Half-Sizes

Well it turns out you can buy half-sizes in toddler shoes. I've only ever looked for shoes for Nadia at JcPenney, Walmart, and Target, and they don't carry half-sizes. There was a time when Nadia really needed size 5.5 as she couldn't keep size 6 on her feet, but size 5 was really too small. The next time that happens I will head to Payless. Money Saving Mom posted about a good sale Payless is having on all their shoes. I need to try shoes on as sometimes I buy 8 1/2 and sometimes I buy size 9, but I did buy Nadia two pairs of shoes. Size 6 fits her now so I didn't buy 5 1/2, even though that was an option. I got her two pair of shoes that together cost me $10.66, and I've often paid more than that for just one pair in the past! The best deals are at yard sales, and I hope to get some shoes for both of them at yard sales this summer. The shoes I purchased online today were a pair of lime green sandals and a pair of blue water shoes for our trip to Florida. Paul and I really like wearing them when we're at the beach as then you don't have to worry about stepping on rocks, shells, or hot sand. They had pink water shoes, but I got blue ones just in case Ian could wear them next summer.

I'm a bit embarrassed to post these picture of Ian because of how awful the seat cushion looks. It's 9 years old. Way past time to get a new one. After taking these pictures I flipped it over, and the other side looks much better, but it's still time to get a new one. He looks so adorable in them; so I'm trying to ignore how pitiful the cushion looks, LOL. Of course you don't know what it looked like 9 years ago so it might not look so awful to you.

Whisper, please!

What is the age when a child is typically capable of whispering? In the Toddler Busy Book the author suggests working on inside/outside voices with toddlers, and I have tried that, but Nadia just doesn't seem to get it. She laughs when I whisper. She thinks it's funny, but she hasn't tried to imitate me. Invariably when I am taking Ian up to his crib for a nap she will be shouting "MOM!" from downstairs as I go up the stairs with Ian. I get really frustrated, and then I try to remind myself that she's only 21 months old. I think it's easy to have unrealistic expectations for your oldest child once the second child arrives. She seems SO big compared to him that I think sometimes I expect something that isn't reasonable for a child under the age of two. She's still rather young herself!

Yesterday was a glorious day! Ian's first nap was 45 minutes long, and his second was one hour long! YAHOO! I took Nadia outside during the first nap. I played with her some and also got some yard work done (for example shoveled and carted a few wheelbarrow loads of dirt). We were going to put the dirt in the holes left by two bushes I wanted to get rid of, but since it took all day to dig out two small bushes, I no longer have any desire to ever remove these two big ones. They can just stay put! We weren't sure what to do with all this dirt. I put 4 loads up close to the shed around the two sides that are not in the area enclosed by the fence. It's really not ideal but at least only a little grass will be killed and more importantly Nadia won't be climbing a mountain of dirt anymore. We need to spread some grass seed where the dirt used to be as it obviously killed all the grass. I put 3 loads in the flower bed in the front yard, and I didn't quite finish the task due to time constraints and also because Paul said he might use some of it to level the area where we're going to put her sandbox. During Ian's second nap, Nadia was also napping. This was the first time in a long time that the overlap between their two naps exceeded 20 minutes. I printed some coupons in Paul's office, did some cleaning downstairs, and then went outside and worked on that dirt pile some more. I will definitely be able to get more accomplished around the house if I can have one hour a day when both are napping. Since I got a decent amount of sleep the previous night, I wasn't tempted to take a nap. It actually was a good feeling to know I could take a nap but didn't feel the need to take one. Life is starting to get in a more sustainable rhythm. :-)

Gabby was here for about 90 minutes. During that time I worked on weeding and mulching. I spread about half of the mulch.  I'm hoping today to make some more progress. The lawn still needs to be mowed, but I don't think that will be happening today.

 The only problem with my shopping trip was that I called Paul on the way there and when I he told me Ian was still up I asked him to not give him more milk so I could nurse him when I got home. Well Ian ended up screaming for 15 minutes and didn't nurse much when I got home. I think he just wanted to go to bed. His first stretch was about 7 hours, and I think it would have been longer if he had gone to bed earlier. Also, I had clogged ducts that kept me up for awhile. I had planned to pump when I got home. Next time I'll stick to that plan as he didn't nurse enough. His second stretch was only one hour long, and I didn't fall back asleep right away so I am feeling tired this morning.

