Choices

Life is constantly full of choices which vary greatly in their significance. One decision often leads to other decisions. A few years ago I instituted the rule with the kids that they have to have a fruit or a vegetable at both lunch and dinner. Prior to that I often only purchased bananas and frozen vegetables as that was typically what Paul and I ate most of the time. Even though Paul and I still each eat a banana almost every day, none of our kids eat bananas. Nadia and Ian used to each eat a half a banana, but they stopped eating bananas a few years ago. Oliver has never been a fan of bananas. Oliver is the only one of our children who often has a fruit or vegetable at breakfast; Nadia will have some fruit at breakfast if we have cherries, blueberries, or strawberries on hand. Oliver will have a slice of watermelon or some baby carrots with his breakfast. Since the kids don't like bananas, I usually have a wider assortment of fruits plus baby carrots in the refrigerator. I almost always have apples and oranges on hand, and when I see them for a good price I buy pears, grapes, blueberries, strawberries, cherries, plums, nectarines, etc. I have price points for most things I buy at a grocery, and I won't buy the item unless it's at or below a particular price. Some price points have had to go up some over the years, or we'd never be buying that particular item again. Some things (like milk and eggs) I buy no matter what the price is. I have never purchased raspberries (in part because of the cost), but Nadia tasted some this weekend as my Aunt brought some. I'm planning to take the kids to a berry farm to pick raspberries for the first time this summer. This week we're planning to pick strawberries. YUM!

I think at times it's easier to make decisions that involve a value. For example, both Nadia and Ian's teams had games last Wednesday night. In Ian's case it was a make-up soccer game because typically all their games are on Saturdays. In Nadia's case it was the one softball game this season that was super close to our house (less than one mile away), but we didn't go because they had the summer musical program at the Alliance church to attend. I have told the kids that church always trumps sports, and they haven't had any problem with that at all. Ironically, we found out at the softball party on Friday night the girls had their FIRST win of the season on Wednesday night, but only five girls from her team were able to make that game so two kids playing on their team that night were actually from the other team so you can't really compare that game to the others. Most of the decisions that take more thought (in contrast to decisions like what clothes to put on in the morning or what to eat for breakfast) seem to deal with either money, time, or energy. We have a limited supply of time, energy, and money. Last week our homeschooling group toured a cave that we haven't been to before. I considered signing us up, but then I decided we shouldn't because we don't have much left in our entertainment budget for the year, and we are planning to stop at Luray Caverns on the way home from Lynchburg in August. Luray Caverns is a lot more expensive (and bigger) than the one they went to today, but I figured spending money to tour two caves in one year was probably not a wise choice. Similarly, today our group toured an animal farm/ petting zoo that we haven't been to before, but again I have decided to skip it because it would cost $22 for the four of us to go there, and we are planning to go to Lake Tobias in July. Instead I invited two girls over for a play date. Thankfully there are many field trips that are free, such as a 3.2 mile hike we're planning to go on this Thursday with the homeschool group at a state park we've never been to before.

Last summer Paul received dual income for a few months because he was paid by Bucknell through August but started at the family business in May. We opted to put the extra money down toward the principal on the mortgage to #1 reduce the amount of interest we will pay overall and #2 to lower our payment when refinancing so we could afford to stay in this house on Paul's lower salary. Of course paying down the mortgage is not the most exciting way to spend money. A trip to Hawaii would be a lot more fun, but honestly it wasn't hard to make that decision. I hate being in debt. The only time I've ever paid interest in my life was on a mortgage. That started for me in January 2001 when I bought our first house eight months before we got married. I took out a 15 year mortgage at that time. Paul paid off his car loan in the summer of 2001. He only brought school loan debt into our marriage. We paid those loans off in 2013. When we moved to this house in September 2008 I took out my very first 30 year mortgage. We refinanced in December 2016 to a 15 year mortgage, and we

