New feeding plan

We had reached a fairly happy place with feeding Ian until a few months ago when Paul decided that Ian should be feeding himself by the time he turned four years old. At first I started alternating bites (I'd feed him a bite and then he'd feed himself a bite), and then Paul didn't want me to feed him any bites so the compromise then was that I'd get the food on the utensil, and Ian had to put in his mouth. Then Paul wanted him to also stab the food with his fork or scoop it with his spoon. Each time we took one of these steps, the time it took him to eat a meal greatly increased, and there also became more meals that Ian wouldn't eat anything, whereas if I fed him I could get him to eat almost anything. He did make some progress during this time, particularly with feeding himself yogurt at lunch and cereal at breakfast. He made the biggest progress with eating cereal in Maryland over Christmas. Dinner has been the main problem. It typically was taking 2-3 hours unless we had pancakes, pizza, or fish sticks. I was burned out from the constant reminders to take a bite and such. On January 8 I sent an email to Dr. Williams, the psychologist who is the head of the Hershey feeding team, and he wrote me back the next day.

I was thinking he might recommend using his "plate A, plate B" strategy that I saw him use with kids in the clinic who were able to eat but were very picky eaters. That method entails serving the child two plates of food at every meal. You put big bites of foods the child likes on the one plate and tiny (pea sized) bites of a food the child doesn't like on the other plate (he refers to these as novel foods). The kids have to alternate taking bites from each plate. That's not what he suggested. He said that if I am serving a "novel" food, that I can get the food on the utensil for Ian, but he needs to feed himself. Meal times may not exceed 45 minutes. The exception would be that if there is a food he has not taken any bites of yet, then he must have one tiny bite of it before he can get down. He said we are not to give ANY verbal reminders - just prepare the utensil, and if he takes a bite of a novel food, then we give him one incentive (ex. one M&M). The first night went great. We still gave verbal reminders, but with me stabbing the food onto the fork, he ate it within 45 minutes. Over the past several days dinner has gotten longer and longer again (90 minutes on Wednesday night for example).

Last night Paul and I decided to fully implement Dr. Williams' suggestions. This meant that yesterday he ate nothing for 45 minutes and then ate two bites (one of the casserole and one of vegetables) and then got down. I emailed him this morning to ask for clarification as to whether Ian was supposed to eat his dinner this morning or have cereal. In the past, we always made Nadia and Ian eat dinner at breakfast if they didn't eat it at dinner the night before. He said as long as he had the two bites, that was enough, and he could have cereal for breakfast. Shortening meal times will be easy for me to do. Giving him incentives is also not a problem, although Oliver also wants them. The hardest things for me to change are #1 not reminding him to take a bite (although I am very happy to stop doing this, it's quite a strong habit right now) and #2 not requiring him to eventually eat the food (aside from two tiny bites). I will say that tonight he came close to finishing in 45 minutes, and he actually burst into tears when I took away his food, which was a shock as it was the same food he didn't eat any of last night. He told me he wanted to finish. I reminded him that he had to finish in 45 minutes. He was crying because he really wanted a cookie for dessert, and I won't let him have dessert unless he finishes his food. Previously he wouldn't be allowed to watch tv, use the iPad, etc. unless he had eaten. In light of these new guidelines, those consequences are no longer going to be used. I am wondering how this is going to work in the long run, as Ian usually has no problems with skipping a meal. I can see him only eating dinner a couple of times a week, but this is what Dr. Williams does for a living, and what we were doing was not working. It's worth giving it a try. I imagine at some point he'll want Ian to get the food on the utensil himself, even with "novel" foods. Getting Ian to eat is generally the most stressful part of my week. I am hoping that this new strategy will make dinner time more enjoyable at our house. Even with a 103 degree fever today, Oliver is still our best eater. He loved the split pea and ham soup I made yesterday! I hope his fever goes away ASAP! The pediatrician's office said to bring him in Monday if his fever hasn't gone away by then.

Thankful Thursday

1. Last Friday I had my first mammogram. Paul and I had physicals the end of December, and I was told then that I really should get one as you're supposed to start having them every year once you turn 40, and I'll be 42 in 3 months, and I had never had one. On Monday I received a phone call saying the results were normal. YAY! I highly doubt I will have one every single year. I am good about going to the dentist twice a year and to the eye doctor once every two years, but I am not as faithful as is recommended for things like physicals, pap smears, etc. I'm sure I'll have another mammogram at some point, but I don't think I'll make it an annual experience.

 2. Paul had another phone interview on Friday. It was his fourth interview for a job for 2014. We continue to pray that the Lord will provide him with another job since this one will end in early August.

