Firsts and Lasts

In general it's much easier to keep track of "firsts" - the first time a child takes a step, sleeps through the night, eats solid food, drives a car, goes to school, rides a rollercoaster, loses a tooth, etc. Although we count down to some lasts, such as the last day of school, in many cases at the moment something is happening for the last time, we don't always know it is the last time. I remember being hit with that once I realized that Nadia had decided she preferred bottles to nursing. I had no idea when I nursed her that particular time it would be my last time nursing her as I had planned to nurse her for several more months. When we were on vacation with my parents in Williamsburg in 2015, I didn't know that would be my mom's last vacation. When I had dinner with my brother at Longhorn Steakhouse in Philadelphia on Black Friday in November 2018, I didn't know I'd never see my brother again here on earth. In June 2019 while we were in Myrtle Beach with Paul's parents, we didn't know that was Paul's mom's last vacation, or when we spent time with her on November 7, 2020,  that it would be the last time we'd see her here on earth. But there are some times when we know in advance that we are experiencing a "last time." I knew when I said goodbye to my mom on July 10, 2016 that I'd never see here again. Saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Ever since I knew that Aunt Janet was moving to Nevada, I've had bittersweet feelings regarding our trip to Long Island this summer. Considering that she has had health struggles the past two months (shingles and mono) plus the fact that a hurricane was forecasted to hit the island the same day we planned to arrive, we were grateful that we actually made it out here this summer. In 2017, 2018, and 2019 we came out here the week of July 4. Last year we came the first week of August. This summer the trip was postponed for a variety of reasons including our dog sitter's schedule. I have visited Long Island many times over the past almost 50 years - sometimes to visit my Grandma Lillian and other times to visit my Aunt Janet. The time with her became even more special following the passing of my mom. She only became a Grandma last month, so the last few years she considered my kids to be the closest thing she had to grandchildren. Knowing this is a last for us and having no idea when we will be able to spend time with Aunt Janet again in the future has been a bit hard to swallow emotionally. My brother, mother-in-law, and mom have gone to Heaven, Wendy lives in Chicago, and Yvonne is moving to Quito in less than 2 weeks. Knowing Aunt Janet is moving to the opposite side of the US means we won't be able to just get in the car and drive to see her any more. Ian cried his heart out the very first time we left her home in 2017. I've never cried when leaving her home before, but I'm pretty sure I'll be crying tomorrow morning as I've been fighting the tears at various points each day the last few days.

In the past we've spent a week at her place. Due to Henri, we only had three full days with her this time. Thursday morning we had breakfast, walked over and swam in the outdoor pool, had lunch, and the spent the afternoon and evening at her beach. She grilled hot dogs at the cabana for dinner. The boys took a jacuzzi bath together once we got back to her place. Friday morning we had breakfast and packed lunches before I drove the kids and I to the ferry to Fire Island, which is a National Park. We walked through the Sunken Forest and enjoyed the beach for a few hours. The kids appreciated the waves (which she doesn't have at her beach) and the softer sand (not as many rocks). We had dinner at her place, swam in the indoor pool, and then started watching Cruella on Disney+ (definitely not my favorite Disney movie). The past few days it was HOT out (in the 90's). It rained last night, and the temps were much cooler today (highs in the 70s). We followed our typical schedule of swimming in the morning and going to the beach in the afternoon, but we didn't stay at the beach as long as usual because it was cooler out and because she wanted to treat me to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. That had been a tradition each year, and we didn't do that last year because of COVID. She knows I can go years without entering a Mexican restaurant. She's very generous and thoughtful. She reminds me of my mom in that she always stocks up on our favorite foods before we come, and she sends us home with a lot of food at the end of the trip. We played Skip Bo, Exploding Kittens, Suspend, Quiddler, and Bananagrams with her over the past few days. I'm grateful my children have gotten the chance to get to know her and she has gotten to know them. We hope our paths will cross at least one more time here on earth as we hope to visit her one time in Reno at some point in the future. I'm thankful she will be able to live near two of her children and her one and only grandson, but we will definitely miss her. 

I've started working on a video about our 5 trips to Long Island. I planned to record some interviews, but I found I couldn't bring myself to record them without getting too emotional. Hopefully I can still make a nice video even though it won't have any talking in it. I should be able to finish the video in the next few days. Paul picked Milo up from the dog sitters this afternoon, and we were very relieved to hear that he did much better than when he stayed with them a month ago. Whew. I'm sure he'll still be very, very excited when the kids and I come home tomorrow!! He'll be turning 11 months old on Monday. Yesterday we were praying for Margie's mastectomy, and thankfully it seems to have gone well. She was discharged from the hospital today. We're still praying for her recovery.