DST

  

Sometimes I wish PA didn't participate in DST. That's not enough motivation for me to want to move to Arizona though. The last two nights the kids were put down about one hour later than usual (8pm for Ian and 8:30 for Nadia), and the last two mornings they've woken up an hour earlier than usual, which means they lost about two hours of sleep each night. Not Fun. This morning I let both of them cry and didn't get them until 6:25 (Ian) and 6:45 (Nadia) since that will be 5:25 in two days. I hope their bodies adjust soon in terms of what time to wake up or they'll be starting their day around 4am beginning on Sunday. The good news is that Ian's afternoon nap was long today (80 minutes). WOOHOO! My friend, Cheri, whom I hadn't seen for a couple of months came over to visit from 12-2, and I really enjoyed chatting with her while they napped. Both kids woke up before she left (even though Nadia slept for 2 hours) so she also got to see them a little. This picture (at left) is another that my sister, Wendy, took in Maryland.

As you can see from the pics in yesterday's and today's posts, Ian really enjoys playing the piano. You can see from this pic (at right) that he plays it VERY boisterously. I keep thinking he's hurting his hands due to how hard he's banging the keys, but he just laughs and squeals with delight. Yesterday he was laughing so much that both Nadia and I joined in and were laughing with him.

Mixed Emotions

Tonight I really enjoyed teaching my graduate language arts class. I conduct nine debates over the course of the semester in that class. The two guys defending the negative side did a really good job tonight. It also hit me during my office hours that I feel badly that my advisees will have to switch to another advisor. I have about 60-70 advisees each year. I do really enjoy my job. There are moments when I don't want to quit. Of course there are aspects I won't miss like the rejections involved in the process of getting articles published and spending so much time grading. When I feel badly about walking away from my job, I am reminding myself of how hard it is to leave Ian and Nadia at Bobbi's house when Ian is screaming and I know Nadia is about to watch tv for two hours. I know I won't regret the decision. My kids are my top priority. I'm looking forward to having more time to spend with the kids and also more time to do other things like attend the entire choir rehearsal, join a ladies Bible study, start reading books again (other than ones such as Are you my mother?), etc.

Schedules

1. Ian finally has a feeding team appointment. Unfortunately it's for January 7th, which is 4 months after the referral was initiated. He's on their cancellation list so I'm hoping someone else cancels, and he can be seen sooner than that. I tried some cereal yesterday (mixed with squash), and he gagged. Another reason I hope the appointment is sooner than that is I am not 100% sure yet when my health insurance at the university will be cancelled.
2. I called another local pediatric urologist yesterday to find out if he'd feel comfortable doing Ian's next surgery. He said "no" and gave two names that he recommended - one in Hershey and one in Philadelphia (Children's Hospital). I made an appointment with one in Philly today. I was surprised that they said I could come tomorrow. I opted for Nov 16, which will be almost exactly one month after his first surgery. The clinic is 97 miles away. I chose a 2pm time in the hopes that naps will take place in the car.

3. I decided not to resign quite yet. I don't want to make a hasty decision, plus this way I can still teach the online class next summer. I just put in a request today that my leave for the spring be FT leave instead of PT leave. I'm still going to keep cleaning my office as if I won't be returning, but this gives us time to make certain before I give up my tenure and promotion. Plus it adds a little bit of money to our budget if I teach one online class next summer.

4. Nadia took a 3 hour nap on Monday, but yesterday for some bizarre reason she didn't nap at all. She was falling asleep in the car on the way home from the flu shot appointment (about 11:30), but I jiggled her and kept her awake and fed her lunch and put her down. She played in her crib for 3 hours but never slept. That was a first. What made it even more of a first was that Ian took a one hour nap in his crib during that time span. Yes, Ian napped more than Nadia yesterday. What a shock! Today after 45 minutes she woke up crying. I went up and told her she needed to sleep more. She cried some more and then fell back asleep. Ian fell asleep on the way home from gymnastics today (at 11:20) even though he'd just gotten up from his 30 minute morning nap at 9:30. I didn't count it as his nap and put him back down at 1:15. I am not sure why Nadia has had trouble napping yesterday and today. She usually doesn't give us any troubles.

