Thankful Tuesday

Each November I try to post gratitude lists more frequently than just once a week. Here are a few things I'm grateful for...

1. the freedom of religion that we have in our country. On Sunday we prayed for the persecuted church and a prayer guide from the Voice of the Martyrs was in our church bulletin.

2.  the freedom to vote. We'll be studying the suffrage movement in the very near future. I exercised this right today.

3. the opportunity to stay-at-home with my kids. My schedule went from frantic (past two years) to far more manageable. Honestly there are moments when I ask myself how on earth did I add a FT job to my to do list?!?

4. the fun the kids had going trick-or-treating on Saturday night. Our community usually does it on October 31, but given the forecast for that night included not only rain but wind, thunderstorms, and a tornado watch, most of the boroughs in our area rescheduled. If trick-or-

treating had taken place on Thursday, Paul would have missed out as he didn't come home from work until 10pm that night. On Saturday the kids and I were just climbing into the van at 6:15pm when he came home from work. He asked us to wait for a couple of minutes so that he could join us. Nadia went as Hermione again. At first she was correcting people if they identified her as being Harry Potter. Oliver went as Optimus Prime (a transformer) and Ian was Lloyd again (Lego Ninjago). We were walking about for about 90 minutes although part of that time we were in a church watching a puppet show while the kids ate some popcorn. Not as many homes were giving out candy as was the norm several years ago, but the kids still came home with plenty. They shared a little with Daddy, but I bought him two bags of candy at Weis on Friday since it was VERY reduced in price. The kids picked out their least favorite candy (sweet tarts, smarties, lollipops, etc.) and put those in a bag which we took to the dentist today in exchange for $3.00.

5. the Saturday Science program at Susquehanna University. Tab and her boys went for the first time ever and took my kids along as well so that I could attend a Grief Share program at church. One of the activities during the three hour program was to design something to protect an egg when dropped from the second story of the building. Three kids and one adult succeeded in this challenge, and three of those four kids were the ones Tab brought - Oliver, Isaiah, and Nadia each received a rock with some crystals in it as the prize for their achievement! A dad who was there was the fourth winner.

6. the progress that my mother-in-law has been experiencing lately. She has finally been able to sleep in her own bed and take a shower. Progress! She'll be seeing the oncologist on Thursday, which happens to be her 75th birthday.

7. the fun the kids and I had carving pumpkins last Friday. To be honest, I was tired and could have just skipped it, but Oliver asked, and so we did it. There are times when I'm grateful that I've said no to doing certain activities or field trips and have opted to just stay home, and there are also times when I'm grateful that I did something even though I felt like skipping it.

8. very delicious apple cake. Yummmm!!!

9. the free grocery service Walmart provides. You place your order online, they gather everything you ordered, and your purchases are brought to your vehicle at the time and day you choose. Since Discover is giving 10% back this quarter for those purchases, I have been using this service more often than usual. I typically only did an order after they would send me a $10 off $50 coupon.

10. the progress Oliver is making in math. We skipped the multiplication chapter in his textbook. He's working on telling time on an analog clock, and I'm now doing addition and subtraction flashcards with him for five minutes a day to help him with learning those facts. So far we're working on adding/subtracting 1 or 2, adding 10, problems where the answer is 0, and adding 9. 

11. that Oliver really enjoyed the last chapter book I read to the kids (Prairie Thief). He asked if there was another book in the series. Getting him to be quiet and listen during chapter books has been challenging, but it's not hard when he really likes the book!

12. that my kids have a good attitude about visiting historical homes and museums. (Although Nadia is not crazy about visiting battlefields.) When we read a book today about the Smith sisters who lived in CT in the 1800's, Oliver asked if we could visit a museum to learn more about them. I'm not sure if one even exists, but I love his interest!

13. that Paul was able to watch the Monday night football game at his parent's house last night. We don't get ESPN so I suggested he spend the night at his parent's house last night so he could watch the game (albeit his team lost). This also saved him 2 hours of driving time. I'm thankful that we don't have cable all year long. The brochure said it would cost $11 more to have the local channels compared to what we pay only for the internet. But in reality we also had to pay $5 a month for a little box and $20 a month for taxes. Seriously how can an $11 service add $20 in taxes?!?! We'll be going back to just having the internet the beginning of January. The only time we use the local channels is for football, and I haven't been watching the Steelers and not all of the Giants' games are aired here so we aren't using the tv that much. My nephews were grateful we had it when they were here as they were able to watch the Eagles game. I very rarely watch anything on tv, and the kids and Paul watch things via Hulu or Amazon Prime. 

14. it's a very rare occasion when I sit alone in church these days. For the first 13 years of our marriage I sat in the worship service alone almost all the time although for some of those months I was holding a sweet baby in my arms during the service. I took each of my three babies with me until they got to the point I knew it was better to put them in the nursery. Paul has been attending church regularly for the past five years. The last couple of years if he worked on a Sunday I was still able to sit with Ian. Nadia and Oliver usually were up in Kidzway during the first service. This year Ian has been opting to attend Kidzway during the first service, but Nadia is now attending the first service with Paul and I as the middle school class meets during the second service. Paul worked this past Sunday, but I didn't sit alone as Nadia was with me. I greatly prefer having a family member sit beside me during church. 

Eight Months

As of today, my brother has been in Heaven for eight months. It has been eight months plus two days since I spoke to him last, and in a few weeks it will have been a full year since I saw him in person and gave him a hug, as the last time I saw him was the day after Thanksgiving in 2018. The "denial" phase of grief lasted four months for me. My brain has finally accepted the reality, but it's still a very painful topic to dwell upon. I think of my mom and brother at all different random times. For example, if I see Skittles or Starburst candy, I immediately think of my brother. Nadia got a 100 Grand candy bar, and she had never had one before. She asked me about them, and the first thing I told her was, that was Grandma's favorite candy bar (meaning my mom). One of the pastors (not the senior pastor) preached this morning, and during the sermon he made the statement that Jesus was 33 years old when He died. I immediately thought of a conversation I had with my brother in which he told me that Herod (the one who made the order to have the boys under the age of two killed) died in 4BC so Jesus was probably born in 5-6 BC because #1 Jesus' birth was the reason that edict was given and #2 Joseph, Mary, and Jesus came back from Egypt after Herod died. It is believed He died in either AD 30 or AD 33. Either way he was more than 33 years old when He died.


