No two years are identical, but 2013 really stands out in my mind as a very unique year for our family.
In January Paul defended his dissertation, which brought an
end to his frequent trips to Penn State that he had been making since August 2008. In May he graduated with his Ph.D. and formally brought an
end to his time as a student. We met in February 1997, and he started working on his Bachelor's degree in January 1998. He took a little break after we got married (August 2011) and took one year off (2005) after he completed his B.S. He was a FT grad student from January 2006 - January 2013. He's been a student for the vast majority of the time we've dated and been married (almost 17 years), but that chapter is now closed. I received my doctorate in December 2002. We are both done with earning formal degrees. Our mail could now be addressed Drs. Paul and Ruth Kennedy. Who would have thought that might happen 17 years ago? In late January he went back to working for his dad. He hadn't worked at Kennedy Concrete since December 2005.
I was the primary breadwinner for the first 12 years of our marriage, but that is no longer the case as I
resigned from my position as a tenured Associate Professor in January. Paul earned about $5,000 in 2006, and that was the least he ever earned in a year during our marriage. He earned $10-20,000 a year from 2007-2012. We have now traded places, and he is not only the primary but also the sole breadwinner for our family. I started babysitting when I was 12 years old (65 cents an hour). At the age 17 I started working at McDonald's and Peebles department store (around $4/hr). I worked at the department store until I graduated from college in 1992. After graduating from college I had a 20 year career in the field of education (teacher, principal, and professor). After earning an income of some sort for 28 years, 2013 was the first year I didn't receive any paychecks. There have been
many moments this year that I've come close to pursuing part-time employment as an adjunct professor, but I've decided I'm plenty busy right now. I would like to supervise student teachers again at some point in the future, but for now my plate is full with caring for three kids age five and under, cooking, cleaning, filling out job applications for Paul, home schooling, etc.
2013 has been the year of filling out
far more job applications than I filled out the rest of my life put together. I submitted 88 applications for Paul for jobs that began in either January or August, and I got a break from that task after Kutztown and Bloomsburg offered him jobs. Thus far I've submitted 19 applications for jobs that start in 2014. I am hoping and praying for a permanent job offer this time around so that filling out 100+ applications a year doesn't become an annual tradition for me. Aside from not enjoying the application and interview process, we'd love to put down more roots. Ironically, this is the first house that when we bought it, we knew it was just a temporary place for us to live. It's ironic because we've lived here for over 5 years, which is longer than we lived in our first two homes (which we didn't think would be short term situations). We are grateful for the teaching experience Paul is getting at Bloomsburg University this year and that we didn't have to move for this one year job. He taught 3 gen ed labs and one 3 hour lecture for non-majors this past semester. Next semester he's scheduled to teach the same three labs and a lecture on T/Th mornings for nursing majors. In the summer it looks like he will be teaching a lab during the first summer session and the second semester of general chemistry (for majors) in the second session. We have no idea where he'll be working next fall.
Although I haven't submitted any official paperwork because it's not required in PA until the child is eight years old, since Nadia was technically old enough to start Kindergarten in August, I consider this to be my
first year as a home schooling mom. I love it! I am so very grateful that Paul wanted me to do this. What a great idea he had! These days I spend about one hour doing school work with Nadia (math, handwriting, spelling, and reading) and about 5-10 minutes with Ian (reading). We started very gradually back in January and have gotten into a good routine now. We usually do school work during Oliver's morning nap (about 9-10am), and then Nadia gets to do the iPad after her work is done, and then I read picture books to the kids before lunch, chapter books during lunch, and picture books again before their 1pm nap/quiet times. Nadia and Ian both started reading this year. Nadia is 2/3 of the way through her Level 2 reading curriculum, half-way through her first grade math textbook, half-way through her 1st grade handwriting textbook, and 1/4 of the way through her Level 2 spelling book. This year we
began our tradition of reading chapter books. Their favorites this year were the ones about Ramona the pest, Pippi Longstocking, Dr. Doolittle, and Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. The kids are also learning a lot through various apps on the iPad, which we purchased in August. Oliver is very interested in the iPad, and there are apps out there for toddlers, but I don't think toddlers should have any screen time so I haven't installed any apps for him yet.
