Merry Christmas!

What a special Christmas this was for our family since it was Nadia's first! Of course she is our favorite gift. :-) I'll write more tomorrow and also take and post the 6 month photos (2 days late). Here are some photos from the last four days. I hope each of you had a very special time with your family this week!!! Merry Christmas!!!

Isn't she so cute in the outfit she wore on Christmas Eve at Ruth's parents' house? We were there from Sunday evening to Wednesday evening.


Ruth's sister's family arrived in MD (from Chicago) on Monday night. It was great to spend time playing with Adam (22 months) and Susie (4 1/2 years old). When Susie showed me the message she created she imitated me by saying "Nadia, sweet, sweet, sweet Nadia" in the same intonation I use. :-)

We arrived back at home about 9pm on Christmas Eve and spent Christmas Day at Paul's parents' house. They gave her a walker - what fun! :-)

Once we got back home from celebrating with Paul's family, Nadia had some time to play with her new toys before going to bed. What fun!! Tummy time has already been going much better now that she sleeps on her belly, and she really enjoyed playing with her toys on her belly this evening and started to make attempts at scooting towards them. I think she's going to become more mobile very soon! Her sitting skills have also vastly improved lately. I think she'll be sitting unassisted within the next week or so.

To Grandmother's House We Go

We plan to leave for MD around 4:30 today. Hopefully Nadia will sleep most of the way. We're also going to stop at an Ollie's on the way down as I haven't been to one since before Nadia was born, and I am in withdrawal. Yes, this means more books for Nadia!!! :-) I'll probably also get some for Susie's 5th birthday even though that's not for several months. She LOVES to read!
Friday night I had planned to attend a concert at what I think will become my new church, but the roads were NOT good that day so I didn't want to venture out that night. Yesterday the roads were fine, but it's snowing again as I type. I really want to go to their service this morning as they're doing a Christmas cantata at 10:15. Of course the church could cancel the service for all I know. Paul is braver driving in the snow than I am, so maybe he'll take us if the service goes on as scheduled. Thankfully the snow is supposed to stop by 3pm so we should be okay driving to MD later today.

Friday night Nadia's first wake up was at 11:15pm which was only about 4 hours after she went down which made me nervous, but I nursed her a little and put her back down and she slept all the way until 7:10am!!! WOOHOO! I can tell that when she gets up it's not really because she's starving. A few nights ago when I gave her a bottle she only needed 2 ounces and that would never be enough during the day time. So these night time wakings are for other reasons - not that she is super hungry. I think she just wants to snuggle. So I was thinking that after we get back from MD I'd work on getting her to stay in her crib the full 12 hours. Well last night wasn't a good night. She went down at 6:45 and woke up the first time at 11:30. I thought it was early but thought it would just be a deja vu of the night before. However she woke up again at 3 something or other. I just checked to make sure I didn't smell a poopy diaper and then let her CIO. She then woke up again at 5:50, and after letting her cry 5 minutes I let her get up for the day. One thing I can say is that she is NOT predictable at night these days. One day she sleeps 11 hours straight, and the next the longest stretch is 4 hours. Go figure! Hopefully she'll sleep well in the pack-n-play at my parents as I don't want her crying to keep my parents or brother awake during the night.

Winter Wonderland!

We got about 5 inches of snow so this was our most significant snowfall so far this winter. I put Nadia's hand in it, but that's about it as far as her "playing" in the snow. It will be a lot more fun for her a year from now. I can't wait to build our first snowman together!!!

Yesterday Nadia's last nap ended at 3:30, and she wouldn't take another one around 5:00 so this meant she fell asleep in my arms at 6:10. So she went to bed earlier than I'd like her to. Then she woke up at 9:30. I let her cry and she fell asleep within less than 5 minutes. Then she woke up again around midnight, and this time I decided to feed her although it was earlier than she had been nursing lately. Since I had pumped before I went to bed, I didn't have enough milk for her (especially since lately she hadn't been nursing until 4am or later). So I ended up giving her two ounces of pumped milk in a bottle, and she fell back asleep and slept until 6am. So it was still a one feeding night although the feeding was earlier. One plus of her sleeping on her belly is that tummy time goes a lot better these days.

