Choices

As you compare life in other time periods with our own, in many areas of life we have far more options to choose between than people did in the past. We will read a story that describes how a girl had two dresses - one for every day and another for dress-up occasions (such as attending church). Even though we have a pretty frugal clothing budget (over the past four years we've spent a little over $2,200 on clothes and shoes for five people which translates to about $110 per person per year), we all have quite a few choices when we get dressed each day as to what we will wear. When I was a child, if you wanted to watch something, you were limited to what was being aired on television at that particular moment. If you wanted to watch the movie aired by the Wonderful World of Disney, then you had to turn the television on during the one time of the week it was aired. When I was in middle school our family got a VCR. Now we had control over what time we watched something (and could skip the commercials) provided we took the effort to record it on to a VHS tape. In 2019 people are accustomed to being able to watch what they want to watch whenever they want to watch it thanks to various streaming services or "On Demand" options via cable. The thought of only watching a show once a week at a certain time of day is not something my kids can relate to at all, although Paul definitely pays attention to what day/time his football game will hopefully be aired. If you listen to a radio station, you don't have control over exactly what song is played, but again if you use a streaming music service, you can determine exactly which artist and/or which song is played at any given time. 

One concern I have with the proliferation of choices is that it seems easy to start expecting everything to be on our terms - exactly what we like best and precisely when we want it. If you are living alone, this is less problematic, but when you are with friends or family, some compromise is usually necessary. When the kids were younger, it wasn't that hard to get them to agree on which Veggie Tales DVD to watch. As they have gotten older, it has become increasingly difficult. Sometimes I think that they should take turns picking, and if they don't like what their sibling has chosen, they can just do something else. If I let them, I think they might easily each pick something different - one person use the TV and the other two use our two iPads to stream whatever they picked from Amazon Prime, Hulu, or Right Now Media. We've had Hulu for almost one year because last year their Black Friday special was to receive their streaming service for 99 cents a month for 12 months. I haven't let them watch three things at once, but lately they have been watching two things at once. Two kids agree to watch something on TV (ex. Oliver and Nadia have been watching Full House lately) and another watches something on an iPad (Ian's favorite lately has been Sonic Boom). When the cousins were here, there were seven kids trying to pick something to watch together on the tv. The first day it took them (without exaggeration) a full HOUR to come to a decision. Oh. My. Word. It was a bit more complicated because my kids are allowed to watch some things that their parents do not let them watch. So part of the dilemma was trying to figure out which of the DVDs we owned was permissible, but they also had very different opinions of what to choose. Thankfully it didn't take as long to choose the other days. Whew. As far as my three kids go, I understand that girls might want to watch something different than boys and that Nadia (age 11) might be interested in something different from Oliver (age 7), but still I want them to also learn to compromise and defer to the wishes of someone else rather than always getting exactly what they would prefer. I know Paul and I don't have identical tastes when it comes to movies. When we were dating we found out what we had in common (ex. we both loved the tv show Monk). In some cases, I watched things I never would have watched on my own (Star Wars, Star Trek, etc.), and Paul also watched some romantic comedies that he probably wouldn't have watched on his own. And sometimes one of us discovered that we liked a show or movie that we wouldn't have typically picked. So I wrestle with whether to continue to allow them to watch different things. There are SOME movies that the four of us watch together. We didn't see the new Lion King in the theater this summer so we are in line to check it out from the library, and I'm sure the kids and I will watch that together.

