Thank you, Wendy for keeping the blog updated, and thank you to everyone for the congratulation messages!!! I'll back up to Sunday and say that in light of the pains I was having in the morning, I stayed home all day (didn't even go to church). I was on the couch almost the whole day. Monday I did go to the doctor in the morning. Turns out I was right that I was experiencing the "bloody show;" the OB didn't think I was anywhere near delivery. I was more concerned that I was as I wanted her to stay inside until 37 weeks. So again I took it easy that day with the exception that I did teach Monday night. I got home from class, did some grading, and then went to bed. About an hour later I woke up as I realized my water had broken while I was sleeping. I was very thankful the carseat had already been installed in the car, and I was very thankful that I was almost done packing and had a brief list prepared of what needed to be added at the last minute. The contractions didn't start for about 20 minutes after my water broke so I had time to help Paul (who was in a bit of state of shock) finish packing. We got to the hospital about 1 hour after my water had broken. The contractions were about 6 minutes apart. They said I was 1-2cm dilated, 60% effaced, and baby was in station -2 (head down).
Eventually I got into a room; unfortunately none of the ones with jacuzzi tubs were available. We were seen by quite a few different doctors and nurses during this time as we came shortly before the shift changes. After about 3 hours of contractions I asked if I could have an epidural. My main reason for wanting was that I knew others had been able to sleep through contractions with one and I was really tired (it was about 2am and I think I was about 4cm dilated). However, the anesthesiologist, after reviewing my charts said he did not feel comfortable giving me anything in my spine in light of my platlet problem. They put a little pain medication in my IV which they said wouldn't decrease the pain of the contractions but would help me rest more in between them. That was an accurate description of the effects it had on me. I was given those meds 3 times over the next 12+ hours. The contractions were very regular the whole night - usually 5 minutes apart. The first part wasn't SO bad. When I started to get really uncomfortable was when I got to 8-9 cm dilated. I think it was about 5am.
From that point on it was a BIG battle for me not to push when I had the contractions. I tried breathing, focusing, etc. and sometimes was succesful and other times I still pushed a little. Paul was my coach every five minutes. He said "breathe" more times on that day then probably his whole life put together, lol! At first they were checking me every 30 minutes or so to see if I had gotten to 10cm, but then they recognized I had hit a plateau and it was probably going to be awhile. Around noon I got to the point where I was only left with a "lip" and then by 12:45 they almost let me start pushing, but there was still a partial lip on only one side so they suggested I wait til 1:15. At 1:15 I was declared fully dilated. I had been fully effaced for a LONG time. So I was finally given permission to start pushing only to discover that Nadia was still in -2 station and she needed to come down first. So they got me in a more vertical position to let gravity help and said I could push whenever I wanted to but that I'd do this part on my own. They let me do this for 1 hour, and during that time I got her so her head was down low where it needed to be.
So then at 2:15 the assisted pushing began with Paul holding one leg and Yvonne (my nurse since about 11am) holding the other. I pushed with every contraction and they could see her head and hair. Yvonne realized Nadia was face up so she had me try different positions to get her to flip around. After about an hour of pushing, they put some pitocin in my IV to see if that might help. Three times over the next 2 1/2 hours they upped the dosage of pitocin I was on. I was of course getting very tired. I had been in labor since 11pm and never had the benefit of an epidural. I am not a night owl so losing a night of sleep was making it really hard for me to function, but somehow everytime I'd have a contraction I'd have the strength to push even though I'd think I was completely drained of energy. Around 4:15 - after 3 hours of pushing, a whole group of doctors came in - several OBs and several pediatricians since she was preterm (they define as before 37w and I was 36w4d). Her head could be seen all the time at this point so Yvonne hoped the delivery was near. Of course so did I!!! Well unfortunately I could push her head out some, but I could not get her out all the way. They tried a vacuum on her three times which scared the daylights out of Paul as the thing would fly off her head when they were pulling and Nadia was staying inside. After trying 3 times they said I needed a c-section because baby's head had been down there too long and also because it had now been 19 hours since my water had broken which is not good when you are GBS positive. I had been on penicllin by IV the whole labor but still they said she needed out ASAP.