In the months following my mom's death, there were many, many instances every week when I'd have to remind myself that I couldn't call my mom because it was such a natural instinct for me to do so. I still have those moments. For example sometimes I think, "I wish Mom could hear Ian playing the piano." It's painful to me that her youngest grandchild (Wesley) never met her, and her next three youngest grandchildren (Oliver, Julianna, and Grace) probably won't have memories of her as they were only three-years-old when she died. When the cousins were here last month, we played a Memory game that I made on Shutterfly using pictures of various family members. The cousins enjoyed finding pictures of themselves on some of the cards. It hurt my heart a bit when Julianna pointed to a picture of my parents and said, "There's Grandma Margie!". Um no....

I thought of Maurice a lot yesterday because I attended a Grief Share meeting about "surviving the holidays." Thanksgiving wasn't a challenging holiday for me following the passing of my mom, and I am not anticipating it being hard this month either. Although I ate Thanksgiving dinner with my mom for more than 20 years, I hadn't eaten that meal with her many times over the past twenty years. I ate fewer Thanksgiving dinners with my brother since I was almost twelve years older than him. Christmas is another story. I honestly wanted to skip Christmas in 2016. Decorating my house was extremely painful as my mom loved decorating for Christmas. For many years I took my brother shopping so he could buy gifts for the others in the family. He loved tradition, and he really, really was particular about the exact order of the stores we had to visit each year. He became the "Santa Claus" meaning the person who would pass out the gifts during our gift exchange each year. He was missed last year at the Christmas gathering at our house, but we had NO idea at that point we'd never celebrate Christmas with him again. The thought of sitting around a tree exchanging gifts with my side of the family this December sounds incredibly painful. I have no idea how I would make it through such an event without sobbing my eyes out. His department at Penn is doing something special to honor him this Friday. We (his family) were invited to attend. My Dad and Margie are planning to attend. They invited his advisor from Austin to come and speak at a colloquium. I am so, so touched that they are honoring him in this way. It was hard for me to make it through his funeral and luncheon. I know I'd be crying way too much; so I am not planning to attend. Of course the other factors are the length of the drive as well as the fact I'll be homeschooling my kids that day. At some point I do want to go to Philadelphia and tour the museum where he gave tours, but it's likely going to be years before I'm emotionally ready for that. I had planned to take the kids to Philadelphia for several days in March 2020, but those plans have been scratched in light of my brother's passing. Knowing that my mom and brother have been reunited definitely brings me comfort as well as the knowledge that I will see them again some day, but I'd still love to be able to talk to them on the phone this week!


On a lighter note, here are two funny comments from Julianna and Oliver last month. When I picked the kids up from AWANA, the commander (director) asked me how many kids were in their family. She asked because she had wanted to give prizes to the cousins (and their siblings) for attending our AWANA for the first time. Julianna had said "I don't know" when asked that question. When asked, "How many girls?" Julianna had correctly said "two" (she has one sister). When asked "How many boys?" she said "too many to count!". HA HA! When three of her brothers heard what she had said, one of them objected, "She can count to six!". I will concur that her counting skills are excellent. When Oliver was doing his schoolwork she was frequently counting and telling him "Oliver, you have nine cards left to read" or "Oliver, you  have seven math problems left to do." After the cousins had left Oliver said to me one morning that he liked it even more when Grace came to visit. I asked him why because it seemed to me that he and Juliana had really enjoyed their time together (except I did realize that Oliver wished Julianna would play outside with him more than she did). His answer cracked me up. He said that when Grace is here she just wants to play with HIM, but Julianna spent a lot of time playing with the guinea pigs. Unlike his siblings, Oliver doesn't ever give any attention to the guinea pigs. The guinea pigs definitely spent far more time out of their cage the week the cousins were here than any other week of the past almost three years. Julianna really loved holding them!


Last night I was very tired, and so I went to bed at 8:30pm after tucking Oliver into bed. When I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, it hit me that I should have forced myself to stay up because when I went to bed early I was forgetting that the clocks would go back an hour that night. I was afraid I would wake up way too early this morning. I didn't! Would you believe I slept 11 hours last night? I was definitely tired. Usually when people comment about getting an extra hour of sleep when the clocks go back an hour, I always say nope I don't get any extra sleep that night. First of all I wake up by an internal clock not an alarm clock and it takes time to shift my internal clock. Secondly, as a parent I have found that the kids always wake up what appears to be an hour early after the time change. Of the three kids, Ian is the one that has always taken the longest to shift his internal clock by one hour. Well what do you know but the kids got up between 6:30-6:45 (new time) which isn't bad as our usual time is 7:00! Usually it feels like we're rushing to get out the door on time on Sunday mornings but considering we got up a bit earlier than usual (but not a full hour earlier) and also the fact that the choir wasn't singing today, we weren't rushing to leave this morning. When the choir sings, I have to be out the door at 7:55, but when the choir isn't singing we don't leave until about 8:35 (the service starts at 9:00). Although I love singing in the choir, I have to say it was nice to not be as rushed this morning. Well we shall see what time the kids wake up tomorrow morning. As a parent, I've found the "spring forward" transition usually goes far more smoothly than the "fall backward" one does, but maybe this year will be different.

