Jenna and Toby's Wedding

 

My preparations for Jenna and Toby's wedding began months ago. I purchased two (physical) wedding photography books and four wedding photography e-books, borrowed many wedding photography books through Kindle Unlimited, purchased gifts for the couple, purchased additional memory cards, a dual camera harness, and camera batteries, and created lists of shots that I planned to take at the wedding. Nadia and I had appointments for manicures and haircuts on February 3. The stylist was running behind so Nadia was the only one who got a manicure. It had been 12 months since Nadia had a haircut, and it had been 7 months since I had a haircut. I got myself a new dress for the wedding a few months ago. Last month I bought Ian and Oliver dress shirts for the wedding at a thrift store. Nadia wore the dress I got her for the Ray of Lights Awards event she and Ian attended with the cast of Seussical in 2024. On the way down to the church on Friday, we stopped at the thrift store and Boscov's. Paul got himself dress pants and a dress shirt at the thrift store as that morning he had discovered the ones he owned don't currently fit him. The kids got some clothes at the thrift store and also used the Boscov's gift cards that Paul's Aunt Debbie had given them for Christmas. Nadia and Ian got clothes at Boscov's, and Oliver used the last $10 on his gift card for a watch. Both Ian and Oliver are now wearing men's size small! Oliver loves the fact that he is now a smidge taller than me, and I think Ian might be taller than Paul. We brought a variety of things down with us including a ladder (for me to use for some photographs), clothes to donate to Yvonne's family (that the boys have outgrown), cameras, lenses, etc. 

Six of Jenna's cousins, three of her uncles, and two of her aunts

I started taking pictures on Friday afternoon of the dress (on a hangar), her earrings and necklace, her boots, their wedding rings, etc. I also tried to scope out where I would take photos outside the next day. I took a few pictures of their rehearsal. Paul ironed tablecloths for the reception for hours on Friday. Many people were working hard with decorating, cooking in the kitchen, etc. Since they met at a Chick-Fil-A where they were employed in the fall of 2020, food from Chick-Fil-A is what was served at the rehearsal dinner. 5 years plus 3 months passed from their first date to their wedding. Paul and I dated for 4.5 years before we were married. I have some of my niece's and nephew's birthdates memorized, but in most cases, I just remember what month they were born and use calendar reminders so I can send cards and such. Several of Jenna's siblings have birthdays that fall on holidays, so I easily remember those (Julianna's is on Valentine's Day, Wesley and Joshua's birthdays are on St. Patrick's Day, etc.). I am quite certain I won't memorize all the anniversary dates for my nieces and nephews, but I do think I'll remember Jenna's because February 7, 2026 was the 29th anniversary of the date Paul and I met at a ballroom dancing class at the Boscov's in Pottsville, and it's also Oliver's half birthday. 

Normally a macro lens would be used for this shot, but I don't own one. I still like the picture.

Ian spent the night on Friday night at an Airbnb that Toby had rented for one night. Toby's groomsmen plus Joshua, Nathan, Joel, and Ian spent the night together. They played games for many hours and slept a tiny bit. We had four rooms at a Holiday Inn that night. Aunt Janet had a room to herself. My dad had the room to himself on Saturday night, but Oliver joined him on Friday night. Drayton, Adam, Grace, and Rachel shared a room on Saturday night, but on Friday night their room was used by Grace, Rachel, and Nadia as Drayton and Adam joined Paul and I in the room we got for one night. I got barely any sleep. I ate breakfast as soon as the buffet opened (about 6:55 am) and then I drove to the church so that I could take pictures of the bride and bridesmaids getting ready. They showed up 30 minutes later than planned, and some of the groom's family weren't there in time for us to get some of the photos that we had planned to take before the ceremony, but we did get some photos done before the wedding. Jenna wanted a winter wedding because she wanted snow in her wedding pictures. The snow that fell two weeks before her wedding was still on the ground because it has been so cold lately. That was an answer to prayer, but it turned out that the temperatures that day tied a record low from 1948. It also was VERY windy (up to 50 mph). With the wind chill, it was as low as -20 degrees!! I went outside to take photos four different times. The first time it was -12 out, and I didn't have a coat on because I was wearing my dual camera harness. The fourth time I went out with a coat and just one camera around my neck (much better). The lighting was much better the fourth time we went out. The sun was too bright the first three times. I own a reflector and planned to use it, but no one was outside helping me with the photographs. If I am ever asked to be a wedding photographer again, I am going to make sure someone is helping me with things like a reflector. At one point it was also TOO windy. Toby's hair was standing straight up from the wind. I hadn't planned on taking pictures in front of the brick wall at the church, but we moved there as it wasn't as windy. I'm very grateful they were willing to brave the elements as most of my favorite shots from the day were taken outside. I wish we had taken a couple with the entire bridal party outdoors, but understandably some of them wanted to stay inside. 

The wind blowing the veil was a blessing in this shot

Almost everything went smoothly on their wedding day. Nathan (age 17) really struggled to play an arrangement of Holy, Holy during the wedding. It seems he was very nervous. The guests started leaving the reception long before Jenna *thought* the reception would end, so the plan to give the guests sparklers to use when they left was ditched. I took over 600 photos. Nadia also took a few as she stood behind Jenna when she walked down the aisle with her dad. Did I nail every shot? Absolutely not. Did I get a lot of good pictures? Definitely. I uploaded 333 photos this morning for the bride and groom and some guests to enjoy. Some of the pictures I deleted were from when I took multiple pictures of the same group of people due to the fact sometimes people are blinking, not looking at the camera, not smiling, etc. In other instances I deleted the photo because I hadn't done a good job in taking it (ex. the ones of the first kiss in the wedding ceremony). Thankfully I got some other good pictures of them kissing. 