The Snugli

When Ian first came home from the hospital, he didn't mind me putting him in the sling, but as soon as he got out of "sleep all the time" mode, he screamed when he was in it. Nadia was happy in the sling for a few months. Next I tried the Ultimate Baby Wrap. He definitely preferred that to the sling, but I have a hard time putting it on properly. I can't seem to get it tight enough that it stays put. If Paul helps me then I can use it, but generally when I want to use it he's not around, and it doesn't work for him to put it on me in the morning before he leaves as it doesn't stay on properly especially when I have to fiddle with it to nurse Ian. So aside from church, I haven't been taking both kids anywhere by myself. For church I have Ian in the infant car seat and hold Nadia's hand while we walk from the car to the building. That wouldn't work at the grocery store. I can't shop and hold Nadia's hand, and I doubt she'd hold my hand throughout an entire shopping trip. So I've been only doing shopping when Paul is home so that I can leave Ian at home and just take Nadia with me. That usually means only going to the grocery store on Saturdays.

Yesterday I decided I wanted to try to take them both with me to CVS. I decided to give the Snugli a whirl. He screamed on the way there (it's only about 5 minutes from our home) and continued to scream while I was shopping. I had him in the Snugli and Nadia in the cart. Thankfully after a few minutes of screaming he fell asleep. I guess I need to stick with just shopping with Nadia for a bit longer. Eventually he'll need to get used to being in the Snugli while we shop. The first few times I used the Snugli I had a hard time figuring out how to wear that device as well. At least I've mastered that one. I am  not very "mechanically oriented."

Speaking of which, I need to learn how to start the lawn mower myself. I have never been good at starting machines that involve yanking a rope. I asked one of the neighbors to come to our house after she gets home from school to watch the kids so I can finish weeding and then put the mulch down that is currently in a pile on our driveway. I'd also like to relocate the pile of dirt, but I might be underestimating (again) how much can be accomplished in a certain time span. When I feel badly that I need to hire a babysitter to help me so that I am able to get yard work done, I am trying to remember Joy's encouraging comment that taking care of two little ones is a big accomplishment in and of itself. :-) I have more success getting schoolwork done during the day than I do housework, but that's because I can grade papers and nurse Ian at the same time whereas I can't nurse him and mow the lawn. Once he gets better about being in the Snugli I think I'll mow the lawn during Nadia's nap while he's in the Snugli. I don't always want to have to pay someone to babysit so I can do yard work, but I shall do so today.

Last night was a good night for Ian. He slept 7.75 hours and after nursing for an hour slept 1.5 hours. Anything that exceeds 9 hours total is a good night in my opinion as it means I was in bed at least 8 hours. I'll be home all day aside from choir rehearsal tonight so I'm planning to work on his ability to take naps in his crib today. I also want to spend a lot of time outside today and tomorrow since it will be a lot cooler starting on Friday. The best news regarding Ian is that he now weighs 9lb 3oz!!! WOOHOO! He gained over 3 ounces the past 2 days! That's a big improvement considering over the 8 days before that he only gained 2 ounces. This makes me feel a big sense of relief about my idea to supplement a bit more. The past two days he's had 9-10 ounces by bottle (some of it formula and some of it EBM). I don't think he'll stay at that pace the next few days since Monday and Tuesday are the days I'm separated from him for 5 hours a day those two days, but I am thinking he should probably continue to have at least 6 ounces a day by bottle. I would be thrilled if he could get to 10lbs before his next doctor appt (which is in 2 weeks).

Champions!

I have a very happy hubby because Duke won their 4th NCAA championship last night!!! The last time they won was in 2001. That's the last time I bought him a sweatshirt. If he wore them more often, I'd buy him more of them, but in a span of 2 years he wears one less than 5 times. It will be fun shopping for Duke stuff for him for Christmas. The sweatshirt I got him in 2001 lists the 3 championships. I want to get him a new one that lists the dates of the four championships!

