A Very Long Day

I left the house at 10:00 am and arrived back home at 6:15 pm. In between those hours I had 16 appointments with advisees and participated in one 90 minute committee meeting and one 60 minute faculty meeting. The last couple of hours I was wishing for some Tylenol or Advil as my head was splitting. Ironically, I had carried three things into my office today to make it more personalized - my framed doctoral degree, a name sign, and a framed family photo. I say ironically because when I got to work today I discovered a note on my door stating that my department chair and the Dean wanted to meet with me at 11am. Thankfully my 11:00 student appointment showed up a little early and had a simple question for me so I didn't have to cancel any student appointments to meet with the Dean.
They wanted to meet with me because last night I sent a message to them stating that I would be requesting FMLA leave for the spring semester so that I would only be teaching 2 evening classes. Paul and I had already come to this conclusion earlier, but the news at the hospital yesterday confirmed it in my mind. My understandng of FMLA is that you are allowed 12 weeks per calendar year (and since I'm on a reduced schedule I'm using the equivalent of 8 weeks this semester). The Dean was thinking it's 12 weeks per academic year, which would mean I couldn't use FMLA leave next semester. She said she's going to check with HR and get back to me. I told her that if I can't work part-time that I will resign. I told her I didn't mean it to sound like a threat and that I would of course have to talk about it with my husband first. A few tears fell from my eyes during this conversation. It was really hard for me because my chair really was creative in coming up with a schedule for me for next semester. I am a people pleaser by nature. I wanted to say "yes." I told them that it was very hard for me as I felt like I was being tugged in both directions, but that I must make my children my priority.

One thing I wish I had asked was why the President is so concerned about me working FT next semester (rather than 50% of my load being covered by an adjunct) and yet he hasn't authorized any tenure track faculty to be hired the last few years to replace the 6 tenured/tenure track faculty who have resigned or retired from our department. I don't get it. I have to say at the end of the day I was thinking maybe it's not such a bad thing if I'm told I can't work part-time next semester. I had a splitting headache, was exhausted, and really missed my kiddos. It had been over 10 months since I had been separated from them for that many hours in one day. If I worked FT, I'd be gone even more hours than today for two days a week. Paul's mom had trouble feeding Ian today. It would be a challenge to find someone who could watch the kids and feed Ian every couple of hours. I emailed someone in the union this evening to ask for clarification regarding whether I am correct that we're allowed to take 12 weeks of FMLA each calendar year. I really think I'm correct; so I'm guessing they can't tell me I can't take FMLA next semester. I'm expecting I'll be teaching PT next semester, but it honestly won't be the end of the world if they speed up the timetable of when I become a SAHM.

The strangest part of the conversation with the Dean was when she expressed concerns over me serving on the promotion committee next semester. She thought it entailed more work than I could handle. I assured her that I would be able to handle it. The chair of the committee said that we'll have a couple of really long meetings on Fridays in the spring, but those meetings won't start until around 4pm so that won't be a problem. The rest of the work (reviewing the candidates' applications and materials) I can do at whatever time of day or whatever day of the week I wish as long as I have it done by the deadline he gives us. I am not worried about my ability to fulfill those duties at all, but it really puzzles me why she brought this up today. What does it have to do with FMLA??? I didn't have to go up for this committee. I chose to run, and I was elected, and if I am still teaching next semester, I'll complete the tasks given to me by that committee's chair.

I was really curious about how Ian's nap would go today since he slept over 2 hours in his crib for Paul's parents three weeks ago. They told me that he slept for 30 minutes at first. After letting him cry for 10 minutes, Paul's mom went up and rocked him in the dark room for about 10 minutes and then put him back down in his crib. He then slept for 60 minutes. I'll have to try that trick! I've certainly tried letting him cry, but I've never tried rocking him in his dark bedroom before putting him back down. Then when they brought him down, he slept about 30 minutes on PopPop. So he slept 2 hours total - much longer than he ever sleeps for me although he did sleep for 65 minutes for me yesterday, which was longer than usual. The nice thing is that lately he hasn't been crying At All when I put him down for his nap or at night.

Regina, thanks soooooo much for telling me about duocal. His OT gave me a list of calorie boosting options a few weeks ago, but that wasn't on it. I looked at the link you gave me, and Duocal doesn't contain anything he's been told he can't eat. I am going to weigh him on Tuesday, and if he's losing weight, I'm going to buy some Duocal. I'm relieved to know there is something I can do to boost his calories while his diet is so restricted. The Carnation instant breakfast packets I bought for him are now on the banned list. Thankfully rice milk has more calories than almond milk (although not as much as whole milk). Nadia is having whole milk for the first time in her life (I'm having her finish up the gallon that had been for Ian).