Yesterday and today Nadia has eaten a container (3.5 ounces) of sweet potatoes! YAY! Of course now this means her clothes are not staying quite as clean as they usually do. :-) I am going to try rice cereal again tomorrow now that she is doing so much better with eating solids although by no means has she mastered how to use her tongue for solids yet.

Getting Better

Well thanks to the encouragement from Regina and Lisa, I decided to try rice cereal again today (I didn't try it yesterday since she made such awful faces on Tuesday). It went much better! Of course a lot is still coming out of her mouth, but at least she didn't gag and didn't make those faces like I just put the most terrible stuff in her mouth. I am not saying a whole lot made it to her belly, but it definitely seemed like progress. We'll keep working on it!

Other changes with Nadia lately would be that her attention span when reading books to her is getting much longer. I can now read several books in a row - even ones that take longer. She seems to like the flap books in particular. Now when it comes to a book + music she's had a long attention span for quite awhile so I am referring now to books without music. Also she's getting better at sitting on her own. She doesn't topple over anymore, but she still is leaning forward quite a bit. I tried to get a pic yesterday of her sitting on her own looking at a book. It was so cute. I'll try again today. She does study the pictures rather intently!

As for sleeping, she went down at 7:10 and thankfully only cried 20 minutes last night. That's much longer than usual but a lot shorter than Tuesday night. It's so hard to listen to her cry, but I want her to learn how to put herself to sleep on her belly (since she keeps rolling over onto her belly now). Then she slept until 4:15am. I let her cry a few minutes, but it didn't seem like she was going back to sleep so I nursed her for about 15 minutes and she then slept until 7:05am. YAY! So altogether she got a little more than 11 hours sleep. The nice part about the one feeding being so late (4:15) was that it meant I got more hours of sleep in a row. YAHOO! I'd acutally prefer doing one feeding if it meant I could get up at 7am rather than 6am. Yesterday was an amazing day in terms of naps -she had one nap that was 80 minutes, two that were 45 minutes each, and one that was two hours! I wouldn't have given her 4 naps except she got up at 6am yesterday. It's funny because when they are younger they're supposed to get more sleep (as far as total hours sleeping per day), but she's definitely getting more hours of sleep total now than she did when she was younger. Well the naps are definitely helping me prepare for the new class. I forgot how much time it takes to write a new syllabus, course outline, PowerPoints, etc. However I am enjoying it. I think this will be a fun class to teach (graduate course).

I finally came up with a suggestion for Paul for Christmas. I asked him to get me a large mirror for the one bare wall in the dining room. He doesn't have many shopping days left as we leave for MD on Sunday so he really needs to finish shopping by Saturday as we'll get back late on Wed pm, and we usually open our gifts on Christmas morning. He's still been going to school every day although his exam was on Monday. He's started working on learning computer programming (necessary for doing computational chemistry). The three books I got him recently for that were on Fortran, Linux, and Perl. I think Fortran is the language he is learning. He said he wrote his first program yesterday. He never thought he'd be learning computer programming, but he is! I hope that before the spring semester starts he also finishes his master's thesis.

Kisses for Mommy

Well last night was the first night ever of no feedings during the night. I put her down at about 7:15pm and although she was very tired, it was about 8:00 by the time she fell asleep. She hasn't cried more than 5 minutes in a long time and in fact many times doesn't cry at all when she's put down, but she's having to learn all over again how to soothe herself now that she's sleeping on her belly. Paul wanted me to go flip her, but everytime I do she just flips right back, and I don't want going to sleep to become a struggle again. Naps have gone fine today so I think she is learning how to fall asleep even if she rolls onto her belly. Well she made not a peep from 8pm until 5:30am. I contemplated nursing her and putting her back down, but that didn't work on Tuesday so I decided to see if she'd go back to sleep and sure enough she cried about 2 minutes and went back to sleep. However when she woke up again at 6am I decided that was a big step of progress that she was in bed for almost 11 hours (and slept 10 of those). I nursed her in total darkness (for 35 minutes - she was hungry!), but she was WIDE awake so I let her get up for the day.

