Bumps in the road

Over the past 18 months I have submitted 158 applications. I have checked websites like HigherEdJobs.com umpteen times a day. I did #123 for Paul and #35 for myself on Tuesday night. I went to bed very excited that night knowing Paul was scheduled to interview at Bucknell on Friday and at Mars Hall either March 7 or 16. The biggest positives for Bucknell included that we wouldn't have to move, it would hopefully help him get a permanent job the following year, and he would be able to do more research with the professor who was his advisor when he earned his master's degree. The tenure track position at Mars Hill was what Paul had considered to be his dream job for the past nine years - teaching physical chemistry at a small college in a state we both thought would be nice to live in. We had lost hope that he would ever interview on a campus for such a position as over the past 18 months he had never made it past the phone interview stage for his "dream job" until this week. Lately he hadn't sounded very upbeat after his phone interviews, but  after his phone interview with Mars Hill on Monday morning, he sounded very excited about the possibility of teaching physical chemistry and physics because he would have small classes and only be teaching chemistry majors.

Wednesday morning Paul changed his mind and decided to decline both interviews. He told me he doesn't enjoy talking in front of a group of people and never wanted to teach again. This was a huge shock to me. I knew he didn't enjoy the mass lectures, but I didn't realize that he also didn't enjoy talking in front of 18 students in his labs. He told me he had no idea what type of job he would like to do. In the past he has been unable to find any jobs in his field of chemistry outside of higher education. He said his plan was to go back to work for his dad until I got a job. I had viewed my going back to work FT as "Plan B" if Paul was unable to get another job in higher education. I had prayed that if He wanted me to go back to work FT that He would close the doors for Paul and open one for me. Having Paul be the one to close the door on "Plan A" makes it a trickier decision for me. He did talk on the phone on Wednesday night with my friend Cheri's husband about a potential local job doing thermodynamic calculations.

Wednesday through Friday were challenging days for me, as it seemed that all we had invested from January 2006 -2013 while he was a full-time student was going down the drain. Of course I want Paul to be in a job that he enjoys, but it seemed premature to me to assume that he'd never enjoy it, especially when he had no idea what job he might enjoy doing for the next 20 years aside from being a stay-at-home dad. He enjoys helping students during his office hours, and he enjoys the majority of the lab time (when he's going around and helping one or two students at a time). The part he doesn't enjoy accounts for 3.25 hours a week - the time spent talking in front of either 18 or 130 students at one time. His peer evaluations this semester were very positive, so it seems he's doing a fine job even if it's stressful for him. Paul's advisor at Bucknell asked if they could get together yesterday, and they did. Over the past past eight years, Dave has been a BIG encouragement to Paul. After talking with Dave, Paul agreed to reschedule his interview for April 11. He will be the last (of three) candidates that they will interview for the position. We are so thankful that Paul has been given not one but two chances to interview at Bucknell for this one year position. I'm still in utter shock that Paul turned down the interview in North Carolina, but I'm thankful there is still one chance that he might be teaching next fall. At this point he's not willing to interview for any permanent positions or any positions that involve moving. It makes it seem like far more is riding on this interview than any other interview he's had over the past year because it seems unlikely that any other schools within a reasonable drive of our house will be interviewing for a FT chemistry adjunct for next year. The good news is that we won't be in suspense for long. We would appreciate prayers that Paul would do his very best at this interview, and that we would have peace while we wait to find out what the end result will be.

Paul gave two reasons last night when I asked him why he changed his mind and agreed to interview. First, he mentioned what my dad had said in an email that most first year seminary professors would feel like quitting, but the second year would go better, and they would be glad they hadn't quit after the first year. Second, Dave said that Paul could do some bio-physical computational chemistry research, and this research could help him get a job in the private sector in 2015 if his opinion of teaching didn't change (ex. with a pharmaceutical company for example). I had my first interview on Wednesday morning. I thought it went well. It felt funny to be on that side of the table for the first time in 10 years, as I chaired many searches at Bloomsburg. I have a feeling I wouldn't accept if they ended up offering me a job because the position is a lecturer position (rather than assistant or associate professor). Until we find out the result of Paul's interview at Bucknell, I am taking a break from submitting applications or checking job posting sites. For now, I am thankful that there is still a chance Paul will be using his PhD in chemistry in the fall.