Half-Baked!

Well I am now TWENTY weeks pg which means I should be half-baked unless baby ends up being born after his/her EDD. YIPPEEE! Today I am attending a 4 hour mtg in Harrisburg which is over an hour away. They are calling for snow this afternoon so I'd appreciate prayers that I make it home safely. I do NOT like driving in snow or ice. I had planned to stop and visit with a friend I haven't seen in several months who lives down there, but I might just come straight home. Paul is also traveling after school today he'll head out to State College to spend the weekend with some friends. So hopefully we both will have safety on the roads today.

Paul signed the three offers last night (declining two of them and accepting PSU's); it feels very official that we are putting these in the mail today. We also sent emails to cancel the plans he had to visit the other two schools, and someone from Pitt wrote back last night and said they were sorry to hear that and wondered which offer he had accepted. We felt badly writing Pitt and UD because both of those schools really made Paul feel wanted. He said he would have picked one of those two instead of PSU if it weren't for my job, but he is in 100% agreement of accepting PSU's offer in light of my job and a baby on the way. If he was 21 and single it would be a different story than 38 with a wife and a child on the way.

Only FOUR more days until the big u/s!!!!! I am dubious that we'll have a girl's name picked out by then since Paul will be away the next couple of days. Well if baby is a girl we can work on a name after we find that out. :-)

Uniform no more!

Well I am happy to say I no longer feel like I am wearing a school uniform, LOL. Paul's parents gave me $100 for Christmas for mat clothes; I had planned to use the $$ at Motherhood, but I've been able to stretch it much farther on eBay. I have purchased 6 skirts and 1 shirt for $61. Plus my mom gave me 2 skirts for Christmas. One skirt hasn't arrived yet, but once it does I will have 8 skirts to choose from plus 1 pair of black pants so I definitely won't have to wear the same outfit twice in one week any more as I usually go to work 4 days a week (plus I also would wear one of these outfits on Sunday as well). The last three days I actually wore three different skirts, and each time it was the first time I had worn that skirt so I had three new outfits in a row! Thankfully my non-mat turtlenecks work fine with these skirts. The skirts I wore on Tues and Wed showed off my belly (not so for the one I wore on Mon). If I am wearing an outfit that accentuates it more, then even those who don't know I am pg are figuring it out. I heard one student say, I thought she looked pg but didn't want to say anything (definitely don't want to tell your prof she looks like she's pg and find out she's not, LOL). Yesterday, in one of my classes the students were working in groups on something and I was walking around and I heard one student (Jason) say "tell her." So I walked over and Larissa and Jess told me how pretty I looked - that I looked really nice in pink and that my belly was looking so cute (or something to that effect). They made my day! Jason then chimed in and said that they had been talking about it, and he encouraged them to tell me. I thanked all of them. I could tell they were embarassed, but it meant a lot to me! I felt pretty (and what female doesn't like to feel pretty), and I was happy that I am finally looking pg (in certain outfits anyhow).

Only 5 more days until the u/s - YAHOOO! I am now second guessing whether I really felt the baby move on Monday. I was cold in that room so maybe it was a "shiver" and not the baby? We shall see. I haven't felt anything since.

Schedule Changed

My dept chair changed my fall schedule yesterday so that my graduate (PM) class will be on Tuesdays instead of Mondays. This way I can still play in the handbell choir (which rehearses on Monday nights), and it also means I won't have such a long work day on Mondays. Last fall I was at work for 12+ hours straight on Mondays and Wednesdays as my first class was at 8am and my last class ended around 7:30pm those days. My schedule as it stands now is to teach from 8-10:50am on MWF and 5-7:30pm on Tues. We checked PSU's fall schedule (chemistry) and found only one grad class that met on Tuesday nights, and there were 2 other sections of that class at other times. We wanted to be sure Daddy would be available to babysit. Probably I'll have some office hours on Tues (I need to have 5 hours a week); so I'll probably take baby in with me Tuesday afternoons and also that way I can nurse one more time right before he comes to pick baby up around 4:45. He can come straight from PSU to my office and take baby home with him. He'll be on his own for about 3 hours; I will pump to have extra milk available if he needs to give baby a bottle during that time. I think he's a little nervous about this as he's not had a lot of experience with tiny little babies, but I'm sure he'll do just fine. :-)

Depending on when baby actually arrives, my students might have substitutes the first week of class as if baby came right on the EDD my 6 weeks would end on Aug 29 (classes start Aug 25) so my first day back teaching might not be until Sept 2. If baby comes early though I'll start on Aug 25. Of course I might change my mind this summer and not actually go back FT in the fall, but for now this is the plan. Presuming we will move sometime this year, I think that next spring I'll either only work PT or I'll at least want at the most a 2 day a week teaching schedule (T/Th) as the drive to work will be going from 15 to 45 minutes for me (one way) most likely. We still didn't get the letter from PSU. Paul had planned to visit UD next weekend; so hopefully the letter will arrive soon (today!) so he can let UD know that he won't be coming after all.

I have one question for you moms out there. In the next few months, I want to try to line up my babysitters for the fall semester. I am going to be looking to hire a college student (early childhood or elementary education junior or senior) to watch baby in my office from 7:50-10:50am MWF next fall. What would be a reasonable wage for this? I am clueless as to the going rate for babysitting. I know it's nothing like the hmm I think it was 25 cents an hour I was paid back in 1984, LOL (even I was paid far more than that by the time my babysitting career ended in 1990). I was guessing somewhere between $7-10/hr? Baby would be between 1-4 months old that semester if that factors into the equation.

Gift for Baby!

Well last night baby was given 3 t-shirts from Hawaii by my handbell choir director (they were on a 2 week cruise there earlier this month). This was the first gift that was just for baby. We have been given things for baby as Christmas and bday gifts, but this was the first gift just for baby that wasn't associated with a bday/Christmas gift for Mom or Dad. Now, I hope baby is a girl, because if baby is a boy I think I'll only use the blue one. Anyhow it was very sweet of Carol to be thinking of our little one in Hawaii and bring back these t-shirts for him/her!!!! They are size 12 month so they should fit next summer. Hawaii is a place we want to go to some day. I used to think it was too far to fly, but now that I've flown to China (13 hours non-stop) I think I could fly to Hawaii particularly if we flew to CA first and broke it up a bit. And now that it seems Paul is going to PSU and we won't be living on $23K a year, we can keep taking family vacations. YAHOO! So maybe baby will go to Hawaii sometime in the next few years. :-)

I weighed myself this morning and was pleasantly surprised to find out that I haven't gained any weight the last 2 weeks. So I am at 19w4d and have gained 8 pounds total so far. Only SEVEN more days until the BIG ultrasound. YIPPPEEEE! I can't wait!!!! We've been discussing girl's names again as I told Paul I'd really like to have one by next Tues as if baby is a girl I'd like to start referring to her by name. I have been second guessing myself about whether I really felt baby move yesterday. I guess if it happens again I'll feel more certain I really did feel baby.