In the last week there hasn't been any change in terms of nursing. She's holding steady at how many ounces she takes by bottle every day (20-24). I am trying not to let it bother me. At least she isn't continuing to decrease how much she takes from me (yet anyhow). I tried her on solid foods again yesterday as she sees the Dr for her 6 month appt on Dec 30, and at the 4 month appt the Dr had said to start solids so I thought I should give it another try before her appt (she turns 6 months a week from today). She gets really excited when she sees me eating or drinking and looks at me like aren't you going to give me some? Well I tried the rice cereal again and again she made a face like I just put the most nasty stuff in her mouth and why would you do that to me Mommy? Should I just wait longer or keep trying? She likes to lick things like a cracker or a banana or a piece of bread, but of course she's not really eating when she's doing that.

If you can't already tell, I just love this girl to pieces. I keep trying to think of a suggestion for what Paul could get me (as he really would like an idea from me), and I honestly cannot think of anything. I just am so thrilled to finally have a sweet baby in my arms. I have waited so long for this. What more could I ask for? I love snuggling with her, tickling her, "talking" with her, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, and seeing those looks of love in her eyes. For months I've done a ritual of putting her (open) mouth up to Daddy's cheeks a few times a day as I say "kiss daddy." I rarely think of having her kiss Mommy although I've also had her kiss Grandma, Grandpa, etc (Uncle Maurice wasn't exactly appreciative of slobber on his cheek, LOL). Of course I kiss her hundreds of times a day. Well this morning she aimed her head in the direction of my cheek and planted a "kiss" on me. She was beaming after she "kissed" me. I just about started crying it was so sweet (and slobbery!). Even when she's napping and I'm busy working on schoolwork (I've been working on the new course this week), it just feels different than before. I know I'm not alone in the house, and I love that feeling.

I took two short videos of her laughing this morning. It's probably best not to look but just listen. The visual part is awful as my arm was bouncing around. It's a challenge to tickle a baby and film a video clip at the same time! I wanted to share the sweet sound of her laughter though. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUKQKIPvtps
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSH_2GzmY8A

Dental Decisions

Last night Nadia was well behaved at Red Lobster especially considering how late it was (for her). Paul had salmon, his dad had shrimp, and Paul's mom & I had chicken. I don't like seafood, but I agree with you, Erica, that their bicuits are very delicious! She cried some on the way home and then slept for maybe 10 minutes in the car. When she got home she had a second wind so I fed her and changed her and played a little. She didn't go to bed until 8:45pm. She hasn't been up past 8pm in a LONG time and in fact usually is in bed by 7pm. I was hoping this would mean she'd sleep in for Paul this morning while I was at the dentist as I had an appt at 7am. Well the good news was she woke up at 1am, but I decided that was too soon to nurse her so I decided to see if she'd fall asleep after crying less than 5 minutes, and she did. The next time she woke up was 5:40am. SO that means she went 9 hours between feedings! That was wonderful! The bad news was that although I tried very hard to keep her in "nighttime" mode (I usually turn the hallway light on but not her light when nursing her but last night I even left the hallway light off so I was nursing her in the dark) she decided it was time to get up. She cooed in bed for about 20 minutes and then switched to crying. After about 30 minutes of crying I rescued her. I think part of the problem is that she has trouble soothing herself when she's on her tummy and now she is on her belly more than on her back when we go to get her after a nap or during the night. Her crib sheet hasn't had many fluids on it the past 6 months (I'd say fewer than 5 times she's either spit up or peed on it), but now it gets soaked in tears. :-( Her usual soothing position the last couple of months has been to roll on her side and suck her thumb, and she can't suck her thumb while she's on her belly.