We visited
Magic Kingdom for the first time this year. Paul hadn't been to Disney in over 30 years. It was the first visit for all three of our kids. Nadia and Ian went to Sea World for the second time. If it were up to the kids, we'd return to Disney every single year. We plan to go there again, but we are not planning on making it an annual tradition. Paul's parents joined us for our last two vacations (Grand Cayman in May 2012 and Florida in May 2013) so we are planning on going somewhere with my parents in 2014. We've been inviting grandparents to join us since May 2009.
Oliver's weight more than doubled in 2013 (he now weighs 23lbs) as he went from nursing and bottles to solid food and sippy cups. Thankfully, he's a fabulous eater! He's learned how to sit, stand, crawl, and walk. He still crawls if he'd have to walk more than 5 steps and doesn't have anything to hold on to, but if it's a short distance he now walks independently. He's also learned to wave, clap his hands, do the touchdown signal, give a high five, and say about fifteen words.
Nadia learned how to swing herself on the swings, blow her nose (YAHOO!), was promoted from Cubbies to Sparks, was promoted to the K-2nd grade Sunday School class, played her first two seasons of soccer, did her first tap dance routine in a recital in June, took ballet/tap and gymnastics, took Level 1 swimming lessons, was in a t-ball class, attended a theatre camp, was in her second summer musical, participated in two weeks of VBS, learned to read and spell many words, learned to do simple addition and subtraction, learned to tell time (15 minute intervals), learned to count coins, and much more. She no longer attends Children's Church but rather stays in the sanctuary during the entire worship service. A couple of months ago she started participating in the King's Kids choir at church on Sunday mornings.
Ian learned how to dress and undress himself and go to the bathroom independently. He can now read three letter short vowel words. He took swimming lessons, participated in VBS for the first time, was in a t-ball class, took gymnastics, participated in a summer musical for the first time, and joined Cubbies in September. He's doing a great job with memorizing his Bible verses. 2013 will go down as the last year that Ian regularly took a nap. He still takes a nap some days, but he's currently learning how to have a quiet time in his room while Oliver takes his afternoon nap. Since he's not taking a nap as often as he used to, he is sleeping in later in the morning most days although he still does not sleep in as late as his sister. Ian made a lot of progress with eating this year, but we still have a way to go. The main issue at this point is getting him to feed himself his meal in a reasonable amount of time. He seems to have outgrown all of his food allergies, which is a huge answer to prayer. Ian also switched from drinking warm to cold milk this year.
I wore jeans more in 2013 than any year in my life. As a child I didn't wear jeans at all, and as an adult I haven't worn them very much most years. Due to losing weight again (after having Oliver) and not being employed for the first time in my life, I am now wearing jeans most of the time. I usually wear colored jeans. I now own eight pairs of jeans. Wow. For most of the past 20 years I have owned only one pair of jeans at a time. One reason I favor them is because I figure staying away from pants with elastic and sticking with pants that zip and button will force me to keep my weight in check.
This year also signaled the
end of our efforts to have another child. I underwent my fifth embryo transfer (second frozen embryo transfer) as we had one blastocyst that had been frozen since January 2012. It survived the thaw and resulted in a brief pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. Seeing those two lines on a hpt really stirred up my desire to try to have one last baby even though I am 41 years old and Oliver's pregnancy was extremely difficult. I asked Paul to consider doing a fourth egg retrieval, and last month he told me he would think about it. I don't think we will actually do it in light of our ages (soon we'll be 44 and 42 years old respectively). The miscarriage and the realization that we won't be having any more children has been harder for me to deal with than I thought it would be. Several days ago I was holding an almost six month old baby, and every fiber of my being was screaming that I would love to have another baby. I'm still working to come to grips with the fact that I'll never see two lines an another hpt, never have another pregnancy ultrasound, never feel another baby kick within me, never snuggle my newborn again, never nurse another baby again (although that little baby thought he might be able to get some milk from me), etc.