I did not sleep well last night At All. It's so crazy how you can have a bunch of really good things happen in a day (the PSU acceptance was the biggest by far) and yet your mind just goes back to the one bad thing. I prayed about it, sang songs in my head, thought about other topics, etc. and could not let go of it for the life of me. Finally around midnight I got up and did some Bible study and then went back to bed. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

I emailed my department chair this morning and asked if my grad class can be moved from Monday to Thursday nights in the fall. I have handbells on Monday nights and had to take last fall off due to teaching so I'd rather not miss another four months of handbells if possible. Also, I found that to be too long of a day to teach 8-11am and also 5-7pm on the same day. So we shall see if he's able to switch me. We haven't decided for sure, but I am thinking at this point to work FT in the fall and see how it goes. If at any point it's too much, I can go on (unpaid) leave part way through the semester. It seems like it might work when baby is 1-4 months old to have a babysitter watch baby in my office for 9 hours a week. Then I am thinking of cutting back to PT in the spring (teach 2 night classes a week). Also, this would work best if we end up moving out farther toward PSU that I go to work more often while we're still living only 15 minutes away. Part of the decision will be based on how much PSU is going to offer Paul as far as the stipend goes. Hopefully the letter will come in the mail today. Paul has been hesitant to get really excited about it until the letter is in his hands.

It's snowing here AGAIN today. Ladies Bible study was cancelled again. I am not going to cancel my class tonight though since I already cancelled it once this semester for snow/ice. I think it's supposed to turn to rain later today so hopefully when I travel this afternoon the roads will be fine.

What a Day!

Well I said earlier that I like roller coasters, and I do! I am looking forward to trying out the new one they are building at the amusement park near our home (after baby is born not before!). However, I am not as keen on the emotional roller coaster rides. Well today was one of those days. You would think I would have started out the day in a relaxed, refreshed manner since I had a 4 day weekend (Thurs-Sun) and then had a very good night's sleep (over 11 hours!). When we came home from Shawn's bday party I had a really upset stomach, so I went straight to bed (at 7:15 pm!). Well the "down" part of my day came early this morning. Before 8am I was having a total meltdown - sobbing hysterically to the point I was almost having an asthma attack. Paul had to leave for classes; I could tell he felt awful to leave me in such a state. I wasn't upset that he was leaving. I don't want to make this post any longer than it will likely be anyhow, but this upsetting email had to do with a journal manuscript.

This email would have upset me normally, but I think I was even more upset than usual because #1 I am a bit more hormonal than normal and #2 I was already stressed out and this was the "final straw." For awhile I had been dealing pretty well with the suspense of not knowing where we'll be living next fall, but I had been struggling lately. I'll give two examples. Earlier this month I received a letter from Compassion. I have sponosored Cristy through that program for 13 years, and she was graduating from the program. So they were going to assign me a new child to sponsor. I didn't know whether we could afford to sponsor another child as it depended on if I would be working come August or not. Similarly, I was feeling pressured to figure out what my schedule would be in the fall before the deadline for making changes had passed. I felt like everything was in limbo. On Sunday the sermon was on peace. It was just what I needed. Our pastor reminded us that peace is confidence in the Lord's Providence; it has nothing to do with our circumstances. I knew that my getting all stressed out was not helping at all but was just making me crazy.

Anyhow following the email that really upset me, there were three VERY good things that happened today. First, I got an email from an editor regarding another article. I wasn't expecting to hear from her this week, and I took the timing as a gift from the Lord in light of the upsetting one. Second, the BEST news of the day was that Paul called PSU to check on the status of his application, and he found out that on Thursday he was accepted! She said the letter was mailed on Friday. YAHOOOOOO! The letter didn't arrive today; I am very glad Paul called!!! This is a HUGE relief. We will be so much better off financially, we don't have to move right away, I can keep working at my same school (could cut back to PT), and I don't have to find a new church either. PTL!!!!! We don't know the details yet of the stipend, etc., but likely it won't change our decision to accept their offer and turn down the offers from Pitt and UD. The third happy thing was that I am almost positive I felt baby move this afternoon!! I have wondered at times over the last couple of weeks but kept second guessing myself an thinking it was my stomach or something else. Well I was sitting in a mtg at work this afternoon and felt a little flutter tickling me inside my belly. I smiled and another prof asked me what was funny, and since there were just 3 other people in the room and they all know I'm pg, I said "I just felt my baby move." They all smiled at the reason for my smile. I still am not 100% sure, but I feel pretty certain that I finally felt baby move at 19w3d!

Well it's time to scoot to handbells. They will be sooo happy to hear that Paul was accepted at PSU! Many at my church have been praying to that end as they don't want me to leave. It's nice to feel wanted! Now, I have to decide how many hours to work this fall. My mom had a good idea that I could hire a college student to babysit for 3 hours in my office 3 days a week instead of at home (would mean I wouldn't need a babysitter for my driving time and my office hours as I'd just watch the baby myself during those times). I asked my dept chair today if that would be allowed, and he said he had no problem with it. In fact, he said he was fine with me having the baby in the classroom while I teach. I thought he was joking when he had told me earlier that I could teach with the baby strapped to me, but he was serious. I am not sure about that... I was thinking of how Lynn said that if I was going to be working in the mornings it would be better to do so when baby was younger than older so I was thinking maybe I should work FT and then cut back to PT later? Keeping in mind by "FT" I mean I would hire a babysitter for 9 hours a week for the fall semester (to watch baby in my office). Paul could watch baby during my night class. I think I'd want to switch the day of my night class though as otherwise Monday would be a long day. I think I might ask my dept chair to move that class to Tues or Thurs. Well now I really must scoot or I'll be late. Good thing I'm a fast typist, LOL! Sorry for the long post!