5. Ian slept through the night last night!! I must give the boy credit for sleeping from 7:30pm to 6:00am. WOW! We put Nadia to bed at 8pm and she got up at 7am; I am hoping this trend will continue in light of the clocks changing in 4 days.

16 More Trips

  

Well it seems that my career as a professor will be ending sooner than I expected. Next month I will be finishing my 8th year as I began teaching at the university level in January 2003. Last week I had given Sarah the list of 13 more dates to see when she was available to watch the kids between now and December 10. I had been surprised she hadn't already given the list back to me. Yesterday I asked her about it because I didn't have any arrangements for next week yet. She told me she can't do any of them because Ian demands too much of her attention. She said she has to hold him all the time or he cries. Usually there are other kids there for at least part of the time. I was stunned as I had no idea that she has been holding him all the time. I certainly don't hold him all the time, but I know he did cry a lot for my in-laws when they watched the kids when Paul and I went out on Friday night. Maybe he's going through the "stranger" phase now. She said she was hoping that Ian would "settle down," and that she could watch them for us in the spring. My immediate reaction when I got in the car, called Paul, and told him the news was that I don't want to teach next semester. The kids have been going to three different babysitters this semester. In our opinion Sarah is by far the best of the three. I feel badly for Nadia as she loves playing with Abbey, but at least she'll still see her on Sundays at church. Our newest babysitter, Bobbi, has been our least favorite. Our chief complaint is that she uses the tv as the babysitter and allows them to watch shows I don't want them to watch.

This morning I wrote another list of the same 13 dates and took it over to Beth (our neighbor) to see if they could do any of them. She told me she thinks her daughter can do them all, and that Beth will watch the kids until Gabby gets home from school (as I leave before the school bus brings her home). It was weird as I was conducting my office hours yesterday to be thinking that I'll only be driving to this campus 16 more times (Paul can watch the kids when I go to give 3 final exams). I was supposed to be attending a meeting at another college in 2 weeks, but I emailed the woman at PDE last night and told her I don't have a babysitter for that day - which is true. It was to be an all day meeting. I am grateful that I already had begun the process of sorting through books and files. I had no idea that these tasks would need to be completed by Dec 16 (the last day I'll be in my office). I am not looking forward to telling my department chair tomorrow. I am glad that the farewell isn't going to be as long and drawn out as I thought it would be. I am grateful that Paul and I are in agreement on this. Previously he had still been leaning toward hoping I would continue to teach part-time, but he had the same reaction yesterday that I just need to stay home with the kids.

As I've been going through my books at school, I've gotten really excited about homeschooling as I've been setting aside quite a few books that I think will help me in planning my lessons. The lowest grade I taught was 5th grade, but I have many early childhood books in my office because I've taught several ECE courses. It's funny because from the time I was a child through a few years ago I always assumed my children would attend a Christian school. I attended Christian schools/colleges from 1977-1992 and then I worked in Christian schools (teacher then principal) from 1992-2003. Paul attended public school until part way through high school when he transferred to a Catholic school. From his experience he had decided that he wanted his children to attend either private school or be homeschooled. Let me say here that I think it's a personal decision that each family needs to make for their own children. I think there are some wonderful public school teachers, Christian school teachers, and homeschooling parents. I also think there are some awful public and private school teachers and homeschooling parents. I don't think you can say any one of those choices is always the right or the wrong choice. As we were dating, Paul always mentioned homeschooling. In  my mind I was leaning toward Christian school with homeschool as the second option. In all honesty my ranking of those two only switched in the past 2 years, and this has become further cemented in my mind now that I'm giving up my tenure and promotion to stay home with the kids. If they were in private school I could see myself continuing to work (at least part-time) outside the home. Anyhow although I don't have any personal experience with homeschooling (although one of my sisters homeschools and my mom did homeschool my brother) and although I've always assumed I'd send my kids to a private school, I am really, really, really excited about homeschooling my children. I have no idea how many years I'll homeschool them. Time will tell, but I am really excited about starting preschool in January. I am grateful the textbook companies have sent me books even on subjects like art. When I received those books I'd think, why did they send me this? Now I am planning to put those books to good use! I am really excited!