I hope that in 2014 I come to terms with this. I feel like my heart is being yanked from my chest when I am giving away the clothes Oliver and Nadia have outgrown. I hope it gets easier. The ivf statistics for age 41 and 42 are fine, but they totally fall off a cliff at age 43. I think as I get closer to age 43 I will realize that our time has passed. Currently I feel a sense of panic that we must start the ivf right NOW because we have such a small window left before trying to conceive will become impossible due to my age. I wish I could push a button, and it would take away my desire for one more baby. It certainly puts the trauma of 2012 in perspective. Most people would probably think that 10 weeks of bed rest (most of it in a hospital) plus 4 weeks in the NICU would be worse than experiencing a very early miscarriage, but I think the miscarriage is far worse. Oliver and I survived that experience. The baby I lost this year did not, and unlike after our first miscarriage (2005), we won't be trying again this time. The good news is that I have three precious children. I am extremely grateful for them.
I played hand bells for three months for the first time in five years, and I worked on honing my photography skills. I also improved quite a bit with playing Words with Friends (Scrabble). I teach a 3rd-5th grade Sunday School class six months a year, teach the Bible story at VBS, started teaching Nadia to play the piano recently, play my flute from time to time, and sing in my church's choir whenever Paul is able to be home on a Wednesday night. I am very thankful that 2013 involved far fewer doctor appointments, hospitalizations, and stays at Ronald McDonald Houses. After lagging behind in the world of technology (we still use flip phones and don't text), we bought our first Kindle and iPad this year and delved into the world of apps. I thought I would always prefer reading traditional books because screens are harder on my eyes, but I really love reading on my Kindle paperwhite. We shall see how many years it takes us to start texting or using our phones to go on the Internet. I'm looking forward to seeing all the ways that Ian, Nadia, and Oliver will grow and change in the next year and hoping that Paul gets a permanent job in 2014.
7. Work more on fleshing out the "special occasions" portion of the traditions list. I'd like to read this book, and hopefully I'll glean some ideas there. For example, we haven't done anything special for New Year's Eve or New Year's Day yet. Yesterday I bought an Elf on the Shelf kit (I got a boy) because they were 70% off at Target. I don't plan to emphasize the part about being good because he will make a report to Santa, but I think it will be fun to put him in a different location each night and have them find him the next morning. I hope they have fun with that next December.
I wore jeans more in 2013 than any year in my life. As a child I didn't wear jeans at all, and as an adult I haven't worn them very much most years. Due to losing weight again (after having Oliver) and not being employed for the first time in my life, I am now wearing jeans most of the time. I usually wear colored jeans. I now own eight pairs of jeans. Wow. For most of the past 20 years I have owned only one pair of jeans at a time. One reason I favor them is because I figure staying away from pants with elastic and sticking with pants that zip and button will force me to keep my weight in check.
This year also signaled the end of our efforts to have another child. I underwent my fifth embryo transfer (second frozen embryo transfer) as we had one blastocyst that had been frozen since January 2012. It survived the thaw and resulted in a brief pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. Seeing those two lines on a hpt really stirred up my desire to try to have one last baby even though I am 41 years old and Oliver's pregnancy was extremely difficult. I asked Paul to consider doing a fourth egg retrieval, and last month he told me he would think about it. I don't think we will actually do it in light of our ages (soon we'll be 44 and 42 years old respectively). The miscarriage and the realization that we won't be having any more children has been harder for me to deal with than I thought it would be. Several days ago I was holding an almost six month old baby, and every fiber of my being was screaming that I would love to have another baby. I'm still working to come to grips with the fact that I'll never see two lines an another hpt, never have another pregnancy ultrasound, never feel another baby kick within me, never snuggle my newborn again, never nurse another baby again (although that little baby thought he might be able to get some milk from me), etc. 
I hope that in 2014 I come to terms with this. I feel like my heart is being yanked from my chest when I am giving away the clothes Oliver and Nadia have outgrown. I hope it gets easier. The ivf statistics for age 41 and 42 are fine, but they totally fall off a cliff at age 43. I think as I get closer to age 43 I will realize that our time has passed. Currently I feel a sense of panic that we must start the ivf right NOW because we have such a small window left before trying to conceive will become impossible due to my age. I wish I could push a button, and it would take away my desire for one more baby. It certainly puts the trauma of 2012 in perspective. Most people would probably think that 10 weeks of bed rest (most of it in a hospital) plus 4 weeks in the NICU would be worse than experiencing a very early miscarriage, but I think the miscarriage is far worse. Oliver and I survived that experience. The baby I lost this year did not, and unlike after our first miscarriage (2005), we won't be trying again this time. The good news is that I have three precious children. I am extremely grateful for them.
