Letting Go

One thing that's been on my to do list for a few months has been to start selling some baby and maternity items. I have some set aside for a yard sale. I've never had a yard sale before, but I'm planning to have one this summer. Other stuff I had set aside to sell on eBay. I actually listed two items on Craigslist in November, but that didn't go anywhere. I think we live in too rural of an area for me to sell stuff on Craigslist. When I saw some of the items two ladies in my church had on their registries were toys that I had in the yard sale pile, I actually filled up two bags of toys (such as wrist rattles) and gave them to them. One of the women is Nadia's Sunday School teacher, and the other teaches the class that I'm going to take over in a couple of weeks. They're both expecting their first babies. One knows she's having a girl, and the other wants to be surprised. Paul's parents came up to visit today, and so I was able to work on listing some maternity clothes on eBay. I listed 28 items (in 12 different listings as I combined some items). I mostly listed my maternity skirts, pants, and shorts. I still have a lot of tops sitting in the basement.

It was really hard to do. I am proud of myself for not crying. Everytime I contemplated going down there and bringing up that box of maternity clothes I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I was tempted to just donate the whole box so that the process of passing the stuff on to someone else would be faster. Although I didn't find pregnancy to be a physically comfortable experience, I can say that with every fiber of my being I would be thrilled beyond belief to be pregnant one last time. It's really hard to let go of the desire to do ivf a third time. I am surprised at how hard it is. I really didn't expect the desire to be this strong. Whenever I feel sad that we're not doing ivf again, I try to remind myself of how I felt in the summer of 2007. Two children is a whole lot better than none!!