Gratitude

I admit that yesterday afternoon/evening I was tempted to throw myself a little pity party. I was feeling very lousy, and I kept thinking that for most people conception and pleasure go together whereas for me that's definitely not true. Dr. N asked me about my ectopic pgcy, and for whatever reason I was feeling really emotional about that. I definitely felt very sad when we lost that baby, and now that we have a baby I actually sometimes feel that pain in a different way. It's more tangible now. I look at Nadia and feel the grief a little differently over having lost that baby in 2005 plus the other 6 embryos in 2007. It also hit me last night that yesterday was the first time in 10 months Paul & I went anywhere together without Miss Nadia. I wouldn't call an egg retrieval a date, LOL. We need to go on a date again. So I think it's time to focus on blessings...

1. The weather yesterday was gorgeous. I know some people love the 90's, but I thought it was perfect yesterday afternoon when it was about 70 degrees. Nadia and I enjoyed hanging out on the back porch, and then 2 girls from our neighborhood came over and played with Nadia on the swing set and slide.

2. I am glad that IVF exists. We wouldn't have Nadia without it, and hopefully this will lead to a brother or sister for her in 2010.

3. I am glad that we had the money in a CD to pay for the IVF. I shouldn't take that for granted. I am sure there are many who would love to do it but can't afford it.

4. Nadia's 3rd tooth broke through yesterday (top right), and I think the 4th will break through today (top left). I am glad that she hasn't been as fussy getting these two top teeth as she was with her first two bottom ones.

5. I am glad that the bloating has gone down considerably. Last night I looked very pregnant. Not many people look 3 months pg on the day of conception, LOL! Thankfully my belly has gone down in size as my clothing was way too tight last night.

6. I am grateful that Dr. N gave me a medicine for the nausea so that the recovery process was much better yesterday than in 2007.

7. I am very excited that in 9 days we'll be flying to Antigua. YAHOOO!

8. I am glad that the spring semester is over and that I get 3 weeks off of teaching.

9. I am glad that 12 of the 14 eggs they retrieved were mature since that was a better % than last time.

10. I am glad I get a break from all shots and needles today. The bleeding from yesterday's procedure has stopped, and hopefully the bruising on my arms will go away as I get a break from b/w for a couple of weeks until the Beta.

11. I am grateful Paul's parents could watch Nadia yesterday morning. It would have been nuts to try to watch her at the hospital.

12. I am glad I got some sleep last night. It was a challenge between the physical pain and also the emotional stress over the fertilization process. I prayed for our embies all through the night!