20 Weeks Old!

I have switched to celebrating her age by months not weeks, but 20 sounds like a big milestone so I thought I'd commemorate it today by reflecting on a few of the more subtle ways our lives have changed. I guess it's sort of "you know you're a mommy..." type post.

1. When saying your husband's first name sounds funny because 99% of the time you now refer to him as "Daddy"
2. Ditto goes for hearing your own first name. (I am usually referred to as Dr. Kennedy at work and Mommy at home.)
3. When you go to bed at 7:30pm in the hope that maybe that is early enough to get 8 hours of sleep total before 5:45am when it's time to get up for work.
4. When you look in the rearview mirror and feel sad that the car seat is empty even though when the baby is in it she often cries.
5. When you can't recall the last time you pushed a shopping cart with two hands. (Today I was pushing a stroller with one hand and holding two large pizzas in the other hand, LOL).
6. When songs like "Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow" run through your head at various moments in the day.
7. When it feels strange to sit in church without a baby sleeping on your shoulder.
8. When you stop toasting your bagel for breakfast and start eating it cold every morning because toasting a bagel means baby will be screaming while she waits to be nursed.
9. When you refer to yourself in the third person all the time (Mommy).
10. When you get up in the night multiple times no matter what - either to nurse a crying baby or to check on a quietly sleeping one to make sure she's okay.
11. When you check the clock a million times a day to calculate how long baby has slept (for a nap or at night) and when is the next time to try to get her down for the next nap.
12. When you try to accomplish as much as is humanly possible in that precious 45 minutes while she naps.
13. When a smile or laughter or sweet cooing sounds from a baby just make your day.
14. When it becomes hard to go to sleep at night even though you're really tired just because your mind is going a million miles an hour.
15. When you are no longer able to sit down and read a novel because again your mind is going a million miles an hour with all you need to accomplish. (I haven't read a book in 3 months which is sooo rare for me, and I tried to read at Walmart while waiting for my oil change and just found I couldn't do it). I guess it's "Mommy brain" syndrome, LOL!
16. When you are constantly celebrating "firsts" like the first time pushing your daughter in a stroller and are also constantly looking forward to other firsts like the first time she'll taste a certain food.
17. When you take on average about 30 pictures a day (thank goodness for digital cameras!).
18. When you switch to referring to your parents as "Grandma" and "Grandpa" instead of "Mom" and "Dad" and your sisters as "Aunt" etc.
19. When you find yourself making up little songs all the time.
20. When the book you find yourself reading every day features an elephant named "Trumpety Humpety."

Mommy loves you, Nadia! I am sooooooooo grateful to have been a Mommy these past 20 weeks, and I look forward to many more weeks, months, and years as her Mommy in the future!

Eight hours!

Last night I put Nadia down at 6:45 pm and she slept until 2:45am - 8 hours straight without a peep! Paul went and checked on her sometime in the middle of that just to make sure she was still breathing. I was up a lot because my body wasn't used to go that long lately w/o nursing so I was in pain. So even though she slept Mommy & Daddy still didn't sleep, LOL. No really I am not complaining as I got far more sleep than usual, and I know my body will adjust and slow down the milk production at night once this becomes a pattern. I nursed her until 3:20, and she went down easily. Then she woke up only a little more than an hour later. I resisted the urge to go rescue her (which was a challenge for me!) and thankfully she didn't cry too long (maybe 10 minutes?) before she fell back asleep. Then she slept until 6:30am!! So she slept almost 11 hours total. Way to go, Nadia!!! The first part wasn't due to me doing anything differently (the first 8 hour stretch) but the next 3 hours were in part since I changed my ways and didn't go nurse her when she woke up only 1 hour after I had just finished feeding her. I am very, very, very glad we've had two good nights in a row! Yesterday she also had one really good nap (1 hour and 45 minutes long) which was awesome as mostly her naps are all 45 minutes long and sometimes as short as 30 minutes.