3. Paul's team (Leopards) had their first basketball practice last Friday. Another dad volunteered to help Paul out, and this man has coached before (at the high school level). Paul feels like the other dad should be the head coach instead of him, but he's very thankful for his assistance! The other dad doesn't want to lead the devotional/Bible memory time of the practices; Paul will be in charge of that part.

4. Except for Oliver, all of us are much healthier than we have been the past two weeks. Hopefully we'll all be totally healthy by next Thursday. Oliver's fever broke late this morning. Hopefully it will stay away. I really want him to be healthy enough to have the surgery on February 12!

5. Paul and I went on a date on Tuesday night! We hadn't been on a date for three months, so it was greatly appreciated. The pastor's youngest daughter (who is a senior in HS) watched our kids for three hours so we could go shopping and have dinner at Cracker Barrel. In December we discovered that Paul's black dress shoes were literally disintegrating. On Tuesday we planned to buy Paul two new pairs of shoes (one pair of sneakers and one pair of dress shoes) but we only had time to get the dress shoes as it took longer than expected to order a new pair of glasses for him at Sears. We had other things on our list that we didn't have time for. I guess we need to start planning on four hour dates rather than three hour dates. Our dates are rather utilitarian in nature rather than very romantic, but they are still appreciated. I would like to try out a new indoor miniature golf (glow in the dark) course sometime this year.

6. On Sunday I sang with the choir. This meant that Nadia and Ian were sitting in the pew by themselves while I sang the anthem. I was definitely distracted while singing because I was worried a bit about what might be happening in the pew. Ian was the one who worried me. The kids did great! Nadia had her arm around her brother's shoulder, and they were very well behaved. Whew.

7. Paul's mom had a doctor appointment at the hospital yesterday (which is half-way between their house and ours) so they made an impromptu visit and took Nadia and Ian to McDonald's for three hours. I got a lot of housework done with only having one child at home, especially since Oliver napped for 90 minutes of the time they were gone.

8. Paul took Nadia and Ian to a program about snowy owls at a state park this morning. It has been so nice to have him home the past 6 weeks. We're going to miss him when the spring semester begins on Tuesday.

9. Oliver's vocabulary has really been exploding over the past week! Yesterday he said the word Grandma several times (very clearly!). He was very distressed that Grandma couldn't hold him (we didn't want her to get sick). Once today he told me "want it."

10. Paul's mom has been able to stay out of the hospital for since Thanksgiving Day. We are very thankful that she's been doing much better lately.

11. Wendy took the fabulous picture of my three kiddos (top of the post) in December in Maryland. I know from experience that it's not easy to get a pic with all three of them smiling and looking in the right direction at the same time!

12. Nadia has really been enjoying the Liberty Kid's DVDs. Paul (a huge history buff) is loving the fact that she's wanting to learn about the American Revolution. I paid $5.99 on Amazon for the set of 4 DVD's which includes 40 episodes of the show that was aired in the late 90's. We've just started the second DVD. What a bargain! I am sure we will watch them again in the future when the kids are older. They are really well done (Walter Cronkite does the voice of Benjamin Franklin, Michael Douglas as Patrick Henry, Dustin Hoffman as Benedict Arnold, etc.).

13. The kids have also really been enjoying the first two Imagination Station books (Adventures in Odyssey) and again Paul loves it because the first one took place in Greenland (Vikings) and the second one takes place in Rome. I gave books 1-3 to Nadia as one of her Christmas gifts. It won't be too long until she'll be able to read those chapter books herself, as they are at the 2nd grade reading level, and I think she'll be at that reading level within a few months.

14. A couple of FB friends had recommended the Slugs and Bugs cd's. I finally bought two of them. They are really well done!! I greatly prefer them over VeggieTale cd's. I particularly like the "Sing the Bible" one because the lyrics are all straight from Scripture, which is a great way to memorize more of God's Word. We already own Steve Green's "Hide 'em in your heart" cd's and some of Max Lucado's Hermie & Friends Scripture memory cd's.

15. We are very thankful for all the wonderful gifts we received at Christmas! Ian would wear his new "Big Brother" shirt every single day if I let him. He has been wearing it at least twice a week as it is. Yesterday I mailed out six thank you letters that Nadia wrote. Next time I am going to require her to write at least three sentences for each one. I also scanned and emailed two additional ones (to Brazil and Turkey). Next year I hope Ian is able to write some very simple thank you notes!

16. A couple of weeks ago I bought two gingerbread kits at CVS when they were 75% off. We did them this evening as our "family fun" night activity for the week. The kids had fun!

