What a Day!

Well I said earlier that I like roller coasters, and I do! I am looking forward to trying out the new one they are building at the amusement park near our home (after baby is born not before!). However, I am not as keen on the emotional roller coaster rides. Well today was one of those days. You would think I would have started out the day in a relaxed, refreshed manner since I had a 4 day weekend (Thurs-Sun) and then had a very good night's sleep (over 11 hours!). When we came home from Shawn's bday party I had a really upset stomach, so I went straight to bed (at 7:15 pm!). Well the "down" part of my day came early this morning. Before 8am I was having a total meltdown - sobbing hysterically to the point I was almost having an asthma attack. Paul had to leave for classes; I could tell he felt awful to leave me in such a state. I wasn't upset that he was leaving. I don't want to make this post any longer than it will likely be anyhow, but this upsetting email had to do with a journal manuscript.

This email would have upset me normally, but I think I was even more upset than usual because #1 I am a bit more hormonal than normal and #2 I was already stressed out and this was the "final straw." For awhile I had been dealing pretty well with the suspense of not knowing where we'll be living next fall, but I had been struggling lately. I'll give two examples. Earlier this month I received a letter from Compassion. I have sponosored Cristy through that program for 13 years, and she was graduating from the program. So they were going to assign me a new child to sponsor. I didn't know whether we could afford to sponsor another child as it depended on if I would be working come August or not. Similarly, I was feeling pressured to figure out what my schedule would be in the fall before the deadline for making changes had passed. I felt like everything was in limbo. On Sunday the sermon was on peace. It was just what I needed. Our pastor reminded us that peace is confidence in the Lord's Providence; it has nothing to do with our circumstances. I knew that my getting all stressed out was not helping at all but was just making me crazy.

Anyhow following the email that really upset me, there were three VERY good things that happened today. First, I got an email from an editor regarding another article. I wasn't expecting to hear from her this week, and I took the timing as a gift from the Lord in light of the upsetting one. Second, the BEST news of the day was that Paul called PSU to check on the status of his application, and he found out that on Thursday he was accepted! She said the letter was mailed on Friday. YAHOOOOOO! The letter didn't arrive today; I am very glad Paul called!!! This is a HUGE relief. We will be so much better off financially, we don't have to move right away, I can keep working at my same school (could cut back to PT), and I don't have to find a new church either. PTL!!!!! We don't know the details yet of the stipend, etc., but likely it won't change our decision to accept their offer and turn down the offers from Pitt and UD. The third happy thing was that I am almost positive I felt baby move this afternoon!! I have wondered at times over the last couple of weeks but kept second guessing myself an thinking it was my stomach or something else. Well I was sitting in a mtg at work this afternoon and felt a little flutter tickling me inside my belly. I smiled and another prof asked me what was funny, and since there were just 3 other people in the room and they all know I'm pg, I said "I just felt my baby move." They all smiled at the reason for my smile. I still am not 100% sure, but I feel pretty certain that I finally felt baby move at 19w3d!

Well it's time to scoot to handbells. They will be sooo happy to hear that Paul was accepted at PSU! Many at my church have been praying to that end as they don't want me to leave. It's nice to feel wanted! Now, I have to decide how many hours to work this fall. My mom had a good idea that I could hire a college student to babysit for 3 hours in my office 3 days a week instead of at home (would mean I wouldn't need a babysitter for my driving time and my office hours as I'd just watch the baby myself during those times). I asked my dept chair today if that would be allowed, and he said he had no problem with it. In fact, he said he was fine with me having the baby in the classroom while I teach. I thought he was joking when he had told me earlier that I could teach with the baby strapped to me, but he was serious. I am not sure about that... I was thinking of how Lynn said that if I was going to be working in the mornings it would be better to do so when baby was younger than older so I was thinking maybe I should work FT and then cut back to PT later? Keeping in mind by "FT" I mean I would hire a babysitter for 9 hours a week for the fall semester (to watch baby in my office). Paul could watch baby during my night class. I think I'd want to switch the day of my night class though as otherwise Monday would be a long day. I think I might ask my dept chair to move that class to Tues or Thurs. Well now I really must scoot or I'll be late. Good thing I'm a fast typist, LOL! Sorry for the long post!