Ian didn't have that great of a night last night. His first stretch was only 5 hours long. I much prefer getting up at 4am over getting up at 1am to feed him. Thankfully his second stretch was longer than usual (2.75 hours), but altogether he slept less than 8 hours compared to almost 10 hours the past 2 nights. I didn't go to bed right when he did because I was thinking I could stay up a bit later if he's going to start sleeping 10 hours. So I am a tired Mommy who had a headache again this morning after enjoying two mornings without one. The good news is that his naps were MUCH better today in the Nap Nanny. I consider any nap that exceeds 40 minutes to be a great nap for Ian, and his second nap was actually a little over 1 hour long. Progress!

Although I've been enjoying the unseasonably warm weather, our classrooms have become saunas. I am expecting to melt again tonight. Today and tomorrow the outside temps are supposed to reach close to 90 degrees (is it August already?). We're in for a rude awakening as on Friday and Saturday temps are supposed to return to "normal" which means highs in the 50's. Although I'll miss the warmer outside temps, it should make the classroom a lot more comfortable next Monday night. It's been fun to have Nadia wear her summer clothes for a few days. The shorts she wore last week were too big around her waist but she's had on 4 pair of shorts this week (size 24 month) that fit perfectly. One outfit I didn't leave on her because the top was too big, but the other three outfits the top and bottom fit perfectly. Aside from needing a bathing suit, she's set for clothes to wear in Florida next month and also to wear this summer. She's been enjoying wearing her sunglasses and necklaces. She puts them on herself. Today she's also been wearing Ian's wrist rattles that he got for Easter. When he gets bigger I'll be sure to intervene and make sure his sister doesn't claim all of his gifts. I don't think the makers of wrist rattles have marketed them for toddlers, but Nadia loves wearing them, LOL!

Unexpected Tears

The church service yesterday was really nice. It was 1.75 hours long, but that was because of all the wonderful music. They kept the announcements super short. I wish that was the norm. Anyhow a men's quartet sang "Then came the morning" (great song!), a 7 year old sang a solo, the choir sang 3 songs (one with trumpet), and the children's choir sang one song. Plus of course there was a sermon, congregational singing, communion, etc. I sang with the choir for 2 of the songs. Tears streamed down my face during the last one. I love the song and was very moved by it. They were happy tears, but still it caught me off guard. Over the past 2 years I've noticed I cry in response to music FAR more easily. I have chalked it up to hormones in the past, but now I am wondering if that is still the case? You'd think my hormones would have leveled out by now since Ian is almost 4 months old. I was smiling while I was singing so I think if anyone saw the tears they would have realized they were happy ones.

The tears that have surprised me the most the past few months though have been over the first baby we lost in 2005. He or she would have turned 4 in February (if that child had been born on his/her due date). I don't recall this happening after having Nadia. I have no idea why, but many times I keep thinking of that child and crying over the loss. I look at my children and wonder what features that baby would have had in common with Ian and Nadia. Did he/she have blue eyes like they both do? Would that child have had brown hair like Ian or blonde like Nadia? (etc.) I feel badly referring to my pregnancy with Ian as my second pregnancy. The doctors always referred to it as my third, yet most of the time I think of Ian's as my second even though when I stop and think about it I consider it to be my fourth. The doctors definitely acknowledged the first pregnancy (2005), but they wouldn't call the fresh transfer (August 2007) to be a pregnancy. Yet if we had conceived the normal way, and I had gotten an early ++ hpt and then not been "late," they would call that an early miscarriage (some call it a chemical pregnancy, which means it was never verified by ultrasound). So to me when you have an ivf transfer and lose all the babies, that's another early miscarriage. You DID have babies growing inside you for a short time. Of course many couples probably never even know of these babies that they lost in these early stages. I think that's what is different with ivf. You definitely know. I have an ultrasound showing the three moving within me during that transfer. So actually I know of 6 babies who were alive within my womb at one time but I never met (1 in 2005, 3 in 2007, and 2 in 2009).

