Wordless Wednesday

The beginning of the end

Ian finally embraced the concept of taking one nap a day in his bed (generally one hour long) at the age of 2 1/2, and it seems that he is now in the process of giving up that nap. Over the last couple of weeks that nap has been getting shorter and shorter most days. There have been a couple of times recently where he took a really long nap (upwards of 3 hours!), but the majority of the time his nap has been 15-30 minutes long lately. Fewer of his naps have been taken in his bed because if we are traveling anywhere after 11am, he falls asleep in the van. I've tried waking him up once we are home and putting him down for a nap a couple of hours later, but he can't fall asleep a second time. Now I just let him sleep in the van in the garage if this happens. The problem then is what to do when Oliver takes his nap. Ian is a noisy little guy, and I don't think the concept of a quiet time in his bedroom during Oliver's nap will work. I'm thinking of letting him play in the basement (would be viewed as a treat) during the time he's awake but Oliver is sleeping, and if he takes his nap in the van, then I think I'll let Nadia play down there also and let her skip her quiet time.

Once the kids are older, I'll reinstate quiet time in their bedrooms (they could play or read a book), but I don't think it will work out well at this point with Ian, if I expect Oliver to sleep in the room next to him anyhow. I do find that I need a bit of downtime myself, particularly on the days when Paul doesn't get home until after they are in bed. Having one hour to myself (to do my devotions or cook dinner or blog or clean, etc.) is very helpful when I have sole responsibility for the kids for 13 hours a day. Since the weather was nice today, I let Nadia and Ian play in the backyard while Oliver napped because Ian fell asleep on the way home from ladies Bible study. Nadia gave up her nap last summer while I was in the hospital shortly after she turned four years old; so I guess it makes sense that Ian will be giving his nap up shortly as he'll be turning four years old in about six weeks.

The other change that I knew would eventually occur but hadn't implemented yet was to start having Nadia take her bath separate from the boys. My mom gave Nadia and Ian separate baths on Saturday night, and when I went to give all three kids a bath this evening, Nadia told me she wanted to take hers separately, which she had never requested before. It was a bit tricky to shampoo her hair while watching Oliver when he was out of the tub. I need to teach her to wash her own hair. It cut down the amount of time any of them spent in the tub since I divided it in half, but otherwise it worked out fine. I guess now is the time to start working on the concept of privacy between the boys and Nadia. Thus far there really has been very little privacy in terms of bathing, going to the bathroom, and getting dressed/undressed. I knew it was something we'd work on at some point, and it seems the time has come now. Several weeks ago I had started expecting more privacy for myself in regards to Nadia and Ian. Oliver still is in the bathroom with me when I shower and such. Motherhood definitely has a way of stripping you of privacy, but it's just a temporary stage. I know I should feel excited about regaining some privacy, but I'm still adjusting to the idea that my childbearing years are over. I still find myself wanting to experience things (such as nursing) again; so I feel a bit blue when I realize that certain phases of motherhood are coming to an end for me.

Cold Milk

Sometimes when you are with someone day in and day out, the changes aren't as noticeable as they are to someone (such as a grandparent) who hasn't seen the child for a month or more. My parents really noticed how Nadia's soccer skills and Ian's self-feeding skills had improved. In the moment when Ian is gagging on his dinner or taking 90 minutes to eat a small sandwich, it's easy to forget all the progress that he's made. It's helpful to stop and recall the improvements. He now fully expects to feed himself all the time. He still asks for help at dinner with stabbing food with his fork or scooping it up with his spoon, but he knows he has to use the utensil to get the food in his mouth on his own. And we're working on getting him to do more of the scooping and stabbing himself. He now is 100% independent with feeding himself at breakfast and lunch, even if he has a yogurt. Both kids are doing much better with eating vegetables. I am not saying they enjoy many vegetables, but they now realize they are going to be eating them most nights. Progress!

