Teeth and Words

It's funny, but I use a very different standard for counting new words and new teeth. If any part of a tooth breaks through, I count it as a new tooth. Yesterday part of her fourth molar broke through; so I now consider her to have 11 teeth although not all of the four molars have completely come in yet. I remember having the same dilemna with when to declare she was walking. I've heard others say three consecutive steps. My bar was a lot higher for that. She was taking 3 or more steps long before I declared she was walking. I waited until she was walking more than she was crawling. I guess each of these decisions are rather subjective. In terms of new words, I don't count a word until she says it mutiple times on more than one day. I have the count at seven with her newest word being "hot" which I think in her mind actually means "bagel" because I tell her it's hot when she's wanting to have a few bites right after I take it out of the toaster oven. The bagel is supposed to be for me, but as moms know, if you want to eat something totally on your own, you must eat it while your child is sleeping. If you eat it while they're awake, you WILL be sharing at least a few bites of it. :-)

Yesterday was a busy day. Nadia woke up at 5:30am again. Thankfully she slept until 6:25 this morning. Yesterday I was out the door at 7am to take Nadia to Sarah's on my way to work. I was at work for 2 hours (faculty meeting and then I did 2 peer observations) before coming back home. My mom arrived from Maryland a few minutes later. At 2:30 I left for work again and returned home at 8:30pm. Today my mom, Nadia, and I are just hanging out at home until I'll leave at 2:30 for school.

Free Food

We are still working on the transition to one afternoon nap. She seems to be going in the right direction and then takes some steps backward so to speak. How long she sleeps at night has been rather erratic during this transition. She used to be very consistent (11 hours). We've had a couple of nights that have exceeded 12 hours, but then we've had many that were 10 hours or less. We've tried putting her to bed later, but that hasn't seemed to help. She was up at 5:30 this morning.

 I felt convicted about my attitude during the sermon today which was on how we're never supposed to complain. I have to admit I started out my day with a complaint that Nadia was up at 5:30. Truly I should have offered up a word of thanks for my precious daughter instead. Yesterday she was soooo tired in the morning that I thought maybe she needed two naps. So I put her down at 10am. She fell asleep immediately and slept until 11:45. She wouldn't take an afternoon nap though so that reaffirmed in my mind that I shouldn't put her down any earlier than 11:30 no matter how much she's yawning and such. The length of her nap has been going in the right direction. At the start of this transition period some naps were as short as 30 minutes, and normally she slept 2-3 hours when she was taking 2 naps! Lately they've been close to two hours and sometimes even a little longer than two hours. She seems to function best on 14 hours of sleep total so she's been on the fussy side as she hasn't been getting that many hours a day lately. If you have any suggestions on how to help a child transition from two naps to one, I welcome it! I think the ideal would be if she slept from 7:30pm to 7:00am and took a nap from 11:30am-2:00pm. One way I know she's not getting enough sleep is that she falls asleep almost every time she's in the car these days - even if the trip is only 5 minutes total.

Paul took my new laptop with him so I am missing that in addition to missing my hubby. I also am going to miss being able to talk to him on the cell phone as it would cost a fortune if we used our cell phones while he's in Canada. Paul is worried that Nadia will forget him. I am confident she won't forget him in 5 days. He's on the road right now. I think the drive from State College to Toronto will take them about 6 hours.

Nadia takes great delight in putting things in and out of various containers. I am using this to teach her how to put her toys away. However I am finding things in very funny places these days. A couple of days ago I found a stuffed animal, sandal, and the contents of her sock drawer in the hamper in her bedroom. Yesterday I had to retrieve a brand new (unopened) bottle of infant Tylenol from the trash can in the kitchen. I wonder how many things she's put in there that I didn't discover before we took the garbage out? So far only one thing (a bath book) has ended up in the toilet. I don't want to need to retrieve anything else from the toilet!