Sick again

Oliver was rather fussy this morning. I felt his gums and discovered he's teething. His front two teeth (top jaw) are finally coming in. I thought this was the reason he was fussy, but it turns out he also had a high fever. He didn't eat much breakfast, and then he threw up his entire lunch shortly before his afternoon nap. His naps totaled 3.5 hours today, which is longer than usual. I hope he is feeling better tomorrow, and I hope the rest of us don't get sick again. I've had a slight fever again today as well. My throat still isn't back to normal, but I did go to choir rehearsal this evening. I couldn't sing everything, but it was great to be in the choir again after a seven month break. I do love singing in my church's choir!

On the way to choir I signed Nadia up for the spring soccer season. Paul agreed to serve as an assistant coach. We figured if he volunteered to do this we could guarantee her team wouldn't be practicing on Wednesdays at 6pm (during AWANA) since he'll have some say as to when the practices are held. He never played on a soccer team, but after watching Nadia do two seasons of soccer last year, he feels like he could be an assistant coach. Ian will be old enough to join a team in the fall!

First two sentences!

Oliver's four favorite words are "mama," "dada", "yes," and "eh" (the sound he makes when he points to whatever he wants). I have found it interesting that he says "yes" or "yeah" rather often and thus far hasn't said the word "no." I'm sure it won't be long until that word makes it into his expressive vocabulary. The last few months the only time he had put two words together was to say things like "hi mama" or "bye bye dada." Today out of the blue he said two complete sentences! Usually when he wakes up in the morning I go and get him from the crib and then bring him into our bed and snuggle with him for a few minutes before we go down and have breakfast. This morning I went and got him and then immediately passed him to Paul because I needed to use the bathroom. Paul was disoriented because he started hearing "I want my mama," and he thought it had to be Ian because Oliver hasn't been talking in complete sentences, but then he realized it was in fact Oliver. I came back into the room and heard the third time he screamed "I want my mama." I couldn't believe it, and Paul and Nadia told me he had said it three times in a row. Paul was proud but also had his feelings hurt a little that Oliver was so distressed at my brief absence. I was at the periodontist when it was time to put the kids down for naps/quiet time at 1pm. When Paul was tucking Ian in and said "I love you" to Ian, Oliver also said "I love you." Whether he was directing them to Ian or Paul, they are words that melt a parent's heart!

The urology office called me today to reschedule his surgery for February 12. Paul won't be able to go with me as that is a Wednesday, and he teaches on Wednesdays. They said we'll have to arrive much earlier that day because he's only operating in the morning that day (half-day) compared to he was scheduled for a full day in the OR last week. Oliver's 18 month check-up had been scheduled for the 14th, but I called today and moved it to the 10th. First, I didn't want him to get shots and such two days after having major surgery, and second, I wanted a pediatrician to listen to his lungs and declare him healthy to avoid another wasted trip to Philadelphia and back. Hopefully the next time we go out there he really will have his surgery.

Thankful Thursday

1. I'm grateful that my sister Wendy and her family made it safely back to Chicago last weekend. I am also glad that my brother, Maurice, made it safely back to Brazil. They almost diverted his flight because he was so sick on the flight, and he was greeted with a police escort off the plane once they landed in Brazil. Poor guy!!

2. My parents and Yvonne seem to have escaped the bug. Andrew, Paul, and Nadia had very mild cases of it. Oliver's fever came back this evening. Poor baby! Ian and Nadia are still coughing. Over the course of the day today, my voice drastically improved! I think it might be back to normal tomorrow. I didn't go to choir rehearsal last night because I couldn't sing. I felt so lost when I was rocking Oliver for his naps and bedtime, as I always sing to him. The things we take for granted! I was able to sing to him this evening! My singing voice isn't normal yet, but at least I can sing again! I'm hoping next Thursday I can report that we're all healthy again.

3. The kids rarely get to play with any cousins. I wish we didn't have to go at least a year in between visits, but it was very special to watch them playing together from December 26- January 3. When it was just the Benners and Kennedys, Nadia mostly played with Adam or Rachel. Ian mostly played by himself. Those days they didn't have any screen time (tv or tablets). When the Towfighis arrived, Nadia wanted to imitate Jenna (age 11). The girls shared a bedroom, and they would both come down to breakfast after they got dressed and made their beds. Nadia wanted to sit beside Jenna at the kitchen table, and she wanted to eat whatever cereal Jenna had picked. It was like having a big sister for a few days. My heart broke a little, as I was reminded that she'll never have a sister. Nadia mostly played with Andrew and Joshua. Although Nadia never was handed a tablet to play during that 9 day span (I let Ian play it once because he was sick), both kids were definitely watching their cousins play one of their four tablets at many points in time. I think there were at least six tablets in the house at one time, which amused me because the last time we were together (4 years ago) there weren't any! Technology is changing at a rapid pace. Ian did play with his cousins some, but he was very ready to go home at the end whereas Nadia kept begging us to stay longer. Nadia was so surprised when I told her yesterday that the Towfighis were still at Grandma's house (they fly back tomorrow). She couldn't understand why we were up here if they were still there. I explained that Uncle Joe's family was spending time with them this week.