Nadia has also adjusted to drinking water at lunch and skim milk at breakfast and dinner. I thought she was drinking too much juice. Ian drinks skim milk at all three meals, but I recently switched him from warm milk to cold milk. I also have Oliver drinking cold milk in his sippy cup. Warm milk isn't being served in this house any more! This is very helpful because if we buy milk when we're out and about, it's always going to be cold, and it was a challenge at times in the past to warm it up when we weren't at home. Now if we could just get Ian to take less than 90 minutes to eat his dinner. On average, he spends 3.5 hours a day sitting in his booster seat at the kitchen table eating (breakfast + lunch + dinner). It's exhausting, but we are going in the right direction. It would be faster if I fed him, but in the long run, we'll be glad he learned how to feed himself. Oliver is quite the opposite. He is Mr. Independent when it comes to feeding himself, although he hasn't learned how to use any utensils yet.

Carving Pumpkins!

Yesterday morning Nadia had her last soccer game of the fall season. Each child received a really nice medal at the end of the game to commemorate their participation on the team this season. That didn't happen last time; it was a pleasant surprise. We were very glad it was the last game because the wind was blowing and the temperature was only 48 degrees. We were COLD! My parents left their house early that morning so they could arrive in time to join us for the game. They were impressed with how much Nadia had improved since they had seen her play a game last spring. She's not the strongest player on the team, but she's no longer one of the weakest. She wants to play again in the spring. Maybe she'll score her first goal next year! If both kids want to play soccer next fall, Nadia would be on a U8 team, and Ian would be an a U6 team.

We came home, had lunch, and then Paul and I started our trek to King of Prussia with Oliver. There's a REALLY huge mall there, but we went see the CHOP urologist who did Ian's second surgery. It took us 2 hours and 40 minutes to get there, and we were there for 2 hours. I wish they had let us wait in the waiting room where they had toys, but we spent almost the whole time in an exam room, where they didn't have any toys. Dr. Canning said that Oliver needs to have two shots of testosterone 6 and 3 weeks prior to the surgery because his penis is too small. The other option would be to wait until he is 2 1/2 years old to have the first surgery, but that would mean he couldn't be potty trained until he was over 3 years old, and it also means he might remember the surgeries. We opted for the testosterone shots. He thinks that it will take two surgeries (like Ian) with at least 6 months in between, but he says that he won't know for sure until he's in the surgery. It would be awesome if would only take one surgery, but it's probably better for me emotionally to just assume it will take two surgeries. We're hoping the first one will take place in early January. We shall see when the scheduling coordinator calls us.

While we were driving to and from the urologist, my parents were doing things like carving pumpkins with Nadia and Ian, taking the kids to McD's for dinner and to enjoy the play land, and giving the kids baths. We got home shortly before they went to bed. I was really dreading having Oliver in the car for 6 hours as that was the longest he ever spent in a car in one day in his life, and he doesn't like being in the car, but he did pretty well. He slept for two hours on the way there, and he slept for about an hour on the way back. We kept him up an hour later once we were home (until 9pm) in the hopes that he wouldn't wake up too early this morning, but he still got up an hour earlier than usual this morning. My parents spent the night and went with us to our former church this morning because I was playing the handbells. After having lunch at Perkins we came home and watched football with them. Paul took Nadia and Ian to a church's trunk or treat event this afternoon, which they really enjoyed. My parents left after we ate dinner. The kids have never gone trick or treating before, but we are planning to take them this Thursday night. No one goes trick or treating around our neighborhood. They'll probably wear different costumes on Thursday, but today Nadia went as Rapunzel and Ian went as a clown. It was great seeing my parents. Hopefully we'll see them again next month for Thanksgiving! I have more pictures, but I'll save some for later this week!

Thankful Thursday

1. Oliver's morning nap almost never lasts more than 30 minutes, but yesterday his morning nap was 1 hour and 50 minutes long!!! I. Could. Not. Believe. It. It was so much easier to do Nadia's schoolwork with her, and I also got a lot more cleaning done than I usually get done in the morning. I was thinking he might take a shorter than usual afternoon nap. His afternoon nap rarely exceeds 60 minutes, but yesterday his afternoon nap was 90 minutes long. WOOHOO! I don't think he's had two good naps on the same day in five months. Even if he did this once a week, it would be a big help to me.

2. I am starting to feel better. Hopefully next Thursday I'll be able to say that we are ALL healthy.

3. Ian's puzzle skills have improved so much that I have taken all the 24 piece jigsaw puzzles to the basement. I'll bring them back up when Oliver is ready for that size, but Ian is now doing ones that have at least 48 pieces all by himself. Nadia does puzzles that have at least 100 pieces.