Candy and Corn

Nadia's first Halloween took place about a month after we moved into our current home. I got her a pair of bumblebee pj's at Walmart, bought some candy at CVS, turned on our light, and waited for the kids to come so I could show off my bumblebee and give them candy. No one came. I later found out that in our town all of the trick or treating takes place downtown. I guess a portion of the town buys the candy for everyone. There are quite a few kids in our little development. I'd much rather take the kids trick or treating in our neighborhood than downtown where we don't know anyone. Our church had a "trunk or treat" event yesterday evening, and the plan to have another one next year. I feel guilty when looking at Facebook today that I haven't taken my kids trick or treating the past 3 years (although I know some abstain for religious reasons). Either I'll work something out with the neighbors or we'll do a trunk or treat next year. Nadia didn't eat any pieces of candy yesterday, but she did have fun decorating a sugar cookie with frosting and such at the Fall Fest at church yesterday afternoon. I'll have to keep the weather in mind when choosing an outfit for her as she would have been soooo cold in her princess outfit if she was wearing that outside last night. I got that costume last year on clearance at Toys R Us more for a dress-up outfit than Halloween in particular. Her first two "costumes" were pjs, and actually she still wears her penguin pjs. I plan to go to Walmart tomorrow and check out the Halloween clearance for costumes for the future or just stuff the kids can use to dress-up in (dramatic play as they'd call it at a childcare center).

Ian has made improvements with eating baby food lately. I'd say that he's now at the typical stage of a 6 month old. I haven't tried baby cereal again, but I plan to do so this week. Last Tuesday he ate an entire container of stage 1 squash in one day. Today I tried a container of stage 2 squash plus corn and it didn't go quite as well, but still it's not nearly the battle that it was to get him to consume a few bites. I have tried Cheerios and sweet potato puffs again, and those still make him gag. A couple of weeks ago I tried a piece of candy corn. With Nadia I was so strict about no sugar until she turned one, but with Ian since he just won't eat I was curious. He has refused things like a dab of whipped cream, but he loved the piece of candy corn. I was so excited! I never thought I'd be excited over my child wanting a piece of candy, but it was the first truly solid piece of food that he liked. Don't worry, I haven't given him any more candy corn. He's only had one piece. It did give me hope though that maybe some day he'll like eating solid foods more than he does now. Over the next 6 weeks I'd like to see a big shift in terms of the ratio between solid foods consumed versus milk. We shall see how that goes! I also have to give Ian credit for sleeping in until almost 7am this morning! He screamed for awhile around 4:50am, but he actually went back to sleep. Usually he doesn't go back to sleep. It would have meant a great night of sleep for me since I went to bed around 9pm , but Nadia woke up with a bad coughing fit at 5:30am so she was in bed with us from 5:30-7:00am. So I have been awake since 4:50. It seems like the kids take turns. If Ian decides to have a good night, then Nadia has a bad one. LOL!

Sometimes they're hard....

Sometimes Sundays are hard. It seems like the wrong thing to say in reference to the Lord's Day, but for me it's true. First, aside from when we're in Maryland, I'm sitting by myself in the pew after I come down from the choir loft. For more than 12 of the past 28 months I was holding a baby in my arms. I didn't feel alone then. I think that's another reason I miss holding a baby during church. Second, being at church from 9am-12pm really wreaks havoc on their schedules. Although I'm able to keep Ian awake until at least 12:30pm when he's at home, many times a nursery worker lets him sleep for 30 minutes during the service which means I then have to keep him up for more than 7 hours straight. This leads to a VERY cranky boy. Today I did let him take a 10 minute nap around 2pm as I couldn't take the crying any more, but we still had another battle at 6pm when he desperately wanted to go to sleep whereas last night I had no trouble keeping him up until 7:15pm. Since Nadia usually goes down for her nap around 12pm, she tends to fall asleep as soon as we get in the car after church. It's then hard to get her to eat lunch when we get home (sometimes I don't even try), and then it takes her a long time to fall back asleep. Normally it's not that big of a deal, but it was a problem today because we went to a "Fall Fest" at church this afternoon. Nadia enjoyed it, so I'm sure she's glad I woke her up, but it meant that instead of her usual 2-3 hour nap she only had a 30 minute nap. Nadia had her face painted, decorated a sugar cookie, ate her first Smore after I roasted a few marshmallows over the fire, and spent a lot of time jumping on an inflatable the church had rented. We would have stayed longer but the wind made it feel MUCH cooler than the 52 degrees my car said it was outside. I realize that if their afternoon naps started later, it wouldn't be such a problem. There's nothing I can do about it now because we leave between 2:40-2:50pm for the babysitter's house (depending on which babysitter they're going to) 3 days a week. Since Nadia sometimes naps for 3 hours, I need to get her down by 12pm at the latest. Once my trips to campus cease in May, I plan to shift their nap times later so that coming home from church at noon won't be such a problem.

