how long does this sleep deprivation state last? Just wondering how many more weeks I have left before I get a more reasonable amount of sleep. Well it will help once Paul is able to hold her again. I have great admiration for single parents having gone 5 days as the only one caring for Nadia!!

Two Weeks Old!

Envelopes bearing Nadia's name have already been making their way to our mailbox. Her first piece of mail arrived on 7-3 (her birth certificate). I thought that was pretty fast! That day we also got a wedding invitation in the mail, and the envelope inside had all three of our names. :-) Yesterday her health insurance card came in the mail; I need to call them as #1 it just said "Baby Girl Kennedy" and #2 they automatically assigned her the same primary care doctor that Paul & I have whereas I actually have selected a pediatrician for her (rather than a family care doctor). Tomorrow she will see Dr. M again. I am praying for good news regarding her weight!!!

I didn't eat any chocolate on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I had a Klondike bar last night which had some chocolate. I am happy to say that her poopy diapers seem the same from Saturday night through Monday night so it doesn't seem to matter whether I eat chocolate or not. I'll continue to monitor that though to make certain what I eat isn't bothering her in any way.

Sunday night was her BEST night in terms of sleep. I got about 5 hours of sleep over a period of 9 hours. WOOHOO! Her fussy period was shorter that night. However then yesterday she had a harder time sleeping in the pack n' play during the day. Of course if she wants to be held I would MUCH rather do so during the day than at 3am. :-) Last night was back to an average night. She nursed almost nonstop from 8pm to 1am. I kid you not. Then finally she started sleeping. Well I will hope for more nights like Sunday night, but until that happens it just means I need to take more naps during the day. It would help A Lot if Paul could hold her. He hasn't held her since Saturday morning before he went to the doctor for his poison ivy.

I am including a photo of the house we are in the process of buying. The couple gave a counter offer which was $5k higher than our offer (which was $10,900 less than their current asking price). We accepted their counter offer! They came down in price $38,900 over the past 4 months. Now to just keep praying that the man who is buying our house won't change his mind. He is coming to see the house at 11:00 on Friday. We are set to close on both houses on August 11.

I also have included a couple of photos of Nadia. I had to take one of her belly button. Someone said her "outie" might become an "innie;" we shall see. I can't wait to be able to post a photo of her smiling. It just melts my heart! Her dimple is just adorable!!!

On my own

Well I survived my first night on my own. Paul was downstairs the whole night. The hardest stretch the last few nights has been from 8pm til midnight or 1am. I get almost no sleep during those hours. I'm hoping tonight will be better. Last night she had another explosive bm, and I hadn't had any chocolate for 2 days. So maybe the nurse was right. I had frozen some brownies so maybe I'll eat one tomorrow and see what happens. The best thing from last night was that we made serious progress on going without the shield. Some feedings it wasn't used at all. It's varied throughout the day today. At least a part of every feeding is done w/o it.

My swelling is going down a lot. My calves are now back to normal. I had almost forgotten what they used to look like, LOL. My feet and ankles have improved some, but they're still not back to normal. I am hopeful though that probably by Tuesday (2 weeks after having her) that they will be their normal size. I want to be weighed at her doctor appt on Wed as the scale didn't show much improvement last Tues, but I think a lot of it was water weight. I've been wearing non-maternity clothes so it seem I must have lost most of the weight. I hope so anyhow!

Nadia met 2 of her 8 cousins today (and cousin #9 will be born in November). Brandi (who will turn 14 in August) was thrilled to hold Nadia. Of course Grandma and Pop Pop also took their turns holding her as well. :-) Shawn (age 12) assembled one of her toys for her (ball popper).

So Sorry!

