VBAC???

I admit that long before we started ivf again I was already thinking about what should we do if I get pg again. I asked the OB about it at my 9 week postpartum visit as she was the one who delivered Nadia. She felt I could do a VBAC because most likely the next baby would not be in the same position Nadia was. In light of Nadia's bday coming up and my first OB appt being scheduled for next Wed, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. For those who might not have been following my blog a year ago, my water broke while I was sleeping in the early part of my 36th week of pregnancy. I was in labor for 19 hours (pushed for 4+ of those hours) before having an emergency c-section. Although the first 6 hours of labor weren't exactly "pleasant" they were very bearable (would have been even easier with an epidural, but they wouldn't give me one due to my platlet dysfunction). It wasn't until I hit 9cm dilated that it became a very unpleasant experience for me simply because when I would have a contraction it was extremely hard NOT to push. I was at 9cm for EIGHT hours. Part of that time they said I only had a "lip" or a "partial lip," but they still wouldn't let me push. That was the worst part of the 19 hour experience (as well as the few minutes when I wasn't allowed to push right before the c-section). Of course pushing for that many hours was extremely exhausting (and frustrating when they pushed her head back inside and said I had to have a c/s). If I had the choice of 19 hours of labor or a c/s, I would pick 19 hours of labor. I just don't want deja vu to occur and have 19 hours of labor plus a c/s again. The two worst parts of the c/s in my opinion were #1 the pain from the incision and #2 the ridiculous amount of swelling that I had in my legs and feet.

One possible advantage for a c/s is that I can have 2 extra weeks of paid leave, but looking at the calendar I doubt it would actually turn out that way because I think a scheduled c/s would take place prior to my EDD which would mean it would be before the semester began, and I think the 8th week would be spring break which I'd get off anyhow. I think if I gave birth the first week of the semester I'd still get those same 7 weeks off (6 plus spring break). I know Amie has done a VBAC. Anyone else have an opinion on whether to do a VBAC or a scheduled c/s? I might change my mind, but at the moment I am planning on returning to work part-time (teaching 2 night classes) after spring break (the 2nd half of the semester). I would get paid full-time for the first half of the semester as my childrearing leave for Nadia ends in December, and my parental leave for the jellybean won't start until my paid sick leave is over. I am happy that I will get 7 weeks of full-time paid leave this time (if I go full-term and don't have a c/s) considering I didn't get any paid leave with Nadia. Of course if this baby also decides to come early then my paid leave will be shortened. I really want to make it to at least 37 weeks this time as I want to avoid a NICU if at all possible. The hospital I have selected this time doesn't have one which is actually a plus in my mind. I know if this baby really needs the NICU he/she can easily be transported to the other hospital which is only 15-20 minutes away from the one I plan to give birth in this time around. The reason Nadia was put in the NICU was because they thought she might have an infection which two days later we found out she didn't have after all. I really don't think her time in the NICU was necessary or helpful for her, and it was extremely stressful for me. Of course that's water under the bridge, but I'm just hoping to avoid NICU this time around.

The group I am seeing this time has 6 OB/GYN's and 4 midwives. My first appt is with one of the midwives. Last time the only time I saw a midwife was when I had my stitches taken out a week after delivery. I've heard good things about seeing midwives though so hopefully this will be a good experience.

Last RE Appointment

My first RE appointment was 6 years ago, and my first appointment at this particular clinic was 5 years ago. Today was my last. I saw our little one's head, body, legs, and heartbeat. We also got to hear the heartbeat again. Dr. A said I should stay on the progesterone suppositories for 3 more weeks, and he said I should schedule my first OB appt for sometime in the next 1-2 weeks. My last u/s with him during Nadia's pregnancy was in my 10th week, but the good news is that the OB office I selected for this pregnancy does an u/s at the first appt (they prefer it to be at 8 weeks), and my appt is for next Wednesday when I'll be 10 weeks. The OB I went to during my pregnancy with Nadia didn't do any u/s until 20 weeks. I'll be delivering at a different hospital this time around. If you need help deciphering the photo above, the baby's head is on the right side pointed down, and the leg is on the very left edge. The yolk sac is at the bottom of the gestational sac (baby is at the top and is much bigger than the yolk sac). The baby wasn't too active (although the first u/s pics the legs are tucked under so I picked this one to post where the legs were extended), but I remember Nadia wasn't very active for her 8 week ultrasound either. It wasn't until the 10 week one that she was moving around more. Dr. A never told me how the baby was measuring (which he did at all 3 ultrasounds with my last pgcy), and he didn't tell me what my due date is (which he did last time), but that's okay as I know I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow and my due date is January 20th. It's such a relief to know our jellybean is still doing well!!! PTL!!! :-)

