Sometimes they're hard....

Sometimes Sundays are hard. It seems like the wrong thing to say in reference to the Lord's Day, but for me it's true. First, aside from when we're in Maryland, I'm sitting by myself in the pew after I come down from the choir loft. For more than 12 of the past 28 months I was holding a baby in my arms. I didn't feel alone then. I think that's another reason I miss holding a baby during church. Second, being at church from 9am-12pm really wreaks havoc on their schedules. Although I'm able to keep Ian awake until at least 12:30pm when he's at home, many times a nursery worker lets him sleep for 30 minutes during the service which means I then have to keep him up for more than 7 hours straight. This leads to a VERY cranky boy. Today I did let him take a 10 minute nap around 2pm as I couldn't take the crying any more, but we still had another battle at 6pm when he desperately wanted to go to sleep whereas last night I had no trouble keeping him up until 7:15pm. Since Nadia usually goes down for her nap around 12pm, she tends to fall asleep as soon as we get in the car after church. It's then hard to get her to eat lunch when we get home (sometimes I don't even try), and then it takes her a long time to fall back asleep. Normally it's not that big of a deal, but it was a problem today because we went to a "Fall Fest" at church this afternoon. Nadia enjoyed it, so I'm sure she's glad I woke her up, but it meant that instead of her usual 2-3 hour nap she only had a 30 minute nap. Nadia had her face painted, decorated a sugar cookie, ate her first Smore after I roasted a few marshmallows over the fire, and spent a lot of time jumping on an inflatable the church had rented. We would have stayed longer but the wind made it feel MUCH cooler than the 52 degrees my car said it was outside. I realize that if their afternoon naps started later, it wouldn't be such a problem. There's nothing I can do about it now because we leave between 2:40-2:50pm for the babysitter's house (depending on which babysitter they're going to) 3 days a week. Since Nadia sometimes naps for 3 hours, I need to get her down by 12pm at the latest. Once my trips to campus cease in May, I plan to shift their nap times later so that coming home from church at noon won't be such a problem.

Sometimes the comments people make really hurt. A few days ago when I told someone that Ian had recently had surgery, she asked if it had been on his face. My heart hurt so badly when she said that. I know she didn't mean any harm. I imagine she probably felt badly when I said it was urological. It took me back to the days when I was in middle and high school in reference to things I heard people say to or about my brother. Those comments back then hurt a lot also. I felt badly for Ian that someone might think he looks like he needs surgery for his face. I hope this doesn't become a frequent incident. I'm going to need a thicker skin around my heart if it does as my instinct was to burst into tears. Thankfully I handled it well at the moment, but I have to say every time I think about it, my heart aches for my sweet little boy. I guess I shouldn't be so shocked as after I finished my orthodontic work in high school a surgeon suggested that I have surgery on my cheekbone. He said the insurance would pay for it because my cheekbone doesn't protect my eyes the way it's supposed to. He said I should wear glasses rather than contacts to protect my eyeballs.I wasn't interested in any more surgeries, and frankly I can't see myself agreeing to have any surgery done on Ian's cheekbone either.

Time changes also can be hard with little ones. Next Sunday our clocks go back an hour. Paul used to celebrate this time change every fall. It was just about as exciting as a holiday for him, lol. I am thinking that starting tomorrow we should start pushing their bedtimes back a few minutes each night and also make them stay in bed a little later in the morning. Right now I won't get Ian until 5:30am. He's usually up long before then. I won't get Nadia before 6:00am. If I don't gradually try to adjust their internal clocks, I fear I will be getting up at 4:30am every day starting next Sunday.

Ian can't wear too many of Nadia's hand-me-downs, but this evening he did wear a black turtleneck and Steeler jacket that she wore last year. Aren't they the two cutest little Steeler fans? The photos of Nadia were taken on the day we won our 6th Superbowl. The Steelers are playing this evening, and their next two games are also at night. This is great for my dad because it means he'll get to see three games in a row on tv in MD. It's not good for me because the games are on past my bedtime, which means I'll miss most of tonight's game as well as the next two games. Hopefully tomorrow morning I'll find out that we won!

Dressing Up

Nadia has really been enjoying dressing up a lot more lately. She's frequently seen wearing a hat or a pair of "fancy" shoes or as seen in this picture taken this morning, my shoes. Sometimes she also likes to dress Ian up. The poor boy isn't too keen on wearing one of Nadia's hats, lol. Ah the life of being the younger brother....

