Forty-five

As of today I am 45 years old, which means I'm now closer to 50 years old than to 40 years old. The number isn't really a big deal to me. Yes, it is obvious I am getting older by the gray hairs that are becoming more prevalent, my memory not being as reliable, etc. What is far more significant to me than the number is that it is my first birthday without my mom. I think there are several big lines of demarcation in my life in which I tend to think of before/after such as before vs. after I got married or how life changed on June 24, 2008 when I became a mom. I think the date of my mom's passing is now one of those big lines of demarcation as I think of lasts with her and now firsts without her. Next month it will be 25 years since I graduated from college, and if I die when I am 71 like my mom did, then I have 26 years left here on earth. It sort of puts things into perspective albeit none of us knows how many more days or years we have left here on earth, or maybe the Lord will come again before I pass away. My mom's sister's mother-in-law is still alive at the age of 101, and Paul's dad's

mom is still alive at the age of 94. My dad sang the happy birthday song to me this morning as is our family tradition, but I was used to hearing it as a duet between my mom and dad. I miss you so much, mom. Thanks for all you did for the first 44 years of my life to make my birthdays special.

I had been dreading this birthday a bit because of grieving the loss of my mom, but I didn't know it would be a physically unpleasant week for the kids and I. Today is day eight of at least one of us throwing up every day. Cleaning up Oliver's vomit was definitely not high on my list for a birthday activity, but it means I'm a mom, and I'm very thankful to be his mom. When I took our temperatures this morning, both Oliver and I still had a fever. Oliver didn't eat anything yesterday, but he said he was hungry this morning and asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He kept it down for almost five hours so I thought it was safe to take the kids out for lunch after homeschool gym class. The

teacher allowed me to enroll Oliver in the class even though the minimum age is technically five-years-old. They only charge an extra $10 for the third child (which works out to $1.60 per 90 minute class). Oliver wasn't up to participating today, but I signed him up assuming he'll be enjoying the class starting next week. I had an embarrassing moment when I was writing out the check to pay for the three kids to attend the class. Would you believe I actually asked the man what today's date was? Then when he said April 21, I thought, this has to be a first that I have forgotten the date on my own birthday! I am definitely not firing on all cylinders today. Then as I went to sign the bottom of Oliver's registration form I put the date as 4/21/72 instead of 4/21/17.  Oh my goodness.

We were going to eat lunch at Dunkin Donuts, but on the way there we stopped at Panera to redeem a couple of birthday freebies, but as we walked into the front door, Oliver started spewing up all over himself and their floor. I felt terrible to create that mess there. I carried

him into the bathroom and tried to clean him up as best I could and cleaned up the mess he created in their bathroom. So we opted for going through the drive-thru at DD and didn't order anything for Oliver. When we got home I gave him a bath, put clean clothes on him, and put him down for a nap. He's slept a lot the past two days. The past several years the kids and I have had the tradition of going out to eat three times within about 2 weeks of my birthday - once at Perkins, once at Red Robin, and once at Watson Inn. At all three places you can get a free meal for your birthday. Usually it's the only time all year that we go to any of those restaurants. We did go to Perkins with my Dad a few weeks ago, so the kids and I were planning to go to Red Robin today (their choice), but they realized that couldn't happen given Oliver is still throwing up. Hopefully we'll be healthier when my birthday rolls around next year. I had considered getting take out pizza from my favorite pizza place for dinner, but given how Oliver and I are feeling, it was leftovers for us tonight.

It's a beautiful day out, and the grass needs mowing, but it will have to wait. Nadia and I did clean the bathrooms today, and I did tackle the dishes when I came down this morning. I don't usually let them pile up, but given how lousy I felt the past two days they had been piling up in the sink. I admit I was hoping against hope some fairy would have done them for me last night while I was sleeping.

I took Oliver's temp a few minutes ago, and when I saw 101.8 I texted his soccer coach to tell her that he won't be playing in the game tomorrow. Hopefully we'll all be healthy in the very near future. I had planned a trip to a museum or two tomorrow afternoon, but those plans are also in jeopardy. The only thing on our schedule for Sunday is church, and the kids are singing in both services. My dad and Margie are flying to Turkey on Sunday. I think it's so funny that between my three siblings and myself, the first one to meet Margie will be Yvonne - who is the only one who lives on another continent.  They are going to meet Wesley, who is five weeks old. Once they are married in August they will have 21 grandchildren between the two of them.