Going to miss Paul

Tomorrow morning Paul will be driving to State College, leaving his car at a friend's house, and then driving one of PSU's vehicles to the SIMS conference in Toronto. A visiting chemist from Poland is riding with him. He won't be back until Friday night. We're going to miss him!! His presentation is on Monday. On Wednesday he'll be taking a sight seeing trip to Niagra Falls, which he's never seen before. I saw it as a child with my family. Some day I hope we go as a family so our kids can see the falls. Because of Paul's trip, Nadia will only be spending 3 hours Monday morning at Sarah's; I have to make 2 trips to work on Monday. My mom will arrive on Monday and watch Nadia on Monday and Tuesday from 2:30-8:00pm while I'm at work. She'll go back to MD on Wednesday morning. Paul's parents will come up and watch Nadia from 3:30-8:00pm on Thursday.

Paul was told the dress code will be "business casual" so we headed to the mall (again!) to buy him some pants for the trip as he wears jeans almost all the time. After shopping we had dinner at McD's, and Nadia ate half of one of their little cheeseburgers plus a few fries and a few bites of my hot fudge sundae. She's a growing girl!

Are you ready?

For some football? I AM!!! This morning Nadia & I both had doctor appointments (at the same clinic). I had my 21 week OB appt with a group that delivers at the same hospital where I had Nadia. Nadia had an ear re-check appointment to be sure the ear infection she had one month ago had cleared up. Since her 15 month visit was scheduled for later this month, I asked if we could take care of that today as well so I could cancel the other appointment. My appts were at 10:00 and 10:30. Since this was my first prenatal visit at this clinic, I had to have an appt with the nurse before the OB. Nadia's appt was at 11:20. I finished my appt with the OB at 11:00, and the nurse almost took Nadia back then, but she said her 11:00 had just shown up. Bummer. Back to the waiting room we went. From the time we entered the clinic until we left a grand total of 2 hours and 10 minutes had passed. Of course much of that time was spent waiting in the waiting room or in the exam room. Nadia was a trooper considering her morning nap was delayed. She fell asleep as soon as I had her in the car, and although she woke up when I transferred her to her crib when we got home, she didn't cry very long. I hope she gets a long enough nap.

Nadia got 2 shots today. She's now 30 inches long (30th percentile which is a drop from the 40th percentile she was at 12 months when she was 29 inches long), and with her clothes and shoes weighed 23.5 lbs (58th percentile which is the exact same %ile she was at 12 months). Her head circumference was the same as at 12 months and this puts her at the 77th percentile (compared to 91st at 12 months). These percentiles are based the age of 15 months which she'll be in exactly 2 weeks. Her next appt with the doctor will be in December (18 month), but she'll go in twice in between now and then for flu shots. Last year she only got the first half of her flu shot. Hopefully this time she'll get both doses. The doctor gave her a clean bill of health. Yay!

My university gives free flu shots to employees, but they said you must have a note giving permission to have one if you are pregnant. The OB gave me my permission slip today. I'll have my flu shot in November. I've gained 14 lbs since my egg retrieval - 2 lbs since my last ultrasound (17 days ago); I thought I'd gain less weight this pregnancy since I've been a lot more active, but I guess that isn't going to happen. Thankfully this time we were able to hear baby boy's heartbeat as soon as he put the doppler on my belly. That made this appt a lot less stressful than the last one! I have my next ultrasound in 20 days and my next OB appt in 28 days. I'm hoping by then baby boy has a name. So far Paul doesn't seem to have made any progress. The only two names he's suggested to me are Gordon and Newton, and I've vetoed both of those as a first name for our son.

The OB I met with today is also a bit cautious in terms of VBAC. He said just last week at the hospital where I'd deliver a woman attempting VBAC had her uterus rupture while she was pushing. Thankfully the baby and woman lived. I forget the exact number, but I think he said in 20 years of being an OB he's had 4 patients have their uterus rupture. The last time it happened to him the mom lived but the baby died. He agreed that the risk is 1%, but he said if you happen to be that 1/100 you don't really care what the stats are. He said it's my choice, but he wanted to make sure I am aware of the risk. He said if I was planning to have more children after this one, he'd be more inclined to support my decision to do VBAC. He says when a woman tells him this is likely her last pregnancy, he suggests a scheduled c-section (and also have tubes tied). I should have clarified that I would love more children, but since we're not going to do IVF again I really don't expect to have any more babies after this one. I certainly don't want my tubes tied! He expressed concern that I had trouble delivering a 6lb baby. He felt that the position she was in shouldn't have mattered. So I am at a loss whether to go with Dr. Ahoya's opinion (she's the one who delivered Nadia) or these other OB's who think if you can't push out a 6lb baby you'd better have a scheduled c-section the next time around. She told me Nadia's size had nothing to do with it. I'll try to have one of my next appts with her and see if her opinion is the same as it was at my postpartum visit in 2008. I will say his attitude was better than the ones at the other clinic. He didn't treat me like I was nuts to be considering VBAC.