On Sunday she turned 28 months old. It's the first time I didn't write a post about it like I did the previous 27 months. I probably would have if we hadn't been in Maryland. Of course at this age the changes from month to month aren't as dramatic as they are at Ian's age. One thing I have wanted to mention though is that we are reading a LOT these days, which thrills this Mommy's heart! Her three favorite books at the moment are The little engine that could, Have you got my purr?, and a nursery rhyme book that contains Humpty Dumpty. I am very thankful that she doesn't ask us to read the same book over and over and over and over again. I read the same books a few times a day but thankfully not many times in a row. Variety is the spice of life, eh?
Below are 4 pics that Wendy took on Sunday of the kids in their costumes. Enjoy! Thanks so much, Wendy!!!

Miscellaneous Musings

Photo taken by my sister, Wendy, at Allen's Pond in MD

1. I discovered while looking at the photos I took today of Nadia's second gymnastics class that she was wearing the same outfit last Wed. I will make sure NOT to have her wear this outfit next Wednesday before her teacher thinks she only has one outfit, lol. Today there were only two girls in the class so Nadia is getting a lot of individualized instruction!

2. Some grocery stores DO realize that people might have more than one young child. I took the kids to Weis today en route to gymnastics. I'd never been to this particular Weis although that was my grocery store of choice in our previous home. They had carts that accomodated 2 children up top (with a wheel for each in addition to the seatbelt) and they had carts that accomodated 4 children - two up top and two in a car attached to the front. WOW! A stroller with four seatbelts! I used one of those this time so that Nadia could drive the car. She loved it. Plus the cashier gave her a lollipop, which also put a big smile on her face. I was a bit overwhelmed after shopping in a little store the last 6 years, but I'm sure I can adjust to a bigger grocery store. I have missed their lite rye bread. Yum! I need to find out if they take internet coupons.

3. We talked with Beth and Gabby yesterday on our way home from a trip to the playground (without coats on at the end of October!). I found out the reason she had abruptly stopped babysitting and was relieved to know it had nothing to do with us. Whew. All that stress I put myself through over nothing!

 4. It means so much to hear a compliment. It's always good to be reminded of that so that I can remember to encourage others. Three that stuck out to me lately were when someone just gushed and gushed about how cute Ian is at the hospital last Monday (that happend all the time with Nadia but has been much rarer with Ian), when my sister and mom complimented me on my latest haircut this weekend (I got it cut 11 days ago), and when a former student gushed about how I looked (I'm assuming she was referring to the weight loss) on Monday night at work. Each of these really meant a lot to me!!

5. Putting Ian down to bed later doesn't help. Last night Paul waited until 7:30pm to put Ian down, and Ian woke up even earlier this morning (3:30am). I didn't go get him until 5:30am. I also put him down later for his afternoon nap (1:15pm instead of 12:30), but he still only slept 25 minutes. He so badly wants a third nap when his two naps put together total less than one hour. Yesterday I used the 20 minute nap overlap to give Paul a haircut. Today I used it to get dressed for work tonight.

Hope Springs Eternal

You'd think that since we've never conceived without an andrologist being involved in the process (and we started ttc in May 2002), I'd never consider the possibility that we might get pregnant "on our own." However, in the past 10 months there have been two occasions when I've considered using a hpt. The first was several months ago (I can't remember exactly when). Paul was the one who mentioned the possibility due to my nausea, but I wrote it off as being due to sleep deprivation. The second occurred 2 weeks ago. I was having really bad heartburn for several days. The first time I ever experienced heartburn was early in my pregnancy with Nadia. It went away immediately after she was born. With Ian it didn't go away until the placenta was removed in January. When I had heartburn a couple of weeks ago I was really surprised. I looked at my fertility friend chart to see what day it was, and since I was in the low 30's, I contemplated buying a hpt. I hated to waste the money. I view it as being about the same as peeing on a $5 bill. Thankfully I held off. It turns out the heartburn was due to stress over Ian's surgery. I've gone almost 3 years without staring at a one lined hpt. I'd like to extend the length of that streak as long as possible.

Once the heartburn went away I was no longer tempted to test. Yesterday AF arrived, and what surprised me was that I felt some sadness. Not anywhere near as sad as I used to feel on day one back when we were doing injections. The worst was after the first fresh embryo transfer in August 2007. I really didn't think I still had any hope that we'd get pregnant on our own. Evidently I haven't lost all hope yet. Frankly I don't think that's a good thing. I think emotionally it would be easier if I could 100% come to grips with the idea that our family is complete. The other thing that surprised me was that I felt this angst toward my body. We know now that morphology is our biggest fertility issue, and that has nothing whatsoever to do with my body. I wonder how common it is for the woman to still feel at fault even if the couple has a male factor issue?