In Memory

In June 2005 I became pregnant (after inj #4/iui #2), and our baby's EDD was 2-24-06. Today marks the day that if we hadn't lost this little one, he/she would be about 2 years old. I still get reminders in the mail. Earlier in the month I got one for pull-ups that said "for your 2 year old." I wish there was a way to let the marketing companies know that we do NOT have a 2 year old. Well in Heaven we do, but we don't here on earth. I didn't sign up for those freebies this time until I was in the 2nd trimester. I learned from my previous mistake. This is the 3rd time that 2-24 has rolled around since that BFP (which came after ttc 3 years). The first time was definitely the hardest especially as quite a few babies were born right around that time (at church mostly). Last year was a little easier because I had such high hopes that we'd adopt from Ukraine during the summer or early fall. This year I still feel grief when I think of that precious life we lost, but it's much easier since there's another little one growing inside me. However, this child doesn't replace that one. I sometimes wonder what he/she would have looked like, etc. I wonder if the siblings who joined this child in Heaven in August know each other? I don't mean to sound ungrateful for this precious life whom we hopefully will meet in July, but I don't think this child's life takes away all the sadness for the seven babies we lost in 2005 & 2007. When you lose a baby through miscarriage, it's a private grief. So I just wanted to say a few words in memory of our little one that we lost on July 5, 2005 (6w4d). From the moment I knew that little one existed (at 12dpo), I loved him/her so very much. I wish I could have held him/her in my arms and shown him/her my love. I hope to meet him/her in Heaven some day. I don't often shed tears over this loss any more, but today the tears have flown once again.

On a much lighter note, I wanted to share my sister's happy news that a recording she was a part of won a 2008 Grammy Award! The recording was made in 2005 when they lived in Vancouver and she was playing in the Vancouver Symphony, but the CD wasn't released until last year. The award was for the "Best Instrumental Soloist Performance (with Orchestra)." She wasn't the soloist, but she was one of the violinists in the orchestra! So congrats to Wendy (and all the other members of the VSO)!!!

Best Nest

I thought I'd share a pic of my "nest" in case you haven't seen one of these total body pgcy pillows before. There are several different ways to use this pillow. This is the arrangement they recommend for the 2nd tri, so that's what I've been using. For example, the one for the 3rd tri gives more belly support. It is SO nice to lie down and not be greeted immediately with pain. I still have some lower back issues during the day, but even my lower back pain has been decreased due to sleeping with this pillow. It was worth every penny! The only bad part is that it makes cuddling very difficult since the pillow is in between us.

Speaking of nests, I think I have experienced some of that "nesting" that people say is common during pgcy. I think it is due in part to the fact that I did cancel my classes yesterday so I'm having a four day weekend since I always am at home on Thursdays. Anyhow yesterday I kept feeling this need to be cleaning/sorting. I did go through most of the closet in the room that will be baby's room. I have a big pile of stuff to give away - a lot of which is perfectly good stuff but just stuff we haven't used. Some were wedding presents. I figure if we haven't used the stuff in 7 years, we aren't likely to use it in the next few years either. Last spring the MOPS group at church had a yard sale. If they do that again, I'll donate this stuff to their yard sale. If not, I'll take it all to Goodwill or Salvation Army. I also was throwing some stuff away like I had several cans of formula which were expired (some were free samples that I'd received since the pgcy in 2005 and a couple of cans I had purchased to be prepared to adopt). I think my desire to do some "spring cleaning" also stems from the fact that we will probably be moving sometime this year.

I finished hemming my one pair of mat pants on Thursday. I am absolutely not a seamstress, but I managed to take them up about 2 inches. The bottom is wider than I'd like. I am just not into that style, but I wasn't about to try to figure out how to alter them in that way as well. I was planning to wear them with a l/s mat shirt on Friday, but I didn't since I stayed home. The mat shirts actually look really good with those pants. I have 4 l/s mat shirts and 3 could be worn with these pants so that gives me several new outfits.

I also had a bit of cabin fever since I didn't leave the house on Thurs or Fri; so dh and I went out this morning to have a late breakfast at Perkins (we treated it as brunch) and also did some shopping. I have to say I just cannot wait until this little one is in my arms. It would have been a lot more fun to have two days at home if I had a little one to love and play with and read books like The Best Nest to.

19 weeks!

Well according to that ticker I've been using, baby now is in the double digits as far as weight goes (in ounces of course, LOL). I imagine at the u/s (in just 11 days!) they'll give us that info on baby (length, weight). Just one more week and baby will be half-baked (presuming he/she goes full term).

It snowed Wednesday night, and it's supposed to snow again today. All the school districts (in a large radius around us) are closed today. Paul's school is on a regular schedule. If it weren't for the fact that he has an exam at 9:00, I believe he'd stay home today. He's taking my cell phone and leaving a lot of extra time to get there, and he's going to come home right after the exam is over as it's supposed to turn to sleet/ice this afternoon (and then back to snow again this evening). My school is on a compressed schedule which frankly makes NO sense to me. They are going to have more people driving in the sleet/ice??? There are 4 of us in my dept who teach on MWF (the others teach on T/Th). I emailed the other 3 to see what they are doing. One (who has a 2 hour commute to work as she lives near King of Prussia) has already cancelled. One said she's waiting to see what I decide (she has about the same commute as I do; she cancelled that one Wednesday when I didn't cancel). I haven't heard back from the 4th yet. I have some time to decide as this means my classes wouldn't start until 1:20. I did cancel once this semester, but it was my Tuesday night class. So this would be my first time to cancel my 3 MWF classes for snow/ice if I decide to go that route today.

Speaking of schedules, the fall schedule has now been posted online. I see I am scheduled to teach 3 sections of undergrad LA from 8:00-10:50 MWF and one grad class from 5:00-8:00 Monday nights. The part of this that pleases me is that the grad classes are back to 5-8pm (they are 6-9pm this semester and I definitely prefer 5-8 as do many of the students). The perplexing part is that I asked my chair to keep M&M I open for me in case I opt to teach 2 night classes (part-time schedule). I have taught M&M I the last 8 semesters. He has someone else scheduled to teach it, someone who has never taught it before (I know this because he started the same semester I did and I've taught it every semester I've been here). That is scheduled for Wed pm. Well if we find out that I will be working PT in the fall, I will ask if I can still teach it. I can't see why the other prof would mind since he's never taught it before. There is an evening section of Social Studies that no one has been assigned yet on Tuesday nights 5-8 that he could teach if I do the Wed pm one OR I could teach if he doesn't agree to the switch. I have taught SS before (but not since spring 2005). I have to say I've liked my schedule this semester better than last. Last semester I taught MWF 8:00-10:50 and MW 5:00-8:00. My schedule for the fall looks virtually the same minus the W 5:00-8:00 as I wouldn't be on overload like I was this last fall. This semester I've been teaching MWF 12:00-2:50 and T 6:00-9:00. I wonder though, which is better in light of a baby's schedule? Of course I have no idea what I'll be doing in the fall. I will be a SAHM if we move out of the area. If we stay in the area I was planning to teach PT not FT. But if for some reason I am teaching FT in the fall, which do you think would be better - for me to arrange for someone to watch the baby (in our house) from say 7:00-11:30 (that includes office hours and driving time) MWF or would some other time of day be better? Here again is why it would be so nice if we knew where Paul was going in the fall. The students start registering in about 4 weeks. At that point the day/time a course is offered can't be changed (although I could still switch to teaching a different class or cut back to PT).