Nadia is only 11 days old, and already I have apologized to her a few times. I can see that it's easy to be aware of one's faults as a parent. The first time was the day we came home from the hospital, and I took off her hat and realized that the white headband she was wearing was too tight and had left a mark all around her head. I felt awful! The second time was on Thursday night in the middle of the night she was really fussy, and I forgot to check her diaper. The next time I checked it I found she had a HUGE bm that was all up her back, etc. It was crusted on her on some places. I felt terrible! Then I felt even worse when she had another big bm (although I caught that one right away so it stayed in the diaper area), and my mom said probably it was because I had eaten a frosty from Wendy's that night. I felt terrible! I did ask the lactation nurse about that yesterday, and she said that loose bowels are normal for breastfed babies. She didn't think it had anything to do with what I ate. However, she hasn't had another bm like that so I think my mom was right that it was from the frosty. Well although I love chocolate, I love Nadia FAR more; so I will go without if that's necessary!!!

Praying that she'll sleep well tonight since Paul can't help me due to his poison ivy. Also praying for progress on elimination of the shield. She can latch on without it, but she doesn't stay on very long and gets frustrated so then I switch to the shield. At least she nurses for a couple of minutes w/o the shield each time. Well I think I shall catch a nap before the next feeding.

Daddy's Turn

Well Mommy and Nadia have been seen by plenty of doctors and nurses the past 12 days. Today was Daddy's turn. Even though Grandma was the one who did the yard work this week (she used a riding mower for the first time and also weeded our flower beds), Paul somehow got poison ivy on his arms. He hasn't had it in a few years. He is very careful to wear gloves and such to avoid getting it as when he gets it - he gets a very bad case of it. The only thing he did outside was show my mom how to use the riding mower; so it is a mystery how he got it. He has been using Calamine lotion and taking Tylenol Allergy and such but hasn't gotten much relief. It's mostly on his arms so he's been trying to be careful not to pass it on to Nadia or myself. The doctor gave him some steroids and said he shouldn't hold Nadia for a week. EEK! I am overwhelmed by this.

 

I forgot to mention earlier that the glider was delivered on Wednesday afternoon. I slept on the couch in the living room on Tuesday night since it hadn't arrived yet, but I slept in our bed and Nadia slept in her crib on Wednesday night since I could make use of the glider for nursing. It is VERY comfortable!!! I will take a photo of it later. Thank you, Mom and Dad (Christmas gift)! It was supposed to be delivered 3 weeks after we ordered it. If that had happened, it would have arrived before Nadia even though she came 24 days early, but the timing still worked out well since we were in the hospital longer than expected.

Her early arrival meant the summer session wasn't quite over when she arrived. I taught Monday night and then 2 hours later my water broke. The last class was to be on Wednesday night as well as the final exam so on Wednesday morning I made arrangements for someone to proctor the exam. My department chair said my students could be let out early (only take the exam that night). I emailed the answer key as well. Thankfully the exam was multiple choice. Many times I give essay exams and that would have been a nightmare this time! A secretary emailed me the results (graded by Scantron), and I was able to post the exam and attendance grades (which I had to do from memory as the attendance sheets were in my office) on Blackboard using my laptop in the hospital room (thank goodness for wireless internet access!). The grades had to be submitted to the Registrar by noon on Wed. Normally I submit my grades the first day they can be submitted (which would have been Friday in this case). However, this time I didn't finish until about 2 hours before the deadline. Thankfully my GA helped with grading some papers, but I was frantically grading papers and calculating course grades on Wednesday morning. Thankfully now I can take a few weeks off. Technically I am "off" for 8 weeks, but I hadn't quite finished my "to do" list since Nadia came earlier than I expected. However nothing is due until August 15 so I can definitely take a few weeks off of schoolwork and just be a FT Mommy for now.

One of the 4 lactation nurses I worked with in the hospital called me yesterday to check on how things were doing. I told her about the pediatrician wanting Nadia off the shield. Amy said I shouldn't push it until Nadia's weight was going in the right direction. She said if I pump 2-3 times a day that will compensate for the problem the shields can cause. So yesterday I resumed pumping. I am trying though to get her to nurse w/o the shield as much as possible though (at least during the day - my patience at night is much less). She asked me to come in on July 14 so they can show me some tricks for getting her off the shield.