Flipping her over is pointless though as every time we do it she is back on her belly within a couple of minutes. Unless we want to stay in her room every time she's in her crib, she's going to sleep on her belly some. Paul seemed concern but I reassured him that he and I and almost every adult our age ALWAYS slept on their belly as that was what parents were told to do back then so I am sure she'll survive sleeping on her belly now that she's almost 6 months old. We still put her down on her back, but if she flips, she flips. So anyhow hopefully she'll get more sleep tonight. 10-11 hours has been her norm for about 4 months now, and she got 12 hours two nights ago so 9 hours was definitely too little. So much for keeping her up later helping her sleep in later! We were celebrating Paul's dad's birthday, but of course they came bearing gifts for Nadia. As Paul's dad said, it's their job to spoil her. :-) She received a cute lilac pant outfit that she wore today as well as a baby's first Christmas ornament.

TWELVE hours!!

Well Nadia got the most sleep last night - EVER. She went down at 7pm and surprisingly woke up at 9:30. I checked upstairs to see if she was on her belly or had a poopy diaper, but she was on her back and there wasn't any odor in the room so I let her cry a few minutes and she went back to sleep. The next time she woke up was after 1am. Yay! I nursed her and then the BIG surprise is (drum roll, please) she then slept until 7:30am! WOW!!! When I went in to get her at 7:30 she was on her belly, so maybe she will sleep better on her belly than her back? Altogether she got 12 hours of sleep! I think 11 hours total was the previous high. This meant that even though I stayed up late (10pm) to watch 1/2 of Paul's football game, I still got a good amount of sleep. May this become the new norm!!! :-) I told Paul that Nadia gave her Mommy an early Christmas present that I could stay in bed until 7:30am. Paul on the other hand stayed up the WHOLE night studying. He's driving to PSU right now to take his Quantum Mechanics exam. I'm praying for him this morning to do his very best!!! Go, Paul!

Tonight we are taking Paul's parents out to dinner at Red Lobster to celebrate his Dad's birthday which will be on Saturday. They haven't seen Nadia since Thanksgiving so I know they are looking forward to spending time with her. They miss her! :-) Paul loves Red Lobster so he'll also be glad we're going there. He always used to get a 6" lobster tail with his fish dinner, but he had to stop as lobster has given him horrible heartburn the last few years. He loves the cheesy biscuits they serve with the meals as well as the ceasar salad so it's still probably his favorite restaurant even though he doesn't eat lobster any more.

Of course she's at the stage where EVERYTHING goes into her mouth. So the photos here are from yesterday of her "eating" a weasel. What does weasel taste like? Chicken perhaps, LOL? Of course she's also been seen eating an elephant. She also loves to talk to the animals. Definitely the animal she talks to the most is the lion that hangs down from her gym. I have asked her if she's the next "Dr. Doolittle." :-) The only book she's tried to eat (so far) is her bath book which is a great relief to Paul. He is not very accepting of the idea that she's going to try to eat other books also. Ha Ha!

On Her Belly

Friday night when I rolled her back on to her back before I went to bed, she didn't wake up, and she stayed on her back. Last night Paul put her down at 7pm, and when I got home at 9:30pm I found her on her belly. This time she woke up when I rolled her over, but thankfully in less than 5 minutes she was back asleep. I pumped and then went up to go to bed and found she was already on her belly again. There didn't seem to be any point in flipping her over again if she was going to go back on her belly every few minutes I called my sister on the phone, and she said a friend of hers (whose dh is a doctor) said that if they're strong enough to roll over that the risk of SIDS is very small. So I let her sleep on her belly until she woke up about midnight. Now that had only been five hours, but since she was on her belly I decided to go nurse her. Well I shouldn't have pumped so late as she refused to nurse. So Paul gave her the bottle of pumped milk. She then cried at 3:30 and 5:30am. I checked at 3:30, and she was on her back thankfully. Those two times she only cried a couple of minutes and then went back to sleep, but starting at 6:15am she was crying more often than not so I went and got her at 6:50. That was the first time I went that long without nursing her (ever) since she refused me at midnight so I actually was leaking on my clothes for the first time in a long time. She didn't refuse to nurse this morning that is for sure, LOL!

So does anyone else have any input on a baby sleeping on her belly even though you put her down on her back? Paul says although he knows I think she's growing up too fast, this is one reason he's looking forward to her being out of this stage - he will be glad when she's totally past the risk of SIDS.