Fingernails

The first few months of her life, I was able to clip Nadia's fingernails while she was nursing. Then she started to be too much of a wiggle worm (even while nursing) to continue that. The next thing that worked for awhile was to let her watch tv while I clipped her nails (it was the only time I let her do so). That stopped working a few months ago. Lately it's been a two person job. Paul gives Nadia her first bottle of the day (around 6am), and I clip her nails while she's drinking her milk. We do this once a week on average as otherwise she starts scratching her face. So it hit me this morning that we're going to have to come up with a new method once I wean her off of the bottle. Any suggestions???

Maybe 6 times over the past few months Nadia has called Paul "Daddy" instead of the usual "Dada." She's never called me "Mommy" yet, but she has called me "Mom" instead of the usual "Mama" a few times. Paul was complaining that she now says mama far more than dada, but I replied that he got to hear dada for a few months before I heard mama. Another difference would be that dada is/was almost always said in a pleasant voice whereas mama is most often said in a fussy/crying voice. I am very happy though to hear my name! I waited many years to have a child call me mama. :-)

Nadia vs. the Bug

While we were on the patio this morning (Daddy was draining and cleaning her pool which had gotten rather "slimy"), Nadia saw a bug near her. She proceeded to pick it up between her fingers (killing it in the process) and was about to eat it except Mommy said "NO EAT!" She listened this time and promptly dropped the bug. If only she would always be so obedient! :-) Another gross thing she tried to eat from our porch a week or two ago was some bird poop. Yuck! That is the one BIG disadvantage to the fact that little family of robins likes to spend a lot of time on and near our back porch. Our porch has quite a few white spots now. :-( Unfortunately Nadia finds them enticing. She picks at the spots with her finger and then wants to lick her finger. I believe I've stopped her before she's actually consumed any. Yuck!!

Last night we went to the Carnival. On the way home from shopping, she fell asleep. This 3rd nap proved to be a blessing as it meant she was actually awake when she rode the carousel for the 2nd time. She smiled and laughed especially when she saw Mommy waving at her. This carnival was held near one of our town's parks so we spent some time there as well.

ink we'll greatly appreciate this new mower although it still won't be as easy as our riding mower was.

This week we got our refund from the ivf; we got $1,500 back of the $8,200 we paid in March. We got the refund because they didn't do assisted hatching and we didn't have any embryos to freeze. Last week we received $750 we weren't expecting. First there was a paper on my desk stating that I was going to be paid $500 for some work I had done over the past year on the curriculum (pleasant surprise!), then we got a $250 check that we weren't expecting. PTL!

Cardboard is Yummy!

Nadia loves to eat paper products. Over the last couple of months she's been seen putting paper, Kleenex, toilet paper, napkins, etc. in her mouth. I used to let her play with the junk mail as she'd have fun crumpling and tearing it, but I can't give it to her any more as doing so means fishing little pieces of paper out of her mouth. Same goes for cardboard boxes. I used to let her play with small empty boxes (such as for granola bars or cereal), but now she bites or rips little pieces off and tries to eat them. Yesterday my friend dropped off her slide, which he had picked up for me on Wednesday at Walmart. I thought she'd have fun playing inside the box as it was several times bigger than her. I put a few toys inside and encouraged her to play in it. She went in, but she was only interested in eating the box not playing in it. At one point I saw her just licking the cardboard, and other times she was again tearing or biting off little pieces. So the box went out in the garage before it became her lunch.

The saddest moment in terms of her eating cardboard is that in the past week she's damaged two of her board books by biting a chunk out of them. :-( I thought board books were safe for babies to "eat." I guess not! I also think I must be underestimating the strength of her 4 teeth. Yesterday when I was serving her some ham & swiss cheese quiche I had made, I picked out the pieces of ham thinking she couldn't chew them. I think she could! So now I am trying to work with her on not eating books. She owns 4 bath books so I have been handing her one of those if she really seems to want to chew on a book. Hopefully she can learn not to put the books in her mouth, but it's going to be hard as she wants to put EVERYTHING in her mouth. I think part of the problem is that she's teething.