The one I grieve for the most though is the one that the doctors gave me an EDD for. The one that resulted in me seeing a postive hpt for the first time after ttc for 3 years. I keep feeling badly when I refer to Nadia as my oldest child. I have a four year old child in heaven. Nadia isn't my oldest, but she is my oldest child here on earth. I still have no idea though why these thoughts and emotions have come up so much lately. I also feel guilty when they do as if somehow grieving these losses means I am not appreciating Ian and Nadia. I am extremely grateful for them! Yesterday was one of those moments when the tears fell in remembrance of our first child. Thankfully it happened while I was nursing Ian in private at church. I was reading the bulletin and some of the Easter flowers were in honor of a couple in the choir "for their first child." It was their way of announcing they are expecting a  baby in November. This will be the pastor's first grandchild so he proudly showed the ultrasound pic during the morning service on the large screen. When I read their happy news the very first thought that popped into my head was that I never got to meet my first child, and then of course I felt badly for having a sad response to their happy news. I know some of you who read my blog have also had miscarriages. Have any of you had a similar experience? Since I am not understanding why I am having all these thoughts lately I just wondered if anyone else had gone through the same thing. Maybe it's because after having Nadia I knew we'd be doing ivf again but I know we won't be doing it again after having Ian? Maybe it's because with Nadia only one embryo was transferred so there was no loss involved in her transfer whereas with Ian we transferred three?

I was expecting to shed some tears over my decision to start supplementing, but I haven't thus far. Please pray that I can handle this emotionally. One thing that helped was once today when Ian cried when I gave him a bottle and then smiled when instead offered to nurse him. That made my day! It is still my goal to nurse him for at least one year. I am hoping and praying he won't get to the point that he refuses to nurse and only wants bottles. Nadia was about 5.5 months old when she started to prefer the bottle, and she weaned herself off of me shortly before she turned 7 months old. One thing I am doing to try to deter that with Ian is that I'm giving him his formula cold. I hope the warmth of my milk appeals to him. I decided to start supplementing because he's no longer even gaining 1/2 ounce a day. As of yesterday in seven days he had gained only 1.5 ounces. He was supposed to hit 9lbs on Friday if he was gaining 1/2 ounce a day, but as of yesterday he still was less than 9lbs. He did gain 1/2 ounce yesterday so in the last 8 days he gained 2 ounces. Not Good. Hopefully he'll hit 9lbs tomorrow. I know my milk is better for him than formula, but it's more important that he continues to grow and isn't hungry. I am giving him a special formula that's for premature/low birth weight babies that has more calories than "regular" formula. Thanks to Regina, I got a free case of it. The only instance in which I'll regret my decision is if he doesn't start gaining weight faster. Please pray he starts gaining weight!!! I have no idea what exactly has caused this problem - his spitting up, the fact he was premature, the shield, the retained placenta, etc., but I hope this proves to be the right decision.

The kids made out like bandits yesterday! I was feeling a little guilty for not buying them anything for Easter aside from the VeggieTale egg decorations for Nadia, but next year I think I'll get Nadia a chocolate bunny or something like that. The kids got TONS of stuff though! Yesterday before leaving for Paul's parents I saw that there were two large bunnies (the first and fourth one in the third picture) on our front porch. I guessed they were from our neighbors (who babysit the kids), and I was right. How sweet!! Ian is pictured above next to his bunny. Then they got a lot more stuff from Paul's family as Paul's brother and sister-in-law gave them the bunny and lamb (second and third stuffed animals in the third picture) with a bunch of goodies in the baskets attached to the stuffed animals. Nadia has had a blast playing with the tupperware dishes, glasses, and cake serving pan that were included in her bunny from Aunt Millie & Uncle Al. I had never seen anything like that before! She also has enjoyed the sunglasses and sidewalk chalk that were in her basket from Grandma and PopPop. It was cool out this morning, but it's supposed to be warm again the next few days. The high on Wednesday is supposed to be 86 degrees! I am thinking of asking Gabby (neighbor) to watch the kids for an hour or two when she gets home from school on Wednesday so that I can put the mulch on the flower bed and under our trees. We bought 2 scoops, and it's sitting in a pile on our driveway right now. I also need to finish mowing the lawn as I only mowed a small section on Saturday. I can't really do those things while watching a toddler and infant.

