Exhausted!

Yesterday I wore a pair of shoes for the first time in 13 days. They were rather tight, but I was able to squeeze my feet into them. Today I was able to comfortably wear a narrower pair of sandals. This morning my feet were still slightly swollen, but as of this moment I can say that they are back to normal. My feet and legs really hurt over the past week, and until today I attributed all the discomfort to the swelling. My feet and legs are so very sore and tired today, and now I am chalking it up to 10 weeks of bed rest. The same goes for my back. Even sitting is hard on my back as I was very rarely sitting all the way up the past 10 weeks. I feel like every muscle in my entire body is aching right now. Even my toes hurt! Hopefully it won't take too long for me to be in less discomfort. It's not like I've done something like attempt to walk to the park yet! I'm sure it also doesn't help that I'm getting up every 2 hours during the night to pump.

Yesterday I came home to chaos. Several rooms had been affected by converting Paul's office into Oliver's bedroom. Furniture had been moved and there were stacks and stacks of books, etc. in the dining room, living room, and our bedroom. Toys that used to be in the living room had been moved to the family room. Also, other people don't know my system for putting toys away so the toy bins were all mixed up (whereas usually I have a bin for Little People, a bin for Potato head, etc.). Plus my things from the hospital were adding to the clutter (suitcase, etc.). I was so embarassed when someone came to deliver a meal yesterday. I have always had an aversion to clutter, but I think being in a stark hospital room for 7 weeks only intensified that. Last night I wanted to get garbage bags and put more than 50% of the kids' toys in the bags to decrease the clutter. Thankfully, I didn't do anything so drastic. I did some work yesterday, but this morning is when I did most of it. I was also not initially happy with where the bookshelves had been relocated. I felt that the living room was drowning in furniture. I have now adjusted to the extra furniture that is now in our bedroom (desk), dining room (two bookshelves), and living room (two bookshelves). I found new locations for the kids' toys today. I sorted through all the toy bins. I didn't do the toybox (yet). Another thing on my list for tomorrow is to tackle the flower beds, which haven't been weeded since May. There are still stacks of books around the house, as the bookshelves are all still empty, but the main floor of teh house looks 1,000 times better this evening than it did last evening. I haven't made much progress in our bedroom yet.

Two people from my church came over this morning and spent 2.5 hours painting Oliver's room. Paul did a GREAT job picking the color. I think it looks great! Paul hung the new valances this evening. This weekend I want to set up the crib and hang some of the wall things (ex. his clock). I can't wait to see how it looks once it's all put together. I am so very grateful for all the ways people from my church have helped out this summer.

This afternoon we met Paul's parents at the NICU, as they hadn't seen Oliver yet. Oliver's bilirubin level went up, but they didn't put him back under the lights (yet). He's still on the CPAP (level 3) at 30% oxygen. That is disconcerting to me because the last few days he had been on 24-26% with the Vapotherm. The doctor told me they gave him diurectics today to see if that would help, and if it doesn't, they are going to do another echocardiogram tomorrow to check his heart. After Paul's parents and the kids left for the playland at McD's, I held Oliver for awhile (Kangaroo care). Today was my first day at home by myself with Nadia and Ian since July 3. I had many battles with Ian - over taking his nap in his bed, getting him to feed himself, etc. It wasn't pleasant for either of us, but in some instances (ex. sleeping) we need to work to get him back to where he was before the hospitalizations began, and in other instances (ex. feeding) I need to get him back to where he was after spending a week with my sister in Maryland. The last time I was taking care of him, I was feeding him so it's going to take a bit for him to realize that Mommy also expects him to feed himself. At lunch he cried so much (in his high chair) that he threw up, but then eventually he calmed down and fed himself one piece of toast with jelly on it. I let the kids watch 20 minutes of television while I pump every 2 hours. They enjoyed that! Nadia refers to it as "milking," ha ha! I can't wait until the pumping phase is over. I vastly prefer nursing to pumping. Today I brought in over 500 ml of milk, and that had been produced in less than 24 hours. Once he gets to full feeds he'll get 272ml a day so I am definitely producing enough milk right now. Unfortunately the nurse dropped one of the containers of milk on the floor. It broke and out spilled about 80ml of milk. I was bummed about that, but then when I came home the first time I pumped I got 70ml so I guess it wasn't a big deal to lose that "liquid gold" as they call it.