There are a few sippy cups that she can drink a couple of ounces from - Nuby, Nuk, and Munchkin brands (Gerber ones and the ones with a straw don't work for her at all). The ones that work for her have a REALLY soft spout, but she still does NOT like it. She'll drink a little when she's really hungry, but then she just cries. I think I'm going to have to just pack the bottles away and just deal with more crying than usual for a day or two as it's not that she can't drink from some of the sippy cups - she just prefers her bottle. I think cold turkey will probably be the way to go. That's what worked when I weaned her off the nipple thing I was using when I was nursing her at first. I know she's supposed to be off the bottle by 12 months old, and that's only 12 days from now so I'd better get her transitioned to a sippy cup soon!

Yesterday afternoon Paul's parents (and our nephew Shawn) came up to watch Nadia while I was at work so Paul could stay at PSU and get some work done. Shawn (age 13) assembled Nadia's new climber/slide. Earlier in the day when I was feeding her in her high chair, I told Nadia that Grandma and Pop Pop were coming to play with her today. She put down the toy that she had been playing with and started looking around the room even craning to see if maybe they were behind her high chair. It was so cute! Of course she doesn't understand the concept of "later" yet.

Tonight we plan to go to the fire company carnival that we went to last week. This week it's being held in our town. I think she should ride the carousel with Daddy tonight. Hopefully the weather will cooperate! :-)

Silver and Gold

I was thinking today of the lyrics "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold" because this morning a friend I hadn't seen in a year (since one of my baby showers last spring) came over and spent 4 hours with Nadia & I. It was her first time meeting Nadia. We've been friends since 1997. I hired her to teach first grade that fall. We worked together until 2003 when I left to teach at the college level, but we've kept in touch since then. It was so wonderful to spend time with Della today. This evening Nadia, Paul, & I enjoyed a picnic at my choir director's house; I only joined this choir in January so these are new friends.

As of today I am 8 weeks pregnant (1/5 of the way through if I go full-term). I can't wait for the next ultrasound. I also can't wait until I get to the stage where I can feel the baby moving. Doctor's appts aren't as big a deal when you have daily reassurance that the baby is alive and well. So far there are some similarities and some differences between this pregnancy and the last one. The morning sickness is about the same. Sometimes it lasts all day, and other times I only have it in the morning. Eating more frequently helps, and eating sweets makes it worse. Although poopy diapers don't usually bother me, the nausea is often intensified by smells so changing poopy diapers in the morning is rather unpleasant these days. The heartburn is better this time. Usually if I avoid chocolate, I can avoid heartburn. I am tired, but I can't take as many naps as I did the last time around. The same as last time, I have to pee seemingly 5 million times a day (particularly all through the night). In the morning my appetite larger than usual, but the rest of the day it seems my eyes are bigger than my stomach - my appetite has shrunk.

Carnival, Yes!

My mom came up yesterday afternoon to stay with us for about 24 hours. Our local fire company had a carnival in a neighboring town all last week, and starting tomorrow the same carnival will be held in our town until Saturday. We had planned to go on Friday night, but it was a cold and rainy day, so we went yesterday evening instead with my mom. We enjoyed eating some traditional carnival food such as Paul & I shared a funnel cake - a treat neither of us had eaten in a few years. I also took Nadia on her first two rides. They had other kiddie rides, but they were the kind that only kids could ride, and obviously at 11 months old she's not old enough to go by herself! So I took her on a carousel and a "tea cup" type ride. Some of the food stands didn't open until 6pm so we were still eating at that time, and then after we finished eating dinner we went on the rides. Nadia usually goes to bed at 7pm so as you can see from the one carousel picture, she was about to fall asleep on the horse. At least we know she wasn't frightened! We'll take her once more this week.

My mom also gave me a little help with my rose bushes yesterday. I've never had a rose bush before, and she's had them for years. I do have a few pretty roses already! Now we can only hope that we sprayed our apple trees in time to save them from the gypsy moths. I'm really hoping to be able to eat apples from our trees!

The reason my mom came up this weekend was because my choir was singing 5 anthems this morning; we usually only sing one. It's our last time singing until the fall. After church we went out to eat. My mom was impressed that the restaurant seats 750 and typically has 20-30 waitresses per shift.

