Dollars and Cents

Well first I tried to estimate what the total costs would be if we did a fresh cycle in Chicago and then did a frozen transfer later out there with frozen embryos from both fresh cycles combined. I even included $$ for shipping one frozen embie from PA to IL, airfare to IL, etc. I think for both a fresh and frozen transfer we are talking about $12,500. This includes costs for freezing embryos, ICSI, copays for meds, etc.

We started ttc in May 2002 and started medical tests and treatments in May 2003. From May 2003 to May 2007 we spent about $3K on ttc (bulk of which was for the 5 IUIs). In contrast from December 2004 to June 2007 we spent $22,639 on adoption. So I guess we've switched gears from investing more in adoption to investing more in ttc. Well our total so far for ttc is still far less than adoption (about $10,500) but the numbers will be almost even if we do a second fresh cycle plus a FET.

It's a little mind blowing to realize what the totals might be, but these will have been spent over a span of likely 5 years (we didn't start investing $$ into ttc until 2004). Although I would rather have gotten pregnant the FREE way and not poured money into adoption avenues that didn't pan out, I can't think of much in life that I'd rather invest the money toward than becoming parents. It means we'll be hoping our cars last us at least 10 years (and we bought them used), but I'd rather drive a car with high mileage if it means I'm finally a mommy. I was doing the math and trying to see if in the end we'd have at least $15K left over (probably how much more it would cost to complete an adoption with Cathy if she got us a match) and wouldn't you know it came out to $15,656 - of course who knows if all my estimates are all accurate, but anyhow it looks like we'd JUST have enough.

So if we decide to do a fresh cycle in Chicago and then a FET out there later this means we will definitely NOT adopt from Ukraine. Frankly that's okay with us. Last month they increased the length of the stay required for parents over by 10 more days. Also, the families who submitted dossiers around the same time we did who HAVE updated their dossiers this summer still haven't gotten theirs submitted and of course more new people keep sending in dossiers to the same group of translators that we were trying to use. So I think they have way more dossiers than they can possibly submit in the next 6 months.

If we do fresh IVF and give birth then we'll do the FET later for child #2 (or #3 if we have twins the first time). If we end up with at least two bio children then we probably won't adopt at all. In that scenario our likely total bill for adoption + ttc = $46K. If we have one bio child from IVF #2 + FET then we'd still like to adopt one child through Cathy = $61K. If we have no biological children and adopt one child through Cathy then our second child will need to be adopted from foster care as we just can't handle a total bill much higher than $61K even though we will have spent that $$ over a span of about 5 years.

So I guess the bottom line is that if we do invest more money into ttc it means we aren't going to invest any more $$ into any new adoption ventures. If we adopt it seems it will either be through Cathy (our contract with her was for 30 months and we can freeze it at any time if necessary) or the foster care system. The only other possibility is Mark Miller as some of his adoptions total less than $15K so then we'd adopt through him instead of Cathy. If we do fresh ivf we cannot afford to pay for two adoptions as originally planned. So if we have no bio kids we'll need to do one adoption the free way (foster care system).

One way or the other we'll become parents...we just don't know which way!