4. The last several days were really bad with getting Ian to eat. I sent an email to Dr. Williams (feeding psychologist) who wrote me back today. Dinner went SO much better tonight. He ate tuna noodle casserole and carrots in 45 minutes! He was actually able to have some dessert for the first time this week (a brownie). I am very thankful to have a new plan of action.

5. Paul and I had eye doctor appointments today. We go once every two years. The eye doctor was amazed at how good Paul's vision is considering he has kerakatonus. My prescription hadn't changed in the last two years except that the astigmatism in my left eye got worse. I told the eye doctor that I can read with the contacts I received 6 years ago or with my eyeglasses, but that I have trouble reading with the contacts I received 4 years ago. It turns out I have reached "the age" when reading has started to be a problem for my aging eyes. Lovely. She gave me a bunch of choices such as bifocal contact lenses, reading glasses, etc. The option I'm experimenting with now is to lower the prescription on my right eye (make it a little blurrier for seeing far away but that is supposed to make me be able to read with them on). I'm going to return in two weeks to see if these are "the ones" or not. Paul is older than me, and his vision in general is worse than mine, but it looks like I'll be the one needing reading glasses first. You know you're middle aged when...... She said it usually levels out by the age of 55.

6. There have been a BUNCH of great free books on Amazon lately for the Kindle (ex. many by Beth Moore). I have decided to take a break from playing Words with Friends and spend more time reading. I also received two books on home schooling from Yvonne that I want to read! I read the first five chapters of To Live is Christ (about the Apostle Paul) so far today.

7. Since my throat has been too sore/hoarse for me to read, Paul has been reading Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle to the kids. They finished the last one today. Paul is excited that they're starting a book about Vikings tomorrow!

8. On Tuesday Nadia and I did a thorough job of cleaning her room. Many things left the room to be donated for others (such as costumes she has outgrown). Her room still looks great as of today. I hope she keeps it this way!

9. Nadia is REALLY taking off with reading these days. Tonight she was the one to read our Bible story at bed time. We used the first grade Bible reader from My Father's World curriculum.

10. Aside from watching Toy Story once this week, the kids have only been watching educational dvds - Liberty Kids (about early American history around the time of the Revolution) or Buck Denver's DVD about the book of Acts (a Christmas gift the kids received).

11. I'm very thankful for our nice warm house. It's been VERY cold lately. We decided we aren't going to apply for that job in Michigan. BRRR! I've submitted twenty applications thus far.

12. Last night while Nadia and Ian were at AWANA Paul and I went through a box of computer stuff (manuals, CD's, etc.) We threw away most of it as they were from the late 90's. Purging stuff we don't need always puts a smile on my face, and previously when I had tried to get Paul to part with these cd's he had been unwilling to do so. Progress! I am hoping we can get through a few more piles of stuff before the spring semester starts.

17 Months Old!

Over the past few weeks Oliver has been increasing how many steps he will take at a time. He started with 2-3 steps, then increased to 5 steps, and more recently started taking more than 5 steps at a time. He'd revert to crawling if he fell down when walking. I declared him to be officially walking when he started getting back up and walking after he fell down. He still crawls some. He hasn't totally switched to walking yet, but the tide is turning in that direction! I am glad I didn't accept the referral for physical therapy two months ago. I took these videos at my parents' house on Paul's birthday.

Over the past month he also got one more molar, which means he currently has six teeth. We're also starting to really work with him on responding to the word "no." In particular we're working on NOT opening the trash can in the kitchen. He learned how to open it and likes to remove the contents. Lovely. He lost about half a pound over the past month. I imagine he lost the weight over the past week between being sick and not being allowed to eat in preparation for the surgery that didn't take place yesterday.

He keeps adding a new word here and there to his vocabulary. Two of the newest ones are "cat" (it surprised us that he said cat rather than kitty in reference to my mom's geriatric cat) and "that" (not pronounced 100% correctly but it's obvious he is trying to say the word "that"). Hands down the word he says the most often is "mama." I heard it an awful lot yesterday in the car on the way to the hospital and back. He probably was thinking "mama, why won't you feed me?" and "mama, why are you making me sit in this car seat for 7 hours?".

Already had one sock off and was working on taking the second off!