Another area that I have been contemplating regarding choices is what we eat at dinner. Each member of our family has plenty of choices for breakfast and lunch. Usually we each have something different, and there are a variety of options. For example, even if someone picks something as simple as PBJ for lunch, they can choose Italian or honey wheat bread, creamy or crunchy PB, and several choices of jelly. As far as dinner goes, I'd prefer it if most of the time we all ate the same thing. I don't want to turn into a short order cook preparing several different things for dinner. Sometimes I omit an "offensive" ingredient from a portion of the dish. For example, I really like tomatoes and salsa, but if a recipe calls for one of those ingredients I only mix it in with a small portion of the dish because I'm the only one in the family who likes tomatoes. A few days ago I made gnocchi for the first time. It was one of those moments when I said this is what we're all having tonight. Since Paul usually eats alone (after 9pm), it doesn't bother me if he opts to make himself something else if he doesn't like what I prepared for dinner. For example, one day last week I made ravioli. I made beef ravioli for Ian and cheese ravioli for Nadia, Oliver, and I. Paul doesn't like either kind of ravioli so he made an omelet and toast that night. I've been serving a wider variety of foods in part to try to expand their taste buds. If there is something in the refrigerator (leftovers) that they like or tolerate, Nadia and Ian would prefer to eat that than try something new, especially if it's a soup or stew. Obviously dinner goes more smoothly when the kids have choices as to what they eat for dinner, but if Oliver and I are the only ones eating many of the things I make, it's frustrating. It used to be really hard to get Nadia and Ian to eat peas. It's still definitely not their favorite vegetable, but now they eat them pretty easily. Repeated exposure to a food can be a positive thing, although as a child I never did learn to like Brussel sprouts. Nadia wants to go on a mission trip to Guatemala, but I think before she can go she needs to learn to eat rice and beans, which are two foods she currently avoids if at all possible. 

This week I was working on the menu plan for the next few weeks. Some new recipes that I tried over the past two months I doubt I'll ever make again, but I will try another recipe. Some foods I won't even try again such as gnocchi and tortellini. The kids really liked the nachos and pork chops. If at least three of us like a particular food it seems worth making every now and then. The problem is when it's only one or two of us eating it. Yesterday I made a chicken enchilada soup. Nadia, Paul, and Ian wouldn't even try it. It had chicken, black beans, and corn in it. Paul eats corn only if it's served separately, but he doesn't like corn to be in anything. The other two don't like black beans. Oliver usually loves soup, but he wasn't crazy about that soup last night. That means I'll probably have to eat the rest of the soup in that crock pot all by myself. I like it,but I don't really want to eat it for days on end. I'll try a different recipe for chicken enchilada soup next time (there are SO many out there) and make sure to pick one that doesn't include corn so that hopefully at least Paul, Oliver, and I will be eating it. Paul requested I make chicken Caesar wraps. I've never made them before. That is what I'm serving tonight so the choices will be either a wrap or the soup I made yesterday. I'm assuming all three kids will pick the wrap. Hopefully they will like it.

Today I'm thankful....

1. That my friend, Joyce, and her daughter are planning to meet us for the Christmas production at a church in Camp Hill. We've been friends for 23 years, and we've let 4 years pass since we've gotten together (too many!). We had a nice long chat on the phone yesterday, which I also greatly appreciated. I bought seven tickets last night - five for our family and two for Joyce and Kristin!

2. This has been a very relaxing week in terms of mostly staying at home sweet home. The kids didn't have chorus or art today because they are having parent teacher conferences at the Christian school today and tomorrow. Including tomorrow over the course of four days I won't have driven farther than 5 minutes from our house. Woohoo! Am I turning into a hermit? Well for one thing it's good not to use as much gasoline for the van. Paul drives 600-700 miles a week commuting to and from work, but I am trying to use the van a bit less if possible as we are over budget for the year in the gasoline category.

3. We've been getting one large pizza on Mondays. The first two weeks we tried to eat dinner at home before taking Ian to his chorale rehearsal. Getting everyone to finish dinner by 4:30pm was very difficult. Ian was a little late to the first rehearsal and barely on time for the second. Picking up one large pizza after dropping Ian off at chorale rehearsal has worked out MUCH better even though it has meant we eat dinner in the van. Even though Paul had dinner with his parents this week on Monday night, we saved him two slices, which he ate on Tuesday. Pizza is a food we ALL love. The only problem is that as the kids grow older it seems like one large isn't going to be quite enough for five of us to share. Chorale rehearsals are almost done. We're going to miss our weekly pizza from Venarri's! Yum!!!

4. Paul's mom was able to have her IVIG treatment today (minus the chemo). She spent most of her 75th birthday at the hospital. It's her home away from home, ha ha. We love her so much!!

5. Today was the first morning the kids all slept until at least 7:00am since the time changed. The past four days at least one of the boys was up at 6:30 each day. They are adjusting to the time change.