A little darker!

Well I used a FRER again and the line is definitely darker. YAHOO! I am not sure if the difference will show up on the computer screen, but it does when you're looking at the actual hpts. Also, I should add that Wendy and Drayton have both said that the other two hpts look darker in person than on the computer. They haven't seen this one yet as it's only 5:28am here. Pretty soon we're off to the airport to fly to BWI and then drive HOME!!!

Sinking in

Well it's finally sinking in that I am pg. Wow. I guess although I was really, really hoping this little one would hang on, I truly didn't expect it to. I am so so so so thankful this little embryo hatched and implated. What a miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to come home to my hubby tomorrow. Drayton and Wendy have been terrific about celebrating this happy news with me, but it's the kind of news I want to celebrate first with my hubby! Wendy went to CVS today and got me 3 FRER's so tomorrow I plan to test with my favorite brand of hpt - the one I used on Friday. Hopefully the line will be a little darker, but from what I've read, the main thing is that it's positive. HPTs are more qualitative (yes/no) than quantitative in nature. Thankfully I slept well last night (probably 9 hours); I didn't think I needed a nap this afternoon, but I am very tired now so I wish I had taken a nap this afternoon. Maybe this is my first pg symptom? Thanks for all your encouragement and prayers. It means the world to me!!!

Here's some info on what my hcg "should" be on Monday (day 17). Drayton said the info from below would mean my hcg should be about 270 on day 17 (he's a math guy).

"A total of 53 patients did not have a fetal heartbeat at the end of the first trimester. Their mean [beta]-HCG levels were 56 mIU/mL on day 16, and 115 mIU/mL on day 18, with an average slope of 24 mIU/mL.

Levels and slopes were much higher for the remaining 269 women with viable pregnancies with mean levels of 216 mIU/mL on day 16 and 505 mIU/mL on day 18, with an average slope of 140 mIU/mL.

Most of the women, 180, had singleton pregnancies. Their average [beta]-HCG levels were 169 mIU/mL on day 16 and 401 mIU/mL on day 18. The researchers noted that the average slope of 111 mIU/mL was 4.62 times higher than in the pregnancies that were not viable.

For the 89 women who had multiple births, average [beta]-HCG levels were 348 mIU/mL on day 16 and 798 mIU/mL on day 18. Their average slope, 220 mIU/mL, was reported as 9.16 times higher than the slope in patients who did not have a fetal heart beat at the end of the first trimester."

Still positive

Well I wish I had purchased 3 more FRER yesterday instead of 4 Fact Plus hpts. The Fact Plus ones were on sale. :-) Anyhow the test is still positive and that's the main thing! It took longer to turn positive (the FRER popped up immediately and the Fact Plus took a few minutes). The instructions say as long as it turns positive in less than 10 minutes the results are accurate and it took less than 10 minutes although it felt like forever. And the line is fainter than yesterday's, but these tests aren't as sensitive. I must say this morning I was thinking, let's go back to CVS and I'll get a pack of FRERs, but the main thing is the test is ++. I am pregnant. We can't really know the # from a hpt. I'll just have to wait for the Beta on Monday. Hope the little bean is hanging on tight in there! Susie calls the little bean my "tummy baby." :-) The way to read a Fact Plus is there is supposed to be a vertical line in the control (C) window and if you are pg a + sign in the result (R) window on the left. If you are not pg, there will be a horizontal line in the R window and a vertical line in the C window. So the important line is the vertical one in the R window and that's the faintest line. It does say in the instructions that it doesn't matter which line is darker in the R window but I wish the vertical one was darker than it is. But hopefully little bean is doing fine. I'll test again tomorrow and Monday and then have the Beta on Monday also. Hoping and praying my HCG is at least 250 on Monday!!!

Wait until Monday

We went to a lab near my sister's home this morning, but two things caused me not to have a Beta done. #1 the cost was $105, and #2 my RE clinic said they wouldn't do a repeat Beta if the first Beta wasn't done in their lab. So if I was going to have it done elsewhere then I'd need to have two done there, and I can't do that since I am flying back Sunday morning (plus I sure don't want to pay $210!). So instead we went to CVS and I bought 4 more hpts - a different brand that came to $20 including tax which is 9% here in IL. So I hope to keep seeing 2 lines every morning, and hopefully the line will get darker. I hope I sleep better tonight though! I slept fine until I poas at 2:50am (CST) and after I saw two lines I couldn't sleep a wink! I was on my laptop in bed plus leaving Paul a whole bunch of messages on our answering machine. He finally called me back about 7:00am (EST) and then I called my parents also with the VERY happy news. I am in a state of shock. I don't feel pg at all. I'm so used to only seeing one line. I have looked at the hpt a million times today just to be sure it's real!!! I did take a nap this afternoon so that helped me catch up a little on the sleep I missed this morning, but I still am hoping for at least 8 hours tonight! Thanks for all your congratulations. I appreciate the support!!

PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a confession to make. I actually did a hpt on Tuesday (11dpo). While on bedrest I spent some time on an ivf site that had many, many db's all about ivf. Well quite a few of them got bfps at 10dpo or earlier (I was mainly on a FET db). In fact some said their RE's do their Beta at 7dp5dt. They said their RE's expect the HCG to be at least 50 at that point which makes sense since in 2005 I was told it should be at least 100 at 14dpo. So anyhow I figured at 11dpo mine should be above 11 (I got a bfp in 2005 at 12dpo with hcg at 11.8) if there is any hope of it being at least 50 at 12dpo. So I continued taking my shots, but I was 99% convinced I wasn't pg. I had decided to test again at 14dpo (today) and if negative I was considering stopping my shots today even though I couldn't have the Beta until Monday. I talked with Paul about that last night on the phone. I didn't tell TOO many people though about the BFN on Tues in part bc I thought they'd tell me "it was probably too early" and I thought that it wasn't too early. I was wrong!!!

So I tested this morning FULLY expecting to only see one line, but there were TWO! I thought I was seeing things. I put some more contact solution in my eyes (it was only about 3:00am here in Chicago or 4am my usual EST) and turned on a second light in the bathroom to be sure. Nope, there are definitely two lines!!! Now here's the scary part. I am worried my hcg is not at 100 yet. The line is definitely darker than it was at 12dpo in 2005 when my hcg was 11.8, but it's still on the light side. So please pray, pray, pray that this little one STICKS. I am going to ask Wendy if we can call around and find some place that might do a Beta for me today if I pay cash. It would offer tremendous peace of mind. Plus I will definitely be calling my RE's office to move my Beta to Monday!!! And I will be buying more hpts as I only brought one with me (I only bought 2 for this FET and so I've now used both).

So I am in a state of shock at the moment and happy - very happy that our little # seven has implanted, but also rather nervous... I really want to HOLD this little one in my arms before he/she goes to Heaven like the other 7 babies we lost.

4dp6dt

Well my body hasn't switched to the new time since we turned the clocks back an hour. I didn't stay up late enough on Saturday night to make the switch (9:45 old time) so I wasn't surprised when I awakened at 5:00am on Sunday morning. However, last night I stayed up until 10:30pm (new time) which is late for me (especially as that's 11:30pm old time) but nope I woke up at 5:00am again. I usually get up around 6:00am so my body just hasn't switched yet. To make matters worse, tomorrow I am going into another time zone (CST) so if I don't adjust first to this change, I'll be two hours out of synch! Well I plan to stay up even later tonight as I'll be cheering on my team in Monday night football. So hopefully I'll sleep in later tomorrow morning especially since I don't need to get up AS early on Tuesday mornings as Bible study starts at 9am whereas my class starts at 8am this morning. I slept in my own bed last night. Ahhhh so wonderful to be in my cozy bed and have my hubby nearby. I usually get up and come downstairs to eat first, but I showered and got dressed first to eliminate one trip up & down the stairs. I have to say the shower felt equally as wonderful as I hadn't had one since Thursday morning although I had washed my hair in the kitchen sink on Friday morning.

So today is the big day when probably at the minimum I'll find out how many couples applied to be presented to Ann and possibly we'll even find out if she picked us today or if she has eliminated us in her process of narrowing down the pool. If we don't find out today if we were picked or not, we will most likely find out tomorrow. I definitely feel the suspense! Plus at the equivalent of 10dpo I definitely feel suspense in that regard as well. I'll keep you posted on both accounts!