Sometimes the comments people make really hurt. A few days ago when I told someone that Ian had recently had surgery, she asked if it had been on his face. My heart hurt so badly when she said that. I know she didn't mean any harm. I imagine she probably felt badly when I said it was urological. It took me back to the days when I was in middle and high school in reference to things I heard people say to or about my brother. Those comments back then hurt a lot also. I felt badly for Ian that someone might think he looks like he needs surgery for his face. I hope this doesn't become a frequent incident. I'm going to need a thicker skin around my heart if it does as my instinct was to burst into tears. Thankfully I handled it well at the moment, but I have to say every time I think about it, my heart aches for my sweet little boy. I guess I shouldn't be so shocked as after I finished my orthodontic work in high school a surgeon suggested that I have surgery on my cheekbone. He said the insurance would pay for it because my cheekbone doesn't protect my eyes the way it's supposed to. He said I should wear glasses rather than contacts to protect my eyeballs.I wasn't interested in any more surgeries, and frankly I can't see myself agreeing to have any surgery done on Ian's cheekbone either.

Time changes also can be hard with little ones. Next Sunday our clocks go back an hour. Paul used to celebrate this time change every fall. It was just about as exciting as a holiday for him, lol. I am thinking that starting tomorrow we should start pushing their bedtimes back a few minutes each night and also make them stay in bed a little later in the morning. Right now I won't get Ian until 5:30am. He's usually up long before then. I won't get Nadia before 6:00am. If I don't gradually try to adjust their internal clocks, I fear I will be getting up at 4:30am every day starting next Sunday.

Ian can't wear too many of Nadia's hand-me-downs, but this evening he did wear a black turtleneck and Steeler jacket that she wore last year. Aren't they the two cutest little Steeler fans? The photos of Nadia were taken on the day we won our 6th Superbowl. The Steelers are playing this evening, and their next two games are also at night. This is great for my dad because it means he'll get to see three games in a row on tv in MD. It's not good for me because the games are on past my bedtime, which means I'll miss most of tonight's game as well as the next two games. Hopefully tomorrow morning I'll find out that we won!

Dressing Up

Nadia has really been enjoying dressing up a lot more lately. She's frequently seen wearing a hat or a pair of "fancy" shoes or as seen in this picture taken this morning, my shoes. Sometimes she also likes to dress Ian up. The poor boy isn't too keen on wearing one of Nadia's hats, lol. Ah the life of being the younger brother....

On Sunday she turned 28 months old. It's the first time I didn't write a post about it like I did the previous 27 months. I probably would have if we hadn't been in Maryland. Of course at this age the changes from month to month aren't as dramatic as they are at Ian's age. One thing I have wanted to mention though is that we are reading a LOT these days, which thrills this Mommy's heart! Her three favorite books at the moment are The little engine that could, Have you got my purr?, and a nursery rhyme book that contains Humpty Dumpty. I am very thankful that she doesn't ask us to read the same book over and over and over and over again. I read the same books a few times a day but thankfully not many times in a row. Variety is the spice of life, eh?
Below are 4 pics that Wendy took on Sunday of the kids in their costumes. Enjoy! Thanks so much, Wendy!!!

Miscellaneous Musings

Photo taken by my sister, Wendy, at Allen's Pond in MD

1. I discovered while looking at the photos I took today of Nadia's second gymnastics class that she was wearing the same outfit last Wed. I will make sure NOT to have her wear this outfit next Wednesday before her teacher thinks she only has one outfit, lol. Today there were only two girls in the class so Nadia is getting a lot of individualized instruction!