Lastly, for those of you who don't know me IRL, I should say that I am a person who goes to the bathroom frequently even when not pg. I'd say I rarely go more than one hour during the day without going. I am sure I'd be a good candidate for Detrol, but I've opted just to go a million times rather than pop a pill every day. If I know I'll need to go an hour or longer w/o going then I don't drink anything or eat any fruit. During the night (when not pg) I get up a few times to go but not every hour. Well I've been getting up to go during the night more than usual while pg (even in the first tri). I was guessing maybe about 6 times a night, but I hadn't actually counted. Well last night I kept track and that's about right. It seems I need to go every 90 minutes. For example I went at 3:00, 4:30, and 6:00 am. Thankfully I can usually fall right back to sleep very easily (well not at 6:00am but prior to that I mean). I wonder if I'm going to have to go MORE often during the night in the 3rd tri?

149

We're down to 149 days til baby's EDD!! When I found out I was pg, there were 252 days left so I've known I've been pg for over 100 days now. Of course baby will most likely not come exactly on the EDD, but still it shows that we're getting closer! In just 9 days baby will be half-baked (280 days is the total amount based on 40 weeks). That also means we're getting closer to the u/s...just 13 more days!

Yesterday I wore a skirt I bought on eBay a few weeks ago, but it was too big. Well it was still really too big but I was just very tired of recycling through the few outfits I have at this point. I had to wear a maternity top with it, not that I really need to wear maternity tops yet, but the skirt kept sliding down it was so big (XL without a spandex type tummy panel) so I needed a top that was really long in case it went sliding on me. Well I looked fine, but I felt ridiculous so I am not wearing that skirt again until my tummy is significantly bigger. I was wearing a l/s black mat shirt, and I have a sleeveless black sleeve shirt so I can save this outfit for the latter stages of pgcy. The other reason I wore the mat shirt was I got several l/s mat shirts for Christmas (size L) and well if I don't start wearing them soon I'll never use them since hopefully in April it will be time for short sleeve clothes. My tummy shows LESS in those type shirts though since they are like big tents.

Monday I wore my black mat skirt (definitely the one I've gotten the most use of thus far since I can wear all different tops with it) with a turtleneck. It wasn't a mat turtleneck but it did go down long enough to almost completely cover the tummy panel. Well that is probably the outfit that BEST shows my tummy. I wore it on Monday on purpose bc a guy at church (who is in the handbell choir) every time he sees me has been checking out my baby belly (since Dec!) and the previous Sunday (10th) he commented that I still didn't look very pg. Well this Monday with that outfit he agreed that my baby belly is now more visible. Actually quite a few people noticed the baby belly that day. I still say it's not enough that a stranger would be sure I was pg (they might just think I'm a bit overweight) but in the right outfit those who know me can definitely see my baby belly. I can also still wear a non-mat outfit in which you can't see my belly At All. It really depends on what I am wearing and also whether the person sees me sitting or standing (far more visible when sitting).

Yesterday 2 more skirts came in the mail through eBay. I've only been buying skirts that way as I find I need to try pants on so I haven't tried to buy them through eBay. Today I plan to hem the pants my Mom got me for Christmas that fit well but are WAY too long. They are black so again I should get good use out of them. Last week I had bought 3 skirts on eBay. Turns out the cheapest one ($5.50 including s/h) is my favorite! It's really pretty (at least I think so!) and fits great but still has room for growth. I am going to wear it today. :-) One of the others is a little big now (although not as big as the one I wore yesterday!) so I'll wait a bit on that one. The third is actually a little snug in the belly panel area. It fits now, but it's not going to last very long. So I'd better wear that one soon also. So between these new skirts and hemming the pants, now I should have more options and not feel like I'm cycling between the same 3 skirts all the time.

I have never bought clothes for myself on eBay before aside from mat clothes, but since most women don't wear the mat clothes long and I don't plan to wear them long myself, it seems like a good place to shop for them. I do need to make a shopping trip once to Motherhood in the spring, but in our area the only option is Walmart for mat clothes and all they have are pants and shirts (no skirts or dresses). I had bought 2 mat skirts on eBay in 2005 when I was pg, but I had given them away in 2006 I think it was so I never wore those. I also gave away the 2 pgcy books I bought then (one was What to Expect when you're Expecting) and since I bought them and then gave them away I just didn't feel like buying them again. I did NOT give away my copy of What to Expect the First Year as I assumed I'd use that w/ an adopted baby so I still have that on hand.

Akan

On Tuesday as I was looking at Dr. O's diploma on the wall, I was wondering what country he was from. His full name is Samuel Kwapong Owusu. Well today I noticed on his website that it says he speaks the Akan language. Any of you know in which countries Akan is spoken? I didn't until I looked it up. The answer is Ghana and Suriname. My guess is that he's from Ghana.

Yesterday a prof commented that I am starting to show a little. So at least for those who are *looking* (as they already know I am pg) my belly is starting to show a little. Trust me, I am no where near the place yet where a stranger would figure it out. I look forward to that day though! I think part of it is that I have a long torso. I can actually wear petite pants even though I am 5'7" as my length is not in my legs. If I had a shorter torso, I think my belly would be popping out sooner. To me my belly is more noticeable when I am sitting down than standing up.