Christmas Dinner

We don't have any Christmas parties to attend per se, but I had a Christmas luncheon at an Italian restaurant with my colleagues at work on Dec 5th, and tonight I am attending a Christmas dinner at another restaurant with the handbell choir. Paul was invited to the event tonight, but #1 we don't have a babysitter and #2 Paul really doesn't enjoy these types of events so he truly doesn't mind staying home and studying while Nadia sleeps. I plan to make the announcement tonight that we are leaving the church. I am not looking forward to that at all. Of course it's not like we've moved really far away and can't visit from time to time, but still it won't be the same. I've enjoyed playing in the bell choir the past 4 1/2 years. Even if we didn't switch churches, I don't think I could play with the handbells as with my schedule of teaching 2 nights a week I will likely be teaching on Monday nights for awhile.

Today I ordered some pictures from Kodak. It's wonderful being able to take hundreds (or thousands, LOL) of digital pictures, and I do weed out a lot of those even as far as what I save on the computer, but I also want some that I can have a copy of for a scrapbook (haven't started that yet) or for the frig or whatever. I think I ordered about 45 pictures which isn't bad considering I hadn't ordered any since July. I also ordered two photo gifts - an ornament that the whole thing will be covered by Nadia's picture on both sides (one of the recent photos of her wearing the My 1st Christmas outfit) and a coffee mug for Paul (I should say "tea mug" as he only drinks tea in it, LOL). The mug has his favorite photo repeated all over (one of the ones used for our Christmas cards). So I guess I wasn't done Christmas shopping yesterday! :-) Maybe now I'm done. I think he'll like the mug and ornament. It will be a treasure to hang that on our tree every year.

Nadia is weaning herself off of me. It's really sad. It's hard not to burst into tears as I type this. When she first came home we were giving her about 2 ounces a day of formula in addition to nursing and then gradually that went to 4 ounces. Then when I started teaching it went to 6 ounces that the babysitter would give her while I taught. That lasted for awhile and then she went to 8 ounces a day. I was hoping we could stay at that but for awhile she jumped to 12 ounces. Then over Thanksgiving I got her back down to 8 ounces. Well about a week ago for some unknown reason it jumped back to 12 ounces and then this week has jumped to about 22 ounces a day of bottle (18 of formula and 4 of my milk). I have NO idea why it's gone up at the very time I was trying to get it to go down. I was hoping to wean her off of formula starting this week and in fact the opposite seems to be happening. I was pumping 3 times a day in the beginning of the week but that's been tapering off as she just screams half of the time when I try to get her to nurse even times when I am SURE I have milk. She just doesn't want me any more sometimes. :-( She still nurses fine at the midnight or 1am feeding and also when she gets up at 6-7am, but the rest of the day it's hit or miss whether she'll nurse or if she'll just scream until we make her a bottle.

This has been very hard for me emotionally. Ironically the first two months, nursing was painful for me. Then finally it didn't hurt. Of course in the very beginning it was all so very stressful in light of her not gaining weight, trying to get her to nurse without the shield, etc. The last almost 4 months it hasn't been stressful or painful for the most part. The only time it's been painful recently has been when I've gone too long w/o nursing due to her sleeping more at night or me being away at work and unable to nurse. The real irony is that now I am at home with her all the time and in the next semester will only be away two afternoons/evenings a week so I could nurse her and definitely pump enough for those two days that she shouldn't need any formula any more. That was my goal. My other goal was to nurse her until she was 12 months old. I really feel so disappointed that it doesn't seem like that will happen. I'm going to keep nursing her in this supplemental fashion for as long as she wants to nurse, but of course I am not wanting the midnight feeding to continue forever so the amount of ounces she gets from me a day will decrease. Plus I have no idea if at some point she'll just reject me totally. So far she'll still accept me a few times a day. I don't know how many ounces she's getting a day from me. If I pump at night before I go to bed I still get about 4 ounces in 10 minutes.