Her cooing is getting louder and some consonants are being added into the mix. The one I hear the most is "g." Sometimes she really talks up a storm for quite a few minutes! I'm posting another video on youtube of her "talking" with Mommy. Last night I had her laughing for a REALLY long time. It was the longest and loudest she ever laughed (several minutes off & on of laughing). ho

When Nadia wakes up I need to practice my flute as I'm playing with the handbells tonight, and I discovered one of the songs is too difficult to sightread. We'll see what she thinks of the flute. She definitely likes the piano. I play the piano FAR more these days as it's always a way to calm her down and keep her happy if she's in a fussy mood. She'll sit on my lap for a very long time while I play the piano. This is going to be a busy week as I need to review 20 grant applications by noon on Friday, and I have interviews on Friday afternoon (Grandma will come babysit while I go to those).

I haven't weighed myself lately, but I think I'm still losing weight. I noticed my size 12 jean skirt was getting rather loose, so I tried on my size 10 one and it fits. Yahoo for progress! I still have more weight to lose though that is for sure. There are plenty of clothes that still don't fit yet. Speaking of sizes, Nadia's shoes are size one. They stayed on her feet on the way to church and at church and fell off in her car seat on the way home. I agree, Jo, that I never have her wear shoes with her socks, but to me she looked funny with tights on and no shoes. I love those little black patent shoes!!! :-)

She SLEPT!

Last night was soooooo much better. What a difference from Friday night which was such an awful night. Last night she went down at 7:30pm and woke up at 8:30, but I didn't go get her and she fell back asleep after crying about 10 minutes. Then she slept until 2:15am WOOHOO! I nursed her for 30 minutes and then she slept until 5:15am. I nursed her for 30 minutes, and then after she cried for 20 minutes I went and got her, and she nursed and then played in our bed for 40 minutes. Then I put her back down at 6:45 and she slept another hour! So she slept 10 hours altogether which used to be her norm. On a normal work day I would have considered that a "one feeding" night as I usually get up around 5:45am anyhow.

To respond to the comments, I do keep the lights off in her room when I nurse her during the night. The first couple of months I did change her diaper a lot at night, but she pooped all the time back then. The last couple of months I either don't change it at all during the night, or I change it only once. I don't give her any eye contact either. I try to just nurse her and get her back to sleep within 30 minutes. Only on rare occasions the last month or so have I allowed her to nurse more than 30 minutes (about 40 minutes max). Sometimes she only needs 20 minutes. I usually put her down after 30 minutes ; most of the time she goes down without crying, but sometimes this means she cries for 3-5 minutes before she goes back to sleep. Usually I have been letting her cry if she wakes up less than 2 hours later, but Friday night I didn't go by that "rule" which was my mistake as it led to very, very little sleep for me that night. I need to stick with the plan of not nursing her so many times in a night, and hopefully in time she won't wake up so many times. What a difference a good night of sleep makes! I felt so "on the edge" emotionally yesterday.

Today she's wearing a new dress. Before I knew Grandma was buying her some new clothes, I had started bidding on some dresses on eBay as she only had one dress size 3-6 months. Her 3 new dresses arrived in the mail last week - two size 3-6 months and one size 6-9 months. The dress she's wearing today is the 6-9 month sized one. It fits! My little girl is growing up TOO fast!! Four months ago she was wearing preemie size and even newborn size was too big!!! Now 3-6 month pants are still too big, but 3-6 month dresses and sleepers are getting snug already. So she's wearing some 0-3, some 3-6 and some 6-9 month clothing. She won't be wearing 0-3 month pants for long though as they are getting rather tight around her waist. The one thing that never fits her in any size are the sleeves. She has short arms! I thought she looked SO cute this morning. It was her first time wearing shoes, and they were oh so very cute black patent shoes. They made her look so grown up though which I wasn't sure I liked! I love dressing up my doll baby! ;-)

Tired

I am really tired; I need Nadia to sleep more at night. I guess I have to let her cry more and not nurse her every time she wakes up??? With the exception of today (she's only taken two 30 minute naps today), she's napping well during the day (albeit 99% of her naps are 45 minutes long), and the first stretch is usually 4-5 hours long, but since I don't usually go to bed right at the same time she does, my longest stretch is usually only 3-4 hours. Last night she went to bed at 7:45, and I went to bed at 9:00 for example. She woke up at 12:30, 2:30, 3:15 (I changed her diaper and nursed her for only 15 minutes since she had only been down for 15 minutes), 4:45, and I let her get up for the day at 6:00. She wanted to get up earlier than that so she had cried off/on from 5:15-6:00. Her night sleeping just keeps getting worse. We went from 1 feeding a night to 2 to now 3 or more. I have been trying to nap during some of her naps, but that's also my only chance to get some other stuff done. I expected to be sleep deprived the first few weeks. I did not expect that I would go more than 4 months with only a few good nights of sleep.

