Eleven Years!

Oliver holding Mommy's thumb (8/11/12)

Today is going to be a jam packed day. Paul and the kids are coming for my discharge, and Nadia will get to meet Oliver. Ian isn't allowed in the NICU because he's less than 3 years old. I'm excited about going home for a day. The last time I slept in my own bed was July 3. It's very bittersweet. It's going to be hard leaving Oliver behind. When Ian and Nadia were in the NICU, I never went home until they were discharged, but they were each in the NICU for less than 2 weeks. It's a different story this time since Oliver will likely be in the NICU for 6 weeks. Yesterday I was talking with another antepartum mom, and her son was born at 29 weeks, but he never needed to go on the ventilator. My kids seem to have more lung troubles at birth than the average preemie as even Nadia (36w) had to be on a CPAP for a bit. Oliver's lung troubles are MUCH worse than Ian's. Ian had respiratory distress syndrome. The two main reasons why I want to go home are #1 Nadia's first musical performance is this evening (the second will be tomorrow night) and #2 today is our 11th anniversary. The gift I am desiring the most today is hugs and kisses from Paul, Nadia, and Ian and to hold Oliver for the first time. I just hope that can happen without the kids bumping my very tender belly too much. A former graduate assistant, whom I haven't seen in four years as she teaches in Boston, has been in in the area for a brief visit this week. She met Nadia, but both of us had a son in 2009. I have had to miss many special things (such as seeing Dan and meeting her son, Ray) this summer, but I won't be missing Nadia's first time singing in a church choir.

We haven't been on a date since May. I had made babysitting arrangements for a date in June (Father's Day weekend), but those had to be cancelled due to me being on bed rest. Usually we try to go out once a month.  Depending on when Oliver is discharged, we'll either go on our belated anniversary date in September or October. I'm assuming we'll be taking Oliver with us on the date so I can nurse him. In the hospital I couldn't buy Paul a card much less a gift. I did send him an anniversary e-card yesterday. Last year we considered going on an overnight date for our 10th anniversary. Ironically, I wasn't sure about leaving the kids. I had never had a night away from both kids since Nadia was born. The only time I had been away from her was when Ian was in the NICU. After this unpleasant lengthy separation this summer, I think a couple of days away with Paul in a more pleasant place (not a hospital!) sounds very appealing at some point in the future. We won't be able to celebrate the way we usually do, but by going home at least I'll get a lot more time with my husband on our anniversary. If I had a choice, I would pick to be separated from my husband and miss Nadia's musical if it meant Oliver was still in my womb, but at least there's a perk to his early arrival - I don't have to miss her first musical like I missed her first ballet recital on June 2. Although this anniversary isn't going to go down as one of my favorites, I'm very grateful that we're starting our 12th year of marriage as a family of five! I'm also excited that in 4 months Paul should be graduating. He's been a full-time student since January 2006. I was the primary breadwinner during the first 11 years of marriage, but in the near future Paul should be taking on that role for the first time.

Leaving the hospital means I can eat that brownie sundae I've been dreaming about for months, and I can try on clothes to see if any of my non-maternity pants fit yet. I am definitely not bringing shorts as some parts of this hospital are down right freezing (I saw one thermostat was set at 67 degrees yesterday). I also need to bring back a wallet so I can buy myself food, a boppy pillow for when he's allowed to start nursing, a nursing cover, some preemie clothing (as I read in the NICU handbook that they do allow the babies to wear clothing from home so it must vary from nurse to nurse), and another lens for my camera. I'm not going to bring many books because I haven't been reading much lately and books would be heavy for me to lug around if I can't stay at the Bailey House for too many nights in a row. I'm also planning to give Paul a long overdue haircut this evening and do Nadia's overdue birthday interview.

Every time the minor league baseball team (Harrisburg Senators) has a home game, they have fireworks at the end. The stadium is right across the river from the hospital. I watched the fireworks a couple of times from my antepartum unit room, and last night I watched them from my maternity unit room. It was a nice way to end my marathon stay as a patient here. I only filled out a breakfast menu for today as I was assuming I'd be discharged before lunch was served. As a fitting end to my stay here, they goofed up part of my tray. I asked for a banana, but I was given prune juice instead. I also was given 2% milk although I always requested either skim or 1%. I asked for a chocolate chip muffin and was given a banana nut muffin instead. It almost made me laugh. They don't have a kitchen (beyond a microwave and refrigerator) at the Bailey House so we shall see what I'll be eating in the coming weeks.

Paul's parents watched the kids Monday through Wednesday, a woman (Jocelyn) who goes to our church and is a student in my department watched the kids on Thursday, and another woman from church (was an elementary school teacher until she became a SAHM) who has a one year old son watched the kids on Friday. Jocelyn wrote me an email on Thursday night that really touched me. In part of it she said, "I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed watching Nadia and Ian today! I have never watched such well-behaved, polite, happy children. They were both very good for me." Music to this Momma's ears! Next week they'll go back to Jocyeln's house on Monday, stay at our house on Tuesday and Wednesday as my mom plans to come up, and go to Paul's parents' house on Thursday and Friday. I eagerly anticipate the day when I don't need to make any more babysitting arrangements because I'll be the one caring for my three children at home. Hopefully we'll be home in 39 days (when he'll reach what would have been 38w), if not sooner.

Today is a big day for Oliver also. The night nurse told me I might be able to hold him around 8am this morning. I went down at 8:15 (before eating breakfast even though it had just been delivered), and I found out then that I won't be able to hold him until later today. I ended up being there for rounds, although that was not my intention. It went better today as I now understand a bit more of the lingo and also the doctor doing the rounds today had a more cheerful disposition about everything so it wasn't nearly as overwhelming as it was yesterday. His bilirubin count has stayed about the same so he'll continue to stay under two lights. They are going to take him off the ventilator this morning and try to put him on vapo therm. If that doesn't work, they will try either SiPAP or CPAP. This doctor didn't think anything of what showed up on his brains scan although they will repeat it on the 21st. She doesn't think it's anything serious. What a relief as the words "brain" and "bleed" are not two that you want to hear put together regarding your baby. They are moving him to an isolette today as well. It's a big day for Oliver! Hopefully everything will go smoothly, and he won't have to be intubated again as he's about to extubate himself if they don't do it asap. I did learn through attending the rounds today that his hypospadias is worse than Ian's was. The location is much farther down (grade 3). Grade 4 is the worst type, so he doesn't have the most severe grade.