made a payment toward the principal shortly after that with coin money from my mom. It was an easy decision for me to put 50% of the coin money toward the mortgage. It was harder to decide whether to put more of it toward the mortgage. Saving thousands of dollars (eventually) due to paying less interest in the future is wonderful, but it's naturally also tempting to use the money to buy some things I doubt we'd ever be able to afford otherwise. Setting aside some for Ian's braces was again a no brainer. I don't see how we could afford braces on Paul's salary, and Ian really needs braces. I would SO much rather have my mom around, but I'm grateful we can afford to pay for his braces as a result of her passing.  So after the tithe, Ian's braces, and 50% toward the mortgage, it was hard to decide what to do with the rest. Part of me wanted to put ALL of it toward the mortgage, but in the end I used some of it for things like a new kitchen floor (very happy with that decision), a new camera body, and the setting for my great grandmother's diamond. I made another payment on the principal today, but I'm still undecided about the last part that hasn't been spent yet (not counting what I've set aside for Ian's braces). I could also put that toward the mortgage or use it toward something we couldn't otherwise afford such as a piece of exercise equipment (I'd like to lose some weight) or a 70-200mm lens. I'm giving myself more time to think about it. It took me months to decide about which setting to get for my great grandmother's diamond. Sometimes after the fact I have buyers remorse or remorse that I didn't purchase something. For example, my sister in 2008 wisely suggested I buy a DSLR when my camera broke, but I just bought another point and shoot (big mistake in hindsight). With the ring I am very glad I went with the much cheaper setting rather than the one I really loved because now that the diamond is in the setting I realize that the diamond is all I really notice due to its size (2.46 carats).

It's a good thing I have a strong desire to be out of debt ASAP (although it likely will be ten more years until that is true) because buying things you can see (like new carpet or a camera) is a lot more exciting than paying down the principal of a mortgage. It reminds me of when I was the principal of a Christian school. It was a lot harder to raise money to pay the operating expenses (utilities, salaries, etc.) whereas it was much easier to raise money for more tangible things like a computer lab or playground equipment.

My decision to give Upward flag football a try in the fall was partly about time and energy. It would have been cheaper to pick soccer. I asked Nadia yesterday whether she'd prefer soccer, softball, or gymnastics next spring. She said gymnastics because she hasn't done it in more than a year. Gymnastics is far more expensive than soccer, but 8 weeks of gymnastics would have been cheaper than 8 weeks of softball. So 8 weeks of gymnastics for Nadia next spring sounds good to me if we can afford it. If she does softball again in the future it will be a bit cheaper since she already owns a bat, mask, helmet, mitt, and bat bag. It will certainly make the schedule a lot less hectic to trade softball for gymnastics. I'll wait a few months to ask the boys what they want to do next spring.

My natural instinct is to be a saver not a spender. I've been that way since I was a child. It does not seem that any of my kids have inherited that trait from me. Nadia did save up a decent amount of money once a couple of years ago for a Frozen Lego set, but usually money doesn't sit around long before they spend it. Ian almost always wants to spend his ASAP. He sets goals of things he wants to save his money to buy, but he rarely has the patience to actually save his money until he has enough. I am trying to teach them about stretching their dollars. They see something they want (ex. a candy bar), and if I say, you can get that candy bar at xyz store for 1/2 the price, it is so hard for them to wait. They don't seem to care if it's a good buy or not. In April I had a coupon for a free pastry at Panera. I picked out a cookie, but then found out it exceeded the price limit. So I switched to a cinnamon bun. Would you believe the cookie was $3? Ian said, "I'll buy the cookie, Mommy." I couldn't believe he would consider spending $3 to buy one cookie. We didn't get any cookies that day, and the kids discovered they like cinnamon buns. I realize none of them might ever be as into couponing and finding bargains as I am, but I hope they do become wise stewards of whatever resources God gives them. When I was a professor I was a penny pincher by choice not necessity, but now it is imperative I am as frugal as possible. In gym class a few weeks ago I heard a few moms talking about how much they paid for their kids' shoes. The lowest price I heard was $40, and one mom was also talking about how much she paid for her one year old's shoes! I have never paid over $25 for any shoes for any of my three kids, and the vast majority of their shoes I have paid less than $5 a pair. Considering our clothing (and shoe) budget for the year for all five of us is $500, I had better not be spending $40-50 per pair of shoes! Yard sales, clearance racks, and consignment shops make this possible.