Another area in which hope seems to spring eternal is regarding Ian's sleeping habits. Paul put him down at 6:50pm last night. He slept until 4:30am. I thought that was too early for him to get up so I closed our bedroom door and rolled over onto my left side as my hearing in my right ear is still not very good (that's the eardrum that broke a few months ago). When I woke up at 5:30, I opened our door. Ian was crying so I went and got him. From how he was when I got him, I really don't think he had been crying for an hour, but since Paul and I were both sleeping, we can't say for sure. This morning his nap was 23 minutes long. I had high hopes that his afternoon nap would be about 75 minutes long since that's what he did yesterday and what he had been doing prior to his surgery. Wrong. He took another 20 minute nap. This time I let him cry for 30 minutes in the hopes he would fall back asleep. Wrong. I have no idea what to do to get this boy to sleep more. We've been putting him down between 7:00-7:30 at night, and I won't get him before 5:30. I've been putting him down at 8:30am and 12:30pm for his 2 naps. He needs more sleep than he's getting!!! Letting him cry was a total bust since he didn't go back to sleep AND it kept Nadia awake.

Road Trip Report

The last time we took the kids on a long road trip was in May. It didn't go very well, which was why we waited 5 months before attempting that feat again. I am happy to report that it went much better this time. Friday we left around 11:30am in the hopes that both children would take their afternoon nap en route. We let Nadia watch VeggieTales and then got her a bagel at Dunkin Donuts for lunch, and then asked her to take a nap. Her nap was cut short because she threw up (phlegm) while sleeping. Actually she fell back asleep after the first time she vomited, but after the second time (what a mess!), she couldn't get back to sleep so we let her watch more VeggieTales until we got to my parents. Her nose was running like crazy; Paul felt like he was turning around to wipe it every few seconds (I was driving). Ian was angel until about the last 30 minutes. Without any stops, the trip takes 3.5 hours. We made a few stops and also got lost at the end (trying a different route), so it took 4.75 hours. Ian was crying so hard at the end that he also threw up. Paul cleaned out both car seats soon after we arrived. He also went to CVS to buy Nadia some allergy medicine because her nose was running nonstop.

Saturday my sister took some family photos at a local park. I can't wait to see how they turned out. I am sure we'll use one for our Christmas card. She also took some pics of Ian and Nadia in their costumes (giraffe and princess) on Sunday afternoon. I'll post some after I get them. She takes great pics!!! I'm sure I'll never be as good a photographer as she is, but some days I do contemplate getting myself a better camera. It's amazing how becoming a mom changes your use of a camera. I used to only use it on vacations, and now I take pictures almost every day.

I made a trip to CVS for Nadia on Saturday for some children's Ibuprofen because she had a 101 degree fever. I also went to the grocery store and got her some popsicles after she threw up her lunch because she usually won't drink water, and milk didn't seem to be the wise choice at the moment. I have to give her credit for getting to the bathroom in time. The only reason we had anything to clean up was because she left the toilet prematurely, but she quickly went back so 90% of what came up ended up in the toilet. I think that's pretty good for a 2 year old. I feel badly that both kids throw up so much. I can't relate to that. I can go many years without doing that. Since her fever was gone on Sunday morning and she seemed herself, we took her to church. She did a great job in the 2 year old class. Ian started his first nap on the way to church, so I let him nap on me during the beginning part of the service. Unfortunately they put him back down for another nap after he had only been up a little bit. It's not good to have the afternoon nap start prior to 10:30am. It was very hard to keep him up until 6:45pm, but we did manage that feat. He went to church wearing an adorable size 12 month 3 piece suit, and he came home wearing a size 4T romper because he chucked all over his clothes while they were trying to change his diaper.

The trip back went very smoothly. Ian fussed and cried and then fell asleep at 6:45. He slept the whole way home and didn't wake up when I transferred him from the car to the crib. Paul said Ian cried for about 15 minutes around midnight. I slept through that. I didn't hear him until 5:25am. Still this means he slept 10.5 hours total, which was much better than what he did while we were in MD. Friday night was particularly awful. Between Nadia and Ian we were up about every hour the whole night. We didn't know at that point that Nadia was fighting a bug of some sort. Considering I had started my day at 3:40am on Friday, I was exhausted on Saturday morning. Nadia watched VeggieTales for the first maybe 70 minutes of our trip home, and then after fussing and crying for about 25 minutes she fell asleep and slept almost the whole way home. She also stayed asleep while Paul carried her to her crib. I was amazed that we transferred them both without them waking up. I went to bed immediately (about 10pm). The last 10 days the longest nap Ian took in his crib was 35 minutes. His nap was 30 minutes this morning, but thankfully his afternoon nap today was 75 minutes long.

Friday's Photos



Nadia and Aunt Wendy

Thankful Thursday

1. Ian is healing. Some skin fell off this morning (from the circumcised area) in the bathtub, and he bled some after that happened, but in general it looks SOOO much better than it did a few days ago. He's also less constipated. I can't list his sleeping habits (naps or overnight) as a praise at the moment.

