18 Years

Paul and I started dating in 1997, and we were married on August 11, 2011 exactly one month before 9/11. A lot has changed over the past eighteen years.

1. I bought our first home in January 2001. We moved in 2004 and 2008. Our current home cost more than three times what our first house cost. There are definite perks to our current home such as the kids have other children to play with in our small development and we usually have central air conditioning. However, truth be told, if I could go back in time, I wish we had never left our second home. It cost a lot less money, we didn't have to deal with water in the basement, and Paul's commute to work would be MUCH shorter. We paid off our mortgage this past spring, which means we are now debt free for the first time in our marriage.

2. Before we had children we took nine vacations to other countries - England, France, Mexico, Aruba, China, Italy, Spain, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, and the Virgin Islands. Since

Nadia was born all of our vacations have included other extended family members. Paul's parents went with us to Antigua, Grand Cayman, a Caribbean cruise, San Diego, Cape Cod, Myrtle Beach, and three trips to Florida. The kids and I have spent three weeks with Aunt Janet on Long Island, one week with my sister in Chicago, two trips to Florida with my side of the family, a week in the Poconos with my parents, one week in Sandusky, Ohio, and one week with my parents in Williamsburg. Aside from spending a few hours in Canada last August, we haven't left the country since May 2012.

3. When we got married I drove a Toyota Corolla and Paul owned a Honda Civic. Over the past 18 years we have purchased four vehicles. Paul purchased a second Civic, and in 2012 when we traded his Civic in towards our minivan, his car became what had been my red Prius. We currently drive two grey vehicles. Nadia and I do not approve of the color choice! Paul got a Mazda last year, and I've been driving our Sienna for

seven years. The van is the only vehicle either of us ever purchased brand new. It currently has about 125,000 miles on it. We're hoping to get at least three more years out of it as we need time to save up money to purchase a replacement.

4. I've gone to five churches over the past 18 years. About one year after we were married Paul asked me to switch churches. From 2004-2008 I was a member of First Baptist in Danville, from 2009-2014 I was a member of First Baptist in Milton, and I'm currently a member of Christ Wesleyan, which is where we've attended the past five years.

5. Our road to becoming parents involved tens of thousands of dollars (far more was spent on our adoption efforts than fertility treatments) and hundreds of shots. I was pregnant six times, and three of those pregnancies ended with me giving birth. We are eternally grateful for our three children!!! I am also very thankful that all three of them have accepted Christ as their personal Savior. I'm also very,

very grateful that Paul convinced me that we should homeschool our children.

6. In addition to the babies we lost, we have experienced the passing of family members. My last remaining grandparent passed away, and three of Paul's grandparents passed away over the past 18 years. The hardest two losses were of my mom in July 2016 and my brother on March 3, 2019. Paul took Maurice's passing very hard as well. I greatly appreciated Paul's support, especially during those first few days after I received that fateful phone call from the police. Our extended family has grown over the past 18 years as Drayton and Millie joined our extended family in 2003, my two sisters had a total of 12 children in that time span, and my dad married Margie two years ago.

7. Between the two of us we completed four degrees during our marriage. I completed my doctorate in December 2002, and Paul finished his BS in Mathematics from PSU a few years after that. He studied chemistry full time from January

2006 through January 2013 - first taking undergraduate classes at Bloomsburg University, then at Bucknell for two years where he earned his MS, and finally at Penn State for 4.5 years where he earned his Ph.D. in Physical Chemistry in 2013.

8. We didn't have any hospitalizations or surgeries in the early years of our marriage, but we had quite a few from 2008-2014 including three C-sections, one D&C for me to remove Ian's placenta when he was 6 weeks old, three NICU stays, two rides in an ambulance for Oliver and I, three hypospadias repair surgeries (two for Ian and one for Oliver), two endoscopies for Ian, a four week intensive feeding program for Ian in Hershey, and four other hospitalizations for Oliver for things like RSV, a collapsed lung, and a fractured skull. 2012 was definitely the year we spent the most time in a hospital between Ian's feeding program (4 weeks), my hospitalization during Oliver's pregnancy (10 weeks), and Oliver's NICU stay (4 weeks). Aside from her time in the NICU after birth, Nadia

has not had any hospitalizations or surgeries. Aside from having moles removed, Paul has also avoided surgeries and the hospital.