Another prof brought brownies to our faculty meeting yesterday. I hadn't had a brownie in about 2 months as the last time I ate one I had a horrible case of heartburn. I am happy to say that it didn't give me heartburn yesterday! Well maybe I was better off thinking I should stay away from chocolate, LOL. Normally I am one who craves sweets, but aside from fruit I haven't been craving sweets. Ice cream and such doesn't appeal to me anywhere near as much as usual. On the other hand, I've been craving salty foods like Doritos. I've been restraining myself from buying such junk food as I know the pounds would be going on too quickly if I had something like that in the house. Normally I can go many months without craving chips of any kind. I will say though eating that brownie yesterday is making me want to have a Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard from Dairy Queen. That is one of my most favorite things to eat in the whole wide world! :-)

18

I am 18 weeks pg today. YAHOO! The BIG ultrasound is in 18 days. I looked online, and I have an appt that day at 2:00 (I presume the level 2 u/s) and then another appt at 3:00 with an OB. So I guess we'll be there awhile that day. I can't wait to start referring to baby as "son" or "daughter" instead of "baby" and even better referring to him or her by NAME. Of course if baby is a girl then there will likely be a delay in referring to her by name than if baby is a boy since we only have a boy's name picked out thus far. At that point I can also finish up the baby registries. On Sunday night, the church choir director asked if I had made a baby registry yet. I'm working on it, but I want to know the gender before I totally finish that project. :-)

March 4

I called the OB this morning, and the MFM clinic just called to set up my u/s. She asked me if March 4 at 2pm would work. It will work just fine as I don't go to work until 4pm that day, and it's also a day Paul can go with me. This appt will be at the hospital where my RE is; I will be seen by Dr. Maslow. I'll be 20w4d pg, and I'll be seen by Dr. O exactly one week later at 21w4d for my 3rd prenatal appt. Of course I wish it could be sooner. Dr. O said they do these between 18-22 weeks, and I was hoping for 18 weeks (next week), but at least I don't have to wait until 22w! Just 19 more days til we get to see baby again. YAHOO! I can't wait. I hope the next 19 days just FLY by!!!

Childbirth classes

Well my school is on a 2 hour delay today. The secretary in my dept told me that most of the profs in my dept cancelled their classes today, but I am not planning on canceling as it's raining now. She said to be careful on the sidewalks as they are just sheets of ice and many have fallen. Paul emailed me from his school and said he fell a few times walking from his car to class as it was icy there also. Hopefully I won't fall. Too bad I don't own any ice skates, LOL.

Yesterday, the nurse at the OB gave me a brochure describing the classes we can sign up for. The childbirth class can be taken as 4 evenings (2 hours each night) or 8 hours on one Saturday. It costs $50. I am not sure if that is per couple or per person. The cost is the final clincher. I think I'll just stick with reading the book I got and discussing it with Paul. The breastfeeding class is $10 for one two hour session. I think I'll do that on May 15 (they offer it 6 times a year). I am toying with the basic skills for new parents class (on bathing, feeding, taking baby's temperature, car seats, etc.). It takes place for 2 hours a night for 2 nights and is $30. I might learn something, but I am certain Paul would learn quite a lot so it might be good to do that together. The others I am toying with are Infant/child CPR (free) and Infant Massage (I've seen that one advertised at the hospital but it's not in the brochure so I don't know how much it costs or how long it is). Any thoughts or opinions on these classes? I know some of you already shared your thoughts about the childbirth classes, but I just wondered if any of you took a basic skills course or breastfeeding, etc. Oh and one other option that is free is a 45 minute tour of the L&D area of the hospital. Is that worth doing? We could do that one on March 11.

Today my dad gets the results of his prostate biopsy, and tomorrow he gets his colon polyp biopsy results. Praying for good news! Of lesser importance, I am hoping the MFM clinic calls me today to tell me when my u/s will be! :-)

I have to say how VERY reassuring it was yesterday to hear the h/b. I kept saying to Paul the rest of the day - we're having a baby!! It seems more "real" when you see an u/s or hear a h/b and that hadn't happened for 4 weeks so I needed the reassurance. :-)

Camera came!

Here are two belly photos taken tonight (17w4d). The photo at left shows the belly panel of the maternity skirt (of course in public the panel is hidden by whatever top I am wearing). The photo at right is in non-maternity pants, and in that outfit I don't look pg *at all*, but I pulled the shirt taut to try to make my belly more visible. I am looking forward to the day when it's obvious I'm pg even to those who don't know me. I'm not there yet, but my belly is growing! This is certainly the ONLY time in life when a woman wants to have a big belly, LOL! Paul still thinks it's nuts to take these photos, but at least he is willing to do so anyhow. :-)

150

We were finally given a h/r this time! Well I had to ask, but he told me the h/r was 150. He asked if I thought I could predict the gender from that #, and I said I know it's just a wives tale. Actually I've read that it's not exactly 50/50 in accuracy - it's a little more accurate than that but not by much. On one website a doctor said that if the h/r is consistently above 140 that there is a 5% increased chance baby is a girl and if it's consistently less than 140 it's a 5% increased chance baby is a boy. So there you have have - a slight edge that those who are predicting girl (the minority!) are correct. :-)

It's been snowing, but the roads were still okay. Some school districts (like the one we live in) were closed today, and most of the others are dismissing early (such as at noon). The ladies study was cancelled this morning; so I didn't miss it after all. So far nothing from where I teach. We shall see if they cancel the PM classes. I normally have office hours from 4-6 and teach from 6-8pm on Tuesdays. Well Paul decided to stay home, and since he was at home he came with me (and drove since I'm a HUGE chicken when it comes to driving in snow). At least this time I knew what to expect for my appt - get weighed, pee in a cup, have b/p checked, answer a few questions, and wait for the doctor to come and check the h/b. It was nice not to have to change into a gown this time especially as last time I sat in that gown for an hour while waiting for Dr. O. The best part was of course hearing the h/b. It took him awhile to find it (again!) but he did. Baby was still on the right side but had moved up higher. The top of my uterus is now maybe an inch or so below my belly button. He said by the next appt it will be up to my belly button. What a huge sense of relief I had when we heard the heartbeat!! PTL!!! he said he had seen Dr. A recently and told him that I was seeing him and Dr. A told Dr. O to tell me hi. That was nice. :-) There was a medical student with Dr. O today and his name was Paul so there were 2 Pauls in the room.