2. Some grocery stores DO realize that people might have more than one young child. I took the kids to Weis today en route to gymnastics. I'd never been to this particular Weis although that was my grocery store of choice in our previous home. They had carts that accomodated 2 children up top (with a wheel for each in addition to the seatbelt) and they had carts that accomodated 4 children - two up top and two in a car attached to the front. WOW! A stroller with four seatbelts! I used one of those this time so that Nadia could drive the car. She loved it. Plus the cashier gave her a lollipop, which also put a big smile on her face. I was a bit overwhelmed after shopping in a little store the last 6 years, but I'm sure I can adjust to a bigger grocery store. I have missed their lite rye bread. Yum! I need to find out if they take internet coupons.

3. We talked with Beth and Gabby yesterday on our way home from a trip to the playground (without coats on at the end of October!). I found out the reason she had abruptly stopped babysitting and was relieved to know it had nothing to do with us. Whew. All that stress I put myself through over nothing!

 4. It means so much to hear a compliment. It's always good to be reminded of that so that I can remember to encourage others. Three that stuck out to me lately were when someone just gushed and gushed about how cute Ian is at the hospital last Monday (that happend all the time with Nadia but has been much rarer with Ian), when my sister and mom complimented me on my latest haircut this weekend (I got it cut 11 days ago), and when a former student gushed about how I looked (I'm assuming she was referring to the weight loss) on Monday night at work. Each of these really meant a lot to me!!

5. Putting Ian down to bed later doesn't help. Last night Paul waited until 7:30pm to put Ian down, and Ian woke up even earlier this morning (3:30am). I didn't go get him until 5:30am. I also put him down later for his afternoon nap (1:15pm instead of 12:30), but he still only slept 25 minutes. He so badly wants a third nap when his two naps put together total less than one hour. Yesterday I used the 20 minute nap overlap to give Paul a haircut. Today I used it to get dressed for work tonight.

Hope Springs Eternal

You'd think that since we've never conceived without an andrologist being involved in the process (and we started ttc in May 2002), I'd never consider the possibility that we might get pregnant "on our own." However, in the past 10 months there have been two occasions when I've considered using a hpt. The first was several months ago (I can't remember exactly when). Paul was the one who mentioned the possibility due to my nausea, but I wrote it off as being due to sleep deprivation. The second occurred 2 weeks ago. I was having really bad heartburn for several days. The first time I ever experienced heartburn was early in my pregnancy with Nadia. It went away immediately after she was born. With Ian it didn't go away until the placenta was removed in January. When I had heartburn a couple of weeks ago I was really surprised. I looked at my fertility friend chart to see what day it was, and since I was in the low 30's, I contemplated buying a hpt. I hated to waste the money. I view it as being about the same as peeing on a $5 bill. Thankfully I held off. It turns out the heartburn was due to stress over Ian's surgery. I've gone almost 3 years without staring at a one lined hpt. I'd like to extend the length of that streak as long as possible.

Once the heartburn went away I was no longer tempted to test. Yesterday AF arrived, and what surprised me was that I felt some sadness. Not anywhere near as sad as I used to feel on day one back when we were doing injections. The worst was after the first fresh embryo transfer in August 2007. I really didn't think I still had any hope that we'd get pregnant on our own. Evidently I haven't lost all hope yet. Frankly I don't think that's a good thing. I think emotionally it would be easier if I could 100% come to grips with the idea that our family is complete. The other thing that surprised me was that I felt this angst toward my body. We know now that morphology is our biggest fertility issue, and that has nothing whatsoever to do with my body. I wonder how common it is for the woman to still feel at fault even if the couple has a male factor issue?