First time at MOPS

When I was single and then even more so when I was married yet childless, one of the things I looked forward to participating in when I finally became a mom was MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I had many friends over the years who had talked about how they enjoyed it. I didn't go last year for several reasons - my class schedule conflicted with the meeting time in the fall semester, it interfered with Nadia's nap schedule in the spring semester, and the closest one is at my "old" church (25 minutes away). However, I am not teaching on Wednesdays this semester, and Nadia has transitioned to one nap a day. Since MOPS only meets once a month and I will get to see friends I haven't seen in awhile, it seems well worth the commute. I am not sure if I'll continue to go once January rolls around, but I might since little ones under the age of 4 months can usually sleep just about anywhere.

This morning they had quite a delicious assortment of refreshments available at the meeting. The leaders were in charge of bringing the food today, but each "cottage group" is responsible for a meeting or two throughout the year. These groups are based on where you live. No one else from my town was there, but I picked the group closest to my home (about 15 minutes away). It was a small group; we are in charge of the food for the next meeting. There was one lady in our group who remembered me from a ladies Bible study I had attended a few years ago. Unfortunately I didn't remember her. She remembered that I had been having trouble having a baby. It turns out she and her husband just had their first in April (a girl) after ttc 4 1/2 years. They had also been pursuing domestic adoption. When a birthmother picked them, she was actually pregnant (and didn't know it). That birthmother changed her mind, but that didn't bother them too much since they had since found out they were expecting. It was nice to meet (or I should say become reacquainted with) someone who has also been down the paths of trying to adopt and infertility. The cottage groups meet once a month (last Wednesday of the month) for a playdate. It would be wonderful if I made a friend or two through MOPS! :-)

We did a craft today of painting a coffee mug that they'll have ready for us at every meeting, and then we can take it home with us in May. I am not at all an "artsy/craftsy" sort of person so I just put all different color polka dots on my mug and also painted the handle. I can't remember the last time I painted something (aside from walls in our homes). I am sure I will be painting and coloring more often once Nadia is old enough to enjoy such activities. Right now she'd just prefer to eat the crayons.

The only scheduling problem with MOPS is that the meetings are from 9-11am, and lately Nadia has been going down for her one nap a day around 11:30. I knew she was going to fall asleep on the way home, and she did. The problem is that 25 minutes is not a long enough nap. She's been a bit crankier lately because her one nap has only been one hour long (whereas her naps used to total 2-3 hours). Yesterday her one nap was 95 minutes so we are at least going in the right direction, and thankfully she's also been moving in the right direction with her wake-up time as for awhile she was reverting back to waking up at 5:15am. Last night Paul put her down at 7:35pm, and she woke up at 6:50am. When we got home I fed her lunch and let her play for awhile before putting her down at 1pm. Hopefully she'll nap for at least an hour even though she already had one short nap in the car. I am very grateful I finally am eligible to participate in MOPS and also that the time the meetings are held works for me this year.

VeggieTales

I've read posts on other blogs which listed those things people believed they would never do when they became a parent. Some of the things they listed I honestly hadn't given much thought to prior to become a mom (such as whether or not to let baby "cry it out"). One woman had "my child's clothes will always match"on her list. Although I don't recall ever thinking about that prior to becoming a parent, I will say that I still can't imagine dressing my little princess in clothes that don't match; that day hasn't come for me yet although Paul has dressed her in a pj top & bottoms that clashed a few times. Here are a few things I do remember feeling strongly about before I became a mom (in no particular order):

1. Given how many books I've bought for our kids, it shouldn't be a shock that I planned on spending a lot of time reading to our kids.

2. I hoped that we'd take a family vacation every year. Although Paul & I have taken all our trips outside the US, I expected most would be within the US once we had children.

