He lost weight

This weigh-in didn't go well. He lost 50 grams (about one ounce) so he now weighs 5lb 9oz. I squeezed in one extra feeding between 4-11pm, but during that time he wasn't given any supplements. When they found out I was spending the night, they took out his NG tube. He had a supplement by bottle at 8am, 11am, and 2pm. I asked if he could have a bottle after I nursed him at 11pm, but the nurse said that this evening they are wanting him to only nurse. She told me she didn't think that nursing Ian more often than every 3 hours was a good idea unless Ian woke up on his own sooner than that. She asked for my cell phone number and said she'd call me if Ian woke up before 2am. I showed up 2 1/2 hours later (1:30am), and she gave me a hard time for being early. After I found out he lost weight, I again said I was fine with them giving him a bottle of my milk after I nursed him. He hates the NG tube so I would rather them give him a bottle. She said she'd ask, but that she thought they'd probably want to stick with the plan to only nurse him tonight. I called Paul and told him I want to go home tomorrow. I'll be reunited with my boy when they're ready to discharge him...whenever that may be. This doctor says two weeks is the norm, in which case he'd be discharged the day after Christmas.

With this weight loss, I don't see how Ian could possibly come home tomorrow. The day Nadia was discharged she had lost 55 grams, but I doubt something like that will happen this time around. He wasn't switched to the bassinet because of the weight loss. Once he's in the bassinet he has to stay in that a minimum of 24 hours before he can be discharged. I figure I might as well go home where I can at least do some good for one of my two children. I can keep pumping as I am producing lots of milk. Lately I've been getting 2 ounces in 10-15 minutes while pumping, and they consider a full feed for Ian to be 1.69 ounces (that's how much they'd give him by bottle every three hours if I wasn't nursing him). I am not sure how long I will keep pumping if he then doesn't want to nurse once he comes home, but I would at least keep doing it for the next few weeks. Nursing is far more satisfying emotionally than pumping so I know I'd never pump for a year even though that's how long I wanted to nurse him. It would be ideal if his bottles were filled with my milk for at least 6 months, but I don't even know if I can do it that long. We shall see. Tomorrow will be day 10 at the hospital for me. With Nadia I had the total meltdown on day 8, and that ended up being the day she was discharged. I think that's about my limit. I've made it farther this time, especially when you consider that I was never alone during those 8 days with Nadia. I really wanted to stay here with him until he was discharged, but I've lost my will to fight. He'll be discharged more quickly if I stop nursing him and just stay at home with Nadia.

Aside from taking his exam on Thursday, Paul hasn't gotten any schoolwork done in the past 10 days. He should resume heading back to PSU every day. I can take care of Nadia, finish grading papers, paint Ian's room, etc. I'll certainly miss the little guy, but it's not like I really have that much contact with him especially now that we've been ousted from the demo room. I just can't sit by his bedside that many hours a day as the alarms and crying of the other babies are very hard to deal with.

Paul called the nurse after I told him what happened. He wants me to stick with the every two hour schedule. We shall see what she says when I go down at 4am. In light of talking with him on the phone before and after he called her, I didn't have time for getting sleep in between feedings.