He has now reached the stage of enjoying putting objects into containers. This means he has begun to help some with cleaning! Of course he does FAR more destroying than picking things up. His favorite toys from Christmas would include the sock monkey car that Great Gram gave Ian (which happens to be by far my least favorite toy that they received as the song it plays is loud and annoying), the color fish toy that Aunt Wendy gave him, and the race track that my parents gave Ian. I wish I had a video of him watching the cars race. He could not be more excited!

Now we need to get the boy healthy so he can have his surgery rescheduled as I'd really like to potty train him in August, if possible, but he can't be potty trained until the repair surgery or surgeries are completed.

They measured his height and weight at CHOP yesterday while he was standing up (far more accurate height measurement than how they do it at the Peds), but I didn't see the results. Bummer.

Ian's funny facial expression is due to the fact that I snapped this photo in the middle of him giving Oliver a kiss!

Much ado about nothing

Three youngest cousins; Grace was the only one feeling well

Oliver and I were gone for 10 hours today, but not much was accomplished since the anesthesiologist didn't like the sound of his lungs. They had me give him a nebulizer treatment to see if that would do the trick, but the verdict was the surgery needs to be rescheduled due to wheezing. The good news was that the surgeon was pleased with the effects of the testosterone shots. He thinks that they not only enlarged but also straightened his penis. He says that even if the volume goes down some in light of delaying the surgery, we do not

Grace and Julianna are only 6 weeks apart in age. Grace is the youngest.

need to give him any more shots. I will be praying all the more fervently that it will only take one surgery (Ian's took two and Dr. Canning presumes Oliver's will probably take two) because if Paul is working in another state in August (such as FL) then we won't be returning to CHOP for the second stage surgery. At least six months have to pass between surgeries. And even if we are still in or near PA, we have no idea what health insurance we'll have after June.

Here are some random observations and lessons learned today:

Paul and Oliver napping on Saturday

 1. If I leave the house before Paul gets up, the bed will not be made. If I find an unmade bed at 5pm, I find myself compelled to make it even though it's getting closer to the time we'll be going to bed.

2. It is very hard to wipe your baby's nose while driving a car.

3. Although MapQuest says it takes 2hr and 45 minutes from our house to CHOP, you should allow for at least 3hr and 45 minutes because the traffic on 76 in Philadelphia often moves at a pace around 5mph. We were 25 minutes late today even though I allowed 3hr 10 min.

Oliver loves to climb into the dishwasher or dryer.

4. Don't pay your parking at the machine located near the elevators. I was charged $9.50 even though I had my slip validated. If I hadn't used the machine (I thought it was mandatory to use them), I would only have paid $3 for parking.

5. If you get off the turnpike and get back on, your total toll bill will be higher even though you are on the toll road the same amount of miles. On the way down we never got off and it cost $7.80, but on the way back I stopped for a VERY, VERY late lunch and the two separate toll charges added up to $8.45 for our return trip.

My laundry buddy!

6. If your child is scheduled to have surgery in the near future, do NOT let them be around sick children. I am embarrassed to admit the thought NEVER crossed my mind while I saw my nieces and nephews (and brother-in-law) dropping like flies. I only connected the dots after Oliver got sick. The trip today cost us $71.66 and was unpleasant for both of us. Oliver hates being in a car seat and he was in one for seven hours today. He also was not very happy at the hospital because he was HUNGRY. I am not a fan of being in the car that long either. I'm pooped.  I am definitely not up for mother of the year this year that is for sure!

7. Oliver hates having a nebulizer treatment. Ian and Nadia have never had one. I hope it's a long time before Oliver ever has another one as it was sheer torture for both of us.

8. If a child is scheduled for surgery and develops a cough, I will just call and tell them the surgery needs to be postponed. That was my gut instinct last week. Had I gone with that, we wouldn't have gone through all we did today.

9. I should have brought a stroller. I had no problems until I went to get lunch with Oliver. I thought I'd be alone when I got my lunch. I walked into the cafeteria, picked up a jug of milk, and couldn't envision how I was going to carry a tray with food and drinks while holding a 23 pound child who would be grabbing at whatever I was holding. I only bought the milk.