3. I planned on exclusively nursing (no formula) for at least one year. I didn't achieve this goal with Nadia, but I am hoping this will be true with our son.

4. We planned on either homeschooling our children or sending them to a private school.

5. Many years ago I would have said I would definitely be a SAHM. Although that hasn't been true, I am pleased that Nadia was home with Mommy or Daddy for the first 11 months and since May has only been at the babysitter's house for on average 6 hours a week. For example, this week she'll just be there 3 1/2 hours as tomorrow will be the only day she'll be at Sarah's.

6. I planned on feeding my children healthy meals as much as possible. I wanted to do whatever possible to prevent them from being overweight. Nadia ate almost no sugar the first 12 months. I haven't been quite as strict lately, but I still try to make sure that she eats lots of healthy foods. I have planned to delay the introduction of soda into their diets as late as possible which I think might be a challenge as Paul drinks soda every day. So far it's not an issue as Nadia doesn't even like to drink fruit juice. She almost exclusively drinks milk (with a few sips of water here and there).

7. I planned on trying to potty train my daughter(s) around 18 months and son(s) around age 2. We shall see if that happens or not. :-)

8. I planned on delaying the introduction of watching tv as many years as possible and then limiting the amount of "screen time" (whether that was video games, computer games, tv, etc.) each day for many years after that.

Well number 8 is the reason for this post. The first few weeks of her life the tv was on while I was nursing her, but since she was about 2 months old, I have tried to have the tv on as little as possible while she's awake. One exception would be when a Steeler's game is on! The first time I was tempted to turn on PBS for her was when I was feeling really lousy with morning sickness. I quickly learned though that most shows on PBS didn't interest her at all. The exception was Sesame Street, which she would watch while sitting on my lap for about 4 minutes on average before losing interest.

Years ago I had bought a bunch of VeggieTales videotapes on eBay. I decided to try those. I found that the ones which are primarily talking didn't interest her at all, but she loved the Silly Song ones. When she was sick (ear infection & cold) she would snuggle in my arms through an entire 30 minute Silly Song video. I had conflicting emotions as I felt guilty about letting her watch a video, but I did love the snuggle time! This opened a can of worms as now she frequently points to the tv, which is her way of asking to watch VeggieTales. I recently purchased the Silly Song collection on DVD on eBay. I am not sure when she would lose interest, but I can say she could definitely snuggle in my lap and watch it for more than 30 minutes if I let her. Paul said he had the song "We are the pirates who don't do anything" going through his head while he mowed the lawn yesterday, lol. I can't believe I am already in a battle with my daughter over how much tv she watches each day. To be honest, I think it's more a case of her enjoyment of being able to communicate her wishes than that she really wants to watch VeggieTales all day long. I knew some day the battle would begin over how much tv she watched a day, I just didn't think it would be at the age of 14 months, especially since I didn't plan on letting her watch any tv or videos at this age. I am fully aware of all the reasons why I should go back to not letting her watch any tv or videos, but I expect I'll probably keep letting her watch a little bit of Silly Songs each day in part because I love the cuddling time!!

The photo below shows the letters I think I'll order once we pick a name for our son. I found others that I liked better that were painted with a transportation theme on them (rather than brown with a truck attached to each letter), but the cost of the others was absurd (more than double). If we pick a 3 letter name I might consider the other ones, but most likely I'll go with these (which are expensive enough at $8.50 a letter). I've liked having Nadia's name on her wall and want to do the same for our son.

P.S. Let me add a disclaimer that of course I do NOT think it's wrong if other parents feel differently about the items in my list. I am sure many of my readers chose to use formula instead of nursing, chose to put their children in public schools, chose to put their children in daycare, etc. I don't want to come across as judgmental at all. I am just stating what were/are my preferences for my children.

3 Contacts, Ten Teeth

Yesterday I was wearing 3 contacts for a few hours. I don't recommend doing that. Nadia poked my right eye, and my vision in that eye became what it is when I am not wearing contacts or glasses. I looked in the mirror to see if I could find the missing contact, and I also had Paul look in the eye. Neither of us could find it and although we couldn't find the contact in the carpet, we assumed it was no longer in my eye. So I put another contact in that eye. A few hours later I pulled the "missing" contact out of the corner of my eye. Ouch!