9. Over the past 18 years we've gone from a landline phone to 2 iPhones, from dial-up internet with a desktop computer to a cable modem and router for our laptop computers and iPad.

10. When we were dating and first married Paul had four teams he cheered for (NBA, NFL, college football, and college basketball). Over time he gave them up one by one, and the last few years he's only watched the NY Giants. We used to have cable tv year round for most of our marriage, but the last several years we've only had cable for 4-6 months a year. My new hobby has been photography. I've sung in a choir all 18 years. Some of those years I was the director of the choir and other years I also played in a handbell choir. I played my flute quite a bit from 2004-2014, but I haven't had many opportunities to play it the last five years.

11. Paul had three jobs over the past 18 years. He worked at Kennedy Concrete from 2001-2005, half of 2013, and 2016-present. He was unemployed for seven years while he was in graduate school, and he was a visiting professor for one year at Bloomsburg University (2013-14 and two years at Bucknell University (2014-2016). I was a principal for the first two years of our marriage, professor at Kutztown for 18 months, and a professor at Bloomsburg University for 10.5 years (August 2004- January 2013 and August 2017- May 2019). I was a stay-at-home homeschooling mom for 4.5 years of our marriage (January 2013 - July 2017).

12. As I look over the past eighteen years, I think my favorite time period was from September 2012 through July 2015. I was home with my three kids, and we saw a lot more of Paul those years. He was around through April of 2016, but my emotional distress began in August of 2015 when he told me he was going back to Kennedy Concrete and then the months that followed included my

mom's diagnosis of stage four cancer, Paul actually going back to Kennedy Concrete, and my mom's passing. The last four years have definitely been challenging for me emotionally between Paul's choice of employment, losing my mom, losing my brother, and other stressful interactions within my extended family. The last two years were also very draining as I juggled too much - housework, yardwork, a FT job, and homeschooling three children. I definitely do not feel like I am "back to normal," but I am doing much better than I was last summer or this spring. The main way I don't yet feel "myself" is in terms of my energy level. One positive change is that I definitely am more laid back. Things that would have upset me before are less likely to bother me now. During the 2016-17 school year I definitely felt overwhelmed as I adjusted to being a single parent much of the time. It seems ridiculous that I felt that way considering the past two years I added a FT job to my load. Now that I'm back to being a SAHM, I don't think I'll be overwhelmed. Paul's work

schedule varies, but his typical schedule is that he leaves the house before any of us get up and gets home between 7-8pm M-F and 6pm on Saturdays. He often is home on Sundays, but sometimes he also works on Sunday. Today (Sunday) he got home from work around 3:30pm. I'm hopeful that as the months go by I will eventually get fully back to normal (presuming there isn't another major tragedy to process emotionally in the near future). I'm very grateful that life is slowing down to a much more manageable pace. I'm looking forward to playing more games with my kids, putting more time and effort into cooking and cleaning, doing a lot less multitasking, etc.

Going on dates has been something we've done very little of since we became parents a little over 11 years ago. We went on only one date in 2018. We haven't been on any yet in 2019. We were planning to go out to dinner this evening, but we were both too tired to want to drive to Texas Roadhouse. At some point hopefully we will get back in the habit of going on dates. In particular I'm hoping at some point we get back to ballroom dancing, which is how we first met 22.5 years ago. Life is certainly unpredictable. I would never have imagined we'd live in this house for 11 years, as we thought we'd only live here until Paul graduated from PSU. I never thought my brother would pass away one month after he turned 35 or that Paul would leave the field of chemistry three years after he completed his PhD. We've made many special memories over the past 18 years such as on our vacations. If the Lord should tarry, I pray the five of us make many more precious memories in the years to come.