10. I don't function well if my lunch is delayed a few hours. I had planned to grab lunch while he was in the operating room. No food or drink is allowed in the surgery reception area or the pre-op area, which is where we were until 1pm. As soon as they said his surgery was cancelled, I put on our jackets and headed toward the cafeteria to buy my hungry baby and I some food and drink. I had an English muffin and banana at 6:30am but nothing to drink because I didn't want to have to go to the bathroom on the way there. Oliver hadn't had anything since his 7am apple juice. As mentioned above, I only bought milk for Oliver's sippy cup. I headed out to the parking garage and overpaid for my parking ticket and then proceeded to drive around level B of the parking garage a few times until the neurons in my brain finally grasped the concept that we would be there ALL day if we kept this up. I was just not functioning well. Thankfully I did manage to find a way out of that garage, but I didn't know how to find a place to eat, and Oliver fell asleep and I didn't want to wake him up so I wanted a drive-thru. Eventually I just took a random exit off of the turnpike. I accidently drove past a Dunkin Donuts (with a drive-thru) which I would have preferred had I actually seen it, but I ended up going inside a gas station that had a Subway inside. I got Oliver a pack of peanut butter crackers and myself a meatball sub.

11. I am sick of fast food right now. We had more than usual in MD (Chic-Fil-A, pizza twice, McDonald's) and then on Saturday I made fish sticks and fries at home because I was feeling so lousy, and we had more of those yesterday. After more fast food today, I need a long break from any pizza, burgers, fries, nuggets, fish sticks, etc.

12. The next time Oliver and I make the trek to Philadelphia, I must bring WAY more toys for him to play with in the car.

13. Getting worried about something in the future is really pointless. All those nerves I had about his surgery today were over nothing.

14. You can be in a hospital for 2.5 hours before they decide a surgery can't  be completed. We spent 95 minutes in the waiting room and one hour in a pre-op room. He was weighed and measured shortly after we arrived, and then nothing else happened for almost 90 minutes. This was a challenging time because he made it very clear to me that he wanted his sippy cup ASAP. Then he was changed into a hospital gown, blood pressure taken, etc. The next thing would have been to give him the Versed, but that is when the plans were changed to the nebulizer treatment and then the surgery was cancelled.

15. I am really, really ready to get back into a routine. Our last "normal" day was December 23. I need to get back in gear with my routines (Motivated Mom chores and such) and home schooling. I haven't been reading to the kids from our chapter book (in part because my throat is too sore), and I miss it! We are in the middle of a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle book, and then we already have four books sitting on the counter waiting to be read (The Magician's Nephew, Voyage with the Vikings, Attack at the Arena, and Peril in the Palace) that Nadia received for Christmas.

16. It is a very bad idea to leave the house without any cough drops when you have a bad cold. Ouch!

17. Daddies are great at playing with kids but not so great at accomplishing other tasks at the same time. I had repeatedly asked for ONE thing to be accomplished today in my absence - Nadia's room to be cleaned by Nadia and Daddy. It didn't happen. Well she and I will have to tackle it tomorrow or a bunch of her stuff is going to end up in the basement.

18. Paul asked me to pick up McD's for dinner for Nadia, Ian, and himself on the way home. I wasn't hungry due to my really late lunch at Subway. I learned that McD bags aren't very strong as it broke and the contents spilled all over the floor of the garage. Yes, that pretty much was how my day went today.

19. I brought the iPad with me as I planned to use it during the hours Oliver and I were separated during his surgery and the beginning part of his post-op recovery. I found out when I got home that this did not go over well with Paul, Nadia, or Ian. I will bring a book or my Kindle next time!

Forty-Four

Grandpa and Grace

Paul turned 44 years old two days ago! He drove back to Maryland in my mom's car on Thursday morning, and the Benners returned to Maryland from Virginia that afternoon. All twenty-two of us were together for about twenty-one hours, although I was in bed for eleven of those hours due to being really sick. Paul had a special birthday breakfast of Captain Crunch cereal. It's one of his three most favorite cereals, and I very rarely buy it. He had a very special birthday lunch as my dad took Paul, Maurice, and Joe to Outback Steakhouse. All four men really love steak! It was Maurice's last meal in the US, as he started his flights back to Brazil that evening. I was amazed he was able to enjoy eating steak, as Maurice had a root canal on Thursday. We were down to 15 people around the table for his birthday dinner, but that is still more than are usually with us to celebrate his birthday! We had spaghetti with meatballs, green beans with almonds, and garlic bread, which is definitely one of Paul's favorite meals. Yvonne made two delicious pies - cherry and blueberry. Paul had brought most of his birthday presents to Maryland, so he was able to open those on Friday morning. I gave him one last present yesterday morning (a Penn State sweatshirt). I had planned to make white chocolate macadamia nut cookies for his birthday; I had already purchased the nuts. I wasn't up for that task yesterday, but my fever is gone so I made his cookies today. Better late than never! I also made some brownies, and I told the kids that the cookies were only for Daddy.