Ian slept all the way to their house yesterday which was impressive considering he had also slept through the last part of the church service. That was a long nap for him! Nadia slept for one hour of the trip on the way down. On the way back Ian screamed for about 15 minutes and then slept for 45 minutes. Nadia was awake for the first half and then slept the last 25 minutes. Paul's mom made a delicious meal. We took some ham home so I am still enjoying that meal! I was hoping to get some good pics of the kids together and possibly also with me yesterday, but that didn't happen since Nadia slept in so long. There wasn't time for pictures. As it was we were a bit late to Sunday School, but the nursery worker was even later so it didn't matter that we were late. I loved Nadia's dress and she also was wearing a pink hat, white tights, and her sparkly pink shoes. I am thinking I'll have her wear that outfit for her 2 year pictures at Sears so I will eventually hopefully get a good picture of her in it! She was the only one wearing a new outfit. Ian was wearing a suit he wore once before, and I am waiting until I lose more weight before I buy a new skirt or dress. I think Ian looked very handsome. He matched me perfectly when I was in my choir robe as my robe and his outfit were the same colors.

Ian had another great night last night! His first stretch was 8.25 hours long and his second was 1.25 hours long. I can definitely get a good night's sleep if he sleeps a total of 9.5 hours. He was asleep by 8pm so I am not sure if I'll be nursing him before he goes to bed tonight. I might be pumping again once I get home. I am going to try to pump twice at school today if possible since I'll be there a little longer than usual due to a training session I am attending from 2-3pm on the new learning management system our university will be using starting in the middle of May. Now if I could get him to take naps longer than 30-40 minutes that would be great. His two naps put together today were less than one hour total. It's hard to do much with Nadia and/or get much cooking, cleaning, etc. done if his naps are that short. I was half-way through making macaroni and cheese when he woke up from his first nap this morning. We'll keep working on that, Ian.

Happy, Happy, Happy Easter!!!

Reasons to be happy today include:

1. First and foremost, because "up from the grave he arose!"  We serve a risen Savior! I am looking forward to celebrating the resurrection this morning. The Maundy Thursday service was very meaningful, but it was also very sad as we focused on all the suffering Christ went through on our behalf. Today we rejoice!!!

2. Ian slept 8.5 hours straight!!! I was going to keep him up later last night, but I was having a hard time keeping him up. At 7:50 I put him into his snowsuit (I've been having him sleep in it for the last month instead of using a sleep blanket and swaddling blankets) and he was in such a deep sleep that even putting him into that didn't wake him up (that's a first!). I was worried this meant I'd be starting  my day very early, but I was wrong! I showered (due to the yardwork as normally I shower in the morning) and was in bed by 8:15pm. Aside from getting up to go to the bathroom a couple of times, I was in bed until 4:15am! WOOHOO! I felt great - no headache even though it was 4:15am! I nursed Ian for 75 minutes and then he slept for 80 more minutes. At 6:45am all four of us were still in our respective beds. Wonders never cease!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. We got some yardwork done yesterday. I vastly overestimated how much we could get done in one day; the project took much longer than I expected. We also didn't start quite as early as I'd planned, and since I nurse Ian so much I couldn't help as much as I wanted to, but I am very thankful for what we (mostly Paul) did accomplish. Paul's mom did give Ian one (four ounce) bottle of formula so that I could spend a bit of time outside helping Paul. Nadia had a blast at the playground with Shawn and PopPop, and she also was in seventh heaven digging in the dirt from the front flower bed. Paul dug up and relocated two bushes from that bed. There were four bushes super duper close to each other and then a HUGE gap without any bushes. I asked Paul to move two of them so they'd be more spaced out. He did a great job, but it took many hours. He also removed more ground cover from that area. I'm going to have to rethink the yard "to do" list as honestly I think some of it will need to wait until 2011, but we will tackle a couple more things on the list sometime this spring/summer. Several neighbors mowed their lawn yesterday.