This was one of the reasons I wanted to start her on solid foods; people had told me that their babies started sleeping through the night when they started giving them rice cereal. I haven't given Nadia any rice cereal for a few days now. I have given her a taste of banana now and then, and she definitely likes bananas. So maybe whenever I try the rice cereal again she'll have an easier time with her tongue as hopefully she's starting to learn how to use her tongue to eat solid foods. This morning she rolled over from her tummy to her back, so I've now seen her roll unassisted in both directions. Good job, Nadia! My mom was interested in seeing the rattle shaking video. She's not smiling or cooing so I don't think it's nearly as nice as the other ones, but it does show her new ability to hold a rattle.

 

Rolled Over!

Well Nadia "accidently" rolled over when she was just a couple of weeks old. I didn't count that as her first time rolling over. She's come oh so close many, many times over the last few months. In my mind today was her first day of rolling over. I was thinking usually they roll from their tummies to their backs first? Well Nadia rolled over from her back to her tummy three times today. Unfortunately they were not happy moments. Twice this happened in her crib when she was having trouble going to sleep for naps (although I am happy to say right now she is taking her 4th nap in her crib today - every nap has been 45 minutes long thus far). Another time I was making a cake for our dinner guests. I tried putting her in various places so I could have 5 minutes to cook (ex. the bouncer, her high chair, etc.) and nothing pleased her. So I put her in the gym and let her cry as I couldn't hold her while putting a cake in the oven. Well when I came back to get her, I found her on her belly on the hardwood floor. I felt badly as I had left her on her back on a quilt on the floor (under the gym that used to be in my office). We shall see when she'll make it all the way over from tummy to back. She gets really close but hasn't gone all the way - at least I've not witnessed it. Another milestone for Nadia would be that she is enjoying rattles now. She'll hold on and wave the little toys all around. I took a little video of it, but it's probably rather boring to anyone but me so I didn't post it.

The weather the past 10 days or so has been GORGEOUS. Cracks me up that right before that in some places around here (although not right at our house) there was snow! It seems we've gone from one extreme to the other. Today it was about 70 degrees - in NOVEMBER! Wow! I love it!!! I wish I had thought of this earlier in the week, but today Nadia and I had fun outdoors. We sat on the glider on the back porch, I helped her go down the slide a few times on her swing set, and then I put her in her stroller and took her on a glorious walk around the neighborhood. I was wearing a t-shirt and very comfortable. Unbelievable!!! I wish this was the norm, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts. :-) I've noticed Nadia likes going outside. Sometimes at our old house I'd take her out to get the mail (which was a long trek) to calm her when she was upset. She seemed to enjoy our walk and her time outside today. I even sat her in the grass and had her touch the grass with her hands and she didn't seem to mind at all, whereas I know some babies don't like the feel of grass. I think she & I will be spending a lot of time outside together next spring and summer. I can get my exercise by taking her on walks which is more fun than doing aerobics inside the house (not that I've gotten going with that yet). Of course we'll have to buy a wading pool for her for our deck! What fun we will have!!!

This afternoon there was a faculty mtg at school. I skipped it. I was so frustrated last time to invest 3 hours of my time for a 30 minute meeting. Also, I need to go the next two Fridays for interviews. I am the chair of the search & screen committee, and we're interviewing 10 candidates over the next 2 weeks. So I figured I'd take this Friday afternoon off.

Dress up!