Playing Uno

The drive home from 6:45-10:15pm wasn't the highlight of his birthday, but we were very grateful to be back in our own bedrooms that night. The previous night Ian slept in bed with us because his fever was so high, and Oliver's pack 'n play was in our room as well. I got almost no sleep that night between my very high fever, Ian's hot body kicking me, and an almost constant chorus of coughing between Ian, Oliver, and myself. I can say with assurance I have never been sicker on Paul's birthday (since I've known him). On New Year's Eve I unknowingly ate sausage in some spaghetti. I am allergic to sausage. It causes me to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Then on top of that I had a very high fever (I went to bed under my sheet, blanket, and comforter on Friday night wearing my winter coat and kept it on almost all night if that's any indication), very sore throat, headache, and cough. I had little voice on Friday and Saturday. Last night I went to bed at 7:30pm with an extra quilt instead of my winter coat, and I was in bed for eleven hours straight. Today my voice has started to come back, but now I sound like I could sing bass in a choir, although actually the thought of singing anything causes me to wince in pain. Friday was the last of the intestinal problems, and now I know to ask before eating any spaghetti to make sure there isn't any sausage in it.



Nadia and Rachel both have the same size 11.5 Dora sneakers!

Nadia and Paul both succumbed to the bug so we are all sick at the moment. Nadia and Paul didn't get the fever that Ian, Oliver, and I had. Paul only has a sore throat, but it doesn't hurt him to talk (yet anyhow). It felt like my throat was being ripped to shreds every time I had to utter a word yesterday. Nadia has a little bit of a cough and a runny nose. You can tell Oliver, Nadia, and I have been blowing our noses a lot because the skin around our noses is bright red. Oliver's nose is still a little runny, but the nurse in the anesthesia department on

Six kids enjoying an iPad app together

Friday said that as long as he didn't have a fever and his cough wasn't constant, his surgery wouldn't be rescheduled. Originally my parents planned to come up to watch Nadia and Ian tomorrow, but that was before they knew my sister and her family would be staying with them until January 10. Paul's parents volunteered to come instead, but I don't think Paul's mom should be near all these germs. I would feel horrible if she ended up back in the hospital because they spent the day with Nadia and Ian. The current plan is for Paul to stay at

Paul's birthday dinner!

home with Nadia and Ian, and I will take Oliver to Philadelphia. It's a three hour drive each way, and we'll probably be at the hospital for about eight hours. We're supposed to arrive by 10am. I plan to leave at 6:45am. He's allowed to have apple juice until 8am, and after that he can't have anything. Hopefully he'll take a nice long morning nap in the Prius on the way there. Prayers for a successful surgery are greatly appreciated. The best possible outcome would be an uneventful surgery in which Dr. Canning is able to complete the entire repair tomorrow (otherwise he'll need a second surgery in 6 months).

Paul and Oliver napping on Saturday

Normally I am in super charged mode when we get back from Christmas, but I couldn't move at my that pace yesterday due to being really sick. I did two loads of laundry, one load of dishes, unpacked our suitcases, went grocery shopping, and took almost all the Christmas decorations down to the basement yesterday. Today I finished putting away the Christmas decorations and our new gifts. I put a few things in the basement to make room for some of the new toys.

These three cousins each have two missing teeth

Ian loved snuggling with Grandma, especially when he wasn't feeling well.

Thankful Thursday

1. I am very thankful that we were able to extend our time in Maryland. It has been great to have extra time with my parents and Maurice.

2. We were not expecting to see my sister Yvonne and her family. It has been wonderful to be able to spend a week with them, especially as it had been four years since I had spent more than one hour with them (since I was in the hospital the last time they were in the US). Today there are 22 of us all under one roof since my sister, Wendy and her family got back from Virginia this afternoon and Paul came back to MD this morning.

3. Aside from being able to spend time with all three of my siblings, my parents, my two brother-in-laws, five nephews, and five nieces, the other wonderful aspect about being down here in Maryland was that I was only involved in getting Ian to eat one meal (dinner on Saturday night while my parents were at the airport getting the eight Towfighis). He made progress this week with using a spoon to eat a bowl of cereal with milk in the morning (ex. Kix), and he did an amazing job eating lasagna on Friday night.

He ate his lasagna at the same speed as everyone else at the table (first time this EVER happened for any type of pasta), and he asked for seconds (and ate them)!!! I was in shock. It helped that most of the meals were things he likes (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, pizza, and chicken nuggets), but he even ate some spaghetti on New Year's Eve because he wanted a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. Most of the time the most unpleasant and stressful part of my day revolves around getting Ian to eat so it was very nice to have a break from that for a few days. My sister who is an OT also showed us how to have him hold his fork (which has been part of his problem). She also has been showing me various other activities to do to help improve his fine motor skills and such. I'm hoping we'll see an improvement when we get back home because lately I have seriously wished the child had a feeding tube because I've been at my wits end with getting him to feed himself dinner in less than 2 hours.

