One was frozen

Well of the four embyros only one made it to the blastocyst stage, and they have to make it to that stage to be frozen. My guess (although I have zero proof) is that likely the one that made it was the one "very good" one; so I am grateful for Dr. A's suggestion that we transfer two very good ones and one moderate one on Saturday as possibly if we had transferred all three "very good" ones (which would have been my first instinct) we might not have had any to freeze. I am encouraged on the one hand by the fact that one DID make it - in the lab no less which some feel is not quite as good as the uterus. So that encourages me that if one kept progressing properly in that environment then hopefully one (or more) are still growing inside me. And I am also encouraged by the fact that we will have one additional attempt at pregnancy in the future without needing to do another retrieval. I admit also though I am a little sad. I was really and truly cheering on all seven embryos, and I was hoping at the very least two would make it. Plus I feel sad for the three little embies that are gone now. However I have been praying about this so frequently and am trying to trust that it is all unfolding just as God sees best. It's not like we were really planning on having seven children!!! Hopefully these four (one frozen and three in me) will result in at least one child in our arms some day, and maybe just maybe these four will result in two, three, or four children! One REALLY good thing is that even if I got pregnant with twins or triplets, I believe Paul would agree to me doing a transfer in the future of the final embryo; so it is a relief not to need to think of placing any embryos up for adoption. And the bottom line at the moment is that it means that all our chances do not rest on the pregnancy test result next week. If I get a negative result next week, it will be much easier to handle if I know we can do a frozen transfer in the not so distant future.

I felt so badly as I called the RE's office about 12:15 to let them know I was leaving the house and would they please call my cell phone instead. And then I left the cell phone at home! OOPS! I was charging it up and forgot to put it in my purse. I kept waiting and waiting at school for my phone to ring, and I kept my purse close at hand. Well Denise was a sweetheart and she tried me at home a few times (left one message on the answering machine) and also tried my cell phone I think about 5 times (according the the missed call log). YIKES! I feel so badly that I put them through that, and I feel so appreciative that they were so persistent. She was calling as I walked in the door about 4:50pm, so I did speak to her directly at that point. I will make sure to apologize profusely the next time I see her or talk to her!!!

My Beta is scheduled for August 17. They usually do it 14 days past transfer, but since that will be a Saturday they gave me the option of coming in on Friday (13dp3dt). Still that's later than most RE's test. Usually they test at 10 or 11 days past the 3 day transfer (13 or 14 days past retrieval which is the same as "ovulation" in this case). I probably will do a pregnancy test at home. I have not decided when except I have decided at the earliest it will be next Tuesday (which is when many RE's start doing Betas). I'm not going to say for sure - in part because I haven't decided for sure, and in part because I don't want to have to tell on here or have someone ask me. At the latest I will do a hpt next Friday morning as I do not want to find out by a phone call. I want to have a good idea what the news will be before the phone rings. So here's how I think it will work - if I get a negative you won't hear about it until I get my Beta results. So you might be in suspense until Aug 17. If I get a positive then I am sure I will tell the world immediately. But please don't assume that if I don't post anything next Tuesday or Wednesday that it means I got a negative. It might just mean I decided to wait. Does that make sense? LOL

We got a couple of emails recently from Cathy (of Adoption Consultants). One she wants us to send 10 more profiles. There was a miscommunication. I would have done 40 in the last batch rather than 30 had I known she wanted 40 more. I thought since we sent 10 in the first batch we only needed to send 30 in the second. Actually I know I even asked her that directly, but obviously we just had a miscommunication. I am going to wait a little as I am just not in the frame of mind yet to do that. When we did the last I was praying they were the last we'd ever do. We've already made 180 profiles, but I guess the number will rise to 190 soon. Also, she sent a "situation" which didn't meet our preferences in terms of race, but upon seeing photos of another child that this particular birthmother and birthfather had together, we were fine with the racial mixture. However, the birthmother expenses are just too much for us. The total adoption would be more than $25K (we've paid $4,900 of that already). That's too much for us. So we will just decline (plus Paul said maybe I'm already pregnant with twins which is true!). I am glad though we are still pursuing adoption even though it hasn't gotten us anywhere the past 1,000+ days, it's nice to know IVF is not our only possible way to become parents.