Nadia's first word was "hi;" she said that very purposefully when she was really little. She'd even shout it from her bedroom, but usually she said it to me when I came to get her from her crib. She stopped saying it several months ago. So of the words she's said the last couple of months, her first word was "dada," second was "mama," and her third is "yes." I am pleasantly surprised as usually "no" comes before "yes." I thought she'd learn to sign "yes" before she started saying it, but there's no need to sign it now that she can say it. It's quite helpful! This evening I asked her if she wanted some banana and she said "yes" and came over to me. It's so wonderful to start to communicate with spoken words!! She's very good at responding to simple commands like "go get your baby" or "go walk with your lion." She can be in the opposite part of the room where that toy is, and when I give that instruction she'll usually go over and get whatever I asked her to get. This has shown me she knows which toy is her baby, lion, giraffe, etc. as she's retrieved the correct toy when I've used those words. I think we underestimate her receptive vocabulary!

She also is now walking 99% of the time. Crawling is almost a thing of the past. My mom worked with her on getting her to drink water from a cup. I think I might need to give up on sippy cups and just train her on a regular cup. I bought yet one more sippy cup on Friday (one with a straw that had been recommended to me by a couple of moms), and that didn't work either. I know she needs to be weaned off the bottles in the next couple of weeks. I've been mixing her formula with 2% milk the past couple of weeks, and she likes cow's milk just as much as formula (as long as it's warm!) so at least that won't be a difficult transition. Another transition that will be happening soon is that we can turn her car seat around. YAY!

"Just" one

Something I've been struggling with lately is people's reactions when I tell them I heard the baby's heartbeat. Those that have no idea we did ivf are very excited. I told my students on Tuesday night for example. We had done an introductory activity the first week of class where I asked each student to tell two truths and one lie about themselves and then as a class we tried to pick which of the 3 statements wasn't true. I hadn't participated the first week, but on Tuesday night I had given them 2 truths and 1 lie (the lie was "I love seafood"), and one of my truths was "I am expecting another baby." They were so happy for me, and it was such a breath of fresh air not to also hear people say things like they are disappointed it's not twins or triplets. I understand their disappointment as I was hoping for twins myself, but I know what a miracle it is for me to be expecting ONE baby at the age of 37 after our first cycle of ttc for #2 considering it took 5 1/2 years to conceive Nadia. For example, one lady in choir when she asked how many babies said she needed to know how excited to be. I feel badly that people are less excited because I am "only" expecting one baby. Most of the time we do expect women to carry only one baby at a time, but when people know you transferred back three, the expectations are different. I am sure in time I'll stop getting these comments, but for right now I have to say they make me a little sad. Of course I know all these hormone changes are making me more emotional than usual which is probably why this is bugging me more than it should. The bottom line is that God knows what is best for our family. Two children might be His best for us. I am quite certain that if this pgcy results in a baby in our arms that we'll never do ivf again. So if I do ever have a third child, it will have to be a surprise "au natural" pgcy - which hasn't happened in the last 7 years, and I'll be at least 38 before I get "AF" back again so I really doubt it will happen, but nothing is impossible with God. My guess is that our family will be complete with Nadia and the jellybean. Considering 2 years ago I was losing all hope of ever being a mom, having two kids is a wonderful miracle!

The last few days I've been busy grading papers (Can you believe I gave the midterm exam last night! Summer sessions go by soooo quickly!), writing exams for the independent study courses I am supervising the second summer session, and of course playing with Nadia as well as doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. The good news is that although I've still had plenty of moments of feeling like I am about to throw up, my energy level has come up some which has been a big blessing. We got a bit of cabin fever on Wednesday when it rained ALL day. Nadia and I usually spend part of the day on the back porch, in the yard, on the swingset, and/or taking a walk with the stroller. Thankfully yesterday was a pretty day. Speaking of the back porch, our robin family still spends a lot of time on or near the porch, and even though the three baby birds are getting much closer in size to momma bird (amazing how fast they grow!) - I still see her feeding them worms from time to time. Even when babies leave the nest, mommas still feed their children from time to time. :-)

I hear the word mama about 50 million times a day now. She definitely knows it's my name. This morning I was singing a song that had daddy in the lyrics and she started saying dada. One time she said the word "yes" - pronounced 100% accurately, but I haven't heard it enough to count it as one of her words. She says "dudu" when playing with her rubber duckies in the bathtub (definitely different than dada). Sometimes she calls Paul "daddy" but usually "dada." My name is the only one that she says while crying. I think she says mama when crying more than the usual waaaawaaaa more often these days, LOL!