Yesterday my mom left about 7:30am. Later that morning Paul and I made our first shopping trip with Nadia. She did fine as she slept the whole time in the sling. I didn't fare as well. I went to the baby section and was buying diapers, wipes, Balmex, etc. while Paul was picking up some odds and ends - a light bulb for the lamp in the nursery, etc. Then we did some food shopping together. Part way through the food shopping I started to feel AWFUL - ankles killing me, dizzy, hungry, etc. We had been there about 30 minutes. We planned to go to Sears next to get her some clothes in newborn or preemie, but I knew I had done enough so we just went straight home. The most important purchase we made was a second swaddling blanket. The first one had been stained the day before and she didn't sleep AT ALL in the pack n play when we were w/o a clean swaddling blanket. This led to a very rough night on Thursday night. I got at the most 3 hours of sleep that night. The first swaddling blanket came from BRU where there are many choices of colors and patterns (hers has butterflies). Walmart only had one choice - white with yellow dots. I bought it, but I admit I would have preferred ANY other color as yellow is not what I want to see on her while she still has some jaundice! We didn't end up buying any clothing. Paul had bought her 2 preemie size outfits on Tuesday night - a yellow one (again I am not really wanting to put her in it) and one from a boy's rack (dinosaurs). I had to use the dinosaur one today. It's not feminine. Blue is a good color for her, but I am not wanting to dress her in something that came from the boy's rack, LOL. Oh well. It does fit her perfectly (preemie size). Hopefully in the next couple of days I'll be up to another shopping trip - maybe Sears? to buy a few more outfits in either newborn or preemie size as mostly I just have 0-3 months and up and they are WAY too big on her. I believe one of her cousins will approve of her outfit today as Susie LOVES dinosaurs! :-)

The swaddling blanket did the trick again yesterday, and I had zero troubles getting he to nap in the pack n play yesterday. Last night was a little rougher than the day time but WAY better than the previous night. However that was due in part to the fact that Paul held her awhile which won't be an option tonight. :-( Hopefully Nadia will have a good night since I'll be on my own.

Home Sweet Home!

Well Monday night was a really rough night. First of all the night nurse (the nurses work 12 hour shifts 7-7 so she had 2 nurses a day) was really chatty. I tried to go to bed at 8pm but she kept coming in and chatting about all sorts of topics - SIDS, Shaken Baby Syndrome, etc. all throughout the night (even 2 am and such!). Second, Nadia had the sleep study test during the night in which she had to stay in the car seat for 2 hours and unfortunately she woke up about 1/2 way through the test and was crying. My mom, bless her heart, got on the floor and held a pacifier in Nadia's mouth for 45 minutes during the middle of the night so I could get a little sleep. Then Nadia was weighed and she had lost 55 grams. I cried a lot over this news as the nurse said that this meant we probably wouldn't be discharged. The doctors were upset the day before when she lost 5 grams; so I know they'd be very upset over 55 grams. She was down to 5 lbs. 12 oz which meant she lost 6 ounces since birth. Then in the early morning we got her bilirubin count back and that had gone up (from 9 something to 11 something). I lost it. I called Paul and asked him to come in. I wanted to go home SOOO badly and felt it was now not going to happen.

At 9am Paul and I went to see a midwife to have my staples removed. I think the nurse and midwife were questionning my emotional stability as I just couldn't stop crying. Well my mood dramatically shifted when we got back to the room as we had missed the doctors doing their rounds while I was at my appointment and they had decided Nadia could be discharged! What "saved the day" was a poopy diaper. The doctors thought she hadn't had one in a 24 hours which wasn't true. My mom showed them the chart I had been keeping to record her wet and dirty diapers as well as how long and when I nursed. When doing the rounds usually the doctors didn't actually look at Nadia, but this time the head doctor came in and checked her diaper and PTL she had a messy diaper right at that moment so he said she can go home. PTL!!! I burst into tears again when my mom told us the news, but this time they were tears of joy. I felt like a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I have such respect for the families whose babies spend weeks and months in NICU. I think it's a very stressful experience. I had spent 8 nights at the hospital in 4 different rooms, and I was so very glad to be going HOME. The two conditions set for her discharge were that we would take her to see her pediatrician on Wednesday morning for a weight and bilirubin check and that I would give her formula by bottle after nursing her. I of course agreed. I would have agreed to just about anything if it meant we could go home.