4. The kids are really enjoying the iPad, and they are learning a lot at the same time. Bestappsforkids.com and Smartappsforkids.com are two great websites for learning about free apps.

5. Ian and Nadia like meatloaf. Unfortunately Paul won't eat meatloaf, but I'm happy to find something that the kids will eat with me. Nadia likes it without ketchup, and Ian likes it with massive amounts of ketchup. They are also making great progress with eating the following vegetables: green beans, peas, carrots, and corn. Nadia has really been into apples lately.

6. I came up with a solution for the gymnastics situation. It was a waste of money to pay for Ian to be in the class, and I couldn't envision trying to keep both boys entertained for a full hour during Nadia's class. I was going to have her take a break until early January, but I signed her up for a class on Thursdays from 4:15-5:15, and I'm going to take the boys to the library during her class (the library is very close to the gym). I won't be able to watch her, but I really wouldn't have been able to watch her if I was entertaining her brothers. The co-ops are ending, her last soccer game is on Saturday, and basketball won't start until early January. I wanted her to still have at least one "athletic" activity a week.

7. I read a really great book (Beloved Daughter) recently on the Kindle (Amazon had it for free recently). It was heartbreaking as it was about the mistreatment of Christians in North Korea, but it was a very gripping story. I look forward to reading other books in the series. We also saw a good movie lately (42) about Jackie Robinson.

Loose Tooth!

Nadia was extremely excited today when I confirmed that one of her teeth is loose. She was hoping it would fall out today, but it's not anywhere close to falling out yet. I said if she keeps eating an apple at lunch each day, that will help loosen that tooth. She can't wait to lose her first tooth!! Yet another sign that my little girl is growing up way too fast.

One of the advantages of living in Amish country is that the kids see horses all the time.

 If I put Oliver at the top of a slide sitting on his bottom, he immediately flips himself over so that he can go down on his belly. This is the ONLY way he wants to go down the slides. As long as he goes feet first, I'm fine with that although he'd be more photogenic if his face was showing. All three kids have been unique when it comes to the slide. Nadia loved to go down the slide at this age (sitting on her bottom). Ian was terrified of the slide, and it took a long time for him to work up the courage to go down without me holding his hand. Oliver loves the slide but prefers to go down on his belly. The one thing they have in common is that all three of them tried to climb up the slide.

This boy loves to wave (what he is doing in this picture in case it's not obvious). He seems to take after his sister in being a friendly little guy as he has started waving at other kids at the playground without any prompting from me. Also, he said his first two word phrase recently when he said to Paul, "Hi Daddy."

The last 5 days

When Ian came down with pink eye nine days ago, we went into "stay at home" mode. We skipped the co-op, only Nadia went to church last Sunday, I didn't go to handbell choir rehearsal last Monday night, and we didn't go to ladies Bible study last Tuesday. Life started to return to normal for the kids on Wednesday when they went to AWANA, and we did go to our two co-ops on Thursday and Friday morning. Oliver and Ian have gotten over their pink eye. Nadia and Ian seem to be  healthy again.

Oliver still has a cough, but his nose isn't running as much. Paul and I feel lousy. We both have really sore throats, runny noses, earaches, etc. I've had a fever. Paul has been coughing up a lung. We all want to get healthy in time to celebrate Paul's mom's birthday with her in a couple of weeks. Nadia had her next to last soccer game yesterday morning, and it was her second best ever performance. She again came VERY close to scoring a goal. We were proud of her. Another child's grandparent came up to us and commented on how much Nadia has improved. She's by no means the best player on the team, but she is a much bigger asset to her team than she was during her first season in the spring.

I had eight children in my 3rd-5th grade Sunday School class this morning (more than usual). The church's children's choir used to practice on Wednesday night, but they moved it to 10:00-10:25 on Sunday mornings so Nadia participated in the King's Kids choir for the first time today (in between Sunday School and church). Last week (when I wasn't there) she attended Super Church for the first time (the children's church program for kids in K-5th grade), and I think she was disappointed that I didn't let her go today, but I decided when our kids are in Kindergarten they will start attending the worship service with me.