Right now I have fun dressing Nadia up, but I think some day she'll have fun getting dressed up herself. I decided to check out the Halloween clearance section at Walmart. The sleeper I got Nadia was now marked down, but they only had those footed sleepers up to size 9 months, and really she has plenty of sleepers up to that size (although I don't think she has anything bigger than that yet). They were so cute I thought they really could be worn any time of year not just Halloween. I looked at the other costumes, but I have no idea what Nadia will want to be next year. Then it hit me that I could use this as a chance to get started on her collection of dress up clothes. So I bought one long blonde wig that is for children and a Snow White dress (size 3T/4T). I know Snow White doesn't have blonde hair, LOL. They had the dress as small as size 18 months, but I decided to get it a bit bigger so it will last longer especially since the skirt part wasn't really that long to begin with (knee length not floor length). Most girls like to dress up like a princess so I hope she enjoys this costume some day! ;-) I also bought her her first pair of back patent shoes. Those are for dressing her up now. I thought it looked funny on Sunday with tights and no shoes. We shall see if the shoes stay on or not, LOL!

Reading to Nadia has been a lot more fun the last few weeks. Earlier she wasn't looking at the book when we were reading to her. Now she studies the pages intently. Paul thinks her two favorite books right now are Mr. Brown Can MOO! Can You? by Dr. Seuss and an elephant book about "Trumpety Humpety." I've been playing different CD's with her and she seems to really like "Sweetly Sings the Donkey" especially when Mommy does the "Hee Haw" part, LOL. I now have the funniest songs going through my head at various points in the day such as "Oats, peas, beans, and barley grow" - a song I don't ever remember even hearing before, ha ha! Well speaking of my girl - time to go read, sing, and play with her!

Daddy Time

Well a definite perk of the fact I am still working part-time (aside from the paycheck and health insurance, LOL) would be that Nadia gets more time with her Daddy. There are just twelve more days when I'll be teaching at 8am this semester as including this week there are 5 weeks left, but one of those is a short week due to Thanksgiving. I am not going to miss making sure I'm in the car by 6:40am, but I am sad that Nadia won't get that time with Daddy MWF morning. I'm gone for 3 hours those mornings, and he plays with her for usually about 2 hours of that time. He reads books to her, plays with her in her gym (tummy time and such), plays the piano with her (and he doesn't know how to really play himself, LOL), and of course has math time with her every day. She focuses on him so intently while he teaches her how to count. I had to get a picture of that so I won't forget how Daddy was working on her math skills when she was even only 3-4 months old. Paul loves Nadia soo much. She is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful father!!! She'll still get time with Daddy in the spring, but I'll only be teaching two days a week instead of four (which will help cut down our gas bill).

Last night was better as Nadia slept 6 hours the first stretch and then 2 hours each the next two so at least we were down to two feedings, and since each was only about 20-25 minutes long that also helped. She slept ten hours total which was good (7:15pm -6:00am with about 45 minutes of being up for feedings/diaper changing). It was a good step in the right direction, and I hope tonight the trend continues!

Vegetables

The advice some of you gave to introduce all veggies before any fruits makes total sense. I am surprised her doctor didn't say that and also that it wasn't mentioned in the literature I was reading on introducing foods. The doctor only said to wait 5 days before introducing each new food and to only introduce fruits, veggies, and cereal in the next 2 months. She also mentioned fruit juices, but I will not be introducing those in that time frame. Eating fruit is better than drinking it. I had read to wait on corn until at least 6 months. So am I forgetting any veggies? I am planning on introducing peas, carrots, green beans, sweet potatoes, and squash in the coming weeks (one at a time of course). I am planning to make the peas, carrots, and green beans from frozen veggies and the sweet potatoes and squash from fresh veggies. I'll make them and then freeeze them in an ice cube tray and then after they're frozen put the cubes of baby food into a freezer bag. Then once she's had all of those then I'll start on apples, bananas, etc.

Thinking about veggies makes me wonder how we'll handle these once she's eating table foods. Unfortunately Paul & I are not the best role models when it comes to eating veggies. Do I make veggies for her that Paul & I don't eat? Do I make myself eat them to be a good role model even though I don't like them? Hmmmmm well we have a little time to figure that out as Mommy and Daddy don't eat baby food. :-) Paul's mom fed her some rice cereal last night, and she mixed in a little formula and that made a big difference in terms of Nadia's reaction although of course she's still learning how to use her tongue when eating solid foods. I tried to do the same this morning, but she made the same faces (grimmacing) for me that she made yesterday.