Apples and pumpkins

For many years I said that spring and fall were my favorite seasons because I love it when the temps are not too hot and also not too cold. In particular I love it when the temps are in the 60's or 70's. Over the past 10 years my favorite season some years has shifted to the summer because I enjoyed walking to the playground in the morning and swimming in the pool in the afternoon with the kids. My dislike of cold temperatures has also grown over the years. One constant has been that winter is my least favorite season. The trees are bare, the grass is brown, there aren't any flowers, and it's COLD outside. Yes, snow is pretty to look at, but I really don't like to drive in snow or ice, and it has to be cold outside for their to be snow. In the spring there are beautiful blossoms on the trees, the flowers begin to bloom, and the grass turns green again. In the fall there are oh so beautiful leaves on the deciduous trees. Although in all reality we could eat just about any food any time of year, there are still foods that are associate with the various seasons. We eat a wider variety of fresh fruit in the summer. That's another big plus for summer! Two foods I associate with the fall are apples and pumpkins. We eat apples all year round, but I'm more prone to make apple crisp and drink apple cider in the fall. Our family's first choice when it comes to apple variety is gala, and our second choice is golden delicious. Recently I bought some Granny Smith apples for making apple cake, and we also tried two other kinds. The kids and I found a new favorite - Jonagold. I'm not sure how often that kind goes on sale ($1.00/lb. is the most I pay for apples), but the kids and I really like that kind! The rest of us didn't enjoy the Honeycrisp variety, but Paul really did. I don't typically make pumpkin pie, but I do make pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin bread. There are some pumpkin things that I see at the store that seem revolting to me (ex. pumpkin yogurt or pumpkin ice cream), but most of the time I do love pumpkin! Speaking of seasonal foods, I put some eggnog ice cream on the apple cake this evening. Wow! Was that a delicious combination!!!



We got our pumpkins at the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago when the cousins were here, but I figured we should wait until closer to Halloween to carve them. In hind sight I wish we had done it earlier in the week when it was a lot warmer outside. We've always carved our pumpkins outside, but we did it in the kitchen today. Plus I am a big fan of natural light when taking pictures. Usually Paul and I have helped the kids together with the pumpkin carving. In 2016 Pop Pop helped instead of Paul. This was the first time I was the only adult helping. We carved three of the four pumpkins. The kids all think the pulp is disgusting. They each helped some, but I did the lion share of that task. This was the first year I let Nadia carve her pumpkin. I helped her a tiny bit, but she did most of the carving. Ian drew the designs on his pumpkin and Oliver's. Oliver changed his mind from tree to spider, and eventually he settled on Frankenstein. Ian's is a three eyed alien. I know we are a day late with this project, but considering the trick-or-treating was postponed to tomorrow, we still have completed the carving one day before trick-or-treating. The wind and rain was bad last night. I can understand why they rescheduled!

Thankful Thursday

1. Ian overcame his fear and had his testimony videotaped for his upcoming baptism. The creation of the video was the whole reason he waited to be baptized. The size of our church intimidates him sometimes. I had signed Oliver up to also be baptized, but I contacted the church last week to let them know we decided to wait. For one thing everyone being baptized has to make a statement which includes the phrase "profess my faith" and that was a tongue twister for Oliver. Thankfully Oliver took the news well when I told him that we decided to have him wait until he's a bit older. Nadia was eight when she was baptized, and Ian will be baptized a few weeks before his tenth birthday. I was very proud of Ian last Thursday! He chose three verses to quote during his interview - 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and Philippians 4:13.

2. I TOOK A SHOWER ON TUESDAY MORNING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH!!!!!! WOOHOOOOOO! It was heavenly. YAHOOOOO!

3. It only cost a little under $200 to get the van to pass inspection on Monday, which was far better than the $1,800+ estimate Toyota gave me last Tuesday. Whew... Have I mentioned that cars and houses are not cheap?

4. The kids enjoyed three trunk or treat events Thursday through Sunday. The trick or treating that would have taken place in our community this evening has been rescheduled for Saturday night due to the weather forecast.




5. We were able to tour a coal mine on Saturday. Paul, Cheri, and her friend (Leon) joined us. It was perfect timing as this week in science we have been discussing various types of energy including from fossil fuels.

6. I made pork chops last Friday, and all three kids liked it! Paul isn't a fan of pork chops, but he will eat them. I made chicken and corn soup this week. Oliver and I loved it. Ian thought he wouldn't like it, but then he said at the end it was okay. Nadia couldn't stand it, but she did eventually consume a small bowl of it. All three kids liked the cornbread I made to go with the soup. Here's to hoping that some day I can find a stew, soup, or chili that Nadia will eat without making horrible faces.

7. Nadia has been drawing a lot more lately. Her skills are improving!

8. Nadia decided to check out the second Anne of Green Gables book when we were at the library on Monday. As a child two of the authors I tried to read every single book or short story they wrote were Lucy Maud Montgomery and Louisa May Alcott. I'm really hoping she'll also read Little Women sometime this school year. She's currently reading the sixth Harry Potter book.

9. I purchased a gallon of apple cider from a man in our town. Yum! I usually go by the rule that I "don't drink calories," but once a year I buy apple cider as the kids and I enjoy it. It's delicious!




10. Nadia's tooth extraction went smoothly yesterday. Ian hasn't had to have any pulled by a dentist, but Nadia has had three canines pulled over the past two years, and Oliver had his bottom two central incisors pulled in January. In each instance their permanent teeth came in and their baby teeth weren't wiggly! Our co-pay is $72 for an extraction so it's much cheaper when the teeth come out without a dentist being involved! Plus the tooth fairy gives more money for teeth pulled at the dentist office since shots are involved in the process. I called the orthodontist yesterday to cancel Nadia's appointment in January. I said we want Ian to be seen next summer, but for now we are not planning to have Nadia get braces due to the cost involved and the fact that I am no longer employed. Ian's teeth are in dire need of braces so we will save up the money to pay for his. I'm grateful that all three kids have been very cooperative at the dentist office from their first appointments to the present. I know it can be a struggle for some children, and I'm very thankful it has gone smoothly thus far.

11. The leaves are SO SO SO pretty right now! It's time for me to take some pictures of my kids with the lovely fall foliage in the background.