Last night Nadia woke up at 1:30am. I should have given her Tylenol right from the start. One of these days I'll learn. I finally gave it to her at 2:30am and finally was able to get her back to sleep at 3am. Paul was working in his office, and a few times I did let her cry for a little bit. So he decided at 2:40am to drive to school and work in his office there instead. He probably arrived about 4am. Nadia didn't cry from the time he left until when she woke up at 6:30am. This morning I discovered the cause of the tears - her third molar had broken through (first one on her bottom jaw). She now has ten teeth. I gave her Tylenol before she went to bed tonight so hopefully she'll sleep through the night.

I had to put her down early for her nap because I was taking her to Sarah's earlier than usual as I had a faculty meeting at 2pm. Unfortunately a train woke her up after she had been asleep 70 minutes. I think otherwise she would have taken a longer nap. Thankfully she did not cry at Sarah's today. Eli was also there, and she enjoys playing with Eli. She happily ran toward him in the yard. Eli will turn 1 year old next week. Hopefully she won't cry next Tuesday, which is the next time I'll be taking her to Sarah's since Paul & I have Monday off for Labor Day.

Another Music Lover

I started feeling my son's movements on a daily basis toward the end of my 18th week. It's not to the point where I feel kicks all throughout the day, but I have been feeling a few every day, which is very reassuring. He's definitely still in breech position as the kicks are super low. One good thing is that Nadia was always head down so the kicks were much higher, which wasn't a problem at first, but later in the pregnancy it hurt when she kicked my ribs. If he stays in this position, my ribs should be safe although of course I can't do VBAC if he's breech, but there's plenty of time for him to switch positions. The most I ever felt him kick within a short period of time was last night at choir rehearsal. Wow, was he kicking away!! Nadia did the same thing during choir and handbell rehearsals when I was pregnant with her. It seems our kids have at least one thing in common - they both love music. :-)

Nadia didn't get up until 8:30am on Monday, and the next two mornings she got up around 6:30. Unfortunately she woke up at 5:15 today, which meant she only slept 10 hours last night. She's only had an afternoon nap the last four days, but I decided today she needs two naps since she got up so early. She just fell asleep (it's 8:35am). I hope she'll also take an afternoon nap today. Yesterday she was really tired in the late afternoon/early evening. Her one nap was almost 2 hours long, but obviously it needs to be a bit longer as she was yawning at 4pm and lying on the family room floor at about 6:40pm. Paul put her to bed at about 7:15pm. Well I guess it's a case of four steps forward, one step back. I wouldn't have minded if she continued to take two naps for awhile longer, but she seemed ready to make the transition to one nap a day even though only 4 1/2 months ago she was still taking 3 naps a day. She's growing up!

Million Dollar Family?

I have had several people over the past week tell me that we'll have a "million dollar family" or "rich man's family" since we'll have a son and a daughter. I had never heard this expression before, but evidently many others have as people keep saying it to me. Before I realized that this was a common expression, I thought the first person who said it to me was referring to how much money we spent in our efforts to have/adopt children. We didn't spend anywhere near a million dollars, but we did spend over $20K on adoption and a little less than $20K on ttc. Don't get me wrong - I feel extremely blessed ("rich") that the Lord has given us a son and a daughter. For over 2 decades I had hoped I'd have at least 3-4 children, and I always hoped at least one of those would be a girl and at least one of those would be a boy. I planned to have all these children before turning 35; in God's plan, I didn't start until I was 36. I would feel just as blessed if the Lord had sent us two daughters or three sons or any other combination. To be honest, I believe having "just" one child is a huge blessing from the Lord, especially considering she arrived a little over 6 years after we started trying to have children. I think the idea that the ideal (or "rich") family contains two parents plus one daughter and one son is ridiculous - even if that soon will be the description of our family. Interestingly enough, this is not just an American belief. A colleague in my department, who grew up in China, showed me last night that in Chinese the character 好 that means "good" (or "right" or "excellent") is made up of two characters which by themselves mean 女 "daughter" and 子 "son." She said that in China it is viewed as good for a family to have two children - one son and one daughter. That seems to be in conflict with the one child policy, but I found it interesting that the American view of the composition of an "ideal" family is also held in other cultures.