Nadia was very quiet most of the time Paul's parents were with us last night. We kept trying to get her to talk (coo), but she was silent until close to the time they left. Of course we were happy that she wasn't crying while we were at Applebee's. She was a good little girl. :-) We were celebrating Paul's mom's bday, but she was the one who came bearing gifts. I'll post pics later first of all the beautiful clothes Nadia received and also of her wearing her new red dress. I asked for sizes 3-6 and 6-9 month dresses for Nadia for Christmas. I should change that to only size 6-9 months because the 3-6 month dress was just barely long enough so she won't be in that size for long in terms of dresses. Grandma loves Nadia!!!

I am very perplexed about the sleeping situation. At 12 weeks old she was doing great at night (only one feeding a night and sleeping 10 hours total on average), but naps were a struggle and almost none were taken in the crib. Now naps are usually a breeze in her crib as long as we get her down after she's been up for 90 minutes. Right now she's taking her third nap that she's had in her crib today, and it will probably be her last as we try to keep her up for a longer period of time prior to bedtime. The first two naps were 45 minutes each, and really this is her 4th nap as she took a 45 minute nap in my arms during church (that felt so great - it's nice to have her still nap in my arms every now and then!!!!). I am not sure how long she would have slept yesterday afternoon. I woke her up after she had been asleep for 2 hours (at 3:15) as I wanted to nurse her before Paul's parents showed up, plus I didn't want her to sleep "too long" although I am not sure exactly what is "too long" as I haven't had to deal with that since naps are amost always only 45 minutes long. Anyhow the bottom line is that naps are going WELL these days but now night time sleep is regressing. Last night the longest stretch was 3 hours, but since I didn't go to bed at 7pm when she did, my longest stretch was 2 hours. :-( She did sleep 9 hours total so I'm still getting more sleep than when she was a newborn, but I know at 4 months old she should not be getting up so many times in the night. Any suggestions what to do if she doesn't start going back in the right direction on her own? I really want to get back to one feeding a night. Last night there were 3 feedings and then she was up for the day at 6:30. I was relieved though that her day didn't start until 6:30am (new time) as I was fearing it might start at 4:30am in light of the time change.

Yahoo!!!

I just had to say that Nadia is sleeping right now in her crib, and she's now been asleep for a little more than one hour. YAHOOO! She has been MUCH better lately about taking naps in her crib. My goal is to put her down 3-4 times a day for naps. Usually she cries only about 5 minutes now and the longest is about 18 minutes. I pick her up and try to help her get to sleep if she cries 20 minutes, but thankfully that is very rare nowadays. However we have still been stuck at 45 minute naps most of the time. Her first nap this morning (I put her down a little after 8am since she got up at 6:30 this morning) was only 45 minutes. So I am really happy this nap is lasting longer! Really this is such BIG progress for her to be taking naps in the crib. I know some books advocate allowing the baby to cry for up to one hour, but I haven't tried that for a couple of months, and so I am happy that she has learned how to take naps w/o experiencing such long crying spells. Now we just need to get her first stretch at night back to 6-9 hours like it was for awhile there. Mommy misses those! Eventually of course it would be nice if she'd sleep through the night, but right now I'd be happy to get back to just ONE feeding a night as we've been back to two or more, and I'm pooped!

One Year Ago

November 1, 2007 was the day my little sweetheart was thawed (went from negative 196 degrees Celsius to room temperature), put in a few different solutions to remove the cryoprotectant, warmed to body temperature, put in a culture medium, and finally sent through a catheter into her Mommy's womb. What a miracle!!! As I've said before, it's actually more than I can really wrap my brain around. It seems a little too much like science fiction for me, but that's okay. I don't need to understand it!!! I am just thrilled that God enabled her to survive the thawing process, implant into my uterus, and grow, grow, grow! Most places list the success rate of FET as 15-20% and that's when multiple embryos are transferred. She was our only one to make it to the freezing stage so this again shows what a miracle it was to give birth 7+ months later.