I was asked by the nurse and OB if I wanted the triple quad screening, and I declined it. When the nurse asked if I was having cramping, I said "yes" (whereas the answer to most questions she asked me was "no"). She said that I should drink a lot of water whenever I have any cramping, an that I should probably drink more water in general as it's often a sign of dehydration. So I will drink more! And she said if it won't go away or becomes very painful to call them ASAP. They put in a referral to the MFM clinic (which is at the hospital where my RE is). They said I should get a call within 48 hours for that appt. They said that's when I'll have the u/s, an that the MFM clinic likes to do it between 18-22 weeks. I'll be 18w on Friday so I'm hoping it will be in week 18 or 19 rather than say week 22. An u/s next week sounds good to me!

My b/p was up but still good. Today it was what my b/p usually is when not pg (120/70) whereas last month it was 98/60. My weight was up 4 lb 5 oz. That's about what I was expecting. According to my scale at home (which isn't as precise) I had gained 5 lbs in the last 4 weeks. So at 17w4d I think I've gained about 8 lbs altogether. The nurse last time had said a healthy weight gain was 1lb a week during the 2nd & 3rd trimesters (plus about 5 lbs in the 1st tri = about 30 lb total weight gain). I had hoped to only gain 2 lbs during these 4 weeks, but I'm not going to flip out that I gained 4lbs instead of 2. If I stick to the 1lb a week goal then my total would be 30 lbs since I have about 22 weeks left. I was trying to aim to only gain 20, but I guess it will be ok if I gain 30 since it's for a very happy reason - BABY!

The nurse asked if I had felt baby move (no), and she said many women don't feel it until 20-22 weeks so I shouldn't worry. I had read on the American Pregnancy Association website that 18-20 weeks is the norm for feeling first movements in a first pgcy but it can vary from 14-22 weeks. Now that I have heard baby's h/b it's not bothering me as much that I haven't felt baby move yet. Of course I am still looking forward to that! It's just quite a few ladies on this one 2nd tri discussion board I visit each day have felt their baby move (even first pgcies) around 16w so I was getting a little antsy that I am getting near 18w and still haven't felt baby move.

So anyhow the bottom line is that baby is still doing well. PTL! Now to wait for the phone call that will tell me when I get to see baby again!!! I learned today that although I paid a copay at my first prenatal appt last month ($10), I don't have to pay any more copays the rest of the pgcy. That was a nice surprise. :-)I scheduled my next OB appt for March 11 at 3pm. That's spring break for Paul & I, but I have a conference at school that day that I am a part of (it's for the preschool and kindergarten teachers in two counties). So 3:00 is a good time as I can just scoot over from the conf. I'll go to that one by myself (Paul has been to all my appts so far), but if Paul's schedule allows he will go to the u/s. It will be a thorough one since it's being done at the high risk clinic. I can't wait! :-)

BRRRR!

Saturday we got some snow, and we got some more on Sunday. Over the course of the day on Sunday the temperature plummeted, and it was still freezing cold today (less than 20 degrees). With the windchill, it was below zero last night. I saw I needed gas when I was driving home from choir practice last night, but I immediately thought I'll ask Paul if he'll fill my tank after dinner on Monday night. At dinner tonight I asked him if we could trade cars (we drove separately) so that he could stop and get gas for my car on the way home. And my sweet hubby said yes even though he had braved the elements this morning to get gas for his car. While I'm bragging on dh, in the materials the nurse at the OB gave me 4 weeks ago, one of the activities listed to avoid while pg is to clean toilets (bc of the fumes from the cleaner). So I asked dh if he would clean our 2 toilets yesterday, and he did. And cleaning toilets is only a little less repulsive than changing a diaper in his opinion, LOL.

The weather doesn't look good for tomorrow. Paul will stay home as Tuesday is the one day of the week he doesn't have class or a lab he needs to be a TA in. He usually still goes in but in light of the weather already told his advisor he won't be in tomorrow. I'm not sure what will happen with my OB appt. I might end needing to reschedule it. Patience IS a virtue, right? Also not sure about whether I'll have class tomorrow night. We shall see!

Since I bragged on dh, I think I can share a funny story as well. I showed him some photos online that my sister sent today from Adam's bday party yesterday. I thought the photos were cute off him with chocolate icing smeared all over. Paul found the photos "revolting." He said something like I hope you aren't planning on doing this with our child. I said, yes, it's a pretty standard thing to do for a child's first bday. He kept saying that it's so disgusting - "there was chocolate everywhere, all over the high chair." I just laughed and laughed. He said well if you give our child cake for his/her bday then you alone are responsible for cleaning up the mess. That's fine, but I think Paul is in for a rude awakening that when our child is learning to feed him/herself that even if it's not chocolate icing it can be a very messy experience.

Tomorrow!!!

I am very, very glad my appt is tomorrow. I felt a little silly last Monday just moving my appt up 3 days, but I have to say I am glad I did it. Although last time it was a let down to "only" hear the h/b when I was hoping to see baby by u/s, this time I know that's all it will be and although of course seeing baby would be even better, hearing the h/b is enough for me right now just to reassure me that baby is still doing okay. My mtg in State College for tomorrow afternoon was cancelled this morning due to inclement weather predicted for that area tomorrow, so I could have taken the 1:30 appt tomorrow and not missed ladies Bible study. But I'm not going to call again to switch my appt to 1:30 (and that time slot might have been taken already anyhow). I don't want them to think I'm an annoying patient who changes her appts all the time. Tomorrow I know to just schedule my next appt exactly 4 weeks later if at all possible. And I believe I'll have an u/s (probably with the MFM clinic) before my 21w OB appt. So the wait between appts shouldn't be as long this time, and hopefully SOON I'll feel baby move. Once I am feeling baby move I don't think hearing the h/b will be so important to me.

We have a 2 hour delay at school today, and it has nothing to do with the weather but rather a power outage on part of the campus that happened last night. So I am home later than usual this morning. It worked out well as my friend, Cheri, came over for a Bible study this morning for about 90 minutes. We are finishing a study on Daniel together. We both had started the same study (Beth Moore) at two different churches but neither of us had finished it (I started it in the fall of 06 and she started it in the fall of 07). So I still had my "ladies Bible study" this week but it was just a really small group, LOL. The ladies group on Tuesdays at my church is doing a study by the same author on the Tabernacle. That's the one I'll miss tomorrow.