I finished the photos this morning. I got up at 4:30am, which is definitely earlier than normal, because I wanted to get tickets for us to tour Big Ben in May, and the tickets for May were released this morning at 10:00 London time, which was 5:00am our time. Although I was clicking on the site as soon as the clock turned to 5:00 am, I was too late to get 5 tickets for any of the time slots on May 16, which was my first choice because the Parliament tours are only available on Saturdays. I then started searching through the time slots for May 15, but most were sold out and the others only had 1-3 tickets available per time slot. I then looked to see what was available for May 18. The first time slot that day would have been ideal, but it was already sold out. The earliest time slot that still had 5 tickets available was the 12:45 tour. I bought them before they also sold out. I had read that typically the entire month's tickets sell out within 10 minutes. I'm guessing they sold out within 5 minutes or less today. My mom always referred to our grandfather clock as "Big Ben." Paul and I didn't visit Parliament or Big Ben when we were in London in 2002. So I'm grateful that I was able to get five tickets even though it might mean that we won't be able to tour the chapel at King's College in Cambridge that afternoon as planned. I decided this morning that touring Big Ben was more important to me if I had to choose, and when I told Paul what happened later, he shared my opinion. I knew that I would be unable to get back to sleep even though I had only slept 6 hours, and I prefer to get 8-9 hours of sleep. So I continued to work on editing photos, deleting photos, and uploading photos to a Google photo album so that Jenna, Toby, and other friends and family could access them. 

I thought Jenna's boots were so cute! I took several pictures of them, ha ha!

I have zero desire to be a professional wedding photographer, but I am definitely willing to help out another niece or nephew in the future if any of them should ask me. I am quite certain I wouldn't be willing to do so for Brendan given I'm 52 years older than him and would likely be in my 70's if he got married in his 20's, but for those closer in age to Jenna, I would be happy to do this again. Her brother Joshua will probably be the next one to get engaged, and Andrew (who is graduating from college in May) also has a girlfriend. We shall see. In case I am ever asked again, I want to record a list of lessons learned that I can look back at should the need arise. I don't have any control over the time of year they will choose to get married, but I'm hoping any future weddings that I photograph will take place on a warmer day when we can take more photos outside (especially of all the wedding party). Borrowing Wendy's camera body and zoom lens were definitely helpful. In the past I've exclusively used prime lenses, but her zoom lens definitely came in handy on Saturday. The dual camera harness was also very helpful, especially during the ceremony. I had asked several friends to pray that I would get some good photos that Jenna and Toby could treasure for years to come. I think the Lord answered those prayers.

1. I need at least one "assistant" with me during the photo shoots - to hold a reflector, to help fetch the people needed for the next shot, and to help me with posing the people and giving them instructions. I had a list of instructions in my head prior to the wedding (ex. girls should hold the bouquet with one arm in the shape an L at their waist). Sometimes I remembered to give some instructions (ex. men put your hands in your pocket, Jenna lower the bouquet to your waist, etc.) but many times I had too many things on my mind (figuring out what lens to use, what settings my camera should be at, etc.) and we were very pressed for time and needed to move as quickly as possible as the reception was to start at 1:00. When I was editing the photos, I noticed things like Jenna's bouquet was often held too high (covering up the bodice of her dress). The pictures taken outside when I didn't have a coat on were rushed for another reason - we were all very cold! Two heads are better than one. 

2. The ladder was helpful. I would bring that again, but next time I will make sure the ladder is with me when I'm taking photos of large groups of people.

3. Next time I want to bring a pillow that I can use for my knees when I am kneeling to take photos. My knees were in pain for a couple of days afterward. 

4. I brought a black backdrop and clamps. I would have greatly preferred to use that for all the myriads of group photos that were taken in the sanctuary. A drum set and such is really not the ideal background, and it often looked like the cross was coming out of someone's head. The lighting in the foyer was MUCH better than in the sanctuary. For a whopping $30 I could buy an adjustable background stand. If I am asked to photograph another wedding, I'm planning to buy one so that will be an option (although outdoor photos would still be "plan a" for me). I could also have used that backdrop for the getting ready photos. There were NO windows in that room, and the walls were a really dark shade of teal, not exactly ideal! But I worked with what I had. Not every picture is going to be hung on a wall or in a photo album. Some are just for documenting the very special day.

5. I brought a squeaker toy to attract Brendan's attention, but it was downstairs while I was upstairs. I need to keep it with me in the future!

6. If I am taking group photos that include young children, I need to take MORE photos of each pose than I typically do. Usually, I would find at least one pose for each group that I thought worked in terms of people having open eyes, looking in the correct direction, and smiling, but that wasn't true for the photo of Jenna and Toby with Jenna's immediate family. Bummer! 

7. I was so busy taking pictures for Jenna and Toby that I forgot to get a group photo of my three kids or one of all five of us. If we're at another wedding in the future (even if I'm not the photographer), I want to make sure I get those! I did get one of Nadia/Ian, but it's nothing to write home about (taken in the sanctuary). 

8. If it seems like I'm going to be asked to be a wedding photographer more than one more time, I think I should invest in a macro lens for the detail shots unless I'm unable to borrow Wendy's zoom lens in the future. If that happens, then instead of a macro lens I should probably get a zoom lens.

9. Wear comfortable shoes! I was on my feet for many hours, and the boots I wore were not comfortable enough.