12. The kids are going to Saturday Science in two days with Micah and Isaiah. This was the only session of Saturday Science this semester I had on our calendar. When I signed up I saw the topic was the moon, and I planned to take the kids even though I didn't think it tied in at all with what we are currently studying in science, but I was wrong! The topic on Saturday is actually about PHYSICS which is what we are studying (physics as it relates to the moon such as Kepler's laws, angular momentum, gravity, tidal forces, mass, weight, etc.) I love it when field trips correlate well with what we are learning at home. I'm also thankful that someone else is taking my kids as it means I can attend a grief group session at church. Normally the group meets on Wednesdays at the same time as my choir rehearsal so I haven't attended any sessions either after losing my mom in 2016 or my brother this year. But this Saturday session is focused on the topic of surviving the holidays after losing a loved one. Hopefully the Saturday Science will be beneficial for the kids and the grief session at church will be helpful for me. I'm thankful friends are willing to take my kids along with theirs to the event!

13. Speaking of correlating well, this week we are studying the physics of sound in science and in history we were learning about Alexander Graham Bell today. In a few weeks an assignment in writing will be to write about a few inventors including Alexander Graham Bell. This week Nadia and Ian are writing a story about a Civil War battle. Writing, history, and science are fitting together quite nicely!

14. I *think* that Ian has outgrown the problem of throwing up when he laughs too hard. He has had this condition since he was an infant, but it has gradually decreased. He laughed a TON when his cousins were here, and he never threw up! Now I have to remember this as I have been programmed for almost 10 years to remind him not to laugh too much.

Got the sticker!

I certainly have many faults, but I am not typically a procrastinator. I usually take care of the annual car inspections 1-2 months before they expire. I started working on getting an appointment for the van in August, but for a variety of reasons, I didn't actually take it to the dealer until last Tuesday. I was stunned when they presented me with an estimate that exceeded $1,800 and said that in particular the rear brakes and three tires failed inspection. A few minutes after receiving that estimate I called Bastian and made an appointment for an inspection this afternoon. Bastian had done the front brakes on the van last year, and I had a very strong suspicion that they would charge far less than what the Toyota dealership was going to charge me. Toyota would have charged over $500 for the rear brakes, but Bastian charged around $150. Including the annual inspection, I paid a little less than $200, which was far better than $1,800! They passed the tires, but three of the tires they measured at 3/32, which means we will be replacing those in the next couple of months.

However, that will cost about $300, so in the end we will spend $500 total instead of $1,800. Paul got burned at the Mazda dealership last month when he got his brakes done. We only plan to go to dealerships for (free) safety recalls from now on. Otherwise, we will go elsewhere. I am very thankful that even though it felt like I waited until the last minute, I did get the sticker for the van a few days before it expired.

I took the kids across the street to the children's museum for about 45 minutes. We would have stayed longer, but they close at 4:00. I told Bastian I had my cell phone with me and to call if they had any questions. When we got back they mentioned they saw the sticker from Walmart and did a tire rotation and oil change. I said I just had both of those done the end of August, and the van wasn't due for either yet because the tires are rotated every 5,000 miles and the oil is changed ever 10,000 miles, and I had almost gone 3,000 miles. Since they failed to call me, they didn't charge for the oil change or tire rotation. That impressed me. If

they offer free tire rotations if you purchase your tires there, I would be very happy to buy my tires there instead of Walmart. I will have to check that out before we buy three new tires for the van. Usually we leave the house around 4:30 on Mondays and get home at 7:45. Today we left at 2:30 and got home at 7:45 because of the car appointment. We got one pizza, and I brought four cupcakes that I had made this afternoon. The kids were so surprised that I knew how to make cupcakes, ha ha! We generally prefer cookies, brownies, pie, cheesecake, etc. to cake so I rarely make cake, but Nadia's pen pal had included a handwritten recipe card for topsy turvy cupcakes. So that is what I made today. We only have two weeks left of choir rehearsals and our trips to Lewisburg on Mondays will come to an end. It means I'll need to find a different day to go to the library during the week.

Over the past few weeks there have been tools in ALL three of our bathrooms. Our master bathroom has been ripped up for 3.5 years. The shower in that bathroom is very dusty and

filled with tools, there's a circular saw the floor of our closet, etc. The kids' bathroom was a work zone for a month and during that time the shower curtains, window valence, bathroom rugs, etc have been stored on our bedroom floor since Paul was doing a lot of sanding in the bathroom. For one week of that time the toilet wasn't working. The shower hasn't been usable for a month. Then most recently the toilet in the half bathroom was leaking and couldn't be used. We've been using the jacuzzi tub since we haven't been able to use either shower. One of those times water came down from the jacuzzi through the dining room chandelier onto the dining room table. We need to buy another toilet because there is a crack in the tank of the half-bathroom toilet, which is the one we use the most since we spend more time on the main floor of the house than we do upstairs, but Paul put silicone on the crack, which has provided a temporary fix. The best news is that the kids' bathroom project is DONE. Glory Hallelujah! I cannot wait to take a shower tomorrow morning. I would be thrilled if I never took another bath the rest of my life. I greatly prefer showers!!! Right now there are only tools in ONE of the three bathrooms. I'd love it if that bathroom project could also be completed sooner rather than later, but one shower is SO, SO, SO much better than zero showers. And the kids' bathroom looks neat and tidy again, and the bathroom stuff is OUT of our master bedroom. This is a big relief to a person who can't stand clutter! I'm very thankful for progress.