2. Nadia does so well holding onto the cart when grocery shopping. I am so proud of her. To think I was avoiding shopping with both kids say 8 months ago and now it's a breeze to have Ian in the cart and Nadia walking while holding onto the cart.

3. We're headed to MD tomorrow! I am really looking forward to seeing my parents, brother, Wendy, Rachel, and Adam (the latter 3 live in Chicago).

4. We're going on a cruise in less than 3 months with Paul's parents! I got Ian's passport photos today at CVS, which helped make the trip seem more real. We're going to take the passport application to the Post Office tomorrow.

5. I'm grateful I'm not teaching on Wednesday nights next semester. I realized when I was almost home (at 7:45) that I had forgotten to go to choir rehearsal last night. I miss it, and am glad I will be able to start attending the entire rehearsal each week in January.

6. I'm extremely grateful for my two precious children. My heart bursts with joy during simple moments like when Ian is sitting on my lap when I'm on a swing and Nadia is pushing me. Thank you, Lord! Any time I feel sadness that I'm most likely not going to have another child, I try to look at the glass half-full and remind myself of where I was 3 years ago - without any children.

7. Paul's advisor is flying to England tonight. YAY! I am not sure how long she'll be away this time, but when she's way Paul works from home.

Tumbling and Technology

Nadia had her first gymnastics class today! She enjoyed it. There were only 4 girls in the class ranging from 19 months to 2 years. Nadia was the oldest (by 2 months). She was the only one who hadn't already taken another class so her skills were definitely the weakest of the four girls. In addition to learning how to do things like forward tuck rolls and jumping jacks, I think it's going to be a great way for her to work on following directions. Normally when she's at a fun place (like the playground) she can run and do whatever she wants. Today she was in a room full of lots of fun stuff, and she wasn't free to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. I am planning on working on some of the skills at home (such as jumping jacks), and I'll use the same lingo that her teacher, Sarah, does. The only glitch to this plan was that I thought Ian would be waking up from his nap around 10am so he wouldn't be tempted to sleep in the car before or after her lesson. Well since he got up at 5am, I put him down at 8am, and he only slept 30 minutes. I let him cry for 20 minutes, but he didn't go back to sleep. So he fell asleep on the way home. This meant his very brief second nap ended at 11:45am. Not Good. Hopefully next Wednesday he'll stay awake. I didn't get any time to myself since there wasn't any overlap between their naps. I usually use that time to get dressed for work, pack my dinner that I eat in the car on the way to work, etc. I apologize that the pictures in this post are blurry. I'll try to get some better ones in the coming weeks.

Yesterday when we got back from the park our Internet wasn't working. This seems to only happen on Tuesdays when I have my online course. I called the cable company and then PTD, and they told me the problem was our router. I bypassed the router and sure enough then was able to get online with Paul's desktop. After my online office hours ended at 8:15pm, I contacted Belkin (router company). After spending 45 minutes doing what they suggested, I went to bed. This morning I decided to just buy another one on the way to gymnastics. It was 6 years old, and it didn't seem worth the time and frustration to keep trying to get it working properly again. I got a taste of what it will be like not to have a laptop, but the difference is I cannot go without one now because I am working FT. This morning we discovered the DirecTV wasn't working on our living room TV. When it rains it pours. I eventually figured out we just needed to hit the reset button. Technology is great when it works.

I was asked today what I want to teach next summer. I am really torn how to respond, and I only have a few days to make my decision. We get paid about 1/2 as much to teach a class in the summer as we do in the fall or spring. That partially makes sense in that we don't have as much committee work in the summer or things like faculty meetings, but it definitely doesn't take 1/2 as much time to teach a class in the summer. I've taught every summer the past 6 years. Paul said it would make more sense to teach PT in the fall than to teach this summer. Financially that's true. Teaching an online course sounded ideal, but it didn't seem that way when I actually did it. At the moment I am considering having the spring semester be my last hurrah. I need to look at the budget again because when I made it, I assumed I would be teaching next summer.

In addition to buying a $30 router at Walmart this morning, I also bought Ian some prunes. The poor guy is still constipated. I'll keep putting baby food prunes in his bottles until his poop is back to normal. His "part" is looking much better. Well it's still cut apart, but that won't be fixed until the next surgery, but the color is looking MUCH better. Thankfully the kids enjoy bubble baths since I've made that a part of our daily routine.