Aside from the savings of $$ and also the fact that my milk is the best thing for her physically, it has been wonderful for me emotionally although not so for the first about 2 months. It's so special to feel so close to her, and over the last couple of months she often will pop off and give me a smile that is different from her other smiles and then gets back on (such a change from when it was SUCH a struggle to get her to latch on!). I wish I could have a photo of that smile but of course the photo would be indecent so no such photo exists. I am afraid the memory will fade. I am trying to hold onto it as long as possible. Also, I know that losing weight is going to be harder for me now. I had been losing weight without even trying, and then I think I got too laid back about watching what I was eating and I started gaining again. So I've been more careful lately and my weight is going back down again. I am not quite down to where I was at 13weeks pg, but I am almost there. However, I still really need to lose about 15 lbs as I had gained some in between the fresh transfer and FET. I'd like all my clothes to fit me, and if by any chance I do get pg again some day, I want to start a little lower this time than I did when I got pg with Nadia.

That's the other topic that comes up in my mind when I think my nursing days might end sooner than expected. I had thought we'd do IVF again after I weaned Nadia, but I was thinking that would be in the summer. So do we start the process sooner? I'll be 37 in April so obviously time is not on our side in terms of my egg quality so maybe sooner is better than later. Also, I have 18 weeks of paid sick leave accumulated at work so having a baby during the school year would mean I could use some of that (which I couldn't when I had Nadia in the summer). For example if I had a baby the end of February I could probably take almost a whole semester off using paid sick leave (in which case I would work FT that semester) as I would have March/April paid through the 8 weeks allowed post partum, and then I could probably have the month of February off as I imagine since I had Nadia almost 4 weeks early the doctor would probably want me to quit work earlier to try to avoid preterm labor with #2. Of course this is all presuming IVF #2 would work which of course it very well might not work at all, but if it would work then March might be the time to start the process up again since it takes about 2 months from the start until the transfer. Well enough of all that...

Last night Nadia did well the first stretch (didn't wake up until about 1am), but then after that there were MANY tears. I got her up at 6am as she had cried so much off and on since 3:30am. In light of her early wake up time, I did have her take 4 naps today (two long and two short) so tonight she should be able to stay up until 7pm which will hopefully mean she doesn't need to get up at 6am tomorrow. When I went to bed at 7:30 I noticed she was on her belly, so I flipped her but thankfully that didn't wake her up.

The next thing I need to video is her laughing. Sometimes she just laughs a loud laugh for a long time. It's the most beautiful sound in the whole wide world to me! What more could I want for Christmas than to hear my sweet girl's laughter and cooing and see her smile? :-)

O Christmas Tree

This morning I put Nadia in the Snugli and "we" put the ornaments and bows on the tree. Near the end I called Paul down to come join us so we could do it as a family for a little bit. My energy level is higher in the morning so I enjoyed it more this morning than I would have this evening. I am glad Paul really wanted to get a tree. If it was up to me, we wouldn't have gotten one this year. Usually we get our tree the day after Thanksgiving and decorate it the same day or the next day at the latest. This was the longest our tree sat in the living room before being decorated, and Thanksgiving was even on the late side this year.

Today I finished my Christmas and birthday shopping and also finished wrapping all the gifts that are in the house (some are en route)! There are several bdays in Dec/Jan/Feb so I shop for those gifts at the same time as when I do my Christmas shopping. I did some online and then went to Walmart for a few of the last items.

Last night I nursed her a little earlier than I'd like to, but she had already cried an hour. The good news was that when I put her back down at midnight, she slept until 6:30am which was awesome! I let her get up then since she did so well at sleeping 6 1/2 hours straight. One of the nice things of her taking longer naps are that now I can go to the store and come back before she wakes up from her nap (like when I went to Walmart today). Of course that's only helpful when Paul is home. :-)Sometimes what interferes with her sleep (at night or during naps) is that she rolls over. Although she liked sleeping on her belly in the NICU, she doesn't like it any more (which is good due to the increased risk of SIDS if she's asleep on her belly). Oh and speaking of rolling over, Paul finally witnessed her performing that feat, LOL.

My last update for the day will be that according to my scale - with clothes on (and a dry diaper), Nadia now weighs 15 lbs! She's a growing girl!!! Sometimes I wish she wouldn't grow up quite so fast.