I'll end with one other "just one" story. Dr. A told me on Tuesday that he had seen another patient that morning for her first pgcy u/s and was shocked to see she is carrying identical twins. The reason he was shocked is they only retrieved ONE egg and thankfully it did fertilize so they transferred one embryo. He couldn't believe that an ivf egg retrieval of just one egg has resulted in two babies. Amazing! It truly does only take one even though most REs would cancel an ivf cycle if they thought they could retrieve less than 4 eggs.

Many Blessings

1. We saw AND heard Nadia's sibling's heart beating away! PTL!!! I didn't get to hear Nadia's heartbeat until 13 weeks (at the OB). It was an unexpected surprise to get to hear this baby's heartbeat at 6w6d. My next ultrasound will be in 2 weeks. He gave me 5 photos last time and 4 photos this time, but you can't really see much of a baby in these. I'll post the next ones as I know he/she will look more like a baby at 8w6d. Thanks for all your prayers for our jellybean. Please keep praying!!

2. My youngest niece (Rachel) who will turn 1 month old this week was admitted to the hospital on Friday due to a fever. Thankfully she was discharged Sunday with the diagnosis of a mild upper respiratory virus.

3. Nadia has not yet had a fever. She has had a very healthy first year aside from the initial stint in NICU and one cold two months ago.

4. Sarah, Nadia's babysitter, is a blessing in terms of how reasonable her rate is, that her house isn't much out of the way for either Paul or I, and that Nadia likes her so much.

5. Nadia only needs to be with a babysitter 2 hours a week for this summer session and then 6 hours a week for the 2nd summer session as well as the fall semester. Considering I'll be working 75% of a full-time load, only 6 hours a week of being cared for by someone other than Mommy or Daddy is great! (I am not trying to criticize anyone who places their child in daycare; it's just our personal decision to try to keep her home as much as possible.)

6. Paul won't be a TA any more! I told him the next time he'll be grading papers will be when he's a professor. :-)

7. Watching Nadia "dance" gives great delight to both Paul & I. I need to get a video of it; she even "dances" while she's sitting in her highchair. It's so cute!

8. In the past week, Nadia has only gotten up prior to 6am once. Most days she's been waking up at 6:00, but other days she's slept later than that (such as 6:30 this morning). Even 6am is an improvement!

9. Last night was my last shot! This cycle I had 42 belly shots and 32 hip shots. I am glad there isn't a need for shot #75. :-) I start the progesterone suppositories tonight instead.

10. My mom is coming up for a visit this weekend. We are looking forward to that!

Empty Nest

I hadn't seen the robin making her usual "million" trips a day to the nest with worms lately; so I peeked in the nest in our bush yesterday, and sure enough, it's empty. I guess the three little baby robins were big enough to fly out of their nest. Baby birds grow up rather quickly! I am glad our babies don't leave the nest for at least 18 years. :-)

Friday I finally decided what to get Nadia for her birthday. Since she LOVES to climb (in fact she can climb most of the way up our big slide in the backyard), we're getting her this toy that could be used indoors or outdoors. Hopefully she'll like it! I also plan to get her a couple of small things like a stroller for her dolls, but this will be her main gift from Mommy & Daddy. Thanks for the suggestions! She enjoys pushing around her "lion" so I think she'll enjoy a doll stroller as well. The lion is such that if we put the seat down it becomes a riding toy instead of a walking toy.

For several months whenever her bath time is almost over I always have said "bye bye duck" etc. to each of her bath toys as I took them out of the water and "bye bye water" as I opened the drain. This past Thursday she joined in with me and started saying "bye bye" after I said it. It was so cute!!!

Paul got good news last week that his advisor's grant is going to be renewed. This means he won't have to be a TA any more; he'll get paid the same stipend "just" to do his research. YAHOO! This is a big answer to prayer. It will make his goal to graduate by May 2012 more feasible. He has one more class to take this fall semester, and then he'll be done taking classes. Last year he took 2 classes a semester plus spent a lot of time grading and such for his TA responsibilities. He will have a lot more time to devote to his research this coming academic year. He plans to take his comprehensive exam next spring.