This was of course very discouraging for me as after having contractions for 19 hours without an epidural and pushing as hard as I could for 3 1/2 hours, I really wanted to give birth w/o a c-section. It was a very scary few minutes as I was still having VERY strong contractions (had recently had another dosage of pitocin for one thing) and now they did not want me to push again as the had pushed Nadia's head back inside me. They were wanting me to sign forms and asking permission to do a hysterectomy if my bleeding was too bad. It was very overwhelming. They wheeled me down, and Paul was not allowed to join me. The anesthesiologist (a different one) said I needed general anesthesia in light of the platlet problem. So in between very strong contractions (baby's head was still practically crowning - they had the monitors on her head instead of my belly) when I had to fight the urge to push, I am trying to explain my medical history (aspiration which lead to lungs collapsing due to general anesthesia when I was in middle school). I hadn't eaten for 24 hours at this point which was a good thing. It was so hard to manouver and get myself on the OR table and such in the middle of these contractions.
Well they put me under and at 5:40pm she was born. I didn't get to see her until 9pm, but Paul and his parents (who arrived while I was headed to the OR) got to see her right away which was nice. Everyone thinks she's so cute. Of course we are biased, LOL! She has some bruising on her head and face from the vacuum, and her right eye is a bit swollen from that as well, but those side effects will go away shortly. Since I was sleeping from the anesthesia, they asked for Paul's permission for her to have a bottle of formula. Her first blood sugar level was good, but her second was not so they said she needed to eat long before I'd be up to nursing her. One cool thing about her birthday (6-24) is that Paul's bday is 1-3 and mine is 4-21 and 21+3=24. :-)
She spent the first night in the nursery. I had hoped to keep her in my room, but that wasn't possible as she was having a little trouble breathing and needed to be closely monitored. Wed morning the pediatrician said she needed to be transferred to NICU. This brought me to tears. They were doing b/w which takes 48 hours to see if she had an infection as that was one theory for her breathing problems which were getting worse not better. They also started her on antibiotics just in case she needed them, and they would stop them on Friday morning if her b/w showed she didn't have an infection. Thankfully a nurse did bring her by for me to see her for a few minutes before they took her to NICU. I got barely any sleep on Tuesday night as they came in to do something to me every 30-60 minutes the whole night. So I lost two nights of sleep at this point. I was also VERY hungry as I hadn't eaten in 36 hours. I kept asking for food so finally about 4:45am they gave me some toast which tied me over until breakfast at 8am.
I discovered on Wed that I was very weak and swollen. I could barely move my arms or hands. I had pulled with all my strength during the pushing time and my arms, shoulders, etc were like dishrags. Thankfully over time I am regaining the use of my arms and such although they are still very pooped! The swelling has increased over time. I have never seen my legs and knees and such so huge!!! The doctor said it might take 2 weeks for the swelling to go away completely. I was on a pain pump for 24 hours, and then they switched me to Percocet. For about 24 hours I had an IV in each arm, but yesterday before dinner they removed one IV completely and now they only hook up the other one for my dosages of antibiotics. They also removed the dressings over the incisions and the catheter at that time. I was able to get a shower which felt great as during labor I had sweated so much that every inch of my hair was dripping wet (and I have very thick hair).
The first time we went to NICU, Nadia was on a CPAP machine at level 5 (6 is the highest) plus an IV and monitors. She was even having trouble taking a bottle so they switched to an IV. It was hard to see her with so much paraphanelia. Thankfully the next time we went to see her, they had taken her off the CPAP and she was doing a lot better with her breathing. I have been pumping every 2-3 hours round the clock, but I didn't get started until 1pm yesterday so I lost about 19 hours of the first critical 72 hours. I am hoping today to be able to try to nurse her. I will have to check with her doctor this morning when they do her rounds. Once she was off the CPAP we were allowed to hold her which was wonderful. Paul went once by himself (and watched her have her first bath which she hated, LOL), and I went twice with him (by wheelchair). She is still sensitive from all the bruising, but once she's in a position she's calm. She has the cutest lips!! Her hair is dark brown like Paul's was when he was born (mine was blond at birth and stayed that way for a few years). We love her SOOOO much and can't wait to take her home!!! It's so nice to be able to hold her now that she's off the CPAP.
