Coming to an end

When I was a child school started after Labor Day and ended right before Memorial Day. We didn't go to school in June, July, or August. Now most schools end some time in June and start some time in August. The swimming pool we belonged to as a child followed the same schedule - open from Memorial Day through Labor Day. So in my mind that has been the definition of "summer" although I know it technically doesn't start until June 21 and ends on September 21. The summer definitely didn't go exactly as planned. I totally ditched the charts I had made for Nadia and Ian to use to keep track of how many times they practiced the piano, worked on math flash cards, etc. But the kids did make progress this summer. For example, Oliver learned how to buckle a seatbelt, to identify all the uppercase letters, and to ride a two wheeled bike with training wheels, and Ian improved so much with swimming that he now goes off the diving board and spends a lot of time in the deep end. Speaking of swimming, our pool usually closes earlier in August, but this year it is open until Labor Day. It was closed Monday through Thursday. We didn't make it to the pool on Friday or Saturday, but we did make it there this afternoon, and we might go again tomorrow (the boys didn't enjoy the drop in water temperature). Even though we were away more than usual, we definitely got our money's worth out of our pool membership this summer. I plan to join again next year.

As I reflect on the summer, here are five things that seemed to be the most prominent:

1. Projects around the house.  I did a lot more this summer around the house than I had done over the past 8 years combined. I painted quite a few rooms in the house, sold our kitchen table and bought a "new to us" table, painted the trim on the shed, helped Paul cut down one apple tree, bought a new refrigerator, etc. Did everything get done? Nope. Some things will be pushed off for later this year or maybe next summer, but a lot of progress was made.

2. Passing of my mom. This was definitely the most "earth shattering" event of the summer for me. My mom has been one of the most important people in my life for 44 years, and for the last about 15 years she was also one of my best friends. There is no one on this planet who has come anywhere close to emailing me as much as my mom emailed me over the past 26 years (she started emailing me in 1990). She usually emailed me once a day and sometimes more than once a day. I also talked to her on the phone far more than I've ever talked on the phone with any other human being. To be honest lately I have felt like getting rid of my phone. I won't actually do so, but it just hurts that I can't call her any more. When I had something I wanted to tell someone, she was usually the FIRST person I called and told.

I miss her hugs. I miss her smiles. They meant the world to me. And I miss her words of encouragement and frequent feedback. There has ever been a single soul who has come anywhere close to giving me encouragement like she did. There is a void there now. I miss her coming up and participating in our lives - the kids musicals, birthday parties, soccer games, basketball games, going on vacations, museums, etc with her. She never attended the church we've gone to the past 2 years, but she did listen to one of my pastor's sermons several months ago (online with me) and I am so thankful we shared that experience (and of course she had nice things to say about his sermon because that's the way she was). If she had been healthy enough, she would definitely have come to Nadia's baptism in 3 weeks. She is greatly missed. I hope I can learn from her example and be an encouragement to others like she was to me for 44 years. When people ask me if I had a good summer, I have the hardest time saying "yes" since the most prominent thing was the passing of my mom, but the truth is that yes there were many other good things that happened this summer, and even that sad event was a blessing for her because it meant her time of suffering here on earth came to an end.

3. Watermelon. On a much lighter note, I bought more watermelon this summer than I did the rest of my life put together. Watermelon has never been my favorite fruit. I can list many fruits I prefer -even when it comes to melons I'd rather have honeydew, but my boys have been wanting to have watermelon almost every day.

4. Time with extended family. Because of my mom's illness and then her death, I have had far more contact with my siblings, dad, nieces, and nephews than I usually do in a year. Although I wish it were for a much happier reason, it was wonderful for my kids to have more time with their cousins in Maryland and Ohio (even though we didn't make it to Indiana). Although I have often gone months (and sometimes a year or more) without talking to my siblings, we love each other deeply and are able to work together well even during stressful moments or when doing unpleasant tasks. I wish we lived closer together so we could see each other more frequently, but that is not the case.

5. Where's Daddy? I would be a rich woman if I got paid for every time I answered that question the past four months. Oliver asks it the most - many times a day. It is almost always the first thing he says every single morning. I feel like a broken record repeating the phrase "at work" umpteen times a week. Paul was around FAR more than past eleven summers than he was this summer. We need to come up with a schedule that means he will be at home more while the kids are awake. They really miss their dad. I really hope Paul's work schedule from the last 4 months doesn't continue for months and years to come. If he wants to go in at 2:00 am, fine with me, but we need him to come home earlier than 7:00 pm considering he works six days a week.

So that was our summer in a nutshell. There were many "firsts." The kids tried some new foods (like plums and nectarines) and went to an amusement park they hadn't been to before (Cedar Point). Ian went to Good News day camp for the first time, and Nadia went to summer camp for a full week for the first time. Oliver had his first experience singing in a choir and performing in a musical. Ian had tennis lessons for the first time, Oliver had swimming lessons for the first time, and Nadia and Ian went to horse back riding camp for the first time. They were in Ohio for the first time. They went to their first funeral. Of my three kids, Ian continues to talk about my mom's passing the most. Nadia took diving lessons for the first time. Nadia and Ian went to an art camp for the first time. They watched some of the Summer Olympics on television for the first time.

I read some new chapter and picture books to them. We went to several museums in Philadelphia and one in DC for the first time. Nadia was able to ride some rides for the first time since she is now more than 48 inches tall. Oliver was able to start playing on a soccer team for the first time in August. Nadia was in the musical "A Little Mermaid, Jr.". Although it was a painful summer for me due to the passing of my beloved mom, I think my kids had a very good summer. Since we haven't gone on our family vacation yet, it doesn't feel like summer is quite over (we leave in 6 days), but it is certainly drawing to a close as the swimming pool closes for the year and everyone heads back to school.