4. The weather was perfect for doing yardwork yesterday! I'm already getting a tan (for example the skin on my feet where my sandal straps are is pale in comparison to the parts exposed to the sun), and it's only April 4th. I think that's a first, LOL! It's good though in light of going to Florida in May. We'll be less likely to get sunburned on vacation. I am very grateful for this gorgeous weather. I honestly would love to live some place where the temps were like this year round, but I doubt we'll actually ever leave Pennsylvania so I'd better just enjoy this weather each spring and fall. :-)

5. Nadia was in bed last night for almost 12.5 hours! She was super duper fussy after her grandparents left so I took her up at 7:15 whereas lately we've been taking her up between 7:45-8:00pm.

6. Today we get to spend time with Paul's family! I'm thankful they only live about an hour away. It will be Ian's first trip to their house. I'm hoping Ian will sleep during both car rides.

Bumps and Bushes

A couple of times recently I have noticed some red bumps on Nadia - mostly on her legs. This morning they are back (on her arms this time), and they look much worse than ever before. It looks like she has poison ivy or something like that. She hasn't complained, and I haven't seen her itching them, but it looks unpleasant to me. Paul put something on her arms that hopefully will help. I hope it doesn't spread any farther.

Today is the day for serious yardwork to be done. We did a little last spring, but aside from mowing the lawn we haven't done much since we moved in about 18 months ago. Today we're relocating some bushes, removing some bushes, removing some ground cover, mowing the lawn, removing the large pile of dirt the fence installers left from digging the posts for the fence, etc. Paul's parents and our nephew, Shawn, are coming up in Paul's dad's truck so that Paul can take the truck to a local lawn & garden store to get a load of mulch for the flower beds. I'm not going to plant flowers quite yet as although it has been warm lately I know that we might still get another frost. It's usually safer to wait until May to plant flowers.  Paul picked up the sandbox last night on his way home (from someone through Craigslist) and also stopped at Walmart for some sand. This was perfect timing as otherwise Nadia would really have missed the dirt pile. I know sand can be messy, but it won't be as messy as her sitting on and climbing up a pile of dirt/mud! Paul's parents are going to take Nadia to the playground after her afternoon nap while Paul & I are doing yardwork.

Yesterday Ian had one bottle. While I was eating dinner, I had Paul give him the 3 ounces I had pumped Thursday night. I felt like I nursed him nonstop. I also started up the Fenugreek again yesterday. If Ian can't start going longer periods of time without nursing I think I need to start supplementing. I just can't keep nursing him so many hours a day. The longest break I ever get in between nursing sessions is typically never more than 45 minutes. I could handle nursing him every 3 hours or something like that, but I nurse him far more than that. Hopefully I can stop feeling like a failure if I need to supplement. My theory of putting him to bed earlier didn't work. It just meant my day started at 4:55am. Tonight I'll go back to putting him to bed closer to 9pm. Between the hours of 7:50pm and 4:55am he slept a little over 8 hours. His first stretch was about 6 hours and his second about 2 hours long. I did get him to sleep in my arms from 5:30-6:15am, and he probably would have kept sleeping in my arms if I hadn't needed to go to the bathroom. So if he wakes up that early again, maybe I'll try to get him to have a third stretch in his Nap Nanny.

1,200th Post

1. I need to bring one of the potties back into the family room as Nadia has been announcing ahead of time when she needs to poop. In fact this morning she went so far as to go get me one of her diapers (some of hers and some of Ian's are on the kitchen table and she brought me one of hers) and then went and got me the box of wipes. She did all this before she started pushing. She definitely knows ahead of time when she is going to poop so maybe we can work on getting her trained with #2 before we work on #1.

2. She now understands about throwing garbage in the trash can. If she finds a little piece of paper on the floor, she brings it to me, says "garbage," and points to the trash can.

3. I was shocked this morning to discover she also understands what a grocery list is. She was eating some raisins and was upset when I told her they were all gone so I showed her the empty raisin canister to help her understand we truly didn't have any more in the house. She then walked into the kitchen and got a pen and my grocery list off of the kitchen table. I had been working on the list yesterday during her nap and had already written raisins on the list. She handed me the pen and paper and said, "raisins." I pretended to write it down. I am stunned she understands the concept of writing what we need down on a piece of paper. Maybe she's going to be "list oriented" like her Mommy, LOL! I didn't think my 21 month old would be helping me with my grocery list that's for sure!