We had lunch at church, and all three kids did a good job! Then we picked up Paul at home and headed to Williamsport to see a production of Rumpelstiltskin. It was very well done, and the kids (even Oliver!) paid attention and enjoyed it. I look forward to the day when Nadia is old enough to be on the stage of something like that. Then we came home, and I was able to watch my team win. Normally I would feel bummed about a 2-4 record, but after starting out 0-4, a 2-4 record seems much better. It's all a matter of perspective. Hopefully the Giants can end their 6 game losing streak tomorrow night.

Paul had his second peer observation on Wednesday night. He wasn't given any warning this time. I've submitted seven applications for him thus far, and I'm hoping to finish four more over the next few days. Those eleven applications are going to schools in PA (1), FL (2), SC (2), VA (1), NJ (1), IN (1), GA (1), and OH (2). I hoping that it won't take 88 applications this time around, and more importantly I'm praying for a tenure track job offer so we don't have to keep applying every year.

Last night we went on a date. Part of it included a stop at Rite Aid to buy Nyquil, Dayquil, cough drops, etc. We would have enjoyed it even more if we had been feeling better, but it still was nice to get out (just the two of us) for the first time in two months. A woman from our church who is a senior pre-med major babysat the kids for three hours. It was the first time in  more than a year that we paid a babysitter. The kids seemed to enjoy her. We'd like to get back in the habit of going out once a month, which we haven't been doing the last 17 months.

The reason for my lack of posting lately has been due to how I've been feeling emotionally. This miscarriage has hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. A woman at church today told me of a lady she once knew who had 11 children. She had a miscarriage in between her 10th and 11th child, and she said many couldn't believe she was upset about that miscarriage since she already had 10 children at home. The woman replied that she loved each child very much from the start. Having other children doesn't mean you don't grieve the loss of a child.

For me, the first two miscarriages were still harder since we had no children and wondered if we would ever have any, but the difference in emotional pain between those and this one is not as large as I thought it would be. While I was in the hospital during Oliver's pregnancy, I remember thinking that if the FET didn't result in a viable pregnancy, I would feel both sad and also a sense of relief as I dreaded the idea of being pregnant again. In reality, I haven't felt any relief. I've only felt sad.

Part of me feels like we need to try one more time asap (since I'm 41 years old), but actually I can't bring myself to go through another ivf cycle (and Paul would likely think I was insane for even contemplating it). If we hadn't ever pursued adoption before, I would be asking Paul to consider that, but I can't even think about doing our fourth home study, and I don't think we could afford it with me being a stay-at-home mom now. I thought over the past 14 months that I was completely adjusted to the idea that our family was complete, but I have discovered that actually I had been very aware of that frozen embryo that whole time. All the "lasts" didn't hit me as hard along the way because I didn't know at the time that it was the last time I'd nurse a baby, buy newborn size clothing, have people congratulate me on a pregnancy, feel a baby kick within me, wait for the ultrasound to find out the gender, cuddle my own tiny infant, etc. Now that I know Oliver will always be our youngest child, I find myself wanting even more to really savor every moment. As a silly example, he has a pair of brown dress shoes that used to be Ian's, but he doesn't have a pair of black dress shoes. Usually I'd think it frivolous for a 14 month old boy to own two pairs of dress shoes, but I have decided to buy him a pair of black dress shoes for Sundays. I won't ever be buying size 4 shoes again (at least not for a child of mine). Now is the time to do so. It's emotionally harder to sort through Oliver and Nadia's clothing when they outgrow things as I'm giving almost everything away, but the upside is that there is less clutter in our basement now that I know to only save Ian's things for Oliver.

I took two videos yesterday. Neither one is anything to write home about, but I figure their grandmas will enjoy seeing them. Nadia is really making great progress with her reading skills! She completed the Level 1 reading program and has started Level 2. Paul was impressed that she could correctly identify closed versus open syllables (we've started working on long vowels), as he didn't know what I was talking about at first. She also can correctly identify how many syllables a word has (from 1-4 syllables). We need to keep working on Ian's verses, but I will say that the new version of the Cubbies book is a lot harder (longer verses) than when Nadia did it two years ago. So there you have it, two videos, eleven pictures, and a lengthy post to make up for my lack of posting the past few days.

Foto Friday