Coal Mine and Candy

We took our kids to the Lackawanna Coal Mine in Scranton two years ago. That coal mine lasted about an hour and took us 350 feet underground. This coal mine tour is very close to where Paul grew up and his parents still live. The last time he had been to the Pioneer Coal Mine was when he was in the second grade. The school was so close to the coal mine that they walked there. This tour lasted about 35 minutes and took us 400 feet underground. All five of us could have gotten in free at the Lackawanna Coal Mine, we wanted to visit this one once. The kids got in free. The kids are not huge fans of coal mine tours. In fact Ian has had a bit of fear in the past regarding going underground. Both mines contain anthracite coal. On the way there the kids and I stopped at a consignment shop and at my friend, Cheri's house. We spent about an hour with her and her three large black dogs. We struck out at the consignment shop so this evening I placed an order online at Children's Place instead. In doing so I surpassed my clothing budget for the year by $11, but considering we have

spent $511 over the course of the year for shoes, clothes, socks, etc. for five people, I think we've been frugal in that category! I discovered earlier this week that Ian didn't have any long sleeve polo shirts, and he (insert sad face) has gotten to the point where he's not at all crazy about wearing dressy shirts (the kind that button and can be worn with a tie). He'd much rather wear a sweater or long sleeve polo shirt to church, but I somehow hadn't gotten him any for this year. He also needed black dressy shoes.

Cheri, Leon, and Paul met us at the coal mine. After the tour we went our separate ways. Paul went to the plant, and the kids and I visited with Paul's parents for about one hour. While we were at their house, the kids changed into their costumes, and I curled Nadia's hair with a curling iron because the actress who played Hermione in the Harry Potter movies has curly hair. The kids had worn their costumes on Thursday night at a trunk or treat event, and they wore them again this afternoon at the Hall of Treats at First Baptist, which is where they

play basketball. It was raining this afternoon so it was excellent that they had already planned to hold their event indoors. Thankfully the weather was nice last night when our church had their event outdoors. I saw on Facebook that they had over 1,700 kids attended the Trunk or Treat at our church last night, which is exactly the reason I chose to stay home yesterday, ha ha! The kids will have two more opportunities to collect candy and wear their costumes this month. The event tomorrow afternoon is held indoors at the Methodist church that is about one mile rom our house.

Since we were out and about from about 9:10 to 4:45, it made me all the more grateful that we stayed at home all day yesterday. In addition to homeschooling, I got a lot of cleaning done yesterday. Paul is nearing the completion of the kids' bathroom so I was able to start cleaning that room and also tackled the basement which hadn't really been put back in order since the cousins were here.

Thankful Thursday

1. Paul's mom came home from the hospital yesterday!!! If she is feeling up to it, we might stop in for a brief visit on Saturday at their house. She was in the hospital for a little over three weeks. I am sure she is grateful to be home sweet home and say goodbye to hospital food!!!

2. We enjoyed having three nephews and one niece with us last week! Last Wednesday was the first time EVER that my kids brought a guest to AWANA, and this is Nadia's ninth year in AWANA.

3. My piano is back in tune! With the cousins here breakfast was taking longer than usual, and I was just finishing the dishes and wiping down the table when the doorbell rang. I froze thinking who is at the door at 8:00am?!?! And then I remembered the piano tuner was scheduled to come at 8:00. I was so embarrassed to answer the door in my very modest pajamas. I know people go shopping at Walmart in their pjs, but I believe this was a first for me. I let him in and cleared things off the piano and promptly ran upstairs to get dressed for the day. I hope this was a once in my lifetime occurrence. He was very gracious and somehow I managed to keep the room quiet for him despite the number of kids in the house for the 90 minutes he was here tuning the piano.

4. We had a safe trip to and from Baltimore last Friday. My kids enjoyed spending two hours at the Maryland Science Center in the Inner Harbor.

Ian asked me to take this picture. Can you find the real animal hidden among the stuffed animals?

5. I found another food Ian really enjoys - nachos! He's not crazy about refried beans, but he loves nachos that have beef and cheese without beans.

6. I really love the music that Nadia and Ian are learning for their chorale concert next month - "You're a Grand Old Flag," "America the Beautiful," "Armed Forces Medley," etc. The kids' choir that the boys are in sang in church this past Sunday.

7. I finally took care of a safety recall for the airbag on the van on Tuesday. I was also hoping to complete the state inspection at that time as well, but they failed the van and the work they wanted done totaled over $1,800!!! Yikes! Inspections there are free, and they've always passed the van in the past. I'm taking it somewhere else for an inspection on Monday and hoping the bill will be MUCH smaller even though I'll have to pay for the inspection. It was disappointing to spend two hours there and not leave with the inspection sticker, but the kids were well behaved. We brought books, they give free popcorn, and the kids also each used a 20 minute electronics turn while we were waiting.

8. Water leaked from the master bathroom down to our dining room table on Saturday, but thankfully since then we haven't had any leakages when we've used the jacuzzi. Praying for the day I can take a shower again. The things we take for granted. This is definitely a first world problem. I'm reminded of some of the kids we sponsor through Compassion who live in a house with a dirt floor, no electricity, etc. We have so much to be thankful for!!!

9. We received a new Echo dot today. Ours was broken when the cousins were here. I had expected to wait until around Black Friday to buy another one, but they had an amazing sale earlier this week where you could get one for 99 cents if you also paid for one month of music unlimited. So basically for a little over $9 I got a new Echo dot and one month of Music Unlimited. Sold! We have gotten so accustomed to using the dot to make announcements up to Nadia while she's in her room, as a timer, to play music, etc. We missed it while we went without one for a little over a week.

10. I'm thankful I am getting better at saying "no" when it comes to simplifying our schedule. Last Saturday I was exhausted from the eight hour drive to Baltimore the day before, and so I cancelled the next two field trips on our calendar to compensate some for the unplanned trip to MD. Today we had planned to do an industrial tour. Nadia wasn't too happy that I cancelled these two field trips, but her desire to spend the week with Josh was the reason I was wanting a break from driving. I didn't feel guilty about cancelling either trip. Similarly, I know she would love it if I took them to the Trunk or Treat at our church tomorrow night, but I have a limit on how many trunk or treat events I will take them to each year, and our church's is my least favorite because it has by far the longest line. Our first one is this evening. I'm planning to take them to three total trunk or treat events (tonight, Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon) as well as Trick or Treating in our town on the 31st. Those four events will result in more candy that they want or need being brought into our house. We'll exchange some at the dentist for $1 coins. It's so easy to feel Mom guilt, but I am determined not to run myself ragged! It's good to use the word "no" sometimes!