Tonight Paul and I are going out to dinner. Paul doesn't like to go out on actual Valentine's Day since so many go out that night. Since I don't have handbells tonight as I usually do, tonight is our best night. So we are headed to Applebee's tonight. They are having a special where you get an appetizer, meal, and dessert for $10-12 (depending on what main meal you order). Pretty good deal I think! Plus we have gift cards for Applebee's so actually it won't cost us a dime. I wish we had an Olive Garden nearby; it's been a long time since I've eaten at Olive Garden. Paul feels the same way about Red Lobster. We have to travel about 1 hour to get to either of those restaurants. The ones that are within 15 minutes of our house include Perkins, Cracker Barrell, Charlie Brown's Steakhouse, Quaker Steak & Lube, Applebee's, Denny's, Ruby Tuesday, and Bennigan's. I think that's pretty good considering what a rural area we live in (our home is surrounded by fields used to grow corn, alfalfa, pumpkins, etc.).

Finally, I have to say that I love my pregnancy pillow. It was worth every penny. It wasn't cheap; it probably cost the same as one appt at a chiro or massage therapist. The very first night it helped relieve the hip pain, but my lower back was still hurting. Last night even my lower back felt fine while sleeping. PTL!!! I keep thinking of the children's book the Best Nest. I think this pillow qualifies as the best pgcy nest, LOL! Once I have a camera I'll take a photo of my nest. :-)

17 Weeks!

Today I am 17 weeks pg; in 3 more weeks baby will be half-baked! To celebrate, I am wearing a new outfit! It gave me pleasure to cut off the price tags this morning. For example, the tag on the skirt said $68, but I actually paid $14.99. I would never pay $68 for a skirt, much less a maternity skirt, but it is very well made. It's nice to be wearing high quality stuff at a low price! And the skirt DOES have growing room so it will fit for a couple more months I think, but I am pretty sure it won't fit in say June. Same goes for the shirt, but it's long sleeved so I wouldn't want to wear it then anyhow! It's always fun to wear a new outfit, but it's ESPECIALLY fun since I've been wearing the same 3-4 outfits the past few weeks to work/church (at least the one skirt is black so I can vary what sweater I wear with it). I truly have felt like I've had a "school uniform" again, LOL! Plus there is something special about this being the first day my top and bottom are maternity clothes. :-) Also, since this skirt is solid navy blue, it means that I can wear more than one top with it.

Deliveries

Well today was the day for deliveries! I had a mtg at work, and when I got home around noon I saw a box on the front porch contained maternity clothes I ordered from Mimi Maternity. I had received a $50 gift card for Christmas that could be used at Motherhood, Pea in a Pod, or Mimi. The only one of those stores anywhere near us is Motherhood, so I assumed I'd use it there. Then I thought I could shop online with it. Well the other two stores are VERY high priced, but I was able to find some items on sale. The original prices for the 3 items equaled $150, but I got them for $45.97 so after s/h I was only $1.97 over the gift card. I got a navy blue skirt (L), long sleeved blue/white striped shirt (L), and a short sleeved white shirt (XL). I tried on the clothes, and the white shirt will be perfect later on. The skirt fits now and has some growing room, but it probably won't fit in a few months, but that's okay bc a XL maternity skirt I bought on eBay doesn't fit now but will fit in a few months. And the l/s shirt fits nicely now and again there is some room for growth but not tons. I plan to wear my new outfit tomorrow. YAHOO I get a break from recycling my three other skirts, LOL! It will be the first time I'll wear a maternity top, but it's the only one I own that looks fine now (the other tops are too big for now). It's nice to have one outfit for this "small belly" stage of pgcy, and there is some room for growth so I should be able to wear it for several more weeks at the very least.

Then Clark delivered our crib, toybox, and pillow! I wasn't expecting the pillow. It just came to the store today, and even though he hadn't been listed as one authorized to pick up the pillow (as he was for the other two items), they let him pick up all three items. I am anxious to try out the pillow tonight. I am hoping it reduces the pain in my hips and lower back. The toybox and crib need to be assembled, but it's exciting to have them in the house. Clark asked if our daughter (he's convinced baby is a girl) would be sleeping on wood. LOL we will get a mattress (not included). I put a crib mattress on the registry, and of course if no one buys that for us, we'll certainly buy it ourselves!!! Anyhow it feels very exciting to have a crib in our house (even if it is unassembled). :-) Clark recently helped his bil assemble two cribs as his sister is pg with twin girls (due in March but probably will give birth this month). I didn't ask for him to help assemble the crib - that will be Paul's job!

11 Years

Well it was exactly 11 years ago that Paul and I met. It was the 2nd week of a 4 week ballroom dancing class being held in the auditorium of a department store. Paul's parents had taken the class the year before, and they had told the teacher that their son had taken private ballroom dancing lessons in New Mexico. She said if he ever came back to the area that she'd love for him to come and help teach the class. That first night that he came he was a little late, and this older man had been taking turns dancing with all the women who came without a partner. When he saw Paul walk in, he immediately let go of my hands and said I think he (Paul) should be your partner. I am sure he said this because Paul and I were the only young ones in the class (everyone else was at least 20 years older than us), and that was where it all began. I never would have thought it wouldn't be until 11 years later that we'd become parents (that summer of 1997 we had talked about getting married in 1998 but we didn't actually get engaged until 2000 and married until 2001), but I am glad that day is finally just around the corner!!!

Today also marks the first day we don't have a valid home study. We started the first home study in November 2004 but it wasn't completed until a few months later. Since then we've always done an update or another home study before the previous one expired. But as of today our last home study is now expired. We can update it sometime in the next 2 years, but at the moment I am guessing we might not do so. Our first home study was $750, first update was $350, and our second home study was $1,500 (we could have done a second update but our first social worker was on maternity leave so her pregnancy cost us $1,150). Having done three without anything good resulting from them is partially why I don't think we'll ever pay for another home study (either get pg from ivf, decide to only have 1 child, or adopt through foster care which would involve another home study but at least it would be free). I am very glad NOT to be doing another one right now.

As for the fetal doppler, I have been going back and forth in my mind between renting, buying, or just skipping it altogether. Paul suggested I wait until after my appt on Tuesday to decide, and I think that's a good plan for now. So I've decided to wait on deciding, LOL. It's just 5 more days til my next appt! I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a couple of weeks and wasn't happy. :-( We shall see what the scales at the dr's office say on Tuesday. I haven't been eating sweets aside from fruit so I don't think I am going to change much. Maybe I'm like Lynn and the weight goes on faster in the beginning than the end? Oh well...as long as baby is healthy that's what's most important. If I have to diet after giving birth, so be it. The nurse at the OB said I should gain about 30 pounds total. I still think I can keep that as a maximum weight gain. I had been hoping to only gain about 20 pounds, but that seems dubious at this point.

