IVF #3

Before I share our exciting news, let me say that if you're someone I see face-to-face, could you please NOT talk about this while Paul is around? He doesn't enjoy chatting about ivf. My guess is that's probably true for most men. As you know if you've been reading this blog for the last year, I've been longing to have one more baby, and I figured that ivf #3 was probably the only way that would happen. Paul didn't share my desire to do ivf again. I really didn't think he was going to change his opinion. I had been praying that either the Lord would take away my desire for another baby or that He might enable us to conceive "on our own." Although humanly speaking it seems impossible, I figured that if God wanted us to have another baby, He could even enable that to happen without medical intervention. If it had been up to me, we'd have started the ivf process this past January. My main concern with waiting is the fact that the success statistics drop down pretty quickly each year as you approach 40, but that's water under the bridge. One advantage of having waited a year is that I won't have to wonder if we would have been able to conceive on our own. We jumped immediately into ivf #2 after Nadia weaned herself. I had heard of people (in fact two of my cousins) who got pregnant on their own after having a baby through ivf. There was always a tiny little part of me that wondered "what if" we had tried a little on our own. Well I don't wonder about that any more.

We had been talking recently about what I should do next year. I had made a comment about I'd be willing to keep working part-time if I could do ivf again. Since I really thought Paul wasn't open to doing ivf again, I didn't think he'd really give that any thought. I was wrong! He surprised me by telling me on Thursday night that we could do ivf again. I'm going to teach two nights in the spring semester (Tuesday/Thursday), and teach two online classes again next summer I realize there's no guarantee that ivf #3 will result in a baby in our arms, but it is exciting to feel like there's at least a chance we might have one more little miracle. I looked up the stats again, and if you combine the last three reported years (2007-2009) for my age group (38-40), the clinic I've gone to for my first 2 ivfs had a 35% success rate if you just narrow it down to those who made it to a transfer. Of those 9 women who gave birth, 6 gave birth to one baby, 2 gave birth to twins, and 1 gave birth to triplets. I didn't include FET's in the stats. I also looked into Hershey's program because they're considered a "preferred provider" with Paul's student insurance. During that same time span, they had a 43% success rate for my age group. All 13 women gave birth to just one baby. The hospital I've used in the past charges $8,200 up front and it can cost a little more than that if you need things like ICSI ($450) or assisted hatching ($300). Hershey said you can either just pay for the egg retrieval/transfer ($6,028 which is just $28 more than what our hospital charges) or you can pay $9,073, which includes the bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc (everything except the medication). I read the PSU grad insurance handbook again, and they make it very clear that they don't pay for ANY fertility treatments or medications - not even Clomid (which is cheap!). So I don't see any financial advantage to going to Hershey. In fact it's probably a little more expensive, and I don't think the extra driving time (an extra 2.5 hours RT) is worth a little bit better success rate, considering how many trips are made during an IVF cycle. Plus as Paul said, we've had a 100% success rate (per fresh cycle, not per transfer) with this clinic thus far. In the end the stats don't matter. It's 100% up to God. If He wants us to have another baby, the cycle will be a success even if we're the only success for that age bracket at that clinic in 2012. If He doesn't want us to have another baby, we could be at a clinic with a really high success rate and still not end up with a baby in our arms. He is in control not the stats!

I'd like to actually make use of my paid sick leave for once. I used none for Nadia since she came during the summer, and I used 2 weeks for Ian. I could have used a total of 16 weeks between the two deliveries as you're allowed 8 weeks per c-section. I'd really like to use a full 8 weeks if I give birth a third time. Paul also likes the idea of waiting a few more months. Finally, if we push the retrieval into January, it means I can file the paperwork to request the maximum allowed to be set aside in the medical savings account (or whatever it's called). I think it's around $6,000. That income then becomes tax free, which would make the ivf cheaper for us. I looked through my previous ivf cycles to try to figure out a timeline, and I'm thinking that I should start the bcp no later than December 1 and the fsh shots by December 22nd to have a January 3rd retrieval (approximately). If that was the ER date, the EDD (if I got a BFP) would be September 25. The semester starts on August 27. Based on those dates, I'd hit 36w on August 28. I gave birth to Nadia at 36w and Ian at 34w. I'd really, really like to go closer to full term this time as I really, really, really don't want to have another baby in the NICU, but I'd rather not have the EDD be the end of August just in case I do go early again. This way even if I have the baby 4 weeks early I'd still be able to use 8 weeks of paid leave. What do you think? Does this sound like a good plan? I spoke with the finance lady yesterday, but the nurse who is now the head IVF nurse was too busy to be able to call me back. When I spoke to the former ivf nurse almost a year ago, she told me that they were no longer doing up/down cycles like they used to do. There used to be only select weeks they did retrievals and transfers throughout the year. She told me last year that they are now doing them year round. I hope that's still the case or that early January is an "up" time if they're back to having up/down times.

I'm sorry this is turning into a lengthy post. Our last decision to make (by Tuesday) in light of this new bit of information, is which insurance we should pick. PSU's insurance will cost us $3,574 for the year. If I switch back to my university's (Blue Shield) insurance, it will cost us $9,922 since I'm only working part-time. At first it seems obvious to stay with PSU's, but Blue Shield will cover $2,200 of the ivf costs that PSU's won't. Plus Blue Shield pays for all the medications (minus some small co-pays) whereas PSU won't pay for any of the meds. In the past the most Follistim I've needed was 1,500iu, Repronex or Menopur - 750iu plus Lupron and Ovidrel or hCG. Unless I was able to get them through Craigslist or something like that, the meds would likely cost at least $2,000. That brings the gap between the two insurances down to about $2K. We decided to switch back to Blue Shield because if we end up with a situation like Nadia (who was a FET) then the gap will probably be totally gone. The other two advantages to switching back to Blue Shield are #1 that we can save 4 hours RT for doctor appts for Ian (such as a pediatric Allergist) and #2 if I do give birth next fall, the university has to pay for my insurance for a year. Well we still have to make some contribution, but it will be a LOT less than what we'll pay this year while I'm working part-time. So it seems Paul had this change of heart regarding ivf in the nick of time as the deadline for either declining or accepting the PSU insurance is September 6. I'm going to contact my HR to make sure that we won't have a lapse in coverage. We shouldn't since the fall semester began on August 29.

The bottom line is that I am very excited that there is at least a possibility that I'll have another baby. I was very grateful to be able to pick up the items that didn't sell from the consignment shop yesterday. I won't be trying to sell or give away any other baby items for at least a few more months. I'm trying not to get my hopes up tooo high, but it's hard not to hope it will be a success. Even if it isn't, I know I won't have any regrets because if we hadn't tried again I know I always would have wondered if we might have been able to have a third child if we had tried ivf again. Yesterday we also stopped at the mall, and while the kids were "riding" the rides (without me using any $$), one of the nurses from the fertility clinic walked by! I hadn't seen her since 2009. It was really a funny coincidence since I had been on the phone with the fertility clinic that same morning. I'll never forget this particular nurse as she was the one who tried to console me when we found out we were losing our first baby ( July 2005). I also have to say I am like the nurse (Joanie) who has been promoted to head nurse better than the one who had been head nurse the past several years. The RE we worked with the most has retired so I'll be seeing a new RE. I'm praying for a BFP in January!