I was asked at my last ultrasound if this pregnancy was planned. It can't get more planned than when you do IVF in order to conceive! I have to admit though that at times I am still in shock that I am pregnant again considering it took 5 1/2 years to conceive Nadia and only one (albeit medically, financially, and emotionally intense) cycle to conceive our son. It seems surreal to me at times, but of course my expanding waistline, feeling a little one moving within me, heartburn, etc. all remind me many times a day that yes I truly am pregnant again. Can you believe I am 20 weeks today? WAHOO! I am half-way done if he goes full-term! I can't wait to hold him in my arms, but I am hoping he'll wait until I'm at least 39 weeks along to make his grand arrival.

Yesterday Nadia fell asleep in the car around 11:40am, and we were in the car less than 5 minutes. She was OUT (see yesterday's photo); so I just carried her up and put her in her crib - shoes and all. I had planned to wait until at least 12:00 to put her down, but I figured it was close enough. Well that turned out to be the right decision as she slept until 2pm. Way to go, Nadia!!! Unfortunately she cried again when I was leaving her with Sarah; at least she "only" cried 5 minutes this time around. Wow is that hard on a Mommy's heart. I hope this phase ends soon as it was much easier to leave her when she was so happy to see Sarah. Last night Nadia went to bed at 7:20pm, and she woke up at 6:40am. Hopefully she'll take another nice long afternoon nap today.

Transitions

My transition back to school yesterday went more smoothly than Nadia's. When I left Sarah's, Nadia was screaming and reaching her arms toward me. It was really hard for me to leave. I was hoping to find out she only cried 1-2 minutes, but when Paul picked her up Sarah told him that she had cried for the first 15 minutes. I am not sure if it's a stage she's going through or if it's because she hadn't seen Sarah in 4 weeks, but I hope this doesn't become a pattern. The ironic thing is that over the 11 weeks this summer that she went to Sarah's she never cried. In fact almost every time she would squeal with delight when we pulled into her driveway, and she always greeted Sarah with big smiles and happy sounds. It was much easier to leave under those circumstances!

My graduate language arts class went well last night. Thirty-four of the thirty-five students enrolled showed up. Only two of the students have a bachelor's degree in education. It was interesting to hear what all the rest majored in for their undergrad degrees - art history, marketing, English, Spanish, anthropology, etc. Some just recently graduated from college, and others earned their bachelor's degree a long time ago. I taught until 7:30pm and got home around 8:15pm.

Yesterday we began the transition to one nap a day. It was very hard to keep her up until noon. She kept lying down and sucking her thumb - even on the linolium in the kitchen! I put her down at 12pm, and she fell asleep at 12:15 and slept until 1:40. Her two naps usually came to 2-3 hours of sleep a day so I am hoping her afternoon nap will eventually lengthen to 2 hours. Since she seemed more inclined to drop her afternoon rather than morning nap, we decided to see if a later bedtime would help her sleep in longer which would make it easier for her to stay awake until noon. Last night she went to sleep at 7:15 instead of 7:00pm. We were thinking of gradually moving toward a 7:30 bedtime. She had a 6pm bedtime for months and then the last few months has had a 7pm bedtime. An AMAZING thing happened this morning. The latest I ever recall Nadia sleeping in was 6:55am. For most of her life she has awakened between 5-6am. It has only been recently that she's been moving closer to 7am. She slept 13.25 hours straight last night! She didn't start stirring until 8:30am. WOW! I am not sure if she was actually going to wake up then, but I went in and got her at that time. AMAZING!! I was only trying to move her wake up time to 7am not 8:30, LOL. I think that the reason she slept so late this morning was because she had lost 1-2 hours of sleep a day for one week. I don't expect her to start sleeping 13 hours straight each night. I am just hoping maybe she'll sleep from 7:30pm to 7:00am. I think if she gets up at 7:00 it will be easier for her to stay up until noon. She shouldn't have ANY trouble today since she slept until 8:30!

P.S. I added a very short video to yesterday's post of Nadia playing the piano in her bedroom.