On the way to the car in the early afternoon, I stopped at the RE's office to introduce the nurses, RE, etc. to Nadia. They were thrilled! They called out the embryologist, doctor, nurses, etc and all were so happy to see her. Dr. A gave her a kiss. It turns out his youngest granddaughter is also named Nadia. Paul was having the car seat inspection while I was at the RE. Once that was done, Nadia had her first experience in a car seat. She hated being strapped in, but once we were in motion she went to sleep (pretty typical behavior for babies).

Tuesday night was less stressful, but I got barely any sleep. She was accustomed to the NICU beds which had soft boundaries around her, and she was allowed to sleep on her belly. Of course at home neither of those are allowed due to SIDS. So she and I got very little sleep. I did pass her off to Paul at 3am and asked him to hold her for 30 minutes so I could get a little sleep. The best trick we've found so far (aside from letting her sleep in one of our arms) is to swaddle her up (see photo). I am sure she is very glad though to be in a place where her heel isn't being pricked all the time (see photo).

Wednesday morning we took her to the pediatrician. I think I made a good choice as Dr. M was very relaxed. She looked at Nadia's coloring and said the bilirubin test was not necessary, and although she had lost more weight (5 lb 11 oz with her diaper on whereas the previous day when she weighed 5 lb 12 oz that was w/o a diaper), she wasn't concerned about that either. She told me to stop supplementing with formula which I have done, and she also wanted me to stop using the contact shield (which the lactation nurses suggest the moms of NICU babies use as it makes nursing easier for the babies). I haven't completely weaned her off the shield yet. We go back next week for another weight check. I am hoping at the bare minimum she will not have lost any more weight, and I am actually hoping she'll have gained weight. Maybe she can get back to 6 lbs by then? She is nursing well so I hope that means she's putting on some weight. I am nursing her every 2 hours around the clock to try to keep her belly full. Sometimes during the night she wakes up every hour so sometimes only 30 minutes passes between the ending of a feeding and the start of the next feeding.

On the way home from the pediatrician, we stopped at my university. My mom ran up to my office to check my mail. The letter I was waiting for was there! I am being promoted to Associate Professor in August. WOOHOOO! The letter was dated 6-24 (Nadia's birthday)! What a relief to know I don't need to apply for promotion again in the fall as it was a VERY time consuming process. It also helps me to feel more at ease about resigning off of some committees so I will have more time to be a MOMMY.

Last night went MUCH better. Although there still were stretches where I only got 30 minutes of rest in between feedings, there were a couple of times where I got 60-90 minutes of sleep, and that made all the difference. I felt like a new woman today! Although my feet, ankles, and calves are still VERY swollen, I can now put my feet flat on the ground which is making getting around easier. My balance is still off so when I climb the stairs with Nadia I put her in the sling.

My mom has been a big help. She is headed back to MD tomorrow. We are so grateful that she has spent the last week with us!!! She loves us very much to be willing to transport me to feedings every 2-3 hours while in the hospital, etc. Nadia has taken quite a few naps in her Grandma's arms. Paul's parents stopped in last night after Paul's mom's 4th chemo treatment. Paul's mom also loves to hold Nadia. :-)

I will close with a few observations of changes we have noticed in Nadia over the past week:

• When she was born, she didn't have any eyebrows or eye lashes. We have watched her eyelashes come in. They have gone from blonde to brown and have grown a little bit each day. Right now they are very uneven. I am curious to see how long they'll be in the end. I have long eyelashes. So far about the only quality she has similar to me is that she gets the hiccups alot, LOL.


• Her umbilical cord stump fell off today.


• She doesn't cry as much when her diaper is changed as she did at first.
  
• She has greatly improved in her abilities to nurse.