2dp6dt

Well I've been on bedrest now for over 2 days. I have read two books from cover to cover, been on my laptop quite a bit, done my Bible study, and watched some tv. I am going to climb the stairs for the first time tomorrow night; so tonight will be my last night sleeping on the couch. I figure I have to climb the steps to get a shower on Monday morning so I might as well do it Sunday night and enjoy sleeping in our bed. The couch is comfy but not AS comfy as our bed! I read on one RE's website that they advise their patients not to climb ANY staircases in between transfer and Beta. Yikes! I haven't climbed any yet, but boy do I want a shower. Mine said no "heavy lifting" but didn't specify how many lbs that means. I searched on several different RE clinic websites and it seems most said 10 lbs and a few said 15 lbs. I am trying to err on the conservative side so I will try to stick with the 10 lb limit. That means I'd better not pick Adam up while in Chicago as my mom says he weighs 20 lbs! But someone can put him in my lap, and Susie is able to climb into my lap herself. :-) My mom wondered if my laptop is okay. Thankfully, it only weighs 6.5 lbs. I say thankfully because I've been lifting it a lot the last 2 days!

This next week is a big one. First we find out if Ann picked us or not, and then if our little one has implanted. I've been trying to keep my hopes "in check." I know if we had transferred 2-3 embryos our chances would be about 25% which isn't great, but with only one they are even less. So most likely I won't see two lines again. Of course I have some hope. It would be hard to bear all these shots w/o any hope. Plus I know many, many people are praying. More than ever prayed for me before in any other luteal phase. The women at ladies Bible study, the handbell choir, the senior choir, and the list goes on. And nothing is impossible with God. If He wants us to hold this little one in our arms one day - He can enable that to happen. And wow - many people will be giving Him the glory if that happens. It would truly be a miracle in my eyes.

Well anyhow I am having a little more trouble keeping my hopes in check because I am nauseous. Really nauseous. Last night when I asked for Paul to get me Tums and a trash can in case I threw up, I really didn't connect the dots in ANY way that this could be a pgcy symptom. Then as I felt nauseous again this evening (both days its only happened in the evening - yesterday a piece of toast helped but that trick hasn't helped tonight) I did a little research on the internet. I found out that an embyro needs to hatch by the 6th day. That's why they don't freeze them any later than 144 hours after conception because they can't hatch prior to transfer as that would be very bad (well they can START hatching but only if it's within a super short amount of time before transfer). Then I read (on the Chicago clinic's website) that they should implant within about 24 hours after hatching. So this tiny little one ideally would have hatched sometime on Thursday and then implanted Thursday or Friday. And hcg starts being produced right after implantation. And it doesn't take much hcg for me to be nauseous as I was very sick to my stomach at 11dpo and my hcg at 12dpo was only 11.8. So here's my newest prayer request - if I am feeling nauseous bc I am pg - then Lord let me stay nauseous, but if I am nauseous for some other reason, please let it go away ASAP so it won't cause me to get my hopes up more than they should be. I didn't have this in August. I know I'm on more PIO and also on EV which I wasn't on in Aug, but I've been on EV for 3 weeks and nothing til last night. I am trying to stay calm. The suspense is not easy though especially when I feel encouraged by the fact I feel so awful, LOL.

No scuba diving

I think the discharge instructions I received yesterday are humorous. It starts out with the 24 hours of bedrest instruction (may only get up to use the bathroom it says). Mid-way down the page (two lines above where it says to take the PIO two times a day and the EV on Tuesdays and Fridays) it says "No hot tubs/saunas/scuba diving." It's going to be a sacrifice, but I guess I can give up scuba diving for a couple of weeks. LOL I've never been scuba diving! I do enjoy snorkeling but who can afford IVF and also a vacation? Not us! The line below that ones says "Wear your seatbelt." I am not sure what that has to do with a FET. Maybe the hospital puts that on all discharge sheets? It's just a funny combination to me to see no scuba diving on one line, wear your seatbelt on the next, and progesterone in oil take 1 ml IM in am and 1 ml IM in pm on the next line.

I've been on the couch 99% of the time since I got home yesterday afternoon. Aside from going to the bathroom, I admit I did wash my hair. I had Paul bring me down some shampoo this morning (I slept on the couch last night). I sat on a chair and washed my hair in the sink while seated. The massage therapist had lotion on her hands which got in me hair when she gave me a scalp massage. My hair was just really gross, and I knew I couldn't wait til Monday morning to wash it. I didn't blow dry or anything like that. :-) Other than that I've been parked on the couch reading, watching tv, and using my laptop. I also talk to our baby now and then with my hand on my belly! And of course pray many times a day for him/her!

I'm PUPO again!