11. Yesterday while we were reading a book about Rutherford B. Hayes, Oliver pointed to a picture of his house in Ohio and asked if we could go there. I am thinking the number of seven year old's who ask to visit the house of former President Hayes is pretty slim, but I looked on a map and it wouldn't be far off the route we were going to take to Chicago in April. I will add that to our itinerary! I was thrilled that he has such a good attitude about a historical house tour.

12. The leaves have started turning! I love this time of year! Now to get some pictures of the kids over the coming weeks with the gorgeous leaves in the background.

13. On Monday night the kids and I enjoyed buying things to put in three Operation Christmas Child boxes. We are praying these boxes will be a blessing to the children who receive them!

Cortisol

I love going on vacations, but I also love being back at home once the vacation is over. I don't think I would enjoy a vacation that lasted much more than two weeks. The longest time that Paul and I have been away from home the past 18 years was our 3 week trip to China in 2006. Similarly, it's wonderful having relatives stay with us, but I also love it when life returns back "to normal" after their departure. I don't think my kids agree with me in this aspect. When the cousins were here I missed out on hugs and snuggling that I am accustomed to as my boys were so focused on playing with their cousins they never asked to cuddle with Mom, which typically they request every day. I also missed enjoying chapter books together with the kids. The change I most appreciate is that the house returns back to normal. I have a strong aversion to clutter. Early on Paul dubbed me "the chucker" because I am prone to decluttering on a regular basis. Every once in a blue moon I regret that I donated or threw something away, but that happens infrequently enough that it does not dissuade me. I don't like a cluttered email inbox or clutter around the house. One

area I've been working on the past few months is the kitchen countertop. It easily becomes a dumping ground when we walk in the door for the mail and so much more. When we came home from church today, I had to remind the kids to immediately put their Bibles, choir folders, and Kids' Cash (from church) in the appropriate basket because they were about to put all of those items on the counter.

When you have additional people living in your home, you are definitely going to have more clutter. Knowing that clutter affects me more than I wish it did, I purposefully set up the four air mattresses in the kids' three bedrooms. I knew those rooms would have very little (or zero) empty floor space, but I also knew I spend very little time in those rooms. Ian's room definitely was the most cluttered as in addition to two air mattresses there were clothes and stuffed animals and books strewn all over the floor. It was hard to know where to step when I'd go in to tuck Ian in bed each night. I did a load of laundry so that I could send the

kids back to Maryland with clean clothes in their bags. I also thought that might help me sort clothes as it seemed that Joel's, Ian's, and Nathan's clothes had all merged together on the floor of his room. I also didn't have the kids clean up the toys in the basement until Thursday morning. If I needed to get something from the basement, I tried to avert my eyes from the mess. We definitely needed the dining room table on the day when there were 15 of us eating pizza together, but in hindsight I wish I had brought the Legos back up the next day and not used the dining room table for eating after the first night. I didn't wise up until Thursday morning. On Thursday the kids ate all their meals in the kitchen together as I added a seventh chair, and I just ate standing up. Having the kids eat at both tables definitely increased the amount of cleaning after each meal as we have carpet in the dining room and the kids would drop food (ex. a goldfish cracker) on the floor, step on it, and I didn't want the crumbs smashed down into the carpet so I ended up vacuuming in that room once or twice a day whereas usually I vacuum that room once a week or every two weeks. Plus there were Legos strewn ALL over the basement floor, and that wouldn't have been the case had I had them move the Legos back up to the dining room five days earlier than I did. Lesson learned! I also should have immediately thrown away the play-doh type material that Julianna and Oliver came home with on Sunday because I found little bits of that green substance all over the house.

Basically my goal was to keep the main floor of the house looking fairly normal. I asked the kids to clean up some toys periodically, and I spent a lot of time cleaning that floor every day - far more time than I usually spend. There were many more spills in the kitchen, a toilet overflowed in the bathroom and no one told me about it, and the guinea pigs spent FAR more time out of their cage than usual. They haven't had a peeing type accident in years (without any attempts to train them on our part), but one time Julianna had Jenna out and forgot about her and the little guinea pig was hiding in between the closed cage and the wall when I discovered her, and she had an accident on the hardwood floor. My kids know to clean up pellets as the guinea pigs definitely have plenty of those accidents all the time. Thankfully as the guinea pigs are vegetarians their solid waste is dry. But the cousins didn't know to clean those up (they've never owned a guinea pig) plus my kids usually clean up any bedding that comes out when they get the guinea pigs out, but again their cousins had no experience with this so there was a boatload of bedding on our floors last week. I invested far more time than usual in cleaning this floor of the house, but as a result the mess and clutter wasn't bothering me until Thursday. On Thursday it was a lot colder out and so the kids pulled lots and lots of things out of the foyer closet. I walked into the foyer and there was hardly any place to walk without standing on a pair of mittens, coat, scarf, pair of shoes, etc. I lost it. I didn't yell or say anything to the kids, but I had a small panic attack. Ian asked me why he could hear me breathing across the room. I worked to calm myself down and then went back to cleaning so that at least the main floor of the house didn't look like a bomb had recently gone off.

I have three siblings and clutter didn't/ doesn't bother any of them. I had no idea that you could have SO many tabs open at one time on an iPad until after my brother passed away. I am wondering if he ever closed a tab while he owned that device. It took me quite awhile to close them all out. I learned later you can have up to 500 tabs open on an iPad. I didn't count how many he had open, but it was mind boggling to me. My sister, Wendy, said she views her toleration of messiness as a weakness, but a few days ago I was wishing clutter didn't bother me as much as it does. I started to think is something wrong with me? Am I crazy? I did a search online and read an article  that talked about a study done at Cornell University in which they analyzed saliva and found that  for some women, "clutter can trigger the release of the stress hormone cortisol, which can increase tension and anxiety." Men did not exhibit the same results in that study (clutter didn't cause their bodies to produce more cortisol). I thought that clutter didn't bother my husband, but when he heard me saying I wished that clutter didn't bother me so much, he piped up that he was grateful for the way I kept our house. Thank you, Paul! Anyhow this article helped me understand why it feels like I have such a strong physical response to clutter. Now to see how many weeks it will take me to find all the parts of our Sorry! game. I have found cards and little colored pieces in quite a few rooms of our house including the kitchen and Ian's bedroom. Let's just say in the story about Mary and Martha in the Bible, I have great empathy for Martha.

