Choosing a Name

As a child I had great fun talking with friends about what names we might use for future children. I kept a list of possible girl and boy names (first and middle combinations) that I had come up with for several years. Fast forward 20+ years to a time when I was married and I discovered Paul & I have very different taste in names. In general he's a very laid back guy - not someone you would call "picky," but when it comes to selecting names, I would definitely call him "picky." No matter how long a list of names I would come up with, he would reject ALL of them. I quickly came to the realization that Paul would have to come up with the names, and then I'd let him know if a particular name was okay with me or not. We started seriously discussing names in late 2004 when we started pursuing adoption because with Lifetime we *might* have had a last minute placement. In early 2005 (January or February), Paul did come up a boy's name that I liked "Ian Alexander." So for the last 4+ years we've agreed if we have a boy, that's what his name would be. At the time of my 20 week ultrasound with Nadia, we still hadn't picked out a girl's name because Paul thought it was a waste of time because if baby was a boy we already had a name and didn't need to pick out a girl's name. Once we found out baby was a girl, we started working on a girl's name. Unfortunately, a crime was commited against a relative in one of our extended families this summer. It was awful what happened to this person, and unfortunately for us, his name was Ian. Of course what this relative went through is SOOOO much worse than us needing to pick a new name. We have been discussing both girl and boy names as I would like to have them picked by August 23 so we can start referring to baby#2 by name on August 24.

The criteria I consider when picking a name include:

1.) Is the name really common? (I don't want my child to be one of say 3 Elizabeth's in her class, which is true in one of my classes this summer. Even though there are only 12 students in that class, 3 are named Elizabeth.) - I use the recent data on the Social Security website to make this determination. I want a name that has not been too popular lately.

2.) Do I like the sound of the full name? (first, middle, last)

3.) Is the name easy to spell? (I saw what my sister went through with the name "Yvonne")

4.) What is the meaning of the name? (I love the fact that Nadia Renee means "hope reborn")

5.) Nicknames? My first preference is that the name isn't prone to be shortened (or lengthened as happens upon occasion such as Ruth to Ruthie). Paul and Nadia are two names that most people don't modify to create a nickname. If the name is commonly shortened, I need to also really like the nickname or the name is rejected. I know that even if I refer to the child by the full name, if the name is commonly shortened that will likely happen eventually (particularly if the child prefers the nickname).

Nadia Renee and Ian Alexander both met all of my criteria. Back when we were picking Nadia's name, Paul had come up with two first names, and he let me pick. Although he had rejected all the names on my list for a first name, he was fine with two of my choices for a middle name (Renee and Nicole). The other girl's name means "bee" and it's more common than Nadia and also is often shortened - so it was an easy choice for me to pick Nadia so Nadia Renee it was. Well Paul has assumed that if this baby is also a girl, we'd go with the other first name he had picked last year. This weekend he came up with a middle name for that first name. I fully agree with him that the name sounds really nice (first, middle, last). Although I know MANY women with this first name, it hasn't been popular for quite awhile according to the SS website. So although the name strikes me at first as too common, it seems my fear that she would have many classmates with the same name is unfounded. The name is easy to spell, and although the name definitely is usually shortened to a nickname, the nicknames are fine.

The main problem I am having with this name is the meaning. The first name means "bee" and the middle name means "bitter." Great. A bitter bumblebee? I searched several websites hoping to find an alternate meaning to either/both names. Nope. Every single website I checked listed "bee" for the one name and "bitter" for the other. I should add that both of these names are in our family. That is the main reason for picking them. The first name is from Paul's side of the family, and the middle name from mine. Paul doesn't care one iota what the names mean. I know most people wouldn't know what the names meant. I always liked that Ruth means "compassionate, friend" and in my opinion "hope reborn" couldn't be more perfect for Nadia since I had long since given up hope of ever giving birth to a baby and had also lost almost all hope of ever adopting a child. We haven't made any progress on a new boy's name, but I think Paul considers the name to have been chosen if baby #2 is a girl. What do you think? Should I adopt Paul's attitude and not care what the meaning of the names are? Picking a name is definitely not as easy or fun a task as I thought it was when I was a child!!!