Thank you for your prayers! They were answered in two regards #1 the packet arrive in FL around 1:30 today so that was a relief and #2 more importantly our embyro is still looking good!!! She said the color was good (if it's brown it means it's dead) and she said when they first thawed it that it was all crunched up tight in the center which is good and that there weren't any ice crystals (which is bad). She said the embryo had been expanding (they started thawing it about 10am) and it hadn't reached the zona pellucida yet but she said it kept expanding like it should. I really like Teresa (the embryologist). She said, 'Your embryo says hi!" and I said "hi" and she said "Your mom and dad say hi" this was while she was tending to the embryo in the lab which is adjacent to the procedure room (where they do retrievals and transfers).

The transfer didn't happen until a little after 2pm. Let me tell you my bladder was about to POP. Dr. Awad was late (30 min) but then Dr. Murphy was even later (55 min). This was my first time meeting Dr. Murphy. It's just not nice to leave a woman on an operating table with a very full bladder for so long! But I made it. I didn't drink as much this time. I learned my lesson last time! At first Dr. M was doing the sonography while Dr. A was preparing for the transfer. He said something about an obstruction and I got really concerned and they switched places and Dr. A did the sonography and Dr. M the transfer. I asked if there was a problem and Dr. A said no your cervix is very tight and it keeps moving, but Dr. M had success and then Teresa brought in our precious embryo. They had the screen turned so I didn't see the "black dot" like in August when they pointed out the 3 traveling dots to me. And they didn't print a photo like the resident did in August who did the sonography. Hopefully I'll get a photo in a couple of weeks though which would be even better than the one I have from Aug of the three dots.

The nurse said my Beta will be on Nov 15. I can't believe they'd expect someone to wait until 20dpo (or past retrieval as the case may be!). Last time they had mine scheduled for 16dpo but I came in 2 days early at 14dpo. I plan to call next week to reschedule it to Nov 12 which will be 17dpo which is still later than when I had it this summer. I don't want extra shots for no reason if I'm not pg. Most REs usually do a Beta 9-11 days past 5 or 6 day transfer although some do it as early as 5-8 days past.

My bottom is also in a lot less pain today. Working on those "lumps" although it was painful to do has definitely decreased the pain level. I also have to add that I did end up having a massage today!! A friend (who is a nurse and her husband is a doctor) from handbells called me last night and I happened to mention how I had tried to schedule a massage this morning. She asked first if I had tried with the woman I had in August, and I said I did go to her in August before the transfer but she was booked today. Well she knew of another massage therapist in Danville that I didn't know of, and she called her this morning and got me a 10:30 appt. How sweet was that! Paul said the way I was talking at the end of the massage he thought I was half asleep so it was definitely relaxing.

He's been such a sweet heart. He went to Bucknell last night (late) so that he could be with me this morning and afternoon. He was looking forward to having breakfast together at Denny's prior to the transfer but the massage meant no time for that. Now he's at my university doing some work in the lab on a piece of equipment his school doesn't have (he was there yesterday and got a parking ticket but today he's using my car so he won't get a ticket), and he's picking up pizza on the way home for dinner. I really appreciate all he's done for me today and I know he'll keep helping me out during my 3 days of bedrest (or pelvic rest as the nurse called it, LOL).

Thanks again for all your prayers. Now I am praying the little embryo will break through the zona pellucida, implant into my uterus, and HANG ON tight!!!

Today is the day!!!

I woke up at 4:45am and was unable to get back to sleep although I did lie in bed until 5:30. It figures on a day I could sleep in I awaken bright and early whereas yesterday the alarm woke me from a DEEP sleep at 6:15am (I teach at 8am on MWF). I feel like today is such a critical day. First, the thawing and culturing process, the actual transfer, and then for the embryo to be able to hatch and implant. Wow. Big day in the life of little "number seven" as Heather calls "him." I admit I am still nervous about the whole not doing the assisted hatching. I wanted to do the AH in August and Dr. A said not needed since you're younger than 39. We almost insisted this time around with the FET bc there is a nagging doubt in our mind that not doing AH could have been the reason we lost the triplets. He said - only if this FET doesn't work, then we'll do AH next time. I don't want there to need to be a next time! I know it's $250 extra, but I'd gladly pay it if it means never needing to do IVF again. But God can help this embryo hatch through the zona pellucida without medical assistance. I am earnestly praying to that end. Thanks for all your prayers. I'll post again this afternoon hopefully with happy news that our embryo had very little damage from the thawing process.