Thankfully they only interrupted me once last night (midnight) so I was able to sleep much better although I still got up every 2 hours to pee and pump. I do miss the catheter in that sense as getting up to pee is quite a painful thing. But at least I'm not going as often as I did while pg! Well we are off to see Nadia now. We are sooo happy our princess has arrived and we hope she can be discharged asap. I will still be admitted until tomorrow at least.
The plan is that Nadia will be discharged tomorrow. She was taken off the phototherapy at noon today. They put a newborn size sleeper on her, and it's too big! She weighs 5 lb 14 oz so she has lost 4 oz since birth (5 grams since yesterday). I don't own any newborn size sleepers - just onesies. We need to go shopping and buy some NB size clothing for her. All my sleepers are size 0-3 months. To be honest, even the NB outfits I brought are big on her. I probably should buy a couple of things in preemie size. Today she received her first immunization shot, and she also had a hearing test which she passed. She is sleeping right now, and once she wakes up I will feed her and then she'll have a 2 hour sleep test in her car seat.
Tomorrow morning I have an OB appt (down one floor from NSCU) to have my staples removed. Of course I am tired from losing a lot of sleep, but mostly I feel pretty good physically. I am very glad to be rid of the heartburn. I had a horrible case of it during labor. I kept having it come up in my mouth, but that was the last of it. I can again eat whatever I want to eat and not suffer for it! My tummy has shrunk a lot but isn't back to pre-pg size yet (of course). My thighs are back to normal (swelling gone) but from the knees down I still have a crazy amount of swelling. I cannot move my ankles and my feet are so distorted I cannot put them flat on the ground. I've had a hard time finding a pair of socks that will go on my feet. I walk around in socks - even in the rain outside when we were at the Ronald McDonald House as there aren't any shoes I can put more than my toe inside. They hurt BIG TIME. I'm hoping they return to normal soon. I am getting better about movements in light of my incisions, but of course it's still slow going when I try to get up from bed and such like that. I think though if my feet weren't so swollen I could at least walk at a reasonable pace.
Well this week there have been many firsts for Paul, Nadia, and I, and that will only continue over the years to come! Today was the first day I changed one of her diapers. This wasn't as momentous to me because I've changed MANY diapers over the last 25 years. It was a bigger deal to me when Paul changed her diaper since it was his first ever diaper change. Neither of us have changed a poopy diaper of hers yet - that first still awaits both of us, lol. Of course nursing is a huge first experience. Thankfully my milk has started to come in today which is big progress. It's much harder for milk to come in when #1 mom has to wait until baby is 2 days old to nurse for the first time, #2 mom didn't pump for the first time until about 19 hours post delivery (even though she asked to nurse or pump many times in there!), and #3 mom's time with baby is very limited especially time to hold her and nurse her (30 minutes a day, 8 times a day). Keeping a baby away from her mom 20 out of 24 hours a day is just not nice IMHO. So that leads me to the most monumental first for me today - the first time I got to just hold my baby for longer than 5 minutes (I am not counting the 4 hours a day of nursing). This evening I started nursing her at 5pm and as her nurse didn't seem so strict about the 30 minute rule, I kept going until 5:45. Then Paul held her some (first time he had seen her today as my mom came in yesterday so Paul went home yesterday). Well then the nurse said Paul could hold her while they did the supplmentation (by a tube through her nose). Then she just let us keep snuggling with her. I have to say this ranks as one of the happiest moments of my entire life - feeling my little one fall asleep on my chest. We had her out of the lights for 1 hour and 45 minutes. It was amazing. Hopefully her bilirubin count will be low enough tomorrow that she can discontinue the phototherapy and we can have MANY more experiences snuggling with her in the very near future. She is just soooo cuddable!!! I wanted to cry tears of joy as it really hit me in that moment - I am a mom...my daughter is nestled on my chest... thank you Lord for this most precious gift!!!