Forward and Backward

Here are some ways we've been taking steps either forward or backward recently:





1. I don't believe in jinxes, but if I did, I would blame the fact that Nadia had an accident this morning and that Ian didn't sleep through the night last night on the fact that I shared that good news on my blog yesterday. Well we can hope the next stretch for each of them will be a new record. Nadia went 4 weeks without an accident (until she wet the bed last night), and prior to last night, Ian had slept through the night 5 nights in a row. He went to bed at 8:15 and woke up at midnight. We changed his diaper and fed him. He was up for the day at 5:25. He got less than 9 hours of sleep last night.

Ian wasn't too crazy about this kiss from Nadia, lol!

2. Ian's wounds were bleeding more yesterday than the previous days. I called the doctor's office in the morning. They called me back at 2pm and said the surgeon wanted to see him at 4pm. I quickly called Paul to ask him to leave school ASAP, called Sarah to say I wouldn't be bringing the kids over at 3pm after all, and called my department office to ask them to put a sign on my door that I wouldn't be able to come for office hours today. The steps forward would be that the doctor was pleased and told the nurse to remove the catheter. YAY! This morning I notice a big improvement in the color of his skin. The doctor told me that I'm supposed to wipe the inside of his penis when he has a poopy diaper. That is just SO gross. It makes sense though because the skin was sewn together. It's just hanging off to the sides. I have decided to give Ian and Nadia a bath every day until Ian's next surgery to try to keep it as clean as possible.

3. Ian had been doing somewhat better in terms of his constipation, but he's pretty constipated again today. I've stopped putting cereal in his bottles. Hopefully that will help. He's been really cranky/fussy the last couple of days. I think the constipation is part of the problem. Maybe I need to put some prunes in his next bottle.

4. None of Ian's naps in the crib the past 5 days have exceeded 35 minutes. He has taken a few longer ones in my arms, which is nice for now, but not what I want for the long term.

5. The anesthesia has finally worked its way out of his system!

6. As of 2:00 yesterday I was totally caught up with grading. It was a GREAT feeling! I gave a midterm exam last night, and I am happy to say I just graded the last one, which means I'm caught up again!!

7. We weren't able to go to the park yesterday morning due to the weather, and it didn't look very pleasant out this morning, but it looks gorgeous out now. I am looking forward to taking the kids there after Nadia wakes up from her afternoon nap.

8. Ian had a regression with his sitting skills. I think it was due to wearing two diapers at once. He was leaning backward so he was falling more. He seems to be doing better this afternoon.

Do Men Multitask?

Yesterday afternoon while I was watching my football game (Paul was upstairs watching his game as our games were both on at 1pm), Ian was sleeping in my arms while I was also typing a promotion report for a colleague with one hand on my laptop that was sitting on the couch beside me. It hit me - does Paul ever multitask? He does listen to the radio while driving the car and occasionally talks on the phone a little while driving, but I think that might be it. He's never taken a child in with him when he's been using the toilet, showering, or brushing his teeth. In fact if he takes Nadia to the potty, he leaves Ian out in the family room (usually screaming). If I'm watching the kids and Nadia asks to use the bathroom, unless I think Ian will play happily by himself (which isn't usually the case), I bring Ian along and sit him on the floor in the bathroom while I help Nadia. Paul actually tries to avoid using the bathroom while he's watching the kids. He never eats while he's watching them, which means he doesn't eat dinner until after 8pm most nights. I eat breakfast and lunch while feeding Nadia and entertaining Ian (and the same goes for dinner on the nights I don't teach). I am not trying to sound like I'm picking on Paul. I think my Dad also prefers to focus on just one thing at a time, which is why I wonder if it's fair to say that the typical male doesn't multitask as much as the typical female - not that every man or woman would fit that stereotype. What do you think? My amount of multitasking will go down when I become a SAHMwithout a laptop computer, but that won't mean the end to all multitasking. I think it's a necessity as a mom!

Speaking of my wish to multitask less, I have been able to sleep through the night lately! YAHOO! The last 5 days the earliest Ian got up was 5:40 on Friday. Yesterday he woke up after 6:00 and then while I was nursing him in my bed he fell back asleep. I left the room, and he slept in our bed until 7:00am! That was a record in terms of total amount of sleep as I had put him down at 6:50 the night before. This morning he started fussing at 4am, but after a minute or two of fussing he fell back asleep and didn't wake up again until 6:00. Way to go, Ian! I had put him to bed at 7:30 last night. I am sooo happy that he's getting up at a more reasonable hour these days. His naps have been short the past 3 days, but hopefully they'll get longer again. He had a third nap yesterday (in my arms), and that was his longest nap of the day. I have enjoyed letting him sleep in my arms more since the surgery. There's nothing quite like having a baby sleep in your arms although it's not a practical thing to do when Nadia is awake.