It had said on my chore app that I was to clean the van and garage the weekend the cousins were here, but I purposefully delayed that a week knowing that things in the garage would be rearranged more than usual and there would probably be more things to vacuum in the van that usual given we had seven kids instead of three. When something is LONG overdue, the color changes to red for that particular chore. I have earned a RED for cleaning the bathtub since it's now 22 days overdue, but it's going to stay red until that bathtub project is complete. Hopefully soon!

To Baltimore and back

Originally the plan had been that three cousins would stay in Maryland, two would go to Texas with their parents, and three would come to our house on October 12. After Yvonne flew back to BWI on October 18, she would drive up here with the two youngest, spend the night, and return to Maryland with five of her kids on October 19. It ended up being better for the Towfighis to come up here on October 11. Nadia really, really wanted Joshua to stay with us rather than in Maryland with his two eldest siblings. The problem was that Josh really, really wanted to attend a box tunnel event that their church was putting on for the youth group on October 18. Yvonne said if I would drive her kids back to Maryland on October 18 then Joshua would stay with us for the week. I hope and pray Nadia is already aware of how deeply I love her because I chose #1 to give up time with my sister and #2 to drive for 7-8 hours in one day (something I pretty much NEVER do) so she could have a week with Joshua. She and Josh did seem to have a good time together. We left the house a little before 9:00am yesterday morning, and we got home around 7:30pm. I put away some groceries, did a little laundry, and promptly went to bed at 8:30pm with a headache and nausea I was so exhausted. It didn't help that I had woken up at 5:00am and was awake for a long time before I got a tiny bit more sleep. I had been dreaming about my brother, and I knew I had been crying in my dream, but when I woke up my face was wet and I realized I had been actually crying while dreaming. So this is true love, Nadia. That makes me think of one of Yvonne's favorite movies when she was a teenager - Princess Bride. "We are gathered here today...."

When the eight of us were in the van, Joshua always sat in the front with me, the three youngest were in the very back, and Nadia, Nathan and Ian were in the middle. Nathan was gracious to sit in the smaller (spare) middle seat because naturally both Ian and Nadia wanted to sit beside a cousin not beside a sibling! During our short drives throughout the week, I didn't allow them to watch any DVDs, and I only allowed Nathan to use his tablet on Monday for a little bit while Nadia was in choir rehearsal. Yesterday was a different story. I said no to screens for the first thirty minutes, and they were rather creative in playing a version of charades, creating stories, etc. Then the back row watched a DVD for an hour while the other four took turns playing on an iPad or Nintendo Switch. Then we had another 30 minute break from screens before they went back to using the various devices. The drive from our house to BWI was *supposed* to take a couple minutes shy of three hours according to my phone. In reality it took about 3 hours and 25 minutes because #1 Julianna threw up (in a trash can we passed back to her once she said she didn't feel well) and I stopped at a Chick Fil-A to clean out the trash can and allow her to wash her hands and face. This also provided a bathroom break for others. #2 we hit some traffic on the Baltimore beltway. I remember many times over the years where if you timed it right you wouldn't hit any traffic. It was a little before noon when we hit the traffic, which definitely shouldn't be "rush hour." It used to take me 3.5 hours to drive from our house to the house in Glenn Dale, MD, but it seems the norm is now at least 4 hours due to increased traffic. And #3 I had trouble finding the cell phone lot at the airport. We looped around the entire airport more than once before I located it. A woman from their church met us there, and somehow she managed to fit four kids plus a lot of luggage into her Ford Fusion (four pumpkins, three pillows, two air mattresses, backpacks, duffel bag, Christmas presents, etc.).

After the cousins were on their way, we drove to the Inner Harbor. I missed a turn (twice!) so we took a few loops around the Ravens' stadium before finally making it to a street near the Science Center. I would have taken all seven kids there first and met their friend later at BWI, but it would have cost $80 for their four kids to get into the museum because they don't have an ASTC membership. Every other time I've taken my kids there (quite a few times over the years since we get in free and they love science museums) I've had to pay for parking, but I managed to find free street parking yesterday that was very close to the museum. I'm not the best at parallel parking the minivan, but I have to say I did a very good job yesterday! We only stayed for two hours because my goal had been to get on the road by 3pm to avoid rush hour traffic. We did succeed in getting out of Baltimore before the rush hour traffic began, but we hit a lot of traffic around Harrisburg. We hadn't listened to a chapter book for a week while the cousins were here so we listened to a book by Beverly Cleary for about an hour and music the rest of the time. Nadia and Ian also did some reading. On our way home we stopped at Wendy's to get dinner (to go) and at a Sheetz for gas for the van plus so Ian could use the bathroom. Then we stopped at Aldi and Weis for some groceries on the way home. The grocery shopping added 30 minutes to our adventure. I drove a total of about eight hours yesterday. It should be a little more than a month before we have another significant drive, and Paul plans to go with us to Virginia so I won't have to do all the driving. Thank you, Lord! When I was a teenager, I didn't think anything of driving from Maryland to Ohio when I was in college. It's a different story now as we're both approaching half a century.