4. Ian has progressively slept less and less the past four nights. We went from 9.5 hours to 9 hours to 8.5 hours to last night 7.25 hours. Last night his first stretch was 6.25 hours long and after nursing for 40 minutes he only slept 1 more hour. He had gone to bed later than usual (9:10) due to the fact I didn't get home until 8:50 from the Maundy Thursday service at church. He was crying when I came home, but as soon as I held him he went to sleep. I think he wanted Mommy more than he wanted more milk as he barely nursed at all. I kept jiggling him trying to keep him awake to get him to nurse, but it was pointless. I'm going to put him to bed closer to 8pm tonight and see if that helps. I'm wondering if he wakes up sometime between 3:15-3:45am no matter what time I put him down?

5. What made last night a REALLY rough night was that I had a bad case of insomnia. I had been thinking throughout the day about maybe offering him a bottle after I nurse him to see if he needs more than he can get from me. He can't seem to drink fast enough when he's given a bottle, and he always is very upset when the bottle is done. I know my milk is better than formula, but I sure hate to think I'm starving the little guy. When I see other babies who are 4 weeks older than him and weigh almost twice as much as he does (happened twice in the past 5 days), I just feel like I need to do something to fatten him up. However once I got home and found out how much Paul had given him during the 2 hours I was away from home last night, I wanted to throw all the formula and bottles away. He drank 7 ounces in 2 hours. A baby this size is supposed to consume about 22 ounces a day so that's a huge percentage of his daily intake. I had given him 2 ounces at the park so that Nadia could enjoy the playground (as typically the longest period of time I go without nursing him during the day is 40 minutes) so I was upset that he had 9 ounces by bottle yesterday - the most ever. Just last Sunday he had only 2 ounces the whole day. Since I couldn't sleep I came down and pumped 3 ounces, and I packed up the formula and bottles and put them in the basement and said he wouldn't be getting any more bottles until Monday when I am at work. I thought maybe I should start taking him with me to choir or stop going so that the only time I am separated from him is on Mondays and Tuesdays when I'm at work. I tried to sleep again and when I still couldn't sleep I resorted to cleaning the bathrooms. I don't think I've ever done that activity at midnight before. I figured if I couldn't sleep I might as well get something accomplished, and house cleaning hasn't been a priority lately. I have no idea why I got so upset. I wish feeding him wasn't such an emotionally charged issue for me. I seem to swing from one opposite idea to the other. I think Paul thought I had lost my mind. I knew I was being irrational. Anyhow pray for me to have wisdom as to what to do. At the moment I am thinking I am going to try to be separated from him as little as possible and see what the Pediatrician says at his 4 month appt in 2.5 weeks. If the right thing to do is to give him more formula, I hope it won't be so hard for me. Anyhow I got less than 4 hours of sleep last night, which is definitely not good.

6. I was going to let Ian cry this morning, but Daddy intervened. So his two naps that he's taken thus far today have been in my arms. It's hard to help Nadia get in the swing while holding Ian, plus he's too little to wear sunscreen so I am was thinking it would be good to take her outside while Ian naps in his crib. I should add that I was in the shower when Daddy went and got him. I probably would have caved and done the same thing if I had heard him crying. The ironic thing is that Paul has suggested we do CIO with him quite a few times over the past 3 months. I do love holding the guy, I just feel badly that Nadia has gotten very little of my attention the past 3.5 months. She's big compared to him, but she's still a little girl who needs time with her Mommy.

7. Nadia loves to see dogs when we go for our daily walk in the stroller. She loves it when some of the people that we pass bring their dogs up to her. I think we are definitely going to own a dog some day (considering Paul also is a dog lover). I had better get used to the idea, LOL!

8. The Curious George stuffed animal came in the mail yesterday that I got through my membership with the local PBS station. Nadia loves it!! "Monkey" is definitely her favorite tv show although her favorite thing to watch continues to be VeggieTales.