Another thing to celebrate is the fact that Nadia has now gone 4 weeks (so far) without any accidents. WOOHOO! I'd say our days of potty training are definitely over!!

Yesterday I thought we'd have fun carving a pumpkin.  I put a garbage bag over Nadia's dress. That was unnecessary because she thought it was "yucky" to touch the seeds or pulp. Maybe next year Ian will enjoy it?

7 Lessons Learned

1. It's much easier to go through a surgery yourself than to have your child go through one. My heart felt like it was breaking when I put Ian in the nurse's arms so she could carry him to the OR. I used to think holding a two month old down for immunizations was hard....

2. It takes more than 2 days for all of the anesthesia to work it's way out of Ian's system. I can still hear it.

3. Nadia and Ian think a catheter is a fun toy.

4. I'm usually not overly squeamish. Seeing the digital pictures the surgeon took during the surgery didn't bother me. Putting bacitracin on the wounds makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.

5. Ian is too noisy to bring in the worship service, even if the sounds are happy ones. Bummer!

6. As awful as it was waiting for Ian to go from the OR to the 1st recovery room to the 2nd recovery room (about 2.75 hours total), once he was sleeping in my arms it felt like all was right with the world.

7. If your baby is constipated, when he finally goes he will scream with such intensity you will contemplate taking him to the ER (until you figure out what happened).

Can't come soon enough

I feel like counting down the hours until Ian's post-op appt. I have had some regret over pushing it back 5.5 hours, but I think Nadia will really enjoy her gymnastics lesson that morning. The poor boy is constipated, but I think that's been a blessing that poop hasn't gotten all over his wounds yet. The brochure said he needs to have a bowel movement by the 2nd day after sugery. Hopefully he'll have one tomorrow. He certainly was pushing a lot many times day. I was able to give him a bath around 11:30am (had to wait 24 hours). He had betadine on his back from the spinal they gave him. I'm supposed to give him a  bath every day. That is no problem except both he and Nadia kept trying to pull on the catheter. It was unfortunately their favorite bathtub toy today. Ugh. I came very close to throwing up the first time I changed his diaper today. He has this extra flap hanging out because the doctor wanted to save the skin for the next surgery. The poor guy screams when I put bacitracin on it like I'm supposed to every time I change his diaper. I wish I could fast forward to Wednesday!! He slept for 10 hours last night and took two 30-40 minute naps today. I'm hoping he'll sleep 11 hours tonight as I'm pooped.

Ian's Surgery

I woke up at 4:15 and was unable to go back to sleep due to nerves regarding Ian's surgery. Paul wasn't able to keep Ian up last night. Thankfully he did sleep 11.25 hours. I went and got him immediately (5:45), and I expected him to scream until we left. Paul's parents arrived shortly after he woke up, and we left at about 6:25am. Nadia had awakened at 6:15. Ian actually didn't cry that much, and he fell asleep in the car even though he hadn't eaten in 12 hours. We arrived at 7:00, and as long as I kept holding him while I was standing and bouncing him, the most he did was fuss. I was amazed. When they had us walk back to the pre-operative area, I almost started crying. The shirt and pants they had me put on him would have been big on Nadia much less Ian. I held him while standing and bouncing until 7:50 when we gave him some valium orally. He normally won't take Tylenol, but because he was so thirsty he consumed most of it. It was very effective as he fell asleep in my arms in less than 5 minutes. About 25 minutes later they came to take him to surgery. I started crying when I handed him off to the nurse who was carrying him to the OR. My pastor had arrived while we were in this area, and he stayed with us for the next 4 hours. They gave us a pager so we would know when we could come back and join him in the recovery room.

We were told it would take about one hour, but the doctor didn't come out until 90 minutes later. When he asked to have us come back to a private room to talk, we were worried. I was relieved when he said Ian was fine, but then he told us he had encountered a lot of problems. He wasn't able to complete the surgery as planned. He did circumcise Ian and use that skin in the reconstruction that he was able to do and also straighten out the urethra. The rest he's saving for the next 1-2 surgeries. The next one will likely be in 9 months. They want to do that one before he's potty trained. The most upsetting thing was that he said that some of the problems might not be able to be corrected, and he wouldn't elaborate what the consequences of those problems might be. He said that they can't fix the part of the urethra that comes up from the bladder and that Ian's is much smaller than it should be. They had to use a catheter that is usually only used for newborn babies (less than 1/2 the size of what they usually use for a 10 month old). We go back next Wednesday to have the catheter taken out. Ian did pretty well today - probably in part because of the local block they put in his spine (near his tailbone) as well as the tylenol with codeine we were giving him every 4 hours. He has to wear 2 diapers (one for the catheter to drain into). His "parts" look awful. Awful is too mild a word to use. It makes me want to cry just to see it, and I haven't cleaned it yet. I hope it heals quickly as it's torture for me to look at it right now. Wednesady can't come soon enough for me.