While the cousins were here the weather was really nice Saturday through Tuesday. It rained most of the day on Wednesday. It didn't rain on Thursday but was much cooler out and very windy. It's the time of year when 51 degrees feels like freezing whereas in February 51 feels warm and balmy. The kids were putting on winter coats, mittens, earmuffs, etc. when they played outside on Thursday. The cousins (plus Oliver) played in the indoor playland at our church for awhile on Thursday while Nadia and Ian had art (plus chorus for Nadia). When we were in the Inner Harbor yesterday it was gorgeous. We were greeted by blue skies and temperatures in the low 60s. I was actually wishing I had chosen to do something outside rather than the science museum, but the science museum was free. I had toyed with visiting the historic ships or the Baltimore Museum of Industry because we've never visited either of those, but they had fun at the science museum. I typically have taken them there once a year, but the last time I took them there was December 2017. They always lie on the bed of nails, and do the tug of war with the pendulum (when Nadia was on the easy side the boys and I could not beat her!).  Yesterday they did screen printing in "The Shed," which is the room where they always have hands-on projects. And they did three of the five experiments in the SciLab (DNA, polymers, and using acids/bases to identify the identity of one mixture). We were parked right next to Federal Hill park which was used during the War of 1812 and the Civil War so we also explored that for a few minutes before we got back in the van.

We were on our drive home when Ian asked if he could use FaceTime to call Joel and Nathan. LOL! I am totally fine with them using FaceTime to chat like Nadia does with her cousin, Rachel (in Chicago), but we were just together for a week and had only said goodbye to them about 3 hours ago. I denied that request, but it shows that they had a great time together and didn't want it to end. Earlier they were trying to talk me into spending Friday night in Maryland, but I am not ready for that emotionally. Just talking about it with a friend earlier this month brought on a panic attack. It's just too painful for me at this point given the passing of my brother. It would be totally different if the Towfighis didn't live in the house where Maurice lived a little more than 30 years of his life. On Thursday the kids had opted to push some of their schoolwork from that day to today in order to have more time to play with their cousins, so each of them did some schoolwork today although they usually get Saturdays and Sundays off. One upside of coming back home yesterday was that we were all able to visit Paul's mom in the rehab hospital today. She looked much better than when I saw her last week. Paul wasn't planning to join us today because he thought he'd be at work, but the kids and I used the jacuzzi this morning (because we can't use either shower right now) and some water leaked from the upstairs master bathroom down through the chandelier (light fixture) in the dining room and on to the dining room table. This is why we had NOT been using the jacuzzi the last few years because part of the floor has been ripped out in that bathroom, but we didn't have any choice the past three weeks. Ian discovered it when he saw water dripping on his Legos before breakfast this morning. Paul did finish repairing the toilet in the kids' bathroom yesterday (after our guests left). He's hoping we can use the kids' shower again starting on Monday. It's been more than 3 weeks since I've had a shower. I will savor it greatly once I can take another one!

Taste Buds

It seems very difficult sometimes to select foods that everyone likes. Generally at least two members of our family of five like a particular dish, but it seems challenging to find things all five of us like. Recently I made chicken cordon bleu for the first time in years. Paul was thrilled. He said it was the first thing I cooked for him when we began dating in 1997. I have no recollection of what I cooked for him 22 years ago. Paul and I were the only ones who liked the chicken cordon bleu. I left out the tomatoes (which I happen to LOVE) from the chili I made recently, but Oliver and I had to eat the entire crockpot of chili ourselves over the course of several days as no one else touched it. I should have waited until THIS week to make chili as Joshua tells me his family likes it. Julianna helped me make white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. I hadn't made those in quite a few months, and they are one of Paul's three most favorite types of cookies (he also loves Heath cookies and M and M cookies). Julianna took a tiny taste of one cookie and that was it. I felt badly that she helped me make them and wasn't able to enjoy eating them. In this instance my taste buds agree with her. I don't eat those cookies either.

Today I made a chicken tortellini soup. Since the Towfighis really loved the chicken and dumplings on Saturday, I thought this would also be a hit. Three of them didn't try it. They opted to have leftover spaghetti even though we were out of meatballs. Joshua did try it, and he must have liked it as he had three servings of it. All nine of us enjoyed the rigatoni and meatballs on Sunday. The Towfighis were excited when I said I was making chicken parmigiana and spaghetti on Monday, but it turns out I make it differently than their mom so most of them preferred to have leftover meatballs instead of the chicken. Joshua did tell me today that the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made him today was the best one he had ever had in his life. So there you have it. I have talent in making PBJ sandwiches, who knew? Six of the seven kids have been enjoying the jello I've made twice this week. Ian is the only one who doesn't eat jello. I'm planning to make nachos tomorrow night and tuna noodle casserole on Thursday. Here's to hoping most or maybe all seven of the kids might like one or both of those dishes!

If I wanted to please Ian and Nadia then I wouldn't serve anything that included rice or beans. They also don't like any kind of soup, stew, or chili. Lovely. It's almost impossible to find a side dish that Ian likes as he doesn't like macaroni and cheese, rice, baked beans, mashed potatoes, pierogis, sweet potatoes, etc. As far as vegetables go, my three will eat salad, corn, green beans, and carrots. Joel asked for baby carrots so I picked some of those up today. Julianna had been asking for broccoli. While she was in the grocery store with me, I pointed to the broccoli in the produce section and asked if that was what she meant. She said she wanted cooked  broccoli, so I bought a bag in the frozen food section. It turns out I should have bought it from the produce section. Joshua was disappointed, and Julianna only ate a very tiny portion she didn't like that the pieces were cut up. Oliver is the least picky eater in our family, but even he wasn't crazy about the soup tonight. Hopefully in time I'll find more recipes that everyone likes. All five of us like tuna noodle casserole, rigatoni and meatballs, pulled pork, pizza, breakfast bagels, quesadillas, tuna melt pie, chicken barbeque, and hamburgers. Four of us like manicotti, fish filets, sloppy joes, and lasagna.

I've been trying quite a few new recipes lately. In some cases, I plan to use the recipe again in the future. I really like taco salad and chicken enchiladas, but I wasn't loving the either recipe I tried for those two dishes recently even so I ate the lion share of those because I have a strong aversion to wasting food. I've already picked out a different one for chicken enchiladas and plan to give that one a whirl in the near future. I left the vegetables out of the shepherd's pie recently, but it still went over like a lead balloon. I'll keep trying, and hopefully in time they will like a wider variety of foods.