Another area in which hope seems to spring eternal is regarding Ian's sleeping habits. Paul put him down at 6:50pm last night. He slept until 4:30am. I thought that was too early for him to get up so I closed our bedroom door and rolled over onto my left side as my hearing in my right ear is still not very good (that's the eardrum that broke a few months ago). When I woke up at 5:30, I opened our door. Ian was crying so I went and got him. From how he was when I got him, I really don't think he had been crying for an hour, but since Paul and I were both sleeping, we can't say for sure. This morning his nap was 23 minutes long. I had high hopes that his afternoon nap would be about 75 minutes long since that's what he did yesterday and what he had been doing prior to his surgery. Wrong. He took another 20 minute nap. This time I let him cry for 30 minutes in the hopes he would fall back asleep. Wrong. I have no idea what to do to get this boy to sleep more. We've been putting him down between 7:00-7:30 at night, and I won't get him before 5:30. I've been putting him down at 8:30am and 12:30pm for his 2 naps. He needs more sleep than he's getting!!! Letting him cry was a total bust since he didn't go back to sleep AND it kept Nadia awake.

Road Trip Report

The last time we took the kids on a long road trip was in May. It didn't go very well, which was why we waited 5 months before attempting that feat again. I am happy to report that it went much better this time. Friday we left around 11:30am in the hopes that both children would take their afternoon nap en route. We let Nadia watch VeggieTales and then got her a bagel at Dunkin Donuts for lunch, and then asked her to take a nap. Her nap was cut short because she threw up (phlegm) while sleeping. Actually she fell back asleep after the first time she vomited, but after the second time (what a mess!), she couldn't get back to sleep so we let her watch more VeggieTales until we got to my parents. Her nose was running like crazy; Paul felt like he was turning around to wipe it every few seconds (I was driving). Ian was angel until about the last 30 minutes. Without any stops, the trip takes 3.5 hours. We made a few stops and also got lost at the end (trying a different route), so it took 4.75 hours. Ian was crying so hard at the end that he also threw up. Paul cleaned out both car seats soon after we arrived. He also went to CVS to buy Nadia some allergy medicine because her nose was running nonstop.

Saturday my sister took some family photos at a local park. I can't wait to see how they turned out. I am sure we'll use one for our Christmas card. She also took some pics of Ian and Nadia in their costumes (giraffe and princess) on Sunday afternoon. I'll post some after I get them. She takes great pics!!! I'm sure I'll never be as good a photographer as she is, but some days I do contemplate getting myself a better camera. It's amazing how becoming a mom changes your use of a camera. I used to only use it on vacations, and now I take pictures almost every day.

I made a trip to CVS for Nadia on Saturday for some children's Ibuprofen because she had a 101 degree fever. I also went to the grocery store and got her some popsicles after she threw up her lunch because she usually won't drink water, and milk didn't seem to be the wise choice at the moment. I have to give her credit for getting to the bathroom in time. The only reason we had anything to clean up was because she left the toilet prematurely, but she quickly went back so 90% of what came up ended up in the toilet. I think that's pretty good for a 2 year old. I feel badly that both kids throw up so much. I can't relate to that. I can go many years without doing that. Since her fever was gone on Sunday morning and she seemed herself, we took her to church. She did a great job in the 2 year old class. Ian started his first nap on the way to church, so I let him nap on me during the beginning part of the service. Unfortunately they put him back down for another nap after he had only been up a little bit. It's not good to have the afternoon nap start prior to 10:30am. It was very hard to keep him up until 6:45pm, but we did manage that feat. He went to church wearing an adorable size 12 month 3 piece suit, and he came home wearing a size 4T romper because he chucked all over his clothes while they were trying to change his diaper.

The trip back went very smoothly. Ian fussed and cried and then fell asleep at 6:45. He slept the whole way home and didn't wake up when I transferred him from the car to the crib. Paul said Ian cried for about 15 minutes around midnight. I slept through that. I didn't hear him until 5:25am. Still this means he slept 10.5 hours total, which was much better than what he did while we were in MD. Friday night was particularly awful. Between Nadia and Ian we were up about every hour the whole night. We didn't know at that point that Nadia was fighting a bug of some sort. Considering I had started my day at 3:40am on Friday, I was exhausted on Saturday morning. Nadia watched VeggieTales for the first maybe 70 minutes of our trip home, and then after fussing and crying for about 25 minutes she fell asleep and slept almost the whole way home. She also stayed asleep while Paul carried her to her crib. I was amazed that we transferred them both without them waking up. I went to bed immediately (about 10pm). The last 10 days the longest nap Ian took in his crib was 35 minutes. His nap was 30 minutes this morning, but thankfully his afternoon nap today was 75 minutes long.