4. I have enjoyed playing games with nieces and nephews. We've played Apples to Apples a few times, Uno, Connect Four, Life, Checkers, etc. Fun!!

5. Wendy's kids had lice that hadn't totally gone away when they were here, and it looks like we didn't get that from them (YAY). Five of Yvonne's kids and husband have a virus (fever, cough, headache, etc.), and Nadia and Paul have escaped that thus far. Unfortunately Oliver came down sick yesterday, and Ian and I came down sick today. In hind sight we should have left here on Monday. Please pray that Oliver will get better ASAP or his surgery that is scheduled to take place on Monday will have to be rescheduled.

6. Oliver is a brave little boy. Ian didn't start climbing through playland type things until he was three years old, but Oliver at 16 months old climbed to the very top of the structure at Chick-Fil-A yesterday and then went down the slide all by himself (going feet first on his belly). I was so proud of him! Nadia is proud of the fact that she mastered the pole in the basement for the first time this trip!

Joshua (age 6 3/4) pulled his second tooth on Tuesday night. He and Nadia are both missing their bottom two teeth!

Yvonne had Ian feed her dinner to practice his skills of using utensils. What a great help she has been!

Goals for 2014

Jenna (age 11) at McDonald's on Monday

Last year I made a really long list of goals for the year. This year I was determined to make a shorter list. Although the list might still seem a bit too long, it is definitely more focused. If I had to boil it down to one word, that would be TRADITIONS. I really want to focus on establishing our family traditions - how we celebrate holidays, etc. I have started to accumulate a list of traditions and want to come up with more ideas to add to this list throughout the year. I'm planning to read this book and hoping it gives me new ideas also. Because many of the things contained in that list aren't new, I am going to list a few that are specific goals for this year. I realize that some of these probably should fall under the category "habits" rather than "traditions," but I'm not going to worry about separating those.
1. Continue to tweak our daily routine. I want to find a specific time when we will work on Bible memory every day, when Nadia will practice her piano five days a week, and when I will have my quiet time every day.

2. I want to try making crepes, pies, and cheesecake this year. If I can succeed with the crepes and others like it, we'll add this to the breakfast for dinner rotation that already includes pancakes, waffles, and French toast. I also want to try some more pizza dough recipes until I find "the one" we can use regularly. We used to buy pizza more often, but now that we take turns picking where we eat or get food once a week, we haven't been buying pizza as often. All five of us love pizza so I'd like to make pizza once a week during the weeks that we don't buy pizza.

3. Continue to come up with more ways for the kids to help around the house. One example would be that I want to start having them clean up their toys twice a day. I shouldn't be the one doing this! Nadia and Ian put away their clean clothes after I do the laundry.

4. I want to start making a soup, chili, or stew once a week. This will mean trying many new recipes!

5. I want to start doing a craft or art project with the kids at least once a week. I need to pick a day and time to increase the chances that I stick with this plan. I also want to start perusing Pinterest at least once a week for craft and recipe ideas.

6. I want to start involving the kids more in my communication with our three sponsored children.

7. Work more on fleshing out the "special occasions" portion of the traditions list. I'd like to read this book, and hopefully I'll glean some ideas there. For example, we haven't done anything special for New Year's Eve or New Year's Day yet. Yesterday I bought an Elf on the Shelf kit (I got a boy) because they were 70% off at Target. I don't plan to emphasize the part about being good because he will make a report to Santa, but I think it will be fun to put him in a different location each night and have them find him the next morning. I hope they have fun with that next December.

8. Implement a plan for giving Nadia and Ian a small amount of money each week so they can start learning important financial skills.

9. Keep working with the kids at expanding their enjoyment of a wider variety of foods. I want to implement a policy this year that each person has a list of a few (still trying to determine how many) foods that are on their "no, thank you" list that they can decline. Everything else we each have to eat at least a little bit of it.

Oliver loves lasagna!

10. Five goals for Nadia - completely break her thumb sucking habit, eat vegetables without raisins, ride her bike without training wheels, sit in her chair during mealtimes (lately she has had trouble with this although it was never a problem when she was younger), and do a better job with making her bed and keeping her room neat

11. Six goals for Ian - feeding himself dinner in an hour or less, writing his uppercase letters, less fussing/crying throughout the day, buckle his own seat belt, swing himself, and play games with rules

12. Five goals for Oliver - walking, feeding himself with utensils instead of his fingers, responding to the word "no", potty trained, and talking more