His appointment was first scheduled for 10:00, but I moved it to 3:30 so Nadia can still go to her first gymnastics class. I registered her for a toddler class a few days ago that starts on Wednesdays at 10:45. Ian was supposed to have the second part of his flu shot on Tuesday, but I called the pediatrician today and pushed that back as I can't imagine inflicting any additional pain on the little guy right now. Nadia in contrast had a great day today. Her grandparents took her to the playground and McDonald's.

Looks Like

I thank the 12 of you who voted on the little poll regarding whom the kids look more like. I agree with the majority of you that Nadia looks more like Paul and Ian looks more like me. One person voted that they both look more like me, and that's actually what I am told All The Time. Of course this is often by people who see me more than they see Paul (or they've never seen him), but a few times it's been told to me by people who know both of us. Paul said that his office mate at PSU said that they both looked like him (which is also how one person voted), but then after she saw a picture of me she said that Ian looks more like me. Ian definitely has my recessed cheekbone - unfortunately. My dad and brother have the same feature. Both kids have blue eyes like Daddy, and both kids have free earlobes like Daddy. My eyes are green, and my earlobes are attached. Time will tell in what other ways each child is more similar to Mommy or Daddy. I'm hoping they both got Daddy's teeth since he never needed orthodontics and only had one cavity. We both had blonde hair when we were young, but my hair stayed blonde a bit longer than Paul's. I'm expecting both kids to have brown hair eventually although I love their blonde hair now!

I'd greatly appreciate prayers for Ian's surgery tomorrow. We're supposed to arrive at the hospital by 7:00am. I am glad we're supposed to come early since Ian can't have formula after midnight and can't be nursed after 3am. He's going to go more than 12 hours without milk since he usually goes down around 7:00pm. Last night he had a GREAT night (the last great one was last Wednesday night which I find rather ironic). He slept from 7:00pm to 6:15am. YAY!!! It would be amazing if he did this tomorrow since he can't be fed. We'll be leaving the house by 6:25. Paul's parents are coming up bright and early to stay with Nadia. I was told we'll likely be at the hospital for about 4 hours tomorrow. I am praying Ian sleeps in as late as possible (since he can't be fed) and that everything goes smoothly with the surgery. Since the last surgery I had at this hospital was botched (the c-section), I admit I am very, very nervous. I can't wait until it's over. It will be a huge relief for me as I've been dreading this for 10 months. I hope he's not in too much pain afterward. Thankfully his diaper rash is totally gone. He took a nice morning nap this morning, and Nadia was as good as gold with holding onto the shopping cart while we went grocery shopping this morning. Aside from the rain (which meant we couldn't go to the playground), we had a really good morning! It was the first time in 5 weeks that I slept past 4:50am. The few times that Ian has slept later than that, my body has still woken up out of habit. This morning it was Paul who woke me up at 5:33. I was thrilled that I was still in a deep sleep (he woke me up in the middle of a dream) past 5am. Hopefully this will become the norm in the near future.

Ian loves the seesaw!

Nadia walks across the rope with my help.

Still Rolling

On Monday someone called me regarding Ian's surgery, and he told me to call back at the 1-800 number between 8:00-4:00. Well he didn't leave the number. I tried several numbers including the pediatric urology office, and eventually gave up. Thankfully he called back on Tuesday evening. It turns out he was from anesthesia. As a side note, he mispronounced Ian's name. I hope most people don't have that trouble with his name.

The bigger frustration was yesterday. I dropped Nadia off at Sarah's because I was told it would be an hour long appointment. When I arrived I learned his appointment was with a LPN who is a dietician. She was very confused as she said her appointments are for children diagnosed "failure to thrive." WHAT?!? At almost 20 1/2 lbs at 10 months he's not failing to thrive. If you compare his weight to his height, he's in the 85th percentile for weight. It turns out the hospital's scheduling department goofed up and turned a referral for the feeding team into an appointment with a dietician. She felt really badly. I told her I knew it wasn't her fault. Thankfully she convinced the lady doing the check-out not to charge me my $15 copay. They cancelled it as if the appointment never happened. However this non-existent appointment took me 2.5 hours including driving time. Frustrating! To add insult to injury, there is a very long waiting list for an appointment with the feeding team. Ian's referral was from one month ago, but at this point he might not get in before we switch insurance, and our new insurance doesn't work with this hospital. Thankfully my sister who lives in Turkey used to be an OT at John's Hopkins so I chatted with her instead and she gave me some helpful tips. Nadia did enjoy the time at Sarah's.

