On a day like today I find myself really wanting this to continue. Meaning I wish Paul could continue to have a job that only required him to be away from home three days a week (and also for only 30 weeks a year). I also wish that I could continue to be a stay-at-home mom. I would absolutely love to teach one class a semester, but I have such mixed feelings about my upcoming job interview (to be the director of student teaching and field experiences). I have no control over what type of job Paul pursues, so that is out of the question. He will be switching to a job that will require him to be at work 6 and sometimes 7 days a week. It has been wonderful having him only working away from home three days a week for the past three years, but those days are almost over. As for whether I am going back to work FT or not, time will tell. Part of me really wants a job. I want to be able to afford to stay in this house. I want to be able to afford to go on a vacation once a year. When I think of the salary I used to make, I can quickly create a list of things I would like to spend money on such as some home improvement projects.
Nadia wants me to get the job. She says it's because #1 she wants to have more time with Daddy (she knows she'll see more of him if I get a job because then he'll stay at home when I am at work) and because she wants us to have more money so we can afford vacations and such. Ian doesn't want me to get a job. He says he just wants his mommy. Oliver is clueless about it all. I am really torn between the two. I loved being a professor for ten years, but right now my heart longs to stay at home with my kids. I will really miss them if I go back to work FT, but the salary would definitely be a blessing for the five of us. I also am not super keen on the idea of having a 45 minute commute (one way) to work, but it is feasible. I am going into this interview wanting to do my very best and hoping they will select me for an in-person interview, but if I am rejected (again!), I know it means I will be able to enjoy at least one more year as a stay-at-home mom (unless Messiah College shows interest in me), and that is also a wonderful option. We shall see what happens!



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