Holding Steady

Friday night Paul's parents were down in the Harrisburg area for Aunt Debbie's birthday. They swung by the hospital on their way home, and Paul's dad ran up to my room to deliver a bag Paul had put together for me (library books, radio, more compression socks, etc.) and to pick up my dirty laundry. I wish I had enough maternity clothes to last two weeks, but I don't. Doing laundry has never been so complicated for me before. I think Paul will need to take a trip to a laundromat down here on Saturday. I didn't do laundry at the Ronald McDonald House, but I could have easily done it there. This is the first time in my life I have been staying for weeks (probably months) somewhere without access to a washing machine or laundromat. If they asked for feedback, I would suggest that they find a way to provide a laundry service for long term patients, even if there was a charge involved, I would definitely take advantage of it. Most of the women in this unit live less than 30 minutes from here so it's not as difficult for them to get their laundry done by a friend or family member. Some of them have the luxury of their husbands sleeping in their room with them every single night. The other service I would greatly prefer over "craft time" (on Tuesdays) and "group therapy" (on Thursdays) would be to bring in a hair stylist once a month or something like that. I'd gladly pay for that service. I've never attended a group therapy meeting, and I've only been to craft time once thus far, and I don't plan on returning.

Last weekend Paul had brought me some fingernail polish and remover. I painted Nadia's fingernails and toenails last weekend. It was something I could do while in bed (I was on the 8th floor then). It's been a very long time since I've painted my fingernails, but I usually have my toenails painted whenever it's warm enough to wear sandals. Saturday morning I used the remover to take the polish off my toenails. Normally I would have repainted them, but it seemed pointless since I'm wearing compression stockings all the time. My toes are almost always hidden. I did paint my fingernails. At home it seems pointless as it doesn't seem to last very long, but I have a feeling the polish will last much longer due to me being in bed 23+ hours a day. Nadia wanted me to paint her nails again yesterday, but there didn't end up being time for that. I did manage to clip their 20 fingernails before they left.

Saturday afternoon a colleague from work came by and spent 90 minutes with me. That was a special treat. Yesterday Paul's parents arrived with the kids and my clean laundry at 2:00. I hadn't seen them in 8 days. I was afraid I'd burst into tears both at the sight of them and also when they left. I didn't cry upon their arrival, but I definitely cried upon their departure at 3:15 with my parents (who had arrived at 2:45). It was wonderful to hug and kiss them. If I had a key and access to a car, I think I'd be walking out of this hospital. It feels like more than I can bear to be separated from them so much. I typically am with them 13 hours a day (7am to 8pm). Over a span of 13 days I will have spent 75 minutes with my kids and 0 minutes with my husband. I felt like my heart was breaking in a million pieces as they left yesterday. One blessing of having spent so much time crying yesterday was that I was totally exhausted and fell asleep very easily last night. I can't seem to sleep past 5am any more, but my definition of a good night's sleep has changed from 8-9 hours (at home) to 5-7 hours (in the hospital). I know they are going to have a good week this week playing with eight cousins, two aunts, three uncles, and two grandparents. I wish with all my heart I was there with my kids, parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews. It will probably be two years until we can all be together again. It's been 2.5 years since the last time we were all together. I haven't seen my sister or her family in more than 2 years. They arrived in the US the end of June, and if I hadn't been on bedrest, I would have driven down to Maryland to see them a few weeks ago. So close and yet so far.

I read online on Saturday that DirecTV signed a deal with Viacom on Friday. The blackout has supposedly ended, but as of this morning the only channel that has been restored here at the hospital is Nickelodeon, which isn't a channel I had been watching. TVLand and the Hallmark channel are two that I am hoping will be restored. They've been blacked out for 13 days thus far. Having a radio has been a huge help. I mostly had the tv on so that I wouldn't sitting in a silent room 24 hours a day. Yesterday I didn't have the tv on but just enjoyed listening to music instead. I also listened to a live broadcast of a worship service at 11am, and it happened to be from the church where I was a member from 2004-2008.

Oliver is quite the little acrobat. The nurses often refer to him as "naughty" because they have to keep moving the fetal monitor to be able to track his heartrate. I not only feel him moving, but most of the time I can also watch different parts of my belly moving. You wouldn't know he was anemic! I feel some sadness when this happens because for months Nadia has been looking forward to feeling him move, and it was thrilling to me to have her so excited about experiencing this. I learned when I was pregnant with Nadia that Paul could care less about feeling a baby kick within me. So it meant even more to me that Nadia really wanted to feel the baby move. I am certain if I had been home the past few weeks that she would have felt him move by now, but now I am very dubious that she'll ever experience it given how little time she and I are spending together this summer.

The good news would be that Oliver's anemia didn't get worse over the past 3 days. He's still in the "mild" category. I think it's still rather dubious that we can wait until next week for the next transfusion, but who knows, maybe Oliver will hold out until Dr. Tressler returns from vacation. It would be awesome if that happened.

Ian has made progress with his eating skills the past couple of weeks. He is now drinking his EleCare out of a regular cup! He's eating Oreo cookies without them being broken into pieces, feeding himself cream of wheat with a spoon, and he's using a fork to feed himself pieces of a banana! Wow! Karen (his OT) will be so amazed to see the progress. I can't wait to see it myself as I've never seen him use a fork or spoon before! One of my sisters used to be an OT before she got married, and she is working on his lips this week - kissing, using a straw, blowing bubbles, etc. as she says that will also help him with his feeding skills. It would be so wonderful if Ian was eating more independently before Oliver and I come home. She also found some bread that doesn't have milk, eggs, etc. in it. Kathy (at the feeding clinic) had told me that Ian wouldn't be able to eat any bread due to his allergies, but thankfully she was wrong! They are going to try to get Ian to eat some honey wheat or potato bread this week. I know we could get some sesame butter as a replacement for peanut butter. I tasted it at the feeding clinic, and it is very similar (in taste) to peanut butter.

Ian is definitely allergic to cats. They're trying to keep Ian outside as much as possible for his sake. Paul is also allergic to cats. When Ian was tested at the allergist, they said he wasn't allergic to cats, but that test obviously isn't 100% accurate.