9. If you tell Nadia that she's funny, she will immediately start laughing. She reminds me of Paul who laughs at his own jokes even if no one else is laughing, but then his laughter causes others to laugh as well. :-) One of her favorite "inside jokes" is to say "mott." She said this once while pointing to the pantry and got very frustrated when Paul & I couldn't figure out what she meant. Now she says it just to be funny. After she says "mott" I always say, "What's mott?," and then she bursts into laughter. She has a great sense of humor! I wonder if we'll ever know what she was referring to the first time she said it (before it became a joke)?

10. The weather has been GLORIOUS since Wednesday, and it's supposed to stay like this for the next few days. Yes, spring continues to be my favorite season!!!

11. I've had Nadia in 24 month and 2T short outfits for the first time the past couple of days. The shirts fit her perfectly and the length of the shorts is just right, but it turns out she has a small waist. The top of her diaper is showing because they slide down (not all the way off like happens with her brother's 0-3 month size pants). Tomorrow I plan to have her wear a pair of short coveralls. Those will fit better. Since she is around the 80th percentile for weight, I wouldn't have expected her waist to be too small for size 24 months. In the past if something hasn't fit it's been because the sleeves or pant legs were too long.

12. Nadia loves stepping into either Paul's tennis shoes or my sandals, and now she can actually walk around the house in them. It's a hoot to watch her do it!

Naps

This morning I had to work VERY hard to get Ian to take his morning nap. For about 30 minutes I kept running up and popping in his pacifier. Then I nursed him again and put him back down, and then I nursed him a third time and put him back down, and the third time was the charm. He slept for a little over an hour! This was his longest nap in the Nap Nanny in quite awhile. My efforts were rewarded. The main reason I want him to take naps in there is so that I can have one-on-one time with Nadia. He only lasted 15 minutes in his crib for his second nap, but since Nadia was also napping I let him finish that nap on the boppy on my lap.

Out of the Mouth of Babes...

Wednesday night is the one night Paul usually puts Nadia to bed since I'm at choir rehearsal. We have a little Bible book that we are using as one of the books we read at bedtime. Last night Paul was telling her about Jacob's ladder, and Nadia kept pointing to the picture of the angels on the ladder. What was funny was that every time she did this she referred to them as "Mommy." I'm so touched that Nadia thinks I'm an angel. LOL!

Yesterday afternoon while I was nursing Ian, Nadia said, "made mess again." Thankfully the mess she was referring to was the fact that she had dropped 5 crayons on the floor. I can handle that kind of mess! I had her pick the crayons up. It cracked me up though that she said "again." I guess she's now aware that she frequently makes messes! :-)

Ian makes the sweetest sounds when he coos. I will hopefully get a good little video of that in the near future. He's such a sweetheart!

Monday night was still the best night ever, but Ian has now had three good nights in a row. The first stretch has been between 6.5-7 hours long each night, and the second has been 2-2.5 hours long. The total time he's been asleep has varied from 8.5 (last night) to 9.5 (Monday night) hours. I've been in bed for at least 8 hours the past 3 nights!!! My body got the message and last night was the first I didn't have clogged ducts and hadn't been leaking all over the place when he woke up for his 3am feeding. He only had one (40 minute) nap in the Nap Nanny yesterday because of other naps he had in the stroller and carseat.

I took the kids for a walk around 11am and then Nadia played in the backyard a bit before we came inside. After her afternoon nap we went to a playground we hadn't been to before. She LOVED it! A day care center was there for an Easter egg hunt. They let Nadia pick up a few plastic eggs. I am sure she wishes I had let her pick up more of them as boy did she like eating the candy that was inside! Some other moms came and went during the time we were there (more than an hour). I can see that going to the playground is probably also a chance for me to have adult conversation. We would have stayed longer, but it was time to feed Ian. That would be one advantage of bottle feeding him more. It was in the low 70's - just perfect! I am sure we'll be back at this playground from time to time. There's another one only 1/2 mile from our house that was just built. Once that one opens it will probably be the one we go to the most often. It might get up to 80 degrees today so I am sure we'll be outside again!