A couple of weeks ago I read about a BFP announcement from someone who was on bcp (and didn't miss any pills). In general, bfps have been much less painful for me than they were before Nadia came into our lives, but I have to admit there was still a bit of an OUCH with this one in light of the fact that they were trying NOT to have another baby quite yet (they have a daughter who is about 18 months old). The thought of "accidently" getting pg is just totally foreign to me. I can't relate at all. The 3 times I have been pg (I consider the time after my fresh transfer in August 2007 to be my 2nd pgcy) have all been after many shots, ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc. It's definitely not a "how did this happen" type situation when nurses, doctors, androglogists, etc are involved, LOL! I went off the bcp in May 2002 and yet have never had an "au natural" pgcy. Of course God could work a miracle, but I don't ever expect to be pg without doctors and embryologists being involved even though we never plan to use birth control again. Anyhow it just amazes me that some people take medical steps to prevent getting pg and yet they still get pg whereas others go through all sorts of medical stuff to try to get pg and still don't.

When I am feeling frustrated about how challenging it is for us to have children I am trying to focus on two things #1 that God has blessed us with Nadia when many others in our situation do IVF and still don't ever have a baby and #2 that there are many things I am sure I take for granted in my life that others wish they had such as a blind person wishing they had my vision or a deaf person wishing they had my hearing, etc. Many people take their fertility for granted just as I take my ability to walk for granted. So when I feel that jab of pain in my heart at the reminder that having kids is not so difficult for other people, I will try to focus on all the things I am thankful for such as the ability to see my sweet little girl smile at me. :-) Of course there is a point where the analogies break down as it's not like people take medical measures to prevent their ability to see or hear or walk and still are able to do it even though they didn't think they wanted to....

Well last night we didn't get any trick or treaters! I don't know if they did it a different night and we missed it, or if they don't do it in our neighborhood? I had already opened the bags of candy to be prepared to pass it out last night so I guess Paul and I will be eating it all. I am glad I didn't buy any more than I did, and thankfully I got kinds that we like (Snickers, M&Ms w/ peanuts, and Reese's peanut butter cups). Paul was really bummed that we didn't get to show off our Peanut in her costume. That's what we were really looking forward to. Well next year we'll have to ask around to find out what the deal is around here with Halloween. We noticed we were the only ones with our porch light on last night, so we gave up and put Nadia to bed as she was a very tired little bumblebee. Last night was rough. It was the first time in a VERY long time that I passed her off to Paul during the night at one point, but this morning she seems back to her normal self so hopefully the effect of the shots is over.

This morning she had her first solid food! She wasn't sure what to make of it, LOL. Later I put a little of the rice cereal on my finger and put it in her mouth and she took it much better. She wasn't so sure about that spoon. She made such funny faces I was laughing my head off. I have a feeling she'll like fruits better. I will stick with just the cereal for a few more days but then I think I'll either try carrots, green beans, or apples. I plan to make her baby food myself so I need to get going on that! Once she has apples or something I'll probably mix a little in the rice cereal and I think she'll like it better then. She definitely has a sweet tooth as she loves her medicine (like the Tylenol we were giving her for her fever after the shots). The first photo was before she ate any food (her first time wearing the Bjorn, thanks Lucia!) and the others were during/after she ate. As you can see, she wasn't too sure about this rice cereal.

I am a little concerned about the time change tonight. Paul LOVES this day every year. It's like a holiday to him, LOL. I am concerned though as Nadia is already getting up too early! I am going to try to keep her up a bit later tonight to see if that helps her switch times. I honestly don't like this switching our body clocks twice a year. It's always an adjustment for me and now it's going t be trickier with a munchkin. I am curious how long it will be until I get to sleep in until say 7:30. Well frankly at this point 7:00 would be a dream come true. I wonder what age she'll be when Mommy gets to sleep in that "late" for the first time in a long time? This getting up before 6am every day is getting old. To compensate I do give her two morning naps every day. The first one occurs 90-120 minutes after whenever she gets up for the morning.

Next Friday is Paul's mom's bday so we're treating his parents to dinner at Applebee's tonight. I hope she's in a good mood for her Grandma and Grandpa (and all the other people eating at Applebee's tonight, LOL). :-) They wanted to come up to see her last weekend, but we were in MD. I think this is the longest Paul's mom has gone without seeing her. I know she misses her youngest granddaughter! I am so thrilled that Nadia is loved so much by so many people!!!