Blurry but I had to post so you can see that he loves this football!

I am amazed at how lately I've adjusted (somewhat) to getting at the most 6-7 hours of sleep, which is 2 hours less than what I've gotten for more than 20 years (minus the first 6 months of Nadia's life). Ian slept 9 hours straight last night, which is an improvement in some ways, but it means his day started before 5am. Nadia woke up from a nightmare at 4am, so that's when my day started today. She went back to sleep for another 3 hours, but I did not in part because Ian woke up so early. I let him fuss and cry for an hour, but he wouldn't go back to sleep.

10 Months Old!

10 ways Ian has changed in the past month:

1. He's scooting around more on his belly (primarily in circles although he does go forward and backward some). He prefers to be sitting or standing. I'm hoping he'll learn to crawl before he turns 11 months old.

2. He's come a LONG way with naps. Aside from times he gets a third nap in the car (which we try to avoid if at all possible), he only takes two naps a day. His first one usually goes from about 8:30-10:00am, and his second nap is more variable in length, but it usually starts around 12:30pm.

3. He still has a bad day now and then with his reflux, but now it is the norm for him to only wear one outfit a day. YAY! He still poops many times a day, but it always stays in his diaper now. We used overnight diapers over the past month, but I've stopped using them recently and he's not leaking through a size 4 diaper overnight. This means less laundry for Mommy. :-)

4. He gained a little more than a pound as with only a diaper on this morning he weighed 20lb 7oz. He wears either size 9 month or 12 month clothing and size 2 shoes.

5. He's "talking" a lot more these days although he only says two words thus far - "mama" and "dada." Even though he said "mama" first, he says "dada" a lot more often.

6. He had a huge regression in terms of sleeping through the night for almost all of the past month, but he's now starting to get back on track. Last night he didn't need to be rocked at 9:30 or 10:00pm as he has lately which was an improvement, but he woke up at 4:35 and wouldn't go back to sleep. I got him at 5:30.

7. He got his first two teeth! He bit me a few times when nursing this morning- ouch!

8. He's made some slight progress with eating solid foods. He still gags if I give him stage two baby food or Cheerios or baby cereal, but with great effort on my part (and tears on his) I can get him to eat a little stage 1 bananas, peaches, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, etc. I am dubious as to whether he'll be eating cake on his first birthday. He'll have fun playing in the frosting, but I doubt he'll put any in his mouth or on his face.

9. This isn't something brand new, but I keep forgetting to mention how much it amazes me how boys are "hard wired" differently than girls in terms of playing with toys. Up until a few weeks ago I had only purchased one toy for Ian (a hammer). All the other toys he has played with were Nadia's toys first, yet many of the toys he plays with in a different way. He LOVES anything with wheels. For example, Nadia's doll stroller is one of his favorite toys. He plays with the wheels.

10. One thing that changed over the past month in terms of toys is that he overcame his fear of the See and Say. He now enjoys that toy, and he doesn't get startled when he hears cows mooing when we walk to and from the playground.

I can't believe in 2 short months he'll be one year old.  Boo Hoo my baby will be a toddler!!!

Favorite Books

 Of course the list of which books are currently Nadia's favorites is constantly changing, but I thought I should make a list of sorts because I'm sure I won't remember these details years from now.

1. Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? by Dr. Seuss was one her first favorites along with a book about an elephant named Trumpety Humpety.

2. Spot books by Eric Hill - her current favorite is Spot Goes to School.

 3. The Curious George board books

4. Where is Jesus? - sliding book

5. Clifford: The small red puppy treasury by Norman Bridwell (includes 5 different titles)

6. Mouse, Cookies, & More - includes 4 titles by Laura Nmeroff such as If you give a mouse a cookie.

7. Olivia by Ian Falconer

 8. Dinosaur books by Jane Yolen - her current favorites of this series would be How do Dinosaurs Clean Their Rooms? and How do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon?

9. VeggieTales books

10.Goodnight Moon was also one of her first favorites.

11. Books by Sandra Boynton - her first three favorites by this author were The Going to Bed Book, Moo Baa La, La, La and Doggies

12. Sing along stories- of the 6 we own her two current favorites are Miss Mary Mack and The Lady with the Alligator Purse

13. The Velveteen Rabbit has been her most favorite book the past few days.

14. Little Sheep Gets Lost (retelling of story from Luke 15)

15. Things I Do - one of the first books that she memorized most of the words (all verbs)

16. Dress-up Peekaboo

17. Red or Blue, I Like You! - Daddy wishes this Elmo book wasn't one of her favorites, ha ha!

18. Daddies are for catching fireflies

19. Fisher Price's My Little People lift-the-flap books used to be some of her favorites.

20. Good Night Sweet Butterflies