We haven't heard from any of the other 4 schools where Paul applied yet. I admit the suspense is starting to get to me! He's been invited to visit both schools where he was accepted (they'll pay for his travel expenses, hotel, food, etc.). He already made plans to visit UD (although if we got an offer from PSU before then he'd probably cancel those plans), but he hasn't made plans to visit Pitt yet, but if he doesn't get another offer in the very near future then he probably will make plans to visit Pitt in March. So the next few weeks are BIG for us in terms of hopefully learning the gender of our little one and also deciding where Paul will be going to school starting this fall (and whether that involves us moving this summer or not).

Crib and toybox

Recently I ordered a crib and toybox from Walmart. Last April my parents told me I could pick out a toybox as my bday gift. I had looked at some, but then in May when I started to figure out that we might not be adopting from Ukraine like I thought we would, I wasn't sure we'd ever need a toybox so I hadn't looked for one until recently. This will go in our living room (the room where we spend the most time). Instead of trying to match the woods (which already don't match as it is), I picked a white one. Paul's bday present from my parents last month was a crib. The dresser and nightstands are a light maple in the room I plan on being the baby's room. I was finding it hard to find a crib to match; so I ended up going with a white crib. If I had it shipped to the Walmart, then the shipping was free. Well the crib and toybox have arrived at the Walmart! A friend from work who has an SUV will pick them up and bring them to our house tomorrow afternoon. Then at some point Paul will need to assemble them. :-) There's a twin bed in that room, but it's 1/2 of a bunk bed. So we'll just combine the two single beds back into a bunk bed in the other bedroom (we have 3 bedrooms).

OB appt

Well I called the OB this morning and asked to move my appointment from next week to this week. I figured if I had my appt this Friday instead of next Friday it would be only 4 days sooner than it was supposed to be. I explained that I really wanted reassurance that baby was still doing okay as the first trimester symptoms (mostly nausea and heartburn) had gone away which is great but since I also hadn't reached the point where I could feel baby move, I have no reassurance that baby is still alive and well. I also told her that we had ttc over 5 years for this little one, and that I had a miscarriage 2 1/2 years ago. It was to no avail. She said unless I was bleeding or something like that I have to wait four weeks. I have to admit I almost burst into tears when she said that. I wasn't expecting to have such an emotional response. I asked if I could at least move it up so that it was only 4 weeks later. I had originally picked the Feb 15 appt bc it was a very convenient time slot in terms of having my appt and then teaching at BU as the OB's office is super close to my bldg at work. She gave me two choices for Feb 11 - either 9:15 or 1:30. Normally 1:30 on a Tuesday would be perfect, but that Tuesday I have a meeting in State College (over an hour away) from 1:00-3:00. So I took the 9:15 even though it means I'll miss ladies Bible study next Tuesday. I know it's probably silly. I probably should have kept my appt for Feb 15, but I just didn't want to wait 3 extra days. So my next appt is in 8 days. I hope the time flies as I sure would like to have that fetal doppler test right now if I could even though I have no valid reason to be concerned.

Yesterday I ordered two used books on half.com. One was by LaLeche on nursing. When I told Paul he looked at me like I was nuts. I could tell he was thinking you need to read a book to know how to do that? And yes I know there are plenty of women through the ages and around the world today who nurse w/o reading any books, but I also know it's not always a super easy thing at first. The second was on the Bradley method of childbirth which I have had friends over the years tell me is far better than Lamaze. I can't find any actual Bradley method classes around here; so I told Paul I will read the book and give him the info he needs, but we'll skip going to any classes since it seems they only offer Lamaze classes around here. I figure me reading a book and us discussing it will take less time than attending a weekly class for several weeks. He again looked at me like - you need to read a book? He said I thought my job was to just to say "push." LOL! I said well I want you to know more about L&D than that as actually you don't push until the very end. Boy is he in for an education the next several months. I can't wait to see him change a diaper, LOL! Trust me he is NOT looking forward to changing any diapers; if it were up to him he'd probably never change one. I told him that I am sure I will change far more diapers than he will, but I do expect him to share some of the diaper changing duties! :-)

Choir robes

Well I can tell you that choir robes were not invented with pregnant women in mind! Boy was I hot this morning. I was wearing a sweater and a skirt; I need to wear something lighter on the Sundays the choir sings (twice a month) the next few months. Thankfully we don't wear robes during cantatas as we have a cantata in early May and I don't think I could make it for an hour in a robe. The choir doesn't stay in the loft the whole service when we're just singing one song. I wasn't the only one dying up there; part of the problem is they put in these new lights a few months ago that raise the temperature in the loft by quite a bit. I started to feel really badly but kept telling myself in a few minutes I could shed the robe. After we left, I heard the two ladies who had been standing on either side of me talking about me. They were discussing how I didn't look very good and that they hadn't said anything to me "in case I hadn't noticed." LOL I noticed!!!

Snow Day

Well actually it should be called an "Ice Day" as there's very little snow and quite a bit of ice. If we had ice skates we could use them on the sidewalk and driveway right now as they are covered with a sheet of ice. My university even closed and that almost never happens. All the school districts from our house to where Paul goes to school closed, but not Paul's university. However his advisor wrote him and encouraged him not to come it. Paul emailed the prof of the class he would have had this morning as they were taking a quiz today, and she wrote back and said he can make up the quiz on Monday. She said it was ridiculous they were open today; she said her normally 5 minute commute was terrible. I can only imagine what Paul's normally 45 minute commute would have been like! So this is turning into a four day weekend for me as I am usually home on Thursdays and now am home today. Yesterday I was home alone, but today I get to spend the day with hubby. That sounds very nice!

So I am now FOUR months pg. YAHOOO! I have reached the 16 week mark!! I didn't call the OB yesterday. I am trying to wait a couple of days to see if maybe I'll be able to feel baby move. If not, I'll probably call Monday and try to move my appt up a little bit. Maybe I'll eat something really sweet today and that will get baby moving? I actually haven't craved sweets as much as usual while pg except I have still craved fruit. I definitely don't crave chocolate or ice cream anywhere near as much as usual!

After the embryo transfer I would often put my hand on my belly and talk to baby. Well since the BFP I have done that more. Usually at least once a day I would put Paul's hand there and say something like "Daddy says hi too" or "Daddy loves you also." I think at first Paul thought it was really a goofy thing to do. Well he seemed sort of neutral about it somewhere along the way, and now this week for the first time he initiated it on his own which thrilled me! :-)